Arin: Have you ever seen this gif of Hulk Hogan
Arin: riding a motorcycle down the road while a dude chucks a dog in a river in the background?
Dany: [far away] Well, that's how I like to start my day. Arin: [laughter]
Danny: Alright, Matt, Ryan, please put that in. Arin: [laughter]
Hey I'm Grump. I'm not so Grump And we're the Game Grumps!
D: Well. A: SSSSSSSSSSS
A: SSSSSSSSSSS D: We are back
D: Yes, Arin? A: SSSSSSSSsssssss
D: Di-uh- did someone poke a hole in you? What happened? A: [laughs]
A: I was too excited to play more Sonic so I had to, I had to let some air out. D: Yeah, that's understandable
A: There was air. There was air in (Arin) me, hahaha D: [forced laughter] hahahehehuehuhuh
A: Fuck. Hey Sonic.
D: Fuck I can't believe you've done this. A: Now that we have more tablet fragments, isn't it about time to go see the professor?
D: By the way- Okay, we gotta go see the professor. By the- uhm
D: For anyone who hasn't seen it. We strongly recommend you look up-
D: It's a very old video, but just- "I can't believe you've done this"
D: it's a British guy who started h-yeah A: [quietly] I can't believe you've done this
D: He starts talking about a video
D: That he's going to do or setting it up or something and someone just punches him in the face out of nowhere
D: But instead of getting mad he just[laugh] he's just like "oh fuck"
D: "I can't believe he's done this" and it's just so honest and like, cool.
A: But he's got-He's got a look on his face like he's shouting. D: He is mad. Yeah, he's genuinely mad.
D: [old man voice] Aah, Sonic. It's good to have you back.
A: [Amy voice] I'm Amy. [laughs] D: Jeeze
D: [omv] I've been so busy I've not even had time for cucumber sandwiches
D: [omv] That's a callback am I lovable yet? A: oh did he have- did he have it?
A: [unentelligable] D: [omv] So I'll get right to the point. Your destination is Holoska.
A: I had to come all the way here just to fucking have you say that to me? D: [omv] Probably could have e-mailed that to you.
A: [Amy voice] You're such a busy guy, we haven't even had any quality time together. Why won't you ever fuck me?
A: [av] Why won't you fuck me like you used to fuck me? [Sonic's voice] Uh I never fucked you before.
D: [laugh] and the Professor's like, "Why don't you fuck her?" A: [laughter]
A: [av] C'mon man.
A: [sv] We-we've never fucked Amy. I don't know what you're talking about. D: [laughter]
D: Whoa A: [av] But what about that one time?
A: [sv] that wasn't me Amy, I wasn't there. D: [laughter]
A: [av] Well then who was it?
A: Fuckin Shadow the hedgehog
A: [Shadow voice?] Chaos Control!
D: oof A: Alright let's get the fuck out- Central bonfire.
A: I-I really wish we were playing the 360 version we could walk around and talk to these people.
D: [omv] Well what do you know, you got the tablet fragments. A: [omv] eh-hrr
D: [omv] You might be chosen ones after all.
D: [omv] I know I've been saying a lot of silly stuff, and I apologize zip zap dippity-doo. A: [laughter]
D: [omv] That was just a ruse you see. A: [omv] I'm not crazy
D: [omv] you probably thought I was just a doddering old man, but I can put tablet fragments together.
A: [omv] "Here, give 'em to me!" and then he just runs away. D: [laughter]
D: [omv] That Jari-Thure and Sarianna are guardians too,
D: [omv] , but my role is special, don't you know? A: oh, special, huh?
D: [omv] Let's see. Put this like this. There. Your tablet. Bet you didn't think I couldn't do it- could, did-
D: [groan] Just hit A. A: It looks like his beard is like some kind of device that's attached to his face,
A: that he could just like pull off and be like [clunk] "alright anyway"
D: Yeah [laughs] A: "Thank God I'm not wearing that fucking thing anymore"
D: Boy, that is weird, yeah.
D: [omv] Not much we villagers could do about the crazy things going on in the world, but you fellows, you dot dot dot
D: [omv] dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot Huh? What? Where was I would you like some seal blubber?
A: What? Oh, he is crazy. D: Ok he went back to being crazy. -- Yeah, he's...
A: Well at least he put together our tablet or whatever. D: Yeah. Cool.
D: So we got that going for us. A: That's that's an important thing, right?
A: The tablet, and take it to the sacred Shrine and open up the doors
A: And I do the- the levels that I hate and I talk to more people that I hate and then
A: uhm. Just basically go through a bunch of menus I hate and
D: That sounds good A: [strained] and then I go back to my life I hate. mehh
A: I'm just kidding. I love my life.
D: Hey. Ok, so we just got back from, uh
D: First of all, I apologize for how I sound. My allergies are going nuts today
A: Wait, why don't you take any histamines? D: I-sh- I would love to.
A: er, antihistamines. D: We didn't have any in the office.
A: What? D: Yes, I know.
A: Awww D: I know.
A: coulda gotten you some Clary Tin (Claritin) D: [groans]
A: or some Ben a Dryal (Benadryl) D: [nasally voice] Dat would've been delightful
A: or some Nasonex.
D: Okay, cool. Thanks. Thanks for reminding me of all the wonderful substances which would make my life better right now.
A: I'm flossing my toes with the Wiimote cord.
D: Cool. Thanks. Oh shit. Is this a boss? A: What the fuck?
D: Yeah, it's gotta be. A: [mocking] I'm trapped in ice
D: He's light blue and purple, which means enemy.
D: Whoah! A: Oh man, seeing Sonic just made his blood boil. He's like me!
D: Thanks dude, you've been very helpful. A: Yeah, he's really big help.
A: Alright, so we just got back from what? D: Oh, we just got back from touring! And uh
D: we had a great time in Salt Lake City, and A: yeah boi
D: Uhh. Vegas and Arizona and- and then a hometown show in LA
A: yeah D: but, here's the thing about Arizona. When we played Tuscon,
D: great crowd, and uh
D: one of the things I promised, uh, the people of Tucson
D: This guy stood up, and he was like "I really,"
D: "really, want you to read more Sonic fan fiction the next time you play Unleashed" A: Oh shit.
D: And I was like, you know what dude? I'm going to remember it, and I'm gonna shout out Tuscon when it happens.
D: And, uh, That way if the rest of the world is like- A: and the he comments and he's like, "I was at the Vegas show"
D: Yeah, right. No I actually wrote it down, so I wouldn't forget. A: Okay [laughs]
D: But I found myself... a quality Sonic fan fiction.
D: Since we uh- since we read about Sonic, uh A: [quietly] What am I doing here?
D: banging uh, Who was it last time?
A: Tails? D: Nooo
A: Was it Tails? D: It was uhh
A: Was it K-nucks? D: Princess.... not Princess Peach?
A: Princess Toadstool?
D: Who the fuck was it?
D: Who did- who jerks off Sonic and he's like, "Whoah, that's one way to wake up"?
A: [laughs] I think it was Princess Peach! D: Well, maybe it was Princess Peach.
D: okay A: [mocking Sonic voice] Well that's one way to wake up!
D: Well then you better get ready for another
D: Princess Peach A: Hell yes.
D: uhh, Sonic fan fiction. Uhm
D: This is uh A: Just stand there and take it or?
D: This is from "Sonic's Ultimate Harem" by Lil Sonic A: [snickers]
Both: [laughing and snickering]
D: I looked through a lot of them, uh A: [snickering]
D: but this was my absolute favorite. I'm just gonna A: [snickering]
D: I'm just gonna read a couple of random, random pieces A: Yeah. Yeah, please.
D: I'd- First of all there's an author's note at the beginning. This is chapter 50. A: "This is all extra true"
D: Yeah. "Wow, 50 chapters already and now I have like over 30,000 views of this story"
D: "This story has become very very and very popular and everyone is enjoying this story so far"
D: "I would like to thank you all for the major support the views and especially the reviews to this story turning out to be a great success"
D: "knowing how popular this is so far. Anyway. Here's the next chapter you've all been waiting for, enjoy."
D: Ok, so, there's a part where sonic fights Mario A: Wait. We haven't we haven't read part 1 yet!
D: No, dude there's 50 chapters! Like I'm just- I'm just- I'm just getting to the good stuff.
D: Ok A: As far as I'm concerned, the entire story's the good stuff
A: of course D:
D: A: ooo
A: Mario? D: Dude!
A: I'm participating! D: You're right on the wavelength with this offer- with this author.
A: WHAT!? D:
D: This is Sonic talking.
A: This is written like a screenplay? D: Yes
A: Why is there no like Stage Direction or anything?
D: You know what? We're not here to criticize Arin. We're here to celebrate A: Well I'm just curi-
A: I want to- I want to know if sonic like lightly pressed his hedgehog paw D: Listen-
A: On her pink dress D: There's about to be a lot of that.
A: comforting her... soul or whatever D:
A: I guess!? Shit! D:
A: You- you will help you? D:
D: Uhmmm A: Is Sonic like hi-her gay girl- boyfriend?
D: A: Oh shit!
D: A: Oooh my God.
D: A: Oh that's fuckin raunchy.
D: A: Oh my God!
D: A: WHOAH!
D: A: Dude, he told her to get with Mario!
D: A: Oh my God!
A: dude. D:
D: A: Whoah dude!
D: A: 12 MINUTES!?
D: A: God!
D: A: Ohh nice.
A: Wait, what? that's not on model. D: [laughter]
A: What the fuck kind of a Sonic is this? D: Would you just fuckin go with it man? I'm- this is hot.
D: Both: [laughter]
A: Shut up, you're ruining my boner right now! D: You're fuckin killin my chub!
A: Ooo D:
A: The best kind of kiss. D: <Peach-[wheeze]
D: A: What shaft? He has none!
D: Which it's all in bold text.
A: [squeaking] D: [laughter]
D: Back to regular text. A: WHAT PANTS?!
D: [laughter] [wheezing] A: He doesn't wear pants!
D: Would you just let me finish this? A: I'm sorry!
D: This is the best- Shout out to Lil Sonic. You fucking killed this. This is awesome. A: [high pitched] ohhh my god
A: oooo, nice! D:
D: A: Whoooah dude.
A: [snickers] That's a lot of softly goin on.
D: A: [laughter]
D: Don't throw off my rhythm of reading this! A: [laughter]
D: Alright, we're going to cut ahead. We're going to cut ahead.
A: Sonic, I bet the professor has found somewhere new to explore. Oh yeah?
D: Yeah, so has Sonic in this story.
A: A new cave in which to Spelunk D: [laughs]
D: A: Oh my God
D: A: This is how I describe my sexual escapades.
D: [through laughter]<Pe-Peach A: What happened last night? I spent 22 minutes in the doggy position.
D: Listen, just cuz you're not a fuckin great artist
D: doesn't mean you have to- give- it doesn't mean if to criticize others. A: Hey
D: A: oof
D: I'm going to read each of these A: Go for it.
D: A: Jesus Christ!
A: Uh, you would- you would think that because he's so fast, that they would just [stammers]
A: It's been over an hour! D:
D: This is- this will be the last I read of this. Oh wait, okay, sorry, plot.
D: We gotta, we've gotta A: This is much more interesting than what you were you were reading.
D: Are you serious? A: Yeah.
D: How dare you. A: I mean look at this.
A: He-he's saying things and then there's a little robot that says things. I mean all this happening in the story that you were reading was
A: Uhm, Peach and Sonic were fucking D: [laughs]
A: That's waaay less interesting. D: It was incredible. Yeah.
A: Princess Peach
A: of Mario fame
A: And Sonic... this is- this is post Sonic, um, telling her that- that Mario is good for him- her D: Mm-hmm
A: And then she was like thanks for the advice and he was like, "I'll give you some fuckin advice" and then he just fuckin
A: lays her down. D: [sigh] Yeah. That's actually true. That's exactly what happened.
A: Yeah, I'll get some energy conversion circuits warmed up. D: We have energy conversion circuits? Alright
D: Final clearance. Does I mean we're getting towards the end of this game?
A: Well, yeah, I think there's two or three more floating parts of the planet to- D: Really?
A: put back, yeah
D: Sweet A: Yeah, it is pretty sweet isn't it?
A: It's uhm,
A: It's good times, Dan. D: Okay back to what's important.
A: M'kay good. D:
D: A: whooah
D: First of all, um shout out to anyone watching this with their parents. Sorry about this.
D: A: Then Tails said, "whoo it's hot"
D: Wait, what? A: Dude, we're at 16 minutes, we gotta fuckin end the episode!
D: This is the end.
D: Oh Lil Knuckles! Lil Kunckles, that's who wrote this. A: Oh, thank God we could clear that up.
D: Dude, I mean, congrats to Lil Knuckles. Fuckin, you killed it.
A: Yeah, Lil Knuckles, you killed it. D: This is Sonic's Ultimate Harem if you want to read and enjoy.
A: You killed my lack of- D: Cos there's 50 more chapters.
A: Ooh, Ok. That was chapter, what, seven? D: That was chapter fifty, dude.
A: [while sighing] oh my god D: Yeah!
D: Fuckin rock and roll, and that goes out to the people of Tucson, Arizona!
D: You're so welcome. And if anyone else was like "man, that was- I hated that" you can blame Tucson.
A:[snickers] D: Cuz I had nothing to do with it!
A: Oh, did you not? D: Nope.
A: No, not a single thing? D: I merely- dude
D: I'm merely a vessel for God to work his Magic through A: [laughter]
D: [laughter] A: And God is Lil Knuckles
D: Ye- see you later everybody! A: Bye. D: Bye!
[cathode tube shut off and crackle]
D: Oh that was fun. I like helping young artists.
D: Get their work out there A: [laughing]
A: Good exposure you know? D: Yeah man!
D: Fuck yeah, he wrote that shit for people to enjoy it!