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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Alice Through the Looking Glass: An Animated Classic

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[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHEERFUL ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[MEOWING]

You can't go out, Cinder.

I can't go out either.

We're prisoners.

I don't know what we'll do for another whole day indoors.

[GIGGLES]

I know you're smart, Cinder, but you can't play chess.

[GASPS] I know.

Let's pretend we're in Egypt and I'm the Queen.

I'll order thousands of my men

to build the biggest pyramid in the world!

No, we pretended that yesterday.

Alice?

Hi Daddy!

I have to go out on a call.

Is it important?

Very.

There's a baby over at the Clinton place

wanting to get into this world.

I've gotta help it get in.

I'll get my fur coat and snow boots.

No, wait.

I can't take you this time.

But there's a terrible blizzard.

I know, that's why I can't take you.

George Hanson is going with me.

The roads may be in bad shape. We could get stuck.

I can shovel snow.

You're my favorite riding companion,

but you just stay inside here where it's nice and warm this time.

I'll be back in time for our nightly chess game, okay?

Okay.

I hope the baby's a girl!

And I hope you didn't jinx me.

I promised a boy.

[MEOWING]

Hmm, I'll just figure out a real neat chess move to beat Daddy tonight.

There!

That'll make him scratch.

Oh, Cinder!

You ruined it.

Now where did I have the White Queen?

I wish I were a queen like you.

If I were a queen, I'd ride around my kingdom

on my noble steed and make everything beautiful.

I'd order all blizzards to stop

and I'd command it to be nice every day!

[MEOWING]

I'd order the grass to grow

and all flowers to bloom

right in the middle of winter!

I'd make the sun shine all day long

and there'd be a full moon every night!

Oh, it's like looking through a window into another land.

It's so beautiful.

If only I could get through the glass to the other side.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

What's happening?

How's this what I all thought?

My hand goes right through it.

I wonder.

[PLAYFUL ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING]

I'm on the other side of the looking glass

and I'm not just pretending!

I can hardly believe my eyes

I really don't know What to think

It's all such A lovely surprise

And it's happened As quick as a wink

It doesn't seem like a dream

No, I'm sure it's real

Though it's hard To understand

Still, I feel so happy

Here in looking glass land

I love it!

It's so wonderful Looking around

Oh, look, I really Don't know what to say

♪ 'Cause this colorful land That I found

Wasn't here when I woke up today

It doesn't seem like a dream

No, I'm sure it's real

Though it's hard To understand

Still, I feel so happy

Here in looking glass land

In looking glass land

I wonder if there are any people in this beautiful land.

[SWOOSHING]

You're very pretty but what are you?

Are you a bird?

Is that what birds look like in this land?

Are you some kind of animal?

I'm some kind of a magician.

You really are!

Who are you?

I'm Tom Fool,

Royal Court jester and magician to her Highness,

the White Queen in the first square.

White Queen in the first square?

That sounds like a chess game!

Of course!

This is Chess Land.

Oh, good!

I play chess with my father all the time.

Ah,

then you know why I had to sneak up on you the way I did.

We can't let anyone from the Red King and Queen side

sneak into our square, you know?

Well, I'm not from their side.

I'm Alice

and I'm from the other side of the looking glass.

How about that.

We hardly ever get any tourists.

You mean, other people do come here through the looking glass sometimes?

Well, to be honest,

you're the first one.

Oh, wow!

This is something special!

Would you show me around?

Please?

Hey, wait.

I amuse, I mystify, I entertain!

I don't do guided tours.

Then just tell me what to see.

If you'll pardon me, I think I'll disappear again.

Don't leave.

You're the first person I've seen

and I don't know which way to go!

Ah, well, come on.

I'll take you to the top of the hill where you can see all the land.

Thank you.

[PLAYFUL ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING]

Tom, wait!

What's the matter?

[PANTING] I can't keep up with you.

You've got to run faster.

I'm running as fast as I can

but I'm not getting anywhere!

In this land, if you just run as fast as you can,

you stay in the same place.

You've got to run faster than you can.

That's impossible!

Now running faster Than you can

Is really simple as can be

Try going slower first And then

Just do the opposite You see

If you think it can't be done

The problem's Only in your mind

So all ya have to do is Change it and you'll find

That nothing

Is impossible

No, nothing Is impossible at all

Now, you may think That isn't so

Ah, but I've seen enough To know

That nothing Is impossible at all

No, nothing Is impossible at all

Now, getting North By heading South

Is such an easy trick To learn

Just don't forget Before you get there

To return

Oh, falling up is elementary

When you're outside In your room

And you'd agree at once If you would just assume

That nothing

Is impossible

No, nothing Is impossible at all

Now, you may think That isn't so

Ah, but I've seen enough To know

That nothing Is impossible at all

No, nothing is impossible

At all

Nothing is impossible.

Never been done, maybe.

But anything you can think of is possible.

Well, I can think I'm on top of that hill

but I'm not!

Think hard.

There!

You did it.

That was wonderful.

You can see most of our land from here.

ALICE: It's just like a chess board.

TOM: Right and you're in the white square.

You always start in the white square, you know?

But I don't see any kings or queens

or knights and castles and pawns.

They're down there.

Oh, I'd love to join them.

I wouldn't mind being a pawn.

That's easy.

You're a pawn.

But I'd much rather be a queen.

I've always wanted to be a queen.

Oh, that's harder.

You have to go all the way across the land to square eight

and then you'll be made a queen.

I can do that.

You'll have to get the White Queen's permission first.

I'll ask her right away!

She doesn't grant audiences.

You work for the White Queen.

It's not work!

I amuse and entertain her.

Couldn't you just take me with you

when you're going to see her?

Sure, why not?

If she gets mad, I could always say

you're a spy I caught.

Come on.

The White Queen's castle looks like an eagles nest.

The queen's got claws like an eagle

and she screeches like one.

She sounds scary.

She's mostly bark and no bite. Let's go.

[LOUD BANGING]

May we enter, Your Majesties?

Tom Fool.

Where have you been?

I've been calling for you.

I've been patrolling your territory, My Lady.

Searching for spies.

Well, if you nab one, haul him in

and we'll have a real ball.

It's so boring around this gold-plated mausoleum.

Boring!

You wish entertainment, Madam?

I could use a couple of chuckles.

[CHUCKLING]

I don't get a whole lot of laughs

just sitting here looking at old fireball over there.

He moved!

If he'd sat there much longer like that,

I was gonna have him bronzed.

[LAUGHING]

Now, amuse me, Fool.

Hey, no acrobatics! They don't amuse me.

Oh!

And no juggling, you dolt.

That went out with vaudeville.

Give me a laugh, something that'll hit me right here.

Today, we have some really big, big stars.

They're going to give you a really big, big shoe.

Some women have brains instead of beauty.

What's your excuse, Madam?

Hey, how's about a you and me,

we get a couple of pizzas, huh, toots?

[LAUGHS] What do ya say?

[HORN TOOTING]

Stop this nonsense at once.

Do one of your magic tricks.

Something super spectacular.

Gazook.

Trunk and wang doodle.

Golley wok, hoof and poof,

oink and wompas.

This is amateur night.

I saw how you did that trick.

You had this beast up your sleeve.

Now make it go away.

Wiff diddle.

That's a gas. [LAUGHING]

I always knew Whizzer had termites in his crown but not mice.

I just noticed there are two of you.

Who's this other young boy you brought with you today, Tom?

Present him at once.

My name is Alice, Your Majesty.

I'm not a boy.

I'm a girl!

You can't be, you're wearing pants.

These are jeans.

Jeans, joes, jims, I don't care who they belong to.

They're pants and boys wear pants.

Lots of girls wear jeans today, ma'am!

Disgusting.

When I was your age, I wore beautiful, frilly dresses

and my hair in a long braid down the back with a big bow.

You must have been a very pretty little girl.

Aha, you're a wiley one but you have tact.

Diplomacy, we can use you.

Maybe we'll make you our new ambassador.

What do ya think of that, Flash?

[LOUD WHISTLE]

Get with it, tiger.

Oh, yes, yes.

Well, my dear, I feel...

Good, I'm glad you feel.

[LAUGHING]

For a minute, I thought you weren't even breathing.

Sharp as a razor, that one.

Maybe we should make her the new Prime Minister.

How does that grab ya, swifty?

If you really want my advice...

That'll be the day.

Just nod your head for approval.

[SNORING]

That's giving it the old pizzazz, slugger.

[LAUGHING]

It's done.

Now come up here, child,

and let me appoint you Prime Minister.

But I don't wanna be a Prime Minister, Your Majesty.

I wanna be a queen.

You're not as bright as I thought you were.

You know what it takes to be a queen?

Tom told me.

I have to do all the way from square one

to square eight, with your permission.

It's not easy.

The Red King and Queen will try to stop you

with their evil tricks all along the way.

I can make it.

You'll meet some looneys,

not normal, well-adjusted characters like us.

[LAUGHING]

There's this joker on square five

called Humpty Dumpty.

Flaky, a real airhead.

Oh, I know all about Humpty Dumpty.

Ha, wait till you get to square six and seven.

You know all about dragons and krakens and griffens?

And hydras and ogres and gorgens?

I've never seen any.

Well, you'll see plenty.

Keep a close eye out for the Jabberwock.

He's a real creep.

Oh, if you really make it to the Red Queen's square

and she has to crown you,

[LAUGHING] it'll blow her mind.

Then you're giving your permission?

Yes, yes child, go!

Let Tom Fool here take you to square two and show you the way.

Come back when you're queen and we'll crack a pot of tea together.

Now, be gone.

Thank you, Your Majesty!

[PLAYFUL ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING]

At the bottom of this gorge

is the entrance to square two

and that's the beginning of your journey

to become a queen.

I can't wait to get started.

The first part of the trip is pretty easy.

It gets harder the closer you get to square eight.

I'll make it.

Suppose you become a queen.

Do you know how to act like a queen?

I hope so.

You look and act like a little girl,

but to be a queen, you've got to look and act like nobility.

I'll try very hard.

Let me give you some pointers.

[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING]

From your lofty throne Address the crowd

Demand their loyalty

That makes me groan

I'd be more proud If I earned my loyalty

With scepter high Demand esteem

Make them kneel to you

I'd rather not try To act so mean

That's not how I feel Do you?

Nobility

That's what You've got to learn

Nobility

Is something I must earn

Be sure that praise Is all you take

A queen must never be robbed

And go for days Without mistake?

Oh, I should live so long

Nobility

That's what You've got to learn

Nobility

It's something I must earn

Now Alice, here's how you do it.

Be cold as ice

I'd rather be nice

Always disagree

But that's not me

Tax the people blind

That's so unkind

Be wise as a sage

I'll act my age

Be tough and hard bitten

I'll be soft as a kitten

Be shelty and sly

I won't even try

Yell and scream a bit

I wouldn't dream of it

There's nothing to it

I just couldn't do it

To wear a crown And rule the land

Takes more than civility

When a person's down And you lend a hand

Now that's nobility

Nobility

That's what You've got to learn

Nobility

It's something I must earn

Oh, you don't think I can be a queen.

If you make it,

I'd like to be your court jester and magician.

Really?

Thank you, Tom.

Now, let's get you to the second square.

How do we get to the bottom of that deep gorge?

We'll slide down on the rainbow.

It's not raining.

It will.

I don't believe it.

The sky is perfectly clear.

Tumble mumble, thunder rumble!

Smash and crash, lightnight flash!

You believe?

I believe.

Make it stop!

Rain, rain, go away.

Come again some other day.

I've said that lots of times but the rain never goes away.

There's our rainbow.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

You make everything so easy, Tom.

It won't all be so easy.

I can't go with you after square two.

I have to serve the White Queen.

You said you wanted to serve me.

You're not a queen yet.

Well, when I get to square six, I'll be almost a queen.

Can't you join me there?

I'll try.

Let's go.

Which way?

The way the sign says.

What does it say?

I can't read it.

It says, "SECOND SQUARE."

It's in reverse.

Remember, you're on the other side of the looking glass

and everything is opposite now.

Oh, yes.

When I look in the mirror,

my left hand is really the right hand

on my image in the glass.

So, we have to go the opposite way the sign points.

Oh, it's very bewildering.

I don't know if I can make it without you.

Sure you can.

Queens can do anything.

You're almost a queen so, you can do anything.

Almost.

[LAUGHING]

Now, you're at square two

and you can start your journey.

Oh, the country gets more beautiful all the time.

Wait, you have six more squares to go.

How do I get across all of them?

A pawn goes two squares in the first move.

I'll guide you across this one.

Then, you'll go by train across the third square.

Very fast.

I love trains.

[BUZZING]

Oh, what's that sound?

It's like thousands of giant bees buzzing.

That's right. It's a bee colony.

It's on our way. Come on!

[BUZZING]

They're elephants.

They're bees.

They're adorable.

[GASPS] Oh.

[LAUGHING]

They must be elephants.

I've been told, I've seen...

Don't believe everything you hear and only half of what you see.

All right, then I believe they're half bee and half elephant.

Hmm, that's a very wise and queen-like observation.

Thank you.

Now can we go on?

We'll get a ride now.

[NEIGHING]

I've never seen such creatures.

Can we ride 'em?

Why not?

[WHISTLES]

I need two volunteers.

Thanks fella.

Hey dude, how ya doin'?

It's cool.

Okay, hop on.

You take this one.

I'll take the unicorn.

[NEIGHING]

We'll make it to square three in no time.

Giddy-up.

Giddy-up?

Are you for real?

I just said giddy-up.

Hey, do I look like a horse?

Part of you does.

Well, I'm, you know, like a centaur.

Sorry, I forgot to believe only half of what I see.

You're the front end of a man and a horse's rear end.

That's gross.

Look, Tom's getting way ahead.

Can't we just go?

Like where?

To the third square.

So, why didn't you say that, like upfront?

What happened, Tom?

That silly unicorn bucked me off.

Couldn't you get back on?

I got so mad, I changed him into a rabbit and he ran away.

Well, there's no way I'm gonna haul both of you.

Off my back.

Later.

It was fun while it lasted.

Relax, I'll use the old hocus pocus.

[YODELING]

Wait till you see this.

[GASPS]

It's a bird, it's a plane.

It's Pegasus.

I should have called on old Peg to start with.

Now, we'll go first class nonstop

all the way to square three. Come on!

This is great!

Why don't we just fly all the way to the eighth square?

None of these creatures ever leave square two.

But you'll get other rides.

There's the gate to square three.

You're on your own.

I wish you were coming along, Tom.

You'll do fine.

You'd better hurry.

The train that takes you across square three

will be waiting at the station.

Bye!

Hurry!

All aboard!

Wait for me!

I'm coming!

Please wait!

[SIGHS] I just made it.

Hello.

I'm happy to be traveling with all of you.

My name is Alice.

That's your name

but what are you?

I'm a girl.

How odd.

I'm a goat.

Yes, I know.

You do?

Well, I suppose I'm well known.

I'm the President of this Railroad.

That's very nice.

I hope we meet again on the train coming back.

Impossible.

All trains only go in one direction.

That's weird.

You'd make twice as much if you went both ways.

[CHUCKLES] Both ways?

What a revolutionary concept.

Oh, daring but quite intriguing.

I'll have to think about that.

Yes, yes, very provocative.

[TRAIN HORN BLOWING]

I don't believe I caught your name.

It's Sea Biscuit.

Sea Biscuit?

[GASPS] You're a famous race horse!

I've heard a lot about you.

No, no.

My last name is Biscuit.

My first initial is C for Charlie.

Charlie Biscuit.

I pull a milk wagon over in square four.

Well, that's good honest work.

I'm sure you're well rewarded.

Yup, I get all the yogurt I want free.

Wonderful.

I hate yogurt.

And you, sir, may I ask your name?

Post Gazette.

That sounds like a newspaper.

I am the newspaper.

Number one in circulation throughout the land.

You read me?

No, well, I mean, I can't read you

because you're printed all backwards.

How dare you! "Backwards?"

Only to me.

That's because I come from the other side of the looking glass.

Oh, well, I suppose there are two sides to everything.

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]

You're very rude, young lady.

[GASP] Are you speaking to me?

Is there any other young lady present?

No, but what did I do?

First, you stared quite openly at my classified section.

Oh, I'm sorry.

And you were very brazen about studying my financial section.

I didn't realize.

And for the past five minutes,

you've gawked with absolutely no shame

at my comic section.

I really am sorry.

But I've never seen a newspaper man before.

POST GAZETTE: Incredible.

Where do you get your daily paper?

From a newspaper boy.

Well, boys grow up to be men.

Newspaper boys, newspaper men.

If you've seen one, you must have seen the other.

You're really not very observant.

Anyway, I apologize.

Oh, this silly train is going right past my station.

Quick, throw me out the window!

Thank you!

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]

We're flying!

This is a train!

Why are we flying?

We came to a hill.

How else would we get to the other side?

You could dig a tunnel through the hill.

[CHUCKLING]

You know, that's a very interesting idea.

Brilliant.

I'll suggest it at the next board meeting.

Hurry, close the window.

We are coming to the river.

We're going under the river?

Well, certainly.

It was in the way.

But why don't you build a bridge over the river?

[CHUCKLES] Clever! Ingenious!

Would you consider becoming chairman of the board?

Thank you, but I'm hoping to become a queen.

Why don't you go to the top spot and become a king?

Only a man can be a king.

That's politics for you.

I'd stay out of it if I were you.

Is this the end of the square?

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]

Everybody out to push.

You want us to push this train?

Have to Miss.

We're goin' North.

North is always uphill, you know? [CHUCKLES]

It'd be so much easier if we were going South.

South is all downhill.

But that's only on a map.

Well, we're on a map.

Uh, please hurry, we'd like to stay on schedule.

All right, put your shoulders to it.

Oh, it's so pleasant, I think I'll just walk

the rest of the way.

Have a nice day.

[BLEATING]

Can't you think of some excuse to leave?

I'm not very smart.

That's why I pull a milk wagon.

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]

End of the line, Miss.

We hope you enjoyed your trip

and thanks for riding One-way Railway.

Now, can you tell me how far it is to square four?

Just across that river.

The ferry boat will take ya over.

ALICE: There's no water!

You'll appreciate that if you fall overboard.

Good day, Miss.

Cast off!

[TUG BOAT HORN TOOTING]

[COUGHING]

Well, I'm in square four, such as it is.

But where do I go now?

[GASP] There's a sign post.

That'll tell me.

That's a big help.

Hop, hop, hop, hop, hop,

hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop,

hop, hop, hop, hop, hop,

hop, hop, hop.

You didn't jog so good today.

I jogged fine till you hipped when ya shoulda hopped.

I never hip.

You hip lots of times.

How'd you like a big fat hip on the lip?

Who's gonna give it to me?

Gentlemen, please.

My name is Alice.

My name's Tweedledum.

And I'm Tweedledee.

[CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

We're Tweedledum

And Tweedledee

I look like him

He looks like me

We think alike

But disagree

We're Tweedledum

And Tweedledee

We're Tweedledum And Tweedledee

Say, how come you Always get lastenly?

Sorry, we're Tweedledee

And Tweedledum

A quarrelsome consortium

We argue some

No, you do chump

We're Tweedledee

And Tweedledum

Better known As Tweedledum and Tweedledee

Who just found out The other day

We each have One twin brother

So incredibly We are first to say

We're related to each other

No

Yes

♪ 'Cause we're Tweedledum

And Tweedledee

I look alike

And so does he

An amazing similarity

We're Tweedledum

And Tweedledee

We're Tweedledum

Say, haven't we met before

Sure, we're Tweedledum And Tweedledee

Oh, yeah We're Tweedledum And Tweedledee

Oh, I've heard a lot about you two.

Never heard about you.

I'm from the other side of the looking glass.

You a giant?

No, where I come from, I'm just a small girl.

[WHISTLES] Then I'd hate to see a big one.

I'm on my way to become a queen.

Can you tell me how to get to the next square please.

Just follow the signs.

That's what they're there for.

But, they point in opposite directions.

Those signs are for people like you

from the other side of the looking glass.

You have to go in the opposite direction

from the way the sign points.

Oh! Which sign?

Either one. If you wanna go left, you gotta go right

and if you wanna go right, you gotta go left.

Right?

No, left.

I said left.

You said right.

I'm gonna hang a right on you.

Start hanging.

Please, don't fight.

I'll find my way just fine, thank you.

Hey, glad we could help.

Are you athletes?

Yep, track stars, run the mile, the marathon, cross country.

But we stay in shape by fighting.

Who do you fight?

Each other.

Oh yes, I remember the old rhyme.

Um, "Tweedledum and Tweedledee agree to have a battle.

"For Tweedledum said Tweedledee had spoiled his nice new rattle."

I never owned any silly rattle.

The only thing that rattles around here is his head.

I'm gonna rattle your head.

[SHOUTING] Stop it.

I'm sorry I mentioned that old rhyme.

It's time to work out in the gym.

Wanna watch us work out?

Thank you, but I really should be going.

I've gotta get to the eighth square before dark.

We'll jog along with you and lead the way.

I'd appreciate that.

There, you can see the door to square five.

I can't see it.

That's 'cause I'm taller than you.

You're shorter.

I'm taller.

And I'm gonna cut you down to size.

Please fellas.

Not again!

We've gotta go back now.

Thank you both for your help.

Just keep going and you'll come to the door of the fifth square real soon.

Start hoppin'.

Hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop,

hop, hop, hop, hop, hop.

That's very strange.

A door to nothing leading to nowhere.

This must be the entrance to square five.

So, I suppose I should go through the door.

MAN: Come on in.

Door's open.

Hello whoever you are.

I'm Alice.

MAN: Nice to meet you, Alice. Come on in.

Where are you?

MAN: Right up here.

Come in, come in.

Why, you're,

at least I think you're...

The name's Humpty Dumpty.

That's spelled with an H and a D

and two "umpty's."

I thought that's who you were

but I always imagined you quite different.

Well, now I think I'm kinda different.

You don't run across a whole lot of eggs

with arms and legs who can talk.

Yes, but I thought you'd be wearing

shirt and pants like an egg man, you know?

[CHUCKLES] Oh, that's a pretty good one, that is.

A man egg.

People don't lay eggs.

Are you a chicken egg?

You wanna know what I am?

Well, I'll tell you what I am.

What I am is a dinosaur egg

and you just can't hardly get them no more.

Oh, wow.

A dinosaur egg.

You know how long it takes a dinosaur egg to hatch?

Mercy, many, many years.

I got purely tired of waitin' to bust outta my shell,

so I started growing on the outside.

It didn't turn out real good.

This is as far as I got.

That's incredible.

You don't believe it?

I'll just jump down and show you something.

Don't jump, you'll break.

[CHUCKLES] Oh, you can't crack a tough old dinosaur egg that easy.

See that?

Now, you just forget what you read

in some dumb fairytale and you believe my tail.

I believe if you had hatched,

you might have been huge and scary.

You know, that might have been kinda fun

but I try not to fret over what might've been.

[CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

I dreamed I'd be 40 feet high

Instead I'm the shrimp of a guy

I'm not spooky and scary

Or yucky and hairy

There must be A good reason why

[LAUGHING]

I plan to be some dinosaur

Breathe fire Grumble and roar

But it wasn't to be

I guess you can see

I'm just a good egg And no more

You're just gonna be What you are

Don't aim too high or too far

You're better, I've found

With both feet on the ground

You just gotta be What you are

You could strive You can reach

And then miss the gold ring

But 12 centuries from now

It just won't mean a thing

Ladedadadadada

Ladadada

Don't try to be Something you're not

You don't have to Have a whole lotta

Don't sit around moping Just wishin' and hopin'

Make the best of Whatever you've got

Oh, you just gotta be What you are

Don't aim too high or too far

And if you don't make it

Then don't try to fake it

You just gotta be What you are

Everybody!

You've just gotta be What you are

Don't aim too high or too far

You're better, I find With both feet on the ground

You've just gotta be What you are

You just gotta be What you are

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

And that's what I guess you could

sorta call my philosophy.

It's just what I was telling Tom

when he said I had to be nasty and mean

to be a queen.

I intend to be just what I am.

Then you'll be a real good one,

whatever you are.

Something puzzles me.

I thought you always sat up on that wall.

I gotta tell you, sittin' on a wall

is not one of your biggest thrills in life.

But, it says in the nursery rhyme,

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall!"

Well, now you just gotta take them old nursery rhymes

with a dose of salts.

Uh, you mean a grain of salt.

Meh, that'll get it too.

Oh, you, uh, plannin' to stick around a spell

or you just passin' through?

I'm going to the eighth square to become a queen

and I'd better be going.

I'll walk you a ways.

Get you pointed in the right direction.

Wanna see something kinda special?

Oh, it's just like all the big stone face statues on Easter island.

I call it Easter egg island.

I painted all of them.

It's sort of a hobby.

They're beautiful.

Yes, sirree, all dinosaur eggs

still waitin' to hatch.

You painted this one so pretty.

I hope it's a girl.

And I hope you didn't jinx it.

I sorta figured on a boy.

That's funny.

My father said almost that very same thing to me just this morning.

Best tell your Dad not to go foolin' around with dinosaur eggs.

Oh, he doesn't.

You see, he was only talking about...

Fella's got to know what he's doing

when he messes around with a dinosaur.

He's a doctor.

You mean he treats sick dinosaurs?

I never even knew one to have the sniffles.

He's not that kinda of a...

Your Dad ought to take up another line of work.

There's just not a whole heck of a lot of sick dinosaurs.

Oh, I'll tell him.

I love your Easter egg island

but I really have to be getting along.

Well, I'm sorry to see you go

but square six is just the other side of this island,

right after you cross the hanging bridge.

Thanks for showing me the way

and I enjoyed meeting you very much.

Pleasure was all mine.

You made my day.

Now I gotta go back and sit on the dumb old wall some more.

Good luck, little lady.

Oh, the trip really does get harder.

I hope Tom can join me again soon.

[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

[SHOUTS] Oh.

Tom!

Where are you?

Please.

I need you!

[SHOUTS] Stop.

Please stop.

All right, you rascals.

A plague on all malicious midgets.

[NEIGHING]

One of the glorious White Knights

at your service there, maiden.

We perform rescues and deeds of debting due at all hours.

We are as close as your nearest scream for help.

Oh, thank you, sir.

You arrived just in time.

It's a place swarming with evil creatures

of all sorts.

You really shouldn't enter it.

I do wish you wouldn't.

But I have to get to square eight.

I'm gonna become a queen.

Ah, a queen!

Oh, that changes the picture, of course.

[LAUGHING]

I should be privileged to accompany you

across this domain of demons and defend you every step of the way, my lady.

[STAMMERING] Would you like that?

Oh, yes.

I'll feel much safer.

Hmm, may I have your lace handkerchief to carry

next to my heart.

It's a quaint little chivalrous custom we knights have.

Would you humor me?

I'd be ever so grateful.

I'm sorry, I don't own a lace hankie.

But I've got Kleenex.

Uh, I think not.

It simply isn't the same.

However, I shall still fight for you just as nobley.

May we go now?

Um, should I ride in front or behind you?

I'm afraid Giselda isn't quite up to carrying

two riders, dear thing.

I hate to ask you to walk.

Oh, not me.

I couldn't walk three feet in this armor.

Heavy metal.

And these solarettes, dear girl,

they just kill me to stand on them.

That's terrible.

Hmm, they're a size too small and I have a very high instep.

You do see, don't you?

Yes, I didn't realize.

I'll walk, of course.

I shall lead the way.

[SCREECHING]

[SCREAMS]

Ah, Sir Knight, Sir Knight!

Oh.

[GRUNTS]

Ah, Gremlins.

Ooh, I simply can't stand flying things

with fangs and talons.

[SHOUTING] Go away, you horrid creatures.

[HISSING AND SCREECHING]

Well, they're gone.

And don't you come back, you beastly frights.

Or you'll feel a slash of the White Knight's sword again.

Well, let's get out of here.

Uh, well, I'm dreadfully sorry

but I must ride back to the castle at once

[STAMMERING] and secure a new helmet.

Do ya have to have a helmet?

Oh, dear, yes.

I sunburn so easily.

But I'll be alone in this terrible land.

There are other White Knights about.

You may be fortunate and run across one.

I do hope you're fortunate.

I do, I really do.

Uh, I'm listening badly.

Would you be ever so kind and hand me my sword, please.

Thank you so much.

I needed that for balance.

Farewell, fair maiden.

May the good spirits protect you in my absence.

God speed.

I really ought to go along to protect him.

[GROWLING]

[GASP]

[RUMBLING]

[SCREAMING]

Tom!

I'm so glad you came back.

You'll be all right now.

Come on.

There.

When we go through that tunnel,

we'll be in square seven.

I'm almost a queen.

That's Jabberwock territory.

You ready for that?

Of course.

I've come this far.

I'm going all the way.

Let's do it.

The Jabberwock is everywhere.

And he's got some evil henchmen.

Oh, let's just hope he doesn't know we're coming through.

[GROWLS]

I'll stop her.

I am the Jabberwock!

And I'm mean.

[GROWLING]

Don't roar at me, you big oge.

Roar at the girl.

I want her stopped immediately.

She mustn't reach square eight.

Do you hear?

You got it.

Me and the Bandersnatch here can take anybody,

Your Majesty.

[HISSING]

I'll gobble her up in one bite.

Hey, we're all partners.

You wanna split three ways.

Snarks get nothin'.

You don't even scare anybody.

You always put me down

just because I'm small.

Well, I don't care how you do it.

Just stop her!

She's gone too far.

She's had it.

I hope so or you've all had it.

Hey, we got an assignment here.

One little girl?

[LAUGHING] Piece of cake.

I can do my spine-tingling howl.

You do nothin'.

You're a snark.

People laugh when you try to act mean.

You're a joke.

No howlin'.

Just a suggestion.

[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHING]

We work for that Crazy Red Queen

We're the lowest And meanest of mean

We're bad!

Me too, me too

We'll tear all Our friends apart

Our evil is State of the art

We're bad!

And don't forget me

I'm Bandersnatch With breath aflame

I've burned up towns To gain my fame

I'm Jabberwock My game's the same

We're bad

We'll plot and we'll plan And conspire

Just set the whole country On fire

We're bad!

And so's the Snark!

And then when It's lying in ruin

More mischief We soon will be brewin'

We're bad!

No more and me

As Jabberwock I'll do my worst

To show reverse Among the curse

In rottenest We are immersed We're bad!

And me too

Untrustfully Scheming and tricky

We're totally slimy and icky

As opposed to this wimp Who simply is absurd

What a nerd!

Hey I represent her

[LAUGHING]

With hostility We must remark

We're terrifying Lords of dark

We'll zap you won't Just fool a lark

We're mad!

The Jabberwock

The Bandersnatch

Hey and don't forget The Snark

Who?

Me!

We're bad! ♪

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Now, what's our plan?

The Red Queen says this girl is smart.

We're smarter.

She's gotta go past that swamp

with a man-eatin' crocodile. [LAUGHING]

So?

So, we'll lay a trap

that'll lead her right into that swamp.

Come on!

We're over halfway there.

And no sign of the Jabberwock.

Keep your eyes open.

[GROWLING]

That'll keep her from going around that side.

Now, we'll plug up the other side. [LAUGHING]

The crocodiles are going to get all the goody.

You can have what's left.

[GRUMBLES] I always get second.

[LAUGHING]

There!

She can't go on either side.

She's gotta go straight into the swamp.

Now, we'll just sit and wait for the fun to begin.

Look!

It's a forest fire!

No, it's the Bandersnatch!

And that means the Jabberwock is probably close by too.

Can we sneak around 'em?

Stay here.

I'll go ahead and see.

What's keeping her?

We'll get action.

They set a trap

to lead us into a swamp full of crocodiles.

Can we get around it?

Uh, both sides blocked off solid with big trees.

Time for magic.

Yep, buckle up for another short hop.

I just heard something fly over us.

What was it?

I don't know.

Well, what did it sound like?

[DING]

Sounded like that.

We made it. We're safe.

And look at that.

Is it the castle of the Red Queen?

Yep.

When we cross that drawbridge, we're in square eight.

And the Red Queen has to crown you.

We beat her. We won!

Oh, that horrid child got past the Jabberwock.

[SHOUTS] Quick, raise the drawbridge.

And don't let her in.

We can't make it.

[GASPS]

Now we can dine in pleasure.

The drawbridge is raised and the girl is locked out.

She'll never be a queen. [LAUGHING]

[SCREAMING]

No.

It can't be.

I won't have it.

You must crown me Queen Alice, Your Highness.

Never!

Rules of the game, Madame.

You're a wizard, do something.

Stall for time.

Make her a queen and I'll think of some way to get rid of her.

Much as it revolts me, I hereby pronounce you

Queen Alice.

I'm a queen at last!

And I have promised to serve you, My Lady.

Stop working your horrible spells and sorcery.

Frighten her.

Make her throw away that crown and be gone.

[GASPS]

[SCREAMING]

Where did the Red Queen go?

Call the castle guards and get me off

this ridiculous platter!

Guards!

Guards!

Don't just stand there.

Take these two and lock them up in the tower keep.

Say goodbye!

RED QUEEN: After her.

The drawbridge is up.

We can't get out that way.

Use your magic staph and float us down.

I don't know if this'll work.

Oh, that wasn't very magic.

Well, that was the last of my power.

[GASPS]

And I lost my crown.

Nevermind.

To me, you're still a queen.

Thank you, Tom.

That's really sweet.

[ROARING]

RED QUEEN: Guards!

[SHOUTING] There they are. Take them.

Trouble ahead.

And trouble behind.

Use your magic.

I told you, it's shot.

Well, then I've gotta get back to the mirror

and into my own room.

You tricked us once

but not this time.

[ROARING]

[ROARING]

Come on, we've gotta go across.

Look!

Just follow me.

[BOING]

[ROARING]

[SCREECHING]

Hello there.

Bye now.

They must have opened a new pizza parlor some place.

Hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop.

It's a marathon.

Nobody told us.

[TRAIN HORN TOOTING]

Stop!

We don't go in that direction.

Queen Alice, come join me for tea.

You're not invited.

You work for the Red Queen, you horrible beasts.

Now, take a hike.

[ROARING]

This pot of tea is cold.

Warm it up for me, hot breath. [LAUGHING]

There's the mirror.

Better hurry.

They're not far behind.

Aren't you coming with me?

I've got to stay here

and serve the White Queen.

Now that you're leaving.

But those beasts

and you lost your magic staph.

Don't worry. I'll get another one.

Go!

I'll always remember you, Tom.

And I'll never forget you, Queen Alice.

I can't get back through the mirror.

I don't understand.

I walked right through to this side so easy.

That's it!

Everything is opposite here, remember?

You walked in forward.

So you've got to back out.

Goodbye.

Tom.

Goodbye, Alice.

[GIGGLING]

Oh, Tom.

[SCREAMING]

The Jabberwock.

The Jabberwock.

The jabber-who?

Oh, Daddy.

I'm so glad it's you.

I just got home.

Were you having a bad dream?

No.

It was fantastic.

I was a queen.

You'll always be a queen.

That's sort of what Tom said.

Do I know this Tom?

No and Humpty Dumpty said...

[LAUGHING] I know that fellow.

Well, he said you shouldn't fool around with dinosaurs

or try to treat 'em if they're sick.

[CHUCKLES] Honey, if a dinosaur ever calls on me,

I'll need a doctor.

Now, sit down and tell me about this fantastic dream you had.

Well, it all started out

when I went through the looking glass.

I wonder

was it really a dream?

[CHEERFUL ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING]

The Description of Alice Through the Looking Glass: An Animated Classic