Practice English Speaking&Listening with: What Happens When Friends Go On Opposite Vacations?

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(upbeat music)

- Welcome to Ear Biscuits.

I'm Link.

- And I'm Rhett.

This week at the round table of not quite as dim

as it used to be lighting.

- Oh.

- We're gonna be exploring the question,

what happens when two friends go on opposite vacations?

- Opposite vacations, well, I'll come back to that

but yeah, we brighten it up a little bit, I mean--

- Not too much.

- Can you go too dim?

I think, yes.

- I think we did for a quite a while.

I just got tired of looking at,

'cause I watch, I listen back and I watch back.

- Yeah, we got to get those views.

You subscribed?

- Yeah, I-- -

if you wanna watch us talk.

- And I just was like, I just think it's too dim.

- Yeah.

- Just too dim.

Maybe that's the problem.

Maybe that's our problem, it's just too dim.

We do it, there is no problem.

We don't have a problem.

- Well you're not--

- You're watching in droves.

- You're not gonna tell them what really happened.

- What really happened?

- Yeah, Keiko, I'm very happy

with what you've done with the lighting, thank you.

Thank you. - The lighting

adjusted a little bit and it's brighter and we like it.

- So the question--

- I hope you do.

- Is what happens with two friends going opposite vacations?

One to the icy heights of a mountain

and the other, to the fiery depths of hell.

That's right, I took I took my wife

on a pre-Valentine vacation.

I know Valentine's long gone by now,

to hell to visit Satan himself.

- Vacation to hell.

- No, no, we went to the to the luxurious

Cabo San Lucas in Mexico.

Mexico, I love it.

I love it down there.

- Beautiful place. - It's warm,

there's no snow, man.

It was the opposite of what you did.

Now, I--

- And that wasn't,

I mean, people asked if that was intentional.

- A little fire and ice.

- I almost posted on,

I saw what you posted on Instagram

with you lying down in the sand.

- [Link] Oh, shout out to @linklamont on Instagram.

- You almost forgot your Instagram handle.

- I wouldn't know, I was waiting for you to take over.

- Oh, I'm not gonna shout you,

I shout me out, you shot you out.

It's a beautiful arrangement.

I was going to do a post like yours but lying in the sand,

I mean in the snow.

But it was like, who am I gonna get to take this?

- Yeah. - I was kind of out there

and I'm gonna give my phone to Shepherd?

That's not gonna work.

So, I just took a picture of my face.

Probably got more likes anyway.

- That's not what it's about for me, man.

It's about my personal,

let's not get back in at that.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't go there.

- But yeah, we're like fire and ice vacations

which reminds me of Fire and Ice, the basketball players

from North Carolina State University.

- Chris Corchiani--

- [Rhett And Link] And Rodney Monroe.

- Monroe, there we go.

Rodney Monroe.

So who's Chris Corchiani?

Who's Rodney Monroe?

- Who do you think? - Chris Corchiani

was the point guard, he was the dribbler and the passer.

Rodney Monroe was the two guard, always shooting the shots.

- But who do you think?

You know who was fire and ice.

Are you asking me?

Are you asking-- - I'm ice, man.

Which one of us is,

I know Chris Corchiani was the point guard

and Rodney Monroe was the two guard.

- Which one's fire and ice?

- Oh, that is a good question.

- I know.

- I think, well, when you're on fire, you're making baskets

and when you ice, you're like, you're cool under pressure.

So one of them was making lots of baskets

and the other one,

I think Chris Corchiani was ice 'cause he was cool.

- No, no, man.

Chris Corchiani was fire because he was like super into it

and like just like crazy!

- Running around like crazy with a bowl cut.

- Rodney was cool as ice and smooth, super smooth.

- And this is like the early '90s.

- This is the late '80s.

- Really?

- I think.

Pretty sure.


- But who of us is the fire and who's the ice?

I'm the fire down in Cabo.

I'm like Chris Corchiani, running around on the beaches.

You're like ice up there freezing,

you took us off trying to ski.

- I'll take that, I'll take ice.

- Rodney Monroe had a--

- Sublime.

- Close cropped haircut with one line carved in it

and it was in the middle, I believe.

- I think it--

- [Rhett And Link] It moved.

- From time to time.

It depended his mood.

- It's kind of like the I show glaciers.

You're kind of slowly shifting.

- Chris Corchiani became a--

- [Rhett And Link] Real estate agent.

- In Raleigh and his son played for state

but did not get a lot of PT.

I think it was what they call a legacy,

a legacy spot on the team.

- Okay.

- And.

- But if we're talking about it and everybody's riveted.

- Guys, we don't know, have any idea

what you're talking about right now.

- Before we get into our vacation--

- Fire and ice, man.

- As is the Ear Biscuit practice to bring each other

fully up to speed on what happened

because we kept it from each other

in order to share it with each other

and you at the same time,

may I give a blow dryer relationship update

because in a recent Ear Biscuit conversation,

I was talking about blow drying my body with my hair dryer

when I get out of the shower and you said

you've talked about that before.

You're always talking about it and that's right.

I got an update.

Matter of fact--

- Okay, keep talking about it then.

- I've got a PSA, a public service announcement

that I discovered this morning.

Ladies and gentlemen if you like me, take a shower,

exit the shower and then go straight to your hair dryer,

blow dryer, whatever you wanna call it,

turn that thing on to give yourself a nice

crisp and warm dry feeling, not only on your hair,

not only on your armpits but also in your crotch area

like I unapologetically do

with no judgment from my tall friend

with a furrowed eyebrows, then I've got news for you.

Take your old toothbrush like I did this morning.

I don't know what you think I'm about to say

but it's not that bad.

- Okay.

- Take the back off of your blow dryer

and brush the back of your blow dryer

'cause that vent where it sucks in all the air is getting,

is getting clogged up with dust and whatnot.

I looked at the back of my hairdryer

and that thing just had a,

I was like, it looks dusty in there.

I gotta get a toothbrush to get it out and I got,

I thought about filming this for my Instagram.

I should have done it.

It was so--

- Quite a missed opportunity.

- It was so satisfying to brush out all of this--

- You unscrewed the back?

- There was like a--

- Or just did the--

- There was a superficial filter,

like a netting thing on the outside

and then there was another filter hidden inside of there

and it was easily turn a little bit and pull it off

and whoa, there it is

and I toothbrushed out all of this lint.

I'm like, man, this is satisfying.

I should have Instagrammed it.

Now, we're back to where I was in this story.

Then I'm like, I put--

- Did it improve the blow?

- I put the cap back on and, no exaggeration,

three times the blowing power.

- You're really clogged up.

- Like, I mean--

- How old is this?

How long he had this dryer?

You sure--

- Maybe. - You have your own dryer

and your wife has a different one?

Or you guys sharing?

- Christy came in right after I'd finished

and still naked but totally dry everywhere.

She couldn't find a wet spot on me.

I could have rolled around in flour

and nothing would have stuck.

- Well.

- She said,

she didn't say anything, in fact.

I said, Christy, and I pulled out my toothbrush

with all these lint and I'm like,

you can use my toothbrush to clean out your hairdryer.

She's like I use that one.

I'm like, whoa!

You use this one?

Well, I got news for you.

You're about to get three times the blowing power.

- You thought she had her own hair dryer?

- I thought she did, yeah.

- Well, you guys need to talk more.

- It was in the middle drawer but I thought

she had one over there

and I thought it was exclusively mine.

I didn't realize I was doing her a big favor.

And I was disappointed when she wasn't as excited as I was

but she didn't turn it on.

Tomorrow morning, she's gonna turn that thing on.

(imitating a blower)

It's gonna blow her away,

it's gonna blow her across the room.

She's gonna,

she's gonna hit the back wall.

- Maybe you need like--

- It was amazing.

- An air filter in your bathroom

if you've got that much dust.

- Hmm, that's a good point.

- Because the only thing this filtering right now

is the hairdryer as it's occasionally used.

- Oh, no, I don't use it occasionally.

I use it-- - It's like

the lung of your bathroom.

- I use it. (laughs)

That's right.

- Hold on,

I know you squeegee.

- I towel.

- You towel off and then you blow dry.

- All right guys, he's engaged.

He's engaged in this conversation.

Yeah, I squeegee with my hands,

but you don't dry off with the towel.

- You don't fully cover the body.

You go head,

underarms and crotch?

- I towel off every square inch of my body.

- But with the blow dryer.

You don't like go up and down your legs with the blow dryer.

- No, only the hairiest areas need to be blow dried.

- Okay.

Do you blow dry your hair completely in that moment?

- Yeah.

- So you get your hair completely dry--

- I get it. - Before you style it?

- Now that my hair is a little longer, it helps.

I use less pomade that way.

- You know that I recently,

not recently but like in the past--

- Mythical Pomade, I might add.

- Year and a half to two years,

basically, all my adult life,

I had blow dried my hair as I was,

I mean, ever since the hair's gone up

which is for a decade or whatever.

I blow dried or is it blew dried?

- Blew dried.

- What verb do you conjugate when in blow dry?

Blown dried?

- Blown dried, yeah.

- I've blown dried my hair for a decade

and then I decided to stop--

- Dry blown.

- Doing that and instead, I towel dry the hair

just a little bit and then I put the pomade,

I put the Mythical Pomade in my hair

while it is wet and let it air dry.

- I've been there.

- And that creates more activity in my hair,

more interest, more of a wave

but then I have to sometimes

even pay more attention to my hair after I get to work

'cause it's like it's dry

and then I gotta fiddle with it again

and that's kind of pain, by the way.

- If you want height, you want your hair to be drier

when you apply product.

I'm not saying fully dry.

- But if you want interest and activity.

- Yeah, you might wanna stay, you might wanna--

- Stay away from the blow dryer.

I have touched a blow dryer in years.

- I'll give you all the lint--

- 18 months, actually. - From my blow dryer

and you can deposit it in the back of your blow dryer

then use it.

- Well, I kind of--

- It will be so inadequate.

- My wife got the Dyson that,

I don't know where the filter is.

In fact, it seems like--

- That's a $5,000 blow dryer.

- It seems like magic.

It's just a circle.

It's the same thing that Anna uses here.

- I'm kind of jealous.

- She's using one of those.

- It's not $5,000 but that is the most expensive--

- It is an expensive hairdryer.

- I've been thinking about getting one because--

- Well, you can't put a toothbrush in it,

I'll tell you that much.

Don't try that.

- So-- - Well, we can keep talking

about this for a while. - Look, #EarBiscuits.

Let me know how much better your life is

now that your hairdryer has been brushed.

- And we are gonna talk about our fire and ice vacations

but first, we're gonna let you know that you can pick up

Link's very meta Ear Biscuits shirt

that he's wearing while making an Ear Biscuit


- Man, we got Ear Biscuits on everything.

We got it on the sign, we get it on my chest,

we got it on my,

what's this, dinnerware?

- Well, you can put it,

you can usually just call it drinkware.

- Drinkware.

- But you could have it at dinner, I guess.

- Also Mythical Pomade, pick that up

and Mythical hair dryers.

- We don't have those yet but maybe we should.

Let's compete directly with Dyson.

That sounds like a great business strategy.

Okay, so how we wanna do this?

- I mean, I could talk more about hair dryers.

I had a idea for a hair dryer this exclusively for men.

I know that sounds sexist

but that's what marketing is just who do.

- Who do?

- Like BS.

Like a man and a woman's hair dryer need not be different.

I mean my wife and I, not to my knowledge,

but in in fact trueness, do use the same hair dryer.

- But--

- Men and women can use the same hair dryer

but I do think--

- But if you convince men and women

that they need to have different hair dryers,

like they've convinced women

that they have to have a different razor.

They've done that.

They convinced them.

They did it.

- They've convinced men that they have to have

different hair dye.

- Right, oh, yeah.

- Just for men.

- Yeah, you got it. - Not for women!

- Your hair is different.


- Unnaturally dark for way too long

and you need to get a grip.

- Yeah, I mean, they've done that very successfully.

- Right, we can do that with a hair dryer.

- Right. - It's called the Bro Dryer.

- They've convinced women that they have to have a razor.

- Did you hear that?

- [Rhett And Link] The Bro Dryer.

- That's good.

- Well, I don't--

- I just made that up, man.

- I think it's great marketing,

I don't wanna feed into it though.

- Yeah.

- I don't wanna feed into making men and women

think that they have to have different products

to serve the same purpose.

Woman don't need--

- It's got a pair of testicles hanging from it.

No, that's, it's got a beard hanging from it.

- A bulbous pink thing that looks like an alien

remote control in order to shave their legs.

They don't need that.

- That's right.

That's right.

But they men needed their own blow dryer.

- I do like that Bro Dryer idea.

- Gets the job done.

The Bro Dryer, gets the job done.

That's the slogan.

- Yeah, come to think of it, I did just,

on Instagram, buy

a shaver.

- What?

- That is intended for manscaping.

- Okay, only, not womanscaping.

You can't scape a woman with it.

- Right, but it's like, you don't need that.

- I loved watching you.

- It's just like everything that--

- The silence if you were gonna share this,

that like you had fallen for your own tricks.

- And then, there's a,

they sent me these wipes.

- Men wipes?

- And it said ball wipes on them.

- Oh, gosh, seriously?

- Yeah, I was like, what?

Wipe my balls?

I don't really.

- What?

- Yeah, I haven't opened them.

- Can I borrow a few?

- Okay.

- We gotta test that out.

- Let's talk about this, bro.

- So you went to Mammoth.

- I went to Mammoth Mountain.

- We teased all these, I mean, so, in the last episode.

People already knew you when to Mammonth.

- So, I'll just get right to it.

Fire and ice, it's never been more fitting

because speaking of ice,

I know I think I said this

in a tweet or an Instagram or something, I don't know.

Between-- - It's never as fresh

as is this about to be.

- Between the week,

so the weekend before I got to Mammoth to ski,

they received 11 feet of snow.

- They received it.

- They received it.

- Now, 11 feet is a crap-ton of snow.

- That's an unbelievable amount of snow.

- I mean we're talking like basketball backboard height.

- Halfway up the backboard.

Now, the weekend I was there.

- Like Rodney Monroe would have trouble with that.

- They received another four feet of snow.

So, by the time all was said and done, 15 feet of snow.

- Wow.

- And I was--

- Well, at least it's good to know

that global warming isn't a thing.

There's nothing.

You know, forget about climate change.

- I see where you're going with that, Link, mm-hmm.

Link's being sarcastic.

Link understands the difference between climate and weather

unlike some people who tweet quite a bit about that.

- I'm pushing Rhett's button right now.

- So, I was nervous about the trip

because we had to leave for London

which we'll talk about next week.


We had to leave for London the day after I got back.

Like the morning after I got back.

- Yeah.

- And--

- If you get back, I mean with 12, 11 feet of snow.

- When I knew this other storm was coming in

and I was just like and then I was talking to

someone, I don't know who, I can't remember who was

but they were they were like,

last time I went to Mammoth, I got snowed in.

In fact, last couple of times I went to Mammoth,

I've gotten snowed in.

I was like, I can't miss, I can't not go to London.

And so I'm beginning to worry and I wanna be very prepared.

Now, I know that

once you go up into the mountains a lot of times,

chains will be required for your tires.

Now, in previous trips to Mammoth and Big Bear,

we've had to have chains for the tires in the car,

like carrying chains is required in the winter

if you're gonna go to these mountainous regions, right?

And I am assuming that applies to lots of places

around the country around the world.

But I've never had to apply them.

And this is one of those moments where it's like

dad mode engaged.

- Oh.

- You know what I mean?

And I'm like okay, it is possible that I go up there

and I get to a spot in the road

and they've got a sign that says chains required

and at that point, I got to put the chains on the tires

and so I feel like I got to practice.

- Okay, so you bought the chains.

- Well, so, turns out that the chains that I had

weren't quite the right size.

I put them on

two nights before. - They were for,

for your previous car, you owned them

or you ordered the wrong ones?

- I think that Jessie had gone to--

- Throwing Jessie under the bus.

- No, no, she went and told him what kind of car we had

and then they gave us the chains at like an AutoZone

or something like that and they just gave us the wrong ones.

So, it wasn't AutoZone.

I don't know what it was.

I don't wanna throw any particular chain under the bus.



But the, get it?

But it was--

- Oh, yeah.

- I don't think she said this is exactly the size of tire.

So, it probably would have worked but then,

when I called my local place after I put these ones on.

- You were in your driveway, you were like at home

putting on the chains? - I'm in a driveway.

- Practicing, and they were too big?

- They're a little bit too big.

How would you?

Would you have known?

- I wouldn't have known if they were too big.

- How would you have guessed that the chains

go onto your tires?

- You lay it out, you drive on it.

- Exactly. - And you pick it up

like a diaper on a baby and you link it on the outside.

- Not how it happens.

That's what I thought it would have been too.

You do not, you do not drive onto it.

You take it, at least the one that I got,

the car is stationary and you drape the chain over the tire.

- Okay.

- And then you reach around the bottom,

fasten and then you come around the top,

around the front and fasten

and then there's like a tensioner that tightens it

and then they give you this extra thing

that's like a bungee cord with hooks on it

and grabs the ring that's on this side

of the outside of the tire and kind of (zipping),

tightens everything down.

It's actually, and I'm sure there's other ones

that go on differently but it's remarkably easy.

I got the kind that--

- But you could tell that it was too big.

- Yeah, but then I went and got the right ones

and practiced again and I was like, I think I can do this.

- Oh, wow, that was the time that you spent,

that you could have been putting on my carrier

that you refused and I'm still kind of sour about.

- I'm glad I didn't take their carrier

because the place I stayed, the clearance for parking

was six foot eight and my car

would have been too tall with the carrier.

- Okay, well that's good for both of us.

- I would have just taken your carrier

and I would have just set it in the snow somewhere.

It would have gotten four feet on top of it

and it would still be in Mammoth under snow.

So, you're welcome for not taking your carrier.

I get up to Mammoth and I started to see that lots of snow,

like it went from no snow, like, I don't know--

- I can't imagine 11 feet of snow.

- If you ever driven up, you never driven up there?

- No, never been up there.

- So, you drive through this thing called the Owens Valley

which is there's all this history of the Owens Valley

and how there was this giant lake up there

and then Mulholland who Mulholland Drive is named after

and lots of things in LA are named after.

Like I've--

- Owen Wilson's hanging out up there, Terrell Owens.

- This guy owned or worked for the LADWP,

Department of Water and Power

and then he bought a bunch of land,

all the privately available land in this valley

and that gave him the water rights

to this giant lake that they basically drained

and this is where LA got a bunch of its water from

and now, all this water that comes into this valley

is pumped to Los Angeles.

It's quite interesting if you're interested

in the history of the water of Los Angeles.

- That's another podcast, so.

- But anyway, the trip up there

is just this desolate nothingness

with a couple of towns that you come to,

like it could be a town and it'll be like 50 miles

and nothing except just these mountain ranges on each side.

We went through--

- But beautiful.

- Beautiful, absolutely beautiful.

You know Lone Pine.

You probably heard of this town.

There's been like a hundred movie shot in Lone Pine

including Django Unchained

and a bunch of other ones that you've heard of.

- Uh-huh. - And the mountains

right outside of Lone Pine looked,

I kind of looked at,

I was like that looks like the Himalayas

like the way that,

it was these rocky mountains, just straight rocks

with snow on them

and then I started reading about it on my phone

once I was up at Mammoth, they were like,

often filmmakers used the mountains outside of Lone Pine

to pass for the Himalayas in low-budget movies.

I was like, ha!

- Didn't you feel validated? - Yahoo!

That's right, buddy.

- You felt low-budget validated.

- Anyway, we get very close to Mammoth

and I see the sign, chains required

and my heart rate goes up a little bit.

- Yeah, yeah.

- I'm like this is the moment of truth.

I've got to pull off to the side of the road.

Keep in mind that not only are they getting snow

but it's seven degrees.

- Ooh.

Was it snowing at Des Moines at that time?

- It was just a teeny bit of snow was starting.

- Was there's snow on the street?

- No snow on the ground.

First of all, I wasn't all the way to Mammoth and so,

the machines they have that get the snow off of the road,

it's absolutely amazing how efficient they are

at getting mounds and mounds of snow off of the road

and then of course because they sawed the road,

there was nothing on the road, it was completely dry

but it was like preemptively putting on chains.

- Okay.

- Some people weren't stopping, some people,

I found out later why some people were continuing to go

but I pull over, I was so prepared, I had a headlamp.

- Was it night?

- It was already dark. - Or you just

wanted to wear a headlamp because you had it.

- I had a headlamp, I had another little light

that I put under the car, I had a tarp or a tarpaulin

is the full name for that.

- You got tarpaulin.

- Yeah, so you'd get down on the ground.

- You laid out a blanket for yourself?

- I'd added so hard on the tarp.

- Look, take a picture of me laying out on a tarp.

- And there's people going--

- Get my headlamp.

- Going past me, you know?

And I'm out there on the tarp and reaching around

and clamping it down and hoping that I'm not endangering

the lives of my children and wife.

- That guy doesn't use a Bro Dryer.

- I eventually got it on there.

- Sticks his head out the window of his Harley.

- And then I get back into the car

and I start driving down the dry pavement

with the chains on the tires.

- That can't be good.

- And then I'm like, where's the snow?

Like, I don't feel right about this.

I'm like, Jessie Google how fast,

I was going like 40.

I was like Google how fast you should go

with chains on your tires on dry pavement.

- What did it feel like?

(imitating rattling)

- It that was crazy but when you get to a certain speed,

it kind of just all blends together

and it just kind of becomes this low hum.

- I mean just literally, your rubber tires

are wrapped in chains, that's crazy.

- Anyway, 20 to 30.

- 30 miles per hour?

- And so I slowed it down.

It took like 45 minutes to go the last like 10 miles

and eventually once we got to Mammoth,

there's still no snow.

Like very little snow on,

there's a couple of icy patches or whatever

but chains were still required but once you got into town,

that was when they had taken,

it was like driving through a corn maze

but the corn was snow.

- Wow. - So like,

you can't see anything except these huge snowbanks.

- Like shops?

- Everywhere.

Like, I don't know how they so quickly

got access to everything.

Like, every parking lot, and every restaurant

and every shop was completely cleared

but they had just moved all the snow

and snow obviously compacts a whole lot

like if you've got 11 feet of snow, 15 feet of snow,

that's just falling fresh,

you can squish all that down into,

I don't know, a couple of feet.

- But they probably had salted it so the stuff melted.

It wasn't like they had to push it.

- The road was still dry but you were driving

through this corn maze of snow.

- Did you take photos of this?

- No.

- Now, was anybody else driving with chains?

- Yeah, once I got into town, everybody had them on.

- Everybody? - 'Cause it was--

- You're validated.

- It was required.

- 'Cause you were thinking maybe I should pull over

and take them back off and that would be admitting defeat.

- Yeah, but it was just one of those moments

where I was just--

- Dads don't do that.

- I could have paid, in fact, there were dudes out there.

- Dad don't defeat.

- Charging $40 for to put the chains on for you.

- Just to put them on?

- They didn't have chains.

They just had the service.

- And tarpaulin 'em, probably.

- Yeah, and they were like dressed like firemen

which I found interesting and ironic

considering you're on a fire vacation.

- Right, so we.

All right, so we got you to Mammoth, let's get me to Cabo.

Now, I went to a place that I've been three years earlier.

Christy and I went to this place.

I'll give a shout out to The Cape.

I really enjoy it.

It's a nice spot.

- I've been there once.

- Not a sponsor, I recommended it to you and you went.

And then I decided I was gonna go back and I did.

Of course, when you went back a few months back,

you didn't go back to the same place.

You went to a different place.

- Nothing against The Cape.

- Northing against The Cape but for me,

it's like I knew what I was gonna get

and I wanted more of it.

- I'm always up for a new thing.

I just wanted to try something.

- Yeah, sometimes I want the same thing.

- And if I hadn't had tried something new,

I wouldn't have gotten Gary

to take that frickin' picture of me in my watermelon outfit.

- Which brought me back to Instagram.

- Yeah, so again.

- I'm not faulting you. - You should be happy.

- There's a little different psychology here

between the two of us.

First of all, it was a shorter,

it was just a short, well, a longer weekend

so a shorter vacation, wasn't like a whole week

so I just wanted to have this relaxing poolside place,

place that I was gonna go to and I could count on it

because I only had a couple of days to make the most of it.

It started out much better

'cause the previous time that we went,

we were flying down there and we were getting on the plane

and the first class was already on

and we had some friends, I'll call him acquaintances,

well, let's call him friends, people who knew us.

You know, like hey, recognize us and we went back

and once we got in the air,

they sent back some champagne to us.

The flight attendant came up and said

this is from your friends in first class

and they gave us champagne or mimosas or something.

- Who friends?

- It was,

Ran and you know it was them.

- Oh.

- So, anyway, we drink the champagne

and I think there was this weird interaction.

I don't know for sure but I think that Christy

had taken an anxiety medication

because she has problems with flying.

- Yes.

- And then by the time we got off the plane,

she's not feeling great and then we had to take this taxi,

it's like a 25-minute drive

so we're like taking a taxi to the place and like,

she's not looking like she feels great.

- This vacation's not starting great, fire vacation.

Fire alarm.

- And literally, when we pulled up to the place

and they like open the door and they're like hello,

welcome to the resort,

like grand entrance type welcome situation

and it's a beautiful place

like right when you walk up to check-in,

you're like looking out over the beach and it's amazing

and as I'm walking up,

Christy's like I've got to find a bathroom

and like she bolts past me

and like I'm taking in this wonderful view

and I just had this image of Christy

like sprinting past me, sprinting past the reception area,

turns out she asked them where's the nearest restroom

but I feel so far ahead of me,

it just looked like she didn't even stop.

She just disappears.

She eventually comes out until she'd found a bathroom,

she was like throwing up in the bathroom and stuff

and then she had to go up to the,

right, we checked into the room,

she had to like lay down for two hours.

It's a horrible beginning of that vacation.

After that, everything got a lot better for her.

- Well, that's one way to see it.

You start that low, you're gonna have a good time.

- Maybe I threw her under the bus

with this whole medication champagne thing

but that's what happened and then so,

this time, we didn't make any of those mistakes.

We get there and everything was good

so we got there all in one piece.

I mean the theme of my vacation

was I don't wanna see no mountains, I wanna see no snow,

I don't wanna do anything active like skiing.

I wanted to do the opposite of you.

I wanted to lay flat on the sand,

take one picture for Instagram

and I wanna lay flat on a lounger,

drink some drinks, read some books, be with my lovely wife.

And that's it and mission accomplished, man.

It was great.

Especially because it didn't start off

with her sprinting past me.

There was no sprinting to any restrooms.

So, that's now my like measurement of success.

For you, it's did I actually need the chains?

- Did you have a photo shoot?

- No photo shoot.

Didn't need it.

Again, I got my picture.

I got my picture, I splayed out.

- Well, my vacation was definitely very active.

My intention in going on this trip

was this is family practice for our spring break vacation

which is also skiing, a week of skiing.

- You're really doubling down on skiing.

Like this is--

- Well, this is the year of trying it.

I talked about this when we did our top moments of 2018

and remember, skiing as a family was--

- Yeah.

- One of my top 10.

And so, I really wanna enjoy that week

and there's a little bit of a dad

kind of making everybody do this element to the skiing thing

'cause Jessie, she can ski

but she got hurt last time she went

and she's just like I'm just gonna go and I'm gonna read

and that's what she's gonna do when we go to spring break.

She's actually looking forward to just relaxing and--

- Lodging it up.

- Yeah, and so,

but I was like okay, so this is basically about me

kind of getting the kids a little bit better

so they can really enjoy and also so they can,

we can all kind of keep up with each other.

So Shepherd can keep up with with me and Locke

and I'm no expert so I don't and I keep it pretty slow

but Locke sprained his ankle three days before we left.

- Like bad?

Enough that he couldn't ski.

- Yeah, I mean, it's still,

he wouldn't be able to ski right now.

He gonna be well just when we're going--

- Oh, wow.

- To Colorado and at that point,

he may get re-injured, who knows?

Hopefully not.

- Well, what's he like?

Were you there when,

is he injured in a game or something?

- Yeah, a basketball practice, it wasn't a game.

Basketball practice.

- Was he like wallowing around on the ground?

- I wasn't there.

I just knew that he thought he had broken it.

It was a like a bad sprain.

Like one of those, it like stays with you for a while

and sometimes bad sprains can be worse than breaks

but it's not that bad, it's not like a high sprain,

I think it's a low sprain.

- Did you ask him if he cried?

- No, I think he said he wanted to.

He was like it hurt so bad I wanted to cry.

- Yeah.

- But McLaughlins, we don't cry.

- Oh, gosh.

And we don't take the chains off once we put them on.

That's not healthy, man, you need to pass along some--

- Well, I think you should be able to cry.

- I know you're joking.

- I think you should be able to cry from feelings,

emotional feelings but physical hurt.

- Physical pain.

- I think you got to keep the tears inside.

I think that's,

especially at 14.

- I'm a little. (laughs)

- You're almost a man.

- Well, I'm concerned about,

okay, so it's just you and Shepherd out there

but 11 feet of snow, I know that that, at a certain point,

it gets a lot more difficult to ski.

- Yeah, well, it had gotten that and I, recently--

- 'Cause when we went the first time,

the last time we went with our friend Eric--

- It was Park City.

- I was still snowboarding, you were trying to ski.

You had switched over.

- Anyway, we were currently,

that's the story where I lost my phone in the blizzard.

- Oh, yeah. - I probably have told that

but it was very similar to that

that if skiing and powder and fresh powder snow

is a completely different experience

especially when you really,

I transitioned into skiing last year or two years ago, so.

It was very difficult when I got into the place

and I will tell you exactly how difficult it was

when I got to the top of the mountain

but I recently upped the douche factor in my life.

You know I'm always trying to do that a little bit.

- I didn't know you had any more margin.

- By getting my own custom fitting ski boots.

- What?

- I mean I'm getting into this at this point

and you go and you rent the,

my feet are done growing, right?

- One bigger than the other, we're talking about that.

- Right, and you go and you rent

and you never know what you're gonna get

and you never know what's gonna end up hurting

while you're out there and there's everybody's like,

you got to get the custom fitting boots

and there's a custom insert

so I went to this place in Studio City,

I can't remember the name of it but I highly recommend

the ski boot fitting place in Studio City

and the guy spends time with you and you take your shoes off

and he like put your foot in this mold

and he makes basically a custom insert

to go into this thing and picks the right boot for you

based on your foot shape.

- Was that like I'm mold?

Like they poured something around your foot?

- No, they don't pour it.

You put your foot into this like--

- Slime.

- Inflatable, almost like

memory foam-ish type pad and you press down

and the weird vacuuming thing is taking place

and then you bring your foot off of it

and your footprint is completely stuck,

so it's really the bottom of your foot

and then with the sides of your foot,

he gets in a different way.

I don't know, it takes like an hour and a half.

It's pretty high-tech stuff.

- So did you experience

the benefit of that? - Nirvana?

Skiing nirvana?

- Foot nirvana.

- Yes.

- It was dramatically better?

- When your foot is,

the thing that most people don't realize

and I was one of these people is that your ski boots

should be much tighter than you think it should be

so that your foot is, any movement inside the boot

is being immediately transferred into leverage.

You know what I'm saying?

Because it's a little bit loose,

you move your leg and then you hit the side of the boot

and so if you really want the response,

if you're just, if you're like a near expert

downhill skier like I am.

So, it might be a little overkill

because I'm definitely not an expert, that was sarcasm.

I am a, 100% of the time, thinking don't get hurt,

don't get hurt, don't get hurt, don't get hurt,

don't get hurt, don't get hurt, don't get hurt

even while I'm having a great time.

I never lose that don't get hurt, don't get hurt

and I've learned that,

I don't think that's what a lot the people

going down the mountains are thinking about.

I think they're thinking about, oh, that looks cool, do that

and I'm thinking don't get hurt.

- That looks cool, do that.

- But--

- I was thinking where did my menu go?

Like I was gonna order like some fish tacos

but I cannot find a menu, where's the waiter?

Oh, there he is.

Oh, here's the menu.

It's like that was kind of the adversity that I faced.

- Well, I had--

- Oh, I faced a little adversity.

- Okay, well, I had a moment of what I thought

could be near death.

So you want me to save that?

I'll save it, actually.

- I had a near-death experience.

- Okay.

- I got a massage.

We always give our massage updates.

We probably talked about massages more than anything.

And blow dryers starting to,

it's starting to fight for that position,

for me at least but--

- These are the things you look forward to

as your body left to age.

- I told her that my hip flexors really messed up

ever since I kicked that soccer ball in Thanksgiving.

And I was like go hard or go home but don't go home

so you know what that means and of course--

- You told her to go hard.

- And then I like,

I said right here, it's really hurting

like I was pointing like where my hip flexor,

right where the top of my femur hits my thigh,

or hits my pelvis.

And I'll tell you right now, she was stretching me out.

Of course I was naked under the sheet

so it's like she had this way to like take the sheet

and Christy was also in there with another masseuse.

It was like a couples massage thing

but she would turn me over on my side

and like pick my leg up like trying to stretch it

but she'd wrapped the sheet like I was wrapping a baby

in a cloth diaper.

Like that's what she was doing to me.

- Yeah.

- But at certain points, my entire butt cheek was exposed

and like my knee was being pushed up across my body.

- That's the best part of the massage though.

- It hurt really badly because of this injury I have

and I don't know if she made it better because still hurting

but well, I'll put it to you this way.

You know how when you're grilling chickens

and if you like, if you've only cut the dark meat

separate from the white meat so you've got like a thigh

and a leg that's still together

and then you wanna know if it's done

but if you're a little anxious to get it on the table

and everyone's eating 'cause it's getting a little late

and everybody's hungry and they're like dad,

where's the chicken?

If you take it off a little early.

- Never do that.

- So you don't get that, when you grab the chicken leg,

you can break it from the thigh.

- It's got a little give.

- And then you're sitting there grabbing the chicken leg

and before you know it,

you're like ham-fisted grabbing your thigh

with one hand and the chicken leg with the other hand

and you're just wrenching them apart

to try to pull apart and have a leg experience

separate from a thigh experience.

- Gotta be careful with that though.

- And you're just (imitating creaking).

Just trying to get the part-- - Just pull the bone

all the way out.

- Right, you'll get the thigh bone out of all the thigh meat

stuck to the end of the drumstick.

- Oh, I was thinking the opposite.

Sometimes, you pull the drumstick right out of the thigh.

- Either way, it's not good when the analogy is to my body.

I felt sure that was gonna happen.

- I doubt that she could pull it out.

- I mean it was like,

I was just having imagery of that Mortal Kombat

finishing move where like it got pulls the head

and the spine out of the body.

It's like, she's gonna pull my leg.

- Did you make any grunts or did you make any signals that--

- I was breathing so heavily-- - She's going too far.

- That Christy told me afterward

that she almost asked me to be quiet.

Like she didn't ask me

are you okay? - You were ruining

her massage.

- She wasn't gonna ask, are you okay?

(Rhett grunting)

She was gonna ask, can you be quiet?

She's like, why are you breathing so loud?

I looked over, I was just like, did you see me in my diaper?

- 'Cause you were in pain.

- I love the pain but I got a go to physical therapy

for this thing.

- Still hurts?

- Yes, still hurts.

That's my near-death experience.

Top that.

- Okay, so, because it was snowing so much--

- Next time you eat a chicken leg, think of me.

- And because it was so windy,

the top of the mountain was closed for a couple of reason.

Like, they're worried about visibility and avalanches

and wind gusts, like the wind gusts

at the top of the mountain were over 50 miles per hour

and so they're very like hesitant to open up the mountain

but I'm with my friend Ralph who is from Switzerland.

- Yeah, he's Swiss.

- And so this guy like,

well, they come out of the womb with skis on,

you know what I'm saying?

- They know how to point them.

Toes first.

- And it's really difficult if you come out headfirst

and you then you've got skis on.

You have to use the forceps, it's very difficult

but they come out of the womb

and they just go right down the mountain.

They learn to ski before they can walk.

So it's a little intimidating--

- All pregnant women give birth at the top of slopes.

- Right, well, you're always on a slope.

And so the--

- And the cheese is holy.

- I'm a little intimidated.

You know me, like if--

- Well I know you, you didn't say anything.

- Right, so when Ralph's like, oh, they opened up

lifts so and so.

- And you're like (mumbling).

- And he knows the whole mountain.

- I'm not saying anything out loud.

- And he's like you wanna go?

And I'm like, uh, yeah.

I'm not gonna say no.

- Right.

- Again, there's something in me that I can't say no.

- The chains are on the tires.

- I can't say no.

You challenge me to do something, I'm gonna get on the lift

even though the whole time I'm thinking, I'm not equipped.

I'm not equipped for this.

- Something in you.

- I don't know what I will encounter at the top

because I don't know if you've established it,

not an expert, I don't handle

the double black diamonds very well.

- Well, going all the way to the top

gives you much more opportunity to constantly think

don't hurt yourself, don't hurt yourself.

- So, first of all, let me just remind you how cold it was.

So we're talking about like minus 15, minus 20 windchill

because you're getting to the top of the mountain

and you got these wind gusts and I like fully prepared.

I mean I was like double thermals,

and I'm not talking like thermals Walmart thermals,

I'm talking about like Patagonia expensive--

- Oh, gosh. - High tech thermals.

- Stop bragging about all those--

- No, no.

- Equipment you've been buying.

- No, I'm explaining how warm I was.

- It's the type that when you look at the liner,

it looks like aluminum foil.

- The kind that have like special loops for your thumbs

to like keep it really tight on your wrist

and then I've got some high-tech glove liners

underneath my gloves.

I have this crazy thing that's,

I have a helmet, of course, but underneath my helmet,

it's a ski mask that magnetically fastens over my face

like this it has a little hole for your nose

and then the only thing showing is your eyes

because it goes up under your helmet and so then,

there was literally no skin exposed.

No skin exposed whatsoever and I'm going up this lift.

A, freaking out. - What is the logo

for douche brand?

- First of all, let me explain.

Every single person on the mountain looks like me.

So, I wasn't standing out at all.

And when it's this cold,

if you don't have the proper equipment,

you're going to suffer greatly because I was--

- Well, you could die.

- I did have the right equipment

and I was already freezing with glove liners and gloves.

By the time I got to the top, I couldn't feel my fingers.

- Sounds like fun.

- So we get off at the top and--

- You hadn't even almost died yet.

- It has picked, the wind has picked up,

the snow has picked up, I could see nothing.

Like it was just complete whiteout up there

and like I'm like, Ralph!

- But they don't let you back down like that.

- Continue listening, friend.

So we go down and there's this,

I get up there and at this point, I'm like,

Ralph, I don't know if I can do this.

He's like, just come with me.

And we go down this little incline

and then we get to a place where

we kind of have to make a decision

and we're not gonna go down the crazy, crazy,

it says experts only.

- He says I won't take you down that.

We go down, there's another option and I see people going,

it hasn't been groomed

and it's just like two or three feet of powder

and people who look like they can ski and snowboard

are going off this thing and then immediately just falling

into the snow and like their skis are going,

you know how it is, when we were with Eric,

your snowboard or skis get in the powder

and then you've got to have somebody help you out.

- Yeah.

- And I was like, Ralph, if we go this way,

I'm gonna be like turning, falling, turning, falling

all the way down the mountain.

I was like, in an hour and a half,

I got to get Shepherd from his lesson

because he was doing a lesson that day.

I was like, honestly, I don't think it would be wise

and I don't wanna do this to you, I want you to enjoy it.

So what I'm gonna do is like you go ahead, I'm gonna go,

first of all, it's like we're on, what's the, Tatooine?

Yeah, I'm like yelling.

I'm like, I'm gonna go that,

it just the crazy wind and snow.

- You're talking about Hoth.

- Hoth, yeah.

- I was on Tatooine.

- Yeah, Tatooine, Hoth.

- I had a drink in my hand.

- And so I walk, I take my skis off

and begin walking back up to,

and of course, I had skied down to this,

I'd probably skied 75 yards but it takes no time to do that

walking back up the hill.

My boots were going into the snow up to my knees.

- Hold on, you were walking back to what?

- Back to this to the lift to tell the lift operator,

I wanna get on the lift and go down the lift

to get back down.

- Oh, good, good on you.

- But I start walking back up the hill and I'm like,

I don't think I'm going to be able to get to the lift.

- That's impossible.

- Because the snow was so deep.

And then I start breathing so hard that--

- Like where was it up, to your knees?

- Yeah, to my knees, but I kept going.

It took a very long time to get back to the lift

and I get to lift, there's nobody there

but there's a little house with like someone in it,

like either the operator or whatever.

- Are you visibly crying at this point?

'Cause that would help.

- I'm getting close but you can't even tell who I am

which at this point, I'm very happy about.

- Okay.

- You can't identify me at all.

So, I go up to, and first of all,

there's so much snow that you--

- You don't care about dying,

you really care most about not being identified

while almost dying.

- You can't even get into the thing

so I'm like waving at this girl who is inside--

- A cottage.

- Just the cottage and she comes out and she opens the door

and has this annoyed look on her face.

Just right from the start and I'm like,

yeah, I think maybe I've gotten in over my head.


- Hey.

- And I'm like my friend taught me to come up here

and I'm not sure I can get down.


- I love it.

I love it.

- And she says, and I'm like,

is there any way that I can get on the lift

and go back down?

And she's like, no!

- No?

And she slammed the cottage door.

- And I'm like but what do I do?

And she's like just go back the way you came

and just stay straight.

Take it slow, you'll be fine.

And now I'm like, Ralph is gone.

My buddy in the buddy system--

- He's gone.

- Is gone and so now I'm gonna have to be

getting assistance from strangers

and by the way, the wind has picked up.

She's like on the radio like saying,

we might have to shut it down

like there's not gonna be anybody to take me down.

Every time people are coming up,

they're falling off of the lift because the thing is,

the crazy wind is going,

so now I'm thinking, I'm gonna go down the mountain.

I'm already freezing.

I'm gonna get stuck.

I'm going to be a popsicle in the morning.

This is it.

- You're gonna be preserved.

- I'm going to freeze on top of the mountain.

So, I go back to where we had to make the decision

which way to go.

- Did you say, thanks?

- At that point again, I'm dealing with my pride

the whole time.

Like, I can't, I'm not.

But at that point, when she's like you can't do it,

you've got to go, I'm like, well, I guess I had to do it.

At that point, there's no option.

So, I go back and at this point,

I'm asking everyone to make sure that I,

like literally every person,

like do you know the easiest way down?

Like I'm confirming like every seven feet,

is this the easiest way down?

And it turns out that the way Ralph went

was not the easiest way

and I would have been in real trouble

if I had gone where he did.

And it turned out that there was a slight,

the slight incline continued.

Again, I couldn't see.

Like you couldn't tell

if you were about to go off the side.

It was like very, very unsettling

and eventually, I got to,

through this whiteout area and then got into a place

where they had groomed the snow way up the mountain,

at that point I was able to get down.

I survived, man.

- I'm proud of you for,

for saying, you know what, I need help.

I can't do this.

But then, I don't feel great about what happened

because she kind of forced you to push through

and I kind of feel like the best thing for you

would have been for her to say something like,

okay, we're gonna take you down, you're gonna be safe

but we're gonna strip you nude

and we're gonna put a banner on it that says wuss.

And we're gonna kind of parade you in front of everybody.

Made it like a real painful emotional situation.

I feel like this became like a triumph that you survived,

a survival tale.

- I wouldn't call it a triumph.

If you had to witness that,

you would not have considered it a triumph.

- Okay, so you let you did learn a lesson?

- Yeah, I learned I'm not gonna listen to Ralph anymore

when he says to go up this,

go up the frickin' lift in those conditions.

- He's not your friend.

- But ultimately, I had an incredible time.

The second day, when it let up a little bit,

Shepherd was done with this lesson.

Me and him went out.

I got some of that on the Instagram Story.

Shout out, @rhettmc.

The McLaughlin boys, at least two of them

are taking the mountain by storm.

That's Shepherd.

Locke sprained his ankle.


- Got the good stuff.

- But like he's getting so much better

and he's like fearless and he's,

there's so much to know that there was literally,

like typically, when you go to a California ski resort,

there's snow on like this slope that you're on

but in like in the trees, there's not,

there was snow on every single square inch of the mountain

if you go absolutely anywhere.

We saw a dude as we were going up the gondola,

a guy who had gone down the side of the mountain at the top

and gotten stuck on the side of a cliff

and his snowboard was like

on two peaks and he was sitting there holding himself up

like at the top of a cliff

and ski patrol was trying to get down there

and like lower something to him to bring him back up.

- Like he had stopped inches short of going over a cliff?

- Yeah, like--

- And dying?

- People were going everywhere because snow is everywhere

and at the top of this mountain, it's like,

I'm talking like adventure ski

YouTube compilation level mountain at the top of this thing.

It's ridiculous.

- Crazy, man.

- But Shepherd is like going into the trees and doing,

he's a nut.

- Listen--

- He was having an incredible time.

- It reminds me of the pool at this resort I was.

- Right, yeah, yeah.

- I mean it started really shallow like getting,

oh, it's just ankle deep and then all of a sudden,

I'm walking, I'm walking, I'm like this is like knee deep

and then all of a sudden, whoa, boom!

- Over your head.

- There was a step and it was like up to my belly button.

- I've been in that pool.

- And then I kept walking and walking

and then before I knew it, bam!

I ran smack dab into a bar

on the other side of the pool that served drinks.

- Oh, really?

- Extreme, man.

Extreme stuff.

- Glad you made it out alive.

- Yeah.

- Did you get any help?

- Well, he made the drink for me.

I didn't even have to do it. - Okay, good, good.

- And then after I drank the drink,

I had to walk all the way back to my--

- Oh, you couldn't carry the drink through the pool,

you couldn't swim with the drink?

- I just elected to drink it all before I walk back.

Then the next night, we went into,

we went into town, well, in the afternoon

and there's this restaurant on the beach called,

it's highly recommended called The Office.

A beautiful place, like I mean there's all these seats

on the sand of the beach and then people are walking by

and you're like watching the sunset.

It's beautiful, I was like,

oh, put us right here on the edge of the beach.

- That's in like Downtown Cabo?

- Yeah, and--

- I miss that place.

- A little bit off of it.

A little bit south of like the Downtown area.

Ben recommended it 'cause he went down there

a few weeks ago.

- Because I would not recommend

the restaurant that I went to.

- Yeah, this one was good. - I'll tell you that.

- So, I'm like, oh put us right here

down at the edge of the beach, like right the first table

because they didn't wanna put us there

and it turns out there's a reason,

because once you sit down there,

it's like I'm getting a margarita

and Christy and I are taking some pictures

and just lovey-dovey in on each other,

just having a great old time.

And I'm looking out at the view and then all of a sudden,

people start walking up.

Guys, women, kids selling stuff, like blocking my view,

like cramping my style.

And I'm talking cotton candy.

- Yeah, I'm at a restaurant.

- I'm at a restaurant and the dude had like cotton candy

and then there's people with like making bracelets

and a guy comes up and he looks at me and he says,

he gave two signals.

He said do you want smoke or do you want blow?

And he did the thing with his mouth with the smoke

and they needed a thing with his nose for the blow.

And I'm like, I don't know exactly what you're referring to

about I think I do and no, we don't.

So, I didn't get any of that.

I already have a blow dryer.

- That's right, yeah.

- And I don't smoke.

It's not good for you.

- Both of those things covered.

- But then somebody came up.

This woman came up and she had all of these like,

I thought they were banners

'cause they each said something different.

One of them,

and then I'm like these are wearable.

They're like sashes.

You can like buy a sash and one of them said butt stuff.

They said all types of stuff, that's what one of them said.

And another one said bushy.

- Oh.

- I almost bought that one.

- Yeah.

- I thought that would be funny for my Instagram

but then I'm like I don't know what that means.

I looked at on Urban Dictionary

and bushy either means stuck-up or it could mean stupid

and I didn't really believe that's what it said.

I like wiped it out of my memory

and I texted Christy before we came in here.

I was like what did the banner say?

She said one of them said bushy.

And I was like, are you sure

that you're not misread it? - I think something

got lost in translation.

I mean I can think of some other things it means.

- I don't--

- But it's not the kind of thing you want in a sash for.

- But that's what urban,

well, they were all very irreverent type stuff

that like for some reason people would be compelled to buy

while in they're in Cabo.

- King of butt stuff.

- I don't--

- Do they give you a crown with it?

There's the king of butt stuff.

I wonder if he wants to blow.

- It's an interesting place down there, man.

- Yeah, it is.

- I didn't--

- Typically.

- I just wanted him to move.

I mean I'm eating--

- I'm currently buying something, man.

- Right.

- I am in the process of buying something.

Don't sell me something else right now.

- I would still recommend the restaurant

but I wouldn't recommend

going all the way down to the beach.

And then I remember Ben warning me about that

but I was so enamored by the beach that I forgot that.

Even they didn't wanna sit--

- And they know that.

- Yeah.

- They know that.

- Yeah.

Bushy beat.

- I'll say one last thing about the trip to Mammoth

and that is we're trying to figure out

what to do in the evenings.

The slopes closed like four or 4:30.

Sun goes down pretty early,

we would go out to eat right after that.

And, it's our two families kind of hanging out

so there's like nine of us total.

- May I recommend butt stuff?

- You can recommend that

but I'm not gonna take that recommendation.

- And I'm not trying to be weird.

I don't even know what that means.

It's just on a banner on Cabo, man.

- That's clear.

So, I was like what are we gonna do

and I think it may have been,

oh, we went on Netflix trying to figure out

what we're going to watch.

- Now, you got it.

- And they're promoting Monty Python and the Holy Grail

or it was like coming up and suggested

based on whoever's profile it was that we were using

which was the person who had stayed there before us

or maybe the owner, I don't know.

- Oh, okay.

- When you log in, you're like who's watching?

Kurt, Susan, Bill?

None of the above.

So we'll pick Kurt.

- Kurt with the K because that's risky.

- We're gonna screw Kurt's watching history.

But Ralph is like, let's watch Monty Python

and the Holy Grail with the kids

and see how the humor translates.

- Yeah.

- Which I thought was an excellent idea.

- Yeah, he's talking British, they're also talking like,

this is '70s.

- Yeah, 1974, I believe.

So, teenage kids go upstairs immediately out.

A little disappointed but,

so now, we have we've got the younger kids.

- Jessie's not in there?

- Jessie--

- Even more reading?

- Jessie and Heather are kind of half watching

but also like on the internet.

- Okay, yeah, yeah.

- They kinda doing that thing.

But Ralph and I and then Shepherd and Ian

are all committed to Monty Python.

And I'm watching them watch it

because I've seen this movie several times.

I'm reminded when I watch it just how,

A, how funny it is,

B, how it could never be made today.

- It's irreverent.

- It's very irreverent, politically incorrect.

- I've not watched it all in one sitting.

I've seen many scenes from it.

- Well, the next night we watched Life of Brian

which is significantly more irreverent

and politically incorrect, it was made in '79, so,

I'm not sure when the other one was made

but because there's like three in that series, right?

But anyway, the kids were like looking at each other

giggling, laughing.

Like all the talk about the African swallow

or the European swallow.

All these, first of all, you just remember how many things

in comedy are kind of based on the way

that these guys thought.

- Yeah.

- And the way they presented things,

how many memes there are based on this

and just especially the Holy Grail

is this scene after scene that you could sort of see

the way that they thought about this like we're gonna go

and then there's gonna be this interaction

which is based on this that we think will be funny.

The Knights Who Say Ni or whatever and like,

like very simple devices

that were just kind of running to the ground

in very satisfying ways,

the kids were completely into it the whole time

which was crazy to me.

But then we watched the Life of Brian the next night

and they they push things a little bit further by the time

Life or Brian came out.

And so sort of inadvertently showed

our youngest kids a naked woman on screen

for the first time so this gave them that experience.

- Your Swiss friend, I'm sure didn't care.

- No, of course not.

- In Switzerland--

- Everybody's naked there.

- Right.

- So it wasn't a big deal.

- A lot of snow and a lot of nakedness, it doesn't add up.

- But there's this moment where Brian's girlfriend.

Well, not really a girlfriend, just sort of a hookup,

is really how to describe it.

She's naked and I saw it and I was like,

you know, how do I react in this moment?

Because I could do the thing where I act like,

oh, Shepherd, cover your eyes!

Which in my mind is communicating,

oh, there's a woman's body, you should be afraid of it.

So, I was like I'm not gonna do that.

I'm not gonna overreact.

So I just kinda sat there and I just sort of looked at him.

- You looked at him?

- I just looked at him

and he just had this smile on his face, like.

- Like a guilty smile?

Like whoops.

- Like no, I'm not supposed to see that.

And it was over before he knew it and,

the next day,

I asked him what he thought about it.

And he was like, it was weird.


- The whole movie or that moment?

- That moment.

- Oh.

- But anyway, they actually,

if you're if you're gonna watch one of them

with your small children,

I might recommend the Holy Grail instead of Life of Brian.

Life of Brian also is just

a little more, the jokes are not as simple.

- Well, I don't know because I haven't seen all of it.

- On all different level.

- You know, Shepard got Lando to watch a movie

that then we left your house so we couldn't finish watching.

So, yesterday morning, in order to get him to leave

without the movie being over,

I told him that I'd watch it with him.

And it was The Pink Panther.

- Original?

- No, not the original, that was with Peter Sellers.

This was Pink Panther with--

- Steve Martin?

- Steve Martin which is the remake

from the '90s.

I'd never seen it.

- It's since been remade again, right?

- I don't know but he,

he came up first thing in the morning,

got in the bed with me and Christy

and looks at me and he's like you ready to watch the movie?

And I'm like, oh yeah, I did promise that.

So, like first thing--

- Oh, to finish the movie?

- Yesterday morning, no, we started it over and,

have you seen it?

- I'm not sure.

- It was really funny, man.

I mean I've been deprived of a lot of comedy

and I realized that like,

I didn't think I would find it funny

because it's like a lot of slapstick and it's very,

but there's a whole layer of smart

baked into how this thing was written.

Now, it only got 21% on Rotten Tomatoes

but you know what, I'm taking back what I said

when it comes to comedy, probably horror too,

it's not reliable.

I think that at least the first half of that movie

is if you're in the right frame of mind

and you take it for what it is, it's very funny.

It is very smart the way that they have executed

something that is so,

well, not stupid but oblivious, this character.

Very funny, man, I highly recommend it.

We had a blast, the two of us just cackling.

And it's all credit Shepherd for that.

- Oh, he's a great

movie critic. - He loved that movie.

2006, thanks, Jenna, so yeah, it came out.

So yeah, not even in the '90s.

That was a sequel

that we haven't watched yet but maybe we'll watch that.

That's not our recommendations, though.

Should we go to that?

Let's put a capper on what we've learned from our vacations.

Fire and ice.

Check your ego at the door.

- Well, again, my mission,

your mission was to relax, my mission was to prepare

for a longer trip and I was a little bit worried about like,

it's so cold, it was difficult conditions,

great conditions but difficult conditions,

is Shepard going to be,

kids at that age, they can go one of two ways.

They can sort of recoil from it

and sort of go into themselves and then you're like oh, crap

I've already paid for this week long vacation in Colorado

and now, I'm the only one that wants to do it.

When we left the mountain on the last day,

Shepherd was like, do we have to leave?

One more run, dad.

And so he's on board.

He was he was the one that I was worried about, right?

- That's good.

I mean you did sweeten the deal with the topless woman.

- Right, now he just thinks

that every time we go to the mountains,

we ski during the day

and then we watch naked ladies at night

and I'm gonna have to,

I'll have to correct that vision.

- I feel like there are some things

that have been discussed in this episode

that we're gonna have to apologize for but not.

- And what did you learn? - I didn't buy the banner.

- You're not a bushy.

- I might be, still don't know it means.

- Maybe saying no to the banner makes you a bushy.

- Right.

- Did you learn anything else?

- No, I just learned what happened with you.


Recs In Effect.

Check, baby, check, baby, one, two, three, four

Check, baby, check, baby, one, two

Check, baby

Check, baby, one ♪ - I've got a rec.

I watched during the probably 20 of hours

of flight that we took to and from London,

I watched the entire Waco series.

May have heard about this.

- Waco, Texas.

- So it's-- - Town.

- It's on, I think it's on Paramount.

Like the Paramount Network which a lot of people don't have

but they're trying some things.

They're trying to establish themselves.

- This is the Branch Davidians.

Well, they don't call themselves a cult

but well that's what the US government call them.

- They were definitely a cult.

So, you remember David Koresh,

the Branch Davidians, early '90s, there was a,

how many days would you have said that the standoff

between the Branch Davidians and the government was?

Because we were in high school at the time.

I remember hearing about it on the news

but what's your guess how long?

- They talked about it a long time but I mean,

I'm just gonna guess seven days.

- 50 days.

- 50 days?

- Maybe 51 days.

There was a standoff and it was,

a really interesting,

first of all, I think that back in the,

let me just say that Taylor Kitsch,

however you say his name,

of Friday Night Lights fame.

- [Link] Riggins.

- Plays David Koresh and he's excellent.

He's really, really good, very compelling

and there's other like kind of a who's who

of like sort of supporting actors from other shows.

- I'm glad he did good because he did bad.

He was in that Disney movie that cost a whole lot of money.

- Oh, that was a little bit of an embarrassment.

- And yeah, that kinda--

- But he was great in this.

Showed a lot of versatility.

It's very difficult to be like taken seriously

and like to be this like compelling character

with a mullet in that way and he just kind of nailed it.

But like the side piece from House of Cards,

like Claire Underwood side piece,

that guy was in it and then Supergirl was in it

then the blonde curly headed girl from Ozark.

There's a lot of people you go, oh, that guy from that,

that girl from this.

And I thought they did,

I really enjoyed it 'cause I like the historical aspect

but the interesting thing about it

is that there's the story that the FBI

and the ATF kind of put out about what happened

which is the story that as a kid in the '90s,

listening to the news, you get the government story

and I'm not much of a conspiracy theorist

as much as I like to say things like Finland doesn't exist

for funsies on GMM.

I'm really not really prone to believe conspiracies

but it's interesting because the whole series

is from the perspective of the FBI negotiator

who basically got kicked off of the job towards the end

and a guy named David Thibodeau

who was one of the cult members who got out

and kind of made it out of this thing alive.

And basically, it's like you heard

that this was all the stuff that was happening

but this is our perspective on what happened.

So I'm sure that it's biased, I'm sure that it's not true,

100% true but you've got sort of the government story

and then you've got the Branch Davidians story

and it's just very interesting to see that perspective

like oh, this kind of makes me,

I wonder what actually went down, but I recommend it.

It's only six episodes so it's one of those things

that there's not too much of a commitment

to just see the story played out and it's well executed.

- So, are you a Branch Davidian now?

- No, I'm definitely not a Branch Davidian.

David Koresh was very wack

and did a bunch of really ridiculous things

but I don't necessarily think

that they should have been

executed by the government.

- That's the rec for this week.

#EarBiscuits, let us know what you think about,

I don't know, chains on tires.

Anything else that you wanna throw out there at us.

Let's keep the conversation going and you know what,

you can count on us to speak at you next week

most likely about our experience in London.

We learned a lot, we experienced a lot.

We shared it with each other but now,

we need to share with you.

To watch more Ear Biscuits,

click on the playlist on the right.

- [Rhett] To watch the previous episode of Ear Biscuits,

click on the playlist to the left.

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to subscribe.

- [Rhett] If you prefer to listen to this podcast,

it's available on all your favorite podcast platforms.

Thanks for being your mythical best.

The Description of What Happens When Friends Go On Opposite Vacations?