Practice English Speaking&Listening with: How Do We Party?

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[Techno theme music]

- Welcome to ear biscuits, I'm Rhett.

- And I'm link.

This week at the round table of

dim lighting we're gonna ask the

question, how do we party?

- How do we party, man?

- And we're gonna answer that question for you.

- And specifically, what we mean by that,

because, it was--

- How do you party, bro?

- It wasn't intended to be a little bit,

you know, clickbaity because I mean, who are we

trying to kid here?

We wanted you to click.

Those of you that need that kind of motivation.

We're talking about, specifically is,

the way that we approach the Hollywood indus-,

industry.

- Industry.

- Industry party scene, which we have

become somewhat familiar with this year.

- We're starting, well, we're starting to become

familiar with it.

The one party that I think we're gonna spend

a lot of time on was...

It was...

- The GQ party.

- Late, that was late last year.

- Yeah.

- It was not this year, technically.

So yeah, there was that party,

there was a golden clothes, we just haven't

had an opportunity to like, fully process

with you, our experience of these parties.

And it is a whole world in and of itself.

Not just the party but the, I mean,

this whole aspect of the industry.

- Well--

- It's a part of it, so, you know,

the goal of this episode is just to...

Share with you our experience, warts and all.

I don't think there'll be that many warts.

Yes there are.

- I just want to have fun talking about it

because it's some of the more hilarious things

that have happened, in your presence,

have happened at these parties.

- I don't know.

- And uh--

- I don't know if I'm if I'm fully ready to--

- Well, I'm ready.

- The world. - You can watch me tell 'em.

- Know about it.

But I trust you, uh ear biscuiteer, with--

- But don't trust me.

- With--

- We trust that you will keep all of this

in confidence.

- With my experience, yeah because it's...

- We also, we did share that one story about

the party we were at where we couldn't get a drink--

- Yeah, at the bar. - At the bar.

And then, you know, that was on

a previous podcast.

I don't know which one it was.

- I think that guy's still thinking about

probably not making us a drink--

- And that is just kind of like a small

indication of what our subsequent experiences have been.

Now, I'm gonna start with what I think is a maxim,

a thesis of what--

- Okay.

- Of why--

- Course she could just say it's

a hypothesis but--

- No, no, it's not--

- I mean, you could go all the way.

- No, it's not hypothesis.

it is a maxim, from which, or a principle,

from which, all of the stuff, in all of

the reasons that we're gonna talk about

why we even do this.

- Yeah.

- Why it exists.

And that is because...

I'm gonna try to make it sound like a maximum.

That-- - A maximum.

- A maximum maxim, that which fuels Hollywood

is bull.

- Yeah.

- That is the maximum.

Okay? - Yeah.

- And what I mean by that is that, if you talk

about the Hollywood machine, now let's say

the Hollywood machine is a vehicle and you were

to look into the gas tank and you were like,

what fuels this Hollywood machine?

And I, and the premise is, you open up

the gas cam and it's full of bull.

Or I would say, it might be a vapid tank of emptiness.

- Well, no I think that's the destination.

That's--

- That is what your soul becomes.

- But that is the destination of the Hollywood

machine, is a vast tank of emptiness, but the fuel

is both, and here's what I'm saying,

is that, every single, you know, you want to believe.

You want to believe that all this is based on

art and talent and obviously those things exist.

You need to be good at what you're doing

to kind of get into, to some extent, to kind of

get into the game at all.

- And then you might add to that, okay yeah,

it's also who you know. - But--

- Because we're all humans and--

- But that's--

- You might be thinking that.

- That's part of bull.

- I think it goes further because that--

- I'm including that.

- Knowing people and like getting things done

with people that you know or that you know someone

who knows someone, and you feel like

there's a little bit more trust or there's...

Something, like I owe this person.

That's true of just life, in a lot of ways.

So I think that what you're getting at

goes even further than that, to this,

just, you want to start to think that like,

oh there's people in Hollywood and they're going

to parties and they're all having a great time

and just hanging out and...

The people who are at parties are popular.

So if you are seen at a party, then you

are seen as popular, as hot as as the cool crowd.

I mean, it's like, there's this, high school

cool crowd thing that happens and it's a whole game

built around...

Like the whole TMZ pictures being taken,

voyeuristic Entertainment Tonight type situation.

- Well, it's all about perception.

And the reality is superseded by the perception

and the perception determines the reality

in a lot of ways.

- Yes. - In this town.

Right?

Now, and let me say that, I'm not critiquing that.

This podcast is not about critiquing that.

Obviously it has been well critiqued

and I think that we navigate the space, knowing...

at least being somewhat familiar with the pitfalls

of like, thinking that this is where

ultimate purpose belongs, we don't...

That's not what we believe and so, we kind of

play this game, trying to figure out the rules

but knowing that the vast tank of emptiness

at the end of the rainbow is not something

that we're interested in.

But what we are interested in, is we're interested in

exercising our craft, right?

That's what we're trying to do.

And we want to do that on the most significant

level possible and, so that's kind of our purpose

in what we do and why we're playing this game.

We play the game because we want to continue

to create and we want to be able to create

in the most significant way.

And the best and most strategic way to do that,

for us, is to do it in the context of the system,

at least somewhat.

We obviously--

- 'Cause now we're doing a lot, that we're

very proud of and that we're very glad to continue

to be doing in this alternate reality

that came from the internet.

- Right.

- And, you know, so without sacrificing

any of that, you know, we still want to

make a movie.

We still want to make another scripted story,

a scripted series that is seen by more people

than Buddy System season two, to date, has been

seen by.

So-- - Right.

- We start to say, do we need to start putting,

you know, getting in the ring and playing

this game?

- Well, let me--

- We need to buy a ticket to the game and start

playing it.

- Well, let me just address--

- To get some opportunity.

- Address one criticism which I relate to and

appreciate, because there's a lot of people

who make digital content like us and independent

creators who make digital content, you know,

everything we do on YouTube, this podcast,

all the stuff that we do independently,

we can cancel ourselves.

We determine when the season starts and ends.

That's completely outside of the Hollywood machine

in a lot of ways, right?

So you might say, well why don't you just continue

to create in that sphere?

You guys could just make a movie.

You guys could go on Kickstarter and raise money

from Mythical Beasts and just make a movie.

Yes that is a path, and we're not saying

we'll never do that, but, in the current

situation that we find ourselves in, the most...

Yeah, you can put that on airplane mode,

because, you know, we might as well be on

an airplane, right now.

The way to get your work to be considered

by the people who kind of control

the cultural conversation is,

you know, it's very, very difficult, to say,

make a movie completely outside the system

and just sell it directly to people who already

know you and for that to be as significant,

and I don't know, maybe we'll learn,

X number of years down the road that,

we should just not even pursued this,

but for better or worse, what we are pursuing

right now, is trying to create things on a higher

level and do it with at least a portion of what

we're doing as part of our career, within the system.

- Mm-hmm.

- So...

- And, so you hire a PR firm to help you

navigate and give to you opportunities and get

you into stuff. - Right.

- So we're doing that.

And that's how you get into these parties

before you become like, a bigger star,

in their eyes. - Before--

- In the people who are throwing the parties eyes.

- Before the people throwing the parties want you

to be at the parties.

Which was not where we're at right now, right?

- Right.

- You have to find somebody who can get you

into the parties. - Right.

- It's, again, bull--

- And that's not--

- Right?

- Feel's a little dirty when it's like,

you know we're saying that involves money.

- But the funny--

- I mean I'm just--

- Well, yeah, when you get--

- Indirectly, but yeah.

- Yeah but, the interesting thing, just to

give you a small example of this.

So the structure of a lot of these parties

is that you show up at the event and there is

a red carpet.

You get your picture taken by a series

of photographers, you've seen these.

We share those photos and we try to do our

little stance, the handshake stance and stuff

like that but, one of the things I noticed

pretty early on, is that, we went to a few

of these parties last year and...

It's all the same photographers.

I mean, there's a relatively small pool

of people, right?

And so it's just like like you can hear them,

they're like, who are these guys?

And then we have to say, it's rhett and Link and--

- No last names.

- What are your last names?

Well, don't worry about our last names.

Could you stand on that side?

No, we stand like this.

We stand like rhett and Link.

Like there was a lot of orientation

for people to understand what we were

trying to do.

And then, little by little, you start hearing

people say, I actually heard a photographer

say, "oh it's those guys again."

And it's-- - Oh, it's working.

- Sadly--

- Somebody's bored of us already.

- Sadly, oh it's those guys again,

is what we're looking for, right?

So, the people who--

- I bet ya they're gonna shake hands

and then raise their, one of their legs.

- There they go, they're doing that

dumb pose again.

So-- - And why?

- That is part of it.

I'm just saying that that is part of the--

- It's one of the biggest parts of the game.

- System.

- Before you even get into the party,

you got to do this and, matter of fact,

you could just stop there.

Because it's such an important part of the party,

you could make an argument, and I think

many celebrities do, in their own mind.

They show up for the red carpet, and then

they just leave and don't even go to the party

because they got their picture taken,

proof that they were there, because the game,

or at least a big aspect of it, is--

Looking like you belong with the cool people.

It's like, oh, this is a cool thing,

and here's a picture of that person at it.

That's it.

I can prove I'm in the group.

I'm in the group.

- Yeah.

- I got my picture in the same place

that these other, like, Jeff Goldblum

got his picture.

- Right.

- And then you go into the party after that

and you're like, okay yeah, like 90% of this

is done.

It's like you, because you got your picture,

you got your credit.

- And so, the way that we approach these

parties though, and this is what we're gonna

get into, it's not the...

Obviously we do the red carpet thing.

We get the picture.

So somebody who writes something on the internet

will associate us with this particular event.

But of course, we approach it, you know,

yeah, okay, we may have a show that's very popular,

in certain circles, and we may have some stuff

to show and some stuff to be able to say,

"hey, we should be here."

I mean, we've created this and that.

But what we're kind of, the overarching thing

that we're thinking, when we're there,

is really the sort of, the perspective of like,

13 year old Rhett and Link, you know?

- [Link] Yeah.

- Buies Creek Elementary School.

It's like, there's a lot of famous people here,

who do you want to talk to?

(Rhett laughing) You know, really.

- Right.

- Or, how good is the food?

- Where? - Where is the food?

How much is it?

How big are the plates?

- Well, there's two things going.

There's learning the game which is, you know,

it's a challenge, that, in trying to figure out

how this game is played and, you know,

how do you get points, and how do you

advance your strategy and all those things,

that's interesting.

Observing it as an outsider, is very entertaining,

to us, I believe.

- Oh yeah.

- And hence why we're happy to talk about it.

- Right.

- But then there's also an aspect of it

that is, you know, then you're actually,

you're trying to get to know people.

There is another part of the game that is

getting to know people that are successful

at getting things done and making connections.

Because it is that, who you know, and who you met,

and when you met him, and how was their breath cuz,

do you like them?

Do you want to keep working with them?

- Or how is their breath huh?

- You know, that type of stuff, because they're

just humans, too.

So it's humans working with humans.

So you got to work that part of it.

But then the question in my mind,

and this will become painfully obvious once we

get into what happened is, man, is it worth it?

It turns out there's a lot of risk involved

in trying to play this game.

There's a risk of--

- I think there's risk when you play the game.

- All types of emotional, if not--

- Which is--

- Physical injury, emotional injury,

embarrassment.

Man, it really does feel, a lot of times,

like it's your first day in high school

walking around the cafeteria with your lunch tray

trying to figure out who do you sit with

or who do you sit next to and is there gonna be an

open seat at all or am I gonna trip and fall?

And boy the risk is real.

I'll just leave it at that for the moment, but um--

- Yeah and hopefully-- - A little unpacking.

- Entertaining to you.

But before we get into the stories, we do want to

let you know that you can grab...

A hat!

We got, you know, they're calling these

dad hats, it's what the youths are into

these days. - Mm-hmm.

- We've got a tan one.

We've got a black one with a mythical logo on it,

the Randler.

- It's nice.

- Link, the one that you have on has some,

like actual metal buttons on the side.

- This is nice workmanship.

- There's leather straps in the back.

- Yeah, so you can get that.

- Also, we are selling, at amazon.com/mythical,

we are selling the blu-ray, yes this is still

a thing, this is still a technology.

There are still blu-ray player--

- I'm going to call this a collector's item,

The Tour Mythicality: Live in Los Angeles.

- Yeah, so that was when we recorded the entire tour.

Obviously it's available, you know, on other

platforms like iTunes, but you can get

the physical thing, the physicality of

The Tour of Mythicality.

- Yeah.

- And there's a disc inside of that,

for those of you who don't understand

what blu-ray is.

It's a disc.

You take that round thing, you insert it,

not into your mouth, but into a blu-ray player.

And then it's a video that will play.

- It's just nice to have even if you never watch.

- There's like a menu, and you can click

on different options.

It's very advanced.

Basically defines, you know, our adolescent years.

Or at least--

- Amazon.com/mythical--

- Teenagers.

- And mythical.store, get it.

- Okay, so do you want to talk about the GQ party?

- Yeah, let's talk about them in chronological

order because I think, there's things that we

learned that, then the question with the Golden Globes

party is where any of those lessons then applied.

- I think somewhere.

- I think that's one of the main questions.

And plus I just want to get this whole GQ experience.

I just want to cleanse it from my system.

But, so put it on the internet, it's gonna hurt.

It might hurt a little bit, but at least it'll be

out of me and on to you.

(Link laughing)

- Okay so I can talk a little bit about the philosophy

of how we operate at these parties.

Okay, so.

- Well, Stevie was with us.

- So yeah, well, yeah, that's part of it.

So--

- That's the first, she was with us for that one, anyway.

- Stevie went with us to the GQ party, which, you know,

I think there's a different dynamic when

it's just two guys walking around the party

like we had at the Golden Globes HBO party

then when you've got, sort of three people,

two guys and a girl, cuz now you kind of seem like,

this is a group and at any time that you

just begin talking to each other, you just look like

people who are a group of people talking.

But two guys talking to each other--

- Yeah, they came together.

- Doesn't a constitute a group, really.

- [Link] Right.

- Especially when they both have on

tuxes and look, obviously your friends

in the way that we were kind of in the (mumbles).

- [Link] Yeah.

They're not talking to anyone except who

they came with.

But with three, there's a question.

- Right.

- That's good.

- And, you know, I'm gonna, before we expose,

Link, a little bit, I'm going to build him up

a little bit.

Because Link, between the two of us,

is the one who is more fearless and just beginning

to talk to somebody, right?

He's always been the one that would go up

to somebody, kind of initiate a conversation.

I'm very standoffish in like, self-conscious

and don't like to do that.

I don't ever talk to celebrities when I see 'em,

even if I'm a fan.

But Link is very comfortable with that.

It leads to some great opportunities and some

great mishaps as you will see.

- Well, it's, I mean, the whole point is

to talk to people, to get to know people

at a party.

- No. No, wait, no, it's great.

And so--

- But it is very difficult to talk to people.

I mean-- - Yeah.

- Again, it goes back to that whole like,

you're in high school and you're like,

you don't know anybody in the cafeteria.

And you're like, to make your way you got to start

meeting people and there is a pecking order.

- Yeah, well--

- It's like, no but, I mean, who's gonna come up

and talk to us?

- Right, well, and to--

- - There are exceptions.

- Kind of contrast it, and so obviously

it's one of those things that like, this is like

life advice, right?

So, when you are with somebody who has

a particular strength, just let them

do that thing, right?

Don't, I have absolutely, I don't care at all

that he's the one that ends...

Like if Link and I are helping someone move,

for instance, well you know what Links gonna do?

He's gonna be the one that is in the moving truck

organizing and tetrasing the stuff into

the moving truck.

- Yeah and you're gonna be eating whatever

food they provide. - Right.

Now, and I got a--

- I've got a bad back, you know.

- And so-- - Where your doughnuts?

- Not only is he good at that but he likes

to do that.

Let someone use their gifts.

So when we go to a party together I'm like, all right.

Like when I went to the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

premiere party with my wife, just the two of us.

- Yeah.

- She's a big fan of the show.

I am, sort of, a proximate fan of the show,

through her. - Mm-hm.

- And have watched it with her a few times.

And we really wanted to talk to some of the cast,

but she's just--

- You wanted to lock a queer eye.

- She's just-- - With your eye.

- She's just like me in that she doesn't,

she's just, she feels like, I don't want to

look stupid.

I don't wanna be embarrassed.

So we ended up talking, we only talked to

people, like she saw Nate Berkus, you know,

the designer, and she had a point of connection

and she had something and they've been to the same,

anyway she talked to him for a second and that was like,

cool and that worked.

But we didn't end up actually having a conversation

with any of the cast because at some point

they ended up just hanging out

with John Legend and Chrissy Teigen and--

- [Link] Right.

- Just in this group and it was like,

it was impenetrable.

I actually went up to the group, because

Lance Bass was on the outside of the group

and I told Jessie, I was like, I bet that

Lance Bass knows who I am.

I was going out on a limb, but I was like,

he's done a bunch of stuff with YouTubers.

- So you hovered around Lance Bass,

member of what, NSYNC?

- Is it NSYNC?

- And then waited for him to turn around--

- No, no.

- And maybe recognize--

- No, no, that's not what I did.

What I did is I was like, I'm gonna go up to

Lance Bass and initiate a conversation.

And then I will figure out...

I will know instantly if he knows who I am.

if he does, I'm on the exterior of the circle

and I might be able to do a flip or switcheroo

and suddenly be on the inside of the circle.

- Oh, like body slam down.

- Now, you've got to understand, this took a lot.

This took a lot for me.

I went up to Lance Bass and I said, "hey Lance.

I'm Rhett."

And he was like, cool. - Cool.

- Or something like that.

And continued to sort of bob his head to the music.

- He was waiting to get in on the other convo

and he didn't want you to block him from it.

- Yeah, and I think I said something else,

but it was, you know I had an out plan.

I don't remember what it was, but I took the out.

I pulled the ripcord real soon, real early.

Total fail.

So I've been there, too, bud.

- Yeah, and we talked about this.

So then I knew going into this party,

I'm like, all right, I'm gonna...

I'm the tip of the spear, you know?

I'm gonna stab around and then once I plunge

into some flesh then you guys are gonna run in

and say, oh I'm sorry, this is my spear.

Let me yank that out and let's have a conversation.

That was the stated plan.

I mean, we were all on the same page.

- The plan was that you would start

the conversation and that we would then come in

and continue the conversation.

But the, sort of, unforeseen thing that

didn't happen is, we didn't discuss any

of the parameters for how you would begin

a conversation.

- Right.

And why would you do that?

- And that's kind of the lessons that we ended

up learning.

- Well, like I said, there's a pecking order.

So you go in there and I mean, it's,

you know, it's, to initiate a conversation

with somebody that is known and famous,

you are immediately...

It is a position of weakness and of,

your lower.

Because your Emmy and it's kind of like,

well, are you a fan or are you another person

that I should think is cool?

There's some psychological stuff happening.

- And not just that but, the percentages,

the breakdown of like, recognizable, you know,

this sounds, again, I said from the beginning,

the premise is that, the fuel of the Hollywood

machine is bull, so we're going with that

for a second.

The percentage of people who are "famous",

you know, the celebrities, is a minority--

- Very low.

- Of people at this party.

The majority of people at the party are

industry people who have a connection to the brand

or the company, the people who are putting the party on.

And so, this isn't like, which we've never been

to a kind of party where like, you go to like,

a celebrity's home and every single person there

is a celebrity.

That's a different, that's like a private party.

We've never been invited to one of those.

- No, but--

- This is the kind of thing where,

if you're a celebrity, you know that there's

a bunch of regular folk who want to start

a conversation with you.

So all the celebrities have a little bit

of a defensive mechanism--

- [Link] Well, we-- - That they're operating with.

they're operating with.

- We got there and we looked around

and we didn't see any big-time celebrities.

And we knew they were gonna be at this party,

so we immediately are like asking like,

is there a hidden room?

Is there like a, we let you make a quick lap

or you're looking around and you're like,

is there like, a roped off section?

And we actually talked...

We knew the, you know, the people from GQ

who were throwing the party.

And then we were we were talking with them and--

- We asked them point blank.

- We actually asked them--

- So where's the special...

Where's the real famous room?

- That's like, oh there isn't one.

I'm saying, okay. - All right.

- And then I looked around and I saw Adam

from Adam Ruins Everything.

- [Rhett] Yes.

- Who we'd never met but we both worked with

the same producing partners before and,

so we--

- He came from the internet college humor,

So we just, we kind of go in with some confidence

thinking we probably are familiar with each other.

- Well, I felt like we were in similar places

on the pecking order, so anyone

could approach anyone.

He's walking by and I'm like, "hey Adam.

"I'm Link, good to meet you.

"Good to finally meet you," is what I said,

because it's like, I felt like we almost have

crossed paths a lot.

- That's good.

That was good.

- He was very user friendly.

He ended up talking to us for a while.

He was, you know, we were, he was familiar

with our work.

We were familiar with his work.

It was mutual adulation.

We were on the level, okay?

- Great start.

It was right when we walked in.

- We actually talked about how awkward

this place...

The exercise-- - Was.

Because he kind of explained to us--

- He's like, this isn't the first one.

- Yeah--

- With these type of parties that I've been to.

- I don't do this normally either, right?

- So we talked about that dynamic of pretending

to belong to then be seen as cool.

And lo and behold, as we're talking,

a photographer-- - Yeah.

- Approaches, and just starts taking photos

of us having a candid conversation.

They were candid photos.

- Candid photos.

- And then you started talking about how

Jay-z takes a candid photo.

- Jay-z likes to laugh while photos are taken of him.

- So, even though he's in a conversation

where it may not have been a punch line,

at the moment, he sees the cameraman he just

kind of like, throws his head back--

- Yeah.

- And opens his mouth-- - Look at pictures--

- As if he's in mid laugh.

- Look at candid pictures of Jay-z

on the internet and you will be surprised

at how many he is smiling and laughing in.

- All of 'em.

And I immediately realized as you were

telling me and we were talking about that

dynamic with Adam Runs Everything...

The genius of it.

Because, now there's photos of Jay-z

just having the time of his life,

with other people, who apparently are

cool at parties.

So we tried that a little bit.

There may be an image floating around--

- There might be some laughing.

- Of that.

And just as a side note, Adam does

have a natural instinct to ruin everything.

Like, as we were talking about things,

like he was like almost literally biting

his lip trying to not overanalyze, I think in

an adorable way.

I really like the guy.

He wasn't annoying to me.

It was actually fascinating that like,

we were analyzing this party situation

and he was like breaking it down.

Like that's literally how his brain works.

- Oh of course.

Yeah, he was doing, actually like well-informed

version of what we're trying to do right now.

He was pointing out all the, you know,

the dynamics of the situation and seeing

right through it.

- But we knew if we kept talking to him

that we wouldn't accomplish much 'cause,

I mean, we we both felt like we're on the same level

and we needed to make a few laps and we're like,

if this falls apart, if we don't generate

any other leads, let's meet back here

and have a good time.

I think I said that at one point.

- So, I think I want to cover the,

sort of the first misfire, okay?

- Well, who is that?

- That's the, you know, that guy.

- Oh okay.

- I'm doing it in order.

I'm doing it order as I remember it.

- Well I did see Joe Keery before that.

The guy from Stranger Things. - Okay.

- He was on our show. - Yeah.

- And I went up and talked to him and he

remembered me because he was on the show.

And then his girlfriend was with him and

she is from...

I was like, I was talking to them for a while

and I didn't know who she was and I was like--

- It Follows.

- And I was like, and what you do?

She's like, I'm an actress.

I'm like, anything I would know?

And they were like, It Follows.

And I'm like, haven't seen that.

- Yeah, that's, so--

- So then that got, the conversation got

a little bit--

- I didn't know that you asked that question.

But you typically, as someone who never

watches anything, you shouldn't say

anything I would know because that's

a really small pool of things.

- Well, that's her fault.

- Yeah, so you should be like, oh cool.

What are you working on now, right?

Remember, I said...

(Rhett laughing)

- Jacob almost fell out of his seat.

Yeah, that was something that we gleaned,

once we talked about this later because I

kept going to talk about what that people

were known for.

- Two lessons learned.

We already learned with the Joe Keery conversation.

First of all, Joe was incredibly gracious

and he's like, you know, he's done this

with the way that Stranger Things

kind of blew up and now he's gotten

all these other roles like, he's like,

he's established himself.

He's a Hollywood celebrity.

He can go to these things.

Everybody recognizes him.

And he was super gracious, super nice.

His girlfriend was equally nice and gracious.

- Yeah, we had a good time.

- Talked to us for a while.

Now, you asked me--

- And then I was like, I was feeling good.

- Well, but two things.

I want to give the two lessons learned

at this conversation.

Because the first one was, don't talk

to them about the thing because you also talked

to Joe about how...

(Rhett laughing)

- Stranger Things season--

- No, let me say.

You told him you're like, yeah man,

I hadn't finished season two yet.

Like, so you actually, so first of all--

- Yeah and I was like, don't spoil it for me.

But, you know what?

maybe you could spoil it for me--

- But rule number one--

- 'Cause wouldn't that be cool if Joe Keery

spoiled season two for me?

- No it wouldn't, because rule number one--

- No that was me talking to him.

- Rule number one is--

- I told him that.

- Okay, I wasn't there yet.

See, I didn't come in fast enough.

Rule number one is, do not talk to a celebrity

about the thing that they are known most for.

- Cuz every fan does that.

- Because that's what every fan does

and you're trying to establish yourself.

It's, now I'm not a fan, I'm like you, bro.

- I'm a peer.

- So the question is--

- You were on my show.

- What are you working on now?

That's the question.

And then the second--

- That's what they want to talk about.

- A second thing that happened is,

we were up there, Stevie and I joined

the conversation.

We're talking and about, I don't know,

four minutes, four to five minutes

into the conversation, I got the sense,

I was like, we should exit this conversation,

you know, I can kind of tell that Joe's--

- I think the proper terminology would be,

let Joe go.

- Let Joe go, because he's being gracious.

He's got lots of people to talk to.

But I don't think that Link got that message.

And you continued to speak and continue to

bring things up.

- Yeah.

- For another five minutes.

- Really liked talking to Joe.

- Super gracious and so he wasn't gonna be

the one to bail because he's such a nice guy.

But eventually--

- In the pecking order you can't monopolize

someone above you--

- He did--

- Too much of their time.

- He did bail eventually.

So, the second rule is, you have to cut

the conversation, if you are...

You need to exit the conversation first

if you're below that person on the

pecking order, so that you don't seem

like you're trying to monopolize their time.

- Yeah, it sounds ugly.

It sounds gross, but it is true.

But I was kind of riding too high at that point.

I was like, he remembered me.

It's like, hey, we had a fun conversation.

There were laughs.

Maybe it lasted a little long, didn't

know that yet.

And then I'm walking ahead of you guys again,

I'm like, I'm trolling like a bass fisherman

going through, and like, it's close quarters.

And so like, people are passing on the left

and right, and people are, a lot of people

make eye contact because they're looking

for someone who's higher on the pecking order

than them.

- Yep.

- People want to see somebody famous.

So I try to have a look on my face that,

like I was famous. - Yeah, famous face.

- I had hair on my head that looked famous.

- Yeah, yeah, we look like guys who are trying

real hard.

I mean, the suit that I had on--

- Your suit, especially.

- Was trying so hard--

- Mine was a little toned down--

- And I'm already so tall.

I'm all ready, you know, like a beacon.

- It was like a checkerboard.

- I might as well have had like,

a light on me that was like, I'm trying

hard, you know, like a neon sign.

- I didn't have that, but I just,

I had the look on my face.

And as I walked by this couple, the guy

caught my eye and I turn and I looked at him

at point-blank range like, yeah, I could

probably put my thumb on my nose and then

reach my pinky out and put it on his nose.

- Right, that's pretty close.

- Like, that's pretty close.

And then I was like, I recognize this guy.

I know exactly who this guy is.

And I was like, Greg!

(laughing)

- And let me just say that his name was not Greg.

- That's not what I knew about him, apparently.

I didn't know his name--

- But I--

- But then I followed up with me

and I was like, I could tell by the look

on his face that-- - It wasn't Greg.

- That his name was not Greg.

But-- - But, why Greg?

- I thought he looked like a Greg.

- But, that's not-- - And I was like--

- That's not how you begin conversations.

You don't look at people and imagine what

their names might be.

And then just say it. - I knew him.

- That never should be picked.

- So I was like, uh-uh, okay your name's

not Greg but I do know who you are.

You are the rock climber.

- It was Alex Honnold.

- And I was like so, I'm sorry, just,

my name's Link.

What's your name?

He said, Alex.

I'm like, yes. - Yeah, so--

- Your name is Alex, you climb--

- So this is where Link--

- Rock formations-- - Told him what he did.

- With no harnesses.

You are a freak of nature.

I didn't say that, but I was thinking,

your brain, your body, your everything

is a freak of nature.

He climbs like El Capitan at Yosemite just,

in a pair of shorts and a tee shirt.

- Now, I saw you-- - And a cellphone.

- I saw you starting this conversation

and I was like, this is a good conversation.

Like, because this is--

- Not too famous.

- This isn't somebody that everybody's

gonna know about.

This guy, he's a climber.

I follow him on Instagram.

I think he's absolutely amazing.

I do know that his name is Alex, not Greg.

- So do I, yeah. - You know now.

And so when I saw you talking to him

I was like, this is great, go up.

I have points of reference about who he is.

I follow him on Instagram.

And so, and again--

- I introduced you.

I remembered your name.

- Super-- - And Stevie's name.

- Super nice guy. - Very gracious.

- And didn't act like he didn't have

time for us at all.

He was, in fact--

- I made fun of myself.

I knew that like--

- You got out of it.

You got out of it.

It's not like you completely embarrassed

yourself like later in the night.

- We fully recovered.

- Right, and he's super nice.

And he also talked about how, sure he'd,

you know, if he could be on the show

at some point.

We were like, yeah!

You know, where there's a picture of us

holding up, on Instagram, we held up

our hands because his hands are like so like,

meaty, the kind of hands that you need to climb

the faces of mountains, in just a pair

of shorts.

We were fascinated by...

Super nice guy.

Also, his girlfriend, super nice.

- Super nice.

I called her Ashanti.

- Yeah.

- That was not her name.

- That was not her name.

- But, by then it was a joke.

So, they're, my pet names for them,

at that point became--

- [Both] Greg and Ashanti.

- And they got a real big kick

out of that one.

I brought it back at the closer

when we were saying goodbye.

After probably talking to them for

way too long, as well.

- Definitely. - Yeah.

It was you, also talk to them too...

You talked to them more than I did.

- But you gotta be in agreement.

I can't be like, all right Link, let's go.

I mean, like you were like, you were

so zoned in that I could, what am I gonna

be like, pinch you like a child on the arm?

I'm not gonna do that.

- We could work something out, yeah.

- Well what we did is, right after that,

I told you, I was like, you gotta get out

of these conversations earlier.

(Link laughing)

And this is before we established the rules.

- It's like, look at that guy in

the checkerboard suit just just giving

that other guy the third-degree.

- I was like, you're taking these conversations

too long and it's--

- I was having a blast.

- But no, and no, to clarify cuz I know

how this, the dynamic of this whole thing works.

The comments are gonna be like, why is Rhett

picking on Link the way that he wants to

do the party?

I think that you also need to take some

responsibility

- Yeah, I do. - You agree with this.

- I agree that these are lessons that--

- It became an inconvenience for the people

that you were talking with.

- Yes.

- That's what I'm saying.

You became an inconvenience to those people,

and you don't want to be an inconvenience

to those people.

In the same way that we wouldn't want

somebody to do that to us.

But again, at this point, no one was like,

everybody was super nice.

It wasn't like we were ruining relationships

or anything like that.

He may be on the show.

It was so great.

I wasn't mad.

- And did you notice his eyes?

Like, his eyes were deep, dark, pools.

- He's got the eye of the tiger, man.

- It's like, you could tell that there was something

that you normally see in people's eyes

that was not in his eyes.

- No fear.

- That allowed him to climb a mountain with nothing.

- Not a hint of fear.

No matter what could have happened,

no matter who would have come in there,

this man cannot be afraid.

- At one point, I asked him, I was like,

"they've analyzed your brain, right?"

Because I knew there was a documentary.

He was there because there was a documentary about him.

- That was at regular theaters.

Yeah, okay.

So, then--

- I'm still flying pretty high at this point

in terms of, like, confidence.

- We did have a little talk though after that.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Where I was like, you know,

listen, you know, let's not spend so much time,

but still, at this point, to Link's credit,

I still wasn't, I didn't say let's switch roles.

I didn't say that.

I didn't say, let me start the conversations,

I was like, no, you still be the one

to start the conversations, Stevie and I

will come in, we'll have a great conversation,

we'll end in a good place--

- And then we go to the--

- Let's just be a little quicker, more efficient.

- I'm like, okay, you know, I'm teachable.

I'm open.

- It's a teachable moment.

- I want to learn, I want to make

the best of this.

So, we go to the bar, we grab us a drink,

we actually got a drink.

And then I turn around, and I was like,

that guy over there talking to that girl

that he obviously came with.

He's like, wearing a sweater.

- Yeah.

- He's got black hair.

- Dark brown.

- Dark brown, curly hair.

- Beard.

- Beard.

That guy is a rapper, that guy is Lil Dicky.

- Lil Dicky.

- Lil Dicky is a very, he's a hilarious rapper.

This is me talking to you and Stevie.

I don't know if you knew him at the time.

- Of course I knew him. - Okay.

Skilled lyricist as well. - Yeah.

Familiar with his work and a fan.

- So, I'm like, I'm gonna talk to him.

- And also, still, like-- - Right.

- We're not at, like, places that we will

eventually get in terms of, like,

names that everyone will know,

which is where this conversation is going, okay?

- He's not in ubiquity.

I'm like, I'm gonna go talk to Lil Dicky.

And I guess, since I went ahead,

I should tell what happened

before we got there.

- I would love to hear you tell it.

- Just jump in when you remember

when you showed up.

Let's see.

How did this go?

I go up to him, and I'm like,

"hey, how's it going?"

- No, no, you said... - What did I say?

- Because you told me this.

- I've told you, I just can't remember

exactly what I said.

- You said, "I would like to introduce myself."

- Hey, man, I'd like to introduce myself,

I'm Link.

And then it was kind of loud, there was music

playing, I was shaking his hand.

I put my head down to put my ear

towards his mouth to hear his response,

and he said, "hey, man.

"I'm," and he said--

- He said a name.

- He said a name.

- Right.

- And then I looked up, and again, I was

just as close, I could have done

the thumb pinkie touch--

- You can't tell what you were thinking though,

because that ruins the punchline.

- I said, "I thought you were Lil Dicky."

- And then he said.

- [Both] "I am."

(Rhett laughing)

- And I said, "well, I know,"

he was like...

"That's not, that's not my real name."

- And then he proceeded to say--

- He said Jay-Z, he brought up Jay-Z.

He said--

- I was there by this point.

- He said, "Jay-Z's name is not Jay-Z."

And I was like, "well, I know that.

"I was just...

"I mean, I understand that's not

"your name, but I just didn't

"know if it was you."

Because here's what happened,

it wasn't that I thought his name was Lil Dicky

and he was gonna introduce himself that way.

It's that, when I got that close

to Lil Dicky for the very first time

in my life, and, like, I'm looking up

and I could have, you know, I could have,

I could have kissed him on the nose.

When I was that close, I immediately

was overwhelmed with the thought,

this is not Lil Dicky.

This is just some guy.

- Oh gosh.

Some guy that looks a lot

like Lil Dicky at the GQ party.

- But again, when you get that close

to somebody, you can see the pores

in their skin.

- You've never seen that.

- You start to--

- You've never seen Lil Dicky in 4K.

- They look a little more real

than any other way they've been

presented on any screen.

And so, at that moment, I was just thinking,

I don't want to have a conversation

with this guy thinking he's Lil Dicky,

but it turns out he's not.

I don't want to invest that amount of time,

because that's gonna get awkward.

So, instead of making this awkward,

having an awkward conversation as if

I think he's a rapper that he's not--

- I'm gonna make it more awkward

than I ever could possibly,

other than that first scenario.

- I'm just gonna say, I thought

you were Lil Dicky.

I am.

- Which, you realize that in avoiding

awkwardness, you stepped into

one of the most awkward conversations you had.

Probably the most awkward conversation

you had that night.

- In my time on the planet.

Because it didn't end there.

Because then I was, like, trying to,

I was like, oh, here's my friends,

Rhett and Stevie.

Hopefully they can help rescue me from this awkward

moment I've created.

Again, I thought, I'll just acknowledge

that I've done this.

And then at that point, he turned to me

and he said, "you're doing great."

(Rhett laughing)

Which, side note, if you ever hear that

in the conversation, it doesn't mean

you're doing great.

And I'm not, I'm just saying what happened.

I'm not trying to paint Lil Dicky

as a lil dicky or a big dicky.

- Here's the deal, I'll say that I actually

think he's a very nice guy.

- I think he was trying his best.

- I think he was trying to make it funny,

because what was happening was so awkward,

I think he was just trying to make it funny.

And you know what?

- Me too.

- It was very funny.

- It was funny.

And you know what?

He deserves no hate for that response.

Because I don't think he was being mean,

I think he was trying to play it off.

- Yeah, he was.

- And it was funny from his perspective.

- But we talked about, okay, so, there's a lot

of lessons learned in this situation.

I mean, obviously--

- Well, it got worse after that,

because I was talking to him, I was like,

you talked to him a little bit.

You and Stevie were kind of embarrassed for me,

and I get that.

And then I was like, hey, man,

your songs are hilarious.

They actually played one of them in my--

- Oh gosh.

- In my gym.

- I forgot about this.

- Like, they were playing one in the gym,

and I was just, like, busting out laughing.

And I was like--

- You were violating that other rule again.

- Yeah, I talked about--

- You were talking about your personal,

your very personal touch point.

- I was fanboying over his song,

and then I was like, I was like,

"yeah, man, I'm in there laughing."

I'm like, "you're helping me get fit.

"Like, this," and then I pointed at my body,

"this is for you."

- Yeah.

- I was like, "no, I don't mean,

"I don't mean this is for you, I meant,

"this is because of you.

"Like, me being this fit is because,

"I was just trying to make a joke

"that they played your song in my gym."

- Here's the thing--

- "But this is for you if you want it."

- At this point, at this point,

Lil Dicky should have said,

you know what, I'm not Lil Dicky.

That's actually what he should have said,

because it would have ended the conversation.

- And it's interesting, because,

do you remember?

A guy came over my left shoulder and said,

hey, man, and he leaned into his ear

and he was like, I really blah blah blah blah blah.

And then Lil Dicky was like, thanks, man.

And then the guy walked off.

And then I said to him, I was like--

- That's what I should have done.

- Now, that's what I should have done.

I told him that.

But there was no recovering.

I was like a puddle.

- Well, okay, but there's a couple things.

Because we gotta get to more stuff.

There's better stories than this,

believe it or not.

- That's it, I'm done.

- The first thing that I said is--

- I'm still a fan.

- I don't think that you should say

I would like--

- [Both] To introduce myself.

- My name is Link.

Because, I think that you should just,

I'm not saying you shouldn't introduce yourself,

but you began the conversation in a way

that was like, I know that you have no idea

who I am and I'm just coming at you

from this just, I'm just a fan,

versus just like, hey, I'm Link.

You could have just said, hey, I'm Link.

- Give him a little bit, a sliver of doubt

that they might know who you are

or have worked with you are before,

or should know who you are.

- I personally like to go with good to see you.

Because that's not untrue.

- Not again, but just, good to see you.

- Good to see you.

- Good to see you.

- Good to see you.

- But then you, and then you say, I'm Rhett?

You can't do both of those.

- I'm reading, I'm reading the situation.

But in these situations, I came in so late

that it was just--

- But it was the plan.

- And then it was just, we were just talking

about what you had talked about.

So, and again, you already know

the whole thing about, like, if you think

somebody's that person, then just go with it

until you find another way out of the conversation

other than suddenly doubting

in the middle of conversation.

- Jay-Z's name is not Jay-Z as it turns out.

- So, after that happened, we began

to talk about how, what we had done

is, we created an incredible Ear Biscuit.

It was like, the stories that were being generated

by your interactions with people

were so entertaining to me that

I was just having a great time,

Stevie and I both, being blown away

at how South the conversations were going.

- Well, we talked to Bo Burnham after that,

and that was a great conversation because--

- It was.

- We reminisced about the first time

we met in 2008.

- Yeah, YouTube life.

- Had a good little conversation.

Saw him later, made eye contact,

and then we went in different directions

because we had already had our conversation.

- Right.

But then we're rolling around the party,

and one of the things, this is another sort of

principal that you see in these

industry parties, is that the recognizable

faces begin to thin out very quickly, right?

After, you know, I don't know, if the party

starts at 9:00 o'clock, well,

then by 10:30 at the latest,

anybody that you would recognize

as a celebrity, they're gone.

And now it's just the industry people

who just want to have a party who are there.

- They got in their one picture and they're out.

- Again, we do not see ourselves as celebrities.

We, we're at the party to kind of establish

ourselves in that way, but that's not how

we think about ourselves, and so we have

to have this thing where it's like,

it kicks in, and we're like, ah, you know what?

Anybody else who's supposed to be famous

has left, so we should probably leave too.

Like, it's literally that level of reasoning.

It's not cool in any way.

Let's get one more drink, or let's get some

more of that food.

I want another one of those cake pops.

You know me, I'm going for the food.

- And as we're contemplating that, there's like,

a line of people.

And I turn around, I look over my shoulder,

Michael B. Jordan is walking by.

And I'm like, he's in motion.

he's going towards the exit.

If I'm gonna meet Michael B. Jordan,

or if you're gonna meet him, this is the moment.

So, I wheeled around.

And I was like, "hey, I'd like to introduce myself.

"I'm Link."

I hadn't gotten over that yet.

And he was like, "hey, man."

- He never stopped, by the way,

I watched this happen.

- He never stopped moving.

- Which is smart.

- And as I rotated, trying to follow Michael B. Jordan,

muscular dude, shorter than me though.

(Rhett laughing)

He said, he was like, I was like,

"congratulations on everything."

- Yeah, that wasn't bad, that was pretty good.

It's a good line.

- Then he kept moving, and as I turned back around

to look at you guys, I got hit

in the shoulder by a guy--

- Bodyguard number one.

- Who was following Michael B. Jordan.

And then I continued to turn around,

I got hit in the shoulder

by another guy's shoulder.

- Bodyguard number two.

Yeah.

- And then, if my memory serves me correctly--

- I saw it happen four times.

- There was at least two more guys.

- I saw you get hit four times.

- Who felt the need to make physical contact

with my shoulder just to let me know,

hey, dude, you just talked to my employer

as he was exiting, and I just want my presence

to be felt, and that happened four times

in rapid succession.

It didn't hurt, it wasn't aggressive,

it wasn't physical.

- It was just kind of establishing--

- I'm not gonna press any charges.

- The way things work, it's just the way things work.

- Yeah, he had some bodyguards.

I don't think anybody else there had bodyguards.

- But then, right before we leave,

we're like, we gotta make one last,

is there a section of the party

that we missed?

Because, again, we're looking--

- Let's make one more round.

- I mean, I'm looking at, like,

the previous year's pictures from this party,

and, like, Rihanna was there.

And of course, I'm thinking,

if I meet Rihanna, I gotta talk to her

about how, you know, I have a crush

on you on the internet.

- I think you might, would have

had to introduce yourself.

- Yeah.

I would have said, I would like to introduce myself.

And I wouldn't have cared how it went.

But we're thinking, we're gonna meet somebody like that.

And so, we take one last little stroll,

and there's this little area outside

that we hadn't seen yet, and it was,

I think it was, like, the smoking section.

- It was a porch.

Stevie was like, oh, there's a porch out there.

And then she grabs my arm.

She was like, "it's not a secret section,

"it's been the smoking section all along.

"All the coolest celebrities

"are in the smoking section."

Which, don't smoke, celebrities.

It's not good for you.

- And not everybody was smoking

in the smoking section, it was just,

it's what it was.

- It was small.

We walked out there, and of course

it was dwindling by this point,

and I didn't see anybody, and we're standing out there,

then all of a sudden.

(gasps)

- John Mayer.

- John Mayer.

- John Mayer.

Now--

- We're 40 year old white guys.

- [Rhett] I think it's important--

- So, we like John Mayer.

- I think it's important for me

to tell this one from my perspective.

- There are people who hate John Mayer,

so if we're talking about how we're, like,

gushing over John Mayer,

they'll be like, what, you're in poor taste

or something, I don't know.

- Let's just set record straight

about John Mayer.

His most recent albums, when he went

a little bit country, that is his best work.

If you disagree with that, you're wrong.

He's an incredible musician,

he's an incredible song writer,

he's an incredible lyricist,

he's an incredible guitar player.

Like, virtuoso guitar player.

Now, he may have made some weird

personal choices and statements in the past,

and I'm not defending that, and I'm not

even referencing that, but he is

an incredible musician, and we both

love his music, and so this was

an important moment for us

when we saw John Mayer.

- So, we're standing, you know,

I could probably throw a rock

hard enough to kill him from that distance.

(Rhett laughing)

I don't know, I'm just trying to,

I don't want to do that, I'm just trying to--

- I love the way that you--

- Trying to say distance.

- You like to paint the physical space picture.

I was close enough that if I was

talking to him and had my finger on my nose.

- Right, if I had a rock

about the size of a fist, I could

probably kill him with it.

- But based on the way that you had

behaved throughout the night.

At this point, I wasn't even having to do,

Stevie was in charge at this point.

And she said, you cannot talk to him.

You cannot talk to John Mayer, okay?

And we were--

- And I'm like, you know what?

Yeah, you're right, I'm not gonna talk to him.

- And he was standing next to,

the three of us were in our little group,

and he was in a group of, like,

two or three people talking to them.

And we were, you know, close enough

to kill him with a rock.

And at that point, we're saying,

Link, you can't talk to him because

it's just gonna be super awkward.

But then he begins to leave,

and that exit involves walking past us.

- Walking behind me.

- And actually closest to you.

So, you did the Michael B. Jordan move,

and you turned.

- Well, yeah, and I've been saying,

I'm not gonna, I'll play nice,

I'm not gonna, we'll wait for another opportunity.

There's be another time to meet John Mayer.

I'm not gonna, I gotta gather myself,

there'll be another party.

But then when he started exiting,

and he was right behind me, I was like,

ah, sike.

I gotta meet him.

And so I wheeled around.

- And you said, "hey, John."

What was you middle statement?

Because it was your last statement that,

you were like...

Congrats?

- I think I was like, big fan.

- You said something that wasn't as specific as big fan.

And I told the story to a bunch of people,

and I can't remember, but the last part was--

- And then he kept, he didn't stop walking.

He was like, "hey, man, yeah, thanks."

And he was exiting.

- But you said, "I love you."

(Rhett laughing)

- Yeah, I did.

I told him that I loved him.

- And you didn't intend that.

- No.

- You could tell by the way you started it,

it was, I love you.

It changed into I love you.

- Right.

I, I love.

Well, he was walking away so fast.

- No, no, you said, "hey, John.

"Nice work.

"I love you."

- Yeah, that was it.

- That is exactly what you said to John Mayer.

- "Hey, John, nice work."

He said, "thanks, man, thanks."

He kept walking, I'm like, "I love you."

(Rhett laughing)

And then he was gone.

But from my perspective, from, like,

inside of my brain, which, you know--

- It's a weird place.

- You should buy a ticket.

Uh, it's worth the wait.

I think I was gonna say something like,

I love your work.

But he was gone, so it was just,

I love your, your.

- No, you said I love you.

- Well, I was facing him, not you.

- You're trying to save it.

You said I love you.

- But you know what, I do love him.

- And that's great.

And you know what?

John doesn't care.

He doesn't remember you.

- No.

It wasn't a memorable exchange.

Now, Lil Dicky, I think might remember me.

- Yeah, he probably does.

- I feel the need to take a moment

to speak directly to--

- He's probably told that story.

- What is his name?

- His name is David.

- Dave.

- David Burd.

- He introduced himself as Dave.

Dave, I know your name's not Lil Dicky.

I know that I put you in an awkward position,

and I even know that in telling our story

that it might paint you as the guy,

but I want to go on record and say

that you did the best you could,

you even brought some humor into it,

which I fully appreciate.

I'm still a fan.

You didn't do anything wrong.

So, you have no need to apologize,

and no need for me to let you off

the hook even though I'm doing it.

I look forward to seeing you again

where we can have a normal conversation,

and let's just go from there.

Can we start over?

Can I have a do over?

- Sure.

- Thanks, Dave.

And John.

Just have a moment with you.

- He's not watching.

- I love you.

- There's not a chance.

- That's it, that's all I wanted to say to you.

- So, as we, so, on the way home that night,

we started kind of establishing--

- John's got a big noggin.

- Well, all the greats do.

All the greats do, all the great songwriters--

- Up close like that?

- Have big heads.

- His head's like twice as big as yours.

- No, it's not twice as big,

it's probably 20% bigger.

- Yeah.

In a good way.

- As we discussed the rules, we've kind

of been through a few of them,

get out of the conversation earlier,

don't talk about, don't talk about

the thing that they're known for.

Talk about some tangential or just ask,

what are you working on now?

Don't assume that they don't know who

you are, just talking to them like you're

picking up a conversation.

Don't tell them that you love them.

- Don't be a fanboy.

- And there's a certain level of celebrity,

and I think Michael B. Jordan

and John Mayer both fit this bill,

that there's just really no circumstances

that you should talk to them.

There's very few, I think there's very few--

- I can't accept that.

- There's very few to that conversation

going the way that you would want.

I think it's typically gonna be,

you're gonna be talking to somebody

who then has a connection or something like that.

Now, you're gonna get more of a thrill,

and you're gonna get better stories.

- I think Mamrie Hart met Reese Witherspoon

at a party and they're like

best friends now.

She's so much better with people.

- Well, that's for sure.

- I think we need to hire her to consult me.

- But--

- I'm just gonna go to the parties with Mamrie.

- But, again--

- Of course, I kind of need to be invited.

- Again, I'm grateful, I'm grateful

that you took the initiative.

I'm grateful that we have these stories.

These stories are probably,

in one sentence, more strategic

and of more value than the relationship

that we could have had with those people,

that we will never have with those people now.

But you know what?

We may, Alex Honnold might be on the show at some point.

- Don't forget, we talked to Terry Crews.

He knew who we are, and he gave us

a motivational speech that same night.

- And let me say, I initiated

the conversation with Terry Crews.

- That's 'cause we had seen

him the night before.

- That's what I'm saying.

I'm outlining the differences.

And I'm not saying, I think that in the setting, you--

- I talked to Terry.

- You're better at these things.

So, what I'm saying is, I will talk

to anybody if I got a point of contact.

And so, we had seen him at the,

he's, by the way, we talked about

this before, nicest guy on the planet.

Terry Crews, nicest guy on the planet.

And actually, he and his son watch the show,

it was incredible.

But we took these rules,

and we said, the next time we go

to a party, we're going to apply

some of these rules.

And so, we got invited to the...

HBO Golden Globes after party.

And I was coming back from,

first of all, it was, you know,

we were told, I think you probably could,

you didn't have to have a tux,

but technically black tie.

We didn't have tuxes.

I was in Mexico at the time,

and I was gonna have to get back,

get fitted for a tux, because the Rhettster

don't wear something off the rack

because they don't make things that fit me, okay?

So, I have to get things fitted,

I have to get things tailored

if they're gonna look halfway decent.

So, I was gonna have to get off the plane,

come here to the office, get fitted

for a tux, and them immediately

get into a car and go to this party,

which is what happened.

And I was actually a little bit late

because there was a flight delay.

So, we're going down, and apparently all

the parties after the Golden Globes

are at the hotel, the Beverley Hilton

where the Golden Globes are held.

And they're all in these little areas,

so you got Netflix and Amazon and Hulu

or whatever, and HBO.

So, there's like six parties.

Like, big, significant parties,

and they're all in the same place,

and so, because the traffic would be

so crazy to this little hotel,

they have a shuttle service where you

meet offsite at a parking area,

and you get into these shuttles.

- And we were told to Uber to

the location of the shuttles, then a shuttle

will take you to the party,

and then, you know, bring your ID

so you can, you know.

- Because there's a list.

- There's a list.

- Right.

So, we get to the shuttle area, and we see

just a bunch of shuttles lined up,

and we go to the first one,

and it's closed, and it's full.

We go to the second one, it's closed,

and it's full.

We go to the third one, the door's open.

What do we do?

We go on the shuttle.

- Yeah, I go up in the shuttle.

And lo and behold, the shuttle's full

except for two seats.

(angelic singing)

- How many of us are there?

- Two.

Perfect math.

- Just the two of us.

- So we sat down.

- We sit down, and then we begin

to have a conversation with a woman

who's sitting next to us.

And this conversation concerns

me a little bit, you know,

as the one who tends to worry

a little bit more and try to figure

out if we're doing the right thing.

- Yeah, I was feeling great.

- You were just like, we're on the shuttle,

we're on the shuttle, it's great.

- And I was like, but something doesn't

seem right about this, because we didn't

talk to anybody, we just got on the shuttle,

and then we talked, and the woman

was not going to the HBO party.

I think she was already under

the influence of something.

- Okay.

- There was something going on there

because it was not clear communication from her.

I didn't want to seem uncool, but I was

just like, is this going to the HBO party?

And she was like, "well, it goes to all the parties."

And then I'm like, "what do you mean?

"Are we gonna be dropped off at different parties?"

We didn't know that all the parties

were at the same place.

We knew nothing.

I'm beginning to think we should

get off of the shuttle and tell people,

hey, we want to go to the HBO party.

- We don't belong here is what

it sounded like to me, so I'm like,

nope, staying put on the shuttle.

I'm not gonna admit defeat in front

of everybody on this shuttle

by having a walk of shame.

- Stay tuned to what actually happened.

- Walk of shame.

And then the shuttle starts moving, so we don't--

- Too late at that point.

- We're, like, arguing with each other

under our breath, and I'm trying to calm Rhett down.

And then it's like, well, the shuttle's moving.

There's nothing we can do now.

We finally get over there to the Beverley Hilton--

- Which was like, half a mile away,

it wasn't even that far.

- They let us off, and then they're like,

a lot of security people on the red carpet there,

and they're like wrist bands, wrist bands.

And I'm like, wrist bands?

I ain't heard nothing about no wrist bands.

- And everyone on the shuttle has a wrist band

except you know who, the two guys

that just walked onto the shuttle

randomly, because apparently there was a whole

thing at the parking place where you had

to get checked in and get your wrist

band so you could get into the hotel.

- There were no signs, there was no orientation.

- Yeah, in our defense, no one told us this.

- And there was other people who were like,

oh, we Ubered directly here

because I didn't want to get on that shuttle,

and I don't have a wrist band either,

so this woman's, like, taking down names

and going, she's with HBO and she's

going to get wrist bands.

- Okay, now, at this point, talk about

being a little bit embarrassed,

if you're talking about trying to save face

for the shuttle, what ended up happening is,

everyone's getting off these shuttles

and just walking straight past security,

and you and I and some real estate people,

they said that they were real estate,

are all standing out there.

- Like fans.

- Yeah.

Not able to get in.

And we look like two guys that just dressed

up and walked, and we're just hoping we could

slide by security like the Grammy video

we did years ago.

- Because that does happen.

There are people lurking and trying

to look like they belong, and just get in.

Jeff Bridges was leaving.

- All kinds of people were coming and going.

All kinds of very recognizable actors.

- My favorite actor--

- Stephen Root walked behind you.

- I know.

And then you didn't tell me until

he was already gone.

- Because I didn't want you, and you should

thank me for this.

I didn't want you to meet your favorite

character actor, Stephen Root--

- On the outside of a party where it--

- Without a wrist band.

- Yeah.

- You didn't want to do that either.

- Nope.

- So, thank me.

- I'm not ready to do that, because he wasn't

in the party, Rhett.

He wasn't in our party.

- Yeah, but he would have been like, you coming?

And you would have been like,

as soon as I get a wrist band.

And he would have been like, oh,

he's one of those guys.

But we may have ended up fairing better

than if we hadn't gotten on the shuttle.

- I think we did.

- Because it did take about 30 minutes of,

I was kind of frantically our PR people,

because I thought that we were not gonna

get in at that point, we were

gonna have to go back to home base and it

was gonna set us back forever.

But eventually, we did get,

somebody came out and gave us wrist bands,

and then we were able to check in.

It did take about 30 minutes, and a lot of people

walking by.

But we have reason to believe that if

we had have gone all the way to the

back of the line and checked in the right way,

we probably would have gotten

to the party like an hour and a half later.

It was ridiculous how late this thing was.

But then we go in.

- So, we got in earlier.

- But we got in, and, uh,

this party was different.

It was bigger.

- You could get plates full of food at this party,

and there were seats.

There were tables, like round tables.

It was much more laid back.

It was more like a dinner party.

Well, not a dinner party, but a party

where you could eat dinner.

(Link laughing)

- Yeah, a party where you can eat dinner.

- But not a dinner party where everybody's

seated and someone gives a speech,

that's not it.

- But I would say the percentage of--

- Really famous people was--

- Lower percentage of really famous people,

but a lot of, like, I know that guy

from that movie, I know that guy

from that show, but I don't know his name,

and you probably wouldn't either,

but you'd recognize him.

It was a lot of those people and then

a lot of industry people.

And it was a much larger party

in terms of space and in terms of attendance.

- We had some good conversations with people who,

you know, again, it's good to have

industry conversations, meet producers

and all this type of stuff.

So, it's like, and a number of those

people talked to us because

they knew who we were.

Sometimes because their kids know who we were,

but hey, that's a good in.

I'll take it any way I can get it.

And we also, well, we had a couple

people that we wanted to talk to, right?

It's a HBO party, so we thought that

Mark and Jay Duplass would be there, right?

We both finished reading their book.

- Yup.

- Fans of theirs.

We think--

- I'd like to have a conversation with them.

- We'd like to talk to those guys.

Because we just think that--

- Just relate to their relationship.

- Similar backgrounds and similar philosophies,

but they weren't there.

They could have been there, and maybe we missed them,

but we didn't see them.

Because I was trying to, and maybe I pushed

it too far in my direction, which,

I was like, let's talk to people

that we've got a reason to talk to.

That doesn't mean we have to know them,

but, like, let's initiate a conversation

and there's, like, an in.

With those guys, it would have been like,

hey, we just read your book.

And first of all, that would mean something

to them because we're not talking

about Room 104 or whatever everybody

else is talking about.

We're talking about this thing that, like--

- Pet project.

- You guys like the book?

Yeah, we just listened to it,

here's all these parallels

that are really interesting between us and you guys.

- You were prepped for that.

- I was ready for that conversation.

But that didn't happen.

We saw Pete Holmes, who had been

on Good Mythical Morning.

- Let's call him a friend of the show.

- Friend of the show.

And had a conversation, met his wife

for the first time, had a great conversation

with Pete.

He actually said basically the same thing,

he was like, "it took us forever

"to get into this party, and I'm glad I ran

"into you guys, because having a conversation

"I want to be in makes it worth it."

That felt great.

You know, 'cause he's thinking the same thing.

He's got a show on HBO and he's thinking

the same thing.

Like, who am I gonna talk to at this thing.

- But let's not make it out to be like,

we have to have certain types of interactions

at a party to feel good about ourselves.

Because earlier, you established

that we don't need that.

- Well, but I'm not the one that tries to,

well, then what is your goal in all

the conversations that you try to initiate?

You're just trying to have a good time?

- Move and shake.

I mean, there is a business to this,

but it's not, it's what, I don't need

to feel good about myself.

And I don't think you do either,

but I'm just saying that it sounded

like it in that moment where it's like,

oh, it felt good for somebody to say

they wanted to talk to us.

And it did feel good.

But it's just a weird, it's a weird

environment where, like, and maybe

this is kind of true of LA in general,

is that it's people trying to

get themselves noticed or get their

project accomplished.

Or to make their way.

And so, it's, you know, industry parties

are industry parties.

They're to work.

You know, it's not like a friend party,

like you said, where, like,

yeah, there may be a bunch of celebrities

at a party, and boy, wouldn't that be interesting,

but they're there because they're friends.

That's' not an industry party.

- Well, because, I mean--

- Gotta get something done.

- Well, because one of the things

that we're thinking about,

just strategically, creatively,

I don't know, one of the things that we've learned

is getting really qualified people

to help you make things happen

is, that's what we want to do, right?

I mean, that's the reason that we're doing

what we do today, is because at some point,

we figured out, oh, you know what really works?

Is getting people who can do things better

than we can to do those things.

And that's why we have a team now.

But the same thing applies to,

who are you gonna work with?

Who are you gonna collaborate with

on this project?

Who's gonna help write it, produce it,

who's gonna act in it?

That kind of thing, and things

that we want to do.

And so, you want to have those connections

so that, when you say, here's the idea,

will you help make it happen?

Would you like to be in it, to an actor

or whatever, it's like, oh, yeah,

I do, because either I saw you

at that party and I saw you guys

on the red carpet, and then I looked,

you know, these little touch points matter

if you want to play that game.

- But it's all unspoken.

I don't think, well, maybe there is a booklet

or something, but, and maybe I could have saved

a lot of heartache, and sidestepped

a fun podcast though, by reading it.

- I don't think that any damage has been done.

- No.

- Let me just clarify that--

- I didn't say it had been.

- I think that even the most

embarrassing interaction that you had

with Mr. David Burd, Lil Dicky,

is what they call him.

He has a rap name.

- I call him Dave.

- Even that conversation, the chances

of us working with Lil Dicky

actually went up because of the interaction.

Now, there are interactions where

the chances would have gone down, right?

The chances would have gone down,

they were at a tipping, they were right there

in a real gray area for a second there.

- Glad I didn't have a rock with John Mayer.

That would have been horrible.

- But I do think that the most important thing

is just beginning the conversation,

but I do think that we now know

how to be a tad more strategic.

- I think that there were no mishaps

at the Golden Globe party,

except for the shuttle thing,

which I think ended up being great.

We got there early.

So, I don't think I have any demerits.

- No, lessons learned at Golden Globes.

- At the HBO party.

- Yeah, I can't think of any

lessons learned at the Golden Globes party.

- And I got a tux out of it.

Well, I mean, I bought it.

- Well, I'll tell you one lesson we learned,

we actually applied it.

After you go through the red carpet

and get your pictures taken by the professional

photographers, you go back to the red carpet

at the end of the night, and there will be people

taking their picture with their iPhones.

You get one of them to take a picture

of you with your phone, and

that will allow you to have a picture on

your camera roll that isn't,

you don't have to wait until

the next day to get some Getty image

or something like that.

- That's right.

- So, the picture that we posted

was just a picture from the phone.

That's a little hack.

That's a little insider tip.

- There it is.

So, we're gonna, so, now,

next time we post photos

from the next thing we go to,

you're gonna be thinking, man,

that's a lot more complicated than I thought it was.

Lots of ins and outs.

- Yeah.

- So, thanks for hanging out with us.

Thanks for learning along with us.

Because, I mean, let's be clear.

We both learned a lot, right?

- I learned so much watching you.

(Link laughing)

So much.

- Yeah, I'm a...

I'm a teacher, man, I'm a teacher in action.

What not to do.

- Yeah, you teach by example.

You teach by bad examples.

(Link laughing)

It is a form of teaching.

I admit it.

It is fun.

I'm enjoying myself, and Stephen Root,

I'm coming for you.

- [Rhett] Oh gosh.

- [Link] To watch more Ear Biscuits,

click on the playlist on the right.

- [Rhett] To watch the previous episode

of Ear Biscuits, click on the playlist to the left.

- [Link] And don't forget to click on

the circular icon to subscribe.

- [Rhett] If you prefer to listen to this podcast,

it's available on all your favorite podcast platforms.

Thanks for being your mythical best.

(soft music)

The Description of How Do We Party?