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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: The Philadelphia Story

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CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

TRACY!

TRACY!

TRACY!

TRACY!

TRACY!

HOW DO YOU SPELL "OMELET"?

OH, YOU!

94 FOR THE CEREMONY, AND 506 FOR THE RECEPTION.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE'LL PUT THEM IF IT RAINS.

IT WON'T RAIN. TRACY WON'T STAND FOR IT.

MOTHER, HOW DO YOU SPELL "OMELET"?

O-M-M-E-L-E-T.

I THOUGHT THERE WAS ANOTHER "L."

THAT'S A FUNNY WEDDING PRESENT--AN OMELET.

IT WAS A DISH, DEAR, A SILVER DISH.

BRING SOME OF THAT JUNK OFF THE TABLE.

MOTHER, BE AN ANGEL AND GET THESE OUT OF THE WAY.

YES, DARLING.

THIS STINKS.

DON'T SAY STINKS, DARLING.

IF ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY, SMELLS.

BUT ONLY IF ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.

THESE CARDS HAVE BEEN CHANGED AGAIN.

THERE MUST BE A GHOST LOOSE IN THE HOUSE,

MAYBE THE GHOST OF BRIDEGROOM NUMBER ONE.

DON'T TALK ABOUT DEXTER AS THOUGH HE WERE DEAD.

HE MIGHT AS WELL BE FOR ALL TRACY CARES.

OH, I WOULDN'T SAY THAT.

IF I NEVER SEE MR. C.K. DEXTER HAVEN AGAIN, I'LL--

ISN'T THAT AWFUL?

FRIENDS OF YOUR FATHER'S.

WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT. WHAT ARE THEY,

TAP DANCERS OR MUSICAL COMEDY PRODUCERS?

THAT'S HARDLY FAIR TO YOUR FATHER'S INTEREST

IN THE ARTS.

ART, MY EYE. THE ART OF PUTTING UP $100,000

TO DISPLAY THE SHAPELY LEGS--

THAT WILL DO, TRACY.

OH, I GIVE UP.

IF YOU'D JUST FACE THE FACTS,

SQUARELY AS I DID...

WE BOTH MIGHT FACE THE FACT THAT NEITHER OF US

HAS PROVED TO BE A GREAT SUCCESS AS A WIFE.

WE JUST PICKED THE WRONG FIRST HUSBANDS, THAT'S ALL.

DON'T LET'S ARGUE ABOUT IT.

YOU WANTED ME TO TAKE A STAND. I'VE TAKEN IT.

IT'S THE ONLY STAND A WOMAN COULD TAKE

AND KEEP HER SELF-RESPECT.

YES, DEAR, I KNOW.

NOW I HAVE MY SELF-RESPECT AND NO HUSBAND.

YOU ALMOST TALK AS THOUGH YOU WANTED HIM BACK.

HE WOULDN'T COME BACK, PROBABLY.

HEY, IT'S BETTER THIS WAY.

REALLY. YOU'LL SEE.

LET'S FORGET ABOUT THE PAST.

WE BOTH DESERVE SOME HAPPINESS NOW,

ESPECIALLY YOU.

ISN'T GEORGE AN ANGEL?

GEORGE IS AN ANGEL.

IS HE HANDSOME, OR IS HE NOT?

GEORGE IS HANDSOME.

I LIKE DEXTER.

WHY DON'T YOU POSTPONE THE WEDDING?

HOW?

GET SMALLPOX.

DON'T PUT THE IDEA IN HER HEAD.

GEORGE ISN'T USUALLY LATE.

HE'S WAITING FOR US AT THE STABLES.

MOTHER, IF I DON'T CHOKE HER BEFORE SATURDAY...

IT'D POSTPONE THE WEDDING, WOULDN'T IT?

NO. BE IN THE CAR WHEN I GET DOWN.

SHE'S SO MEAN ABOUT DEXTER.

HE WAS RATHER MEAN TO HER, DEAR.

DID HE REALLY SOCK HER?

PLEASE, DINAH.

DID HE, REALLY?

DARLING, GO WAIT IN THE CAR.

WELL, THE PAPERS WERE FULL ON INNUNDO.

OF WHAT?

OF INNUNDO.

CRUELTY AND DRUNKENNESS, IT SAID.

MOTHER, WHY WON'T TRACY ASK HER OWN FATHER

TO THE WEDDING?

YOUR SISTER HAS VERY DEFINITE OPINIONS

ABOUT CERTAIN THINGS.

SHE'S SORT OF... WELL, YOU KNOW,

HARD, ISN'T SHE?

CERTAINLY NOT.

TRACY SETS EXCEPTIONALLY HIGH STANDARDS

FOR HERSELF, THAT'S ALL,

AND OTHER PEOPLE AREN'T ALWAYS QUITE APT

TO LIVE UP TO THEM.

BUT DON'T YOU THINK IT'S STINKING

NOT AT LEAST TO WANT FATHER?

YES, DARLING.

BETWEEN OURSELVES,

I THINK IT'S GOOD AND STINKING.

OH, I WISH SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN.

NOTHING EVER POSSIBLY IN THE LEAST EVER HAPPENS HERE.

MOTHER?

HOW DO YOU GET SMALLPOX?

OH, DINAH, PLEASE GO.

GO.

THIS IS UNCLE WILLIE'S FAVORITE--

COMPLETE SURRENDER.

OH.

WHERE'D YOU GET THIS IDIOTIC THING, ANYWAY?

HEY!

NEVER PLAY WITH FIRE, CHILD,

PARTICULARLY ON THE EVE OF YOUR WEDDING.

YOU'RE REALLY A WICKED OLD MAN, UNCLE WILLIE.

WHO TAKES THIS, ANYWAY, YOUR COOK?

I LOVE IT. IT'S GOT PICTURES OF EVERYTHING.

IT CERTAINLY HAS.

WHO IS THAT TERRIBLY ATTRACTIVE MAN?

CAN TRACY PICK THEM, OR CAN SHE?

IF YOU'RE ASKING ME--

I'M NOT.

HELLO, DARLING.

HELLO.

WELL, HOW DO YOU LIKE ME?

I ADORE YOU, BUT YOU LOOK AWFUL.

YOU LOOK LIKE SOMETHING RIGHT OUT OF A SHOP WINDOW.

OH, TRACY, I--

HEY! WHAT--OUCH!

SAY, CUT IT OUT! THEY'RE NEW.

THAT'S JUST IT. THERE. THAT'S BETTER.

I DON'T GET IT.

WHEN I WAS A COAL MINER,

THE IDEA WAS TO BUY CLEAN CLOTHES.

NOW THAT I'M GENERAL MANAGER--

DINAH, ANYTHING IN THERE ABOUT THE WEDDING?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU BEING

ONE OF THE OLDEST FAMILIES IN PHILADELPHIA

AND ME GETTING FAIRLY IMPORTANT MYSELF--

IT'S LUCK, OF COURSE, BUT I--

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

"AN AVERAGE DAY

"IN THE LIFE OF A CONGRESSMAN--

"THE CONGRESSMAN'S WIFE; THE KITCHEN,

"WHERE IS PREPARED ONE BANANA, SLICED,

"TWO FRIED EGGS.

CONGRESSMAN KISSES HIS WIFE GOOD MORNING."

LOTS OF PEOPLE LIKE PUBLICITY.

OF ALL THE FILTHY IDEAS,

COMING INTO A PRIVATE HOUSE WITH A CAMERA.

GEORGE KITTREDGE, YOU GET ON THAT HORSE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I DECIDED TO GO INTO POLITICS?

YOU'D BE ELECTED PRESIDENT.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. I MEAN ABOUT PUBLICITY.

NOT IN MY HOME.

YOU MEAN OUR HOME, DON'T YOU?

SORRY, DARLING.

I MEAN VERY MUCH OUR HOME.

NEVER MIND, EDDIE. I'LL GET UP MYSELF.

NOW, STEADY, BESSIE.

WHOA, BESSIE.

WHOA.

THAT'S A-- WHOA, BESSIE! WHOA!

HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE. WHOA.

WHOA.

NOW, ST-- STEADY, BESSIE.

GRAB THE REINS, GEORGE, WITH THE LEFT HAND.

PUT SALT ON HIS TAIL.

SHUT UP.

STEADY, BESSIE. THERE.

WHOA, WHOA, BESSIE. WHOA. WHOA.

WHAT'S THE MATTER, BESSIE?

YOU--YOU ACT WORRIED.

MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE HIS NAME IS JACK.

HEIGH-HO, SILVER.

HELLO, JOE.

HI, MIKE.

LIZ, I'M GOING TO TELL SIDNEY KIDD I'M A WRITER.

I'M NOT A SOCIETY SNOOP.

I'LL TELL HIM JUST THAT.

JUST THAT.

LET KIDD FIRE ME!

I'LL START WRITING SHORT STORIES AGAIN.

THAT'S WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING.

I'LL TELL HIM JUST THAT.

JUST THAT.

[KNOCKING]

COME IN.

YOU'RE NOT BEING FAIR TO ME, MR. KIDD.

YOU'RE TREATING ME LIKE

YOU TREAT ALL YOUR OTHER WRITERS.

YOU REALLY HATE ME, DON'T YOU, CONNOR?

NO. I DON'T LIKE YOU VERY MUCH.

YOU HATE ME, I TRUST, MISS IMBRIE?

NO. I CAN'T AFFORD TO HATE ANYBODY.

I'M ONLY A PHOTOGRAPHER.

[INTERCOM BUZZES]

ASK HIM TO WAIT.

NOW--

YOUR ASSIGNMENT WILL BE

SPY'S MOST SENSATIONAL ACHIEVEMENT.

TRACY LORD--

BIG-GAME HUNTING IN AFRICA,

FOX HUNTING IN PENNSYLVANIA,

MARRIED ON IMPULSE AND DIVORCED IN A RAGE,

AND ALWAYS UNAPPROACHABLE BY THE PRESS.

THE UNAPPROACHABLE MISS LORD...

THE PHILADELPHIA STORY--

"CLOSE TO THE PORTALS OF SNOBBISH FOX HUNTING." NO.

"NO HUNTER OF FOXES IS SPY MAGAZINE."

ANYWAY, PRESENT IT FOR THE FIRST TIME,

QUOTE,

"A WEDDING DAY INSIDE MAINLINE SOCIETY."

"OR WHAT THE KITCHEN MAID SAW THROUGH THE KEYHOLE."

UNQUOTE.

GO AHEAD, CONNOR. WRITING'S YOUR JOB.

I'M ONLY THE PUBLISHER.

ALL RIGHT, PUBLISHER, TAKE THIS--

QUOTE, "NO HUNTER OF BUCKSHOT IN THE REAR

IS CAGEY, CRAFTY CONNOR."

UNQUOTE, CLOSE PARAGRAPH.

CLOSE JOB, CLOSE BANK ACCOUNT.

MR. KIDD, HOW CAN WE GET INSIDE THE LORD ESTATE,

LET ALONE THE HOUSE?

WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO IT, LIZ.

DOGGONE IT, IT'S DEGRADING. IT'S UNDIGNIFIED.

SO IS AN EMPTY STOMACH.

HOW DO WE GET IN?

ASK THE GENTLEMAN TO COME IN.

I UNDERSTAND WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER.

QUITE.

THIS GENTLEMAN HAS BEEN EMPLOYED

IN OUR BUENOS AIRES OFFICE.

HE CAME YESTERDAY ON THE CLIPPER.

HE CAN HELP WITH OUR PROBLEM.

HOW?

TRACY LORD'S BROTHER JUNIUS

IS IN THE AMERICAN EMBASSY THERE.

HE'S AN OLD FRIEND OF THIS GENTLEMAN'S.

HE'LL INTRODUCE YOU TO THE LORDS

AS INTIMATE FRIENDS OF JUNIUS.

DEAR OLD JUNIUS.

THIS TRACY LORD-- SHE KNOW YOU?

YOU MIGHT SAY MISS LORD AND I GREW UP TOGETHER.

YOU MIGHT ALSO SAY

YOU WERE HER FIRST HUSBAND.

YES, YOU MIGHT.

HOLY MACKEREL. WHAT GOES ON HERE?

I REMEMBER YOUR HONEYMOON VERY WELL.

YOU AND SHE ON A LITTLE SAILBOAT--

THE TRUE LOVE, WASN'T IT?

THAT'S RIGHT. HOW DID YOU KNOW?

I WAS THE ONLY PHOTOGRAPHER

WHOSE CAMERA YOU DIDN'T SMASH.

YOU WERE TERRIBLY NICE ABOUT IT.

YOU THREW IT IN THE OCEAN.

OH, ONE OF THOSE, HUH?

YES, I HAD THE STRANGE IDEA

OUR HONEYMOON WAS OUR BUSINESS.

HE PAID FOR ALL THE CAMERAS.

I GOT A NICE LETTER OF APOLOGY, TOO.

ALWAYS THE GENTLEMAN, HUH?

EXCEPT ON OCCASION.

NOW, WHAT ARE THE PLANS?

THE WEDDING IS SATURDAY. TODAY IS THURSDAY.

THEY SHOULD SPEND TOMORROW NIGHT

AS GUESTS OF THE LORDS.

NOW, LISTEN, THERE'S SOMETHING SCREWY HERE.

NOW, IF YOU'VE RESIGNED,

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS, UNLESS--

OHH. OH, YOU WANT TO GET EVEN WITH YOUR EX-BRIDE.

I'LL HAVE A CAR PICK THEM UP AT NOON TOMORROW

IN NORTH PHILADELPHIA.

MIKE, THERE'S A LITTLE SPIT IN YOUR EYE.

IT SHOWS.

MAYBE THEY'D RATHER WE USE

THE SERVANTS' ENTRANCE.

MAYBE THIS IS THE SERVANTS' ENTRANCE.

GOOD MORNING, EDWARD.

WHY, MR. HAVEN, SIR.

IS MRS. HAVEN--

I MEAN, MISS TRACY-- OR HER MOTHER IN?

THEY MAY BE DOWN AT THE SWIMMING POOL.

SHALL I ANNOUNCE YOU?

I'LL GO AROUND AND SURPRISE THEM.

IT WILL INDEED BE A SURPRISE.

THESE ARE FRIENDS OF MR. JUNIUS.

HAVE THEM WAIT IN THE SOUTH PARLOR.

CERTAINLY, MR. HAVEN.

EXCUSE ME, SIR.

THE SOUTH PARLOR?

MISS IMBRIE, THE SOUTH PARLOR.

THE QUEEN WILL HAVE BREAD AND HONEY AT THE USUAL TIME.

[CLICK]

SEEMS A LITTLE COLD FOR THE SOUTH PARLOR.

I RATHER EXPECTED TO FIND

PICKANINNIES AND BANJOS.

WHAT'S THIS ROOM?

I FORGOT MY COMPASS.

WELL, THIS WOULD BE

SOUTH-SOUTHWEST PARLOR BY LIVING ROOM.

KNICKKNACKS, GIMCRACKS, SIGNED PHOTOGRAPHS.

WOULDN'T YOU KNOW

YOU'D HAVE TO BE RICH AS THE LORDS

TO LIVE IN A DUMP LIKE THIS?

I WOULDN'T LIVE IN IT IF THEY PAID ME.

THEY WON'T.

LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE RUNNING A HOCK SHOP ON THE SIDE.

WELL, I-I--

JUST LOOKING AROUND.

[CLICK]

I'LL WANT YOUR FINGERPRINTS FOR THIS.

W-WHAT'S THIS... THIS GUY HAVEN UP TO?

C.K. DEXTER HAVEN.

YEAH. WHAT KIND OF A NAME IS THAT, ANYWAY--

C.K. DEXTER HAVEN?

WELL, MACAULAY CONNOR IS NO HOMESPUN TAG, MY PET.

WELL, YOU JUST TRY CALLING ME MACAULAY.

I KNEW A PLAIN JOE SMITH ONCE.

HE WAS ONLY A CLERK IN A HARDWARE STORE,

BUT HE WAS AN ABSOLUTE RAT.

HUH?

HUH.

C.K. DEXTER HAVEN.

HE PLAYS POLO.

HE DESIGNS SAILBOATS-- CLASS BOATS,

VERY UPPER-CLASS.

OH, DON'T DESPAIR.

HE'S OUT, AND KITTREDGE, MAN OF THE PEOPLE, IS IN.

QUITE A COMER, TOO, I UNDERSTAND.

POLITICAL TIMBER.

POOR GUY. WONDER HOW HE FELL FOR IT.

UH-OH. LIZ, WHAT DID I TELL YOU?

HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS?

"LIVING ROOM, SITTING ROOM, TERRACE,

POOL, STABLES."

SO THEY CAN TALK TO THE HORSES WITHOUT HAVING THEM INSIDE.

DON'T, MIKE.

[BUZZ]

YES?

THIS IS THE BRIDAL SUITE.

SEND UP A COUPLE CAVIAR SANDWICHES AND SOME BEER.

WHAT? WHO IS THIS?

THIS IS THE VOICE OF DOOM CALLING.

YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED

TILL THE SEVENTH SON OF THE SEVENTH SON.

HELLO? HELLO?

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

ONE OF THE SERVANTS HAS BEEN AT THE SHERRY AGAIN.

[WHISTLING]

[DINAH] DEXTER!

DEXTER, YOU'VE COME BACK!

[DEXTER] AHH, DINAH, MY DREAMGIRL.

WHAT IN THE NAME OF...

OH, NO. IT CAN'T BE.

HE WENT TO SOUTH AMERICA FOR TWO YEARS.

EDWARD SAID THEY WERE AT THE SWIMMING POOL.

THEY SEEM TO BE HERE.

DEXTER, DON'T YOU KNOW

THAT TOMORROW IS THE WEDDING?

OH, THAT'S RIGHT. SO IT IS.

YOU CAN GO RIGHT BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM.

CAN'T. DINAH SAYS IT'S TOO AWFUL HERE WITHOUT ME.

HELLO, YOU SWEET THING.

RED, YOU LOOK IN THE PINK.

NOW, LOOK, YOU DON'T THINK

I'D MISS YOUR WEDDING, DO YOU?

DEXTER, YOU-- YOU WOULDN'T.

I'M NOT SO SURE HE WOULDN'T.

NO, MOTHER LORD, I ASSURE YOU I WOULDN'T.

WHEN DID YOU ARRIVE? TELL US ABOUT JUNIUS.

SURE. DON'T BOTHER TO OPEN YOUR HOUSE.

STAY HERE. WE'RE HAVING NO HOUSE GUESTS.

NO? HOW ABOUT THE GROOM?

HE'S STAYING AT THE GATEHOUSE.

OH, THAT'S GOOD.

WELL, JUNIUS IS FINE.

HE SHOULD BE HERE.

HE'S HEARTBROKEN.

I SHOULD REPRESENT HIM AS BEST MAN.

GEORGE MIGHT PREFER

TO HAVE HIS BEST MAN SOBER.

I WISH YOU'D REPRESENT GEORGE.

THAT'S MY LOYAL LITTLE GIRL.

YOU'LL LIKE THE PEOPLE JUNIUS SENT.

YOU HAVEN'T SWITCHED FROM LIQUOR TO DOPE,

HAVE YOU, DEXTER?

THE PEOPLE JUNIUS DID SEND, DID YOU SAY?

YOU DON'T KNOW MACAULAY CONNOR

OR ELIZABETH IMBRIE, DO YOU?

WE CAN FINISH THESE LATER, MOTHER.

I BETTER COME INTRODUCE YOU.

INTRODUCE ME TO WHOM?

TO MISS IMBRIE AND MR. CONNOR.

TELL THEM WHICH ROOMS THEY'RE TO HAVE.

MR. CONNOR WANTS TO KNOW WHETHER TO WEAR

A BLACK TIE OR WHITE THIS EVENING.

ROOMS?

I'D BETTER START FROM THE BEGINNING.

THEY'RE FRIENDS OF JUNIUS.

THEY EXPECT TO STAY HERE OVER THE WEDDING?

THAT'S VERY QUEER, INDEED.

IT'S QUEERER THAN THAT. IT'S PARANOIAC.

IT WAS JUNIUS' IDEA.

YOU'RE LYING, DEXTER. I CAN ALWAYS TELL.

CAN YOU, RED?

BUT, DEAR, IF THEY'RE JUNIUS' FRIENDS--

YOU WENT TO WORK AFTER THE DIVORCE, DIDN'T YOU?

EXCEPT FOR BRIEF INTERLUDES IN ALCOHOLIC SANITARIUMS.

YOU WORKED IN SOUTH AMERICA. WHO FOR?

A MAGAZINE.

IT WASN'T BY CHANCE SPY MAGAZINE?

YOU ARE A MASS OF INTUITION.

I DON'T SUPPOSE THEY'RE PHOTOGRAPHERS.

I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D SINK TO THIS.

I'M TELEPHONING JUNIUS.

WAIT, RED, WAIT.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELEPHONE JUNIUS.

I'LL CONFESS.

NO, YOU'RE SLIPPING, RED.

I USED TO BE AFRAID OF THAT LOOK--

THE WITHERING GLANCE OF THE GODDESS.

I DIDN'T THINK THAT ALCOHOL WOULD--

OH, SHUT UP.

DINAH, STAY HERE.

OH, PLEASE, MOTHER.

MAYBE HE'S GOING TO SOCK HER AGAIN.

DON'T SAY SOCK. STRIKE IS AN UGLY ENOUGH WORD.

WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE,

BARGING IN ON PEACEFUL PEOPLE?

SHUSH. THEY'LL THINK YOU DON'T WANT THEM.

I WANT THEM OUT AND YOU, TOO.

YES, YOUR MAJESTY, BUT FIRST,

COULD I INTEREST YOU IN SOME SMALL BLACKMAIL?

NO.

IT'S AN ARTICLE COMPLETE WITH SNAPSHOTS,

DETAILS, AND INSINUATIONS.

IT'S READY FOR PUBLICATION IN SPY.

IT'S ABOUT YOUR FATHER

AND THAT DANCER IN NEW YORK.

ABOUT FATHER AND TINA MORROW?

NOW, QUIET. DINAH.

BUT THEY CAN'T.

WELL, THEY CAN'T, EVEN IF IT'S TRUE.

WHERE DO YOU GET THESE?

FROM SIDNEY KIDD, THE EDITOR AND PUBLISHER.

HE'S GOT TO BE STOPPED.

WELL, HE IS, TEMPORARILY.

THAT IS, IF YOU'LL ALLOW THOSE TWO

TO TURN IN A STORY ON YOUR WEDDING.

WHEN KIDD SAYS A STORY, HE MEANS A STORY.

I'M GOING TO BE SICK.

AN INTIMATE DAY WITH A SOCIETY BRIDE.

I AM SICK.

WELL, IT'S TOUGH,

BUT THAT'S THE WAY IT SEEMS TO BE.

SO I'M TO BE EXAMINED, UNDRESSED, AND HUMILIATED

AT 15 CENTS A COPY,

AND YOU, YOU'RE LOVING IT.

AM I, RED?

WELL, MOTHER, WE'RE HOOKED.

ARE THEY REALLY REPORTERS?

NOT EVEN FRIENDS OF JUNIUS?

WE'RE TO PRETEND THEY ARE.

BUT WHY?

DON'T ASK ME.

THERE'S A GOOD REASON, AND IT'S MY WEDDING.

I'LL BET IT'S FATHER AND THAT DANCER IN NEW YORK.

DINAH, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

OH, I LISTEN AROUND.

IS THERE NO SUCH THING AS PRIVACY ANYMORE?

ONLY IN BED, MOTHER, AND NOT ALWAYS THERE.

JOTTING DOWN NOTES ON HOW WE EAT AND MOVE.

WILL THEY DO THAT?

AND ALL IN THAT SNIDE CORKSCREW ENGLISH.

IF WE HAVE TO SUBMIT TO SAVE FATHER'S FACE,

WHICH, INCIDENTALLY, DOESN'T DESERVE IT,

I'M GIVING THEM A PICTURE OF HOME LIFE

THAT'LL STAND THEIR HAIR ON END.

NO, TRACY. WE MUST JUST BE OURSELVES,

VERY MUCH OURSELVES.

YOU WANT US TO CREATE A GOOD IMPRESSION.

THEY DON'T KNOW THAT WE KNOW WHAT THEY'RE HERE FOR.

OH, NO, DEAR. THAT WAS UNDERSTOOD.

THE GIRL'S QUITE NICE.

HE WRITES SHORT STORIES, VERY DOWN-TO-EARTH.

THEY'LL LOVE US.

YOU BOTH BETTER DRESS. PROMISE TO BEHAVE LIKE LADIES

IN FRONT OF THESE CREATURES.

WE'LL DO OUR BEST, MRS. LORD.

I DON'T KNOW HOW GOOD THAT IS.

DEXTER, HOW PERFECTLY DREADFUL,

AND WHAT WILL THEY SAY ABOUT SETH

NOT BEING HERE FOR HIS OWN DAUGHTER'S WEDDING?

I KNOW, DARLING.

COME ON.

GO AND TELL THEM HOW TERRIBLY HAPPY

WE ARE TO HAVE THEM.

THAT'S THE OLD QUAKER SPIRIT, MOTHER LORD.

NOW, KEEP SWINGING.

OH. I THOUGHT IT WAS THAT BUTLER.

THE FAMILY WILL WELCOME YOU IN A MOMENT.

WHAT WITH?

WITH OPEN ARMS.

THEY'RE TERRIBLY HAPPY TO HAVE FRIENDS OF JUNIUS.

THEY DON'T KNOW ABOUT US, DO THEY?

WHY SHOULD THEY?

LOOK, HAVEN,

OUR RESEARCH DEPARTMENT DIDN'T GIVE US MUCH DATA.

THIS FIANCE OF THIS GIRL-- GEORGE KITTREDGE, AGE 32.

YOU KNOW HIM VERY WELL?

WELL ENOUGH.

GENERAL MANAGER, QUAKER STATE COAL.

CONTROLLING INTEREST OWNED BY SETH LORD.

THAT'S THE GIRL'S FATHER.

WHAT A COINCIDENCE.

HOW'D HE MEET HER?

HEAVEN BROUGHT THEM TOGETHER, I IMAGINE.

UH, SETH LORD--

"SEE BANKERS' ANNUAL DIRECTORY OF DIRECTORS."

IS THERE A LIBRARY IN TOWN?

YES.

I SUPPOSE YOU WOULDN'T KNOW WHERE THAT IS.

WELL, ROUGHLY. MY GRANDFATHER BUILT IT.

NOW, ABOUT THIS GIRL-- TRACY SAMANTHA LORD.

WHAT ABOUT HER?

WELL, WHAT'S HER LEADING CHARACTERISTIC?

SHE HAS A HORROR

OF MEN WHO WEAR THEIR HATS IN THE HOUSE.

LEADING CHARACTERISTICS TO BE FILLED IN LATER.

I CAN FILL THEM IN RIGHT NOW--

THE YOUNG, RICH, RAPACIOUS AMERICAN FEMALE.

NO OTHER COUNTRY WHERE SHE EXISTS.

AND WOULD I CHANGE PLACES WITH TRACY SAMANTHA LORD

FOR ALL HER WEALTH AND BEAUTY?

OH, BOY, JUST ASK ME.

WELL, TELL FOUR FOOTMEN TO CALL ME

IN TIME FOR LUNCH.

[FOOTSTEPS]

AHH!

HOW DO YOU DO?

FRIENDS OF MY BROTHER JUNIUS, ARE YOU NOT?

NO, I--W-WE--

I AM DINAH LORD.

MY REAL NAME IS DIANA, BUT TRACY CHANGED IT.

I'M ELIZABETH IMBRIE. THIS IS MACAULAY CONNOR.

ENCHANTEE DE VOUS VOIR.

ENCHANTEE DE FAIRE VOTRE CONNAISSANCE!

I SPOKE FRENCH BEFORE I SPOKE ENGLISH.

I SPENT MY CHILDHOOD IN PARIS, WHERE MY FATHER WORKED--

THE HOUSE OF MORGAN.

REALLY?

C'EST VRAI, ABSOLUTEMENT.

CAN YOU PLAY THE PIANO?

I CAN, AND SING AT THE SAME TIME. LISTEN.

LYDIA, OH, LYDIA

SAY, HAVE YOU MET LYDIA? ♪

OH, LYDIA, THE TATTOOED LADY

SHE HAS EYES THAT FOLKS ADORE SO

AND A TORSO EVEN MORE SO

LYDIA... ♪

WHAT IS THIS?

IDIOT, PROBABLY.

♪ ...THE QUEEN OF TATTOO

ON HER BACK IS THE BATTLE OF WATERLOO

BESIDE IT THE WRECK OF THE HESPERUS, TOO

AND PROUDLY ABOVE WAVES THE RED, WHITE, AND BLUE

YOU CAN LEARN A LOT FROM LYDIA ♪♪

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

...LE SMALLPOX.

SMALLPOX?

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

OHH, HOW DO YOU DO?

I'M TRACY LORD.

IT'S SO NICE HAVING YOU HERE.

HOW DID YOU LEAVE JUNIUS?

OH, WE LEFT JUNIUS FINE.

THAT LITTLE SISTER OF YOURS--

ISN'T SHE A DEAR? SO TALENTED.

JUNIUS IS SUCH A LAMB, ISN'T HE?

YES, ISN'T HE?

PITY NONE OF THE MALES OF THE FAMILY

ARE HERE TO WELCOME YOU.

WHERE'S YOUR FATHER?

DARLING PAPA.

I DO HOPE YOU'LL STAY FOR MY WEDDING.

WE'D LIKE TO VERY MUCH.

THAT WAS OUR IDEA.

I'M SO GLAD THAT IT OCCURRED TO YOU.

THE HOUSE IS RATHER A MESS, OF COURSE.

WE'LL HAVE TO OVERFLOW ONTO THE PORCH.

HA HA. I HOPE YOUR ROOMS ARE COMFORTABLE.

YOUR FATHER SICK?

WHAT A CUNNING LITTLE CAMERA.

I'M AFRAID I'M AN AWFUL NUISANCE WITH IT.

I HOPE YOU'LL TAKE LOADS.

DEAR PAPA AND MAMA AREN'T ALLOWING REPORTERS IN,

THAT IS, EXCEPT FOR MR. GRACE, WHO DOES THE SOCIAL NEWS.

CAN YOU IMAGINE A GROWN-UP MAN HAVING TO SINK SO LOW?

IT DOES SEEM KIND OF BAD.

YOU'RE A KIND OF WRITER, AREN'T YOU, MR. CONNOR?

SORT OF.

A BOOK?

YEAH.

UNDER WHAT NAME DO YOU PUBLISH?

MY OWN--

MACAULAY CONNOR.

WHAT'S THE MACAULAY FOR?

WELL, MY FATHER TAUGHT ENGLISH HISTORY.

I'M MIKE TO MY FRIENDS.

OF WHOM YOU HAVE MANY, I'M SURE.

ENGLISH HISTORY, IT'S ALWAYS FASCINATED ME--

CROMWELL, ROBIN HOOD, JACK THE RIPPER.

WHERE DID HE TEACH?

I MEAN, YOUR FATHER.

OH, A LITTLE HIGH SCHOOL

IN SOUTH BEND, INDIANA.

SOUTH BEND--IT SOUNDS LIKE DANCING, DOESN'T IT?

YOU MUST HAVE HAD A MOST HAPPY CHILDHOOD THERE.

IT WAS TERRIFIC.

I'M SO GLAD.

I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY.

I'M SO SORRY. WHY?

WELL, LACK OF WHEREWITHAL, I GUESS.

THAT DOESN'T ALWAYS CAUSE UNHAPPINESS, DOES IT?

NOT IF YOU HAVE THE RIGHT KIND OF MAN.

GEORGE KITTREDGE, MY FIANCE, NEVER HAD ANYTHING.

ARE EITHER OF YOU MARRIED?

NO.

UH, NO.

YOU MEAN, YOU WERE, BUT NOW YOU'RE DIVORCED.

WELL, THE FACT IS--

SURELY YOU'RE NOT ASHAMED OF IT.

OF COURSE I'M NOT ASHAMED OF IT.

WHAT?

I WAS ONLY A KID IN DULUTH.

LIZ, YOU NEVER TOLD ME.

YOU NEVER ASKED ME.

I KNOW, BUT YOU...

JOE SMITH. HARDWARE.

WELL, YOU'RE THE DARNEDEST GIRL, LIZ.

I THINK I'M SWEET.

DULUTH--THAT MUST BE A LOVELY SPOT.

WEST OF HERE, ISN'T IT?

SORT OF, BUT OCCASIONALLY WE GET THE BREEZES.

AND THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT IN PHILADELPHIA.

IT'S A QUAINT PLACE, FILLED WITH RELICS.

HOW OLD ARE YOU, MR. CONNOR?

30.

ONE BOOK ISN'T MUCH FOR A MAN OF 30.

I DON'T MEAN TO CRITICIZE.

YOU PROBABLY HAVE OTHER INTERESTS OUTSIDE YOUR WORK.

NONE. I MEAN, UNLESS...

HOW SWEET.

ARE YOU... GOING TOGETHER?

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

THAT IS AN ODD QUESTION, I MUST SAY.

WELL, I DON'T SEE WHY. I THINK IT'S VERY INTERESTING.

MISS IMBRIE, DON'T YOU AGREE THAT

IF A MAN SAYS HE LOVES A GIRL, HE OUGHT TO MARRY HER?

CAN SHE BE HUMAN?

PLEASE, MR. CONNOR,

I ASKED MISS IMBRIE A QUESTION.

WELL, THAT DEPENDS. I--

I'LL SEE WHAT'S KEEPING MAMA.

LOOK, WHO'S DOING THE INTERVIEWING HERE?

YOU DON'T SUPPOSE SHE CAUGHT ON SOMEHOW?

NO. SHE WAS BORN THAT WAY.

DON'T LET HER THROW YOU.

DO YOU WANT TO TAKE OVER?

I WANT TO GO HOME.

AH, HERE YOU ARE.

HOW DO YOU DO? WE'RE SO HAPPY TO HAVE YOU.

FORGIVE ME FOR NOT COMING IN SOONER.

THINGS ARE IN SUCH A STATE.

MY LITTLE GIRL.

SHE'S GOING TO LEAVE ME. AREN'T YOU PRETTY, MY DEAR?

BUT THEN JUNIUS' FRIENDS ALWAYS ARE.

LOOK AT THE WAY SHE WEARS HER HAIR.

ISN'T IT PRETTY?

MIGHTY FINE.

SHALL WE HAVE SHERRY ON THE PORCH?

AND THIS IS MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER DIANA.

YEAH. I THINK WE'VE MET.

I DO WISH MY HUSBAND WERE HERE TO GREET YOU.

WE EXPECT HIM PRESENTLY.

HE'S BEEN DETAINED ON BUSINESS

FOR THAT LOVELY DANCER TINA MORROW.

DO YOU KNOW HER WORK?

WELL, NOT PROFESSIONALLY.

SO TALENTED, BUT LIKE MANY ARTISTS,

NO BUSINESS HEAD!

I HAVE SOME LOVELY PRESENTS.

DON'T YOU THINK SO, MR. CONNOR?

HELLO, EVERYBODY.

I HOPE I'M NOT LATE.

YOU'RE NEVER LATE, GEORGE.

WE HAVE SUCH A LOVELY SURPRISE.

JUNIUS HAS SENT US THESE TWO DEAR PEOPLE

AS A WEDDING PRESENT.

MR. KITTREDGE, THIS IS MISS...

IMBRIE.

ANY FRIEND OF JUNIUS IS A FRIEND OF MINE.

AND MISTER...

CONNOR.

MACAULAY CONNOR.

HE'S A WRITER.

DON'T APOLOGIZE.

NO APOLOGY NECESSARY.

I HAVE GREAT RESPECT FOR WRITERS.

WELL, THANK YOU.

HOW ARE YOU, DEAR?

MUCH BETTER NOW THAT YOU'RE HERE.

THIS MUST BE LOVE.

YOUR GUESS IS CORRECT.

I'M HIS FAITHFUL OLD DOG TRAY.

GIVE ME YOUR PAW.

YOU'VE GOT IT.

[LIZ] HOW SWEET.

I'D LIKE TO SEE ONE OF THOSE, MISS IMBRIE.

YOU WILL.

SHALL WE HAVE SOME SHERRY?

I SUPPOSE JUNIUS HAS TOLD YOU ALL

ABOUT OUR FAMILY.

PAPA!

WHAT?

DEAR PAPA!

YOU ANGEL TO GET HERE IN TIME FOR LUNCH.

ISN'T HE, MAMA?

FATHER, THESE ARE OUR FRIENDS

MISS IMBRIE AND MR. CONNOR.

HOW ARE YOU, MR. LORD?

FINE, THANK YOU. HOW ARE YOU?

HOW DO YOU DO?

HOW DO YOU DO?

HIYA, POPS.

OH, DEAR DINAH.

FATHER, HERE'S GEORGE.

HELLO, KITTREDGE. MARGARET, MY SWEET.

ANOTHER PLACE FOR LUNCHEON, EDWARD.

[EDWARD] VERY GOOD, MADAM.

WELL, HA HA! HERE I AM.

IN THE BOSOM OF MY...

HELLO, FRIENDS AND ENEMIES.

YOUNG MAN, REMOVE YOURSELF.

HOW ARE YOU, SIR?

I DON'T KNOW. GET ALONG, GET ALONG.

I CHANGED MY MIND. I'LL STAY FOR LUNCH.

ANOTHER PLACE, EDWARD.

HELLO, KITTREDGE.

HOW ARE YOU, HAVEN?

JUST DAMON AND PYTHIAS.

NO. GRANT AND LEE.

[CLICK]

YOU DON'T LOOK AS WELL

AS WHEN I LAST SAW YOU, KITTREDGE.

OH, YOU POOR FELLOW,

I KNOW JUST HOW YOU FEEL.

HOW'S IT COMING?

OH, BEAUTIFULLY, DEXTER.

WE'RE SO INDEBTED TO YOU FOR THESE LOVELY PEOPLE.

IT'S ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO REPAY THAT DEBT.

BUT YOU'LL MANAGE, EH, RED?

THEY GREW UP TOGETHER, YOU KNOW.

HOW NICE.

YOU DON'T LOOK OLD ENOUGH TO GET MARRIED,

NOT EVEN THE FIRST TIME.

SHE NEEDS TROUBLE TO MATURE HER, KITTREDGE.

GIVE HER LOTS OF IT.

SHE CAN'T COUNT ON ME FOR THAT.

NO? THAT'S TOO BAD.

FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, RED,

YOU SHOULD HAVE STUCK TO ME LONGER.

I THOUGHT IT WAS FOR LIFE, BUT A JUDGE PARDONED ME.

THAT'S THE OLD REDHEAD--

NO BITTERNESS, NO RECRIMINATION,

JUST A GOOD, SWIFT LEFT TO THE JAW.

[CLICK]

THEY GREW UP TOGETHER.

[EDWARD] LUNCHEON IS SERVED, MADAM.

OH, THANK YOU, EDWARD.

COME, SETH. WE HAVE SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT.

I DON'T SUPPOSE A MAN EVER HAD

A BETTER OR FINER FAMILY.

I OFTEN WAKE UP IN THE NIGHT AND SAY,

"SETH, YOU LUCKY DOG,

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO DESERVE IT ALL?"

AND WHAT HAVE YOU?

OH, THANK YOU.

OH! OHH!

HOW STUPID OF ME!

OH, DEAR, HOW AWFUL!

I HAD A FEELING THAT WOULD HAPPEN.

YOUR CAMERA! WELL, I'M SO, SO SORRY.

I'M SURE YOU ARE.

WHAT IS IT?

YOUR FATHER.

UNCLE WILLIE!

UNCLE WILLIE, HOW NICE.

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

PLEASE GO INTO LUNCH.

I WANT A WORD WITH UNCLE WILLIE.

ANOTHER PLACE, EDWARD.

I'M AFRAID I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

YOU NEVER HAVE, BUT YOU CAME ANYWAY, DIDN'T YOU?

STILL JUSTICE WITH HER SHINING SWORD, EH, DAUGHTER?

WHO'S ON THE SPOT?

WE ARE, THANKS TO YOU...

UNCLE WILLIE.

HOW LONG WILL YOU BE RESEARCHING?

NOT LONG IF I CAN FIND THE RIGHT BOOKS--

FAMILY HISTORY AND STUFF.

THERE'S A COUSIN THAT'S CRAZY.

WHO TOLD YOU?

DINAH.

COME TO MISS HOBSON'S ESTABLISHMENT

WHEN YOU FINISH.

HOBSON, OK.

WHAT IS THEE WISH?

I'M LOOKING FOR SOME LOCAL B--

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

WHAT IS THEE WISH?

UM, LOCAL BIOGRAPHY OR HISTORY.

IF THEE WILL CONSULT WITH MY COLLEAGUE IN THERE.

MM-HMM.

DOST THOU HAVE A WASHROOM?

THANK THEE.

LOOK, I KNOW THIS IS A PUBLIC LIBRARY,

BUT I WOULD--

HELLO.

HELLO.

COULDN'T YOU AFFORD TO BUY MY BOOK?

THE BOOKSTORE DIDN'T HAVE ONE.

ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING?

YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO GIRLS LIKE YOU

WHEN THEY READ BOOKS LIKE MINE--

THEY BEGIN TO THINK. THAT'S BAD.

THESE STORIES ARE BEAUTIFUL.

WHY, CONNOR, THEY'RE ALMOST POETRY.

WELL, DON'T KID YOURSELF. THEY ARE.

I CAN'T MAKE YOU OUT AT ALL NOW.

REALLY? I THOUGHT I WAS EASY.

SO DID I...

BUT YOU'RE NOT.

YOU--YOU TALK SO BIG AND TOUGH,

AND THEN YOU WRITE LIKE THIS.

WHICH IS WHICH?

BOTH, I GUESS.

NO. NO, I--

I BELIEVE YOU PUT THE TOUGHNESS ON

TO SAVE YOUR SKIN.

WELL, YOU THINK SO?

I KNOW A LITTLE ABOUT THAT.

DO YOU?

QUITE A LOT.

SHH!

SHH!

LOOK, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

THIS BOOK WAS JUST SUCH A COMPLETE SURPRISE TO ME.

I--LET'S WALK, SHALL WE?

IT WOULD BE MUCH MORE FUN.

TELL MR. KITTREDGE WE'LL MEET HIM AT THE POOL.

YES, MISS TRACY.

THE STORY CALLED WITH THE RICH AND MIGHTY--

I THINK I LIKED IT BEST.

I GOT IT FROM A SPANISH PEASANT'S PROVERB--

"WITH THE RICH AND MIGHTY, ALWAYS A LITTLE PATIENCE."

I LIKE THAT.

WHAT'S THE MATTER? A LITTLE TOO ROUGH?

A LITTLE, BUT I'M USED TO IT.

TELL ME SOMETHING, WILL YOU?

WHEN YOU CAN DO A THING LIKE THAT BOOK,

HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY DO ANYTHING ELSE?

YOU MAY NOT BELIEVE THIS,

BUT THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD

THAT MUST EARN THEIR LIVING.

OF COURSE, BUT PEOPLE BUY BOOKS, DON'T THEY?

NOT AS LONG AS THERE'S A LIBRARY AROUND.

THAT BOOK OF MINE REPRESENTS TWO SOLID YEARS' WORK,

AND IT NETTED CONNOR SOMETHING UNDER $600.

BUT THAT SHOULDN'T BE.

WELL, UNHAPPILY IT IS.

BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY AROUND HERE.

WHAT IS IT ALL ANYWAY?

PART OF OUR PLACE.

WHAT ABOUT YOUR MISS IMBRIE?

WELL, MISS IMBRIE'S IN SOMEWHAT THE SAME FIX.

SHE'S A BORN PAINTER

AND MIGHT BE A VERY IMPORTANT ONE,

BUT MISS IMBRIE MUST EAT

AND ALSO PREFERS A ROOF OVER HER HEAD

TO BEING OUT IN THE RAIN AND SNOW.

FOOD AND A ROOF.

HEY, YOU'VE REALLY GOT SOMETHING HERE.

WHERE?

WELL, ALL THIS.

OH, OH, COME ON,

THE DRESSING ROOMS ARE OVER HERE.

I THINK YOU'LL FIND EVERYTHING YOU NEED.

USE ANY OLD ONE,

BUT I THINK YOU'LL FIND MOST OF THE JUNK IN THERE.

YELL IF YOU NEED ANYTHING.

OK.

HEY, CONNOR!

YEAH?

I HAVE AN IDEA.

I HAVE THE MOST WONDERFUL LITTLE HOUSE IN UNIONVILLE.

IT'S UP ON A HILL

WITH A VIEW THAT WOULD KNOCK YOU SILLY.

I'M NEVER THERE EXCEPT IN THE HUNTING SEASON

AND NOT MUCH THEN.

I'D BE SO HAPPY TO KNOW

THAT IT WAS OF SOME REAL USE TO SOMEONE.

[DOOR CLOSES]

CAN YOU HEAR ME?

YEAH.

THERE'S A BROOK AND A SMALL LAKE--

NO SIZE, REALLY--

AND A PATCH OF WOODS, AND IN ANY KIND OF WEATHER,

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL...

WELL, ANYHOW, I'M SO DELIGHTED THAT I CAN OFFER IT TO YOU.

WELL, IT'S TERRIBLY NICE OF YOU, BUT, UH...

[WHISTLING]

HECK, THAT'S DEXTER.

LOOK, IF HE COMES HERE, STAND BY, WILL YOU?

UM, I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE WITH HIM.

CERTAINLY, IF YOU LIKE.

ISN'T IT LUCKY THAT I HAPPENED TO THINK ABOUT THAT HOUSE?

DON'T THINK I'D COME TROOPING IN EVERY MINUTE.

I WOULDN'T.

I'D NEVER COME EXCEPT WHEN EXPRESSLY ASKED TO.

WELL, IT ISN'T THAT.

WHAT IS IT?

WELL, YOU SEE, THE IDEA OF ARTISTS

DEPENDING UPON A PATRON LADY BOUNTIFUL

HAS MORE OR LESS GONE OUT.

OH. I SEE.

THAT WASN'T ESPECIALLY KIND OF YOU, MR. CONNOR.

I'M SORRY TO HAVE SEEMED PATRONIZING.

OH, WELL...

PLEASE DON'T BOTHER, REALLY.

HELLO.

HELLO. FANCY SEEING YOU HERE.

ORANGE JUICE? CERTAINLY.

DON'T TELL ME

YOU'VE FORSAKEN YOUR BELOVED WHISKEY AND WHISKEYS.

NO, NO. I'VE JUST CHANGED THEIR COLORS.

I'M GOING FOR THE PALE PASTEL SHADES NOW.

THEY'RE MORE BECOMING TO ME.

HOW ABOUT YOU, MR. CONNOR?

YOU DRINK, DON'T YOU? ALCOHOL, I MEAN.

WELL, A LITTLE.

A LIT--A LITTLE? AND YOU A WRITER?

I THOUGHT ALL WRITERS DRANK TO EXCESS AND BEAT THEIR WIVES.

AT ONE TIME, I SECRETLY WANTED TO BE A WRITER.

DEXTER, WOULD YOU MIND DOING SOMETHING FOR ME?

ANYTHING. WHAT?

GET THE HECK OUT OF HERE.

MY DEAR RED, I COULDN'T DO THAT.

YOU NEED ME TOO MUCH.

TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE HANGING AROUND FOR.

NO, NO. PLEASE DON'T GO, MR. CONNOR.

PLEASE DON'T GO.

AS A WRITER, THIS OUGHT TO BE RIGHT UP YOUR STREET.

DON'T MISS A WORD.

I NEVER SAW YOU LOOKING BETTER, RED.

YOU'RE GETTING THAT FINE, TAWNY LOOK.

WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT ME, ARE WE?

GOODY.

IT'S ASTONISHING WHAT MONEY CAN DO FOR PEOPLE.

DON'T YOU AGREE, MR. CONNOR?

NOT TOO MUCH, JUST MORE THAN ENOUGH.

NOW, TAKE TRACY, FOR EXAMPLE.

THERE'S NEVER A BLOW THAT HASN'T BEEN SOFTENED FOR HER,

NEVER A BLOW THAT WON'T BE SOFTENED.

IT EVEN CHANGED HER SHAPE.

SHE WAS A DUMPY LITTLE THING AT ONE TIME.

ONLY, AS IT HAPPENS,

I'M NOT INTERESTED IN MYSELF FOR THE MOMENT.

NOT INTERESTED? YOU'RE FASCINATED.

YOU'RE FAR AND AWAY YOUR FAVORITE PERSON.

DEXTER--

SHE'S A GIRL WHO'S GENEROUS TO A FAULT.

[TRACY] TO A FAULT, MR. CONNOR.

EXCEPT TO OTHER PEOPLE'S FAULTS.

SHE NEVER HAD ANY UNDERSTANDING

OF MY DEEP AND GORGEOUS THIRST.

THAT WAS YOUR PROBLEM.

GRANTED. BUT YOU TOOK ON THAT PROBLEM

WHEN YOU TOOK ME, RED.

YOU WERE NO HELPMATE THERE.

YOU WERE A SCOLD.

IT WAS DISGUSTING. IT MADE YOU SO UNATTRACTIVE.

A WEAKNESS, SURE,

AND STRENGTH IS HER RELIGION, MR. CONNOR.

SHE FINDS HUMAN IMPERFECTION UNFORGIVABLE.

WHEN I GRADUALLY DISCOVERED

THAT MY RELATIONSHIP TO HER

WAS SUPPOSED TO BE NOT THAT OF A LOVING HUSBAND,

BUT...OH, NEVER MIND.

SAY IT.

BUT THAT OF A KIND OF HIGH PRIEST TO A VIRGIN GODDESS,

THEN MY DRINKS GREW DEEPER AND MORE FREQUENT,

THAT'S ALL.

I NEVER CONSIDERED YOU AS THAT, NOR MYSELF.

YOU DID WITHOUT KNOWING IT.

AND THE NIGHT THAT YOU GOT DRUNK ON CHAMPAGNE

AND CLIMBED OUT ON THE ROOF

AND STOOD NAKED WITH YOUR ARMS OUT TO THE MOON,

WAILING LIKE A BANSHEE.

HA HA HA!

I TOLD YOU I NEVER HAD

THE SLIGHTEST RECOLLECTION OF DOING ANY SUCH THING.

I KNOW. YOU DREW A BLANK. YOU WANTED TO.

MR. CONNOR, WHAT WOULD YOU--OH.

A NICE STORY FOR SPY, INCIDENTALLY.

TOO BAD WE CAN'T SUPPLY PHOTOGRAPHS OF YOU

ON THE ROOF.

THE FUSS YOU MADE OVER THAT CHILDISH EPISODE!

IT WAS ENORMOUSLY IMPORTANT AND MOST REVEALING.

THE MOON IS ALSO A GODDESS, CHASTE AND VIRGINAL.

STOP USING THOSE FOUL WORDS.

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME OUT AS?

WHAT DO YOU FANCY YOURSELF AS?

I DON'T KNOW THAT I FANCY--

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE GOING TO MARRY KITTREDGE.

THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.

HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK OF IT?

HE'S EVERYTHING YOU'RE NOT--

HE'S BEEN POOR, HE'S HAD TO WORK,

AND HE'S HAD TO FIGHT FOR EVERYTHING,

AND I LOVE HIM AS I NEVER BEGAN TO LOVE YOU.

MAYBE, BUT I DOUBT IT.

I THINK IT'S JUST A SWING FROM ME,

BUT IT'S TOO VIOLENT A SWING.

KITTREDGE IS NO GREAT TOWER OF STRENGTH.

HE'S JUST A TOWER.

YOU HARDLY KNOW HIM.

TO HARDLY KNOW HIM IS TO KNOW HIM WELL.

IT OFFENDS MY VANITY TO HAVE ANYONE

WHO WAS EVEN REMOTELY MY WIFE

REMARRY SO OBVIOUSLY BENEATH HER.

BE--

HOW DARE YOU, IN THIS DAY AND AGE,

USE SUCH AN IDIOTIC--

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE IN MIND AND SPIRIT.

YOU COULD MARRY MAC THE NIGHT WATCHMAN--

I'D CHEER FOR YOU. KITTREDGE IS NOT FOR YOU.

YOU BET HE'S FOR ME.

HE'S A GREAT MAN AND A GOOD MAN.

ALREADY HE'S OF NATIONAL IMPORTANCE.

YOU SOUND LIKE SPY MAGAZINE TALKING.

BUT WHATEVER HE IS, TOOTS, YOU'LL HAVE TO STICK.

HE'LL GIVE YOU NO OUT AS I DID.

I WON'T REQUIRE ONE.

I SUPPOSE YOU'LL STILL BE ATTRACTIVE

TO ANY MAN OF SPIRIT.

THERE'S SOMETHING ENGAGING ABOUT THIS GODDESS BUSINESS,

SOMETHING MORE CHALLENGING TO THE MALE

THAN THE MORE OBVIOUS CHARMS.

REALLY?

REALLY.

WE'RE VERY VAIN, YOU KNOW.

THIS CITADEL CAN AND SHALL BE TAKEN,

AND I'M THE BOY TO DO IT.

YOU SEEM QUITE CONTEMPTUOUS OF ME

ALL OF A SUDDEN.

NO, RED. NOT OF YOU.

NEVER OF YOU.

RED, YOU COULD BE THE FINEST WOMAN ON THIS EARTH.

I'M CONTEMPTUOUS OF SOMETHING INSIDE OF YOU

YOU EITHER CAN'T HELP OR MAKE NO ATTEMPT TO--

YOUR SO-CALLED STRENGTH,

YOUR PREJUDICE AGAINST WEAKNESS,

YOUR BLANK INTOLERANCE.

IS THAT ALL?

THAT'S THE GIST OF IT.

YOU'LL NEVER BE A FIRST-CLASS HUMAN OR WOMAN

UNTIL YOU'VE LEARNED TO HAVE SOME REGARD FOR HUMAN FRAILTY.

IT'S A PITY YOUR OWN FOOT CAN'T SLIP A LITTLE SOMETIME,

BUT YOUR SENSE OF INNER DIVINITY WOULDN'T ALLOW THAT.

THIS GODDESS MUST AND SHALL REMAIN INTACT.

THERE ARE MORE OF YOU THAN PEOPLE REALIZE,

A SPECIAL CLASS OF THE AMERICAN FEMALE--

THE MARRIED MAIDENS.

SO HELP ME, DEXTER, IF YOU SAY ANOTHER--

I'M THROUGH, RED.

FOR THE MOMENT, I'VE HAD MY SAY.

WELL, I SUPPOSE I SHOULD OBJECT TO THIS TWOSOME.

THAT WOULD BE MOST OBJECTIONABLE.

WELL, ANYTIME EITHER OF YOU WANT MY ADVICE--

WE'LL GIVE YOU A RING, HAVEN.

THANKS. DO THAT, WILL YOU?

SO LONG, RED.

I LEFT YOU A LITTLE WEDDING PRESENT.

SORRY I HADN'T ANY RIBBON TO TIE IT UP WITH.

AREN'T YOU SWIMMING?

WE HAVEN'T TIME.

UNCLE WILLIE WANTS US AT 8:00.

LOOK WHAT YOUR FRIEND

CONSIDERS A WEDDING PRESENT.

WHY, IT'S A MODEL OF THE TRUE LOVE.

THE WHAT?

A BOAT HE DESIGNED AND BUILT, PRACTICALLY.

WE SAILED IT DOWN THE COAST OF MAINE

THE SUMMER WE WERE MARRIED.

MY, SHE WAS YARE.

YARE? WHAT'S THAT MEAN?

IT MEANS, UH... OH, WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

EASY TO HANDLE, QUICK TO THE HELM,

FAST, BRIGHT.

EVERYTHING A BOAT SHOULD BE...

UNTIL SHE DEVELOPS DRY ROT.

OH, GEORGE, TO GET AWAY!

SOMEHOW TO BE USEFUL IN THE WORLD.

USEFUL? YOU, TRACY?

WHY, I'M GOING TO BUILD YOU AN IVORY TOWER

WITH MY OWN TWO HANDS.

LIKE FUN YOU ARE.

YOU MEAN YOU'VE BEEN IN ONE TOO LONG?

WELL, I MEAN THAT AND, UH...

A LOT OF THINGS.

I--OH.

YOU KNOW, WE'RE GOING TO REPRESENT SOMETHING, TRACY,

YOU AND I AND OUR HOME,

SOMETHING STRAIGHT AND SOUND AND FINE.

THEN, PERHAPS, YOUR FRIEND MR. HAVEN

WILL BE SOMEWHAT LESS CONDESCENDING.

GEORGE...YOU...

YOU DON'T REALLY MIND HIM, DO YOU?

I MEAN, THE FACT OF HIM?

THE FACT OF HIM? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, I MEAN THAT-- WELL, YOU KNOW, THAT...

HE EVER WAS MY LORD AND MASTER,

THAT WE EVER WERE--

I DON'T BELIEVE HE EVER WAS, TRACY, NOT REALLY.

I DON'T BELIEVE THAT ANYONE EVER WAS OR WILL BE.

THAT'S THE WONDERFUL THING ABOUT YOU, TRACY.

WHAT? HOW?

WELL, YOU'RE LIKE SOME MARVELOUS, DISTANT...

WELL, QUEEN, I GUESS.

YOU'RE SO COOL AND FINE AND ALWAYS SO MUCH YOUR OWN.

THERE'S A KIND OF BEAUTIFUL PURITY ABOUT YOU, TRACY,

LIKE A STATUE.

GEORGE--

OH, IT'S GRAND, TRACY.

IT'S WHAT I FIRST WORSHIPPED YOU FOR FROM AFAR...

GEORGE, LISTEN--

FIRST, NOW, AND ALWAYS.

ONLY FROM A LITTLE NEARER NOW, EH, DARLING?

I--I DON'T WANT TO BE WORSHIPPED.

I WANT TO BE LOVED.

WELL, YOU'RE THAT, TOO, TRACY.

OH, YOU'RE THAT, ALL RIGHT.

I MEAN, REALLY LOVED.

BUT THAT GOES WITHOUT SAYING, TRACY.

NO.

NO. NOW IT'S YOU WHO DOESN'T SEE WHAT I MEAN.

I--

WELL, I'D BETTER GET DRESSED, DEAR.

I HATE TO BE LATE.

GEORGE.

YES.

UM...OH, NOTHING.

RUN ALONG. I'LL BE DRESSED WHEN YOU GET BACK.

TRACY, YOU'RE UNCLE WILLIE'S GUEST OF HONOR.

YOU MUSTN'T BE LATE.

YOUR FIANCE JUST RODE OUT OF HERE ON TWO WHEELS.

DOES HE EVER WALK ANYWHERE?

WHEN HE LIKES, I EXPECT.

I HAVE A FEELING HE'LL TAKE THAT RING TOMORROW

AND GO RIGHT THROUGH CENTER WITH IT.

SETH, YOU IDIOT.

HA! VERY AMUSING, I'M SURE.

ALMOST AS AMUSING AS THE SIGHT OF YOU

WITH YOUR ARM AROUND MOTHER.

I FIND VERY UNAMUSING

THE STUPID, UNDIGNIFIED SPECTACLE

WE'RE MAKING OF OURSELVES

FOR THE BENEFIT OF THOSE TWO NEWSPAPER PEOPLE.

WHOSE FAULT IS IT?

THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

THEY CAN PUBLISH ANYTHING THEY LIKE ABOUT ME,

BUT I INSIST WE INFORM CONNOR AND THE CAMERA LADY

THAT WE'RE ALL AWARE OF THEIR PURPOSE HERE.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL TELL THEM MYSELF.

IT WOULD LOOK BETTER COMING FROM ME

AS AT LEAST THE TITULAR HEAD OF THE FAMILY.

OF COURSE, INASMUCH AS YOU'VE LET US IN FOR IT

IN THE FIRST PLACE.

KEEP THAT NOTE OUT OF YOUR VOICE.

IT'S VERY UNATTRACTIVE.

HOW DOES YOUR DANCER FRIEND TALK? OR DOES SHE PURR?

TRACY!

IT'S ALL RIGHT, MARGARET.

DULCET, VERY LADYLIKE.

YOU'VE GOT A HECK OF A NERVE COMING BACK HERE

IN YOUR BEST HEAD-OF-THE-FAMILY MANNER

AND MAKE STANDS AND STRIKE ATTITUDES

AND CRITICIZE MY FIANCE AND MESS THINGS UP--

STOP IT INSTANTLY!

IT'S SICKENING, AS IF HE'D DONE NOTHING AT ALL.

WHICH HAPPENS TO BE THE TRUTH.

ANYWAY, IT'S NOT YOUR AFFAIR.

IF IT CONCERNS ANYONE...

WELL, ACTUALLY, I DON'T KNOW WHOM IT CONCERNS,

EXCEPT YOUR FATHER.

THAT'S VERY WISE OF YOU, MARGARET.

WHAT MOST WIVES FAIL TO REALIZE

IS THAT THEIR HUSBAND'S PHILANDERING

HAS NOTHING WHATEVER TO DO WITH THEM.

OH? THEN WHAT HAS IT TO DO WITH?

A RELUCTANCE TO GROW OLD, I THINK.

I SUPPOSE THE BEST MAINSTAY A MAN CAN HAVE

AS HE GETS ALONG IN YEARS IS A DAUGHTER,

THE RIGHT KIND OF DAUGHTER.

HOW SWEET.

NO. I'M TALKING SERIOUSLY ABOUT

SOMETHING I'VE THOUGHT OVER THOROUGHLY.

I THINK A DEVOTED YOUNG GIRL

GIVES A MAN THE ILLUSION THAT

YOUTH IS STILL HIS.

VERY IMPORTANT, I SUPPOSE.

OH, VERY, VERY. BECAUSE WITHOUT HER,

HE MIGHT BE INCLINED TO GO OUT

IN SEARCH OF HIS YOUTH.

IT'S JUST AS IMPORTANT TO HIM

AS IT IS TO ANY WOMAN.

BUT WITH A GIRL OF HIS OWN,

FULL OF WARMTH FOR HIM,

FULL OF FOOLISH, UNCRITICAL AFFECTION--

NONE OF WHICH I'VE GOT.

NONE.

YOU HAVE A GOOD MIND, A PRETTY FACE,

A DISCIPLINED BODY THAT DOES WHAT YOU TELL IT.

YOU HAVE EVERYTHING IT TAKES

TO MAKE A LOVELY WOMAN

EXCEPT ONE ESSENTIAL-- AN UNDERSTANDING HEART--

AND WITHOUT THAT,

YOU MIGHT JUST AS WELL BE MADE OF BRONZE.

THAT'S AN...AWFUL THING TO SAY TO ANYONE.

YES, IT IS INDEED.

SO I'M TO BLAME FOR TINA MORROW, AM I?

TO A CERTAIN EXTENT, I EXPECT YOU ARE.

YOU COWARD!

NO, BUT BETTER THAT

THAN A PRIG OR A PERENNIAL SPINSTER,

HOWEVER MANY MARRIAGES.

THAT'S TOO MUCH.

IT'S NOT ENOUGH. I'M AFRAID NOTHING IS.

WHAT DID YOU SAY I WAS?

DO YOU WANT ME TO REPEAT IT?

A PRIG AND A...

YOU MEAN YOU THINK I THINK

I'M SOME KIND OF A GODDESS OR SOMETHING?

IF YOUR EGO WANTS IT THAT WAY, YES.

ALSO, YOU'VE BEEN TALKING LIKE A JEALOUS WOMAN.

A--

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH EVERYONE ALL AT ONCE ANYHOW?

I'VE BEEN ASLEEP. WHAT TIME IS IT?

AFTER 7:00.

CALL MY HOUSE. TELL THEM I'M ON MY WAY.

YOU BETTER COME, TOO.

YOU'RE THE HOST... UNCLE WILLIE.

YOU'RE YOURSELF AGAIN. SO AM I.

HAVE YOU TOLD THEM?

I SHALL AT THE FIRST OPPORTUNITY.

MY FIRST PARTY AND ABOUT TIME.

CAN I HAVE A COCKTAIL?

CERTAINLY NOT.

I THINK THAT DRESS HIKES UP A LITTLE BEHIND.

NO, IT'S ME THAT DOES.

YOU LOOK ADORABLE, DINAH.

THANKS, TRACY. THANKS EVER SO MUCH.

TRACY, YOU MUST DRESS.

LET'S ALL HAVE A LAST DRINK.

SORRY, I FORGOT. YOU NEVER DRINK.

PRIGS DON'T, NOR SPINSTERS.

AGAIN, PLEASE.

NOR GODDESSES OF ANY VARIETY.

NOT COMPLETELY. JUST A BORDERLINE CASE.

MR. AND MRS. LORD,

UH, MISS IMBRIE AND I HAVE SOMETHING ON OUR MIND.

SPLENDID. WHAT?

WELL, WE'D LIKE TO SAY SOMETHING.

I'M ALL EARS AND EYES.

YOU'RE A VISION OF LOVELINESS,

MISS IMBRIE.

WILL YOU HAVE COCKTAIL OR CHAMPAGNE?

OH, CHAMPAGNE. I'VE NEVER HAD ENOUGH.

YOU WILL TONIGHT.

[CONNOR] I'D LIKE TO SAY--

NO. I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY FIRST.

I AM SETH LORD.

NO!

THEN THAT MAKES YOU...

AVAILABLE.

AND YOU ARE MISS IMBRIE OF SPY MAGAZINE.

WELL, NOW YOU KNOW.

I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU--

SETH, WE REALLY OUGHT TO BE EARLY.

AND WHO'LL GO WITH ME IN MY LITTLE CAR?

DINAH AND I.

SETH, TAKE MISS IMBRIE AND MR. CONNOR.

DINAH.

I CAN TELL THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE AIR

BECAUSE I'M BEING TAKEN AWAY.

WELL, I'LL SEE YOU ALL LATER.

OHH!

DON'T DO THAT! WHAT'S THE MATTER?

NOTHING.

MISS IMBRIE!

YOU KNOW I FELT EXACTLY AS THOUGH I'D BEEN PINCHED.

DON'T YOU THINK YOU WEREN'T.

YOU AREN'T EVEN DRESSED.

UM...

YOU GO AHEAD.

I'LL FOLLOW ALONG WITH GEORGE.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH TRACY?

YOU TELL ME, WILL YOU?

DARNED IF I KNOW.

I'D LIKE TO.

WELL, MACAULAY...

IF YOU EVER HAPPEN TO FIND OUT...

I'LL TELL YOU. SURE.

AND REMEMBER, MIKE,

WITH THE RICH AND MIGHTY...

ALWAYS A LITTLE PATIENCE?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?

IT'S AFTER 4:00.

IN CHINA, IT'S LATER THAN THAT.

IN CHINA, WE'D BE MARRIED BY NOW.

OR PERHAPS IT'S ONLY YESTERDAY.

I'M GOING HOME AFTER THIS DANCE.

THERE WAS A CHINESE POET

WHO WAS DROWNED WHILE TRYING TO KISS THE MOON

IN THE RIVER.

HE WAS DRUNK.

I'D SAY AS MUCH.

BUT HE WROTE BEAUTIFUL POETRY.

MACAULAY CONNOR OF SOUTH BEND

REPORTING FOR DUTY.

I'M SORRY, CONNOR.

WE'RE GOING HOME AFTER THIS DANCE.

YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO ME,

NOT A FRIEND OF OLD JUNIUS--

I MEAN, NOT AN OLD FRIEND OF JUNIUS.

I WISH OLD JUNIUS WERE HERE.

TRACY, I'LL GET YOUR WRAPS.

HE'LL WRAP ME UP.

HELLO, YOU.

HELLO.

HEY, YOU LOOK FINE.

I FEEL FINE.

GOOD, GOOD.

OH, YEAH. OH, YEAH.

WHAT WAS I SAYING?

OH. LET'S HAVE ANOTHER DRINK,

OR WOULD KITTREDGE SPANK?

THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU WERE SAYING.

IT ISN'T. ALL RIGHT.

NOT WHAT I WAS SAYING.

OH! OH! I KNOW!

WHY DO YOU WISH YOUR BROTHER WAS HERE?

DOES HE LIKE KITTREDGE?

EVERYBODY LIKES KITTREDGE.

EVERYBODY LIKES KITTREDGE.

EVERYBODY EXCEPT C.K. DEXTER HAVEN, HUH?

COME ON, CONNOR. WE'LL HAVE SOME WINE.

WE'LL HAVE SOME WINE.

MOTHER!

I THOUGHT YOU'D GONE HOME AGES AGO.

I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE,

BUT I'VE BEEN HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME.

EVERYBODY SHOULD HAVE A GOOD TIME.

DARLING, WHAT'S COME OVER YOU?

OH! IT'S JUST THAT A LOT OF THINGS

I ALWAYS THOUGHT WERE TERRIBLY IMPORTANT

I FIND NOW ARE...

AND THE OTHER WAY AROUND, AND...

OH, WHAT THE DICKENS.

CONNOR, YOU'RE THIRSTY,

AND THE NIGHT IS YOUNG.

HERE WE ARE, DEAR.

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE JUST ONE MORE DRINK--

NOT YOU, I'M AFRAID, DEAR.

WHY SHOULD YOU BE AFRAID, GEORGE?

YOU KNOW WINE NEVER AFFECTS ME,

NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST.

WHAT SHE REALLY WANTS IS ANOTHER DANCE WITH YOU.

OH, VERY WELL.

GEORGE, IF IT'S THAT MUCH OF A CHORE--

NOT FOR ME.

YOU'VE BEEN TOO ATTENTIVE AS IT IS.

GEORGE, PLEASE.

WHAT WILL THE NEIGHBORS THINK?

THE COURSE OF TRUE LOVE...

GATHERS NO MOSS.

BUNNY, WHERE'S BRENDA?

SHE'S WITH GIGS AND PHEE.

NO. I THINK SHE'S WITH JOHN.

BOY, CHAMPAGNE.

JUST THE BOTTLE.

I'M GOING ON A PICNIC.

YOU'RE LEAVING US, JACQUES?

RATHER, BUT I'LL BE BACK.

COME ON, DARLING.

CHAMPAGNE AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.

FOLLOW THAT CAB.

WHAT CAB, SIR?

NO CAB. SOME JOKE, HUH?

TAKE ME TO THE C.K. DEXTER HAVEN MANSION.

MR. HAVEN?

FRONT ENTRANCE.

[STARTS CAR]

C.K. DEXTER HAVEN!

OH, C.K. DEXTER HAVEN!

C.K. DEXTER HAVEN!

WELL, THIS IS WHERE CINDERELLA GETS OFF.

YOU HURRY BACK TO THE BALL

BEFORE YOU TURN INTO A PUMPKIN

AND SIX WHITE MICE. GOOD-BYE.

C.K. DEXTER HAVEN?

OH, C.K. DEXTER HAVEN!

WHAT'S UP?

YOU ARE.

I ONLY HOPE IT'S WORTH IT.

COME ON IN.

I BRING YOU GREETINGS.

CINDERELLA'S SLIPPER.

IT'S CALLED CHAMPAGNE.

CHAMPAGNE IS A GREAT LEVELER-ER.

LEVELER.

IT MAKES YOU MY EQUAL.

I WOULDN'T QUITE SAY THAT.

WELL, ALMOST MY EQUAL.

C.K. DEXTER HAVEN,

I WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO YOU.

LET'S GO IN THE TALKING ROOM.

DON'T TELL ME THE PARTY'S OVER SO SOON.

NO, NO. I JUST FELT LIKE TALKING TO YOU.

WELL, THAT'S NICE.

OH!

I WONDER IF I MIGHT BORROW A DRINK.

CERTAINLY. COALS TO NEWCASTLE.

SIT DOWN.

[HICCUP]

EXCUSE ME.

HMM?

WHAT'S THIS?

WHAT'S THAT-- MY BOOK?

YES.

C.K. DEXTER HAVEN,

YOU HAVE UNSUSPECTED DEPTH.

OH, THANKS, OLD CHAP.

BUT HAVE YOU READ IT?

[HICCUP]

I WAS TRYING TO STOP DRINKING.

I READ ANYTHING.

AND DID YOU STOP DRINKING?

YES. YOUR BOOK DIDN'T DO IT, THOUGH.

ARE YOU STILL IN LOVE WITH HER?

OR PERHAPS YOU CONSIDER THAT A PERSONAL QUESTION.

NOT AT ALL.

LIZ THINKS YOU ARE.

LIZ THINKS YOU ARE,

BUT, OF COURSE, WOMEN LIKE TO ROMANTICIZE--

[HICCUP]

ROMANTICIZE ABOUT THINGS.

YES, THEY DO, DON'T THEY?

YES, THEY DO, DON'T THEY?

I CAN'T UNDERSTAND

HOW YOU COULD HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO HER

AND STILL KNOW SO LITTLE ABOUT HER.

CAN'T YOU?

NO, I CAN'T YOU.

I HAVE THE HICCUPS.

I WONDER IF I MIGHT HAVE ANOTHER DRINK.

CERTAINLY.

THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW TRACY'S NO ORDINARY WOMAN,

AND YOU SAID SOME THINGS TO HER THIS AFTERNOON

I RESENTED.

WELL, I APOLOGIZE, MR. CONNOR.

THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT,

BUT WHEN A GIRL IS LIKE TRACY,

SHE'S ONE IN A MILLION.

SHE'S SORT OF LIKE A...

A GODDESS?

NO, NO, NO!

YOU SAID THAT WORD THIS AFTERNOON.

NO. SHE'S...

SHE'S SORT OF LIKE A QUEEN--

A RADIANT, GLORIOUS QUEEN--

AND YOU CAN'T TREAT HER LIKE OTHER WOMEN.

NO, I SUPPOSE NOT,

BUT THEN I IMAGINE KITTREDGE APPRECIATES ALL THAT.

KITTREDGE!

KITTREDGE APPRECIATES KITTREDGE!

THAT FAKE MAN OF THE PEOPLE!

HE ISN'T EVEN SMART.

HE'S A FIVE-CENT EDITION OF SIDNEY KIDD.

I ALWAYS THOUGHT KIDD HIMSELF

WAS THE FIVE-CENT KID.

AND WHAT'S THAT MAKE YOU WORTH, C.K. DEXTER HAVEN,

BRINGING US DOWN HERE?

BUT YOU KNOW WHY I DID THAT--

TO GET EVEN WITH MY EX-BRIDE.

YOU TOLD ME SO YOURSELF.

DOGGONE IT, C.K. DEXTER HAVEN,

EITHER I'M GOING TO SOCK YOU,

OR YOU'RE GONNA SOCK ME.

SHALL WE TOSS A COIN?

MMM.

KIDD IS JUST USING YOU

LIKE HE USES EVERYBODY ELSE.

YOU DON'T KNOW KIDD LIKE I KNOW HIM.

THE GUY'S COLOSSAL. HE'S TERRIFIC.

GOT EVERYBODY FOOLED.

YEAH.

NO MEAN MACHIAVELLI

IS SMILING, CYNICAL SIDNEY KIDD.

THE WORLD'S HIS OYSTER

WITH AN "R" IN EVERY MONTH.

THAT'S NOT BAD. WHEN DID I SAY THAT?

YOU DIDN'T. I DID. SORRY.

YOU NEVER HEARD ABOUT KIDD'S LITTLE ARRANGEMENT

IN KANSAS CITY?

NO.

IN SAN FRANCISCO?

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME HE WENT TO BOSTON

TO BE AWARDED

THE SARAH LANGLEY MEDAL FOR WORLD PEACE.

THE TRUE STORY ON THAT LITTLE JAUNT WOULD RUIN HIM.

LOOK, CONNOR...

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO YOU

IF I USED THIS STUFF?

WHY?

I MIGHT WANT TO VERY MUCH.

KIDD IS HOLDING A DIRTY PIECE ON TRACY'S FATHER.

THIS MIGHT STOP HIM.

ON TRACY'S FATHER?

THAT'S RIGHT.

OH!

SO THAT'S HOW KIDD GOT YOU TO...

THAT'S HOW LIZ AND I WERE GOTTEN IN--

BLACKMAIL, HUH?

WE ALL RODE INTO THIS THING ON A FILTHY BLACKMAIL.

YOU USE IT WITH MY BLESSINGS.

I'M COOKED. I'M THROUGH ANYWAY.

I'M NOT GOING TO HAND IN A STORY ON THIS WEDDING.

I'M GOING TO WRITE ONE ON KIDD.

NO, NO, LET ME DO IT.

I DON'T HAVE TO TELL HIM WHERE I GOT MY FACTS, OK?

OK.

ALL RIGHT. COME ON.

NOW SHOOT.

PEACE MEDAL.

[HICCUP]

BOSTON.

OH! THE TIME-- MAY 1938.

THE PLACE-- BOSTON, A HOTEL.

KIDD HAD JUST ARRIVED.

THIS SAME SIDNEY KIDD,

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN OF AMERICA,

THIS PROTECTOR OF AMERICAN DEMOCRACY

AND HOMES AND FIRESIDES,

WAS AT THAT VERY MOMENT

ENTERTAINING THIS SOUTH CAROLINA MATA HARI

ON HIS YACHT.

[DOORBELL BUZZES]

DON'T INTERRUPT ME!

THIS SIDNEY KIDD, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

WHO DEMANDED THE RESPECT

OF ALL WHO WERE CONNECTED WITH HIM...

WE'VE COME FOR THE BODY OF MACAULAY CONNOR.

SO GLAD YOU CAME.

CAN YOU USE A TYPEWRITER?

NO, THANKS. I HAVE ONE AT HOME.

WHO'S THAT?

OH!

WHERE'S KITTREDGE?

THE PEOPLE'S CHOICE?

HIS BRIDE JUST DROPPED HIM AT THE GATEHOUSE

AFTER A SLIGHT EXPLOSION.

WHAT? A FIGHT?

15 ROUNDS. NO DECISION.

WHERE'S MY WANDERING PARAKEET?

YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL, RED.

COME ON IN.

WHY?

NO PARTICULAR REASON. A DRINK MAYBE?

I DON'T DRINK.

THAT'S RIGHT. I FORGOT.

I HAVEN'T.

SHOW LIZ TO A TYPEWRITER AND STAND BACK.

CAN SHE DO IT?

SHE CAN, AND SHE WILL.

YOU DICTATE TO HER AND BRING HER HOME.

AREN'T YOU COMING, LIZ?

I'VE GOT TO COMMIT SUICIDE FIRST.

GOING MY WAY, MISS?

MISS GODDESS TO YOU.

OK, MISS GODDESS TO ME.

THAT CHAMPAGNE'S FUNNY STUFF.

I'M USED TO WHISKEY.

WHISKEY IS A SLAP ON THE BACK,

AND CHAMPAGNE'S HEAVY MIST BEFORE MY EYES.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

DO YOU HEAR A TELEPHONE RINGING?

I DID A LITTLE WHILE AGO.

LET'S SEE.

[RING]

NO, NOT YET.

[RING]

NOW I DO.

FAR AWAY.

[RING]

IT'S MY BEDROOM TELEPHONE.

[RING]

COULDN'T BE ANYONE BUT GEORGE.

I WAS SORT OF SWINISH TO HIM.

PERHAPS I'D BETTER GO AND SEE WHAT.

IT ISN'T RINGING ANYMORE.

I TELL YOU WHAT--

LET'S HAVE A QUICK SWIM TO BRIGHTEN US UP.

DEXTER AND I ALWAYS SWAM AFTER PARTIES.

LET'S DIP INTO THIS INSTEAD, HUH?

HELLO, YOU.

HELLO.

YOU LOOK FINE.

I FEEL FINE.

DID YOU ENJOY THE PARTY?

SURE, SURE.

THE PRETTIEST SIGHT IN THIS FINE, PRETTY WORLD

IS THE PRIVILEGED CLASS ENJOYING ITS PRIVILEGES.

YOU'RE A SNOB, CONNOR.

NO DOUBT. NO DOUBT.

AWASH WITH CHAMPAGNE

WAS WILL Q. TRACY'S PLEASURE DOME

ON THE NUPTIAL EVE OF TRACY SAMANTHA--

WHEE!

TRACY SAMANTHA...

TRACY...

YOU CAN'T MARRY THAT GUY.

GEORGE?

I'M GOING TO.

WHY NOT?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

I THOUGHT I'D BE FOR IT AT FIRST,

BUT YOU JUST DON'T SEEM TO MATCH UP.

THEN THE FAULT'S WITH ME.

MAYBE SO, BUT ALL THE SAME, YOU CAN'T DO IT.

NO?

NO.

COME AROUND ABOUT NOON TOMORROW--

I MEAN, TODAY.

SNOB.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SNOB?

YOU'RE THE WORST KIND THERE IS--

AN INTELLECTUAL SNOB.

YOU MADE UP YOUR MIND AWFULLY YOUNG,

IT SEEMS TO ME.

WELL, 30'S ABOUT TIME TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND,

AND I'M NOTHING OF THE SORT,

NOT MR. CONNOR.

THE TIME TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND ABOUT PEOPLE IS NEVER.

YES, YOU ARE... AND A COMPLETE ONE.

YOU'RE QUITE A GIRL, AREN'T YOU?

YOU THINK?

YEAH, I KNOW.

THANK YOU, PROFESSOR.

I DON'T THINK I'M EXCEPTIONAL.

YOU ARE.

I KNOW ANY NUMBER LIKE ME.

YOU OUGHT TO GET AROUND MORE.

YES.

WITHIN THE UPPER CLASS?

NO, NO. NO, THANK YOU.

YOU'RE JUST A MASS OF PREJUDICES, AREN'T YOU?

YOU'RE SO MUCH THOUGHT

AND SO LITTLE FEELING, PROFESSOR.

OH, I AM, AM I?

YES, YOU AM, ARE YOU?

YOUR INTOLERANCE INFURIATES ME.

I SHOULD THINK THAT OF ALL PEOPLE

A WRITER WOULD NEED TOLERANCE.

THE FACT IS, YOU'LL NEVER--

YOU CAN'T BE A FIRST-RATE WRITER

OR A FIRST-RATE HUMAN BEING

UNTIL YOU'VE LEARNED TO HAVE SOME SMALL REGARD

FOR HUMAN FR--

AREN'T THE GERANIUMS PRETTY, PROFESSOR?

IS IT NOT A HANDSOME DAY THAT BEGINS, PROFESSOR?

LAY OFF THAT PROFESSOR.

YES, PROFESSOR.

YOU'VE GOT ALL THE ARROGANCE OF YOUR CLASS, HAVEN'T YOU?

WHAT HAVE CLASSES TO DO WITH IT?

WHAT DO THEY MATTER EXCEPT FOR THE PEOPLE IN THEM?

GEORGE COMES FROM THE SO-CALLED LOWER CLASS,

DEXTER FROM THE UPPER.

MAC THE NIGHT WATCHMAN IS A PRINCE AMONG MEN,

UNCLE WILLIE IS A--

PINCHER.

UPPER AND LOWER, MY EYE.

I'LL TAKE THE LOWER, THANKS.

IF YOU CAN'T GET A DRAWING ROOM.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

MY MISTAKE.

DECIDEDLY. YOU'RE INSULTING.

DON'T APOLOGIZE.

WHO'S APOLOGIZING?

I NEVER KNEW SUCH A MAN.

YOU WOULDN'T BE LIKELY TO FROM WHERE YOU SIT.

TALK ABOUT ARROGANCE.

TRACY.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

YOU'RE WONDERFUL.

HA HA HA HA HA!

THERE'S A MAGNIFICENCE IN YOU, TRACY.

NOW...I'M GETTING SELF-CONSCIOUS.

IT'S FUNNY. I...

MIKE, LET'S...

YEAH?

I DON'T KNOW,

GO UP, I GUESS. IT'S LATE.

THE MAGNIFICENCE THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR EYES

AND YOUR VOICE

AND THE WAY YOU STAND THERE

AND THE WAY YOU WALK.

YOU'RE LIT FROM WITHIN, TRACY.

YOU'VE GOT FIRES BANKED DOWN IN YOU--

HEARTH FIRES AND HOLOCAUSTS.

I DON'T SEEM TO YOU MADE OF BRONZE?

NO. YOU'RE MADE OUT OF FLESH AND BLOOD.

THAT'S THE BLANK UNHOLY SURPRISE OF IT.

WHY, YOU'RE THE GOLDEN GIRL, TRACY,

FULL OF LIFE AND WARMTH AND DELIGHT.

WHAT GOES ON? YOU'VE GOT TEARS IN YOUR EYES.

SHUT UP. SHUT UP.

OH, MIKE, KEEP TALKING. KEEP TALKING.

TALK, WILL YOU?

NO, NO, I...

I'VE STOPPED.

WHY?

HAS YOUR MIND TAKEN HOLD AGAIN, DEAR PROFESSOR?

GOOD THING, DON'T YOU AGREE?

NO, PROFESSOR.

LAY OFF THAT PROFESSOR STUFF, DO YOU HEAR ME?

YES, PROFESSOR.

IT'S REALLY ALL I AM TO YOU, IS IT?

OF COURSE, PROFESSOR.

ARE YOU SURE?

WHY, YES, OF COURSE--

GOLLY.

GOLLY MOSES!

TRACY.

ALL OF A SUDDEN I'VE GOT THE SHAKES.

IT CAN'T BE ANYTHING LIKE LOVE, CAN IT?

NO, IT MUSTN'T BE. IT CAN'T.

WOULD IT BE INCONVENIENT?

TERRIBLY.

ANYWAY, I KNOW IT ISN'T.

OH, MIKE, WE'RE OUT OF OUR MINDS.

AND RIGHT INTO OUR HEARTS.

THAT OLD-TIME MUSIC.

IT DOES, DOESN'T IT?

AS IF MY INSTEPS WERE MELTING AWAY.

HAVE I GOT FEET OF CLAY OR SOMETHING?

IT'S NOT FAR TO THE POOL.

IT'S JUST OVER THE LAWN AND IN THE BIRCH GROVE.

TRACY, YOU'RE TREMENDOUS.

PUT ME IN YOUR POCKET, MIKE.

OH, I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT MAKES ME SO SLEEPY.

COULDN'T BE THE COMPANY, COULD IT?

IT'S YOU, MR. DEXTER.

HELLO, MAC.

I HEARD YOU WERE ABOUT.

CAN MISS IMBRIE GET IN THIS WAY?

IF SHE CAN'T, YOU CAN ALWAYS GO IN THE BACK.

THANKS, MAC. GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT, SIR.

WELL, HOME AFTER A HARD DAY'S BLACKMAILING.

WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TELEPHONE KIDD?

IN TIME TO GET HIM HERE FOR THE WEDDING.

WHY?

MMM. A SORT OF WEDDING PRESENT...

IF IT WORKS.

IF IT WORKS.

I COULD STILL TEAR IT UP.

NO, MIKE'S ONLY CHANCE

TO EVER BECOME A REALLY FINE WRITER IS TO GET FIRED.

YOU'RE A GOOD NUMBER, LIZ.

OH, I JUST PHOTOGRAPH WELL.

I'M CERTAINLY OUT OF FOCUS NOW.

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A SWIM?

A SWIM?

SURE. TRACY AND I ALWAYS TOOK A SWIM AFTER A PARTY.

DID YOU?

MM-HMM.

I BET IT WAS FUN.

I'LL HAVE TO TRY IT WITH MIKE SOMETIME.

LIZ...

WHY DON'T YOU MARRY HIM?

YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?

HE'S STILL GOT A LOT TO LEARN.

I DON'T WANT TO GET IN HIS WAY FOR A WHILE.

OK?

OK.

IT'S RISKY, THOUGH, LIZ.

SUPPOSE ANOTHER GIRL CAME ALONG IN THE MEANTIME?

I'D SCRATCH HER EYES OUT, I GUESS.

THAT IS, UNLESS SHE WAS GOING TO MARRY SOMEBODY ELSE

THE NEXT DAY.

HEY!

HELLO, KITTREDGE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I'M A FRIEND OF THE FAMILY'S.

JUST DROPPED IN FOR A CHAT.

DON'T BE FUNNY. I ASKED YOU A QUESTION.

I COULD ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION.

I TELEPHONED TRACY,

AND HER PHONE DIDN'T ANSWER.

I WAS WORRIED,

SO I WALKED OVER FROM THE GATEHOUSE.

I WAS WORRIED, TOO.

ABOUT WHAT?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS FELLOW CONNOR?

OR DO YOU?

IF YOU'RE TRYING TO INSINUATE--

MY DEAR CHAP, I WOULDN'T INSINUATE ANYTHING, ONLY...

KITTREDGE, I'D ADVISE YOU TO GO TO BED.

I DON'T WANT YOUR ADVICE.

I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE.

YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE.

SOMEHOW I DON'T THINK YOU'LL UNDERSTAND.

YOU BETTER LEAVE THAT...

[CONNOR] ♪ ...DREAMS REALLY DO COME TRUE

SOMEDAY I'LL WISH UPON A STAR... ♪

WHAT'S THAT?

THAT'S MAC THE NIGHT WATCHMAN SINGING.

I'LL WALK YOU AROUND THE HOUSE.

SOMETHING'S GOING ON HERE, AND I'M STAYING...

AND SO ARE YOU.

ALL RIGHT, THEN.

TAKE THE WORKS. ONLY HEAVEN HELP YOU.

SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW

WAY UP HIGH

THERE'S A LAND THAT I HEARD OF

ONCE IN A LULLABY

SOMEWHERE... ♪

[HUMMING]

AND THE DREAMS THAT I DARE TO DR-- ♪

DON'T STOP, MIKEY. KEEP CROONING.

AHEM.

SOMEDAY OVER THE RAINBOW

WAY UP HIGH ♪♪

WHAT IS THIS, CONNOR?

EASY, OLD MAN. SHE'S NOT HURT?

NO, NO.

NOT WOUNDED, SIR, BUT DEAD.

SEEMS THE MINUTE SHE HIT THE WATER,

THE WINE HIT HER.

NOW, LOOK HERE, CONNOR--

A LIKELY STORY, CONNOR.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

A LIKELY STORY.

YOU'LL BE DOWN DIRECTLY?

YES, IF YOU WANT.

HELLO, DEXTER.

HELLO, GEORGE.

HELLO, MIKE.

SECOND DOOR ON THE RIGHT, TOP OF THE STAIRS.

MY FEET ARE MADE OF CLAY, MADE OF CLAY.

DID YOU KNOW? GOOD NIGHT, MOTHER.

HOW ARE THE MIGHTY FALLEN.

WELL, IF I KNOW TRACY, AND I KNOW HER WELL,

SHE'LL REMEMBER LITTLE OF THIS.

FOR THE SECOND TIME IN HER LIFE,

SHE'LL DRAW QUITE A TIDY BLANK.

OH.

YOU DON'T BELIEVE IT, THEN?

BELIEVE WHAT?

WELL, THE, UH...

THE IMPLICATIONS OF WHAT YOU SAW, LET US SAY.

WHAT ELSE AM I TO BELIEVE?

THAT'S ENTIRELY UP TO YOU.

I GOT EYES. I GOT IMAGINATION, HAVEN'T I?

I DON'T KNOW. HAVE YOU?

OH, SO YOU PRETEND NOT TO BELIEVE IT?

YES, I PRETEND NOT TO.

THEN YOU DON'T KNOW WOMEN.

THAT'S POSSIBLE.

AND YOU'RE A FOOL.

THAT'S QUITE POSSIBLE.

YOU WON'T BE TOO HARD ON HER, WILL YOU?

I'LL DECIDE WHAT I'LL BE.

WELL, WE'RE ALL ONLY HUMAN, YOU KNOW.

YOU--ALL OF YOU--

WITH YOUR SOPHISTICATED IDEAS.

AIN'T IT AWFUL?

WELL.

WHY, YOU...

SAY, LISTEN, WHAT RIGHT HAVE YOU--

A HUSBAND'S!

TILL TOMORROW, KITTREDGE.

AHOY. HOW YOU FEELING?

HOW DO YOU FEEL?

NOW, LOOK, IF YOU THINK I--

I KNOW. I'M SORRY.

I THOUGHT I'D HIT YOU BEFORE HE DID.

HE'S IN BETTER SHAPE THAN I AM.

WELL, YOU'LL DO.

HELLO, MR. DEXTER. ANYTHING WRONG?

NOT A THING, MAC.

JUST AS QUIET AS A CHURCH.

WHO IS IT?

DOGGONE, I THOUGHT IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN MR. KITTREDGE.

WELL, WE CAN'T HAVE EVERYTHING, MAC.

GOOD NIGHT.

MR. TRACY.

GOOD GRIEF, MAN, DON'T SCREAM AT ME LIKE THAT.

MISS DINAH IS WAITING FOR YOU, SIR.

MISS DINAH WAITING FOR ME? WHERE AND WHY?

JUST OUTSIDE THE DOOR, SIR.

I DON'T KNOW WHY.

THIS IS ONE OF THOSE DAYS

WHICH THE PAGES OF HISTORY TEACHES

ARE BEST SPENT LYING IN BED.

UNCLE WILLIE!

UNCLE WILLIE! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

BACK TO BED UNLESS YOU GIVE ME YOUR OATH

YOU'LL SPEAK IN A CIVILIZED TONE OF VOICE.

I'LL BE QUIET, UNCLE WILLIE.

IT'S SO IMPORTANT THAT I SEE YOU.

MUST WE RIDE IN THAT?

WE'D BE MORE COMFORTABLE ON POGO STICKS.

THIS IS VERY INTIMATE.

OHH! OW!

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

OH, NOTHING. MY HEAD FELL OFF, THAT'S ALL.

WHAT IS ALL THIS GIBBERISH ABOUT MR. CONNOR?

WHAT MAKES YOU SUSPECT WHAT AND SINCE WHEN?

LAST NIGHT AND WELL INTO THE MORNING.

UNCLE WILLIE, ISN'T MY DUTY TO TELL GEORGE?

HE MIGHT WANT TO MARRY HER ANYWAY.

IF SHE MARRIES ANYONE,

IT'S GOT TO BE MR. CONNOR.

WHY, DINAH, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SHE SHOULD?

APPARENTLY THE LITTLE CHERUB HAS HEARD OR SEEN SOMETHING.

THAT'S DEXTER'S OWN DINAH.

I MUST SAY, YOU HAVE CHEEK

COMING HERE ON THIS OF ALL MORNINGS.

DO I?

YES.

WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT MR. CONNOR?

DID THE PARTY LAST NIGHT

GIVE YOU BAD DREAMS?

IT WASN'T ANY DREAM.

IT'S PRETTY HARD TO TELL

ONCE YOU'VE GONE TO SLEEP.

IS IT?

WHAT, HO, THE BRIDE.

[DINAH] TRACY.

HELLO.

UM...ISN'T IT A FINE DAY, THOUGH?

IS EVERYBODY FINE?

THAT'S FINE.

MY, I'M...HEARTY.

WELL, HOW DO YOU FEEL OTHERWISE?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ME.

I MUST HAVE HAD TOO MUCH SUN YESTERDAY.

MY EYES DON'T OPEN PROPERLY.

REALLY?

PLEASE GO HOME, DE--DEXT.

NOT UNTIL WE'VE GOT THOSE EYES OPEN.

UNCLE WILLIE.

GOOD MORNING.

THAT REMAINS TO BE SEEN.

AREN'T YOU HERE EARLY, UNCLE WILLIE?

IT'S NEARLY HALF PAST 12:00.

WELL, IT CAN'T BE. W-WHERE'S MOTHER?

SHE'S TALKING WITH THE ORCHESTRA,

FATHER WITH THE MINISTER,

AND MR. CONNOR, HE HASN'T COME DOWN YET.

UM, IT'S SATURDAY,

YOUR WEDDING DAY, REMEMBER?

THANKS LOADS. IT'S NICE TO HAVE THINGS ACC--

ONLY I WONDER WHAT THIS MIGHT BE.

THAT LOOKS TERRIBLY LIKE A WRIST WATCH.

BUT WHOSE? I--I FOUND IT IN MY ROOM.

I NEARLY STEPPED ON IT.

UH, ALSO, I THINK I WAS ROBBED

AT YOUR HOUSE LAST NIGHT, UNCLE WILLIE.

MY BRACELET AND ENGAGEMENT RINGS ARE MISSI--

HERE YOU ARE.

BUT YOU WEREN'T AT THE PARTY.

WERE YOU?

DON'T TELL ME YOU DON'T REMEMBER.

HA HA! I DO. NOW.

SORT OF.

BUT THERE WERE SUCH A LOT OF PEOPLE.

I STAYED SO LATE.

YOU SHOULD'VE TAKEN A QUICK SWIM WHEN YOU GOT HOME.

A SWIM? A SWIM?

THERE. NOW THEY'RE OPEN.

THAT WAS JUST THE BEGINNING,

AND IT WAS NO DREAM.

AHEM.

DO YOU SUPPOSE, SPEAKING OF EYEOPENERS...

THAT'S THE FIRST SANE REMARK I'VE HEARD TODAY.

I KNOW A FORMULA THAT IS SAID

TO POP THE PENNIES

OFF THE EYELIDS OF DEAD IRISHMEN.

DINAH, IF THE CONVERSATION SHOULD LAG,

YOU MIGHT TELL TRACY ABOUT YOUR DREAM.

WHAT DID HE SAY?

OH, NOTHING.

TRAY, I HATE YOU TO GET MARRIED AND GO AWAY.

I'LL MISS YOU, DARLING. I'LL MISS ALL OF YOU.

I DID HAVE THE FUNNIEST DREAM ABOUT YOU.

DID YOU? DO YOU LIKE MY DRESS, DINAH?

YES, EVER SO MUCH.

IT FEELS AWFULLY HEAVY.

IT WAS ALL CERTAINLY PRETTY ROOTY-TOOTY.

WHAT WAS?

MY DREAM.

I DREAMED I GOT UP AND WENT OVER TO THE WINDOW.

AND GUESS WHAT I DREAMED CAME OUT OF THE WOODS.

I HAVEN'T THE FAINTEST IDEA. A SKUNK?

WELL, SORT OF.

IT WAS MR. CONNOR.

MR. CONNOR?

YES. WITH HIS BOTH ARMS FULL OF SOMETHING,

AND GUESS WHAT IT TURNED OUT TO BE.

WHAT?

YOU...AND SOME CLOTHES. WASN'T IT FUNNY?

IT WAS SORT OF LIKE

AS IF YOU WERE COMING FROM THE POOL.

THE POOL?

I'M GOING CRAZY.

I'M STANDING HERE SOLIDLY

ON MY OWN TWO HANDS

AND GOING CRAZY.

THEN WHAT?

AFTER A WHILE, I OPENED MY DOOR A CRACK,

AND THERE HE WAS IN THE HALL, STILL COMING WITH YOU,

PUFFING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.

HIS WIND CAN'T BE VERY GOOD.

THEN WHAT?

THEN YOU WERE SORT OF CROONING.

I NEVER CROONED IN MY LIFE.

I'M ONLY SAYING WHAT IT SOUNDED LIKE.

AND THEN HE...

GUESS WHAT.

I COULDN'T POSSIBLY.

THEN HE JUST SAILED RIGHT INTO YOUR ROOM WITH YOU.

THAT SCARED ME,

SO I WENT TO YOUR DOOR AND PEEKED IN

TO MAKE SURE YOU WERE ALL RIGHT,

AND GUESS WHAT.

WHAT?

YOU WERE. HE WAS GONE BY THEN.

GONE?

OF COURSE, HE WAS GONE.

HE WAS NEVER THERE.

I KNOW, TRACY.

I SHOULD CERTAINLY HOPE YOU DID.

I'M CERTAINLY GLAD I DO.

IF I DIDN'T AND I HEARD THE MINISTER SAY,

"IF ANYONE KNOWS ANY JUST CAUSE OR REASON

WHY THESE TWO SHOULD NOT BE UNITED IN HOLY MATRIMONY,"

I JUST WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

DEXTER SAYS IT'S A DREAM, TOO.

DE--YOU TOLD DEXTER ALL THAT?

NOT A WORD, NOT A SINGLE WORD.

YOU KNOW HOW QUICK HE IS.

DINAH LORD, YOU LITTLE FIEND, HOW CAN YOU--

DINAH, YOUR MOTHER WANTS TO HAVE A LOOK AT YOU.

I LOOK WONDERFUL. I SMELL GOOD, TOO.

FATHER?

YES, TRACY?

I, UM...I'M GLAD YOU CAME BACK.

I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

WHY, THANK YOU, CHILD.

I'M SORRY I'M...

TRULY SORRY I'M A DISAPPOINTMENT TO YOU.

I NEVER SAID THAT, DAUGHTER,

AND I NEVER WILL.

GOOD MORNING.

OH. HELLO.

UH...

[SNIFFING]

TESTING THE AIR.

I LIKE IT, BUT IT DOESN'T LIKE ME.

AH. HELLO, DINAH.

HOW DO YOU DO?

DID YOU HAVE A GOOD SLEEP?

WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL. AND YOU?

MAR-MARVELOUS.

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A HANDSOMER DAY?

NEVER, NEVER.

WHAT DID IT SET YOU BACK?

I GOT IT FOR NOTHING FOR BEING A GOOD GIRL.

GOOD, GOOD.

DON'T WORRY. I'M GOING.

WHY SHOULD YOU?

I GUESS YOU MUST HAVE THINGS YOU WISH TO DISCUSS.

ONLY REMEMBER, "IT'S GETTING LATE."

SHE'S ALWAYS TRYING TO MAKE SITUATIONS.

WELL.

WELL.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOUR CHIN?

CHIN? HUH? OH.

DOES IT SHOW VERY MUCH?

A LITTLE. WHAT HAPPENED?

I GUESS I STUCK IT OUT TOO FAR.

INTO A DOOR IN THE DARK?

YES, YES. THAT'S IT.

TRACY, WHAT ABOUT YOU? ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

ME? OH, OF COURSE.

WHY SHOULDN'T I BE?

THAT WAS A FLOCK OF WINE WE GOT AWAY WITH.

I GUESS WE'RE LUCKY BOTH TO HAVE SUCH GOOD HEADS.

YEAH, YEAH, I GUESS THAT'S IT.

WELL, ANYWAY,

I--I HAD A SIMPLY WONDERFUL EVENING.

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT, TOO.

I ENJOYED THE LAST PART OF IT.

REALLY?

WHY ESPECIALLY THE LAST?

WELL, TRACY, ARE YOU ASKING ME?

OH, YOU MEAN THE SWIM.

OH, WE DID SWIM...

AND SO FORTH, DIDN'T WE?

MIKE.

OH, TRACY, DARLING.

MIKE.

WHAT CAN I SAY? TELL ME, DARLING.

DON'T SAY ANYTHING

AND ESPECIALLY NOT "DARLING."

THEN YOU'RE GOING THROUGH WITH IT, HUH?

THROUGH WITH WHAT?

THE WEDDING.

W-WHY SHOULDN'T I?

WELL, I MADE A FUNNY DISCOVERY.

IN SPITE OF THE FACT

THAT SOMEBODY'S UP FROM THE BOTTOM,

HE CAN STILL BE QUITE A HEEL.

EVEN THOUGH SOMEBODY ELSE IS BORN TO THE PURPLE,

HE CAN STILL BE A VERY NICE GUY.

WELL, I'M JUST REPEATING WHAT YOU SAID LAST NIGHT.

I SAID A LOT OF THINGS LAST NIGHT, IT SEEMS.

OK. NO DICE.

ALSO NO REGRETS ABOUT LAST NIGHT, HUH?

WHY SHOULD I HAVE?

OH, TRACY, YOU'RE WONDERFUL.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

I'M ASKING YOU. TELL ME STRAIGHT OUT.

TELL ME THE REASON WHY I SHOULD HAVE HAD.

NO, DON'T.

JUST TELL ME WHAT TIME IS IT.

WHAT--

OH, W-WHAT HAPPENED TO MY WRIST WATCH?

WHY, IS IT BROKEN?

I MUST HAVE LOST IT SOMEPLACE.

I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW EXTREMELY SORRY

I AM TO HEAR THAT.

THERE. ON THE TABLE.

MMM. WHO FOUND IT?

I'D OFFER A REWARD OR SOMETHING.

I DON'T THINK THAT ANY REWARD WILL BE EXPECTED.

FUNNY IT WOULD POP UP HERE, ISN'T IT?

HEY, WHAT ABOUT AN EYEOPENER, HUH?

MY EYES ARE OPENED.

YOU GO AHEAD AND GET ONE IF YOU WANT TO.

YEAH, I THINK I WILL.

YES, YES.

NO, JUST GIVE MR. KITTREDGE THE MESSAGE.

TELL HIM HE'D BETTER START IMMEDIATELY.

THANK YOU.

ARE YOU ONE OF THE MUSICIANS?

UH, NO.

OF COURSE. YOU'RE JUNIUS' FRIEND, ONLY YOU'RE NOT.

YOU DON'T HAVE ANY VIOLIN STRINGS, DO YOU?

UH, ASPIRIN. WILL THAT DO?

I DON'T THINK SO. IT'S FOR A VIOLIN.

OH, WELL. DON'T BOTHER.

OH, DEAR.

HELLO, CONNOR. HOW ARE YOU?

WELL, JUST ABOUT AS YOU'D THINK.

YOU SEEN KIDD?

I LEFT A COPY OF IT AT MY HOUSE FOR HIM.

I'LL HAVE IT OUT WITH HIM AFTER THE WEDDING.

IS THAT AN ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE?

YES. WHY?

IS IT FOR ME?

IT'S FOR TRACY. WANT ONE?

I'D SELL MY GRANDMOTHER FOR A DRINK.

UNCLE WILLIE'S IN THE PANTRY

DOING WEIRD AND WONDERFUL THINGS.

TELL HIM ONE OF THE SAME.

MIND IF IT'S TWO?

THAT'S BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR GRANDMOTHER.

DOCTOR'S ORDERS, RED.

WHAT IS IT?

JUST THE JUICE OF A FEW FLOWERS.

IT'S A TYPE OF STINGER. IT REMOVES THE STING.

OH, DEXT, DON'T SAY THAT.

OH, WHY NOT, RED?

NOTHING WILL. NOTHING EVER CAN.

OH, DEXT, I...

I'VE DONE THE MOST TERRIBLE THING TO YOU.

TO ME?

OH, I DOUBT THAT.

I DOUBT IT VERY MUCH, DEAR.

YOU DON'T KNOW. YOU DON'T KNOW.

WELL, MAYBE I SHOULDN'T, THEN.

YOU MUST. I COULDN'T STAND IT IF YOU DIDN'T.

DEXT, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

DARLING, WHY ASK ME?

WHY DO I COME INTO IT ANYMORE?

AREN'T YOU CONFUSING ME

WITH A FELLOW NAMED KITTREDGE OR SOMETHING?

GEORGE.

GEORGE. SPLENDID CHAP, GEORGE.

VERY HIGH MORALS.

VERY BROAD SHOULDERS.

I'VE GOT TO TELL HIM.

TELL HIM WHAT, DARLING?

I'VE GOT TO TELL HIM.

YOU GOT TO TELL HIM?

IF HE'S GOT ANY BRAINS,

HE'LL HAVE REALIZED WHAT A FOOL HE MADE OF HIMSELF.

HELLO, GEORGE? THIS--

GEORGE, I DON'T CARE WHETHER IT'S BAD LUCK OR NOT,

BUT I'VE GOT TO SEE YOU BEFORE THE WEDDING.

WHAT? NO, I DIDN'T GET IT.

RIGHT. COME ON THE RUN.

HE SENT A NOTE OVER AT 10:00.

I TOLD YOU HE'D COME TO HIS SENSES.

WAS HE HERE, TOO?

SURE.

GOOD GOLLY, WHY DIDN'T YOU SELL TICKETS?

SAY SOMETHING, DEXT.

SAY ANYTHING.

NO, YOU DO.

OH, DEXT.

I'M SUCH AN UNHOLY MESS OF A GIRL.

WELL, THAT'S NO GOOD. THAT'S NOT EVEN CONVERSATION.

BUT NEVER IN MY LIFE, NOT IF I LIVE TO BE 100,

WILL I EVER FORGET HOW YOU TRIED

TO STAND ME ON MY FEET AGAIN TODAY.

OH, YOU? YOU'RE IN GREAT SHAPE.

OH!

TELL ME, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF MY WEDDING PRESENT?

I LIKE MY PRESENTS AT LEAST ACKNOWLEDGED.

IT WAS BEAUTIFUL...

AND SWEET, DEXT.

YES, YEAH.

SHE WAS QUITE A BOAT, THE TRUE LOVE, WASN'T SHE?

WAS AND...IS.

MY, SHE WAS YARE.

SHE WAS YARE, ALL RIGHT.

I...WASN'T, WAS I?

NOT VERY.

OH, YOU WERE GOOD AT THE BRIGHT WORK, THOUGH.

I MADE HER SHINE.

WHERE IS SHE NOW?

I'M GOING TO SELL HER TO RUTH WATRESS.

YOU'RE GOING TO SELL THE TRUE LOVE?

MM-HMM.

FOR MONEY? TO THAT FAT OLD RUM POT?

OH, WELL, WHAT DOES IT MATTER?

WHEN YOU'RE THROUGH WITH A BOAT, YOU'RE THROUGH.

BESIDES, IT WAS ONLY COMFORTABLE FOR TWO PEOPLE.

UNLESS YOU WANT HER.

NO. NO, I DON'T WANT HER.

WELL, I'M DESIGNING ANOTHER ONE ANYWAY,

ALONG MORE PRACTICAL LINES.

WHAT WILL YOU CALL HER?

I THOUGHT THE TRUE LOVE II. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

DEXTER, IF YOU CALL ANY BOAT THAT,

I PROMISE I'LL BLOW YOU AND IT OUT OF THE WATER.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU CAN CALL HER

IN FOND REMEMBRANCE OF ME--

THE EASY VIRTUE.

SHUT UP, RED.

I CAN'T HAVE YOU THINKING THINGS LIKE THAT ABOUT YOURSELF.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK WHEN I--

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ANYMORE.

OH, THAT SOUNDS VERY HOPEFUL, RED.

THAT SOUNDS JUST FINE.

HA.

TRACY!

WE'RE ALMOST READY.

STAND UP, DEAR. TURN AROUND.

OH, YES, IT'S LOVELY.

I'M GLAD WE DECIDED AGAINST--

DEXTER, YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE--

AGAINST THE BLUE ONE, DEAR.

NOW, NO GAMES, DEXTER.

GEORGE WILL BE RIGHT OVER.

HERE'S A NOTE HE SENT THIS MORNING.

OH, DEAR, DOESN'T EVERYTHING LOOK LOVELY?

DR. PARSONS.

TRACY?

MR. KITTREDGE HASN'T ARRIVED YET, DR. PARSONS.

COME ALONG. I WANT YOU TO MEET TRACY'S GRANDMOTHER.

TRACY, DON'T SIT DOWN

UNTIL AFTER THE CEREMONY.

DEXTER, THEY TELEPHONED FROM YOUR HOUSE

THAT A MR. SIDNEY KIDD WAS THERE.

I WAS TO TELL YOU THAT HE'S READING IT.

WELL, I HAVE A FEELING

IT WON'T BE SO HARD TO RESIGN NOW.

AND BELTS WILL BE WORN TIGHTER THIS WINTER.

WELL, RED, I'M AFRAID IT'S THE DEADLINE.

SO IS THIS. LISTEN--

"MY DEAR TRACY, I WANT YOU TO KNOW

"THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY FRIEND,

"BUT YOUR CONDUCT LAST NIGHT

WAS SO SHOCKING TO MY IDEALS OF WOMANHOOD THAT--"

NO. DON'T GO.

YOU MIGHT AS WELL HEAR IT, TOO.

"THAT MY ATTITUDE TOWARD YOU

"AND THE PROSPECT OF A HAPPY AND USEFUL LIFE TOGETHER

"HAS BEEN CHANGED MATERIALLY.

YOUR BREACH OF COMMON DECENCY..."

TRACY.

HELLO, GEORGE.

TRACY, ALL THESE PEOPLE.

IT'S ONLY A LETTER FROM A FRIEND.

THEY'RE MY FRIENDS, TOO.

"CERTAINLY ENTITLES ME TO A FULL EXPLANATION

"BEFORE GOING THROUGH WITH OUR PROPOSED MARRIAGE.

"IN THE LIGHT OF DAY,

"I'M SURE THAT YOU WILL AGREE WITH ME.

"OTHERWISE, WITH PROFOUND REGRETS

AND ALL BEST WISHES, YOURS VERY SINCER--"

YES, GEORGE, I QUITE AGREE WITH YOU.

IN THE LIGHT OF DAY AND THE DARK OF NIGHT,

FOR RICHER, FOR POORER, FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE,

IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH,

AND THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH

FOR YOUR GOOD WISHES AT THIS TIME.

THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY?

WHAT ELSE?

I WISH FOR YOUR SAKE AS WELL AS MINE

I HAD AN EXPLANATION,

BUT UNFORTUNATELY, I'VE NONE.

YOU'D BETTER JUST SAY GOOD RIDDANCE, GEORGE.

IT ISN'T EASY, YOU KNOW.

I DON'T SEE WHY.

SAY SOMETHING, STUPID.

JUST WAIT A MINUTE.

WHAT FOR?

ON THE VERY EVE OF YOUR WEDDING,

AN AFFAIR WITH ANOTHER MAN.

I TOLD YOU I AGREE, GEORGE.

GOOD RIDDANCE TO ME.

YOUR ATTITUDE IS DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND.

I CAN SEE THAT IT WOULD BE.

NOT NECESSARILY.

KEEP OUT OF THIS.

YOU FORGET I AM OUT OF IT.

KITTREDGE, IT MAY INTEREST YOU TO KNOW

THAT THIS SO-CALLED AFFAIR CONSISTED OF TWO KISSES

AND A RATHER LATE SWIM...

THANKS, MIKE, BUT--

THE MEMORY OF WHICH I WOULDN'T PART WITH FOR ANYTHING.

NO USE, MIKE.

AFTER WHICH I DEPOSITED TRACY ON HER BED

AND PROMPTLY RETURNED DOWN HERE TO YOU TWO,

WHICH DOUBTLESS YOU'LL REMEMBER.

DOUBTLESS, WITHOUT A DOUBT.

YOU MEAN TO SAY THAT WAS ALL THERE WAS TO IT?

I DO.

WHY? WAS I SO UNATTRACTIVE?

SO DISTANT? SO FORBIDDING OR SOMETHING?

OH, THIS IS FINE TALK, TOO.

I'M ASKING A QUESTION.

YOU WERE EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE,

AS AS FOR DISTANT AND FORBIDDING,

ON THE CONTRARY,

BUT YOU WERE A LITTLE THE WORSE, OR BETTER, FOR WINE,

AND THERE ARE RULES ABOUT THAT.

THANK YOU, MIKE. I THINK MEN ARE WONDERFUL.

THE LITTLE DEARS.

I FAIL TO SEE THE HUMOR, MISS IMBRIE.

I CAN APPRECIATE THAT.

IT WAS HARD FOR ME, TOO, AT FIRST.

OH, LIZ, I--

IT'S ALL RIGHT, TRACY.

WE ALL GO HAYWIRE AT TIMES.

IF WE DON'T, MAYBE WE OUGHT TO.

LIZ...

IT REALLY WASN'T TRACY AT ALL, MR. KITTREDGE.

IT WAS ANOTHER GIRL-- A MISS POMMERY, 1926.

YOU'D HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK, TRACY.

THAT SEEMS TO BE THE CONSENSUS OF OPINION.

WILL YOU PROMISE NEVER TO TOUCH THE STUFF AGAIN?

NO, GEORGE. I DON'T BELIEVE I WILL.

THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS ABOUT THAT OTHER GIRL,

THAT MISS POMMERY, '26, I RATHER LIKE.

BUT A MAN EXPECTS HIS WIFE--

TO BEHAVE HERSELF, NATURALLY.

TO BEHAVE HERSELF NATURALLY.

SORRY.

BUT IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR THAT DRINK LAST NIGHT,

ALL THIS MIGHT NOT HAVE HAPPENED.

APPARENTLY, NOTHING DID.

WHAT MADE YOU THINK IT HAD?

WELL, IT DIDN'T TAKE MUCH IMAGINATION.

NOT MUCH, PERHAPS, BUT JUST OF A CERTAIN KIND.

IT SEEMS YOU DIDN'T THINK TOO WELL OF YOURSELF.

THAT'S THE ODD THING, GEORGE.

SOMEHOW, I'D HAVE HOPED THAT YOU'D THINK BETTER OF ME

THAN I DID.

TRACY, ALL THE EVIDENCE WAS THERE.

AND I WAS GUILTY UNTIL PROVED INNOCENT.

DOWNRIGHT UN-AMERICAN, IF YOU ASK ME.

NOBODY IS ASKING YOU.

YOU FORGOT YOUR HAT, MISS TRACY.

OH.

YOU LOOK LOVELY, MISS TRACY.

ALL OUR VERY BEST WISHES.

DEXTER, I DO WISH YOU'D LET ME KNOW

WHEN YOU INVITE PEOPLE TO TRACY'S WEDDINGS.

WHY? WHAT HAPPENED, DARLING?

MR. SIDNEY KIDD IS HERE. HE SAYS HE KNOWS YOU.

[GEORGE] SIDNEY KIDD IS HERE HIMSELF?

WHAT ELSE DID SIDNEY KIDD HAVE TO SAY?

THE STRANGEST MESSAGE--

HE SAID, "TELL HAVEN HE WINS.

TELL HIM I'M LICKED."

WINS WHAT, DEXTER?

WELL, IT'S--

MR. SIDNEY KIDD'S PRESENCE HERE

MAKES THE MARRIAGE OF NATIONAL IMPORTANCE.

WELL, I THINK

IT'S EXTREMELY KIND AND THOUGHTFUL OF HIM.

COME ON, TRACY. IT MUST BE LATE.

LET'S LET BYGONES BE BYGONES. WHAT DO YOU SAY?

YES, AND...GOOD-BYE, GEORGE.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU.

PLEASE, GOOD-BYE.

BUT LOOK HERE, TRACY--

YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR ME, GEORGE.

YOU'RE 100 TIMES TOO GOOD.

I'D MAKE YOU MOST UNHAPPY, MOST.

THAT IS, I'D DO MY BEST TO.

WELL, IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU WANT IT.

THAT'S THE WAY IT IS.

ALL RIGHT.

POSSIBLY, IT'S JUST AS WELL.

I THOUGHT YOU'D FINALLY COME TO THAT CONCLUSION.

I HAVE A FEELING

YOU HAD MORE TO DO WITH THIS THAN ANYONE.

POSSIBLY, BUT YOU WERE A GREAT HELP.

YOU AND YOUR WHOLE ROTTEN CLASS.

CLASS, MY EYE.

YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY OUT, THE LOT OF YOU,

AND GOOD RIDDANCE!

THERE GOES GEORGE.

OHH...

[HUMMING A WALTZ]

[ORGAN PLAYING HERE COMES THE BRIDE]

OH, MY SAINTED AUNT.

LOOK AT THAT WELTER OF FACES.

OH, MY, THEY LOOK SOLEMN.

WHAT AM I TO DO?

TRACY?

YES, MIKE?

OLD PARSON PARSONS--

HE'S NEVER SEEN KITTREDGE, HAS HE?

I GOT YOU INTO THIS THING.

I'LL GET YOU OUT OF IT.

WILL YOU MARRY ME, TRACY?

NO, MIKE.

THANKS, BUT...

UH-UH. NOPE.

I'VE NEVER ASKED A GIRL TO MARRY ME BEFORE.

I'VE AVOIDED IT.

YOU'VE GOT ME ALL CONFUSED NOW.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE I DON'T THINK LIZ WOULD LIKE IT,

AND I'M NOT SURE YOU WOULD,

AND I'M EVEN A LITTLE DOUBTFUL ABOUT MYSELF,

BUT I AM BEHOLDEN TO YOU, MIKE.

I'M MOST BEHOLDEN.

BUT THEY'RE IN THERE. THEY'RE WAITING.

DON'T GET TOO CONVENTIONAL ALL AT ONCE.

THERE WILL BE A REACTION.

CHEER UP, RED. IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

YOU'VE BEEN GOT OUT OF JAMS BEFORE.

BEEN GOT OUT OF THEM, DID YOU SAY?

DON'T WORRY. YOU ALWAYS HAVE BEEN.

TRACY...

MOTHER.

WE'VE SEEN GEORGE. IT'S ALL RIGHT, DEAR.

YOUR FATHER WILL MAKE

A VERY SIMPLE ANNOUNCEMENT.

IS THERE ANYTHING SPECIAL YOU WANT ME TO SAY?

UH, NO, NO. I'LL SAY IT.

WHATEVER IT IS, I'LL SAY IT.

I WON'T BE GOT OUT OF ANYTHING ANYMORE.

I, UM...

I, UH...

I, UH...

HELLO.

GOOD MORNING. I--

STOP THAT MUSIC.

[ORGAN STOPS PLAYING]

I'M TERRIBLY SORRY TO HAVE KEPT YOU WAITING,

BUT THERE'S BEEN A SLIGHT HITCH IN THE PROCEEDINGS.

I MADE A TERRIBLE FOOL OF MYSELF,

WHICH ISN'T UNUSUAL,

AND MY FIANCE, MY FIANCE THAT WAS, THAT IS,

HE THINKS WE BETTER CALL IT A DAY,

AND I QUITE AGREE WITH HIM.

PEACE IS WONDERFUL.

UH...UH... DEXTER, DEXTER, WHAT NEXT?

TWO YEARS AGO, I DID YOU OUT OF A WEDDING

BY ELOPING TO MARYLAND.

TWO YEARS AGO, YOU WERE INVITED TO A WEDDING...

DEAR, JUST A LOAN.

PUT THIS RING IN YOUR VEST POCKET.

NO VEST.

HOLD IT IN YOUR HAND.

WHICH WAS VERY BAD MANNERS,

WHICH WAS VERY BAD MANNERS.

I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU BY GOING THROUGH WITH IT

AS ORIGINALLY PLANNED.

I'LL MAKE IT UP BY--

BY GOING BEAUTIFULLY THROUGH WITH IT NOW

AS ORIGINALLY AND MOST BEAUTIFULLY PLANNED.

SO IF YOU'LL JUST KEEP YOUR SEATS...

SO IF YOU'LL JUST KEEP YOUR SEATS...

THAT'S ALL.

UM, THAT'S ALL. DEXTER, ARE YOU SURE?

NO, BUT I'LL RISK IT. WILL YOU?

YOU BET.

YOU DIDN'T DO IT JUST TO SOFTEN THE BLOW OR SAVE MY FACE?

NO. IT'S A NICE LITTLE FACE.

DEXTER, I'LL BE YARE.

BE WHATEVER YOU LIKE. ARE YOU ALL SET?

BEST MAN?

HONORED, C.K.

MAID OF HONOR?

MATRON OF HONOR. REMEMBER JOE SMITH?

OH, HOW DID THIS EVER HAPPEN?

YOU'D BETTER TELL MR. DUTTON TO START THE MUSIC.

OH, THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING,

BUT COME WITH ME, MISS IMBRIE.

BEST MAN, GOT THE RING?

YEAH, BUT THE WAY WE'RE DRESSED,

WE LOOK LIKE A COUPLE OF STOWAWAYS.