[THUD, BANG, THUD]
Mark: Welcome! To.. Markiplier! Makes!
M: It's- it's an egg. Y-you drop an egg
into this thing...
that you make to make the egg not break.
*S M A C K*
We all did this.
Alienplier: All of us have done this.
And I am not just using this as a redemption, because
When I did it, my teacher just so happened to
And then they decided not to redo it,
because that counted as a break.
Which is the most BULLSHIT THING
in the HISTORY OF BULLSHIT!
But this isn't the reason why I'm doing this over again.
That would be petty.
That would be ridiculous,
and that would be going back to a childhood that frankly,
Things don't really matter, it's just an egg drop!
If they didn't wanna do it again, that's their own rules.
their own dumb, stupid, stupid rules
What are you doing?
Anyway, these are the eggs we're gonna do!
These eggs are not broken.
What, the hell is that?
OH, that's your pie!
M: There ya go, buddy...
M: We're gonna make two different types of protectors.
We're going to make an egg crash pad.
We're going to drop the egg, from about a story up.
Into this thing, we'll get three tries a piece
So if there's some FLUKE where the egg doesn't go into the basket
That won't count cause we'll do it again, OK?
Uhhhhh, Tyler give me the history of egg
Tyler: Uhhh there once was
this debate about chickens and eggs and which came first
But eggs, th-they come out of chICKens
And... they have to be fertilized in order for them to hatch
so there has to be a rooster involved so therefore
I-i-It's a-it's a tough debate because no matter what you're gonna have to have
either two eggs or a chicken and a rooster
you can't have one or the other.
And so the history of eggs is that [stutters]
Hen... legs... lays them.
M: You didn't really reach a conclusion there...
T: Cause it's an [stutters] a-
[Mark laughs hysterically]
M: Alright, so T: Wow
T: Y-you made a pun and you hate puns.
M: I don't hate puns, I just hate Wade.
Now we're gonna make two different types.
We're gonna make the crash pad, and then we're gonna make an envelope.
No parachutes allowed, there's a certain time limit of construction.
Then we have certain materials, get the materials over here.
E: an envelope M: Like a-
E: C A R E F U L O F T H E E G G S ! ! ! !
M: Okay so we got a bunch of materials with which we can make these things
balloons are out, that's cheating.
We got sponges we got like, spritz streamer,
we got, rubber cement?
M: Jesus E: What is that?
M: I-I think it's like a masturbater...
E: *laughs* ohh... yeah yeah yeah T: Oh wait-
E: It's a flesh-light M: Yeah [Scary music plays as the scissors slide]
[Weird noises from Mark]
*off-camera: There's some more, uh, STUFF behind you guys. *Amy: yeah...
M: Oh yeah, over there
T: Ethan get it
E: Ugh, I can't
T: It's sticky...
M: (realization) it IS sticky.
M: (sarcastic disgust) Aw, it's been used...
E: We've got this
You can't use the pillow itself, you have to open the pillow
And use the stuffing in the pillow
T: Oh, okay E: Okay
M: Towel, yeah no, what is that?
T: Spring float.
M: I'll allow it.
T: Toilet paper...
M: Toilet paper roll.
T: And more floof.
M: The basket is where you're putting it in.
So that we have a target to go for,
y'know what I mean?
M: Okay, so we're going to build
the crash pad first, right?
So these are materials that we have to work with
(disgusted) Please do not put that on me
M: That's so gross E: [laughs]
M: It's disgusting
T: It is pretty gross
M: Yeah, it's weird, right?
Who would like this?
There's a little squid in it
E: A squid?
M: Yeah, there's a little squid in it E: Oh wow
M: Okay, alright, alright
How much time do we have, you ask?
E: 3 minutes?
M: 3 minutes to build your egg catcher
M: That sound fair?
E: Yeah T: Sure
M: Alright, set a timer
Amy: Recording, now
M: Okay! [stutter] These!
Now, we'll only be able to build the other thing
With what we have left over
So, oh my god
So we have to-
E: How much time do we have?
A: A minute, thirty (seconds).
M: Oh geez
M: Oh fuck.
M: (sheepishly) That was all part of the plan!
A: One minute.
M: Any second now!
Amy: Thirty seconds
M: Oh, come on
M: Give, give, give, give, give, give, give!
GIVE GIVE GIVE!
M: Oh shit
M: You're done.
You're done, what?
E: I was trying to make a shock mount!
M: A shock- [huck hugh huegh hargh] T: [Laughs]
M: We built the crash pad T: We built the catcher
M: The catcher [Everyone laughs]
Alright, so you built your-
E: It doesn't even- The bottom fell off
M: Yeah, well- T: [Laughing]
E: Hold on, I got to put this back inside
Because it did just fall off right now
M: Okay that's fair
Present your crashers
A: It looks like something a bird made...
M: Isn't that good, though?
Birds make really...good...things!
T: Mine's whole, spongy, fluff
There's sponge, centered, tissue paper, and fluff
M: Alright that sounds good. T: And duct tape.
M: Mine- E: Mine-
E: [Laughs] I'm sorry, go ahead
M: Mine is free standing, the box provides support
There's a little bit of a wall, so if it falls in it won't bounce out
It's got a lot of fluff, it's mostly streamer
A little bit of pillow, and some tissues
And then I've wrapped a few of it inside with rubber bands
And the outside with duct tape.
E: I- [laughs]
A small cylindrical box, thing
With a rubber band on top, which is just going to make the egg bounce away
Didn't listen to the instructions
M: Alright, cool
Set those aside
E: Can I now make the cushion?
M: Sure, man
Once again we'll have 3 minutes
A: Four minutes this time...
M: 4 minutes, you think?
M: Okay, 4 minutes, we'll do 4 minutes
A little more time
I would- I'm already gonna veto
You can't just put it in this
'Cause that- that seems unfair, but you can use this material
as part of it.
T: Yeah, you have to cut it.
M: Yeah, you have to cut that.
Alright, who's ready? E & T I'm ready..
A: Ethan, what are you doing?
E:I don't know..
M: Now what you could do is fix that up in your time,
And then make your crasher. E :That's what I kinda wanted to do
M: Well, do that, do that. You can do that, you can finish your envelope,
and then create a crash bag.
A: Ethan has started.
E: I'm sorry- I'm- I- I'm...
I'm- I'm crushed
A: 1, go!
M: Okay! I gotta see what this is about.
E: *mumbling* so upset...
M: I can use that.
M: *dissapointed* naw I can't use that *mumbles* this doesn't make any sense at all...
E: *laughs* I don't. I can't.
M&E: *hearty chuckles*
*Ethan begins to panic*
*Ethan slowly devolves into confusional madness* M: Indecision will get you nowhere, friend!
E: *frantic* I don't know what to do...
M: I'm-a-lost! E: I'm-a-lost! M: You wimpy baby...
A: Half way!
T: Where's the scissors? M: Over there.
T: *cry-laugh* oh shit
M: Oh. Did you cut that open?! Really?!
E: I hate this game.
E: Oh, I could have done it a different way...
Part II: The Bloop-ening
T: Oh... shit.
M: Why'd you take the last pink? Now mine's not going to be colour-coordinated!
A: Times up! E: *Cries*
*Ethan begins to break down*
M: Jesus Christ, man!
M: Are you crying?
Alright, so I made, similar to my other one
I wanted to create a tube that uhm [...] would have some rigidity to it up right!
So that it could fall, and then hopefully (!!) it doesn't tumble out.
So, It's inside of a like sploosh ball, in here.
It's pretty well secured, we'll just see if it survives!
T: Mine's a foamy "T" with the big tube for the egg to fit in and with the lid guy to cover it up
And there's... stuffing... on that *inaudible* it's already attached to go inside to cover it up
so then it goes down this way cause there's more weight on this side *random voice crack thing*
And then if it kinda... bounces down it's kinda got cushioning all around so that it will just be like "ARGHBLOOBLEBLOOB"
*awkward silence* M: OK! E: Mine is a... failure...
*silence* M: YOU DIDN'T EVEN FINISH *chuckles* WHA..?
E: I don't wanna talk about it... *cry laughs*
M: eh heh... *chuckles* Well honestly maybe it'll work you never know.
E: next!! *everyone laughs*
M: *While laughing* all-- next!!
So what we're gonna do next
Uhh apparently, is we're gonna take these
Outside. We're gonna drop 'em
We'll have one camera up top one camera
down below; we'll drop our OWN things- we'll start with crash pads
we'll finish with these
*turns to point at Ethan* you'll have the same one
for both-- MULTIFUNCTIONAL!
I like it!!! *Tyler laughs* M: it's good!!!
E: *while laughing through tears* don't try to make me
feel better! *laughs* M: Okay... *Hehehehe*
T: uhmmm... should we insert the eggs in these
guys now? M: Yeah, you can. E: insert the egg
to where? M: Into your...
Wait he can't do that. He has to wait
*trying to insert eggs* Can't fit an egg in there... *laughs*
NOOOOOOOOO (same time) Amy: WUAHHHHH M: Uh oh :/.
Good luck with thaaat T: great!
M: have fuun!
and uh let's get outside!
E: *throws something* A: how you feelin? E: I don't
feel good. *laugh crying* I DON'T *gasps* I TRIED!
*gasps* I tried to make
a shock mount... My idea
was that... I was gonna put the egg in here
and it was sorta gonna rest in between
all of 'em, and then when it hit the ground
it would just sorta wobble in between.
but I didn't have enough time to make
a correct one so this
was made instead
...and I hate it. And now I only
have this! I don't have anything else!
Will you catch this and put this in the basket?
M: I got it. T: Wait, we're doing catchers first?
M: I got it uh oh
*Ethan laughs* E: God dammit
M: It's fine
M: Wait, you want me to move some rubber bands or something?
E: No no, keep it as it is
M: *While laughing* alright. E: *also slightly laughing* It's by design
M: Ok, do you have the eggs?
E: I have AN egg. M: You have AN egg
M: You get three tries at this
E: OH. Hold on, let me get more eggs. M: Get the whole egg thing
M: I just want him to win cause I don't want to see him cry
M: Cause he seems really bummed out about this
T: I really want him to hit the target I think even if it breaks if he hits the target M: If it hits the rubber bands
T: Yeah. M: Yeah
E: Ok, I have three eggs
M: Alright, good. Did you get the whole egg thing because we're also gonna need eggs up there
E: Three tries? M&T: Three tries
M: You got this, man. T: Should we move the basket closer?
M: Do you need it closer, man?
E: No, I can get it
M: We can do it closer
M: I got it
*Splat sound effect as Ethan kisses the egg*
M: Do you wanna like say something before it dies?
E: I- I'd love you
E: [starts laughing] I love you
M: *While laughing* I would love you [everyone starts laughing]
T: Save it with love
E: *Inaudible* do that right now
[All laugh] T: *While laughing* Do you even aim?!
[all still laughing]
E: AHHHHHHHHH M: Impaled on the fence
E: Line up the (sides?) M&T: Aim aim aim
T: Further out
M: No no, let him do it, he got it
E: *Nervously* 3
E: Lift off *Splat*
M: Very close!
M: I think you've got your eye in
E: I've got my eye on the prize
M&T: *Slight laughter*
E: Listen here little pig. M: *Laughing*
E: *Slightly laughing* You better get this for me...ok
M and T: Awwww. You hit it, you hit it
E: CATCH ME!!
[Uncontrollable laughter from all]
E: My turn is over. M: *while laughing* Tyler, get up there. T: Alright
M: Amy, I love you
Amy: * laughing* oh wait no! I'm trying to wave, that wasn't a no. M: Oh
M: I like that the corpse of the one is still on the corner there
T: Alright big boy
T: Egg boy. It even says "EB"
T: You're gonna live!
T: Believe and have faith in the free fall in the cushion below
M: It lived!
T: Egg boy number two,
you saw that guy do it
you got this!
Trust and have faith
T: That one broke
M: Oh, yeah, we got a crack. All right, that one's dead, but it's okay.
T: Big man...! It's up to you!!! ...Live!!
T: WOO! M: No, oh, that's a break.
T: WHAT?!!??!?! M: yeah .....yep....sorry.....
E: But you got one! Isn't one all you need? M: You got one!
M: No, well... now we just gotta see if- if I can get two, I win.
Voice off camera:Huh. M: Right?
M: Hi... Amy, I love you
M: That's a lot farther than I thought it'd be... Okay, I realized my flaw now; I made my target real small.
M: Uhh.... you're an inanimate object, but if you land in this I'll give you... a million dollars.
M: Oh.... did he make it?!
T: You have a live!
E: You did live!
M: Can you straighten my crash pad just a little bit?
T: You didn't fluff mine back!
M: You didn't ask me to. E: That good? M: That's good! *laughs*
T: Damn it!! *laughs*
M: You didn't- you didn't ask me to!!!
Is that.... two???
T: Nope. Broke. Wait... (M: ahhhh) no... wait... *gasp* it lived!
*GASP from mark*
E: Could you do all three though? That's the goal!
E: A L L T H R E E S U R V I V O R S
E: Do you need a correction?
M: Uhhhh just slightly... to your left just...
M: Terribly slightly.
E: That good?
M: *smooch* Yes, it is.
M: *whispers* Come on....
T: No he broke. M: AHGHHHH damn it!!!
E: But you're still- what???
M: STILL TWO!!! YAY!!! *laughter*
M: Yeah, that was quite a bounce on that one, unfortunately
T: You actually hit the edge of the cardboard with all of 'em...
M: Oh, oops!
T: Yeah, none of them actually went in your tissue paper. They just bounced and survived
M: That just shows the rigidity of my build, and how... capable I was!!!
E: Do you want to drop one more egg??? For fun???
T: Ethan lift me!!
A: Throw it up!
M: I can go... I can go lower... yeah!
M: Throw it, just throw it!
T: Alright... are you ready?
M: yeah. T: WHOOP
M: Heughghughh. Oh! *laughter*
T: WHOO M: Heuhehhueuhh E: ho ho heh he I like that...!
T: Wait, combine all three of ours to the power!
M: Oh... not both at once.
T: What... combine our pads?
*kerSPLAT* No, (T: that one broke.) that one-that one fell off- that one stuck to my thumb on the way down. *Tyler laughs*
*plop* Yeah, that one *SPLUNK* did it too. *Tyler and Ethan laugh*
M: They stuck to my thumb
M: On the way down, that was not my fault.
M: Okay... since I'm already up here, I'll do my other one.
M: I already know this is gonna survive.
T: Is it- are we put- letting it land in the crate or should it be the concrete? Because...
M: Concrete. E: Concrete? M: All right... Three.... two.... one....
M: AWWWWW T: AWHHWHh it brOKE *laughter* M: It FELL
T: It flipped over!
E: Ready? M: *laughing* oh thanks
M: Okay, oh boy, okay maybe my design
M: Not so flawless after all. E: do you want me to leave the body M: *laughs* leave the body
E: Well move over a little bit though, you don't want it landing on the body. M: You're right that just be cruel. E: It'd be disrespectful
M: Alright, here we go big guy we go big guy. Here we go big guy. Don't turn over!
E: it's safe. M: *Through laughter* Yayyyy
M: There's a little bit of blood in here but I think that's okay
All: Ohhh. E: That doesn't sound good
T: Oh he, he exploded
*All laugh*M: Oh no. E: Oh it's coming out the bottom
E: Oh no!
M: Alright well...one for three
E: Tyler do you want to go? T: I'll go, yeah. M: Yeah, Okay. E: Yuck. M: Look I did okay, these guys I know they rigged it
M: Tyler is such a blowhard. He started blowing as soon as it got down below his eye level
M: He pushed it down twist it side ways. It really undid me unfair but you know, I played by the rules
A: Where you going?
E: Do you think a fall from this height would kill me?
T: All right fluff boy. E: This is it. M: I just want to tell you...that you suck!
T: I believe in you. E: That's gonna get so gross
E: Oh no
M: Well, do you want the good news or the bad news? T: He broke
M: Yeah, he did what it kind of spooshed all out- no, it's at the bottom. There's no good news
M: You've got a lot of entry points, you could put it in a lot of different places. T: You're right
T:Mm-hmm...ahhh. E: Just put it in a hole
T: I'm doing that, I'm putting it in a hole. A: I think he's repackaging it, he's kinda like working on it
T: I'm putting the fluff back into its fluff balls. M: I think it's cheating. A: I think it's cheating. T: I'm done. M: All right
T: All right, I believe in you. All right
E: Promising M: Maybe? T: In that big fluff ball there M: where E: there's no trace of the body
M:We're good. T: WOO
M: Well, your your contraption ain't doing so good. It's kind of falling apart. Hang on, I'll toss up this piece
T: Okay yet you should have shuffled the fluff into a rubberband
T: Look got it...kind of. M: I say you only get 20 seconds to reload
M: Otherwise that does seem a little cheaty T: One more you could do it I could see you...I can see him
M: Okay, that's not a good thing if you can see it that's probably not. You should probably hide it
M: ohhh [all laugh] E: *While laughing* Did that come out of the top? M: *also laughing* yeahhhh
E: And you see him one last time
M: There he is
T: We tied M: On that one E: my turn...this is where I will redeem myself
M: All right...listen. Tyler is a cheating cuck but you know, I got to give it to him. He did get that one
M: The other ones though were really terrible. Mine was only a victim of Tyler's sabotage. I didn't sabotage him at all
M: He is just a huge douche sometimes and I just will hope he knows that before he's dead
M: which could be soon...
M: Hi Tyler T: Hi! M: Hey, how you doing? T: I'm good M: feel like you're alive?
T: I feel like my baby's dead (M: Alright, cool) a lot of them. M: Great. T: I saved one. You know, I'm 33 and a third percent...success rate
M: That's not good, man
M: It's very poor. All right man, maybe you should put it inside the thing. E: No, you don't know how it works. M: I don't
E: Understand the science behind it. M: I don't you know, I'm sorry man
E: *quietly* This ones for all the marbles
T: I feel like its just gonna-
*splat* M&T: Yeah [all laugh] M: That's what I was worried about
[All uncontrollably laugh]
M: You know what's good is, uh, the corpses of the failed ones will add to the cushioning
T: *Laughs* M: so on the third one, it should really- or don't try to catch it
Are you so ashamed of it you just don't want to touch it?
E: *laughing* Let's try again
E: This one's the one okay? M: Okay. Is it inside it this time? E: Yeah M: Alright, good
T: *laughing* It's just in the bottom
M: No, this will be good. I trust this
M: It did the same thing man. T: *laughs*
E: Is he dead?
M: Yeah man. He's real dead
E: Just toss me everything
*Mark laughs* M: man, I'm sorry..here you go
M: Last try man. Last try, best try
M: He's got this
M: Right Tyler? T: I b- I believe he does if history has shown us
T: Blind squirrel gets a nut
M: What?! T: I don't know
(Ethan quietly murmuring) You will never forget this day...You will never forget this day
You will never forget this day...
*Manic laughing from Ethan and dramatic music*
*Mainly Mark laughing and the sound of the egg repeatedly dropping
M: All right, okay
M: *While laughing* Oh no your face
M: All right, let's see if there's one- T: THE BLOOD YOUR CHILD IS ON MY FACE!!!
M: We've got a live one! E: YES
M: Using the *stutters* horrifying other eggs as cushioning
E: I KNEW it would work
E: That's one for me, that's one for me! M: All right, but your ratio really goes down because you got a lot more broken now
E: No no no
M: I mean, I'll give you this one but- (E: *quietly* good)
What it this- what is this like, five other eggs? E: It was the rest of the eggs
M: So you lost two more this time...five...seven. You've lost ten eggs to one good one
M: Tyler ain't doing so good. E: But that egg is, (M: You right) and that's what counts. E: All right
E: Put him on the table. M: Good jo- good job, man
M: Real proud of you
*Tyler in distance* Can you get me paper towel?
M: We don't have paper towel E: AHH AHH
E: *While laughing* Nevermind
M&E: *laughing* E: That was an honest...scream of horror- T: YOU SCARED ME!
M: All right, well this has been another successful markiplier makes as the standings go
M: I won the first round for the crash pad
M: Uh...Tyler and I tied for the last one if you go by Ethan's weird rules, we all tied on the last one
M: but I don't think that's true
E: *quietly* It's true
T: How long is this apple juice been here?
M: Anyway, yeah
M: so if you got other ideas for Markiplier Makes
M: put 'em in the comments below, if you want to see other Markiplier Makes that we've done
M: Check out the description. Also check out the description for this guy, Tyler here
M: He streams at apocalypto_12 and that's Crankgameplays THE Crankgameplays you can find him on Youtube and sometimes Twitch
M: And uh, my name has been Markiplier. Thanks so much. And as always, we'll see you next one. Buh bye. T: I'm on twitch