Practice English Speaking&Listening with: CHILD GETS SCARRED FOR LIFE | Jacksepticeye's Funniest Home Videos

Difficulty: 0

Thank you! Thanks everyone. Thanks. Yes. Welcome back! *applause*

Welcome. You. No you. *applause continues*

Okay, you can stop. *even more applause*

Okay, you can fucking stop! *all stop but one*

Thank you, welcome back everyone to

Jacksepticeye's Funniest Home Videos. The try not to laugh series that we titled differently

just because we can. We're Mad Lads like that. My tiny little Elvish children have been all over the internet.

All over this week. Been perusing

around sticking their tiny little fingers in holes that many of us can't even reach. All in the hopes of trying to find [Mwah!] the

funniest videos that we possibly can all across the world. Now turns out it's very hard to do because most of the stuff out there

Is just plain cringy, but hopefully we've actually found some stuff that's worth reacting to and worth watching.

I always try to find that-

I mean, they always try to find [Clears throat] the newest videos that we can, some of the freshest content;

because otherwise

we're just reacting to stuff that everybody else is already done a million times

and then everyone in the comments just loves to tell me how I'm late to things. Anyway, apparently does bird learn how to bark?

[Bird barking like a dog]

Oh my god.

Holy crap!

I want one. I want one.

Mom! Can we get a cockatoo that barks like a dog?

I mean I was expecting something like oh it's going to sound like [Barking weakly]

I didn't expect it to actually sound like a dog. Like, wha- do this, close your eyes right now, just close them.

No, CLOSE THEM. Okay, good. I'll do the same thing close our eyes and let's replay the video and just listen to it.

[Bird barking like a dog]

You would think that that's a real dog. I am convinced. [Claps] Here Sparky!

Here! Can't pet it like a real dog though. [Jack gets sad] Oh, you should put it on a leash and just walk around with it.

That's incredible. I love birds.

Okay? What am I waiting for? *Darude Sandstorm plays*

[Jack laughing]

Look at him go!


Okay, that was good. That was worth it.

I didn't think it was going to be anything there for a second, because it just starts off with completely no audio altogether.

Looks like it says PMA on his pin.

Yeah! [Jack laughing] *Darude Sandstorm plays again*

Aw. That cat thinks it's human. Just after realizing so many of these are animal based that was not the plan,

it's just that apparently animals are the funniest thing ever. This is apparently a super-fast turtle.


Look at him go!

Holy crap.

I have never seen a turtle move that fast.

Wait we need to give him some need to give them some some music for him to go to.

Okay, this I do this every time I I stream fortnight wait for it, wait for it.

[Laughs] *plays deja vu meme music*

Yeah, look at him go! [Laughs]

Yes. Meme songs. Perfect.

[yodeling sound with impact sound with the sound of a cat and a chicken]

Oh God Jesus!

Oh my god that kid got messed up.

I wanted to just say wasted like in Grand Theft Auto.

Oh my god the odds of that happening...


Oh knocked the F out, well he's not cuz he sits back up and holds his face, but,

that must have hurt like hell. I'm glad somebody stepped in to help him. Um, stop the ball.

Yes, yes my favorite song. Yes!

*deja vu meme song*


[Laughs some more]

[While laughing] Yeah!

[More laughter from Jack]

Oh that's the fucking best!

[While laughing] It just keeps going!

Yo. Fuck yes. He just sees the dab his way through and then the meme is complete.


That's that's like my favorite meme song and it comes from...

Uh, is the name of the anime Initial D?

It's like a car anime, but it's all about drifting the cars and stuff.

And that's one of the songs they play it's like, you know, you know, it's time to drift and that song kicks in.

Whenever I play Fortnite, I play it whenever I drop out of the bus all the way down

Yeah, I'm basically 12. What of it?

It's so good.

I love how the other guys keep .chasing him as well.


[Laughs some more]

Fuck you dude!

Is this like the in my feelings challenge? The Hispanic version?

Mother: Turn that music off! Son: It's a joke, it's a joke

Mother: Joke your mother!! I told you to get the trash out! (Jack: Oh shit)

Son: IT'S A JOKE D: !! Mother: When your father arrives I will tell him you idiot

Son: Its a frikin joke!!

Mother: I don't care if "joke", I told you: "Get the trash out"! What I say comes first!!

Mother: and what are you looking at?

You know, it's serious, you know, it's serious when the mom comes out with the slipper the sandal the flip-flop

That's how you know.

You're about to get your ass beaten.

And then as soon as she points that the other person in the car, she's like god, I wasn't doing anything I swear.

Mother: Joke your mother!! I told you to get the trash out!

Son: IT'S A JOKE D: !!

Mother: When your father arrives I will tell him you idiot (Jack: I want to know what she is saying.)


Mother: I don't care if "joke"", I told you: "Get the trash out"! What I say comes first!!

Mother: and what are you looking at, a-- (Video cut as she was about to say a-hole)

Okay, can anybody translate that for me because I have no idea what she's saying.

Maybe she's actually just saying all this time you out here dancing for memes and your father home sick in bed.

I was cooking you dinner and I thought you were in playing Xbox all night.

I don't know. Oh my god. I love this already

This dude is my hero

Not only can he put his legs behind his head

but he is resting a glass of whiskey on his crotch

Hey, what are you doing?


[While laughing] Yes!

Here's our God!

He's the meme sent by CyberLife.

That's definitely an Android. There's no way that that's a real person. Oh, no, this is called. What? Oh, yeah. Oh, no...

[While laughing] Eww!

The video is called "What a shithead". Oh, that's so gross. Eww! [Gagging]

Oh I'm not gonna get demonetized am I for showing this.

Oh actually I am gonna gag. I don't like it.

I need something to take my (Ugh) I need something to clear my head from all the shit.



Is it a turtle? Yeah! Or tortoise.

Oh, he's trying his best.

He's trying his best okay? Leave him alone.

He needs to hook up with that, that turtle from earlier on. Give him some speed. Wait. We will give him some help.

Go turtle dude! Go! [Laughs] Look at him! Majestic. *Jack plays deja vu song again*

Okay, who picked these? Who picked all of you? Why are they all animals?

I did an animal themed episode a couple of days ago, I'm not doing another one.

Okay, I guess I am. That's all there is. All right? The producers behind the camera all are like:


Ha ha, I lied! There's fucking no one there! It's just me!

So cute.

[Dog screams]

[Jack laughs]

[While laughing] For fuck-sake!

[Laughs some more]

[Laughs] Oh, That's good, that's good comedic timing.

[Dog screams]

[Jack laughs]

You guys know me by now. Any time there's a screaming dog,

I will laugh any time they're screaming children or screaming dogs. I will laugh

Shocker, my humor is just loud yelling things. Who would have known?

[Jack mimics scream]


That should just be the thumbnail, the dog and me just going: [Mimics scream] Uncanny.

[Both scream]

Ah aw.

Oh My God! [Laughing]

No, you can't do that to poor baby! The baby's not gonna trust you anymore! [Laughs]

[While laughing] Look at this fucking thing!

It was already freaked out enough.

[Jack laughs]

Oh fuck me...

Oh there's some quality, you did good Elves. You did good Elves out there. You pick some quality content.

This is like, listen to the audio in this, it's like the perfect comedic audio of anything.

[Baby crying, mom(?) makes scary noise, and baby screams]


[Mimics scream]


When you meet your bro in the club and then you guys just start dancing together. We're so in sync. Wait for it.

[Laughs] Yeah! *Jack plays deja vu song*

Look at those dudes go!

[Laughs some more]

The song goes with everything. Wait wait wait for it wait for it

*plays it another time*

Incoming copyright claim in three two, fuck. Ooh, liquid ass prank.

Have you ever smelled liquid ass? I mean not after you've had, like jalapenos.

We've all had the liquid ass after that, but stuff that you get in a can and you spray. It's disgusting.

(Very Southern) Guy: God Damn. [Jack laughs]

Guy: The fuck?!

[Jack laughs]

(uber southern accent) Guy: Did you shit in your fuckin' pants? God damn! God damn! Jack: His accent makes it so much. better

Guy: Did you shit? God damn!

[With southern accent] Did you shit?


Guy: God Damn.

[Jack laughs]

He just has the fucking Febreze or Glade ready to go. Girl: Did you just spray my stuff? Guy: Oh. Fuck I can't help it.

[Jack laughs]

Oh my god, that was good. [Laughs]

[With southern accent] God damn!

[Accent continues] Did you shet?

What the fuck is this hair doing? Get out of here. You fucking duck tail.

Well folks. I'm sorry, but that's all we got for here today.

Those are all the videos that my little Elves could cook up. Those are some good ones. I like those.

I haven't seen any of them.

And we got some good Deja Vu in there.

It's always a good day when I get some Deja Vu, but I'm gonna have to go now.

There's a group of sick kids that I need to play some music to to make them feel better, while reading them bedtime stories.

So everybody thank you so much for...



Thank you, so...

[Whispering] Play, play the thing.

*the applause returns* Thank you. Thank you so much for being here!

I hope you had fun on this episode of Jacksepticeye's Funniest Home Videos and remember, like we always say here:

*complete scilence*

Stay frosty. Good night everybody!

[With southern accent] Goddamn! Did you shit?!

The Description of CHILD GETS SCARRED FOR LIFE | Jacksepticeye's Funniest Home Videos