Once upon a time, in Yasenevo district, Moscow, there lived a school boy.
Sergey Kostylev was his name.
Sergey was a let's-player on Youtube.
And in nearby Chertanovo...
Jony Ivesasin: The Farewell Video.
His chan... [inside joke, means "chan with s**t"]
His channel, of course, was watched by nobody. [views]
And then he called me once and said:
"Wanna easily earn 500 rubles?"
Of course, I rejected it.
But then I remembered I don't even have enough money for instant noodles and so I had to eat paper.
He told me to film a couple of funny videos about iPhones.
I founded Ap-le, and, well...
Unfortunately, our plans were not destined to come true.
He... did not become popular.
I did not become popular!
The videos just... weren't good enough.
I was... laughed at.
"haha lol who's this assasin douchebag"
I was betrayed.
Only hundred and fifty views...
Do I... deserve it?
I rewrote my scripts several times!
I did dozens of takes! "It's ya boi Jony Ivesasin,
and I've just killed been... khm".
I edited for days non-stop!
I put up with ridicules,
lack of views,
even Kostylev himself!
I even nearly died, comatosed for almost two months!
And for all this I got... some approving comments?
But I have to bear with it.
"Stop bearing with it!" [Zhirinovsky, a russian politician's quote]
You are right, Zhirinovsky!
From this day, I shall go away from Kostylev's channel.
I've got the money.
It would be enough to develop my channel.
I would... become popular!
Sit down here with this Crazy Man on this crazy chan-
...lly, this channel is now in good hands of Crazy Man, so there is still some hope.
Finally, before I get away from this junk,
I'll do what you all asked.
I will show my face.
♫ Why can't we be friends (x4) ♫
♫ I've seen you 'round for a long-long time ♫
♫ (Yeah, ah-ha-ha-ha!) ♫
♫ I re-member you when you drank my... ♫
"April 2, 2018"
"April 2, 2018"
Well, you know Rus. [inside joke]
♫ Why can't we be friends ♫ "Thanks for watching!"
♫ Why can't we be friends ♫ Sign on the left: "My Adventures"
♫ Why can't we be friends ♫ Sign on the right: "Now I am here"
♫ Why can't we be frieeeends... ♫