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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Always Open: Ep. 64 - Are Escorts Ok? | Rooster Teeth

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Hello welcome to always open on today's show we're gonna be talking about long distance

relationships a confessional and

What you've done to get the attention of someone you've had a crush on I'm your host Barbara Dunkleman and with me today

I got I'm a slut

I'm Tyler


Really good at making an intro here. We are so bad at it. Yeah after this is

60 something episode episode and we're still bad at it

well it means it's your thing now now they have to be battle people like what is this a highly praised show that I'm watching I

Didn't sign up for this. I know if we ever like nail the intro. They'll be like Louis casting want to watch this one

It's professional. Yeah, so your slide your new intro yeah, I'm a dirty slut

Not really, what about you right now?

We never get to hang out this

First time no we met before just with Blaine, and I don't like playing salacious about how much

Exactly. I'm having a little bit of deja vu because I feel like the last time

I don't know if you were there

But the last time the three of us were around each other was like a holiday party not this past one

But one before the masquerade holiday party no one wore a mask yeah

masks for like a photo as a


Girl you do your hair and makeup and like you want to cover it all this also versity

That's so many employees at this point yeah

There are so many of you guys that if you're all wearing masks aren't you like wait a minute. Yeah, there are hundreds of us

But I think I think you were sitting on a couch next to me and then Tyler was here

It was when you spilled that fucking drink on it all over your vagina all

Over me on your fish dress a hundred percent

Just like I full glass of whiskey is that why you called it a fudge ina vagina

Yeah, no I spilt one on you too. I spilt a drink on you that night

And I spilled a drink on you that night. I did not spill

Fucking livid I was so mad at you you cried

It was like an angry cry because like literally he was so drunk, and he had a full glass

And he was sitting right by me, and he was just like haha. He was just like

You know it was the whole drink. He did it intentionally

Was not insane. He was just like sloppy drunk, and I was so mad at him, okay

And I literally like I got up, and I was like

Fuck like I felt so offended for some reason you should I was drunk, too

When I let you all made a good impression on, Ilana

Times of the past

Three is that I've vomited from drinking alcohol have been the past two years the day after the Rooster Teeth Christmas party

Yeah, both times Thank You Maya next day vomiting three for three

Hotties drugging you I'm like what way to do that that would fix it

I think it's because we all like to drink and it's always open bar at our parties. Yeah, that's true

I just like peer pressure from all of us

Well, thank you for being here welcome, I'm so happy

We finally got on the show that was a little bit about who who you are. Yeah. I walk at IGN

I've been in the games industry for seven years now, but I'm also dating blame

Which is how I became part of the Rizzo family. Yep Blaine Gibson


It's fine I get that a lot you're his better half. Thank you

He's a good guy. I do you like playing my good guy. Well. I have known each other

He's probably one of the people I've known here the longest cuz we went to school together

Yeah, really, did I always forget basses together? I got a legit compliment for Blaine

I've met some people in my life. I've met a lot of people no just give you compliments to give to black

Oh, actually yes a lot like quite regularly, I know I know there's you know everybody says everybody's awesome

but like there's only a few people I've ever met my entire life that have a heart of gold and

Blaine is one of those he's a really good guy. It's insane. How good of a guy. He really is

I'm talking about playing he's not here you notice. I didn't say you were one of those people

That I said he's great guy, but it does have a heart of course kidding should probably oh

I think I'm not I don't say he has no

I just say I was trying to say you don't have a heart of gold you're not great of a person

Like silver

You know most of us have that it's shiny yeah

Well let's let's work on getting a lot of drunk again, yeah, let's do our shot

This one's probably the purple Gatorade okay, and it's submitted by Cheryl B

It's got Blue Curacao sour mix grenadine and grape vodka

It's not it. Sounds like it'd be good. It smells nice well Cheers

And to getting drunk it

Doesn't even taste like alcohol. Yeah straight, I'll taste like robitussin. That's a little bit. Yeah sure well

We have more bloody been made extra. Yeah, we don't have Texas here today, so Ben was our stand-in bartender

That's good. You did good Ben

Would be proud he would be very proud all right well. Let's get started with little icebreaker

We haven't done this one in a while probably cuz it's always difficult for us to think of it

I'm already stressing oh no I forgot oh, no I wrote them down because I'm a profession

I definitely overheard a lot on Tyler in the makeup room this morning being like shit

But we're gonna play two lies in the truth, okay?

I could start okay mines mines themed okay this week, and I also wrote them down because I forget very easily

All right first one to these are lies one of them. Is that written okay? I

Sat front row at a men without hats concert

Men without hats the band sounds made-up, do you know that song safety dance? Oh, I'm on board okay?

I convinced my entire class that I was in a men without hats music video

And I had my first kiss to safety danced by men without hats. I like the theme how do you?

Dance, we could dance if we want to oh

No friends of mine okay, I know that song

Okay, so we have to guess which one of those is a

music video

So first get so it's yes at front row at one of their concerts, okay?

Convinced my class that I was in weather music videos okay, and had my first kiss to safety number two that's the truth

I think that's difficult though because the entire class like why don't you take a survey like?

Do you believe me yes or no

I think it's the third one. I think it's fuscus. I'm gonna go first row

Yeah, this was a good job. I convinced my whole class I was in


The only song that anybody knows safety dance mm-hmm. There is a blonde girl in that music video

And also this was like in the 80s that they filmed this so the fact that I was able to convince anyone that was me

Cuz this is like a 25 year old woman

And I convinced him that that was me because she's blonde and she's like dancing around and you kind of see her

And I can miss my whole class that I had filmed in that music video. That's pretty great

That's cool. Yeah. I know this woman

And if you ever see a music video you'll be able to find out why I was able to convince them because she is very

Like fluffy and aloof, but I feel like I was very fluffy and aloof as a high school student or high school

I was in high school. Okay. Still are it's one life. Everything's about you. Thank You Tyler ah

Fluffy to me means fluffy. Yeah like a dog can be fluffy so I was like wait a minute

Very big fluffy here. Yeah, okay, I guess I don't like the word floofy

Yeah, great, would you next gonna go I'm gonna. I'm gonna Pat. You know ladies first. Okay, is that because you're panicking because you haven't

What did you guys have your first kiss?

Remember when it was mine was in a cinema I had braces of time and it was the ending

Credits to this movie that was about this boy band that

Came back and became a boy band again when they were like in the 50s

And they wrote all these songs about menopause, so it was like a comedy

But I don't even remember the name of it. It was some Australian movie, and it was a truly terrible kiss

He didn't close his mouth, so I thought like it was my first boyfriend

I thought for a while that that was a thing that you didn't close your mouth while kissing, so it was just like a

Yeah, okay, it was just open tongue for a while it wasn't great hmm

What was yours Merrill I

We've asked you this before I mean always say you don't remember. How do you I don't work because it probably wasn't that memorable



Did have my very like very very very first Peck was that's what it was okay. My very first Peck was in pre-k

Pre-k Wow this is that even count yeah?

The boy named Robert just like you that's a little like a blonde, I wish I could find him

I think like I think it was like a spin-the-bottle situation

I think that's why I wasn't so much people oh, I was like in pregame

Spin the bottle spin the baby bottle yeah, no, I think it was like a friend's

like my parents friends kids

Okay, when you're young and just like experimenting

Yeah, my first kiss was a at the front of a cruise ship when I was 15 that's cool

Titanic it was

Well I was on a cruise ship, and I was hanging out with D it

Was like the ages 15 to 18 who like got to hang out together?

And there's and I told the story on the podcast before theirs it was a guy named Russell. He was 17

He was from Utah, and he was 6 foot 5 Wow and and he was an amazing kisser

I as little 15 year old Barbara. I got so wet


Wouldn't guess that a guy from Utah. Good kisser. There you go. Yeah woman. I don't know isn't most of Utah like

Wouldn't you say like? What's the population there? That is Mormon isn't it like?


Majority, ya know if it's the whole state or if it's just Salt Lake. I imagine it's not the whole state

Everyone that I've ever met from Utah is either Mormon, or was Mormon Sam actually maybe I'll look him up Mormons fascinating people

If you got read the rule book yeah, they can only play half-court basketball

What is that about?

I have no family my

Parents in law there's like tons of like rules like theirs isn't it just when you're on a mission though

Yeah, it's when you're on a mission trip. It's like a woman can't finish her homework until left after Amanda. There's something

There's like weird things

People will leave comments

Yeah We definitely thinks it happened in my childhood way if I was around my dad's parents that we would have a different set of rules

Like I wasn't allowed to wear a bikini at wear one-piece

So that was like a different version of family rules when we were in front of my dad's pictures

They want super lovely people didn't they come up with

Soaking - yeah. Oh is that where you I'm pretty sure this is your dick

Yeah, well with the sheets it put your dick through that it's like put your dick in the vagina yes

But you just leave it there you just sit you're soaked

Yes, oh this is gonna be a good tie into our confessional. That's good. I like that. That's interesting

I first I want to hear that your two lies in it truth. Huh okay all that Tyler still think

Okay, I've never eaten tuna I

Broke my arm playing softball

And I wanted to be a country singer throwing up


Those are all good always good at this game. I feel always terrible at this game. No cuz like all those to be true

Was first me no I mean every Chitina

Damn it

Third one is what third one country singer

Mm-hmm, I'm gonna say that you broke your arm playing softball all right, then I'm gonna go with tuna

I've never eaten tuna it just have you the fuck out haven't even ever eaten tuna hmm. Even's like sushi

That's what I call bullshit, I cook tuna you never had cooked Unitec maybe maybe

Like if you've got sushi before

I totally haven't had tuna even in sushi though. It's the smell was just like oh

I just fish out of a bag man tuna canned terribly wrong excellent. I love you. No no

I'm not I eat the tuna in the can too, but like I'm saying oh yeah, that's such us right out of it

Okay, so good tuna salad Oh

And explodes

It's good

No, not for you. It's good for you, and there's mercury in it, so you know. It's really good

Is that a thing no that's a real thing isn't mercury terrible boy FDA approved eat all the mercury

I could have sworn that you broke something playing soft. We're quite angle playing softball motherfucker. That's the thing you take the truth

That's what I did all my not like slightly. Yeah. See we're gonna yours is gonna

Be hard for us because we don't know you as well as we know each other. That's true

Mm-hmm shall I go okay when I was eight years old. I was attacked by an emu

Okay, she's Australian. Yeah. I was really and I hear that if you ever go there. You should be

It's amazing that I'm still

Going Tyler, what are you doing? Did you just go in fart no no one look very polite though

Okay, you were second one I made out with a famous

New Zealand uh singer at Kiwi New Zealand it the third one is I have seven and a half tattoos

the half makes because isn't a half tattoo still a tattoo I

Guess if you I don't know unless you only got half, and then we're not complete yeah

All right big buzz off. Let's see I

Know you have tattoos I can only really see like one or two yeah, so I want on your arm earlier

I'm gonna say that you made out with a Kiwi the famous Kiwi singer that one I

hope I don't I don't hope you got a tax I

Suppose, there's a story behind that so that's why I'm gonna go away. Okay. You're all wrong. It's the tattoos one

Oh, yep soda, how does half o at riding on this wrist?

Well, it doesn't even look like anything in yeah, because it's it's just a it works super well

That's your move what I was attacked by a cassowary, which is easier that just has like a big ol horn on its head

They're much scarier frankly


I believe we was staying on a foam at the time

And they just had a bunch of calories that just hung out and fun fact about you news and cassowaries

They make this sound that sounds like bass if you've never heard them before it sounds like they're making just like it sounds like someone's

Pulling music oh my god

and as you get closer to them you'll just like hear the bass increase and it's really weird so you hear this like like I'm

Rubbing kind of noise and it's just like oh no it's closer

It's like some alien shit, and you can just like slowly hear getting closer

but the cast where he basically just found me chased me for a really long time my mom had to like pick me up and

Run and get us into this outhouse and shut the door so that I didn't get fully attack. Oh shit

Terrifying yeah this one with the feet to the kick they can

Get those big old they all have feet. I picture this huge

I picture a huge ostrich with a horn on its head

It looks like a unicorn and then a super bass like slowly like

quietly like nicki minaj nicki minaj like super bass quietly playing in the distance and then


Really want someone to do an edit of that right now there you go like one of those would

Ya, I was in Australia, and I heard a squawk us or it sounds like a little monkeys like yeah, Oh

Like it literally sounds like that. Oh, that would be a kookaburra kookaburra that we're also very cute

They're the ones that are always smiling

Yes, so why is it that everything in Australia is trying to kill you what's not really a thing?

You guys have the deadliest spider you have the deadliest snake yeah

Those are two things, but you see them very rarely

so it's like I've

Never seen any of the most deadly also like I see where you're from like you live in a city

Yeah, like you're not in the outback somewhere

It's the same thing like people on cane are like oh

I'll give you seen polar bears and moose and like all the sudden like I live in a city

I'm not like walking around in the wilderness

It's also just I'm way more scared of guns than I am of animals so being in the u.s.. Is like yeah

these animals you get like kill and

Kill people - Barbara you can't it's true, but you can't kill guns

You can also legally sell camels in Australia what yeah?

there's too many camels in the outback so legally you're allowed to mota camels if you want to I

Haven't seen a single camel in Austria. I know I didn't even know until I found out you could kill them

Maybe that's why you can't I have a have a question

What's what's the beef between Australia and New Zealand

Well, I've asked New Zealanders never asked, and I'll swap of my family's from New Zealand

So I I feel like it's made up okay? Yeah, I don't feel like it's a real thing. I think that accents are very silly

but aside from that I

Feel like we're just it's like a it's just like a sibling relationship

Mm-hmm my favorite is the Today Show that you guys have oh, it's a good show. That's so funny

It's they're just hilarious yeah Australian breakfast shows all morning shows

What's that guy's name? It's call stove. It's Disturb on a bitch yeah

They just get real crazy

And don't really have a filter and like just well making you endows the whole time and just crack up laughing and who?

Hears like it's super professional, and it's great

Did you think of anything nope all right

Move on to our special because I think you'll have something to contribute to this yep

All right, this is submitted by anonymous aka Tyler

I'm a 22 year old guy sure you are um and because I had a very isolated upbringing

I've had zero relationships

And I've never dated in order to get more confidence and learn how to be comfortable about being intimate with someone

I've decided to contact an escort after a law a lot of research and finding the right provider I made an appointment

I was up front about my lack of experience

And that I wanted to learn and she was very understanding and comforting we actually spent a lot of time talking and getting comfortable

But then she moved things along and we went down on each other unfortunately

Since everything was so new even kissing. I was a bit overwhelmed and was basically thumbing in a softie when we tried to have sex

But honestly, I really don't care because I wanted

Some experience being intimate with someone which is exactly what happened overall

I had a really great time, and I'm glad I did it but because of the stigma around sex work

I can't tell anyone in my life about it. What are your thoughts?

First of all I love the term Fleming in a sack yeah

I had to visualize it because I've been in situations where I've had people thumb in a softy

And then you get going a little bit in America. We call him pushing rope

I just feel like you would hurt would it hurt. No. It's just like basically like I want for him

I don't know. I don't idea. No. It's just frustrating

It's just frustrating it's really frustrating. Do you want to be hard you want to be hard yeah?

I don't think women know that like her. I'm sure they do to some extent

Yes, you guys do, but I think guys before it's like clearly there are there like drank too much

Or like are too excited or overwhelmed. Yeah, whiskey dick

Yeah, it's definitely a thing and it's so frustrating me so horny

And you can't and your dick can do shit you slap it around a little bit so wake up

that was the thing that I understand the

Frustration in this because there is such a stigma around sex work. I think it's a really sweet story. Yeah

Yeah, I think it's super sweet, and I don't think this should be a stigma around it

I don't see the problem, man

But especially when it's someone who just wants to experience these things and like eventually feel more comfortable when that does happen for him

Yeah, and there's a way to go about it. That's like safe and healthy yeah

yeah, as long as it is we have it's through a provider and like a

An actual escort service not also not that young though that old. What am I trying to say? I?

Know people who have been older than 22, who haven't lost their virginity

Oh, yes anyone right looks like I hate the best pressure on people at the same time to be like oh

But I'm 22 I have to kiss someone

It's like bull there are loads of people who haven't by that age like it's not as

Big of a deal as everyone makes it out to be fun

you know

I don't you have friends that are like pressuring you and stuff like that would be really get new friends man. Get new friends

That's a good

Thing it's also cool. Yeah


I I get that not being able to tell anyone though and like not being able to like I

Mean, I don't brag about it, but like I mean there's a thing I did even just mentioning it to anybody

Yeah, would be like yeah, there'd be the stigma and people would probably like shame you for it

Or make you feel bad for it in some way, which is kind of unfair

We want to find out

Because I have something going on on Tuesday that relates to this yeah, I do

I did not hire an escort

But I'm trying out something that is very much along the lines of this where it is simple like not a business transaction

but it is simply for one purpose and one purpose to meet up and that is it like with a

Person you know an anonymous person I know yes like no last names. No phone number. We're meeting up at this time

It's fucking crazy. I was gonna call you I always call Mariel or my cousin and be like hey

I'm going to this place with this girl like if I'm not back in three hours, like yeah

So I'm gonna see how it goes this person like this is great like I hate the stigma that comes with this

I'm very much person

There's so many people out there too that enjoy their independence, but need comfort from time to time not all the time

Yeah, some people are just not good at relationships like myself

It's just I'm not I would love to have somebody that a few times a week, maybe just once a week

I could just meet up with talk and have sex with like this guy. Did yeah, it'd be great

It'd be amazing to just get your fill if you're somebody like me who just needs out every once in a while

I would single for two years before I started dating Blaine and the thing I miss the most was just cuddling just spooning yes

I was just like I just wanted can I just call someone and I just thought it cuddling people's dogs. It was great

Like just a hug too. Yeah get a nice warm hug from someone like holding hands with someone

It's like that kind of stuff you really miss yeah, and I think it's really sweet

Also that like obviously this person's getting paid, so they're probably willing to do pretty much anything

But that they're willing to be patient and like

Be cool that this guy had never experienced all this stuff and to kind of like be there and like

Like walk them through it well

I feel like it's like anything right like if you not necessary like a

mentor type of thing but like if you want to learn how to get better

Make up like people will go to classes there a little try and like do things you're gonna like get better at cooking a little

cooking class or whatever you know so

Friends with benefits is such an interesting

Idea to me where it's like just to friends you want to experience that together and have that kind of relationship

As long as both of you understand

The ground rules of it and like what the intentions are yeah, I think it's like totally doable yeah, that's just America

We're so uptight about everything. I think in other places like you go over to Europe. It's really not that big of a deal

Everybody knows and it's not this we are bred in America to be terrified of sex

Whether that be because of religion or anything else pressure societal pressures anything

Yeah, nudity can't do that my god this country took. How many years before a woman could show her ankles

There's still parts of the world where you can't even show your face

We're terrified of it. Yeah, and once you get past that there shouldn't be a stigma

It's just goes because it's seen as being so powerful

Yeah, you can manipulate someone with sex really easily

but that's

It shouldn't be that way and it wouldn't be that way if we didn't treat it like it was the most important thing in society

Thank you well

Essentially what are your thoughts yes? I

Don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as you're being safe. Yeah like obviously I would not recommend

Maybe like finding someone who's like cooking on the corner of a street and go in that direction

Like it was through service high-class. I would say this guy dude DM. Me. I want to tell me about the service

I want to know like give me the hook-up

Well, you're not with that one specifically because you don't want that but like maybe somebody else would be okay

You're gonna have to give us an update after your I am gonna give you not to transact really wishers

Just like a rent a friend but with that

Yeah, there needs to be that I could basic

You know you should get on the grinder how we talked about this if I'm crying I was gay, but isn't it just it's for

Gay people no no, but it is a total. It's just like it's just like a hundred percent

Just like I know people who like have just wanted to meet people of the same sex and it's difficult

I guess on on tinder or other dating apps

so they tried Grindr

And they said like it's hard to find someone who they just wants to meet up and go on a date Wow

because everyone's just there for sex yeah, so I just started a podcast where we read misconnections basically and

So many of them

Misconnections like on Craigslist sweat like someone's like hey

I saw you here all want to meet up with this sweet and sometimes very creepy

I wasn't really sexual

But I've want some interesting shit about Society and the main thing is the amount of listings that are hey happily married with kids

Just looking to suck a dick

And having your dick sucked totally not gay, just let me know you're like okay well

What if you like said that you will buy that's also fine, but they're like and there's so many of them like it straight

Dude here, just want to suck a penis. Let me know if yours is available. It's crazy

I want to know this is still a lady

I imagine so is that Miss connections, or there is another area of Craigslist, that's like it's on Miss connections

There's but there's another but like yeah seeking it's like man for man woman for woman man for woman

Whatever there's all sorts of things that you can find on there

You could could usually find someone to bone on Craigslist animal II Craigslist segment on this show okay

fascinating it is just a minefield and

Terrifying I seem like

I've seen Craigslist posts for people who are like I will suck dick for this concept that I can't get a ticket so yeah

Let me know

Okay, just so many of them from dudes who are like totally straight and not at all gay. This isn't a gay thing

Just let me see you dick not gay

Just two dudes one and hang out

And I was wondering if maybe it's like married guys who will like it's hard for me to have sex with my wife

It's so much easier. If I just have sex with a man. Yeah, they just they're still in love like rocks off

Just want to have sex what's that vine it's like the two guys sitting in a hot tub five feet away cuz they're not gay

Let me see your dick. I want to put your dick in I got that I'm not gay. It's not a gay thing

I shouldn't put your dick in my mouth

Does anyone ever ask to see your undies

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I guess I wouldn't know that because I don't have junk makes up

Good volume, it's like a push-up bra for your dick. There you go. There. You go. Let's put that in there

All right, well the next segment we're gonna get to you as a question from Maya s

I think I'm pronouncing that right my ma Y a Maya

And Maya wants to know what's the weird thing you've done to ever get the attention of someone you have a crush on

So mine is pretty funny. What you do Barbara. I started watching red vs.. Blue to impress a boy really

Yep, because my well. I hadn't heard about the show

Beforehand because my brothers all watched it

And they wash it with their friends in the same room that I would hang out in in my house

So I heard the show before and I was always like very disinterested because I just sounded like

loud stupid jokes and

I was trying to listen to the bathroom boys. It was getting annoying and

There's a guy who I had a crush on who I was talking to you and I saw in one of his like online

Bio things he had a quote from red versus blue that I recognize mm-hmm

And so I messaged I was like do you like red vs.

Blue, and he messages back, and he goes do you like red vs. Blue?

I've never met anyone who's seen that show and it's like yeah. I love it

It's my favorite and like right after that conversation. I went online and I watched everything

The entire series and then started to like it that's crazy so the reason you're here is because I tried to impress a guy

You think he looks back on that and he's like fuck. I shouldn't have said any

Know that I don't know if he does huh? Yeah, I don't know like I don't know if he knows that I

Technically lied about it like I had heard about it, so I guess well you recognize the quote so yeah

It caps I watched that show when it was on Google Video before YouTube was a thing. Oh my god

Yeah, it was back in the day

I think it was like season 1 2 3 yeah

It was like before it was even on YouTube and then it came out on DVD

And I like just lost my mind

And it was like hard to explain to my parents alike so these people play video games and then record them. I was like

It's fine

It's become a very big deal. It's fine

I'm trying to think I

Once kicked a hole in a wall because I dropped kicked a wall before that is impressive Preston what I'm aroused. Yeah, I

Know I was in I think I was like a freshman or in eighth grade

and there was this girl that I had a crush on who was a friend of mine and

They came over to my house, and you know we're just being stupid young teenagers

And I started doing this thing where like I would jump over my my bed, and hit the wall on purpose

I'm like do a weird flip thing. I don't know it was very limber at that age

But then at one point I did it and

Ended up kicking a hole in a wall, and she she loved it. She was Fanny

Just dropped closed off right there and in front of all of our friends lucky lady

You know and we spent the next like 30 minutes panicking. I was crying

Find out I think I think we ended up literally like

Making a really shitty collage with my name and like pasting it on the wall

And you could totally tell there was a hole on like the e of my name right behind it. It didn't take my mom

There's been other things that I'm sure detective still here, what do you doing? What are you doing back there, sorry?

This is my phone is back there. It shouldn't it shouldn't be back there. Just just


Brought my phone. It's a lifeproof. It can't be broken. It's fine, but like I said oh, I throw my phone sometimes when I get

You're talking about a hot lesbian sex continued. Yeah 14, yeah

You were telling the story

Crying after yeah

There was a another girl that I really had a crush on who was like front desk at the Holiday Inn

Oh yeah town, and I found out on like a Thursday night like a school night

She was working like an overnight shift, and I was like

Until her parents are spending that with a friend and then like was miserable

One hour in because it was an overnight shift at the fucking holiday. That's pretty cute done

Yeah, she wasn't into it. So it just really just sucked for me, so it's the keeper just trespassing in a second

Please out of here at one boy. I became a solicitor

Like one room, please

I feel like we've all done really stupid things

So especially his kids to get the attention of someone you have a crush on yeah, definitely when I was young enough

I did show like that like flips

So impressed Laurens minds I'm pretty sure I did something at summer camp with the like

There's a group of guys and whenever there's a group of guys around me

I like always try to do something like as a kid try do something to impress them

did you think like they're all gonna look cuz they're

Like you know dumb guys so I tried to do like a dive into the pool and her belly flopping

May be reacted not very well, it's not great didn't get a single digit out of that. Oh not one

No single digit, although. I was like 13

It's probably the best yeah


Mean, I just I don't know crushes if I ever did anything to impress a crush, but like maybe impress somebody

I'm kind of like with or started dating accounts fucking first date. I painted this girl's house remember that yeah

You also took up a crow you for a second there, and I was like are you doing?

you did a lot of like weird you you you adapt to the

Very senior you you you were that we're gonna. We're gonna expose you right now. I don't give a fuck do it

Adapt to the person that you're dating and which I don't think it's a bad thing

I think a lot of people do that yeah god. We've never had this conversation before I'm not saying it's a bad thing

I'm saying it to I think it's a good quality of yours that you're like oh this person that I'm with

Or like or interested in likes this thing like I'm gonna also get into that core. This is important to this person

It's so you're saying a good thing to me, so I shouldn't be defensive

Yeah, I do though say I recently took care of a girl for a week and a half with tonsillectomy and like she couldn't talk

so I got her groceries and that's very sweet, but

After sleeping with me and then told me she still wanted to sleep with me

We should just not know me as a person, and I painted that girl's house, and then she went to fucking South America

Yeah, wow this is very layered story well

I was like I get that like if she's not into you as a human

Then being like still want to sleep with you. Yeah, if it's that on the table. I feel like that's not totally unreasonable

It's not, but we've been like seeing each other for two months, yeah

Yeah, yes at that point like especially two months into it you're infested exactly. Yeah, people hated her house do ya?

It was a different girl

I painted her house literally our first date as I'm painting her house and moving her in as she was South America

I won't say the name. I'll say that she works at a

Company that sets up a lot of music festivals. Okay, so she had a travel catch, and she was British. Yeah, it was cool

Okay, my girlfriend once went on a date with a guy. Just to get rid of moving boxes

I don't do things for crushes. I just get used by women

Yikes yeah what I really do you have a dumbest thing you've done her. Yeah like what is the dumbest no

No, there's too many. I'm trying to think if I there's too many stories different women. I have I do trash

That's my Bugaboo is weird because like every girl. I've met that you've dated

I've actually liked and then like I find out after the photo I bring those around you don't bring the garbage can to your friends

Just don't bring it as house you take it outside the house. You don't let I show Muriel my trash. It's so bad

Yeah, I know you I know you you can do better. Well. Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship?

I have have you mm-hmm and I know you are obviously yeah well

Let's let's segue into our next question and maybe we could talk about dumb stuff

We've done for a long-distance relationships, this one's from Tony Kaye and your experience

What does it take to make a long-distance relationship work you like you should take that one alright?

I have a really uninteresting answer. I find it very easy like Blaine and I have been distance for two years

We've been distance from the very start, and it works because we're really independent people I'm really busy

I'm traveling all the time. He's super busy all the time so it's like

Just kind of works perfectly like it worked because it started off long-distance like would have been more difficult if you don't

Together and then half before we started dating I already knew my job was so demanding like even going into it

I was like I could not date someone I lived in the same city with because they would hate so I knew that if I

Was gonna have a relationship it would have to be distance because it wouldn't work. I would never got to see them

They'd be pissed at me for being away every weekend

Yeah, so it's like just super easy

But this there's definitely stuff that we do


Like you have to be really good at communicating obviously you have to trust each other that goes without saying we have to be really

Good at communicating because when it started neither of us have done distance before or I think he might have

But I hadn't and it would be like when you're together if you did something that piss the other person off

We wouldn't talk about it because we'd be like we don't have a fight when why not together for very long


but then we would just like bottle it up and get pissed off at each other so now if anything goes wrong if either of

Us like I know each other at all we have to be like hey

This is what you did talking about it 10 minutes later

What good it's like we have to be really like upfront about that because otherwise it can just like make everything really sour I think

But no, I find it easy people always like it's distance hard. I'm like no it's kind of great. It's exciting

Yeah, my surprise plane last weekend. You didn't know that I was gonna be here for the blood you should tell that story

It's super cute really cute

So how many people knew though and I was really panicking could also like this episode's coming out a little later

So it was at this point a couple weeks ago several weeks ago

Early March yeah an undisclosed amount of weeks ago

So I was flying to South by for the ready

Permanently found out like five days beforehand that I was going to be doing that and I was like okay

Well, I can be that that Friday

And I'm pretty sure that that's when the bloodfest premiere is because Blaine's kind of been talking about it

So I messaged like multiple people and was like hey

Can I get into this to just show up and surprise him?

Knowing that I was also coming the week after I decided it was like to show up

So I think I got tickets from will but I ended up asking

I don't know 10 people and had to be like what time is it the time got delayed like where am I going?

I might think ah so is there a meet-and-greet like what is happening because I couldn't ask him any of those questions without it being

like why you asking so much about this, so I just showed up to the premiere and

I was talking to Ezra actually. I'm just like I was really nervous like and I don't get nervous very often

But I was super nervous to like blow the surprise somehow and my concern was that he would see me from across the room before

I saw him and be like hey. What's up, and I'm going. Oh shit. Yeah, so I was waiting in the theater

He walks through the door and then goes up the stairs

it's like kind of behind a wall, so I just walked up behind him and held his hand like I just

Button home and his first reaction was whoa hey, and then he was like oh hey

And then that was a second realization

It was like oh my god like it was the cutest thing ever I don't like all of sudden

He felt like a hand in his hand and he was like this feels familiar

Are you like clearly panicked at first and then was like hey and then was like oh?

Hey, it was it was super cute. It was very happy. It's adorable. It's the first time I've ever surprised anyone and I was

Surprised at one time by a long-distance relationship is actually for my birthday Bernie flew

The person I was seeing from San Diego to Austin

Oh, and it was funny because it was like a week after arc TXO. I had just seen him which is like again

Like you had just seen this burger but

It was at Bernie's place, and I had come around the corner, and I was like surprised and it's like oh my god

And then my boyfriend at the time was there, and it's like hey. Oh my god like my brain

That couldn't register at first that he was there like I'd seen everybody and I was like reacting to them and like being surprised that

It was a surprise party, and then I saw him and I was like


Didn't he do that once or there?

Was I there was like an Instagram post that he made and there was a picture of you?

To where like he said that he I guess you had been turning around facing the other way and he came up to me

He's like hey

Kind of kind of like I knew he was in Seattle packs

And he just like came up to me at like a fan party

We were having and just was like hey, can I take a selfie, so there's like it was really obnoxious

And if it had him in a fan, I would have been like hey that was kind of employ

He just like took the photo, and I was like. I just think you'd seen it, but I like to see him in the reflection

To make a long-distance relationship work, I think both people need to be equally understanding of the other people's the other person's priorities

Yeah, what they have going on and also being equally busy is a huge help

Independent, I think anyone who is very codependent in a relationship

It probably wouldn't work, and it is really hard like if I'm sad and that's the time when I'm like fuck

I wish you were here, and it does make it really difficult

But I think it just some people probably aren't predisposed to having a long relationship

And I feel like it's so much easier now to though like

What you can Skype you can you know you can do all these things yeah?

my parents worked together for four years long distance before they got married and that was like oh damn what like

70s 80s so

70 years ago

Working it

But ya know and it was a time

We're like they have it's really cute though because they have like so many letters that they wrote to each other during that time

Now if we bring it up my dad's like

Yeah, but like yeah

I can imagine because I've dated long distance before and it was it never worked out just because it was like

Like I know this isn't gonna work out and definitely you know

But that's always an interesting thing that I took from them was pretty much the same thing like they were both super busy

They, but they communicated one way or the other. Yeah, yeah

Communication and being independent. I think are like two huge bastard. Yeah, what about you you said you've been in some

Just one it wasn't really like a dating relationship, but it's this girl. I met in Mexico when I was like 13 14

Oh, yeah, just like hit it off. That was some of my first stuff that I've done

Why didn't it work out?

She lived in another state and I both both of us been like you have the money to fight it

So we just stayed in touch for ten years, and we never saw each other in between that time

And then we finally saw each other

Like in year number ten. Holy shit. Yeah, it's great girl. That's cool

Yeah, met up like when saw her home stayed hung out there for a little bit

Wonderful person was like a curator at a museum

He was amazing can't say that said he was but it's a big city. It's big deal. She's super smart anyways

She's like dating. She's very happily with this guy and Colorado and just good friends, but it's like you never know

It's a really good example for never burning bridges

Yeah, just like always the hope that you will meet a person again like you're gonna run into him again it took ten years

But it was totally worth it. I tell you I tell you the story of this super driver

I had one time mm-hm about this like woman. He fell in love with in Hawaii when he was a teenager so

It was I want to make this into a movie

It was I was crying when he was telling me the story in the backseat. I was just like oh my god

I never wanted to leave his car um, but he was like Ryan is like

mid-60s or so

And he was saying that he was getting ready to move to Hawaii

And I was like oh wow like what are you doing out there, and he goes well?

I'm getting married, and I was like well. How did you guys meet?

What is this and he goes well when I was young when I was teenager me and my family moved to Hawaii

And I met this girl

But I was like in the army at the time

So like we had a really intense summer and fell madly in love with each other, but then I had to move away

Lost touch didn't talk ever again. I got married had three kids moved on with my life

And then me and my wife our marriage didn't work out after

33 years of being married we ended that and

Then all of a sudden I remembered this girl in Hawaii that I had fallen in love with and thought I need to contact this


Didn't have any of her information didn't know how to contact her, but he realized that all old people have landlines

So he's like maybe if her mom is still alive. I'll call her mom and leave a message so he found her mom's information

left a message went straight to voicemail and then he said he left his number on the answering machine and

About half an hour later. He gets a text message from an unknown number

And it said be still my heart, and it was that woman in Hawaii who?

Wasn't married never had kids or anything like and like they just started talking and and like fell madly

And so like he like moved back to Hawaii like go be with her that's amazing I was like oh my god you never know

Well isn't that that statistic that you're supposed to like Oh most people will meet the person

They're going to marry before that 20. It's like that happens to a majority of people really mess. Yeah, it's I'm sure that like

Includes a lot of small towns. Why people don't really leave


I mean

It's true for most of my family my parents met when my mom was 18 my brother met

His my oldest brother met his wife when they were 15, maybe see what people mean in college


Me college high school earlier yeah different different time too with the dating apps and social media people have learned

That there's a huge pool. Oh, yeah, yeah, it was a fish. You're gonna get another fish pretty quick

Just kind of messed up

It is but it's the times we live in yeah

My granddad proposed to my grandma on the night that they met it was like a police ball

And he met her and proposed to hunt she was like no you idiot, but then they got married nine months later

And it's like that story wouldn't exist now because you're so aware of like the other fishing

It's like it's the cutest thing and they were married for such a long time

But it's like that now would just be like yeah, but I'm talking to these three bitches on tinder

If you meet someone today, and I meet someone I go to h-e-b

And I meet someone they're like I'm gonna marry him like I'm gonna. Call a fuck yeah

restraining order


Curious how did he know like did he just see her and it was like I mean

I think it's so he passed away a couple years ago

But he hid the story

He would always tell would just be like her eyes were just the best thing that I had ever seen and it's it's so cute

And like up until he passed away

He was still just like they had the most adorable relationship of it, and I just loved it the first night. She was like

Nine months later yeah, that's it there's such a

romanticism about

Period it's a time like that that I think is like just this doesn't exist anymore you know

I think it could exist for some people some people still have those like extremely romantic stories. Yeah, but something like that

It's hot I know it's rare. Yeah, cuz if that happened to me. I'd be like who the fuck are you

You're like oh, thank you my beautiful

All right well before we move on to our box of issues

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Open it up Tyler just

Yeah, he does that it's coming back cook bring it back. It's bring it about all right well

Let's finish things up with our box. Of issues. I'm busing this one out again. Well the mailbox the mailboxes really see you

It's so cute. We have we stole the picture up here

Oh, yes our lovely mother and son on the the other side of Alana's head right there so cute, so I'm gonna go like this

Shink oh, I guess I'll take it out fruit

There's like little magnets there oh cool

for this backup engineering rockets

Alright, let's see what this what's wrong

alright, this one's from Ben C and

It starts with is it possible for a guy to be too nice in a relationship

recently single but in my past relationships

I haven't dared to say no for the vast majority of things as I don't want to upset my significant others. I'm a very easygoing

Generous person as it is but it's heightened when it comes to a significant other

But I'm now wondering if I've been too nice my lack of saying no is something

I've been aware for a while, but I'm conflicted between

Saying no. Just to avoid being too nice and being true to myself and being easygoing

So he's not saying that he agrees to everything because he wants to he's just like

Don't he just doesn't care right I understand that mentality

Because I'm kind of like that when it comes to a lot of things a relationship where I'm just happy to be with that person

So if they're like what do you do you want to go here you want to go there and like okay?

I do that too, and I don't think that's necessarily

Nice, yeah

Like I think you can be too nice like if someone's like too flattering and you and you become a pushover and you're not saying

No, because you like don't want to be yourself

I think that is a problem like if you don't want to do something, but you like yeah, of course

And then you hate it. It's like I think that is bad, but if you're just an easygoing person

That's just like you being you and that's fine

Yeah, yeah

There's a difference between yeah between like just trying to be nice trying to please someone and just being like I don't care either way

Yeah, I think at the same point at like saying that you don't care and just going with the flow sometimes


frustrates people it could be frustrating you know and so just make a decision just like

He looks like the dinner meme of like know. What do you eat right you Andy?

Yeah, like a total or what do you want to do today? It's like I'm cool doing anything

So, I don't know I mean I can see how people

Like I had a friend who dated someone for a while and when they broke up

You know I was like well. What's going on, and she was like well

She we just never had any spark or any conflict, and it was like what I mean. She's like oh well

She was too nice like it was just everything was too. Good all the time

I was like what the fuck does that mean oh that seems insane

Ya know, that's exactly the thing you know it's like. What do you mean? She's like well there?

Just wasn't like any passion for anything because everything was always so good all the time

I can't help it on this one so yeah. I've had people criticize me

In my first relationship my sixth year one

I had mentioned to people that he and I never argued we never had any arguments

We got along great like we disagreed on some stuff

But we never like fought or got angry with each other and they're like oh that means

There's no passion in your relationship

And that's like just plenty of fucking passion like I love each other our relationships very intense. We just agree on the other things

But the person was like no like when you don't fight. It's an indication of no passion right yeah, no, that's the shitty yeah

I don't either

So I mean I think it is possible to be too nice only if you're doing it for

Like just trying to please the other person constantly instead of also making decisions for yourself if you're not being yourself

I think it's a problem, and I think that people can detect if you're being fake

And it can be frustrating so I do think that that's an issue

But I think if you're just like an easygoing person you shouldn't change and reverse because you're worried about being too easygoing either

Just say no everything. Yeah, you want to go to dinner no, but why?

What you think I think the ladies nailed it

I thank you guys you covered all the bases have you ever had this issue of trying to be too nice or too easygoing

Yeah, I'm not for being too nice

Girls like a little bad boy. It's just like did they like a little aggressive like do what else you like

That's not very nice all right you need to be too nice

This article once so just made me think of that

It's like if a woman is like vacuuming or doing more housework. It. Probably means that she's ovulating

Like my own specific website and so coded all the time and the ending line is like and if this is happening

Maybe you should tell her because women love it when you teach them things especially about themselves

Most cringy like figured I've ever read

I've read the Cosmo things before we're like you know it's like put a doughnut on his dick while you're gonna win and

Suggestions, and then absolutely that's yeah

Blindfold its eyes, and then also tie his balls up with a little ribbon and then also put ice in your mouth

And then a free hot on day guess and bust out a grapefruit rub. Is dead. Oh, yeah obviously that one

Yeah, don't change. Don't change yourself if that's who you are then

That's who you are and like

you know I would say just be yourself like don't try to be too nice or to me and just

make decisions obviously you want to make each other happy in relationship and like sometimes that involves compromise and

Maybe like every now and then sacrificing what you want to do for what someone else wants to do, right?

But like being like people want to be with someone who loves them and treats them well yeah, that's something

I think everybody wants and like no one wants to be with someone who treats them like shit or like he puts them down

To me yeah

He didn't say no to my ideas enough

that doesn't make sure so some people do this some people are like that though some people like want the conflict and they want the

fighting which what always leads to good sex, but like

Yeah, the two nice thing. I remember specifically one time I was too nice

Yeah, I was in a car on the way home from downtown and a favorite song of mine came on the radio

And I turned it up a little bit, and she said I don't want to listen to that right now

and I let her change it I was curious I

Was so fucking upset

It was just a Bob Schneider song it was its honeypot

It was the summertime a good song fucking listened to and she fucking I was like what is the big deal?

We're almost two minutes. The kid not just listen to the fucking song she didn't let me do it

That was me being too nice. I should have been like no fuck you. I'm gonna listen to the song

Oh, but also being too nice in this situation probably avoided conflict. It did yeah bored. Yeah, so

Fuck that night because you didn't get this listen to whatever it was one of those things

Where she just changed it to another station she didn't have a particular song she wouldn't let us listen to she just changed the fucking


I just wanted to listen to a song

She didn't want me to be happy

Fucking bitch god. I'm really very over this

I don't even care about the other shit the relationship that night

Specifically we bring you on every week Tyler's rant session now now

I'm gonna like god damn Laura wants to listen to Harry Potter in the car

I'm gonna have to think twice about asking her to turn it down. No you should

I just listened to an audiobook. You know sometimes you just don't want to listen to honeypot

Purposely being mean there's a whisper about it though like if you're like oh

I don't really feel like listening to this right now. Do you mind like turning it down

Also, it's just a song in a car

There's a there's still a way to go about it that she should have gone

Fuckin song

See it's funny because I was like oh you avoided probably having a fight

But now it's all bubbling to the surface right now. I hold shit in for you. Don't do that

Do you

Hear that song now, I usually break shit. I can't listen to it now makes me so fucking mad

Can we play it on the Astros?

Oh any final words for Betsy about being too nice you know, but if you're being true to yourself

And if you're being who you want to be and who you say you are then like just go with it

Do you bro?

My final note is like the guys that I've seen who have referred to themselves as nice often want actually nice

They were just possessive and mistook that for nice

So that's like that why it is always like kind of weird to me and that people who were like

But I was so nice

I'm like no

No You texted me


If you didn't know where I was and you thought that that was nice because it was like you kid whereas to me

It was just aggressive and weird he doesn't seem like he's doing that but the word nice is like

What do you mean by nice? It seems like he just yes. He's too easygoing which is fine. Yeah

Be chill chill is good. Nes intense. It's just maybe if the person's not okay with it. They're not the right person for you


You know what you'd listen to whatever song you want

Yeah, Ben whatever song is in the car you you won't listen to you get to listen to it including

honeypot or whatever the fuck you said


Well, thanks Ben see if you have a question press on always and you can email us always open at roosterteeth calm

And we'll do our best to give you our

Expertise on whatever subject material that you're sending us, which we don't have a lot like changing songs and cause we've got you yeah

These don't actually take our advice anywhere. Just listen to it. Take it in just from your own opinion

Yeah, because take it with a grain of salt

I pointed to the salt, but it was at a fresh

Alright, well. Thank you guys so much for joining. I honestly Alana. Thank you. It's been fun being here chose my drugs completely empty

That's okay

The Description of Always Open: Ep. 64 - Are Escorts Ok? | Rooster Teeth