LAUREL: Did you hear about Emma Schumaker?
MOLLY: What of her?
MEGAN: She had her husband build some sort of raised slatted crib for baby Charles.
LAUREL: Said letting babies sleep in bassinets and drawers is no longer safe.
MOLLY: Pshaw!
Can you imagine a world where every baby sleeps in a raised slatted crib?
Shut your sauce box.
MEGAN: Skilamalink!
LAUREL: Make a stuffed bird laugh.
MOLLY: Cribs will never catch on. MEGAN: No.
MOLLY: Say, did you hear about Shirley Rethman?
MEGAN: What's the dealio, Daddy-O?
LAUREL: She brought her baby and her buggy into the shopping market.
MEGAN: With her?
MOLLY: Mm-hmm!
She said parking the buggy outside with the baby in it while we shop is unsafe.
MEGAN: So we're supposed to take the babies inside with us from now?
Shopping will take twice as long!
LAUREL: Quadruple!
Cut the gas!
MOLLY: Get bent!
Eat a knuckle sandwich!
MEGAN: It'll never catch on.
MEGAN: Did you guys hear about Karen Robertson?
LAUREL: What now, man?
MOLLY: She bought little David some kind of car seat.
MEGAN: Yeah, said harnessing him down is safer in case of a collision.
LAUREL: Oh man, the backseat of the car is where Jennifer and Jason get their best exercise, man.
MEGAN: Mm-hmm.
MOLLY: Imagine strapping the little ones down.
It'll make driving a nightmare.
Dream on.
MEGAN: Lay a gasser.
LAUREL: Buzz off, man.
Carseats will never catch on.
MOLLY: Did you guys hear about Kelly Smith?
MEGAN: What?
LAUREL: She's not letting Kym-with-a-Y play outside anymore.
MOLLY: Yeah.
She said playing indoors in a completely padded, sanitized room enriched with Vitamin D light
is safer.
MEGAN: Oh come on.
As long as Anthony wears a helmut, sunscreen, water wings, knows about stranger danger and
lets me wipe him down with hand sanitizer every five minutes, I'm fine if he plays outside.
MOLLY: Totally.
Kelly's so basic.
LAUREL: Sorry not sorry.
MEGAN: Yeah, she's not on fleek.
It'll never catch on.
LAUREL: Did you two humans hear the update about Megatron?
MOLLY: What now?
MEGAN: She bought Megatron Junior an ectoplasm bubble that blocks sound.
MOLLY: Blocks sound?
LAUREL: Now, not only will he be physically safe from danger, but he also won't hear unsafe
things either.
MEGAN: He will be able to live to the age of 200 without hearing anything that scares
him or damages his self esteem.
MOLLY: That's it!
I'm done.
Beam me to Pluto!
LAUREL: I get it.
MEGAN: Anthony, can you say The BreakWomb?
ANTHONY: No!
