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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Martin Short Owns The World's Fattest Dog

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>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WE'RE BACK WITH THE LOVELY AND

TALENTED MARTIN SHORT.

>> I HEAR HE'S FUN.

>> Stephen: NOW, YOU'RE WITH ANOTHER ONE OF MY COMEDIC

HEROES.

YOU'RE TOURING WITH STEVE MARTIN.

>> YES.

>> Stephen: YOU'VE BEEN TOURING FOR A FEW YEARS NOW,

RIGHT?

>> IN A SHOW CALLED "AN EVENING YOU WILL NENEVER FORGET FOR THE

REST OF YOUR LIFE."

WE ALSO CALL IT "SEE THEM BEFORE THEY'RE DEAD."

>> Stephen: WHAT CAN ONE EXPECT, WHAT CAN ONE EXPECT OF

AN EVENING WITH THE MARTINS?

>> IT'S VERY LOOSE, IT'S VERY FUN.

WE STARTED OFF KIND OF-- WE KEEP EVOLVING IT.

AND STEVE IS ALWAYS WRITING.

STEVE-- LOOK, HE'S OLDER.

I MEAN, NOW-- NO, REALLY.

WHEN THE CURTAIN GOES UP, HE JUST GOES, "JESUS, I'M READY."

AND HE HEADS TOWARDS THE LIGHT.

AND, YOU KNOW,...

( LAUGHTER ) BUT HE IS ONE OF THE... ONE OF

MY GREAT FRIENDS, UNLESS YOU NEED A FAVOR.

THEN HE'S NOT THERE FOR YOU.

>> Stephen: YEAH, UH-HUH.

( LAUGHTER ) >> BUT I'M CLOSE TO HIM NOT

BECAUSE HE'S SUCCESSFUL OR RICH.

>> Stephen: YEAH.

>> BECAUSE HE'S BOTH.

( LAUGHTER ) HE'S-- BUT HE'S-- YOU KNOW, HE'S

A GENIUS.

>> Stephen: SURE, SURE.

>> HE'S A RENAISSANCE GENIUS.

AND THERE'S NO ONE FUNNIER.

>> Stephen: YOU MIGHT BE FUNNIER.

>> I GUESS, YEAH.

( LAUGHTER ) NOW THAT I THINK OF IT-- OH,

YEAH, YEAH.

>> Stephen: YEAH.

I UNDERSTAND YOU HAD A CANE ON STAGE?

>> I DID IT WAS HORRIBLE.

>> Stephen: WHY?

>> I FELL OVER-- I HAVE THE FATTEST DOG IN THE HISTORY OF

DOGS.

ANY FAT DOG-- IT'S A BETTY CROCKER SPANIEL, WHICH IS VERY

UNUSUAL.

( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: UH-HUH...

>> EVEN THE WORMS IN HIS STOOL HAVE TYPE TWO DIABETES.

MY POINT IS, HE'S A HEAVYSET DOG.

>> Stephen: IT'S A FAT DOG.

>> IT'S A FAT DOG.

AND WHEN YOU WALK HIM, THE NEIGHBORS GO, "WHY IS RUSH

LIMBAUGH ON ALL FOURS."

IT'S A HEAVY, OR-- HOW DO I DESCRIBE IT?

OR HAVE I?

>> Stephen: YOU HAVE A LITTLE BIT.

>> IT'S HILARIOUS.

STEVE, THOUGH, EXPLAINED IT THIS WAY TO THE AUDIENCE.

HE SAID-- SO I DID HAVE TO DO THE SHOW WITH A CANE FOR FOUR

SHOWS BECAUSE THE KNEE WAS ALL SCREWED UP.

>> Stephen: HOW DID YOU-- YOU SAID, "I HAVE A FAT DOG," AND

THAT'S ALL YOU SAID.

YOU HAVEN'T EXPLAINED WHY YOU NEEDED A CANE.

I SAID, "WHY DID YOU NEED A CANE?"

YOU SAID, ," I HAVE A FAT DOG," MOVING ON.

>> YOU TRY LIFTING FOOD FROM GELSON'S EVERY DAY.

IT HURTS YOU.

NO, NO, HE WENT AFTER A LITTLE YORKIE--

( BARKING ) AND I WENT DOWN.

HE TRIPPED ME AND I WENT DOWN.

>> Stephen: WHAT I LIKE ABOUT A LOT OF YOUR SENTENCES IS THEY

DON'T HAVE A LOT OF WORDS IN THEM.

JUST NOUNS, SOUND EFFECT, OBJECT.

IT'S REALLY-- >> RUFF, RUFF.

( GROWLING ).

>> Stephen: YOU ARE THE GREATEST TALK SHOW GUEST OF ALL

TIME.

>> OH I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S TRUE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S TRUE.

>> Stephen: NO, JUST ABSOLUTELY-- UNTIL AISHA TYLER

GETS OUT HERE, ARE YOU NUMBER ONE.

>> HEY, WE WERE IN A MOVIE TOGETHER.

>> Stephen: YOU AND AISHA TYLER.

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: WHAT WAS THE MOVIE.

>> "SANTA CLAUS 3."

THANK YOU, THANKS FOR REMEMBERING.

>> WHO DID YOU PLAY?

>> I PLAYED JACK FROST!

>> Stephen: WAS HE EVIL?

>> HE WASN'T EXACTLY MY BEST WORK BUT...

>> Stephen: I'M NOT ASKING IF IT WAS EVIL FOR YOU TO HAVE DONE

IT?

WAS THE CHARACTER-- >> I THOUGHT YOU MEANT --

>> Stephen: WAS THE FILM ITSELF AN ACT OF EVIL?

>> I THOUGHT YOU MEANT WAS IT EVIL FOR THE AUDIENCE TO WATCH.

>> Stephen: NO, NO.

>> YES, I WAS-- OH, I WAS EVIL, YES.

I WAS EVIL.

AND SHE PLAYED MOTHER NATURE.

>> Stephen: OH, REALLY.

I'LL BUY THAT.

WORST MOVIE YOU WERE EVER IN?

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

YOU CAN SEE MARTIN SHORT AND STEVE MARTIN'S "AN EVENING YOU

WILL FORGET FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE" THIS MAY IN IOWA,

MICHIGAN AND OHIO, YOU LUCKY STATES.

TICKETS ARE AVAILABLE AT stevemartin.com.

MARTIN SHORT, EVERYBODY!

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH AISHA TYLER.

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