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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: DZIDZIOFILM - Я їду до мами

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Friends...

Best friends...

I have closed my eyes to a lot of things.

But when I heard them spreading rumours about my Mom...

That was the last drop!

Did you know that Dzidzios' mother is getting married in Portugal? And she is hiding it from him.

So, he's gonna have a Portugese father!?

Fucking bastards!

My mother can't love anybody.

My mother loves only me!

Mom! Can you hear me?!

I don't believe...

I don't believe in that lie.

You have told that Mom cannot have anybody. Never!

Do you remember me as a little kid going under your shirt

and biting your breast so that you started crying...

But you were happy and said:

"This is my little Dzidzio!"

If you could just know how much I miss it now!

You went to those piratic "earnings",

you promised to come back in half a year,

15 years have passed already and neither you came back nor you invite me to visit you!

Once I said that want to visit you. And what did you say?!

"Stay at home! It's too expensive!"

And I'm staying at home...

Mom

Can't you understand?!

I'm being jealous of you.

Portugese father?! What'a hell!

Hey

- Are you crying? - Are you a fool?! No!

It's just a fly got into my eye.

- Come here! - Wait.

- Let me see! Don't worry!

Easy!

There is nothing in it.

No way! I feel something there!

- Anyway, do you have an international passport? - Yes.

I'm going to Portugal now. Would you like to join me?

We can visit your mother. Can you imagine how happy she would be?!

Of course I want. But it's too expensive.

Don't worry! I won't take money from you.

You'll just need to carry cigarettes and vodka through the border for me.

With your frinds. - What friends?

What are they...Lesyk, Julik... I don't remember.

Those bastards are not my friends.

I can go only by myself, without them.

I need three of you going. What can you carry only by yourself?!

Oh, if it's like that, then I'm not going!

Well, I'm not going to beg you.

I'll go look for guys. Maybe they will go.

Wait!

Rembo

Tell me the truth!

Since you go to those Portugals a lot.

Is it true that my mom has a boyfriend over there and she is planning to get married with him?

Who? Your mom?!

What are you...crazy?!

All men are afraid of her like death!

Anyway, stop confusing me. Are you going or not?

- I'm going. - Stop. Only if three of you are going!

Got it.

Where are the guys?

Wait!

They are not there.

So

Are they biting?

Yea... they have just twice bited your rod.

Why did you touch my rod?!

It wasn't me. It was Lesyk.

Ok...

Do you have international passports?

I do.

Because we might be going somewhere now.

Dzidzio, I'm sorry!

I won't say that you're going to have Portugese father again.

Dzidzio, I'm sorry for spreading rumours about your mother.

It's like I've heard bells, but he didn't know where the sound was coming from.

Guys!

I forgive you,

but you are real bastards!

Why did you do that with photos?!

For that you have to kiss it now.

Kiss!

Kiss!

I haven't wiped my bud with it!

For real?

You dare!

Hey!

Hold it! Hold it!

Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!

Hallo! Mom, I'm very busy right now. Call you back in the evening via Skype.

Hold it! Hold it!

Hold it!

What the hell are you doing?!

What are you doing?!

What do you, guys, need that fish for, we are going to Portugal anyway!

You are going to fucking nowhere, if you keep talking like this!

What?!

Calm down! Calm down!

Calm down I said!

Stop, guys! Go home and change your clothes!

Time is ticking!

Why the hell are you shouting!?

What are you wildmen or something?!

Why are you dressed up like for a wedding?

Why don't you change your clothes?

I'm not going to.

Why? Are you gonna go to Europe in this?!

Rembo

I don't think it's respectable.

Novoyavorivs'k

Rembo, my friend, it's too tight!

That's ok, be patient, ok?

Be patient!? It's stabbing me.

Please!

Look, Rembo! Is it ok like this?

No, Lesyk. Hide this a little bit. They could see it.

I think it will be all right.

Ok...

We have 10 bottles of vodka.

One can carry only two bottles.

What we gonna do with two which are left?!

Yea, he is right. There are only four of us.

Two extra botlles left.

Let's drink!

Freaking motherfucker!

Shit! Give them to me!

What are you doing?

Why are you letting loose with your fists?!

I'm trying to carry it thru the border!

Don't touch me!

Come and help me, Lesyk!

Rembo, my friend, it's too tight for me anyway!

Why are you always whining like a girl?!

Why haven't you put anything on yourself then?!

Wise one!?

What?!

What did you say?

Wait, Rambo! I got it.

Who the hell are you!?

Who the hell are you!?

Who the hell are you!? - I said.

Do you know who you are talking to?!

Do you know who you are talking to?!

Do you want him to brake your nose?!

It's already croocked like a bear openner!

Come here!

What should you say?

Say!

What? Rembo, my friend...

Rembo, my friend, I'm very sorry!

I won't do this again.

He won't do it again, Rembo. He didn't mean to.

I hope so.

What the hell are you doing!?

We can't fit all of it anyway.

Did you drink it?!

Guys! You can't even imagine where are going.

In my mom's garden oranges grow like plumbs in our gardens.

Mom feels herself quiet comfortable over there, guys!

Don't you dare to say to my mom: "Aunt Galya" among other people there!

Only "Donna" or"Seniora Galyna"! Got it?

Why?

What: "Why?!"

Because my mom doesn't live in simple house. She lives in villa!

I can imagine.

I'll arrive now.

We will go shopping with my mother.

She'll buy all new things for me.

Pants, shirts,

socks, new panties...

She'll finally buy me shorts!

Will she buy something for us?

Lesyk, do you remember our favourite anecdote?

- About balls? - Yes.

Listen, Rembo!

Super-anecdote!

We like it a lot.

Listen! Petro says to Vasyl:

"I bet two of us have 5 balls."

And Vasyl replies:

"What? So you have only one!"

Hey, man!

Do you wipe your hans of my seats?

No, I'm not.

Did you take your passports?

Yes!

I forgot.

Lesyk!

I'm just kidding! Let's go!

Hell with you, guys! Give them to me!

Here

Rembo, tell me, please!

My mom has a ukrainian pension.

Is she going to have a Portugese one, too?

I wouldn't have to work anymore.

I would live for a Portugese pension, and mom - for ukrainian one.

Where are the visas?

What?

Where are Shengen visas, guys?

We aren't going to Shengen. You said we are going to Krakovets.

All normall people, who go abroad to Europe,

should have Shengen visa!

That's the first time I hear about it.

Fucking hairy faggot!

I've heard that there is no need for visa for Ukraine anymore!

Neither to Europe, nor anywhere else!

I hoped so much to go there...

Oh, stop! You will go. We will even go together!

You don't understand me, Lesyk.

I know!

Listen!

There is a way thru Popovychy village!

There are no need neither for passports, nor for visa. Nothing at all!

What if we'll get caught?

We'll say that we are collecting mushrooms.

It's too far, Lesyk!

3000 km...we gonna go there for 3 months!

Shit! Let it even be half a year!

Let's vote!

I'm going.

I'm probably not, guys...

Guys!

Friend will be friends! Hi five!

I'm going to Mama!

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