You know, I get that I'm wearin'
the outfit, but, nigga, I can't fight.
Chill! These fuckin' underwears
don't give me superpowers, honey.
The other day, I was in the shower,
she went to the store and she didn't lock the fuckin' door.
That's how I know she thinks I can handle everything.
That's crazy... to leave a woman
in the shower, titties soaped up.
Get what I'm saying? I'm in the shower, my titties are soapy.
I got soapy titties in this shower.
And my shit's perky. They sit...
I pop these shits out the bra, they only go to here. They good.
These is good titties.
Not a lot of wear and tear 'cause I don't take a lot of dick,
so they not bouncin' around.
Solid titties. You understand what I'm sayin'?
Up here. On point.
So I get out the shower, I check the door,
the shit is unlocked. I was livid!
Livid. I was like, "Yo, that's fucked up.
How dare you don't lock the door."
She was like, "How did you even know it was unlocked?"
Like, "Bitch, 'cause I'm a bitch, and I checked.
I'm petty, bitch. What are you talkin' about?
The first thing I did, hit that lock, see what you was on.
And figured out you on bullshit!"
She was like, "I don't get the big deal."
I was like, "The big deal is whenever you're in the house
and I leave the house, I lock up the house,
'cause that's the rules of pussy.
Pussy in the house, lock it up.
Everybody know that. Everyone's been taught that.
Pussy inside, lock the pussy inside.
You don't leave it loose, willy-nilly,
for anything to fuckin' happen!"
She left me ass-naked in the shower as if
the rapist was gonna come in and be like,
"Nah, she got a fade. I ain't gonna do it."
"What I don't do is take fade pussy. That's off the menu.
I take all types of ass, but not the one that's faded."
The other night, we were in bed, we both heard somethin'.
I said, "Babe, did you hear that?" She's like, "Yeah, go check."
"Bitch, why me?
If there's a whole nigga in here, we both need to go check.
It's gonna take two of us to get him the fuck outta here.
What are you talkin' about?
We both might end up suckin' this
dude's dick at the end of the day.
And, bitch, you're on the balls, 'cause I pay the rent."
"I'm not suckin' balls and payin' rent, baby girl.
I'm all tip then shaft. Them balls are yours."
Then we gotta have that goofy shit over cereal.
"We did what we had to do."