Practice English Speaking&Listening with: New Homes and Old Friends | Critical Role | Campaign 2, Episode 111

Difficulty: 0

MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode

of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors

sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

ALL: (hollering) We play Dungeons & Dragons!

MATT: Like that.

Before we get into tonight's episode,

we do have some quick announcements

to get through, beginning with our first

of two sponsors tonight, Skillshare.

Sam, if you don't mind.


LIAM: Oh shit. TRAVIS: Oh.

I guess he wants me to read.

Oh, I have papers.

This episode is sponsored by Skillshare,

an online learning community with thousands

of inspiring classes for curious people.



ASHLEY: Uh-oh. TRAVIS: I guess I'm supposed to

read in a French accent?

Okay. MATT: This is awful.

TRAVIS: (exaggerated French accent) Skillshare offers amazing classes

designed for real life, including graphic design,


and music.

(normal voice) Oh god.


TRAVIS: (French accent) Sadly, the one class Sam could not find

on this site was miming,

(normal voice) which is why he's terrible at it.

Go on, Sam, why don't you mime juggling chainsaws?


What about driving in rush hour traffic?


TALIESIN: 10 and two.

TRAVIS: (French accent) Yeah, that's truly terrible,

but don't let that dissuade you.

With memberships as low as $10 a month,

with annual subscription. LAURA: (laughs)


Skillshare is a great way to learn

and unlock your creativity.

LAURA: (French accent) Be our guest!


why don't you try needing to poop with no toilet in sight?


TRAVIS: Or how about being birthed by a rhino?


TRAVIS: Being birthed by a rhino.

LIAM: What?

ASHLEY: Burped.

TRAVIS: Get through, make it through.


TRAVIS: Well done, monsieur.

Go check out Skillshare for yourself now


and thanks for their continued support.


That was amazing.

LIAM: Fucking nightmare fuel.

TRAVIS: Bravo, bravo, monsieur.

LAURA: Why don't you ever get cast for your French accent, baby?

That was amazing. TRAVIS: I have no idea.

LAURA: Wow. TRAVIS: That was just awful.

MATT: I don't know why, but certain expressions,

I went straight to Devil's Rejects.


MATT: With that makeup, it's--

I am not going to sleep well tonight, thank you, Sam.

And I'm sorry, Skillshare.

Our second sponsor, our returning friends,

every episode from the beginning of the campaign,

D&D Beyond.

ALL: D&D Beyond!

MATT: Of which, now you can add a whole unique selection

of digital dice to your D&D Beyond account,

which is awesome.

It says here, roll using the finest 64-bit metals,

with the blacksmith pack, or unleash the power of Medusa

on every natural 20, using the mythic dice set.

Each dice set is unique and integrated

with the D&D Beyond character sheet,

so you can roll them with a simple click of any stat,

which is actually pretty cool.

I prefer the physicality of the dice, personally,

but then I saw the actual digital stuff,

was like, yeah, that's actually pretty bad ass,

especially for online stuff. LAURA: Yeah, the digital stuff

is really awesome.

MATT: So check out these digital dice sets now

and more at

Okay, Marisha, you have some announcements, I believe.


Do I now?


TRAVIS: Keep it going.

LIAM: Oh boy, another Sam bit. I love these. MARISHA: Wow, that's not right.

MATT: Hey!

MARISHA: I'm assuming my announcement is--

MATT: (whispering) Talks on September 29th, 7:00pm Pacific.

MARISHA: What? Talks?

Yeah, Talks, that's the 29th? At 7:00pm?

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: On Tuesday, you know?

When Talks is.

And it's happening again!

MATT: Episode 111.

MARISHA: It's covering episode 111.

MATT: Be available on YouTube Thursday.

MARISHA: And it will totally be available on YouTube on Thursday.

MATT: And the Critical Role Podcast Network.

MARISHA: And the Critical Role

Podcast Network, of course, you know, 36 hours--

TRAVIS: Do it in a French accent.

MARISHA: ("French" accent) In 36 hours!

MATT: Oh yeah! LIAM: Wow.

TRAVIS: Arguably better than mine.

Arguably better.

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: Yeah, Talks, it's back still.


MATT: Awesome. Thank you, Marisha, well done.

MARISHA: Thank you!

LIAM: We got mime and ventriloquism.

MATT: That's what we're here for.

ASHLEY: Why didn't you ask me to do the French accent?

With how amazing I am at-- oh, okay.

LAURA: The whole game tonight.

LIAM: Now, you got to.

MATT: All righty.

And we do have one final announcement,

a pretty sizable announcement.

Ashley, if you wouldn't mind taking it away.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.

So, since we started Critical Role,

we all have been absolutely blown away

by this community's support,

and especially when it comes to charity campaigns.

So today, we are excited to announce the launch

of Critical Role Foundation!

(cheering) (clapping)

So it's a nonprofit organization with a mission statement

that I'm sure some of you will recognize,

to leave the world better than we found it.

TRAVIS: Hell yeah.

ASHLEY: So am very excited to serve as the President of CRF,

with Matt as our board member.

MATT: One of a number, but the one here.

ASHLEY: Yes, the one here, present.


Okay, so for our first campaign,

we have partnered with one of my favorite organizations,

First Nations Development Institute,

to fund their Native Youth and Culture Fund.

I'm sure some of you know that,

because of COVID-19, there's been a significant impact

on Native communities, and right now, only about 50%,

I'm sorry, 15% of applicants

to the Native Youth and Culture Fund receive support.

And if we reach our goal of $50,000,

Critical Role Foundation will be able to fund

two nonprofits located at Zuni Pueblo

and Cochiti Pueblo for an entire year.


ASHLEY: This fund supports grassroots projects

that strengthen and renew cultural and spiritual practices,

beliefs and values, and helps preserve traditional

Native culture to the young people in these tribes.

So I'm very excited.

To donate and to learn more about CRF

and this campaign, check out

(cheering) (clapping)

MARISHA: So exciting.

MATT: Thank you so much, Ashley.

TRAVIS: A long time. A long time coming.

MATT: A long time. ASHLEY: Long time coming.

MATT: I know, like, two plus years in the making,

working on this thing. ASHLEY: Yeah, absolutely.

MATT: But yeah, thank you so much, Ashley,

thank all of you for all the generosity and support

that you've shown through the years,

that have helped us even be further inspired

to take this next step in doing good in the world,

together with you.

So yeah, go check out that stuff.

And I think...

I think we're ready to jump into tonight's episode of...

TRAVIS: Gonna be in the closet!

MATT: ...Critical Role!

Hey everybody!

Matthew Mercer and Omar here.

Wanted to let you know that,

there you go buddy.

Let you know that we will not be

having an episode next week on October first.

We had some unexpected adulting to do.

However, do not worry.

Everyone is healthy, happy, and safe,

but for all programming updates please do check out


all of our social media accounts

or to sign up for the newsletter.

Those will both be your easy bets, so anyway,

love you guys very much and we'll see you soon.

(water bubbling)

(thunder rumbling)

(explosion blasting)


Critical Role

Critical Role

Mighty Nein

Roll the dice, roll the dice

The adventure begins

They were always beside you

Your nerdy best friends

And the DM to guide you

And they rise from the flames for the battles ahead

Villains beware 'cause you're 'bout to be dead

They got magic and flair

They got falchions and cunning

They don't see over there

There's a monster incoming

Inspiration is waiting, rise up, don't think twice

Put your fate in your hands, take a chance, ♪

roll the dice

Roll the dice

Critical Role (roll the dice) ♪

Critical Role (roll the dice) ♪

Can you answer the call? ♪

Diggin' deep in your soul

As the legend unfolds

Now it's your turn

Your turn

Your turn

To roll

(fire blazing)

MATT: Welcome back.

So last we left off: The Mighty Nein,

after heading their way towards the capital of Rexxentrum

to meet up with Lady Vess DeRogna of the Cerberus Assembly,

you discovered that there was interest to the north,

the region known as Eiselcross,

within the perspective of Vess,

and she wished to hire you as both bodyguards

and co-delvers within these apparently lost ruins

of an ancient pre-Calamity mage city known as Aeor,

to the Frozen Wastes in that way.

You agreed to this and upon exiting her tower,

it seemed that another member of the Assembly

was aware of your presence, as a letter was sent to Bren,

inviting him and his friends to dinner

at the abode...

of Trent Ikithon.

So you went, gathered some supplies,

dressed to the nines and showed up to his tower,

where you had a very tense dinner

with Trent and the two childhood trainees

alongside Caleb as he grew up, Eadwulf and Astrid.

This tension-laden dinner, while the food was delicious,

led to many conversations, some...

darker reveals,

and some harsh truth from a Caduceus (laughs) to cap it off.

and some harsh truth from a Caduceus (laughs) to cap it off.

LAURA: So good.

MATT: But upon exiting, drinks were had,

escaping to a nearby inn, and you were all brought

to your chambers, specifically going into one chamber

that was rented by Caleb, who was assuring that there was

a place to stay that would be comfortable.

After paying to have a piece of furniture,

much like a closet of some kind,

brought to the room, you prepared a spell

and, briskly, you watched as the space

within this cupboard-like closet

began to shimmy and then reveal the interior.

As you all step through, invited by Caleb

into this space, tell them what they see.

LIAM: (excitedly) Yeah, well, you know,

we're all very familiar with the limitations

of our world, but we've been to places

where those limitations become more malleable.

And I have been working on something for all of you.

So please,

come in, welcome home.

As we walk in, you look up and see

that we are standing at the bottom of a tall,

almost cylindrical, towering room.

And all the walls, all nine of them

are vast stained glass windows

with ornate designs.

These are the nine schools of magic.

There, that's dunamancy.

You can see the dodecahedron at the center of that design.

That one there, with Frumpkin in his various forms,

that is conjuration.

This one up here, with the scales,

that is transmutation.

And so on and so forth.

I walk us forward about 10 or 15 feet

to a winding brass staircase that takes us up

onto a tower, about 10 feet in the air,

with a brass railing around it.


we are now standing at the same height

as the bottom of the windows, and looking up,

you can see to the top of the tower,

and 40 feet above us, there is another hole,

also nine-sided, and you can see through that,

beyond to more space, and way past that,

you see another hole, nine-sided, and beyond that,

it starts to get dimmer, but you can still see

another hole and another hole. (laughter)

There are nine floors.

TRAVIS: Oh, shit.

LIAM: Follow me, please.

And Caleb steps forward into the center

of this platform and begins to--

Just think "up."

Just begins to slowly rise up through the center of the room.

TRAVIS: He's levitating? LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: (laughs) (clapping)

LIAM: Come on, come on, don't be shy. There's much to see.

TRAVIS: It's like Hogwarts with the broomsticks.

LAURA: I think I can.

ASHLEY: I think I can, I think I can.

SAM: Can we all do that?

TALIESIN: This is weird.

LIAM: You just think it and it is so, at least in here.

LAURA: Like, think anything or just the directions that we can move?

LIAM: Generally, up or down are the only ones that work, but try anything.

TRAVIS: I'll try and go up and spin as I'm going.

ASHLEY: Any happy, little thought?

MATT: You watch, as you slowly begin to corkscrew upward.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's happening! It's happening, it's fuckin' happening!

LAURA: I'm going to act like I'm swimming, like in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

TALIESIN: I'm going to start trying to do a tuck and roll.

MATT: Just don't bump into the ceiling, it will have to be washed.

LIAM: You're moving at about the same rate

you are familiar with when Feather Fall is cast on you.


LIAM: As you pass by all of these windows

and reach this hole, you see just the barest

bit of brass inside the lining of that hole,

but pass through it.

As the last of you come in, it's Caduceus,

I say, "zu" and a brass metal iris

closes around where we came from, shutting it,

but we continue to float up a little bit.

And now we're in another large chamber,

not as tall as the first, but the same nine sides.

And you see...

well, there are globules everywhere, lighting up the room.

Floating maybe five feet off the floor,

all around the chamber.

This is a very large room, it's empty.

There is another ring of globules at the top.

You see on every wall, all nine sides,

there are beautiful, wooden,

Zemnian design,

sliding doors, all closed.

And, in each of the corners, at the floor level,

are little wooden holes or portcullises.

Above those sliding doors are little,

almost like a wooden aqueduct built into the walls.

Little tracks, moving around the room.

Some diagonal, some straight.

SAM: With water?

LIAM: No, no, no, just like an aqueduct.

We can--

LAURA: Can we roll, like, marbles down them?

What is this for, Caleb?

LIAM: We'll get to that, but you can roll marbles

down them, if you can reach them.

MARISHA: I pull out a ball bearing. LAURA: I think "up"!

TRAVIS: Goddamn it.

MARISHA: And I will myself over.

LAURA: Up, up, up! LIAM: You cannot--


MARISHA: Ball bearing.


LIAM: The room is much wider than the hole

that we floated out of, so everyone is generally floating

in an undefined, invisible column

in the center of this much wider space.

This is a large hole.

TALIESIN: Are you going to try and toss a ball bearing?

Here, Bless.

TRAVIS: You're going to break the tower.

MARISHA: (grunting)

LAURA: (mimicking crashing)

MARISHA: I'm trying to toss a ball bearing in the aqueduct.

Definitely made for blood.

MATT: Okay, go ahead and make a d20 roll. TALIESIN: With a d4.

LAURA: Caleb! LIAM: Ja?

MATT: Add a d4 and add your dexterity modifier. LAURA: You made a happy fun ball.

MARISHA: (laughs) Oh boy. LIAM: It's a different shape, but.


MATT: 15?

It makes it, roughly.

LIAM: Okay, so what would happen is that ball bearing

would hit the aqueduct and we'd just hear that little,


slides down and goes down around,

hitting corners as it goes, maybe to three corners,

and disappears into a hole.


LIAM: And then it comes out a hole on the floor level

on the other side, and rolls off into the center

of the room, hitting the brass,

closed brass iris at the center of this floor.

And we float up through, and we are now

in a massive three-story library.

LAURA and MARISHA: (gasp)

LIAM: This is the salon.

This is where we will spend a lot of time together.

It's three levels of libraries, with steps,

wooden, spiraling steps, going up in different places.

It is not symmetrical.

There are different areas on the floor level in here,

not in the center, because there is a hole.

You would not put furniture in a hole.

There are chaise lounges and fainting couches

and comfy chairs and a beautiful fireplace,

with a fire crackling in it already.

Above the fireplace is a stained glass window,

the length of the fireplace, and the glass

is in a pattern and color and design that

immediately brings to mind Mollymauk's coat.


LIAM: All around the room, you see, on different levels,

other little reading nooks and cozy corners.

On the second floor, on one side, you see maps

hanging from the wall and a large wooden table

in the shape of the continent of Wildemount.

There are globules floating around.

Hidden amongst the lining of the library shelves

are more of these wooden tracks,

there are holes on the bottom level, the second level,

the third level. LAURA: What's it for, Caleb?

What's it for?

MARISHA: Wait-- TRAVIS: Urine, urine.

LAURA: Also, do the books actually have anything in them?

Are they blank books, are they real books?

LIAM: They are real books.

They're all books that I have read.

LAURA: Wow, you've read a lot of books.

TRAVIS: In your mind? Books you've read in your keen mind?

Like, they're just there?

LIAM: There may be some duplicates, it's a lot of books.

TRAVIS: Oh fuck! MATT: (laughs)

LIAM: But not many.

LAURA: Think of all the dicks I can draw.

TALIESIN: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Caleb, this is stunning.

How long have you been working on this?

LIAM: Who, me or Liam?

TRAVIS: Oh! (laughter)

TALIESIN: Both, actually. TRAVIS: Both, yeah.

LIAM: Liam, for over a year.


LIAM: Well, since...

since I was not able to stop the three of you

from being taken from us, I have been working it out.

One step at a time, you know.

The dome is-- I love the dome.

We will still use the dome; I cannot always do this.

This takes a lot of time and attention and focus,

but I wanted to do better.

SAM: Is it always here? I mean, with you?

Like, does it disappear when we leave?

LAURA: Yeah, is it like your little amber?

TALIESIN: Do we have to steal this wardrobe?

TRAVIS: Yeah, do we need a closet?


The doorway to this, right now,

we are about one centimeter off of our current reality.

We're very...

it's funny, we're actually very small right now.

It doesn't feel that way, but we are.

The doorway, as soon as I closed it behind us,

is invisible to the proprietors of the inn.

If we are ever somewhere on the side of a mountain

or at the beach and I open the doorway there,

it will remain there, usable only by us,

and if I close the door, no one else will see it.

So we have a tiny little place to hide.

TRAVIS: Usable only by us, no one could stumble upon it, into it?

LIAM: Well. TRAVIS: By accident.

LIAM: It's hard to, it would be difficult.

It's not impossible.

ASHLEY: Can they be invited in?

LIAM: Yeah. Yeah, they could be invited in.

TRAVIS: Holy shit. LAURA: So we have bedrooms?

LIAM: Ja, you do have bedrooms.

SAM: Oh, what floor is that on? TRAVIS: Was that on the second floor,

with the doors?

SAM: We're already on the third floor. LIAM: Fifth floor.

SAM: Oh, yeah.

LIAM: We can come back here later, it's very late,

but this has been bouncing around the inside of my skull for such a long time.

Come, come on. SAM: Okay.

LIAM: (swooshing)

TRAVIS: Up! (laughter)

LIAM: Floating up through--

MATT: I love the idea of Fjord, every time he goes,

just says it, "Up?" Like bat!

TRAVIS: I say "Eldritch Blast," let's go.

All right? (laughter)

MATT: I love it.

ASHLEY: Eldritch Blast.


MATT: (wings flapping)

MARISHA: So good.

Human form.

TRAVIS: I love it so much.

LIAM: All right, so as the group levitates

up out of the salon

into what is the fifth floor, the lower bed chambers,

we're in a very small nine-sided room.

This says N-E-I-N everywhere, it says Nein.

For what it's worth.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah.

LIAM: We're in a small wooden chamber, nine sides,

and split evenly amongst those nine sides,

there are three doors.

Don't pay this one any mind, this is a guest bedroom.

LAURA: Insight check.


MATT: Go for it. LIAM: Roll some dice.

TRAVIS: I think it's, "Do I believe him?"

Is the question. LAURA: Do I believe him?

20. SAM: (gasps)

LIAM: (sighs) You don't know.

He opens the door and inside, you see

a very nondescript fireplace, cozy.

Zemnian, wooden furniture and architecture.

Again, there is a small side table next to the fireplace,

with a stack of five books on it.

Several cozy chairs, some water in a pitcher.

And then, a door, leading into another section.

You could inspect the entire guest chambers if you wish.

LAURA: No, that's okay, I'll just inspect my room.

LIAM: Good, that's where the bodies are.

(door closing)

Caduceus, this one with the scarab beetle

on the door is your room, please come in.

TALIESIN: It's a very tall door.

(clearing throat) (laughter)

LIAM: It's not that tall a door. TALIESIN: Oh.

LIAM: But the furniture is quite large in the next room.

It is more accommodating to your size than you're used to,

traveling with us, for the most part.

In this room is another fireplace,

with a fire burning, and a stained glass window.

This one, depicting the story of Clay, Stone, and Dust.

On the left, beasts of the wild,

within a cavern of red and gold.

At the center is a pool of water,

surrounded by caverns of crystal

and plants and flowers growing about it, all in glass.

At the right, a pool of fiery magma

within a cavern of obsidian.

TRAVIS: Yeah, but give us the details.


LIAM: Furniture is simple, wooden, firbolg-sized.

It is reminiscent, the furniture in this room, of your graveyard home,

from the brief glimpse we had inside.

There is a tea station in the corner,

and that pot is endless boiling water.

TRAVIS: Fuck. LAURA: Oh my gosh.

I want to go back and re-describe my outfit that I was wearing last game.


LIAM: I push open an inner door and we find another room.

This room doesn't seem like a room,

it is filled with an eclectic assortment

of fungi, crystal formations, ferns,

and other plants. LAURA: So many fun guys in here!

LIAM: There is-- MARISHA: It's a frat party!

LIAM: A potted plant that is home to a small colony

of bioluminescent beetles that are crawling around on it now.

LAURA: What?! ASHLEY: Oh my god.

LIAM: I push through and within is a very large

four-post bed that is firbolg-sized.

There is a brass bathtub in here,

and you can see steam rising off of hot water in it.

TALIESIN: Oh, oh no.

MARISHA: Can I have Caduceus' room?

TALIESIN: Nope. (laughter)

LIAM: Just you wait. MARISHA: All right.

LIAM: Next, next, come, come.

Happy birthday, everyone.

Caleb leads everybody back into the central chamber.

Oh jeez, don't fall.

Zu, and the iris goes (swooshing) and shuts.

TRAVIS: Zu. LAURA: (mimics sneezing)

SAM: Is this like Star Wars Land, where some of the attractions aren't open yet?


LIAM: Come back in 2021.


There is lilacs on a door here and that is yours, Yasha.

Please, come in.

This is your room.

Also, a fireplace.

Notice the theme.

The stained glass above the fireplace

depicts the symbol of the Storm Lord

against a clouded background with gray

and lavender flowers along the bottom edge,

hints of lightning, of course, always hidden in the clouds.

This room is exploding with flowers.

There are pressed flowers hanging on the walls,

there are vases of flowers, there are potted plants.

Everywhere, you cannot see the walls in here,

you can only see a single door, which leads in here.

This room is far emptier.

There is a simple straw mat upon the floor,

and the wall wrapping all around it,

is a very familiar sight to you and you,

it is the mural that you painted for Yasha,

but as we all sort of crowd in at the doorway

and look at it, the flowers shift in the breeze.

SAM: Ooh!

LIAM: Just a little bit, just ever so slightly breathe.

ASHLEY: Come on. Come on.

LIAM: Here's your bedroom over here,

more pressed flowers surrounding the room.

The bedding is reminiscent of Xhorhasian design.

There is, in addition to the same brass tub

of steaming water and the four-post bed,

there is a terrarium full of insects,

which are either for viewing or possibly snacks,

depending on what you're in the mood for.

ASHLEY: I'm just going to, real quick-- can I?

LIAM: They're yours for the taking.



Sweet and a little spicy, a little,

you know, peppery kick at the end.

SAM: It's a dung beetle.


TRAVIS: Oh, a little cream-filled one.


LIAM: Come, come, come with me.

I lead us all back out into the center

of the lower bed chambers, and I just leave you all,

I just start hovering up into the next floor.

Up here, are three doorways.

On them is a small gate, an anchor

and the symbol of the Cobalt Soul.

TRAVIS: (grunts in joy)

MARISHA: (laughs)

LIAM: I push open the doorway to Fjord's bedroom.

The stained glass above the fireplace

warmly depicts a sailing vessel at sea.

The walls of all three rooms are designed

to look like the insides of a ship.

There are porthole windows spaced out

all throughout the quarters, but the glass

is thick and opaque, you can't really see through them.

Oh, I should mention, down below,

maybe another time, we're moving too quickly.

TRAVIS: We don't have to be, really.

TALIESIN: I'll take the whole game for this.

I'm really into it. LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: All of these rooms, these sitting rooms

that you've seen in all these rooms,

have the same little rounded table

with a stack of five books on them.

They are all the same five books.

But Fjord, if you're paying attention,

if you see your side table with the five books,

you see, peeking out from under it,

the same design from the altar top of Dashilla's

briny lair.

Just as a reminder.


Thank you for that.

LIAM: Next, right, pushing open the inner doorway--

MATT: Dietetics?


LIAM: These rooms all-- we enter into a sitting room,

and then there's a door to the right,

which leads into a unique room and then another door past.

The quarters sort of curve around

this nine-sided donut until it hits an end.

Your center room is very sparse.

It is a meditation room for you.

There is a mat laid out here as well.

On the wall there is hanging

an old, yellowed map of the waters

and islands of the Menagerie Coast.

Standing before the opposite wall

is a stone statue of the Wild Mother,

who is draped with curling ivy and vine around her, growing.

Through here is your bedroom.

There is a similar four-post bed.

The steaming tub of brass, but there is also

a hammock bolted into the ceiling here,

like you're accustomed to sleeping in,

in your sailing days. TRAVIS: The ship, yes.

SAM: Look, Fjord, there's a stack of two-pound weights

for you to do your exercises with.


TRAVIS: Thankfully.


LIAM: You can get jacked later, Captain.

Beauregard, let me show you your room.

MATT: You press the button on the side to...

TRAVIS: (machine buzzing)

LIAM: I push into the doorway with the symbol

of the Cobalt Soul on it, and we see another fireplace

and the stained glass above it is a picture of

the Mighty Nein, standing with their backs to the viewer,

looking off into the hills and fields of the Empire.

The same five books on a side table,

comfortable furniture.

I push into the middle room and you see,

mostly empty, but there is sashes in Cobalt blue,

draped around the room, there are three bo staffs,

hanging decoratively on one wall.

There is a polished wooden fighting post in one corner,

with blue bands wrapped around it.

There is a writing desk and quills

and a stack of blank paper for you.

It's not-- MARISHA: Perfect.

LIAM: The quality is just okay.

MARISHA: It's just-- LIAM: But it's serviceable.

MARISHA: I've been through so many notebooks, it's appreciated.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

LIAM: Here is your bedroom.

Four-post bed, all done in blue, of course, same bathtub.

Do me a favor.

Lie down on the bed.

We're all at the doorway, go lie on the bed.

TRAVIS: Go lie on the bed!

Be a good sport.

LIAM: Okay, there is a blue, like, sash or rope

hanging just above your shoulder there, pull it down.

LAURA: Pull the rope!

LIAM: It actually slides forward.

You are immediately looking at yourself in a mirror,

built into the roof of the four-post bed.

SAM: Hot.

Super hot.


TRAVIS: What?! SAM: Super hot.


Whoa! LAURA: That is amazing.

TRAVIS: Whoa! (laughs)

Look at her!

LIAM: We are friends, you and I.


ASHLEY: I go peek under the canopy.

That's going to be useful.

SAM: Oh, oh, oh, oh!

TRAVIS: (alarm whoop)


LIAM: Meet us outside in a minute.

MARISHA: (sighing)

LIAM: And I push everyone out.

LAURA: (squealing)


MARISHA: You're my best friend, Caleb.

LIAM: (ascending tone) Ooop!

TRAVIS: Are we out and up a floor? LIAM: Oh shoot!

I was so excited.

LIAM: (descending tone) Ooop.

LAURA: What about the gate? TRAVIS: Down!

LIAM: That's you.

LAURA: I'm the gate?

LIAM: You are the gate, that is the arch.

LAURA: Oh, it's an arch!

I thought it was, like, a gate-gate.

LIAM: No, it's the symbol hanging on your chain. LAURA: Awesome!

LIAM: Okay, anyway, opening the door.

The doorway, by the way, and the one that leads further in

have little gemstones sort of built into the sides of it,

subtly reminiscent of the Traveler's gate.

It's too much, too much, too much.

Okay, so here we are, we're inside.

Fireplace crackling, the stained glass above your fire

depicts the coastal cityscape of Nicodranas.

The Chateau visible and a small, red figure on the balcony,

arm outstretched towards the water.

LAURA: Mama!

LIAM: The decor and furniture in this room is not Zemnian,

it is recreating the decor and design of the Lavish Chateau.

LAURA: (gasps)

LIAM: Same five books.

LAURA: What are the books? I start looking at the books! TRAVIS: Ask the question!

LAURA: Of course I'm going to ask, I'm looking at my own now!

MARISHA: Tusk Love. LAURA: What is this book, what is this book?

LIAM: One of them is Tusk Love, that is correct.


Oh dear, where'd they go? Where'd they go? TRAVIS: What are my books this semester?

MARISHA: What are all the ones that we've had?

LAURA: The Daring Trials and Tribulations--

MARISHA: Yeah. LIAM: Tusk Love.

You read The Courting of the Crick.

MARISHA: Oh yes!

LIAM: You find something called Der Katzenprinz.

It looks to be some sort of illustrated

Zemnian children's story.

Change and the Potentials of Transmutability.

MARISHA: Everyone's interests. LIAM: And something that says,

Die Waldhexe und andere Zemnische Volksmärchen.

That's children's fairytales.

TRAVIS: The vortex? MARISHA: Oh, it's the vortex!

Hell yes!

LIAM: Okay, so--

SAM: Zemnian fairytales, by the way, are dark.

LAURA: They're dark. LIAM: They're very dark.

SAM: Kids get their thumbs chopped off and stuff.

ASHLEY: Om nom nom nom nom. TALIESIN: Bless you.

LIAM: Only the lucky ones.

TRAVIS: Om nom nom nom nom!


TALIESIN: That's all I wanted, Sam, thank you.

MATT: Yeah, the green, long-legged clipper man?


TALIESIN: Those shears. MATT: Yeah. (laughs)

LIAM: Caleb pushes open the next doorway, and inside,

everybody sees a very well-stocked art studio.

There are-- LAURA: (gasps)

LIAM: -- paints and chalks and ink and lots of paper,

still subpar, but serviceable.

There are painting easels and canvases

that sit, waiting for creation.

The walls in here are all blank.

In fact, the room is pure white and ready

to be whatever you choose to make it.

LAURA: I love it, Caleb, thank you.

If I put the paintings in here, they'll stay when we leave?

LIAM: If you wish. LAURA: Okay.

There is also a small, lovely side table in this room,

full of pastries and a bowl of blueberries in the corner.

LAURA: I will never get hungry while I'm painting!

LIAM: And then in here is your bedroom.

As you walk in, you see almost a recreation

of the bedroom that you just showed to all of us

the night before, but it is more of an homage,

it is more of an updated version of your room.

It has all the same elements,

but this is...

equal parts whimsy and elegance.

There are all the same shelves of books here.

The colors of the spines of the books

look exactly as you remember.

The windows in this room match the windows in your old room,

but since we are not in Nicodranas,

they are actually all stained glass, recreating those views

that you saw from your room. LAURA: Oh, wow.

LIAM: There are a small selection of framed art pieces

on the walls, mirroring a few of those bits

of art on your wall, so there is one of a very early sketch

that you did, framed in a wooden portrait,

and then one of the most detailed is there.

There is also a portrait of your mother on the wall.

Three lanterns hang about the room, illuminating it.


You too also have to look at--

you see your canopy bed.

And it is just as frilly, but again,

it is a little more sumptuous and refined.

But I want you to, just like Beauregard,

it's not a mirror, lie down and look at the top.

LAURA: Hop, hop, hop.

SAM: It's a picture of Beauregard.


LIAM: It's just an endless Beauregard looking

at Beauregard looking at Beauregard looking at Beauregard looking at Beauregard.

MATT: Wait a second, is this an actual live feed of Beauregard? Oh no.


LIAM: It is the same painting that you did

of Nicodranas, the lighthouse and the sea,

but like in Yasha's room, the painting is undulating

ever so imperceptibly, and as you stare at it for a moment,

you start to quietly hear sounds of the city

and of the ocean. SAM: Ooh.


LIAM: A simple illusion.

LAURA: It's wonderful, thank you.

LIAM: One room left.

SAM: Oh, yes!

I can't wait. LIAM: Yeah, come.

SAM: But it's not on this floor though.

LIAM: No-- SAM: I get my own floor?

LIAM: Almost, you have to split it with me, if that's okay.


LIAM: And I lead them out and start to hover up.

SAM: Up!



LIAM: There are three doors here.

One is just a simple wooden door.

And then, the other two,

one, the wood is stained, just a hint, green,

and the other one is stained, just a hint,

there's veins of amber running through the wood.

I push open the ever-so-slightly green door

and we see another room, where the furniture,

most of it, is halfling-sized, much smaller.

And there are one or two chairs for people

that are as tall as Caduceus or Yasha, say.

The fireplace's stained glass depicts three halflings,

walking up a country road among wildflowers.

It is very clearly you and your family.

SAM: Love it.

LIAM: The furniture, as I said, all smaller.

By the fire, there is the table with the books,

but there is also an earthen container,

holding a variety of walking sticks.

All around the room are glass bowls

and little open jewelry boxes, filled with

either colorful gemstones, but primarily buttons.

SAM: Ooh!

So many trinkets.

LIAM: There is in the same direction,

a door that leads to your bedroom over there,

but there is another door on the other side. SAM: Oh!

LIAM: We'll get to that in a moment. SAM: Okay.

LIAM: I push through and you see a child's room.

SAM: (gasps) LIAM: Full of toys,

hobby horses, stuffed dolls

in various forms that Frumpkin can take.

Game boards, playing cards, lots of things

that you can shoot, because the boy's building a habit.

LAURA: And Luc's standing there going, "Help, Mom, I don't know where I am!"

SAM: He's been here for months!


LIAM: There is a proper painting, oil painting

of the Brenatto family, hanging on the wall.

As I push through into your bedroom,

another four-post bed that is smaller than the rest.

Same tub, but Caleb runs over to the side of the bed

and I pull out a sliding bed from under the first.

SAM: Ooh!

LIAM: So, you know. SAM: Like a trundle.

LIAM: Yes, so if Luc is ever, you know, frightened

and wants to be at your side, he can be here. SAM: That's great!

LIAM: But if you and Yeza ever need some quiet time,

well, he can sleep with all of his archery equipment. SAM: Amazing!

LAURA: Could you add, like, a sex swing in here, and a whole bunch of toys?

Because I have a feeling Nott-- Veth-- LIAM: Fjord, you could lend her your sex swing.

TRAVIS: I don't know if that's going to be possible.


Unless, you know, everything just cleans itself every time we leave.

LIAM: It actually does.

TRAVIS: Oh, any time!

You just let me know.

LIAM: Caleb, in a burst of energy, pushes back through the group and says,

now this is for you and me, and I push through

the door on the other side of your sitting room

and enter a large laboratory and study.

There is a giant slate on the wall,

with chalk markings already on it,

and there is a slate on the ground and there are tables

with alchemical equipment and paper everywhere.

Unfortunately, subpar with the quality again, but--

Good. It's good paper.

This is for myself and for you and for Yeza,

if he wants to do any work here.

SAM: This is incredible. What if I make a mistake, though,

and create a bit of a blaze. Won't that affect

all of your papers and your books and things?

LIAM: Well, the beauty about this place

is that it is not exactly real.

So if you paint a dick on the wall and you're not

that happy with it, or if you burn down your bed,

when we come back again, they will all be here.

And if you would rather have a sex swing instead of your bed,

you will have a sex swing. (fingers clicking)


SAM: It's all a girl wants. LAURA: But if we want to keep it here,

we can keep it here.

LIAM: Yeah. LAURA: Visual-wise.

LIAM: Mm-hmm. If you want anything different,

if I have missed anything, if I have guessed incorrectly

at your, you know, your passions or your tastes,

then please let me know. SAM: You guessed perfectly.

I mean, it seems-- MARISHA: Perfect.

TALIESIN: This is very impressive. SAM: Amazingly suited for us.

ASHLEY: It's perfect.

MARISHA: Where do we eat together?


TRAVIS: Up! LIAM: We skipped a room, I was in such a hurry,

and we zoomed right past it.

I start to lower down and I believe I left a couple

of those irises closed, so as we're going down I say, auf.

Auf, and before the bed chambers-- Sorry, Liam is so nervous--

there is another small, wooden--


Would it be "nonagonal"?

SAM: Nonagonal? LIAM: Nonagonol.

MARISHA: Nine-sided. LIAM: Another nine-sided room.

There is a single door in here and I push it open

and we are looking into a large,

almost pie-wedged room shape,

where it just spreads out to the sides,

and there is a large dining table

in front of a very large, crackling fire.

No stained glass here.

There are buffet tables, side tables,

piled high with food already.

There are doors, large swinging doors,

on each side of this pie-shaped room.

But don't--

don't go in there too much, it's busy back in there.

LAURA: I go in there. (laughter)

TALIESIN: I follow.

LIAM: Do you go left or right?

To the door on the left or to the right?

LAURA: The right. TRAVIS: Astral Dreadnought.

LAURA: The right, yeah. (laughs) TALIESIN: I'll go to the left.

LIAM: Okay, so--

TRAVIS: "Don't go back there." LIAM: You walk into

a large kitchen that smells instantly

of baking and pastries and cakes

and cupcakes and puddings and sugars.

And there are cats everywhere.

TRAVIS: What? LIAM: There are cats

the size of tigers, that are just large, spectral,

amber cats, and one cat walks right past you.

And on top of its tail is a tray of muffins.

And it just walks right by.

ASHLEY: Come on! LIAM: And little cats go running

and you see one cat go running up

one of these wooden aqueduct slides

and then disappears into a hole

in the wall. ALL: Oh!

ASHLEY: That's how they get around! LIAM: You walk into a kitchen

yourself, but in here, there are roaring fires

and large pots with the smells of vegetables

and meats cooking in this room.

Both of you, as you are taking

in the sight of many, many cats

and all of this food-- LAURA: Are they cats with hands?

Because, how do they actually cook?

Do all the cats have people hands? TRAVIS: (mimicking sneezing)

LIAM: You see another cat-- SAM: Another question:

Do they have buttholes?


LIAM: We will put it to the test.

You see one of the larger cats, the tail wrap around a stove

and just go (swooshing) and open it up.

SAM: With their tails? LIAM: Another cat's tail

pushes, like, a large wooden pizza oven tray

and pulls out loaves of bread and then

just maneuvers and carries it in and

rests it down on the table. LAURA: With their tails?

ASHLEY: Oh my goodness. TRAVIS: Do these cats shed?

SAM: Yeah, I don't think a health inspector would like this very much.

TALIESIN: I'm just going to close the door.

MATT: On the wall, there's a large blue "C."

TRAVIS: If I could get some Benadryl in my room, that'd be great.

TALIESIN: I don't know what I expected.

LAURA: Caleb, is this above or below our bedrooms?

LIAM: Below.

LAURA: Below. LIAM: Below.

LAURA: Okay, could I have installed in my room,

like, a little dummy elevator that can

just send food directly up to my room

if ever I'm hungry in the middle of the night?

LIAM: It's already there.

When you return to your rooms this evening to retire,

next to the fireplace, there is a red rope pull.

If you pull that, it will summon

one of the smaller cats, but you have to let them in.

There is a little metal brass doorway

on the floor, and there's just a little latch,

so you just open the latch-- LAURA: That's what the little doors are for?

LIAM: Pull open the door and the cat will bring you whatever that you ask it.

LAURA: Amazing. ASHLEY: Oh, it's a little door.

LAURA: I love it. SAM: Wow.

LAURA: This is the best happy fun ball I've ever been in.

LIAM: Well, I learned a lot from that place and this is probably

1000th of the size of that, but, you know, live and learn.

SAM: Can we open these irises or do you have

to show us around all the time?

LIAM: Come back to the central chamber.

Okay, so if you want to close it, you have to say zu.

SAM: Zu. LIAM: Yeah.

SAM: And then, auf? LIAM: It just went (mimics swooshing).

Yeah, auf is to open it. SAM: Auf and zu.




LIAM: So, for instance, here, come with me.

And Caleb just plummets down through the holes

and I lead us down to the second floor,

which is the large empty room.

So this room-- and I start speaking presentationally

and walking away from the center of the room--

is very large and you can do a great many things in here.

For instance, if you want to have an archery contest,

and I slide open two of the wooden doors

and you see what looks like a walk-in closet,

but there are targets lined up

and arrows hanging on the walls and bows.

Or, forget that, and I shut the door.

Maybe you want to have a party.

Maybe we are going to have some people over

and we want to show them a good time.

I open it up and you see stacked glasses

of champagne in the same space.

So none of this stuff can come with us out of here,

because it's not real, but it's real here.


SAM: We should've brought Trent here. TALIESIN: If we leave real things

in here, do they vanish or do they...?

LIAM: (sighing)

TALIESIN: There's only one way to find out, I suppose?

LIAM: Well, I've never been in here before.

TALIESIN: Me neither.


LIAM: I have only thought about it a great deal.

So I don't know, it would be an experiment.

TALIESIN: We'll find out. LIAM: Yeah.

SAM: Let's just leave one small thing that that's not alive.

Ooh! We'll leave your pet in here.

LAURA: No! SAM: And that way, if it's ejected at the end,

it won't matter. TRAVIS: You said my room had

three portholes, but I can't see anything past the glass.

And then, you said there's something down below, but never mind.

What were you talking about?

LIAM: When?

TRAVIS: When we were in my room.

About me.

LIAM: "Something down below."

TRAVIS: Yeah, and you mentioned there was a porthole and there was nothing--

LIAM: Oh, just--

TRAVIS: Just Uk'otoa. LIAM: Just the view

in the entry hall. SAM: (whispers) Uk'otoa.

TRAVIS: Gotcha. LIAM: That's all.

This whole place is very slowly turning.

TRAVIS: All the time? LIAM: All of the time.

It's very slow though.

TRAVIS: You said we're very, very small,

about a centimeter from where we are in reality.

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: That doesn't mean that we can be influenced from the outside, can we?


LIAM: No, we are apart from reality until we walk through the door.

LAURA: Why are we tiny?

LIAM: Well, that's just part of the magic of it, Jester.

SAM: Does this place have a name?

LIAM: This is Widogast's Nascent Nein-Sided Tower.


ASHLEY: Awesome! (clapping)


TRAVIS: Spell "nascent," bitch.


LIAM: I'll have to read it, because I can't remember.

SAM: It would have more of an alliteration if it were Nott's Nascent Nine-Sided Tower.

I'm just saying. LIAM: Ah, but then you would

have to create it, wouldn't you?

SAM: You can teach me.


LAURA: I'm not writing that down.

LIAM: That's fine.

TRAVIS: Widowgast's Nascent Nine-Sided Tower.

SAM: The only drawback is there's only one bathroom.

Sorry. (laughter)

TALIESIN: One bathroom, one sink.

SAM: (laughs) Yep.

LAURA: Anytime we have to pee, we just have to think

about there being a toilet and there will be one, right?

LIAM: Well, there is a chamberpot in your room,

but if you want to come down here

and open one of these closets, yeah, you could.

LAURA: Oh, that's good.

LIAM: If you wanted to pee in a tuba-- LAURA: So if you need to take a massive-- (laughs)

LIAM: -- you'd just hope for a tuba. TRAVIS: In a tuba?

LIAM: Yeah.

SAM: Pee in tubas.

LIAM: Well.

SAM: This is incredible.

LIAM: Anyway.


LAURA: This is amazing, Caleb. MARISHA: This is amazing.

LIAM: Well, you are all amazing.

And it wasn't that long ago

that I would have trouble admitting that,

but I would not be here without you people.

And I value you.

And there's not much I can do.

I cannot do a pushup like this one does.

I do not know anything about horticulture.

I couldn't find my way around the ocean.

I don't have an ounce of your flair and creativity.

LAURA: Obviously, yes you do, because you just made this.

TRAVIS: Yeah. ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah.

LAURA: So come up with something else that I do

that's cool, because you just took mine.

LIAM: You're hilarious. LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: I could not scare the ever living shit

out of people the way you do.

ASHLEY: Thank you. LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Crunch.


LAURA: You just have the bugs in your pocket.


LIAM: And you are my best friend, so.

SAM: It's going to be so fun to romp around

this place with all of you.

MARISHA: Are the walls...

thick? Can you--

Can you hear through walls? TRAVIS: Okay.

MARISHA: It's a valid question. TRAVIS: Just calm down a little bit.

We just got here. MARISHA: I just want to make sure.

LIAM: Well, the outer walls--

SAM: Are you a loud masturbator? LIAM: There is nothing

outside of them except for a pocket dimension,

but if you're speaking about your bedroom,

I believe they will suffice.

And if you would like, the next time I create this,

I can line your walls with lead or

cotton or, you know. (laughter)

SAM: Or that soundproofing stuff? MARISHA: Excellent.

LIAM: Mm-hmm, yeah. MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, good to know.

LIAM: Some of that egg crate-y stuff

that they had at the V.O. community.

MARISHA: Oh, right. SAM: Yes, they did.


TRAVIS: You said this costs you a great deal, it requires focus.

LIAM: Well, it's--

I can either whisk us from one side of the planet

to the other, or I can bring this into existence.

SAM: Oh, it costs magic, but you don't have

to spend 1000 gold every time we come home or anything.

LIAM: No, just the man hours it took me conceiving of it.

But no.

SAM: It was worth it, it's so excellent.

Wow. ASHLEY: Yeah, this is incredible.

SAM: Well, should we have a

cat dinner and retire for the evening?

LIAM: Well, it would be second dinners,

but we could have a drink.

SAM: Oh, did we already eat?

LIAM: With, yeah.

SAM: Oh, that's right. That was today.

LIAM: Yeah.

Let's go to the salon. LAURA: We didn't really eat.

Most of us didn't eat there. TRAVIS: Up!

ASHLEY: I didn't eat. LIAM: Anything that you would like.

Yeah, oh, all right, well,

let's pass the salon, we'll go to dinner.

LAURA: And I didn't get dessert, you know?

We had steak, but what is steak without some cake after it?

MARISHA: I almost asked him about dessert, but I felt like,

you know, I didn't want to stay any longer. LAURA: We overstayed our welcome.

TALIESIN: Oh, dessert in a doggy bag would've been a great--

MARISHA: I know. TRAVIS: (laughs)

TALIESIN: That would have been amazing.

MARISHA: Brilliant wizard, didn't think about a doggy bag.


ASHLEY: I'm really mad I didn't try that steak. TALIESIN: Not so smart.

LAURA: It's okay, I bet you can try it here. SAM and ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: Maybe we can think about exactly the flavors that it was.

MARISHA: And we can recreate it. SAM: Tell the cats to make you up a steak.

I'm sure they're great cooks.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: All right, so we all sit at that table then,

the large table on the dining level,

which is in the giant pie-shaped--

it's one piece of the nine-sided shape of the tower.

And I pick up a little bell.


streams of amber cats come running into the room.

TRAVIS: (mimicking sneezing) (laughter)

LIAM: No, they are--

TRAVIS: Hypoallergenic?

LIAM: They are fey. TRAVIS: Brilliant.

LIAM: And the table on both sides has

little corgi ramps up the side.

So the cats just pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip.

And-- TRAVIS: (laughs)

LIAM: -- amongst the plates and the beautiful goblets around us,

there are little orange tails just walking around.

TALIESIN: Are the cats in formal wear? ASHLEY: (mimicking cat)

TALIESIN: Their little bow ties.

LIAM: No, they are not dressed. TRAVIS: Next time.

LIAM: That would be ridiculous, Caduceus.

(laughter) (clapping)

LAURA: Do any of them play instruments?

LIAM: Methuselah!

TRAVIS: "Methuselah"! (laughter)

TALIESIN: I'm dying.

TRAVIS: Do they have buttholes?


TALIESIN: How else can they play the tuba?

Be serious. (laughter)

TRAVIS: True. LIAM: Methuselah,

bring your violin and your butthole.

ASHLEY: Where's Mr. Mistoffelees?


LIAM: (sighs) He's further back in.

ASHLEY: That's a Cats character, right?

MARISHA: Yes. Magical Mr. Mistoffelees.

TRAVIS: We still haven't watched it, we need to watch that.

LAURA: Wait, wait, I'm trying to think

the name of the one, Rum Tum.

MARISHA: Rum Tum Tugger. MATT: Rum Tum Tugger.

Nah. TALIESIN: (laughs)

ASHLEY: That's quite a name.

MATT: Yeah, that's a lot of the Cats experience.

"That's quite a name."


TRAVIS: (sighing)

MARISHA: Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat.

LIAM: So a larger--

a larger amber cat, that is the size of a tiger,

and a smaller one come walking in together.

The larger cat's tail is carrying a violin

and the smaller cat is carrying the bow.

They stand next to Yasha.

The larger cat's tail extends out

and holds the violin and the smaller one's tail goes up

and starts playing the violin that the other is holding.

And you can see a small fairy butthole

on the smaller cat as it plays.

SAM: Yes, it's flexing every time.

ASHLEY: I have a feeling they play much better than I do.


With my low...

TRAVIS: I bet they'll follow your lead.

LAURA: That's true, if you want to join them.

TRAVIS: Throw in some harmony.

LIAM: Shanks, I believe we want-- TALIESIN: Now, you have a band.


SAM: Fucking weird.

TRAVIS: He's been in prison.

LIAM: I believe we would like dessert. TRAVIS: A super dangerous cat.

ASHLEY: Could I-- ever since I had them on the boat,

could I just get some pancakes?

Just, like, a stack of them?


SAM: Oh wow. (laughter)

MARISHA: We got braids, we got pancakes, oh man!

ASHLEY: We are in the groove.

ASHLEY: Yasha, as you say that to Caleb,

there is a cat right in front of you

and you hear it go (purring)

and it just runs off the table

and disappears into a hole in the wall.

And, 30 seconds later, the double doors open up

and that cat and three others behind it

come out with little plates of pancakes,

held impossibly on a curved tail.

They walk up the little corgi ramp onto the table

and set them down in front of you.

And they had a feeling about you,

so there are pancakes in front of you as well.

MARISHA: Kitty cats--

Do I talk to you when I address the cats?

Kitty cats, who do I talk to? LIAM: It's up to you.

Whatever you're comfortable with, Beauregard.

MARISHA: I request to the cats, some of

some Lionett Wine.

LIAM: Some Lionett wine?

MARISHA: Can they do that? Here, I hand them a little sample.

LAURA: (laughs) MARISHA: Re-create that!

I want to see what they can do.

LIAM: The cat tail again, like an octopus' tentacle,

just this cat tail wraps around it

and it's lifted, and that cat-- (mrrp)--

runs off the table and disappears.

And then a little, almost like a triangle

pyramid of bowling pins, 10 cats come in with wine bottles

and then another 10 come in with wine glasses,

because this is for cocktails.

So wine starts to be poured from cats

in front of everyone. MARISHA: How'd they get so many varieties

from that one sample?

Oh wow. SAM: Complicated flavor.

LIAM: None of it will be here in the morning.

Also, you'll notice the clocks on the walls in here--

and you're seeing them for the first time--

those are on every floor and in your chambers,

they are beautiful, a little sort of...

whimsical clockwork,

clocks, where there is a sun and a moon and it is the--

it shows the time

in the location where we left.

So if we came here on the dead of night, as you can see,

the moon is on high on that clock and we will be able

to easily keep track. I mean, for me,

I don't need it, but for you,

you can remember how long we've been in here.

TALIESIN: I was going to ask, does time move

the same way in here, is time relative?

LIAM: I believe it is relative, but the clocks are locked

to the Material Plane we are familiar with.

TALIESIN: So if things-- if we are here, the time should move at the same time?

LIAM: Yeah. TALIESIN: Okay, yeah.

TRAVIS: Not like the Happy Fun Ball.

LIAM: No, I mean that is--

I might pore over books my entire life

and not achieve that.

TALIESIN: Oh, is there a time limit, too?

LIAM: Ah yeah, 24 hours.

TALIESIN: Oh, that's fine.

LAURA: That's a good amount of time.

ASHLEY: I take some bugs out of my pocket.

Start pulling off legs and things,

and sprinkling it on top of the pancakes.


MARISHA: Can I have one of those? LAURA: Ooh!

MARISHA: Yasha, can I have one of those bugs?

I don't know if I've ever tried one.

ASHLEY: You're going to love it, it's like putting bacon on something.

MARISHA: Oh, really?

ASHLEY: Salty, and a little kick. MARISHA: Makes everything better.

LIAM: Napoleon, give me your wasps!

ASHLEY: Tina, come get some ham.


ASHLEY: Like it?

MARISHA: It's pretty fucking great. ASHLEY: Yeah, right?

MARISHA: I didn't know it was going to have a creamy center.

LAURA: (vomiting)


ASHLEY: With something sweet. MARISHA: Yeah!

ASHLEY: It's a good combo.

MARISHA: It gets a little in your teeth. TRAVIS: Oh, okay.

ASHLEY: It does, but-- MARISHA: It's not bad, though.

ASHLEY: It's not bad, it's not bad. MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Slimy yet-- MATT: -- satisfying.

MARISHA: (laughs) Aww. LAURA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Only if you don't cook it right. LIAM: Hey, may I try one?


LIAM: A cat just scoops it out of your hand with its tail

and runs it over to me.

TRAVIS: Yeah. LIAM: Mmm!

ASHLEY: It takes a while to get used to, but it's very high in protein.

LIAM: It did not stop moving. LAURA: (vomiting)

MARISHA: Yeah, sometimes the legs

they'll try and fight you.

LIAM: Maybe I should have de-legged it first, yeah.


MARISHA: Pretty good, though. ASHLEY: Thanks.

MARISHA: Yeah. ASHLEY: I think it's pretty good, too.

LAURA: This is amazing. ASHLEY: This is amazing.

MARISHA: This is amazing, Caleb.

LIAM: You get a good night's sleep in here.


LIAM: And, you know, obviously it will not work always,

but I designed it so that you could bring your family

when it makes sense.

SAM: I gathered that, and as long as they won't be, you know,

kicked out of it when we leave, it's perfect.

I can have them close at hand.

LIAM: Well, they cannot, no--

I mean--

I am not sure if they can stay in here when we leave it.

It would just be for when it is safe to use

but all the time that we are here in Rexxentrum

and renting the room, I thought that maybe

they could stay with us for the week.

SAM: Absolutely! Long stretches like this are perfect.

LIAM: Yeah, and Zadash, we can take them and this to Zadash.

SAM: Perfect, yes, it's awesome, we should gather them soon.

Wait, are we going to Zadash?

MARISHA: We talked about it.

SAM: Like, tomorrow?

TRAVIS: I thought so, we were going to visit The Gentleman, yes?

LAURA: Yeah. LIAM: Yeah.

And maybe do a little Pumat drive through?

TALIESIN: I have something I'd like to get, possibly.

LIAM: What was that?

TALIESIN: I'd like to visit Pumat's, and

see if we can get a lead on Eyes of Nine.

LAURA: Yeah. SAM: Yeah.


SAM: Well then, let's get some sleep and head out.


LIAM: Oh, you have to be in the center of the tower, Jester.

SAM: She was just saying what she wants to watch on TV tonight.


It's a voice control remote.

LAURA: Can I ride the dummy waiter in my room?

TRAVIS: (laughs)

SAM: I love that you call them "dummy waiter," not just "dumbwaiter".

LIAM: You might be able to-- LAURA: Oh. (laughs)


LIAM: -- on a different night, if I shrink you.

TRAVIS: Whoops.


LIAM: Or you could wait, and I suppose I could-- LAURA: I'd have to be the size of a cat.

SAM: You can Polymorph into a cat.

LIAM: That's true.

SAM: Ooh, you could Polymorph into a cat and run around all those cool ramps!

TRAVIS: Oh, shit. ASHLEY: (gasps)

LAURA: I do that.

Make sure I have the spell.

MATT: Right now? LAURA: Yes!

MATT: Jester just (poofing) this tiny little cat.

LAURA: I'm blue.

LIAM: All the other cats go wild-- (meows)

Like a school of fish,

there are amber cats

all around the blue cat.

LAURA: (cat chirping)

LIAM: Are you making a beeline for one of those holes?


LIAM: Okay, they are dimly lit from the inside,

and you enter one and it takes you up an incline,

and we see this blue cat running close to the ceiling

in this room up, disappears into a hole,

comes out another one goes down a ramp and disappears.

You find yourself in the other kitchen,

now with more savory foods and vegetables and meats cooking,

and you go past into another hole, and enter a chamber

that you have not seen before, and in here

the aqueduct-like structure

is very complex and everywhere.

And there are ribbons hanging all over the room

with bells hanging from them.

And there are little cats that--

you are in the CPU of my home.

And there are cats moving in all directions,

going up, going down, going left, going right.

You pop out, go through a hole on the other side,

and you find yourself in the bakery,

again, on the other side.

TRAVIS: Downton Abbey, there's drama happening back there.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: You follow a ramp down and find yourself running along

the top track inside the large empty chamber

that is below here.

If you continue to go, you can reach every place in here

except for the bedrooms,

because you need to be admitted by the occupant.

LAURA: Okay, what about the guest room?

LIAM: I mean, you can go check.

I don't know if you've ever been there or if you know how to get there.

LAURA: Nope, I'm just going to get completely lost

for the next hour that I am a cat.

MATT: And you do, you get extremely lost.


LAURA: Cool.

Wherever I end up at the end of the hour,

I guess I'll just bamf back to me and wander--

LIAM: An hour later, you are running along a track and go boom,

and find yourself hanging between the windows

for dunamancy and abjuration,

20 feet above the floor of the entry hall.

TALIESIN: Metaphor.


LIAM: Yeah, it doesn't work on the wall.



TRAVIS: You're in trouble.

LAURA: Oh no! TRAVIS: Take the damage, you dumb cat.


LAURA: Oh no!

Um-- (laughs nervously)

TALIESIN: Call for help.

MARISHA: Just stay there all night.

LAURA: Help!

MATT: Everyone else is like super full and tired,

and going off to their respective rooms

to sleep for the night.

LAURA: Help, it's Jester!

Help me!

LIAM: You notice after a minute of this,

that about 100 amber cats have joined

in a massive clump underneath you, 20 feet down.

LAURA: Okay. LIAM: And they are

piling on top of each other, World War Z-style beneath you.

LAURA: Thank you, cats. I'm going to let go now.

TRAVIS: You're going to kill them.

LAURA: Did I smush them?

Several of them go-- (popping, exploding noises)

TRAVIS: (laughing) Oh, no! (laughter)

LIAM: But it does break your fall.



You killed cats in your first day. LAURA: Oh no!

ASHLEY: Yeah, they'll regenerate. TRAVIS: The first day!

LAURA: I'm sorry, cats!

SAM: They got nine lives. ASHLEY: (poof)

TALIESIN: They're like Meeseeks,

nonexistence is torture. LAURA: You're all very kind.

I'll go to the center of the room and say: Up.

LAURA: Auf, auf! MATT: Fishing king crab,

being an amber cat in this magic tower.

LAURA: Yeah, I'm trying to get up to my room. (laughs)

MATT: Hard life.

Well, that's the easiest hour I've ever had to dungeon master.

SAM: Hey!

LAURA: An hour!

MATT: That was awesome.

ASHLEY: Beautiful. LIAM: Is everyone going to bed?

Is that what happened? SAM: I think so.

TALIESIN: Oh. SAM: Yeah, we have stuff to do.

LIAM: Okay, well the last thing, then,

and Caleb would have gone and maybe hung out in the salon

for a while, waiting till everyone went to bed.

And when he heard the cats explode down below,

he knew that Jester was on her way to bed,

and he would have waited another hour beyond that,

just leafing through a book.

And once the tower was still,

he would walk into the center of the tower

and start to levitate up

past the dining level,

past the lower bedrooms,

the middle bedrooms,

the upper bedrooms,

and once he's in the small chamber

where Veth and Caleb's rooms are, he looks up and says:

Fort, doch nicht vergessen.

And a brass iris opens

and he floats up in there and says:


And looks around the small--

well, medium sized wooden room

that he's in with the nine doors in it, and counts

and says: Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs.

And he opens it and walks into

a large,

surprisingly large stone room,

shabby-looking, and there are three

wooden chairs spread out

with leather straps hanging off of them

and there is an old crusted over metal rolling tray

with some tools sitting on it and green, gritty dust on it

and matted disgusting hay in one corner.

He walks forward and sits down

in the middle wooden chair.

There are torches hanging on the wall, illuminating it in here.

He thinks about the dinner,

and just sits there for a long time,

and eventually falls asleep.

MATT: Okay.

One of the best nights of rest you've all gotten

in quite some time, and eventually--

MARISHA: Beau was up pretty late as well in her room

just poring through notes.

And meditating on past conversations. MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Borderline obsessively. MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Before passing out.

MATT: Book still open.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm. MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Jester calls a bunch of the cats to her room

so she can snuggle in a bed full of cats

as she goes to sleep.

MATT: There's no argument there.

LAURA and LIAM: (cat chittering)

MATT: All righty.


One by one, you all come to consciousness

the following morning and make your way down

for what you assume breakfast

will be prepared.

Probably the latest to join would be Beauregard and Caleb.

But eventually you all do,

have your meals prepared by a plethora

of magical fey cats of all sizes.

It is the greatest of Monster Hunter dreams here.

What would you like to do?

TRAVIS: Could I give a small request, critique?

The hammock was amazing.

Could you make it sway as if I was in a boat?

It was the only thing that was missing.

LIAM: Yeah, easy.

TRAVIS: Thank you. Otherwise, brilliant, brilliant.

LIAM: So what's step one today?

Are we bringing your family with us to Zadash?

SAM: If you have the magic to do it.

LIAM: I do.

SAM: Then yes, but I don't want to hold everyone up.

Maybe-- Do we have to go back to Nicodranas first,

and then to Zadash, is that how that works?

LIAM: Oh, they're in Nicodranas still, right?

SAM: Yes.

LIAM: Yeah, that's true, so either we need to rely

on the hospitality of Yussa, to use his circle

and then we can go straight away to Zadash,

because I can take us there,

or if I take us to your mother's

or to your house, then we would have to wait a day

before we could go.

SAM: Let's go through Yussa and start our journey.

TRAVIS: Yeah, let's get it.

LIAM: Keep it quick.

SAM: Yeah.

LIAM: Okay. I feel like with the Reserve,

you can swing your bo staff around,

but maybe for Yussa, we should--

Jester, let them know that we're coming.

LAURA: Oh, yes, I'm going to.

Sorry, I was looking at my spells.

Yes, I'm sending a message to Yussa.

We were just there. Coming back through.

Don't worry, passing through. Be right out of your hair.


Also, I've missed you dearly,


I'm okay with you not--


MATT: "Very well, but I would appreciate

"not turning my living space into

"a travel nexus." SAM: We absolutely will.


MARISHA: Totally.

SAM: It's happening.

LAURA: He doesn't want us to make his house a travel nexus,

but the thing that I'm thinking is

we gave him a Happy Fun Ball, which he's obsessed with.

MARISHA: Exactly.

LAURA: I think it's an even trade-off.

TALIESIN: Have we talked to him about our current predicament with--

LAURA: We have mentioned the Eyes of Nine to him, yeah.

SAM: He didn't have much to say.

TALIESIN: He didn't have much to say yet, okay.

MATT: He said he'd look into it.

LIAM: Well, maybe he has news less than 24 hours later.

LAURA: Here we go.

Oh wait, do we have to leave your house?

LIAM: We do, we need to go back to our hotel.

LAURA: Okay, wait, I'm going to-- TRAVIS: Down!

LAURA: -- pick up one of the little statues

of the Traveler that I had left,

and I'm going to sit it in the middle of the floor

before we leave, just to see if it'll stay.

ASHLEY: Good idea. LIAM: Okay. All right, so it's--

Oh, Mittens, don't clean that up.

Tell the others we would like it to remain for our return.

MATT: (meowing)

LIAM: He is a good boy.

LAURA: I know; he slept with me last night.

TRAVIS: A nightmare.

LAURA: Love you, Mittens.

TRAVIS: Making my eyes itch.

MATT: All righty.

So you all exit the cupboard?

LIAM: Yes, we will have to descend through the tower,

down to the entry hole.

ASHLEY: I feel like you're like actually,

just talking about it, TRAVIS: No, I am.

LAURA: Just talking about them. (laughs)

TRAVIS: I'm so allergic to cats. LIAM: Oh, wow.


Don't worry, just going to sleep here every night.

LAURA: No, don't do that.

SAM: They crawl all over your food.

ASHLEY: Sleep on your pillow.

MARISHA: One's on your face when you wake up.


TRAVIS: That happened. Went to the hospital.


LIAM: When you shave and you reach for a towel, it's a cat.

SAM: Same with toilet paper.

TALIESIN: It's not a loofah? Oh!

MARISHA: "It's not a loofah!" (laughs)

TRAVIS: (unhappy yowling)

LIAM: Okay, so if we descend through the tower,

down to the platform, land on that platform, descend down

the curving brass stairs and then walk to the door.

Once I open it, we see this small dingy little room.

LAURA: It actually smells worse than this closet now

than it did last night.

LIAM: All right, everybody be good boys! And I walk out the door.

MATT: Okay. SAM: We join.

MATT: One by one, you all step back into the

extremely meager inn chamber

that you had rented for the night,

one of many.

LIAM: I think on the way out,

I will pay in advance for the week

for all nine of the rooms, if they're available.

MATT: There's no argument there at all.

She's like, "Oh, yes, of course! Whatever you'd like!

"That'll be for a week, bulk, up front,

"we'll say, put it at 10 gold solid."

LIAM: Easily. TRAVIS: Don't forget the wardrobe rental fee.

MATT: "Oh.

"11 gold."

LIAM: All right.

MATT: "I was going to throw it in, but thank you."

LIAM: I meet everybody back upstairs in the room

and then I start to draw the circle.

LAURA: Wait, wait, wait.

LIAM: Aren't we going? LAURA: Yeah, but where's the dick?

Did it stay in the thing or did it get bamfed out?

MATT: Have you canceled?

LIAM: No, I have not done it yet.

MATT: So nothing yet.

LIAM: Okay. Well, are we all ready to go?

Does anyone need to go inside and use the chamber pot,

or take a bath, or make some tea?


All right, I drop the spell.

MATT: All right, as you drop the spell,

that shimmering vanishes, and you hear (thump),

and you look, and your statuette

has been ejected from the space.

LAURA: We can't leave things there.

TALIESIN: Well, they don't like implode or anything

so that's a good sign.

If you accidentally forget someone in there

or something like that.

LIAM: It's good that we did not start with Luc,

and see what happens. SAM: Yes.

TRAVIS: Ah! LIAM: He's inside out!

MATT: Yeah, just like The Fly.

LAURA: Then it exploded.

LIAM: Okay, so I do start to draw this circle to get us

to Yussa's tower. Speak now or forever hold your peace.

TRAVIS: Do it. LAURA: Let's go.

MATT: You complete the ritual.

You watch as the circle of glyphs alights.

You all rush in one after another and reappear

in the darkened interior stone chamber

in the center of Tide Peak Tower.

There, the door is already open and you see Wensforth,

the goblin servant of Yussa who's already there waiting,

and goes, "Ah," and just gestures to the stairs

that lead further down.

LIAM: I don't know if this is gauche or not,

but please accept this. And I hand him two platinum.

MATT: He takes it. "Not gauche at all!"

Puts it in his pocket.

LIAM: Sorry for the consistent trouble.

MATT: "It doesn't bother me."

Leads you back to the base area of

the tower between the furniture

and the central seating arrangement

and out into the warm, mid--

it'd be late morning air, actually--

of the Nicodranas streets.

So the city is yours, what would you like to do?

SAM: I think, for me, I'm just going to rush back,

tell Luc and Yeza to pack a quick bag,

and just get ready to go.

LAURA: Yeah, we just head on out.

MATT: Yeah, Yeza is like, "Oh, we're going to--?"

SAM: Just a quick trip.

Remember I told you this was a possibility? MATT: "Right, right."

SAM: Well, it's happening.

MATT: "Okay! To Zadash, you said?"

SAM: To Zadash and points unknown.

MATT: "Oh wow. Oh, I'm so excited to travel with you

"and see all this firsthand."

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: "Will Luc be okay to come with you?"

SAM: Yeah, we're not going to do anything dangerous.

You'll always be safe.

MATT: "Okay." And Luc goes, "Aww."

SAM: Well, it's always a little dangerous whenever you travel.

MATT: "Okay." Yeza's like, "Hmm."


MATT: And starts packing his bag.

They get their stuff together.

Yeza gets his bag, and is like, "All right, ready!

"Luc?" Luc goes-- (cocks crossbow)


Yeza's like, "Put that back!"

MARISHA: Not TSA approved.

Can't through the portal with that.

TRAVIS: That'll get you on the list.


TRAVIS: (clicks tongue) SAM: Taliesin.

MATT: I know.

TALIESIN: Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.


TRAVIS: Need to confiscate that. Love the show, though.


MATT: That will never not be funny.




MATT: You're almost off the list now, right?


MATT: No? Oh, buddy.

TALIESIN: Another year or two. MATT: Another year or two? Okay.


MATT: Anyway, you regather yourselves,

and you are ready for the next leg of your journey.

LIAM: Okay, so in the courtyard of Veth's home,

I kneel down. Gather round, gather round,

I kneel down in front of Luc, and I place my hand

on his shoulder and I say:

Luc, what is the fastest you've ever traveled?

MATT: "We were on a cart once. It went really fast."

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: "It got stung in the butt."

LIAM: That must have smarted.

MATT: "Maybe."

LIAM: Do me a favor, and keep your eye on your house.

And I mutter three words and we're gone.

MATT: As you all emerge

in the base of the Zadash archive

of the Cobalt Soul, Luc goes,


"Did we die?"


SAM: No, no, no.

No, no, no.

No, Caleb just magically transported us

across the continent.

MATT: "That's so cool!"

Yeza's like, (groans)

"Okay, well.

"Wow. And where are we?"

MARISHA: Zadash, in the Cobalt Soul.

MATT: "That's really well done, I'm impressed."

SAM: Do they have a children's section here?

MARISHA: Yeah, of course they do.

You should see some of the Zemnian fairytales;

they're bananas.


SAM: Check out a few books on the way out.

LIAM: That'll put some hair on the boy's chin.


MATT: There's a brief bit of confusion

as there was no forewarning necessarily of the arrival.

MARISHA: Ah, shit. Sorry, guys.

MATT: And you envision there's somewhere in the file

about Beauregard Lionett, there's this long series

of write-ups for each time this happens.

They're minor, but they add up over time, but you're fine.

MARISHA: Wait, where is that infraction list?

MATT: Oh, you imagine it's somewhere. MARISHA: Oh, okay.

MATT: You don't see it, they don't have, like,

"Hey, look at your infraction list!"

MARISHA: On the board, yeah. (laughs)

TRAVIS: A bunch of names, and one long-ass line.

MATT: Yeah. It's been 10-- zero days since

Beauregard arrived unannounced.


LIAM: Another Lionett surprise inspection.

MATT: Exactly, but you do emerge back in the familiar,

somewhat gray Zemnian skies over Zadash.

A city that you haven't really been to in quite a bit of time.

It is a village that is familiar to both Luc and Yeza,

though they haven't traveled here in quite some time,

they spent some time in Felderwin,

but it's close enough to home where there is

a bit of a smile.

As much as they've enjoyed Nicodranas,

you get the air that it is nice to have

some semblance of home for a bit.

But you arrive here in Zadash.

Where are you off to?

LAURA: Should we go to Pumat's?

SAM: We should go Pumat's. TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: Oh, I bet Luc would love Pumat's place!

SAM: Sure.

MARISHA: You guys go ahead,

I'm going to stay here and ask a few more questions.


LAURA: (whispering) About the Eyes of Nine?

MARISHA: Yeah, I think I've been using the wrong words.

I think I know what to ask about.

So. I'll fill you in in a second.

Let me ask some questions to make sure I'm sure.

SAM: If they don't have anything, my theory stands.

Just find out who has access to the inventory.

MARISHA: Well, I asked about that.

You're talking about the--

SAM: Well, if someone scrubbed

the library of these books.

MARISHA: I have some thoughts. SAM: Okay, okay.

MARISHA: I'll follow up.

TRAVIS: I have some thoughts.

MARISHA: Some thoughts, yeah. (laughter)

LIAM: May I assist you?

MARISHA: Sure. Yasha, You want to stay here, or

you want to check in on Pumat?

ASHLEY: Kind of want to stay.

MARISHA: I kind of want to compare notes.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: You knew Molly better than anybody, and I think--

ASHLEY: Yeah. I'd like to help. MARISHA: I think he was wrapped up in some shit.

ASHLEY: I would love to help.

LIAM: Jester, would you do me a favor?

If there was anything interesting at Pumat's

that you think is up my alley,

would you let me know about it?

LAURA: Of course. I can send you a message.

Do you want to just give me some money

so I can buy it for you?

LIAM: I give Jester all my money.

SAM: It's like 50 gold.

LIAM: It's more than 50 gold.

TALIESIN: 50 gold, 10 silver.

LIAM: It is 183 platinum.

You don't have to spend it, but, you know,

if the right--

LAURA: If I see any really cool paper? LIAM: -- thing comes along

LIAM: I'm good with paper for now.

I mean something unique.

LAURA: Okay. LIAM: Okay.

MATT: Okay.

So you both are staying.

Yasha, you're staying as well, or are you going?

MARISHA: Us three. ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: The three of you are staying, all right.

After the rest of the group leaves out and you begin

asking around, getting some questions.

You hear a familiar voice go,

"(throat clear)"

MARISHA: Is it Dairon? Or is it Zeenoth?

MATT: No, it's Zeenoth.



MATT: "Expositor Beauregard. It has been some time."

MARISHA: It has.

MATT: "I've heard you arrived unannounced

"but a short time ago.

"Well, happy to have you again."

MARISHA: Yep. Like always, unannounced.

MATT: "Well, do you need anything?"

MARISHA: I do. A lot of stuff.

MATT: "All right."

MARISHA: I start opening up all my notebooks,

MATT: "Oh! Ah..."

MARISHA: -- slamming them down.

MATT: He's like, "Ah, right.

"So our resources are yours. Of course."

MARISHA: Mm-hmm. MATT: "Expositor."

MARISHA: I need you to find anything about the Eyes of Nine,

but you're probably not going to find anything about that.

So I need you to research a surname of Nonagon,

and maybe a cult wrapped around that.

Maybe it's a cult named Nonagon.

And then also if we have any records of a group

named the Tomb Takers?

MATT: "All right, well--"

MARISHA: -- and you might come across someone's name,

Lucien Nonagon.

Any records.-- MATT: "All right."

MARISHA: -- we have around Lucien, but I think

you just should start with the Nonagon thing.

MATT: "Okay, well, there was--

"the Herald Yudala Fon did put in a request

"but a day ago to look into this Eyes of Nine

"across all of the archives.

"So, that has been--

"it was in the process of research."

MARISHA: Anything?

MATT: "Nothing yet that I know of." MARISHA: (sighs) You're useless, Zeenoth.


MARISHA: All right, what else?

MATT: "We'll look into the other items for the moment."


MATT: "Anything else you require?"

MARISHA: Do you need help with that?

MATT: "You're welcome to research if you'd like,

"but you seemed like you were giving orders,

"as opposed to asking for aid."

MARISHA: Pull some books.

We're going to take an hour or so.

MATT: "All right. Well--"

MARISHA: We'll meet you in the main study.

MATT: "We'll make some space." MARISHA: Thank you.

MATT: "Of course."

MARISHA: Good seeing you.

MATT: "Good seeing you, too,"

and he wanders off to gather a few other archivists

to begin pulling tomes and books that seem to--

that could possibly correlate to what you're requesting.

All right.

So the three of you are doing some research

while you're here.

Who is helming to research what,

or who wants to begin their research?

LIAM: You are the detective. I will assist you.

MATT: So what specifically are you looking into, Beauregard?

MARISHA: I want to see if there's any records of a cult,

or some sort of order that's related to Nonagon.

MATT: Go ahead and make an investigation check for me.

MARISHA: All right.

With a little assisties?

MATT: If you'd like to.

LIAM: Yes.

MARISHA: Okay. You said investigation, Matt?

MATT: Yes.


25. MATT: 25.


MARISHA: Not too bad.

MATT: I mean the term "nonagon" is a

reference to some sort of a nine-sided shape.

Whether it be walls or geometric design. You find that,

but there's nothing in particular

about any individual or a historical record

of anything beyond that particular usage that you find.

MARISHA: Anything about the Tomb Takers?

MATT: Do you want to check on that as well? MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Go ahead and make a roll there.


LIAM: We're just bringing you books

and finding passages that are relevant.

MARISHA: My god, thank god you're assisting me:

one of those was a natural one.


MATT: 19.

There is a vague reference to a Tomb Takers,

or a group that has a title similar to that

out of Shadycreek Run.


MATT: Seemed to be active for roughly four to five years,

MARISHA: Four to five years? Okay.

MATT: But hasn't been active for--

MARISHA: Two years? MATT: About two years. So.

Of all the notes that you find that compiling on it,

it's loose notes.

It's more individuals have just kept note of it,

they haven't done anything of significance to really catch

any detailed archivist's interest

to keep cataloging anything beyond

that they existed, the kind of work they did,

and the general demeanor seemed to be--

MARISHA: What kind of work did they do?

MATT: Mercenary work of whatever was necessary.

A lot of it was just acquisitions of things

needed unlawfully, some thieving, some bodyguarding.

They were hired a number of expeditions into the ruins

of Molaesmyr, into some other--

MARISHA: Any records of who they worked for,

of who contracted them?

MATT: No, the only people who would keep records of that would be them.

And most of what's recorded here is recorded

through hearsay, or through inquiring

and paying individuals for information they had.

But since they worked largely out of Shadycreek Run,

and the archive has absolutely no power there,

what information they do have here is pretty scattershot.

MARISHA: I think Vess DeRogna hired them.

I just know they did.

LIAM: She fits the description.

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

I think he got wrapped up in whatever she wants,

whatever her goals are. And I think Molly--

I don't know.

I think he got looped into something weird.

LIAM: Yeah. Maybe the question is,

is she solely in this arms race, as it were,

with the Dynasty to see what

power or artifacts are hidden there,

or does she have some sort of longer term goal

that she is not discussing with us?


I think both.

LIAM: How do we broach it? Straight on?

Or do we try to suss it out?

ASHLEY: Thinking of something that-- (sighs)

I don't know if I'm crazy,

or if this was a thing, but