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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Soccer Officially Announces It Is Gay

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Welcome back to Sports Dome. It's the startling conffession that

has the whole sports world buzzing.

Soccer has come out of the coloset to tell the world it's gay.

A FIFA spokesperson made the announcement at a press conference earlier today.

-Soccer is not ashamed of what it is. Soccer is a gay sport.

Youth league soccer, the MLS, even the world cup, all of it is completely gay.

Joining us now to discuss the impact of all of this,

is OSN Senior Analyst, Reggy Greengrass.

Reggy, why did soccer choose to come out now? -Mark league officials said that soccer

was just tired of pretending to be something it's not.

Deep down, soccer is about a bunch of guys running around not touching poke-adot

ball not touching it with their hands. It shouldn't have to hide how gay it is.

-Now, will this change the way the game is played?

-No. If anything I think we'll see a firmer committment to the gayest parts of soccer,

-Interesting. -Players will free now to do their

bicycle kicks, juggle the ball with their knees.

And generally just be as gay as they want to be without worrying about what people think.

-You know it must have been difficult for soccer to hide the fact that it's gay

for so long. -Absolutely.

From ancient Greece to modern day France, there has never been a time when soccer,

wasn't extremely gay.

-Yeah and as recently as 1885 a London tabloid ran a salacious story about soccer.

-Rummors like that are what caused soccer to go great lengths to hide it's secret.

We saw in the early 90's when soccer tried to project an overly macho image.

Headlines by Alexi Lala.

-Well in retrospect it's so obvious soccer was just over-compensating.

-Yeah, apparently it wasn't until David Beckham came along that soccer

began to edge it's way out of the closet.

-Yeah, and there's even been some backlash from within soccer.

16 year old Varsity high-school player Jeff Goetter,

he released a statement saying "I don't condone or accept soccer being gay,

I don't like gay things, I don't like being around gay things."

-Hey look. Of course alot of people arn't prepared to play a gays sport.


-But fact of the matter is, soccer's out. It's proud,

it's gonna tell the world, "look at me, I'm gay! Yeah I'm gay."

-Gay things comes in all shapes and sizes. Thanks Reg.

When we come back, americas top high school masscot has signed a letter of intent,

to annoy people in UCLA.

-Alot of networks report the news as it happens.

But only one has the power to report the news before it happens.

Through our state of the art Worm-Hole Satelite,

the Onion News Network Future Channel brings you exclusive news transmissions,

from the year 2137.

Because to stay ahead in today's world, you need to know what's going to happen

in tomorrows.

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