Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Schooled!

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- Crashing through the crowded halls

Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls

Just to reach the bathroom on time

Leaping over laundry piles

Diapers you can smell for miles

Guy's got to do what he can to survive

- In the Loud house

In the Loud house

- Duck, dodge, push, and shove

Is how we show our love

- In the Loud house, in the Loud house

- One boy and ten girls

Wouldn't trade it for the world

- Loud Loud Loud

Loud house

- Poo-poo.

[birds chirping]

- Wear lucky underwear. Check.

Wear new jeans. Check.

Put on best polo.

Check.

Things are pretty crazy

around the Loud house this morning.

[car horn honks]

[indistinct chatter]

[beast roars]

[laser zaps]

- [yells] [groans]

- It's the first day of school,

and there are a lot of changes this year.

For starters, Lori's leaving for college!

- [grunting]

[yelping]

- Lori, I need help.

Dress or jumpsuit? Dress or jumpsuit?

- They're both cute, Leni,

but maybe you can start choosing

on your own from now on.

[grunts] I'm not going to be around to--

[yelping]

[cat yowls]

- And Lily's starting preschool,

which means she had to be potty trained.

That's great, 'cause, you know, no more dirty diapers.

But it's also not,

because that's one more sister hogging the bathroom.

- I gotta tinkle! - My turn!

[door knob rattling]

[toilet flushing]

[all grunting]

- Man with a plan.

[grunting continues]

[all yelp]

I saved the biggest news for last.

This is my first day of middle school.

Flawless hair. Check.

Most kids would be nervous, but not this guy.

- I gotta tinkle! - Come on!

- I made customized checklists for my friends and me.

So nothing can go wrong.

[indistinct chatter] - [yells]

If I make it out of here alive.

[all yelling]

- Whoa. What's all this?

- Oh, this?

Well, I just wanted breakfast to be extra special

since, you know--

[sobbing] Everyone's growing up

and moving on.

- I know, honey.

But we promised we would hold it together for the kids.

- Kids! Breakfast--

breakfast is--I can't do it! I can't do it.

- I got this. Kids, breakfast!

- [grunts]

[clamoring]

[whistle blasts]

- What's with the confounded whistle?

- I'm just getting some practice in.

Principal Ramirez made me hall monitor this year,

and I will not let her down.

I was born to carry this badge.

Ah! Loud, that's strike two.

- [chuckles] [blows raspberry]

- [growls] - Ah!

- [grunts] - You're not on duty yet.

Now everybody in for breakfast.

[angelic music]

all: Whoa. - Ah!

[all chomping]

Oh, no, you don't.

Your dad worked all morning

on a special family meal,

and we are going to enjoy it together.

Do you want to break that man's heart?

- It's fine, I'll just clear these and do the dishes.

- Or can you spare a minute?

- [chomps]

[all chomping]

- 59...and 60.

It's been a minute.

- [sighs] Those kids.

- I know.

Sometimes they can be--

- So ding-dang thoughtful!

[sobbing]

- [grunting]

[sighs]

Guess it's time to say goodbye.

Aww, guys.

Bring it in for a--

[indistinct chatter]

- Okay, guys. Come on.

Your big sister needs to get on the road.

- And this isn't goodbye.

It's just "see ya later."

Well, champ. Put her there.

[car door opens, engine revs]

[brakes squeal] - Bye.

[thud]

- Honey, let go.

- Don't go! Don't go!

- Lori, what about this pantsuit?

I can't go to school until you tell me what to wear.

[bus horn honks]

[upbeat music]

- Okay, everybody. Up top.

First middle school high five. Check.

Who's ready to rock day one?

[all groan nervously]

- I know I am.

Grew this sweet new 'stache over the summer.

So I'm golden.

- Okay, A, I'd hardly call that a 'stache.

And B, why can't you just admit you're nervous

like the rest of us?

- Guys, there's nothing to be nervous about,

especially since we'll all be together

in Mrs. Salter's class,

which Lynn said rules.

- But Lincoln, we're gonna get eaten alive!

We're not big fish anymore.

- Everybody calm down.

I'm telling you.

[harmonica plays note] [coughs]

As long as we're together, we'll be fine.

[upbeat music]

This is it, middle school

And we'll make this day look easy

- But we're not lit - We're not cool

- And my stomach's really queasy

- I don't think I can go through with it

- Just take a deep breath and get a grip

Our strategy is tight

Our game is strong

We got this

We got this

We'll get through it all together

We got this

We got this

We're invincible

We're a team

We're a troop

We're the best forever friend group

I've got your back

I know that you've got mine

Trust me, we'll be fine

- Feeling impending doom

- Getting shoved inside a locker

- I can't find my classroom

- And this machine just ate my dollar

- I miss pizza day already

- But look at this delish mystery spaghetti

We can rule these hallways side by side

Trust me, we'll be fine

all: We got this, we got this

- Trust me, we'll be fine

all: We got this, we got this

- Trust me, we'll be fine

[bell rings]

- Whoa! - [gasps]

- Wow. - Ooh.

- Hey, guys. I'm Mrs. Salter.

Okay, so here's the lowdown.

Juice bar in the back. Help yourself.

Also there are cards on the desks with your names on 'em.

"Rip Hardcore" themed. I love the show.

And he is a personal friend of mine.

- Whoa! - [gasps]

- Cool. - See?

I told you guys there's nothing to worry about.

Um, Mrs. Salter?

I can't find my desk. My name's Lincoln Loud.

- Oh. Okay.

Here you are. Looks like you're...

in Mr. Bolhofner's class.

- [gasps] [dramatic sting]

No, that can't be right!

I know I requested this class.

- For the love of sponge cake,

say you turned in the form.

Say it! - I did.

See? There's a checkmark.

[ominous music]

- [sniffing] [licking]

That's not a check. That's a Flippee stain!

- [moans] [grunts]

- Mrs. Salter, can't he stay?

I mean, he's already here. Please!

- Yeah, we have to stick together.

- Yeah, we just sang a dang song about it.

- Oh, I am so sorry, guys, but we're full.

Lincoln's gonna have to report to Mr. Bolhofner's class.

- Where's that? [thud]

The trailer?

- Here's a juice for the road.

It's quite a hike.

- [moans]

[birds chirping]

- Any behavioral issues like biting?

- Only during full moons.

[howls]

[both laughing]

That's a werewolf joke.

- Potty trained? - Have been for 42 years.

[chuckles] - Lynn, stop.

Yes. [chuckles]

Lily is potty trained.

- Perfect. I think we're set.

I'll go ahead and take Ms. Lily now.

- Well, champ, put her there.

- Wow, honey.

You handled that surprisingly--

- [sobbing]

They're all leaving us!

[birds chirping]

- This is what alone feels like?

- What are we gonna do with no kids around?

- Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! - Whoo!

[both laughing]

- I got you. - I got you.

[grunts] [crashes]

[playing hard rock music] - [vocalizing]

[birds chirping]

- Boo-Boo Bear, I'm finally here.

Look. It's my floor.

[squeals] [laughs]

all: Shh.

- But I was just--

[whispering] Quiet floor.

Silence at all times.

[gulps]

[talking] I'll literally never survive.

all: Shh.

- [panting]

[whistle blows] - Ah!

- No speeding.

- Come on, Lynn.

This is the worst day of my life.

And I have to make it all the way to Bolhofner's room.

- The Hof? Oh, boy.

Stinks to be you. All right.

I shouldn't be doing this, but climb on.

This is a one-time-only escort.

- [yelps] [rock music]

[siren wailing]

[grunts]

[moans] - Good luck in there, bro.

The Hof keeps his room scorching hot.

Oh, and watch out for his breath.

Sardines with a hint of red onions and farts.

[ominous music] [siren wailing]

[all moaning, sighing]

- Hm? - [laughing]

Hmm, I wondered where I left my pudding cup.

Thanks for finding it for me, Lincoln Lame.

- Ugh. Chandler.

[nails grinding on chalkboard]

- Okay, listen up. The name's Bolhofner.

I didn't spend 15 years in the military

followed by two months stranded inside an active volcano,

surviving on lizards and pumice stone,

to be pushed around by a bunch of chuckleheads.

- Mmm. - I could get used to this.

[phone ringing]

- It's Lily's preschool. Hello?

- [indistinct] - What?

I could have sworn she was potty trained.

How did we miss this? - [laughing]

- I don't know.

But now that we've had that sweet taste of alone time,

I need more. I need more, Rita!

- Then it's settled.

It's potty training time, take two.

- [farts] [laughs]

[indistinct chatter]

- Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late.

It's a really long walk from Mr. Bolhofner's.

[bell ringing] - Sorry, that's class.

- See you later, buddy. - Hang in there, buddy!

- Sorry, bro.

I'm gonna have to write you up

for loitering in a no-stopping zone.

- [groans]

- [squeals, yelps] all: Shh.

- [sighs, yelps] all: Shh.

- [slurping, yelps] all: Shh.

- Come on. Pick up, pick up.

Leni, you won't believe-- wait.

Why are you still in your bathrobe?

Didn't school start, like, five hours ago?

- Well, yeah. But I couldn't go.

You never said what to wear.

Now how about this fit and flare dress?

- [sobbing]

- O-M-gosh. Is the dress that bad?

- No! I'm stuck on the quiet floor,

and everyone hates me.

all: Shh.

- [yelling] I'm trying, okay?

[crying]

- [grunts] [growls]

[grunts] Dang it, Chandler.

Stop kicking-- - Oh.

A talker, huh?

Well, Mr. Blabberlips,

you'll be spending your lunch with me.

[ominous music]

both: I have to get out of here.

[bus horn honks]

- Make way for the law, chumps.

[all grunting]

- So what's the plan, Lincoln?

We need you in our class.

Without you, everything's thrown off.

- Yeah.

You should have seen us try

to paper mch a group project yesterday.

[all grunting]

- Man with a plan.

I'm just gonna ask Principal Ramirez

to switch me into your class.

- Yeah, I don't know.

You reckon she'll go for that?

- Guys, please. I'm great at convincing.

- Well, if you need any assistance, let me know.

I could pretend to be your dad or an attorney.

Since I look like I'm 30 now, you know?

- [sighs]

Well, I still don't know what to wear,

but I guess I'll just have to chance it.

[all giggling]

- Is this seat taken?

- [squeals]

- I'll take that as a no.

So are you new to our school?

I don't remember seeing you around.

- [squeals]

[babies giggling]

- If all goes to plan,

I'll be in your class by the end of the day.

[bell ringing] - Run, dude.

You're gonna be late!

- Here's a juice for the road.

[grunts]

- Thanks, Clyde. [grunts]

- No throwing juice in the halls.

- Lynn, I have to get to class.

Can you give me another escort?

- [imitates buzzer] Negative.

You only get one freebie.

You're doing some time, Stinkin'.

[both grunt]

- This isn't even my locker.

- This isn't even my juice,

but you don't see me complaining.

[slurping]

- Late on day two, Loud?

That's another lunch you'll be spending

with me and my tuna casserole.

- But Mr. Bolhofner,

my sister Lynn stuffed me in a locker!

I had to jerry-rig a paper clip to get out.

- I don't want excuses.

- So there's probably no chance

I could go talk to the principal?

- No!

And just for asking,

that's a whole week

with me and my leftovers.

- [sighs]

[desk rumbling] - [yelps]

[grunts] - [snickering]

- [groans]

- Come on, Lily!

Just get on the ding-dang-darn seat, dang it.

Come on. I--I'll give you this cookie.

- [sighs]

- Come on. We'll give you the cookie.

It'll be so good. All you have to do is pee.

- Don't be scared.

That's it, Lily. Now--

[grunts] - Now, Lily,

throwing cookies is not-- [grunts]

- [laughing]

[both sigh]

- Lily, using the potty's easy.

Watch how daddy does it. Oh.

Oh, great, great. - [yelps]

- Now I'm stuck. Rita, help!

[both grunting]

- [laughing]

[both groan]

- Thanks for helping me move, Boo-Boo Bear.

- No prob, babe.

But I do need to get back to the mercado soon.

Sergio molted in all of the produce.

[coughs]

[elevator dings]

- Welcome to the driving range floor.

- Four! [both yell]

[both yelp]

- Here, babe. You're gonna need this.

[yells] - [yelps]

- Sea cucumbers vomit their stomachs and intestines

as a means of tangling up predators.

- Ugh. [grunting]

[groans] - Hey!

Don't scratch that desk, Loud.

It's on loan from the kindergarten.

- Sorry. It's just a little small.

- Instead of complaining, you should be thanking me.

You get to sit by Hank,

our beloved class pet.

- [chomps] - [yells]

[intriguing music]

Hmm.

Excuse me, Mr. Bolhofner?

I'm not feeling well. [coughs]

- If you're not bleeding, then you'll survive

till the end of the day.

- [growls]

- [groans]

- [chomps] - Ow!

Mr. Bolhofner, Hank just bit me.

Can I go to the nurse now?

- [growls]

Fine. But give Hank his tooth back.

- [groans]

- [chomps]

[energetic music]

- [panting]

[whistle blows] [grunts]

- Stop! You're going five in a three.

- Lynn, come on.

I just need to talk to the principal.

I've got important business.

- No one's above the law, Stinkin'.

I took an oath. - Fine.

Can I just get a drink first?

You always say hydration is important.

- Yeah, I do say that.

Okay. One drink.

- [slurping]

[spits]

- [gasps]

[grunting]

- [yelling]

- [grunting]

Where'd he go?

- Phew.

[whistle blasts]

- Oh, I've got a real bad feeling

down deep in my bones.

- Me too.

Middle school gym class

is no grade school gym class.

Please be yoga. Please be yoga.

[whistle blows] - Okay, kids.

Who's ready to dodge some balls?

[ball pops]

- My every nightmare is about to come true.

- Nobody panic.

Initiate scorpion formation.

[all grunt]

- Huh?

- [grunts]

[all grunt]

- What happened?

We just got our rumps handed to us.

- Without Lincoln, the formation's off.

Our flank is exposed.

- [growling]

Every man for himself!

[grunts]

[grunting]

[dramatic sting]

- And that's how he got

his name "Honeysuckle Clams."

[chuckling] Oh, to be continued.

- Excuse me.

Can I please talk to the principal?

Cheryl?

- Oh, no, sugar.

I'm Meryl, Cheryl's sister.

And I'm sorry, but Principal Ramirez

is busier than a beehive in a bouquet of baby's breath.

Let me see when she's free, though.

Can you do Christmas? Of next year?

- [sighs]

[bell ringing]

- Oopsie doodle. That's lunch.

- Meatloaf again? Ugh.

Meryl, did I not stress to the lunch staff

not to serve meatloaf on Tuesdays?

That's what I make for dinner.

I can't have it twice.

- Hmm. [gasps]

[intriguing music]

- [grunts] What's this?

"Tired of the same old lunch?

"Come on down to Lynn's Table.

Bring this flier for a free appetizer."

Hmm.

Meryl, I am going off campus for lunch!

- Meryl, what's it gonna take

for me to get an off-campus lunch pass?

- Hmm.

You just answer me one question.

Who do you think's older? Me or--

- Cheryl.

- You enjoy your lunch, sugar snap.

[upbeat music]

[all groan]

- What did you guys bring to trade?

- Who wants my grilled cheese?

- I guess no one, but I do want your apples and peanut butter.

- That's off limits.

Unless Clyde gives up a cupcake.

- I never trade my cupcakes.

Unless Lincoln brings his mac and cheese bites.

- Oh, no.

Without Lincoln, the trade formula is off too.

- Doggone it!

We need that feller back.

[all groan]

- Ten bucks to anyone who'll bend down and get my fork.

- Not worth it.

[slurping]

[birds chirping]

- [humming] [gasps]

Oh, hey, Principal Ramirez.

Didn't know you ate here.

I'm Lincoln Loud, one of your new students.

And my dad happens to own this restaurant.

Complimentary potato skin?

- [gasps] Those are my favorites.

Well, my second favorite aside from--

- Jalapeo poppers?

I did some research in case you came by.

While I've got you-- [tray crashes]

There are actually a few things

I need to talk to you about.

[celebratory big band music]

Presenting "876 Reasons

Why I Shouldn't Be in Mr. Bolhofner's Class."

Number one.

Unsafe working environment

due to a high chance of being bit by a piranha.

Number 34.

My desk is really doing a number on my back.

Number 287.

My fellow students don't seem to take education

as seriously as I do.

Number 765.

The sweltering temperature is hindering my ability to learn.

So what do you think?

- Hmm. I say yes!

- Yes!

- These are the best poppers in town.

Mm!

- No, I mean about me switching classes.

- Oh, I--I can't help you with that.

There's just no room in Mrs. Salter's class.

I'm sorry. Mmm!

But these are great.

I'll take another round. - [sighs]

- Lily, we are putting you on the potty,

and that's final.

- [laughing]

- You--go, honey. [both panting]

- [squeals]

- [yelps] [both grunt]

- Ah!

- [laughing]

- Okay--g--go that way! We'll corner her.

Gah! Dah!

She went in the doggy door.

[grunting] [groans]

Now it's locked.

- The front door is locked too.

What do we do now?

- Well, I guess there's always the chimney.

- Dibs not.

- [groans]

- [breathes sharply]

Stop! [grunting]

[phone dialing]

Boo-Boo Bear, I wanna move to another floor.

- I'm turning around right now. [tires screeching]

- Mm.

[indistinct baby chatter]

- Oh. I don't know.

[sighs] Oh.

Does this work?

- Pretty! - [gasps]

Thank you. I love your romper.

Totes cute color. - [laughing]

- You wanna sit together at lunch?

- [giggling]

[all groaning]

- Will Lincoln Loud please report

to the principal's office?

all: Ooh.

- Oh, what now?

- Lincoln... - [gulps]

- I actually have some good news.

You've proven yourself to be a pretty determined kid.

So I pulled some strings,

and I found a way to get you what you want.

- Oh, thank you, thank you!

My friends are going to be so happy.

- You'll be challenged in a cooler classroom,

et cetera, et cetera.

- You've just earned free poppers for life,

Principal Ramirez.

- Because you'll be attending a new school!

It's just across the river.

- Wait. What?

A new school? - Yeah.

It wasn't easy, but I was able to enroll you

since I know the principal there.

He owes me a favor. - But--but--

- I cashed it in, so this better be worth it, Loud.

And by the way, it's in Canada!

["O Canada" playing] - [squeals]

Canada?

[bell ringing]

[indistinct chatter]

- I'm glad you're all sitting down,

'cause I have terrible news.

Wait, why are you guys sitting like that?

- We couldn't figure out the bus seating arrangement

without you, so we crammed into one.

- [groaning]

What's your terrible news?

- I know it sounds crazy,

but my plan to get into your class failed,

and now I'm being transferred to a school in Canada.

- Canada? - That's possible?

- Seriously, dawg?

- Dr. Lopez, I need to schedule

an emergency appointment this afternoon.

- [indistinct]

- Well, cancel your massage!

- But we were already falling to pieces

with you in Bolhofner's.

How we gonna survive if you're in a different country?

We'll be like a prickle of porcupines

missing our head 'pine.

Trust me, y'all. That's bad.

- Can't you just say

you're allergic to Canada or something?

- I wish.

Principal Ramirez pulled a lot of strings

to get me into that school.

I kinda have no choice but to make the best of it.

[all groan]

At least we'll see each other

at the weekly game night tomorrow.

- Can somebody else bring dessert?

I can't cook. I'm a wreck!

[dramatic music]

- [snoring]

[alarm clock beeps] - [grunts]

- Rise and shine, Linc.

It's 4:00 a.m. [cowbell ringing]

You don't wanna be late for your first day

at your new school.

- Dad, I can't. It's too early.

- Yes, you Can-ada.

- [yawns]

[upbeat music]

[yells] [tires screeching]

[fog horn blares] [gasps]

- Good luck, kiddo. Wait.

Your passport and your breakfast!

Whoa-whoa!

["O Canada" playing]

- Eh, girl

If I could, eh, girl

[high-pitched] Eh, girl

Welcome to Canada.

Here's your complimentary snow suit and toque.

- Whoa.

- You're gonna wanna put those on.

- Thanks, but I'm all set.

[yelling] - Don't worry!

You're gonna love it here.

[wind blowing]

Welcome to Canada.

It's a treat this time of year

So go on, mount your moose for your commute

That's how we get around 'round here

Try the ketchup chips. Just costs a loonie!

Don't resist.

The Chinook winds are very

Very extraordinary-nary

So if you love

Mounties, gravy, bags of milk

A minus 50 morning chill - [grunting]

- We've got it, boys

So come and seize the day

Go and break the ice

And make a life north of the USA

Welcome to Canada

You're in Canada

The hottest day is ten below

Your snot will freeze, don't blow your nose

In Canada - Canada

- You're in Canada

Come try the best poutine around

Watch hockey pucks grow from the ground

- [gasps]

- We've got the most maple syrup per capita

Welcome to Canada

Skate up to Saskatchewan

You'll never see the sun

The beavers and the lumberjacks

Both look the same to everyone

I think we've got a baseball team

But no one really knows

It's impossible to tell

Under the 20 feet of snow - [gasps]

- The 30 feet of snow

The 40 feet, the 50 feet

Oh no, oh no, oh no

Welcome home

To Canada

It's Canada!

It's C-A-N-A-D-A, eh, eh Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

Yay! - [grunting]

Huh? [acoustic music]

- Well, Lincoln, I think you'll be

very happy here at Mapleton.

[arrow snaps] - Whoa!

- Eh, you'll get used to that.

Anyway, did Principal Ramirez ever tell you

about the time she saved my life?

There I was, choking on a beavertail--

- Hey, Principal Marshall.

Is it cool if we use the rink after school?

Gotta get in extra practice before the big game, eh?

- Yes, of course.

The big game.

How could I forget the big game?

It's all anyone can think about.

[laughs nervously] - Sweet!

Thanks. Mapleton rules.

- So I take it hockey's pretty big here?

Ah!

- You could say that.

- Y'all, I'm just gonna say it.

With Lincoln gone, we need a new man--

[gasps] Or wo-man with a plan.

Who's it gonna be?

- It should be me.

Check out this sick temp tat I just got.

Zach rules.

Grah, grah, grah, grah, grah, grah, grah.

- Tats are lame. It should be me.

I got the sweetest moves.

[beatboxing]

- I'm the coolest

Da, da, da, da, da, da, da

I'm the coolest

Da, da, da, da, da, da, da

- Stop! - Wait!

- [yelling] [grunts]

[coughing] Hey.

Wait. How did you get in here?

- Turns out the dining room window was open.

[both sigh] - [laughing]

[dog barks]

- I don't remember potty training being so hard

with the other kids.

- Me neither. I'm running out of ideas here.

- [laughing] [dog whines]

[squealing]

- Wait a minute. Lisa!

That little genius potty trained herself

in like an hour.

Maybe she can help us.

[engine rumbling, brakes screech]

- Need to borrow my little genius for a while.

Thanks, Cheryl.

- But what about her lessons?

- I think I'll survive

if I miss playing with paste.

- And what does this animal do?

- Quack, quack. Quack, quack.

[all laughing]

O-M-gosh.

This must be shop class.

You actually shop!

I'm so getting an A.

[all snoring]

- That new volunteer is delightful.

She really relates to the children on their level.

- [snoring] [sucking on thumb]

[birds chirping]

- Babe, how's the caddy floor?

- So far, so good.

It's so nice to finally be able to relax.

[chuckles]

Gah! - Hi.

I'm Maddie, your personal caddie.

Now let me see here.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

That's a much better angle.

Now-- [grunts]

I'd go with this teddy bear.

Now relax as I continue to study

your every move.

- [laughs nervously]

- Class, I want you to meet our new student, Lincoln Loud.

- Cheers! - Welcome, eh.

- Welcome, Lincoln. - Hey there, Lincoln.

- You're just in time for our math lesson.

- Cool. I'll get out my notebook.

- Oh, no need for that.

Okay, everyone. Suit up.

[whimsical tuba music]

Here, Lincoln. You tend goal.

- Whoa!

Um, I don't really know how to play.

[whistle blows] - Okay, kids.

If Sadie hits a 160 gram puck with 4,200 pounds of force,

how much time does Lincoln have to raise his glove

to block the goal?

- Two microseconds! [grunts]

- [grunts]

- Correct, Sadie. And nice slapshot.

Way to nail the biscuit!

- [groaning]

Hmm?

Wait. Where is everyone?

- Why eat cafeteria food

when you can have fresh Yukon splake for lunch?

Here. Give it a shot.

And welcome to Canada, eh?

[whimsical music]

- Reel 'em in, eh? - Hey, got one!

- Hmm? Whoa!

I'm starting--

To miss--

Bolhofner! - [goose squawks]

[bell ringing]

- How about this, dawg?

Whoever can do the most pushups

is the new man with the pli-zan.

- [in deep voice] Challenged accepted.

- Here they go. Again.

[both groaning] - One!

- You two chumps got hall passes?

[both grunt] - Ha.

Maybe now you'll think twice

before breaking hallway rules.

- And now may I present

Mr. Pottybot.

- Ooh. - Whoo.

- [chuckles] By following Lily

and tracking her body heat,

Mr. Pottybot will know exactly when Lily has to go

and will zip her to the lavatory

to do her business.

- Mr. Pottybot reporting for duty.

- Ope. Hey, he is good!

I do have to go.

- Of course I remember our game night, buddy.

Don't worry. I'll be there.

- Dum, dum, dum, dum

- Yah! Yah!

- Dum, dum, dum, dum

[geese honking]

- A goose jam?

Estimated delay 30 minutes!

[groans]

[energetic music]

[wind whooshing]

- Dum, dum, dum, dum

- Ugh. Now what?

- Sorry.

We got a bit of a sticky situation.

Maple syrup cart hit a pancake truck and well,

that's what you call a delicious detour.

Eh? [laughs]

[moaning] - [sighs]

Sorry you missed game night with your friends, kiddo.

But Clyde did drop ya off a pear tart.

- [chomping]

Salty.

I can tell he was crying baking this.

[sighs] I don't know what to do, Dad.

I miss my friends so much.

And this whole Canadian school thing--

- [snoring]

Huh? What?

Oh, sorry, son. Must've nodded off there.

Ever since Lily got kicked out of preschool...

[yawning] Your mother and I

have been running ourselves ragged.

[snoring]

- Kicked out? Whoa.

Now, there's an idea.

The man with a plan is back.

- Dum, dum, dum, dum

Dum, dum, dum, dum [marker squeaking]

Dum, dum, dum, dum

Dum, dum, dum, dum

- [gasps] Uh-oh.

I suppose you're gonna kick me

out of school for this, huh?

- Kick you out? No way.

My wife told me I couldn't pull off bushy brows

but here's proof I can.

- [groans]

- Snowball fight?

It's on!

[all grunting]

Don't forget to calculate

the maximum arc of your snowballs.

- Yah!

[moose snorts]

[both gasp]

[indistinct chatter]

- Indoor moose races! [air horn blasts]

Great idea, Lincoln.

[both cheering]

- [chomping]

- Lily requires potty.

- No, thank you.

[electronic beeping]

- [grunts] [alarm sounding]

- Danger! Danger!

[crashes]

[whimsical music]

- [whirring] [crashes]

[sparking] - [groans]

Mr. Potty, please!

- Major systems shutting down.

D--d--dark--darkening.

- [screaming]

[birds squawking]

- Bobby, this floor has to work out.

This is one of the last available rooms on campus.

- Well, what could go wrong

on the sand trap floor, babe?

[gasps]

- Ah, Boo-Boo Bear, this is a nightmare.

I was so excited to come to Fairway

but I'm starting to think I don't belong.

- Uh, babe?

Not to interrupt but--

[both gasping for air]

[both yell] - [grunts]

Uh, babe?

- I can't take this anymore!

[sobbing]

[solemn music]

- [sighs]

[arrow snaps] Whoa!

Huh? [all grunting]

[dramatic music] - Yeah!

- Wait. That's perfect!

[grunts]

- Ooh. Sorry, eh?

- [groans]

[phone dialing, ringing]

- Hey, buddy.

- Clyde, I got the whole gang on with me.

Say hi, guys. - Talk to me.

- What's shakin'? - Yo.

- Sup? - Uh, Lincoln?

We're all in Home Ec together.

- Oh. Yeah.

Well, I need you to come to Canada.

My school has a huge hockey game

against their rivals,

and we gotta make sure that game never happens.

If we can pull this off,

I'll kicked out of here and be home in no time.

[electronic beeping] [all groan]

- Who was watching the timer?

- Lincoln is usually the timer man.

- That does it.

We're coming, Lincoln!

[birds chirping]

- [snoring]

- [groaning]

Let Lily go!

[groans]

- [tweets]

- [snoring]

- [grunts]

- [snoring continues]

[toilet flushes] - [grunting]

- [giggling]

- [gasps]

- Lily stay home forever!

- Huh...

[intriguing music]

- Hey. We made it to the ferry.

Maybe we're not as hopeless as we think.

- So who's got the tickets?

No one bought tickets?

- Sounds like a Lincoln job.

[all groan]

- Well, looks like we're swimming

across this here river.

- But the water is freezing.

- Then we best get to lathering.

[bluegrass music]

Nothing like farm fresh butter to trap the heat.

[all gag]

[birds chirping]

- [giggling]

- Lily, sweetie, we need to talk.

- Uh-oh.

- We know you're potty trained.

- What? No, no, no, no!

Look. [groaning]

[exhales]

- Lily, it's okay.

We know that preschool is a big change.

So Mommy and Daddy decided you can stay.

It's fine if you're not ready to leave home.

- Yay!

Lily stay home forever!

[giggling]

- Mom, Dad. [crying]

I'm not ready to leave home!

[sobbing]

- What is happening?

- Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum

[all shivering]

- I knew we should've sprung

for the moose with a bigger caboose.

- [snorts]

- Are we there yet?

- Let me check the GPS.

I think it's frozen.

- J--J--Just give it a good whack.

- [shivering] Sweet.

Now we don't have a map.

- Um, guys?

That might be the least of our problems.

[dramatic music]

- [moaning]

- A yeti! Stand back, everyone.

I'm highly trained in cryptid combat.

- [grunting]

- Lincoln!

You came for us!

- Yeah, I was worried.

You guys should have been here hours ago.

What happened? - Don't ask.

Liam, you got any more of that butter?

I'm freezing my 'stache off.

No!

- As you can see, we're falling apart without you, buddy!

- Ditto.

Time to put operation stop the hockey game

and get kicked out of school

so that I can finally end this frozen nightmare,

and also think of a shorter name for this operation.

[gasps] Whew.

Into action.

[energetic music]

- Hair dryers?

- You can't play hockey without ice.

[hair dryer whirring]

- Yes! - Hot dog.

- W--Whoa! Yeah!

- Whoo! Whoo.

- Get back here with that!

[grunts]

[hair dryers whirring]

- Well, bust my flannels.

What's going on here, eh?

- Oh, no. Principal Marshall?

We're so busted!

- Do you realize what you've done?

- Sorry, Principal Marshall.

I guess I'm a born trouble-maker.

I just can't help myself!

Anyway, I'm sure this means I'm kicked out,

so I'll just go grab my belongings.

- No! You actually saved me.

- Seriously?

- I was actually coming down here to melt the ice myself.

But you could have just turned on the heater.

[heater whirrs on]

But uh, hairdryers work too.

Look, between us,

I've got no interest in playing this hockey game.

The coach of our rival school is...

my big brother, Gordy!

And every year, win, lose, or draw,

he gives me an enormous post-game wedgie.

- But Principal Marshall--

- Now don't worry your little toques.

I'll take full responsibility for this kerfuffle.

Now you should all head'r.

That's Canadian for skedaddle.

I'll tell everyone the game's off.

[whistling tune]

- [groans]

[insects chirping]

- [chomping]

Maybe I could commute to Fairway.

Three hours each way isn't so bad, right?

- [barks]

[door opens] [all groaning]

- Our Canadian goose is cooked.

- We can't give up, guys.

Who's got another plan?

- I know.

Lincoln, we could change your name and dye your hair.

My parents have done that like seven times.

- Or we hide you in my chicken coop.

We just laid down fresh hay.

- [sighs] Look, guys.

We tried everything.

Maybe it's time we just accept it.

We're not gonna be together for middle school.

- But buddy, how are we gonna survive?

- We're just gonna have to.

You'll get used to me not being around every day.

And I'll try to adjust to Canada.

We'll take it day by day, eh?

See? I'm getting used to it already.

- Later, dawgs. - Yeah, I guess.

- [sighs] Okay.

[solemn jazz piano music]

- Stay safe up there in the Great White North.

- And Lori, don't worry. You'll--

wait, Lori? What are you doing home?

- I was actually just leaving.

You helped me figure some stuff out.

I mean, if you can make it work in another country,

I can make it work at Fairway.

Thanks, Linc.

[birds chirping]

- [groaning]

- You need an assist there, fella?

- [moaning]

[gasps]

What are you guys doing here?

- Well, we thought about what you said.

And you're right. We'll make this work.

- Starting with our very first international breakfast swap.

- Aww, thanks, guys.

You're the best.

- I got butter. What do you all got?

- Firing up the maple syrup hose.

- Actually, no syrup for me today please.

I'm a little syrup-ed out.

[all gasp]

- Why is everyone staring at us?

Is my fly down?

- Lincoln Loud,

in accordance with the Royal Canadian Maple Syrup Code,

you are hereby booted from Canada.

Sorry about that.

- [gasps] Three years?

That's all of middle school!

- Guys, I'm coming home.

[all cheering]

[birds chirping]

Wear lucky underwear. Check.

Wear new jeans. Check.

Put on best polo.

Check.

What a difference a week makes, eh?

[indistinct chatter]

[beast roars]

[laser zaps]

- Well, maybe not that much of a difference.

- Let me in! Let me in! - Leni, hurry up in there.

- This isn't funny.

- I can't believe I have to go back to high school.

Pre-school had finger painting, naps, a trampoline!

- [gasps]

Finger painting? Trampoline?

- It was, like, so bouncy.

[sighs] I really loved that place.

- [panting] [grunts]

- Wanna go to school. Wanna go to school.

- I don't know how that happened

but I'll take it.

- Me too. - [sighs]

We finally got the house-- [car horn honks]

But she's got the car keys! - [gasps]

- I'm so proud of you for deciding to come back, babe.

- Thanks, Boo-Boo Bear.

And I got a really good feeling about this floor,

whatever it might be.

[elevator dings]

[water gushing]

- Ugh. The water hazard floor?

Let's go check out another one.

- [alligator growls]

- [squeals]

Mm, no, that's okay.

I'm gonna make it work.

[whimpers] Gah!

- Well, that's the last Loud out of the house.

It's the end of an era.

[sobbing] - Yep.

Our kids are growing up.

- [laughing]

- Whoo! [laughs]

both: Leni?

- I promise I'm going to big girl school today.

Just five more bounces!

[bell ringing]

- All right. I'll give up my pancakes

if someone has bacon.

- We'll take that trade.

What? I'm giving him a good home.

[all laughing]

- Well, I'm off to the Hof.

- I never thought I'd be so happy

to see you go to Bolhofner's class.

- So good to have you back. - Bring it in, dogs.

- Yeah, for sure.

- Uh, guys?

Some upperclassmen are starting to stare.

- Let 'em.

- Come on. Hurry on to class now.

Don't let me catch you tardy.

- Hall pass please.

- But I... Wait.

I'm the principal.

- Then you should know better than anyone

that you need a hall pass.

- [grunts]

Huh?

[all groaning]

- Hello, you beautiful classroom!

Hank, how's my favorite class pet?

- [giggles]

- Chandler, good to see ya, my man!

Missed each and every one of you--you the most, Mr. B!

- How lovely for us.

Now zip it!

- Absolutely. But uh, Mr. Bolhofner, sir?

Is there any way you could turn down the temp in here?

I got kinda used to the cold.

[all gasp]

[ominous music]

[chalk cracks]

- Turn down the temp?

[beeps]

Yeah, I don't care.

No one's ever asked.

[all cheering]

- Oh, big whoop. So what?

You're still the same old Lincoln Lame.

- [grunts]

- Ellie Mae, you get back here now!

- [groans]

- Whoa. Whoa!

[moose growling] [brawling]

- You know what?

I think I'm gonna like middle school.

May sound bad but ain't the case

In the Loud house - Loud house

- Duck and dodge and push and shove

That's the way we show our love in the Loud house

- Loud house

Laundry piles stacked up high

Hand-me-downs that make me cry

Stand in line to take a pee

Never any privacy

Chaos with 11 kids

That's the way it always is

In the Loud house

The Description of Schooled!