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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Chappelle's Show - "Making the Band" - Uncensored

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- CONGRATULATIONS.

Y'ALL MADE IT INSIDE THE HOUSE.

YOU DID GOOD.

ALL RIGHT, THIS IS WHAT'S UP:

YOU CAN LIVE HERE. YOU CAN RECORD HERE.

YOU CAN BE BAD BOY ARTISTS HERE,

BUT IF YOU WANNA DO IT,

FIRST Y'ALL GOTTA WALK TO QUEENS AND GET ME A SUGAR COOKIE.

- A SUGAR COOKIE? MAN, THIS IS CRAZY.

- WE GOT IT. COME ON, MAN.

BAD BOY.

- A SUGAR COOKIE, MAN.

LOOK, THIS IS NOT WHAT I GOT IN THE MUSIC BUSINESS TO BE DOING,

TO BE A SUGAR COOKIE-GETTER.

YOU KNOW, I'M A RAPPER.

WHO ARE THE FIVE BEST RAPPERS OF ALL TIME?

THINK ABOUT IT.

DYLAN, DYLAN,

DYLAN, DYLAN, AND DYLAN

BECAUSE I SPIT HOT FIRE.

- THAT'S A GOOD-ASS SUGAR COOKIE.

YOU GUYS ARE OFFICIAL NOW. WELCOME TO BAD BOY.

IT'S BAD BOY, BABY.

CAN'T STOP. WON'T STOP.

UH-UH, UH-UH.

I'M SENDING Y'ALL TO THE STUDIO.

I WANT YOU TO TURN DADDY OUT A HIT,

BUT I NEED YOU TO BE A FAMILY UNIT

AND LOVE EACH OTHER, OR THIS WILL NEVER WORK.

- THAT'S RIGHT, MAN, THAT'S RIGHT.

- GO OUT THERE AND GET DADDY A HIT.

I'M GONNA TAKE A NAP.

- WHAT'D YOU DO?

[all shouting]

- LET 'EM FIGHT! LET 'EM FIGHT!

[all shouting]

- I'M SHUTTIN' THE STUDIO DOWN.

[record scratches]

[all scoff]

- THE ONLY WAY I COULD KEEP THE STUDIO OPEN

IS IF Y'ALL GO OUT

AND WALK THROUGH NORTHERN NEW JERSEY,

GET ME A SET OF LEFT-HANDED GOLF CLUBS.

I ALSO NEED YOU TO TAKE A PICTURE WITH A MIDGET

HOLDIN' THESE BALLOONS.

TAKE A PICTURE WITH A MIDGET

HOLDIN' THESE BALLOONS, HOLDIN' THESE BALLOONS.

YOU DID IT.

YOU WENT OUT, YOU FOUND MY MAN-- YOU FOUND A MIDGET, MAN--

AND YOU GOT THE PICTURES; YOU GOT THE GOLF CLUBS.

HERE'S THE KEYS TO THE STUDIO.

NOW, IF Y'ALL EXCUSE ME,

I'M GOING SCUBA DIVING WITH CHRIS TUCKER AND AQUAMAN.

YOU BE COOL.

GIDDYUP.

[people clamoring]

- WHAT'S HAPPENING?

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A FAMILY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

NOT LIKE THIS, MAN!

- Y'ALL NOT WORKIN' LIKE A TEAM.

I GOTTA SHUT THE STUDIO DOWN, YO.

[record scratches]

ALL RIGHT, THE ONLY WAY I'LL OPEN THE STUDIO UP NOW--

Y'ALL GOTTA WALK UPTOWN TO THE BRONX

AND GET BREAST MILK FROM A CAMBODIAN IMMIGRANT.

I ONLY DRINK THE FINEST BREAST MILKS.

GO OUT THERE AND MILK A CAMBODIAN.

IT'S 100% CAMBODIAN, YO.

IT'S THE REAL SHIT.

[bottles clinking]

BREAST MILK

YOU MADE MY DA-AY

NOT ONLY AM I GONNA OPEN THE STUDIO UP,

I'M SENDIN' YOU IN THERE WITH A LEGEND.

THAT'S RIGHT, WYCLEF, PLAYBOY.

- NO DISRESPECT, I WANTED TO WORK WITH WYCLEF

MORE THAN I WANTED TO WORK WITH PUFF.

- YO, DYLAN, YOU READY TO GET IT STARTED, BABY?

- ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.

[clears throat]

BUMBACLAAT, BUMBACLAAT

BUMBA BUMBA BUMBACLAAT

A RUMP UN TOMP, A RUMP UN TING

A RUMPA TUMPA TUMP, A RUMP UN STING

I RIP AND I RHYME, I RHYME AND I RIP

DIS IS THE WAY THAT DYLAN SPITS

YOU--YOU TRYIN' TO GET SOME OF THIS HOT FIRE?

- WE CAN EITHER MAKE THIS SONG OR NOT MAKE THIS SONG.

- YOU'RE TOO CLOSE, MAN! YOU'RE TOO CLOSE, MAN!

- HEY, Y'ALL GONNA CHOKE A LEGEND?

YOU DON'T THINK I WANT TO CHOKE PEOPLE?

YOU CAN'T JUST CHOKE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS.

THIS TAKES HARD WORK.

IF I HAD MY WAY, I'D NEVER WORK.

I'D JUST STAY HOME ALL DAY, WATCH SCARFACE 50 TIMES,

EAT A TURKEY SANDWICH,

AND HAVE SEX ALL FUCKIN' DAY.

THEN I'D DRESS UP LIKE A CLOWN AND SURPRISE KIDS AT SCHOOLS.

THEN I'D TAKE A DUMP IN THE BACK OF A MOVIE THEATER

AND JUST WAIT

TILL SOMEBODY SAT IN IT, HEAR IT SQUISH.

THAT'S FUNNY TO ME.

THEN I'D PAINT AND READ AND PLAY VIOLIN.

I'D CLIMB THE MOUNTAINS

AND SING THE SONGS THAT I LIKE TO SING.

BUT I DON'T GOT THAT KIND OF TIME.

PLAYBOY. PLAYBOY.

YOU JUST GONNA COMB YOUR HAIR, PLAYBOY?

SARA, YOU JUST GONNA TALK UP ALL YOUR ANYTIME MINUTES?

IS THIS ANYTIME? HUH?

BABS, YOU JUST GONNA SIT THERE AND CHOP ONIONS RIGHT NOW, HUH?

GOOD TIME TO CHOP ONIONS?

LOOK AT THIS NIGGA.

YOU JUST GONNA DO YOUR TAXES, NESS?

YOU JUST GONNA SIT THERE AND CRUNCH NUMBERS?

HUH, IS THAT HOT?

IS THAT WHAT'S GOIN' ON IN THE STREETS RIGHT NOW,

YOUR TAXES?

ALL RIGHT, LOOK.

I GOT SOME GOOD NEWS, AND I GOT SOME BAD NEWS, Y'ALL.

THE BAD NEWS IS THAT I'M SHUTTIN' DOWN THE STUDIO.

[record scratches]

THE GOOD NEWS

IS THAT I JUST SAVED A LOT OF MONEY ON MY CAR INSURANCE.

FONZWORTH, BRING ME A SANDWICH!

[Outkast's The Way You Move playing]

[upbeat hip-hop music]

HE CAN FLY, MAN.

HE CAN FLY. HE BELIEVES IN HIMSELF.

- ♪ I LIKE THE WAY YOU MOVE

- EH-EH, EH-EH, EH-EH.

- ♪ I LIKE THE WAY YOU MOVE

The Description of Chappelle's Show - "Making the Band" - Uncensored