Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Child Safety Across Time

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LAUREL: Did you hear about Emma Schumaker?

MOLLY: What of her?

MEGAN: She had her husband build some sort of raised slatted crib for baby Charles.

LAUREL: Said letting babies sleep in bassinets and drawers is no longer safe.

MOLLY: Pshaw!

Can you imagine a world where every baby sleeps in a raised slatted crib?

Shut your sauce box.

MEGAN: Skilamalink!

LAUREL: Make a stuffed bird laugh.

MOLLY: Cribs will never catch on. MEGAN: No.

MOLLY: Say, did you hear about Shirley Rethman?

MEGAN: What's the dealio, Daddy-O?

LAUREL: She brought her baby and her buggy into the shopping market.

MEGAN: With her?

MOLLY: Mm-hmm!

She said parking the buggy outside with the baby in it while we shop is unsafe.

MEGAN: So we're supposed to take the babies inside with us from now?

Shopping will take twice as long!

LAUREL: Quadruple!

Cut the gas!

MOLLY: Get bent!

Eat a knuckle sandwich!

MEGAN: It'll never catch on.

MEGAN: Did you guys hear about Karen Robertson?

LAUREL: What now, man?

MOLLY: She bought little David some kind of car seat.

MEGAN: Yeah, said harnessing him down is safer in case of a collision.

LAUREL: Oh man, the backseat of the car is where Jennifer and Jason get their best exercise, man.

MEGAN: Mm-hmm.

MOLLY: Imagine strapping the little ones down.

It'll make driving a nightmare.

Dream on.

MEGAN: Lay a gasser.

LAUREL: Buzz off, man.

Carseats will never catch on.

MOLLY: Did you guys hear about Kelly Smith?

MEGAN: What?

LAUREL: She's not letting Kym-with-a-Y play outside anymore.

MOLLY: Yeah.

She said playing indoors in a completely padded, sanitized room enriched with Vitamin D light

is safer.

MEGAN: Oh come on.

As long as Anthony wears a helmut, sunscreen, water wings, knows about stranger danger and

lets me wipe him down with hand sanitizer every five minutes, I'm fine if he plays outside.

MOLLY: Totally.

Kelly's so basic.

LAUREL: Sorry not sorry.

MEGAN: Yeah, she's not on fleek.

It'll never catch on.

LAUREL: Did you two humans hear the update about Megatron?

MOLLY: What now?

MEGAN: She bought Megatron Junior an ectoplasm bubble that blocks sound.

MOLLY: Blocks sound?

LAUREL: Now, not only will he be physically safe from danger, but he also won't hear unsafe

things either.

MEGAN: He will be able to live to the age of 200 without hearing anything that scares

him or damages his self esteem.

MOLLY: That's it!

I'm done.

Beam me to Pluto!

LAUREL: I get it.

MEGAN: Anthony, can you say The BreakWomb?


The Description of Child Safety Across Time