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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Artists Draw Witcher Monsters (That They've Never Seen)

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- Welcome to Drawfee, where we take dumb ideas--

- --and make even dumber drawings.

- I'm Nathan.

- I'm Tristan.

- I'm Jacob.

- I'm Julia.

- Tristan, welcome back.

I feel like it's been a while.

- It has been a dog's age.

- One dog's age.

- It's been 15 years, five years, four dogs that are--

- Four dogs.

- Four dogs, yes.

- It's been four dogs since we had you on.

We're excited to have you back, because we got a suggestion--

that we felt we needed your expertise.

- Sure.

Of course.

And so you came to me.

- Came crawling back.

- Came crawling back.

- We did.

We did that.

- Well, well, well.

- Canaan Stieber suggested "please draw Witcher monsters

you've never seen or heard.

Please?"

- "Please?"

- OK.

- And that's all of them.

That's all of them, for me.

- That's good, because I'm pulling mostly

from The Witcher 3.

- OK.

Is that the most recent Witcher?

- That's the most recent Witcher, some of the DLC stuff.

- It's the only one I've played.

- Don't you have to fight a griffin?

It's, like, the first thing you have to do.

- There's not going to be--

- Yeah, like, one of the first things.

- There's not going to be a griffin.

- OK.

- No griffin

- No griffs.

- No griffs.

- I could probably guess what a griffin looked like, just

based on my knowledge of griffins.

- It's kind of a normal-looking guy with glasses,

does podcasts.

- Oo, good.

- Oo.

- Boy, we got the goofs today on this episode.

- Oh, boy.

But you will have to guess what several other monsters look

like--

- Mm-hmm.

- --that-- usually we go pretty obscure for these, but these,

I wanted to do some of the stuff that I fondly remembered from

the game.

- Oh that's nice.

- So these will be--

these will have, like, quests and stories

that I found memorable.

- Oh, that's great.

- A real gamers delight on this episode.

- Yes.

- Well, Tristan, I'm ready to draw a monster.

What do you got for me?

- OK, Nathan, your monster, Allgod.

[LAUGHTER]

- Wow.

- The Allgod.

- Uh-huh.

- The Allgod.

- You can also say it, (SINGING) Allgod.

- It that how they say it in the game?

- (SINGING) No.

- Allgods go to Heaven, I remember that movie.

- This is from an early quest line, one of my--

- An early quest line?

You fight the Allgod?

- Well, hold up.

- You fight a Allgod.

- Yes.

Yes.

These peasants, who seem to be sacrificing foodstuffs

to an angry unseen god.

It seems like a statue is yelling

at them saying, hey, I'm going to bring down avalanches

and floods and whatnot if you don't just, like,

bring me better food.

And they're like, hey, there's a war

going on, we can't give you food, God.

And he's like, too bad, more!

- Too bad, I'm God.

- Too bad.

So you use your witcher senses to figure out what's going on.

You find a little hidey hole underneath the statue,

where are the quote unquote "Allgod" is-- wow,

you're just drawing All Might, huh?

[LAUGHTER]

- I needed to start drawing some-- you know, I'm getting--

the body is going to be different, but I needed a face.

- OK.

- If it's got "All" in the name--

- Mm-hmm.

- You know?

I just-- it's a good face.

- Yeah, I feel like--

- I do, I remember this quest line, actually.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- It's a good one.

- It is a good one.

I don't remember what it looks like, but yeah.

- You get under there--

- It looks like this.

- It looks like this, I'm sure.

- Is it a rude ape?

- You get under there-- well, not in so many words.

- OK

- You get under there and you find out that it's not--

- It's just rude.

- --technically an Allgod.

It's a creature called a sylvan, which goes by other names

like--

let's see here-- willower, deovel, devil, puck,

and yaksha.

- But it was me, deovel.

- Ha.

Ha.

Julia did a jo-jo.

- Julia, way to go.

- Thanks.

- OK, so it's like a--

- That's that the one thing I know.

- --it's like a goat demon.

That's what a puck is, right?

- You know, if you want to pull that from that,

then let's go with it.

- OK, so we're going to get, it's all goat.

- He looks like Satan now.

- Well, he said "deovel", sounds like "devil".

- That sounds pretty--

- That's true.

- Talking about puck.

- Sounds pretty devilish.

- So sylvan's-- this is from the wiki-- lazy by nature,

they would gladly spend every day in idleness,

puffing on pipes, gorging on rich foods,

and downing strong drinks.

- That's a hobbit.

- Extreme same.

- Damn.

[LAUGHTER]

- Not just the same, but an extreme same.

- Brutal takedown.

- I think Julia is right.

It does sound like a hobbit, just--

- It does.

Just wants to, like, chill and--

- Just wanna chill, smoke that good hobbit weed.

- --and enjoy the good stuff.

- And eat seven breakfasts in a row.

- I'm imagining Danny de Vito's character from Hercules now.

- Yes.

- Yeah.

Philoctetes.

- Yeah, Phil.

- So it's that, but with All Might's face.

- I am here, feed me.

- I'm here, mildly a little bit high.

- So yeah, so he likes to smoke a pipe and also drink.

- Yep.

- Strong drink.

- Strong-- so it's--

- It has to eat the food.

- Yeah.

- Eat a lot of food.

- So it's the theme song to Workaholics.

Just all the imagery in that--

- As a creature.

- I'll take your word for it.

- As a-- wow.

- Nathan, I've seen Workaholics.

- Oh so, you're fresh.

- I've seen the theme song.

- Fresh?

- That's what they say in the theme song to worka--

it's a funny show.

- All right.

- It's a funny show, they've got Adam Devine.

He's the most successful workaholic,

but they're all pretty funny.

- We've done so many references so far

and we're only in the beginnings of the first drawing.

- Yeah.

- You hold out it here, right?

- We've got All Might, Disney's Hercules--

- Workaholics--

- Workaholics.

- The devil.

- The devil.

- Hobbits and whatnot.

- Hobbits, yeah.

We're just covering all our bases.

- I appreciate that.

- All for--

- Very wise.

- --a videogame, The Witcher.

- We're going to have so many tags.

- So what Nathan's drawing, you've said, is not at Allgod.

- Well, no, Allgod was like a fake deity

he made up by this sylvan under the ground.

You go there and he's like, oh, hey, what's up?

And Geralt's just like hey, dude, what the hell?

Are you just, like, getting free food from these people?

He's like, yeah, you know, it's my thing.

I'm fooling these, like, ding-dong mortals here

or whatnot. .

And so you have a couple--

because it's the witcher, you have a couple options.

You could just murder him right there.

Or you can just say, hey, just take less food.

- Just quit it.

- You know?

Just, I mean, just make you a bargain, OK.

You can stay down here and I won't expose you for a fiend,

but just don't take as much food, because people need it.

- He's like, whatever, man.

- Or you can just murder him.

- Sure, dude.

- You can either do a murder--

you can't just expose him?

You can't just do like a brutal takedown post of him?

- Yeah, you can't cancel him?

[LAUGHTER]

- You can cancel with your sword, I guess.

I don't know if it matters to you the type of monster

this is, it's a relict.

- I don't know what a relict.

- It's got special oils you need to use on it.

For every monster, you got to use a special kind of oil

or moon dust or--

- Sure.

- I'm not making it up.

Moon dust is a thing you have to use.

- I don't think you are.

- You're bringing me back to one of the abandoned villages

where you fight the woman in the well or whatever.

She's like a ghost.

She comes up and you've got to fight her.

And you've got to use a lot of moon dust, I think--

- Yeah.

- --is what I'm remembering.

I hated that fight.

- Women in wells hate moon dust.

- She's a ghost or a goat, because--

- She's a ghost.

- --it seems like the monsters in this game are goats.

- Yeah.

- A lot of goats.

- Just based on what I'm drawing.

- Yeah, it does seem that way, doesn't it?

- The Witcher 3 released to a special edition, the Goat

Edition.

- Where all the monsters are now goats.

- It was the greatest of all time edition.

- Yeah, it was the greatest of all time of the year.

- Of the year edition.

- Greatest of all time of the year.

- And you said he just has all the food that he

has been taking?

- Yeah, he's been fooling the townsfolk.

And I just imagine all the people he's fooling

are just busy like that peasant from Warcraft 2.

- (DERPY VOICE) Hello.

Ready to serve.

- So we're just going to have--

- (DERPY VOICE) All right.

- --just some--

- (DERPY VOICE) All right.

- --just some sacks of food over here.

- It is nice for them to put it in bags and not just throw it.

- Yeah, it's nice to me, the artist,

to not have to remember what food looks like right, stat,

now.

- It's also nice to me for me to not

have to render a bunch of food after this.

- It's nice for everyone.

- It's nice for everyone.

- Except maybe the viewer, who might like to see a big,

just like, detailed spread.

- (POMPOUSLY) Excuse me, peasants,

next time I want grapes.

Lots of grapes--

- I want a ham hock.

- --different colors.

- (POMPOUSLY) A stew.

- Grapes and a stew?

Yes, and cake.

- Give me one of them Ghibli-esque spreads, please.

- A noodle, noodles.

- Noodles.

- Noodles, lots of noodles.

I want sushi, just a whole buffet of sushi.

- (DERPY VOICE) What's sushi?

- (DERPY VOICE) Want sushi?

All right.

[LAUGHTER]

- OK.

- You've got a little scene here.

I love it.

- So this is Allgod.

- You did it.

- He's the Allgod.

I'm going to look him up.

- Yeah, let's do it.

- Yeah, I want to know.

- Oh.

- He's just a big old boy.

- He looks like--

- He's a little bigger--

- Looks like a Guillermo del Toro creation.

- He kind of looks like Mike Myers as Fat Bastard.

- Oh, he does.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

- He's telling all the food to get in his belly.

Very good.

- Wonderful.

- I thought you would look more like trickster-y and less just

like a big gross slob.

- I think he's a fatter sylvan.

- Yeah, I mean, he basically is just

a dude who lives in a basement and demands food.

- And demands food, yeah.

He's the equivalent of the person screaming for their mom

to make some more hot pockets.

- Again, extreme same, buys a lot.

- I think I got pretty close.

I think this is--

- I think you did pretty well.

- This is one of the better jobs I've

done on this type of episode.

So I'm going to gracefully--

- Go out on top.

- --relinquish my seat out.

[INAUDIBLE]

- Tristan, I'm ready to go.

- OK.

- Let me get that good stuff.

- Jacob.

- Yes.

- Your witcher creature, spoon wight.

- Spoon white.

- Spoon white.

- Spoon wight.

- And that is W-I-G-H-T.

- Yeah, sure.

The wight's like a zombie.

- So it's one of them spoons what

got killed and then resurrected by the Night King?

- Yeah.

- It's one of them Beauty and the Beast utensils.

- Yeah, but a zombus.

- Yeah, I'm just going to start with a spoon shape,

and we'll kind of go as I listen to you spin--

- Hear my spiel.

- --a yarn for me.

- So I kind of editorialized with a name a little bit.

It's not really a spoon wight.

It's technically a spotted white.

- Unbelievable.

- But the spoons play a heavy part

into this quest, which is from the DLC, I think.

- So if you googled spoon wight, you'd get this creature.

- Spoon wight witcher, probably.

- OK.

- Yeah, I think you would probably get this creature--

- But it's spotted?

- It's a spotted wight, which were thought to be extinct,

but they are not.

OK, left alone-- this is from the wiki--

they present no serious danger to anyone

and are far more interested in mixing

noxious brews in cauldrons.

[LAUGHTER]

- Just let them chill their cauldron.

They're mixologists.

- You know, what better way for a spoon

to spend their time than to mix--

- Mix some brews.

- --mix foul concoctions.

Wights spend the winter months in a state of lethargy,

very similar to human sleep.

They live strictly solitary lives,

so they're just chilling by themselves.

They transform into dangerous foes

if they are threatened and can even

abandon their solitary ways.

- Wow.

- Why would I threaten this guy?

- So don't threaten him.

Hey, just don't--

- I'll get his cauldron in here.

- --threaten them then.

- Yeah, just don't threaten this guy.

What's your deal?

- Just let them do their noxious brews.

- He's going to make some noxious brews.

He's going to sleep all winter.

- Let them make their gross drinks.

- They love gross juice.

- They do the thing where they go to the soda vending machine

and they take all the flavors--

- Yeah, and mix them all together.

- They mix them all together and you're like, bwah?

- What a noxious brew?

- In The Witcher story, you come upon this house.

And you find out, basically, that the spoon white

used to be a woman, Marlene de Trastamara.

And Marlene, basically, she got Beauty and the Beast-ed.

So a beggar came to the door, she was like, get out of here,

so she got cursed by what was probably someone named Gaunter

O'Dimm, don't worry about it.

People who play The Witcher know what the deal is.

- She was just a regular lady when she got cursed?

- Yeah, she was just a regular lady.

- OK.

- The beggar then cursed her stating

"none shall sit and dine with you at your table,

no spoon shall sate you, never again shall you

wish to spy your reflection in the mirror."

- Because you'll be a big--

- Because you'll be a big spoon.

Because--

- You'll be a big spoon in a wig.

- A big spoon with--

can I just say, Jacob, the hair and the bubbles you've drawn

are both just real pleasant looking.

- It's actually the same sprite, like in Super Mario Brothers--

- It's just repurposed.

- --colored differently.

- For budgetary reasons.

[LAUGHTER]

- So basically, you can, you know, obviously--

pretty much in any Witcher quest,

you can choose to kill the monster

or you can choose to figure out a way to cure the monster.

I--

- She's not a monster.

- She's just a friendly spoon.

- This is out of control.

I want you to know--

- This is some Brave Little Toaster thing here.

- No, yeah, this isn't The Witcher, this is Pajama Sam.

I played this game.

I remember this character.

- Yeah.

- It's a spoon wight.

What are you talking about?

[LAUGHTER]

- (HIGH-PITCHED) My name is Spoon Wight.

- It's not a spoon wife, it's a spoon wight.

- This is my spoon wife, Spoon Wight.

Oh, man, my spoon waifu.

- It's my favorite Decemberists album.

[LAUGHTER]

- So basically, you can sit down at a meal,

eat a meal with the wight, because the house that you

go into, the shack, where the wight

lives is covered in spoons.

The wight itself is covered in spoons, all over the place,

because--

- Because she's one big spoon.

- --they're obsessed with spoons, because you can't eat.

She doesn't have her hunger satisfied,

so she's always luring people into the cottage,

trying to get them to eat with her, so she breaks the curse.

But it never works.

No spoon is sating her, even though she's

collecting so many spoons and spoons and spoons.

It's really messed up--

I'm looking at it right now--

that she's using a spoon.

- Yeah, I don't like it.

It's like holding a tiny human to mix your shit.

I don't know.

- Yeah, a tiny faceless human.

- Yeah.

- It's still the best tool for the job.

- OK.

All right.

No, a tool's a tool.

- So if you eat with her, you break the curse?

- Yes.

Specifically, you eat with her, you

tell her not to use a spoon.

You just eat soup just, like, pour it into your mouth.

- You do a big slurp?

You do a big anime slurp?

- And then the mirror thing, she sees her reflection

in the soup.

Basically, she sees herself, and then she's cured.

And then you can have her go live

on your vineyard as a human.

- Oh.

- That's fun.

- So Geralt's like, stop using a spoon to eat the soup.

You are a spoon.

Just dip your head into it.

- Just dip your own big spoon-shaped head into it.

- Dip you own head into this gross soup you made.

- And then when you break the curse, is it a--

because Witcher is one of the games where you

can do sex on people, right?

- Right.

- Is she one of those?

- She's like a real old lady, who's like--

- Uh-huh.

And?

- Don't be ageist.

- I'm not, but she's not completely--

she doesn't have control of all of her faculties,

I don't think--

- Oh, that's too bad.

- --after having years of trauma of being a spoon wife.

- She's in a cave.

- So she just goes and lives on your vineyard.

You have a vineyard.

- I mean, I did specifically note cottage, but I mean,

that's fine.

We can do cave.

- It's a cave cottage.

- I want you to draw one million spoons for Julia to color.

How about that?

- No.

- No, Jacob renders his own.

- I do.

It would be my own.

- I would be freed.

- Julia does mine and hers and sometimes others.

- Sometimes mine, if I can find it.

- Sometimes Jacob's if--

- If he's running out of time.

- --if he needs.

- Yeah, she's got a whole thing set up over here.

She's expecting guests.

- Yeah, that she's captured herself,

is forcing to eat with her.

- So she knows for a fact that guests are coming.

- She seems like a real chill hang, just based

on this drawing you've done.

- Maybe she captures you, but then at the end of it,

you're like, you know what, at first

I wasn't so keen on getting captured by the spoon wight,

but ended up being a pretty fun night.

I feel like I made a new friend tonight.

- Wow, I can't wait to see how close you

got to the actual character in The Witcher 3, the video game.

[LAUGHTER]

- This would be the scariest enemy

to encounter in The Witcher, if this is what it looked like.

- You'd be like, what is happening?

- Is my game bugged?

- Am I losing my mind?

- Did someone mod my game?

- Yeah, did I buy a bad copy?

What is this?

- All right, let's look this up.

- (SINGING) Spoon wight.

- We'll look up--

- Spoon wight, Witcher 3.

Oh, no, it's very dark.

Oh, no.

- Oh.

- Oh, god.

- Oh, she's just got the spoons all up on her--

- Yeah.

- --all up on her business.

- Oh, she's wearing like a whole thing of--

- She's wearing just a mess of spoons.

- A mess of spoons.

Oh, this is sad.

- It is very sad.

You want to help this person.

This is a sad bummer.

- But you can just murder, right?

- You can, you can.

- OK.

- Nathan's like, well, I know what I would do.

[LAUGHTER]

- I would save--

- You've got to go.

- I would save the game, see what happened, then feel bad,

and then do it the right way.

- I already feel bad.

I'd love it much more if you went in

and it was the one I drew.

- Yeah, she's just like--

- Oh, hey there, friend.

- Come on down, I made some soup, I made some noxious soup.

- I'm mixing up a noxious brew.

You're welcome to have some.

Yeah, I'm a spoon, but that's life sometimes.

- Sometimes you are spoon, sometimes you ain't.

- Spooner or later.

[LAUGHTER]

- Oh, boy.

- She makes a lot of spoon puns.

- Yeah.

- Maybe afterwards, we could hit the sack

and do a little spooning.

- Yeah, that's the only thing I like to do.

- All right, I'm done.

- Julia, do you want to--

- Yup.

Yes, I do.

- Julia, your Witcher monster, hym.

- From--

- That's it?

- From Powerpuff Girls?

- It's H-Y-M.

- Oh.

- Heym.

- Heym.

- Hym.

- OK.

- Heym.

- I don't remember this part of the game.

It's a specter.

- OK.

- Mm-hmm.

- It is a shadowy creature.

It's-- from the wiki-- it's particularly formidable,

in that it doesn't outright attack its target,

but instead feeds on the target's guilt,

tormenting them to the point the person goes completely mad

or they commit suicide.

- So it's like my mother-in-law, am I right?

I don't have a mother-in-law.

- You don't.

[LAUGHTER]

- How does that manifest in terms of gameplay?

Is it just like--

does it go into your save file and check all the shitty things

you've done in the game?

- In the Witcher games, you're curing other people, not

yourself.

- Mm-hmm.

- So in the game, the witcher is trying

to help this other dude who is afflicted--

- With being really guilty.

- --with being really guilty of a misdeed.

- And hym keeps showing up and being like,

I know what you did.

- Hey.

- Hey, remember that thing you did?

- It's pretty bad.

- I know about that.

That sucked.

- The hym is what keeps you awake at night,

just wakes you up, is like, hey, remember

that embarrassing thing that you did?

- You know that stupid thing you did?

Wow, you kind of acted like an asshole back there.

- Just a real passive aggressive guilt.

There's a JoJo stand what does that.

- Oh, yeah?

- It does a guilt.

- Oh the eyes are really--

- Whoa, where are they going.

- I can't decide if I want them close or far away.

- I like them close.

- Well, wherever you put them, you're

going to feel guilty about it.

Yeah.

- Oh, boy.

- Why'd you do this to me?

- Why'd you put eyes like this?

- Yeah is this your--

- Remember when you drew me?

- --hym, Julia, who's angry at you for drawing it this way?

- And it just brings up every drawing

you've ever made on Drawfee.

It's like, remember that time you said you drew an egg, but--

- But it wasn't.

- --it was too pointy to be an egg.

- It was more like a cone, really.

[LAUGHTER]

I remember.

- Did you ever learn what an egg was?

Did you?

Did you ever learn?

- You probably didn't even try.

- Did you ever look that up afterwards?

- I like this little mouth.

- I'm getting a real gollum, like, year three

vibe from this.

- Oh, yeah, it's still got some remnants of Smeagol left, but--

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- The eyes have already grown.

- Like mid-Animorph gollum.

[LAUGHTER]

- The limited edition Animorphs covers

of The Lord of the Rings books.

- I started this face shape.

- Oh. it's really funny.

- It's kind of cracking me up.

- It's a perfect shape.

- It's really smooth.

- I'm getting--

- It's very egg-like.

- I'm getting some Thomas the Tank Engine--

- A little bit.

- --from this.

Like, you could just fully cylinder it out.

- Hey, Thomas, remember when you let your friend get walled in,

get completely bricked in behind that wall?

Hey, you remember that?

- And Thomas is just like, nope.

- Nope.

- I don't.

I feel fine about it.

- I'm a train.

- Choo-choo.

- Toot-toot, motherfucker.

[LAUGHTER]

- Man.

This little man.

- I saw.

- I saw what you did.

- I saw what you did.

- The eyes here are just really staring right into my soul.

- Yeah, it's like working on me.

I'm feeling guilty.

- Just perfect little pools.

- Yeah.

- You want to cry about it?

Because I want to cry about thinking about what you did.

- I've never done anything like that.

Never would, personally.

- I just-- like, the only creature I could remember from

The Witcher was that kid that had the big watery eyes that

lives under a rock.

- Lives under a rock?

- Isn't it like Jimmy--

- Yeah.

- --or Johnny or something?

- That is his name.

It's not-- it's Jimmy or Johnny or something.

- Jimmy Neutron.

- So if something of cultural import

happens in the world of The Witcher, you can go to the kid

and be like, what, you didn't hear about it?

You've been living-- oh, you do-- oh, you do live--

- Oh, jeez.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- And then hym shows up and it's like, wow, I heard

what you just said to that kid.

- That was pretty insensitive.

- That was pretty insensitive of you.

- I'm not going to invite you over with my spoon wife later.

I was gonna.

- I was going to ask you to dinner,

but now I don't think I want to anymore, after what you did.

- What's going on?

- It's like an over-the-shoulder look.

- It's like, hey.

- Sort of a--

- He's, like, interrupted in the middle of something.

Yeah, you want to talk about this right now?

We should.

We should.

- No, we should.

- This is like Junji Ito.

- Yeah.

- This is the vibe I'm getting right now.

- Very much so.

- Almost like It Follows, but instead

of confronting you and destroying you,

he's just in the background of every social event

you are, just reminding you of terrible events.

- Just waiting for you to mess up.

- Of the egg you drew.

- Just a full embodiment of trying to fall asleep.

That's just when the guilt comes.

- TFW--

- TFW.

- --the guilt comes.

- So one way that Geralt can deal with the hym in the story,

you basically have to kind of like trick it, more or less.

And the way they do this is he entrusts the baby--

this person who is afflicted--

- Is a baby?

- The person is not a baby.

They have a baby.

- OK.

- Someone else takes the baby, puts it in an oven.

- Oh.

- And you're supposed to keep the guy back and make

the guy think that the baby's burning.

And in reality, someone else took the baby out

of the other side of the oven.

It's a two-sided oven, I guess.

- Oh, one of them one trick ovens.

- Yeah, trick oven.

- For baby pranks.

- Specifically made by the witch from Hansel and Gretel,

I guess.

- So what happens in this story is that Geralt let this all

happen, he becomes extremely guilty,

so the hym latches onto Geralt instead of the previous victim.

And then they do the reveal like, hey, actually,

the baby's fine.

And so Geralt is relieved.

He's not guilty anymore.

And the hym has nowhere to go.

- Did Geralt not know?

- Geralt didn't know the plan.

- Oh.

- So that's necessary.

- How did he come up with the plan?

- He didn't.

A lady did in this story.

- Does he come up with a plan that will

make me feel really guilty?

Was that like--

- No, she was just like, hey, I have a plan,

you gotta trust me.

Give me the baby.

- So you don't really do anything.

She does it.

- No, yeah.

Yeah.

- She was the witcher in this one.

- Yup, she is.

She witched.

- She witched and you were the witchee.

- Mm-hmm

[LAUGHTER]

- Sometimes you're the witcher, sometimes you're the witchee.

- And sometimes you're a spoon.

- And sometimes you're a spoon.

- Dang.

- Wow, really makes you think.

- I love how this Witcher monster, a human man.

[LAUGHTER]

- The big head--

I love this drawing.

Is he sitting on something or just kind of in a squat?

- He's popping a squat.

- He's squatting.

He's not sitting on anything.

- Again, he's kind of--

- He's a specter, so he's kind of just floating around

in this.

- I feel like, it's like the instant you say or do

something that you immediately feel guilty for like,

oh, I shouldn't have done that, you turn your head

and there he is in the corner.

- He's doing that--

- Just like, I heard that.

- --but also when you're about to do something he's like--

[LAUGHTER]

- Don't do it.

- You sure-- you sure you want to?

- Don't do it.

- You want to do that?

- But do do it, because I'm hungry.

- Because I feed on it.

- I'm glad, speaking of doo-doo, I'm really glad Jacob

isn't drawing this, because we'd just have a big steamer right

under his butt right now.

- Yeah, you would get one of these.

- It'd be either a fart or a big turd down there.

That's definitely true.

I feel guilty about that.

[LAUGHTER]

- About poop you didn't draw.

- It's the poop I know I would've drawn, you know?

[LAUGHTER]

And it's the intention is really [INAUDIBLE]

- It's the poop you can't see is what's important.

- I mean, what is guilt if not a poopy that you did--

- A life poopy.

- A life poopy, exactly.

- Yeah.

- You did a life poopy in your life pants.

- What's going on here?

- I'm just setting a scene, a Witcher-y scene.

- Oh, that's good.

- He's just floating around and--

- Julia's just giving herself more work to do.

- Yeah.

- Well, all this does nothing less than a diorama of story.

She didn't have to build in-world lighting

for the scene, but she did.

And it's nice.

- Anyway, this is my dude.

- Now it makes sense the shadows are going

that way, because the candles.

- This is not super unlike Gaunter O'Dimm.

- What's that?

- What's that?

- He's one of the focal points of The Witcher DLC.

And you actually see him in the very first moments

of The Witcher 3 game, like, sitting at the bar

and you don't know it's him until later,

if you replay the game.

He's basically kind of Satan-y.

He's kind of like making deals.

- Just kind of Satan-y.

- He's making dark bargains with people and stuff.

- Yeah.

- I want to look that up, too.

- I'm inviting my friend to this party.

He's pretty cool.

He's a little Satan-y.

- A little Satan-y.

- Just, you know--

- Not Gaunter.

Are you serious?

I blocked him on Facebook.

He made another page.

- Hi, guys.

I'm just sitting like this to practice my core, you know.

Really get in there, really get the work into my core.

You ever do workouts?

Let me talk to you about workouts.

- Oh, no, you don't.

I know you don't.

- I know you don't.

Let's talk about it.

Let's talk about a friend.

Let's talk about workout.

I'm going to talk about workouts for the rest of the night.

- You still have that membership, right,

that you pay for?

You just don't go?

That's fine.

- You definitely use it all the time, right?

Oh, you don't?

That's too bad, isn't it?

- Think about what that money could go to.

- You want to look him up, Julia?

- Yeah.

- But first she has to do something with this eye.

- First I just wanted to try--

- What?

- --making these.

- Oh, no.

- There's not enough room.

- That's not a skull.

- There's not enough space.

- That's not a skull anymore.

- That's not a skull anymore.

- That's pretty good, though.

- I do like it.

- I like that.

I like them both.

- I like them just large enough to be unsettling.

I like an Alita Battle Angel is what I like.

- Yeah, this is slightly Alita Battle Angel.

Oh,

- It's shadow puppet.

- It's just a shadow.

- He looks like the silhouette of Maleficent.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- I see that.

It's a shadow monster.

I just--

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- No, I like it.

- I prefer the direction you went with it.

- Thank you.

- Yeah, this makes me feel that way more guilty.

- Look up the other guy.

- Gaunter O'Dimm.

He's just a man.

- He's just--

- He's just a man.

- He's a bad man.

- He's got a good name.

- He looks like Stabler from Law & Order SVU.

- Chris Meloni?

- Yeah.

[LAUGHTER]

- You drew Chris Meloni who peeks

into every part of your life whenever you do something bad.

- Yeah.

[LAUGHTER]

- That character probably feels guilt.

- Yeah.

- Probably.

- Well, great, we're all gamers now.

- We're all gamers now.

- Well, thank you for joining us on this special episode

of Special Witcher's Unit.

[LAUGHTER]

- All the monsters you gave us are just sort of people-looking

ones.

- The shadow monster is not people.

- Oh, sorry, Julia just drew up a person.

- I just drew a person.

- Yeah.

Mine's a spoon.

- Jacob drew a spoon.

- Let's not forget--

- You drew a fat goat.

- I did.

- Yeah, you drew a fat goat with All Might's face.

- All Might's face, also.

- I think we did some good drawings on the show.

- I think so.

- We did good.

- I think we really did The Witcher justice.

We're sorry.

- We're sorry.

- Sorry.

- I apologize.

The Description of Artists Draw Witcher Monsters (That They've Never Seen)