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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: 6 Worst Band Photos Ever Taken

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Today we're gonna look at some terrible band photos

and they're not all Hoobastank.

Let's talk about that.

( upbeat music )

- Good mythical morning. - Mythical beasts,

forgive me for going out on a limb here,

but let me just say that this episode of GMM

will be the greatest episode of GMM

that you've ever watched right now.

Oh, uh... wow.

I think it's probably the only one

- you're watching right now. - Yeah.

We'll be cooking a turkey with a car engine.

We'll be eating your favorite foods

in ways you've never imagined,

and we'll be doing our best to say nice things

about truly awful movies.

I'd watch that show. You know what?

I'm gonna watch it right now as we do it.

( laughter )

All right, first up, let's talk about bands, okay?

If you're in one and you hope to make it big one day,

you might wanna think about taking a good band photo.

Otherwise, you may end up starring in a game

like the one you're about to see.

It's time for...

Okay, Rhett, here's how this is gonna work.

I'm gonna show you a terrifically horrible photo

of an actual band and then I got a little trivia question

for you about that band.

Multiple choice, trying to make it easy for you,

because if you get three of these right,

- you get to smash that guitar in celebration. - What?

If you don't, I get to smash the guitar

in classic rock god fashion.

Okay, what if I wanna do classic god rock fashion?

You've gotta get three right.

Oh, okay.

- Okay. Yeah. - Are you ready?

Check out this first album photo.

Is that Burt Reynolds?

( chuckles ) It is not Burt Reynolds.

That is Robert Wotherspoon, and if you know who that is,

you're probably one of the two people in the photo.

( laughter )

She's enjoying herself.

Now in the upper left, we have removed the title

of this album and I want you to tell me the name of it.

- Is it "Rubbing Rhonda"... - Rhett: Oh ho.

"Music To Massage Your Mate By,"

"Tenderly Touching With Tony and Tonya,"

or "Quaaludes and Quaaludes"?

( laughter )


I don't know if she looks like a Rhonda.

- Oh. - You know, that's a first clue.

She doesn't look like a Rhonda,

- so I'm gonna eliminate that one. - Hmm.

"Music To Massage Your Mate By."

Now they did do a lot of weird things back in the day,

- but I actually believe-- - Like--

Like what's being pictured, is one of them.

I believe this is Tony and Tonya.

I believe that this is Tony and Tonya,

and they are tenderly touching.

Okay, let's un-blur the album cover to reveal.

- It is "Music To Massage Your Mate By." - Rhett: Ah. Really?

And hopefully it's partnered with music

to burn your couch afterwards by.

( laughter )

Yeah, lots of things happening on that couch.

Check out this band photo.

This is Bad Lizard.

Yeah, there's a lot of bad parts to this.

And there's not even a lizard.

And it's not a parody?

This is not a parody band.

This is not a parody band.

This is a Belgian band,

- which maybe is the same thing. - Okay, all right.

Just kidding! We love you, Belgium.

Hold on, but that does reframe.

Now I know that these guys are from Belgium,

it's like, "Okay, all right, they're not from Ohio."

It does feel different.

I will say that they took this photo

during their world tour of Sears Portrait Studio.

( laughter )

They write and sing in English,

even though they're Belgian.

With that in mind, which of these

are not lyrics from their song "Black Hole."

- Rhett: "Black Hole." - Link: Mm-hmm.

"Lady, you gonna pick me up tonight

and drive me to the road of fancy world."

- ( bursts out laughing ) - ( laughter )

- I'm saying which one is not? - Not true.

"Power, big money, sex, and danger zones.

I can hardly breathe in savage trade."

What? Come on, Bad Lizard.

C, "Leather ladies brushing all my hair.

Too-skinny pants make my toad sweat."

- ( laughter ) - And finally,

"Nightlife, union, drugs, and big mans' talk.

That's all part of my new life."

- That one actually makes sense. - ( laughs ) Yeah.

D makes sense for once.

Al right, so you're not going with D.

Which one is not an actual Bad Lizard lyric

from "Black Hole"?

"Fancy world" is something I can see these guys saying.

"Savage trade" weirdly does make sense.

( laughter )

"Toad sweat," "toad sweat" feels like something

that doesn't come from Bad Lizard.

It feels like something that comes from your brain

when you're thinking about Bad Lizard.

You're like "Lizards, toads, toad sweat."

So I'm gonna say C is not a real lyric.

All right, you're right!

You dialed in to the Bad Lizard, man.

Do you know them?

- No, but I would like to. - Okay, me too.

Check out this bad band photo.

Whoa! Is this, like, a perspective error?

Stilts, I believe.

Mm-hmm. This is the band Exmagma.

Uh huh. They used to be Magma?

They used-- yeah,before.

I bet they all thought

they were the only ones showing up

at the photo session in stilts.

Yeah, yeah.

"Hey, I thought I was wearing the stilts!"

( stammering )

It's a tall drum set, too.

They're a three-piece German experimental jazz,

rock, and krautrock band.

- You know, one of those. - Krautrock?


And which one of these is not the name

of one of their songs, okay?

- "Torpedo ( bleep )." - Rhett: Uh huh.

"Fred Braceful is Talkin' To Bread Faithful."

"Butter in My Mouth, Feather in My South."

or "Adventures with Long S. Tea 25 Seconds Before Sunrise."

- Weird. - What in the world?

Which one is not one of their songs?

Once you get that high-- on stilts--

you can name a song anything.

- Ah, good gr-- - "Butter in My Mouth, Feather in Your South."

- "In your south." - I misread it.

"Butter in My Mouth, Feather in Your South."

Yeah, yeah, they never sang that

'cause I would remember it.

( laughter )

'Cause "Torpedo (bleep)" is my theme song.

( laughter )

I'm gonna go with C, "Butter in My Mouth."

- Link: All right. - Rhett: That's not them.

You are right!

I think I helped you out with that one.

- All right, here-- here's a-- - I'm good at this, man.

- Here's a great album photo, man. - Found my calling.

Check it out.

Oh, "Bord Jentin"?

Yep, "Borood Jengen."

They're a Norwegian group.

What is the name of this album?

Again, we have edited it out for the time being.

Is it "I Farta," "Stanka Panka,"

"Fulla Housa"?

Or "Blonde Blonde Baby Time"?

Did you also edit out Bill Cosby? Because...

There's a "Full House" vibe going on, right?

- Could be it. - The sweater, though.

What is the name of this album, Rhett?

You seem stumped.

I am. It's not "I Farta."

I mean, this looks like a "Stanka Panka."

- ( laughter ) - Hey, look,

there's a lot of stanka panka going on in this photo.

All right, let's reveal the title

as it actually is written.

- Rhett: "I Farta"? - Link: "I Farta."

What does that mean in that language?

In Norwegian, "I Farta" means "I fart."

- ( laughter ) - Yeah, well.

I actually don't know and you know what?

I don't want to know.

Yeah, yeah, that would ruin the illusion.

It's not until the last track

you find out who farta actually.

- You gotta keep listening. - I think it was the guy in the sweater.

All right, check out Ramma Damma.

- This is his album cover. - Rhett: Ramma Damma?

German pop star.

Which of the following things is true

about Ramma Damma?

Is it that he drives a car shaped like a banana,

he believes he can fly but only for short distances,

in the '70s, he married a pineapple,

or he dated Cher?

- Which one of these is true? - Yeah.

- Well, first of all-- - Sadly, only one of these is true.

( laughter )

First of all, there's a space between "Ramma" and "Damma"

in the top part, and then he says it again

and there's no space.

And then underneath it, it says--

- Both: Hot dog. - I see that.

"Singt und rockt." This guy definitely looks

like the kind of person who would marry a pineapple you know?

He seems totally capable of marrying a pineapple

- so I'm going with that. - Link: You're right!

Look, here he is with his frigging pineapple.

Yes, yeah. I-- yeah.

They honeymooned at the urologist.

Whoo, that's gotta sting.

( laughter )

Oh man, yeah.

- All right, so you got three right. - Yeah, yeah.

Did I say you gotta get three right or four right?

You said three.

Okay. I really wanted to smash that guitar.

Hey, hey, we can make this last one up for grabs.

If I don't get it, you get to smash the guitar.

I'm willing to do that.

Oh, I would love to do that.

Okay, so if I get four out of six right.

Check out this album cover.

Is that "Jazz in Stereo?"

This is from Austrian saxophonist Hans Koller

and if you ever get a chance to see him live in concert,

call the police and tell them where he is.

( laughter )

What is the name of this album?

It's written on his bib and we've edited it out.

Okay, all right, got it.

Is it "Relax With My Horns,"

"Balloons in my Darkness,"

"Murder in C Sharp,"

or "Children Hear My Toots?"

( laughter )

Incidentally, my children hear my toots.

- All the time, yeah. - Constantly.

That's my kid's alarm clock.

"Wake up!" ( imitates fart )

( laughter )

What-- This guy seems so demented.

But weirdly, he feels like-- he seems like

he would want you to relax with his horns.

- Weirdly? - Yeah.

I don't know, I just-- I feel--

I don't know if it's 'cause I'm seeing the horn

or if I feel very relaxed.

I'm gonna go with "Relax With My Horns."

All right, let's reveal the title on the bib.

- Argh! - Rhett: Yes!

You still won.

- I get to bust a guitar? - You know what?

Grab that guitar, buddy!

You earned it.

I've always wanted to do this, man.


- Oh! Gosh, nothing happened. - ( laughter )

- Try it again. - Okay.

Oh, my goodness.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, stop.

- Can I get one whack in, please? - Sure.

Oh, the back's gone.

( yells )

Boy, that's satisfying!

Boy, that's great.

I'm so happy for you, Rhett.

And don't worry, that is not the guitar

that has been hanging up there for years.

We replaced it for this.

It's Thanksgiving week, so click on through

to see the really bizarre way we decided

to cook a turkey.

Put a hat on it, a GMM hat to be exact.

Get one at

The Description of 6 Worst Band Photos Ever Taken