- Welcome one and all to Puppet History.
Today, we will be taking an ever-winding look
at yet another chapter
in the heavy, heavy book,
we call "History",
while our guests ruthlessly compete
for the coveted title of History Master.
I'm obviously your beloved host, the Professor.
- I'm actually impressed.
- Yay, professor! - Thank you, thank you.
Ryan Bergara, are you ready?
- Special guest Kate Peterman, are you ready?
- I am so ready.
- Then let's crack in.
(triumphant horn music)
- Would you guys like to know
what you're playing for?
- Yeah, sure. - Yeah, oh yeah!
- It's the Coveted Cup
of the History Master.
(choir singing) - Same prize as last time.
- Well I'm excited! - (laughs)
- Well let's get to it!
Today's tale is a down right caper.
It started out as a simple con,
and turned into a scandal that would
captivate all of France
and forever alter the course of history,
And also be adapted into a movie starring
Hillary Swank that I've never seen
because they don't let puppets into movie theaters.
(All laughing) - The Swank!
- (laugh) Oh my God.
- Unrelated question.
Have you guys ever been catfished?
- I thought so, but I just was
(sad saxophone music)
Is it hot in here?
- Yeah. Yeah. - Oh, it's too personal.
- The place, France, the time, the 1780s.
Before this nutty plot unfolds,
we need to lay out three
of our key players.
First up, Jeanne LaMotte.
Born Jeanne de-Valois-Saint-Remy--
- Is her boob out?!
- It's certainly tipping close.
- She's uh...
- Say it.
- No no, I was gonna say "an unmodest woman."
- Yeah, whatever, it's fine.
I'm not judging.
- There's no nipple.
For the record. (Kate laughs)
- No, don't look at it man.
- I just wanna loop this puppet
- "There's no nipple", on him staring
intently at her breasts.
- "There's no nipple!"
- [Ryan] I double checked, I thought--
- I don't see nothin'.
- Anyway, she was born in 1756,
with a little royalty in her blood,
as her father was the descendent
of an illegitimate son of Henri the 2nd.
- A bastard. - French king
from way back in the 1500s.
Yes, a bastard.
Despite her royal blood, by the time
Jeanne was born, her family was really hurtin'
for that sweet, sweet coin.
As a child her parents made her beg on the street,
"Gentleman, or Ladies, take compassion
on a poor orphan, descended,
in a direct line from Henri the Second,
King of France."
After a rough childhood, and plenty of her own
adolescent scheming, she eventually settled down
with a military man named Nicholas de La Motte,
who looks exactly like every other French man
in the 1700s, but despite his position,
and her ongoing claimed royalty,
the two were still hard up for cash.
We'll check back in on them
in just a bit.
- What did she do for cash, as well?
Did, or were they
- She kinda like schemed her way around,
- Like, let's hear about these schemes,
I wanna hear more about these schemes.
- She goes to the court
and she was like,
"Yo, my Dad was the illegitimate son,
of King Henri the Second",
and they were like,
"You know what?"
"We're gonna give you some money every month."
So that's how she kinda made it, ya know?
- So she just went up to officials, and said
"Hey, I know the guy in charge, gimme some cash?"
and they were like, "chill"? - Basically.
Yeah kinda. - Why didn't everybody
do that? Well, you would get real beheaded.
- You're also saying that the very threat
of a guillotine was enough to make them think
"Why would you chance that?" Right?
- Mm. - Oh, yeah,
I mean they were using that thing left and right.
- They were.
- They really-- - That blade was dull.
- (laughs) - That blade was dull!
- Onto our second person of interest,
Louis de Rohan!
Born in 1734 to the distinguished Rohan clan,
author Johnathan Beckman describes him as quote,
"Impeccably polite, with full, dark eyes,
that shone under gently drooping eyelids.
Louis charmed everyone he met,
and accumulated a pantheon of lovers."
- Kind of sounding a little bit like erotica to me.
- Yes, I did omit all the "Yums".
- All the "yums", eh?
- Yum yum yummy!
- Hummina hummina n' what not. - Yum yum yum!
- Wow wow wowza!
- Wowowowowowow! - Boi-oi-oi-oing!
- Wee ooh wee ooh
- Onk yonk onk yonk - Bleebloobleebloo--
- That's enough!
(laughs) - Look how mad!
- He never looks happy,
he either looks indifferent,
or very disappointed and angry.
- After some time in the circuit,
Rohan landed a pretty cushy gig in 1770,
as Ambassador to Vienna.
And although he thought the position
was below his status,
he took it anyway.
He quickly gained a reputation in Austria,
for his wild-ass parties,
where he really ruffled feathers.
(game show jingle)
- Uh oh! - (gasps)
- Summon your brains.
What aspect of Rohan's social gatherings,
was so controversial?
A. His performance of what he called,
- B. His risque seating charts.
- [Kate] (laughs) - [Professor] Or C,
his collection of monkeys.
- (wheezes) It's gotta be A. - Yeah.
- All right. Ryan, what'd you put?
- I'm gonna go with testicle entanglement.
- And Kate?
- Same, I also--
- You're also gonna go with A.
- Well, it's kind of boring, but--
- It's monkeys, isn't it?
- It's the seating chart!
- So normally in-- - Oh!
Sea-ting chart! - In parties--
- I thought you said "seeding"
as if like, nevermind.
I had something way grosser in my mind.
Well, you followed it after,
now I'm explaining myself.
- "Huh?" - I feel like I have
to explain myself.
- When you said "Genital Origami",
I figured you were upping the ante,
sexually, so I thought you said,
"Seeding chart", as if he's drawing a chart out
of who he's going to (beep).
- Well, that's insane. - What? What?!
- That is absolutely insane. - What?! You what?!
- You said "Genital Origami!"
- Yeah, but-- - You thought what?!
- And you said, "What would be"--
- Why would you? Why?
- You, that's-- - Repeat the question!
- Why would you--
- Well, he had small tables.
Is the answer-- - [All] (laughing)
- Is the answer.
Normally, at affairs like that,
they'd have one big cartoon rich person
table, and everybody would kinda be
in the order of like,
"Oh, Rich People down at this end,"
"Poor nobodies down at this end."
- Hm. - Hmm.
- But he had a bunch of tiny tables,
where everyone could mingle.
- That's kinda cool.
And everybody hated, but like, people got pissed.
- Piss drunk?
- One of the people who was not pleased about this
was the local head honcho,
Holy Roman Empress, Maria Theresa,
who complained about him to anyone who would listen.
Rohan, in return, ragged on Maria,
behind her back.
Eventually, the Empress' daughter caught wind of this,
and got pissed, which could pose some problems
for Rohan's political aspirations,
because her daughter was none other than
our third person of interest here today.
(game show jingle)
It's question time.
- [Ryan] Oh, again. - You thought you were safe,
but another question has pounced.
Just who in the hell was Maria Theresa's daughter?
There is no multiple choice,
you must write it down.
- Guess what my name is. (laughs)
- Pullin' out the stops with these questions.
- Ryan, answer?
- I don't even think this person
is from that time.
- (laughs) Antoinette? - (laughs)
Marie Antoinette. How do you spell?
I don't know.
- And, Kate?
- Well, I just put,
and I probably spelled it wrong too,
"Maria Theresa the 2nd".
- What is it?
- Well, Ryan gets a point,
'cause it's none other,
cake-eatin' queen herself,
- Cake-eatin' queen. (laughs)
Son of a bitch! - This fuckin'--
- I really want that trophy. Okay.
- Great question, Doc.
- Thank you! - (laughing)
- Now we can spend a lot of time
unpacking this lady's life,
but if you don't know the basics,
she was born into Austrian royalty,
married off to French royalty at age 14,
stepped into Queenhood at age 18,
and gets a lot of flack because she
eventually became a prominent scapegoat
during the French revolution,
despite not really being all that bad of a lady.
Well, now that we have our three players in mind,
let's jump into the Palace of Versailles,
in the year 1784 when all three parties
happened to be present, worth noting
that the Palace of Versailles was
a hive of activity that pretty much
anyone could walk around,
though people were probably quick to sniff out
if you weren't a noble.
So Louis de Rohan was now serving
on the French Court as Grand Almoner,
but he was desperate to be Prime Minister,
and believed that the position was being
withheld from him, due to Marie Antoinette
outright loathing his ass.
Jeanne, in her ongoing quest to cash in
on her royal lineage, had moved near Versailles
with her husband, to hobnob.
Now, Jeanne had recently been acquainted
with Rohan, and was aware of the Queen's refusal
to even speak to him.
(game show jingle)
So, as a person desperate
to climb the social ladder,
what do you suppose she does with this information
when they cross paths at Versailles?
A. She blackmails him.
B. She tells the Queen he's going to assassinate her.
Or C. She tells Rohan she's
the Queen's best friend.
What to do, what to do?
- Oooh, boy.
When in doubt, pick C. - (laughs)
- They say about the SAT.
- What'd ya put? Ryan.
- Wow. I put B.
- You put B.
- I think we know what Kate picked.
- (Kate laughs) - Kate, you picked C?
- I did!
- Well let's find out what happens.
- Oh boy.
- Costume change.
(gong crashes) - This is the most fun
I've had in a really long time.
(saucy guitar music)
- Ah, Cardinal Rohan!
Fancy seeing you here!
- Oh, hallo hallo!
What are you doing around Versailles?
- Oh, you know, just...
Paying a visit to a friend.
- Oh, is that so?
Heh heh heh, and who might that be?
Oh, oh, my friend?
Her royal, uh, oh, I mean,
just some plain jane you don't know.
- Jeanne, what ever are you playing at?
- Mmmm, fine! It's the queen!
I'm friends with the Queen!
The Queen is my best friend!
- Oooooh! - That's, ah.
- It's the biggest secret in the world!
But yes, best friends for life!
What more can I say, we're just plain friends!
- Boo! Boo!
- Who wrote that?
That was a beautiful play.
- The script sucked!
(both laughing) - I don't like the history!
I don't like it 'cause I wasn't right.
- When in doubt, pick C!
- God damn it, the prophecy fulfills itself.
- Hah! (farts) - [Ryan] Oh, there he is!
- So yeah, she lied to him.
So Kate gets a point! - Ah.
- A history point! - Ooooh.
- So Rohan was obviously not in a position
to confirm or deny this,
may have sounded outlandish but since
the Queen was known to buck tradition,
maybe it wasn't!
So, he ate it up!
Rohan was eager to have Jeanne
put in a good word for him.
So she offered him a great opportunity.
Write the Queen a letter!
So, he did!
There's no surviving copy of it,
but he likely apologized
for dunking on her mom.
- [Both] (laughing)
- And wouldn't ya know it,
the Queen wrote back!
Except obviously, it was Jeanne,
just straight up catfishing him!
After exchanging secret letters
with the Queen, for nearly a month,
without so much as a glance from her,
Rohan was getting antsy.
He wanted to meet with her, and soon.
And believe it or not, Jeanne saw to it,
on the night, of August 12th.
- Oh. I hope there's disguises. Please.
- What, what? - At this point, do they know?
- [Both] (laughing) - What do you want?
- The person here who's being catfished,
does he know what the--
- Yeah. Does Jeanne look strikingly similar
to the Queen?
- Not particularly.
- Hm. - I mean--
Rohan is much more acquainted with Jeanne
than with the Queen.
- So where were we? August 12th!
Here we are!
- [Both] (laughing)
- [Professor] The sprawling gardens
of Versailles, on a star lit night.
- (stifles laugh) - [Professor] Enter,
- It's me, the Rohan.
Standing alone in the garden.
Sure would be a shock,
if any Queens appeared here tonight!
(creepy piano music) (crickets chirping)
- [Professor] Crickets.
- Hmm, I knew it.
What a pile of nuts!
- [Professor] Suddenly, from the bushes,
a rustling, and who should emerge?
- Who goes there?!
I'll kill you!
Ma-ma-mah, my Queen!
- [Professor] She extends a letter.
- You know what this means.
- No, I don't!
- I have to go now, goodbye!
- What'd the letter say?
- Was she a ghost?
- Rah! Okay! Weird!
What do you think just happened?
- A. Jeanne donned a powdery wig
and a Jedi robe and pretended
to be Marie Antoinette,
B. Jeanne hired her husband's mistress
to pretend to be Marie Antoinette,
or C. This is fan fiction written by Rohan
in his memoirs.
- [Kate] Oh, my God!
- [Ryan] That's tough.
- Rohan did talk a lot of shit,
so I wouldn't put it past him
to say that he met the Queen,
but he didn't meet the queen. - Yeah, yeah, true.
- Sure, sure. - You know?
But he had no reason to lie about it
because he thought he was getting
actual letters from the Queen.
- He did.
- So it kinda feels like maybe it was
the Mistress, but why would she hire
her Husband's Mistress?
- Well, I guess you'll have to pick one.
- Oh, yeah, I guess we can't just
sit around here talking about it all day.
- Ryan, have you chosen?
- I think I have.
- What are you gonna go with?
- I think this is fan fic.
- Okay. Kate?
- Oh, God.
I went with master of disguise.
I went with A.
- I hope it's A. - Okay. All right.
- I think it's C.
- Well, it turns out,
Jeanne's Husband was gettin' a little
love on the side, with a woman,
who very much resembled Marie Antoinette,
so without telling her much,
they dolled her up,
and had her act the part!
Points, to no one!
Do you think Rohan bought it?
- Yeah, I think so too.
- He bought the hell out of it!
- Yeah, I'm sure he did.
- To such a degree, that he didn't
even bat an eye when "the Queen" wrote him
asking to donate 60,000 pounds
to a family in need,
or, a few months later when "the Queen"
also asked him for an additional 100,000 pounds!
Coincidentally, Jeanne bought a nice house
for her and her husband around this time.
So, Jeanne just starts
sending him a bunch of letters,
being like "it's me! The Queen!",
"Hey, I need money!",
and he's like, "Alright!" - [Kate] Yo! I want green!
- She does rule, that's pretty great.
- That is so freaking cool.
She was all business,
she didn't care about her husband having
a little mistress--
- No, she was like,
we can use this.
We can work with this. - Gonna get myself a veranda.
- Now with Rohan firmly on the hook,
it was time for Jeanne to really
crank them screws.
And here's where the world's most expensive
necklace comes into play.
According to Johnathan Beckman, quote,
"The Necklace comprised 647 diamonds,
weighing 2,800 carets.
Grotesque and almost literally unbearable,
it resembled an item of chainmail,
more than a coveted piece of jewelry."
The necklace had been commissioned as a gift,
by former King, Louis the 15th,
but as it was such a monstrosity,
the jewelers, known as the Boehmers,
weren't able to finish the thing
before he kicked the bucket in 1774.
Desperate to sell the necklace
that most people short of royalty probably
couldn't ever afford, they had previously
offered the sale to Marie Antoinette.
Beckman describes their exchange,
and for once, this scene will have some,
allegedly, accurate dialogue.
- Now we didn't not like the dialogue
from the other scenes.
- [Ryan] Speak for yourself.
- You thought it was good?
- I did!
- Thank you!
- You're welcome!
- Don't be so needy.
- [Professor] In the Palace of Versailles,
a sweating jeweler falls to his knees,
in front of Marie Antoinette.
- Jesus Christ.
- Madame! I am ruined and disgraced if
you do not purchase my necklace!
I cannot outlive so many misfortunes!
When I leave here, I shall throw myself
into the river!
- Rise, Boehmer!
I do not like these rhapsodies.
If you were to kill yourself, I should (coughs)
If you were to kill yourself,
I should regret it as the act of a madman,
in whom I have taken an interest,
but I would not hold myself responsible.
I told you in person--
- Hmm. - That I refused to buy
the necklace, the King wished to give it to me,
but I refused him also.
Never mention it again, to me.
Divide it, and try to sell it piecemeal.
And do not drown yourself.
Never let me see you behave in this way again.
- Wow, dope!
- Oh, man.
- She frickin' knows how to instill boundaries!
- I mean she also just shunned him, hard.
- She was like, "no, bitch!"
"Fix it! You're in this situation?"
- She ain't gonna fall for those crocodile tears.
- "And if you kill yourself, it's not my fault."
- Yeah, what a power play!
- Not falling for the crocodile tears.
- A respectable lady!
- Wow. - It was good.
- Somewhat unsurprising,
based on that exchange,
that in January of 1785,
Rohan received yet another letter from The Queen,
and she wanted the necklace.
But for reasons undisclosed,
she preferred Rohan to take care of the transaction.
And look, we're not here to pick on the guy,
but Rohan is really turning out to be
quite the chump here.
Assuming the Queen was maybe
just hiding this transaction from the King,
Rohan happily agreed to broker the deal
with the delighted jewelers.
A price was agreed upon.
1.6 million pounds.
Paid over time, with an initial payment
of 400,000 pounds within the first six months.
Rohan finalized the sale with the jewelers,
and chauffeured the necklace from Paris,
to the La Motte residence at Versailles.
(game show jingle) - Question!
- What happens next?
A. Rohan is ambushed and robbed on the street
by a cohort of Jeanne's.
B. Rohan insists on taking the necklace
directly to the queen.
Or C, Rohan hands the necklace
to a man he's never met before.
- [Kate] I don't know.
- [Professor] Just pick one, it's okay.
- I want the cup, no I wanna win.
- Alright, whatever.
- It's just history points.
- Alright, I'm locked in, Doc.
- Let's go with A.
- You're going with A.
- Just to continue the chumpness.
The most chumpy thing I can think of
is going to make this deal where
you're already getting ripped off
and to get robbed by that person in the street
just for funsies.
- And Kate?
- I'm goin' with B.
- You're going with B.
- That was my second choice.
- (laughs) - He insists on taking
the necklace directly to the Queen.
- Yeah, I think he did.
- Well, let's find out, what happened.
(gong crashes) (both laughing)
- [Ryan] Jesus.
- Whew. Jeanne baby,
you've really nailed it.
Mama's hit the big time!
- [Professor] A rapping, at the door.
(door knocking) - Uh. Oh, uh--
Come on in!
Oh, Rohan, hallo!
- Wait. - Huh?
- That's Marie.
- [Professor] Ah, shit!
(fog horn blares)
(slide whistle squeaking)
- [All] (laughing)
- [Professor] Let me take this from the top, huh?
- [All] (laughing)
- [Professor] A rapping, at the door.
- Oh, uh, come on in!
- What timing! I was just meditating,
on my very cool, very real friendship,
with Marie Antoinette.
Hey, where's that necklace?
- Oh, yes yes yes. Here it is,
the dreadful thing!
- Oh, I can't wait to sell this thing.
- What was that?
- I can't wait to tell the queen,
what a champ you've been!
- Oh, bless your wonderful honest heart!
- [Professor] A rapping at the door.
- Uh, well that will be the Queen's
Be a treat and hide behind that
potted plant over there!
- Hmm, that sounds reasonable!
- So Rohan actually let a complete stranger
just walk off with what may be
the most expensive pile of rocks known to man.
- You never gave me my point.
Nobody gets a point. You both got it wrong.
- It was C.
Remember when I said, "When in doubt,"
"put C" and then I didn't?
- [All] (stilted laughing)
- My brain's melting right now.
- Done it this time, Peterman. - It's the--
God damn SATs all over again!
- So Rohan actually let a complete stranger
just walk off with what may be the most
expensive pile of rocks known to man,
and Jeanne bought herself even more time
by telling him that the Queen probably
wouldn't wear the necklace til she summoned
the courage to tell King Louis about it.
- Wow. - Smart.
Just plain smart.
- She is Jo-Ann the scammer.
- That's cool. - Yeah!
Obviously, Jeanne and her husband immediately
dismantled the necklace, then he went
to Paris, to sell the stones at a loss
for 240,000 pounds.
- That's it?!
- No. I feel like he pocketed some.
- Also, you gotta understand, he took it
to several jewelers.
And most of them,
it would be like trying to sell someone
a stealth jet.
They were like "Why on Earth would anyone
"Be trying to sell this pile of"
"Millions of dollars of--" - Rubies!
- In case you have to sneak around.
- So despite his overly trusting nature,
Rohan was getting nervous the Queen had yet
to wear the necklace.
The jewelers were also getting nervous,
and on the fifth of August,
Boehmer went directly to the Queen,
and in meeting with her, laid out
the details of the transaction.
And guess what?
She was pissed!
That was the fifth of August,
on the sixth of August,
at two in the morning,
Jeanne la Motte left town!
Days later at the Queen's Patronal feast,
Rohan was tapped on the shoulder
by the King's guards.
He'd long suspected he was being duped,
but only now realized the extent of it.
According to Beckman, when put before
the King and Queen and asked about the necklace,
he sheepishly uttered, "It is true, sire."
"I have been tricked."
(laughs) That's so sad.
- So they rubbed his face in the poop.
Just like you would with a newborn puppy.
That's amazing. - Well, isn't it--
- Rohan was said to be visibly shaking,
and after the conversation, he begged them
to spare him the shame and scandal
of being publicly arrested.
He was publicly arrested.
- [Both] (laughing)
- Luckily Rohan had just enough time
to slip his servant a note
instructing him to ride to Paris
as fast as he could
and burn all his documents.
His servant took him seriously,
and rode so fast and so hard
that his horse died-- - [Kate] Oh, his horse died.
- [Professor] As soon as he arrived in paris.
- You know, the horses are always
the unsung heroes of most of these stories.
- They are suffering.
You ever think about horses on the battlefields?
Just getting peppered by bullets and muskets?
- All the frickin' time.
I think about it all the time.
- But you gotta think those horses,
when they're all like lined up at battle,
they're thinkin' "This is sick."
"I'm here with all my bros." - No, No.
They're good at, I was a horse girl.
There, I said it. I was.
- That's fine. - That's a strong admission.
- The key word there is "was".
- I still love horses.
- Uh oh.
- I don't like, have stickers of them
in my apartment, because-- - [Ryan] Relapse.
- I can't put stickers on my wall.
- Sure. - But--
I do love horses,
but they're very intuitive.
- If they were really intuitive,
wouldn't they just be like,
"Nah, I'm not runnin' then,"
"Gonna go back to the barn." - Oh yeah!
- Well, they get branded and shit.
- How about "Give me some Hay?"
"Maybe a sweet little apple covered in sugar?"
- "Hey buddy, how bout an apple
before I run into that hail of bullets?"
- "God, I love sugar cubes."
- I got a lot to think about.
- Meanwhile, in Clairvaux,
150 miles east of Versailles,
Jeanne was also casually setting things
on fire, according to her memoirs.
She's very chill about this.
She said, quote,
"Having received intelligence that the Cardinal
"was in the Bastille, I employed myself
"near two hours in burning all the letters
"and notes which I then recollected to have
"in my possession between the Queen and the Cardinal.
"In short, I thought it my duty to remove
all vestiges of a correspondence between
the Cardinal and the Queen."
- So even she's thinking about her legacy,
in the future-- - Yeah.
- It wasn't enough that she accomplished the crime?
- [Professor] Exactly. - Little revisionist.
That's pretty cool, actually.
- I really like her.
- She's covering her bases.
- I just feel like-- - She's baller!
- She did a great job.
- She did a great job!
- I feel like she should take that money,
hop a boat,
get out of there,
start a new life with all that
stolen money, well not-- - Sure.
- Well, yeah, no. - Yeah yeah, she--
- She stole it. - Yeah, my bad.
- So she was arrested the following day,
and would now join Rohan
in the cells of the Bastille
as they awaited trial.
It started out as a grift!
How did it end up like this?
♪ It was only a grift, ♪
♪ It was only a grift! ♪
- The formal investigation
began a few months later in January,
and it lasted for months!
The trial itself became a national obsession,
and it's as long and as fascinating
as the caper that caused it.
However, we simply don't have time
to cover it in detail,
or at least the detail it deserves.
So, you know,
read some books about it!
- Alright, don't give me a homework assignment, bud.
- Well, I am "The Professor"!
- With no accreditation.
- I went to "Puppet U."
- Aww! - Oh, yeah?
- Yeah! I'm a P.U. alum!
- P.U.! (laughs)
- Question time!
How do you think things turned out
for these two banana heads?
A. Both were sentenced to death!
B. Jeanne pinned it all on Rohan.
Or C, Jeanne's story crumbled,
like a house of cards.
(suspenseful music) (clock ticking)
- Ryan, what ya got?
- I'm gonna go with C.
- It all fell apart.
- I think it all fell apart.
You did mention she's in jail, so--
- Well she was in jail awaiting trial.
- Hmm... (grunts)
- I went with B!
- You went with B? - I think she pinned
it all on Rohan.
- In the end, Rohan revealed several
holes in Jeanne's story, unmasking her
as the mastermind behind the outlandish plot.
Jeanne was sentenced to whipping,
branding, and imprisonment.
Rohan was sentenced to apologize to the Queen,
resign from his various positions,
and was henceforth banned from Versailles
when the royal couple was in residence.
- (laughs) - Pretty light.
- So he could only not be in the city
when they're there? (laughs)
- Yeah, if they show up he's gotta be like
- [Ryan] (laughs)
- So it was C.
- It was C?
- It was C.
Point for Ryan.
History point for Ryan.
- Is that the end of the questions?
- Lots of fanfare to that.
- No there may be one more question,
- So I guess we'll see here.
Rohan would leave the Bastille to cheering crowds,
as the public came to view him
as an unwitting victim in the whole messy plot,
which he kind of was.
As for the Queen, her reputation was permanently sullied
by the whole thing, with commoners swapping
conspiracy theories about her actual involvement
in the whole plot.
Did she actually buy the necklace,
and pin it on these rubes?
Was it all a plot to get back at Rohan?
This was sort of the first instance
of the public losing faith in Marie Antoinette,
and you know-- - Whoa!
- Eventually, they would
have that ol' French Revolution,
and behead her.
- That must have been-- - Oh that's right, I forgot.
- Such an ugly necklace.
- No, I think it was beautiful,
they just couldn't wear it.
- I mean, Louis the 15th commissioned it,
so maybe it was more his style?
It did say it had-- - He does seem like weird.
- Chalet-sized diamonds on it, which...
- I'd wear it.
- As for Jeanne,
that scrappy schemer with a drop of nobility
in her blood, chasing after her dream
through nefarious means, only to end up
in the slammer, well, let's have
one last shot at history points here.
Whatever happened to Jeanne la Motte?
A. She parted ways with her own head via guillotine.
- [Both] (laughing) - [Professor] B.
She escaped prison,
by dressing up as a boy.
Or C, she fell down a well
in the prison yard.
- Don't hurt yourself.
- Ryan, what's it gonna be?
- I'm gonna go with A,
seeing as she was a commoner,
I don't think they're gonna take what she did lightly.
- And Kate?
- I put B, she escaped as a boy.
But I think it was C.
But I didn't write that.
- I would love for it to be C.
- Point to Kate!
She dressed up as a boy
and escaped prison! Yeah!
- Can you believe it?
- I can't believe that!
That's insane-- - Yeah...
- I thought there was no chance
that one was right. - She just kinda...
A lot of people think that maybe
she did have friends in high places
who after the whole thing played out
felt kinda bad for her
and arranged for her to be able
to escape, but once she escaped,
they never really bothered
to haul her back in.
So she kinda had
a bit of a happy ending.
Wrote a huge memoir that was--
- Best seller?
- Pretty much everyone in this story
wrote their own memoir--
- And told their story of the event.
- So it was crazy!
That concludes our history lesson,
I'm going to go tally up the scores,
to see who receives the Coveted Cup,
and the title of "History Master".
While I do that, please enjoy
this special performance from, oh!
It's the infamous diamond necklace!
- Oh God. - What? (laughs)
- [Ryan] Alright.
- [Kate] I'm so excited.
(puppet whooshing) - Hey, everyone.
(grungy pop-rock music) - (laughs)
- It's me!
- You gotta be kidding me.
- The pile of diamonds!
- Yeah, it's me!
That big pile of diamonds!
♪ Well, I'm that pricy ice ♪
♪ Oh, but I'd look so nice ♪
♪ Around that neck ♪
♪ Marie Antoinette ♪
♪ She didn't want me ♪
♪ She told me to my face ♪
♪ That I was ugly ♪
♪ But I guess in the end ♪
♪ I got the upper hand ♪
♪ Because they didn't cut my head off ♪
♪ And sure they hacked me into tiny pieces ♪
♪ A devastating thing for all my nieces ♪
♪ And yes, necklaces can have nieces ♪
♪ When they're anthropomorphic ♪
♪ I was just a pile of jewels ♪
♪ Made Rohan look like a fool ♪
♪ But a fella should know better ♪
♪ Than to trust a simple letter ♪
♪ So I guess if there's a lesson ♪
♪ To this whole back-stabbin' mess, then ♪
♪ It's that if you think you know the Queen ♪
♪ To make sure that you know the Queen! ♪
♪ Like, has she ever talked to you ♪
♪ Or looked at you ♪
♪ Or smiled at you ♪
♪ Or even seemed to think of you? ♪
♪ Or met you in the daytime? ♪
♪ Maybe ask her for her license ♪
♪ Or to pose with today's paper ♪
♪ And if she doesn't want to ♪
♪ Then, my dude, I think it ain't her ♪
- That was actually pretty,
not that bad. - This is so good!
- That was actually not that bad!
- Oh my God!
- The stack of diamonds has bars!
- Wow that guy was really good!
- Yeah! (laughs)
- What a songwriter!
- Don't compliment yourself--
- You son of a-- - (laughs)
- Well, let's see how we did,
tallying up the scores.
Ryan and Kate,
you both made it out
It's a tie!
- Is there no sudden death?
- No there's no sudden death, you share it!
- You can have it, Ryan.
- We can just hold it, like this.
(logo shines) - Is it full of jellybeans?
- It is. - Yeah!
- They're actually pretty good.
- Sure it is!
- I love jellybeans.
- I know.
- Thanks for watching "Puppet History" everybody,
we'll see you next time!
- Ooh, I got a root beer one!
- Kate, thank you for being here!
- Oh, I had so much fun.
I learned so much!
(goofy marching band music)