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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Liz and Jack Agree to Divorce - 30 Rock

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♪♪♪

-Good morning.

How's the happy couple today?

Well, it's no surprise we're sitting here.

You two have always thrown off

that "Will they or won't they?" vibe

and it's been a real hoot to watch your courtship.

Okeydokey.

Now, when two employees get married,

it is my job to make sure that the employee

is not receiving favoritism from his or her boss.

-Favoritism, really?

He's trying to cancel my show!

-Uh-huh. And what about your little

announcement last night?

Do you know how many fires

I had to put out this morning

because of you?

And what was that voice?!

-It is my imitation of Drew Barrymore's impression

of that crazy lady.

-Let's keep this meeting short.

Our marriage is a technicality

and it will be remedied.

-Also, in order for there to be favoritism,

we'd have to actually still be friends.

-Alrighty,

let's just dive on in.

"Does the employee spend an inordinate amount of time

in the employer's office, compared to other employees?"

-Well, yes, I suppose, but only because Miss Lemon

is incapable of doing anything on her own.

-Oh, please! Half the time when I go up there,

it's to help you choose a tie,

and they're all red or blue!

-Yeah. Where I come from, if you have more

than two colors on a tie, it means you're looking

for a certain kind of bar.

-"Are all workday conversations business-related or,

do personal issues often dominate discussion,

including, but not limited to, mothers, diarrhea,

having babies, problems in the bedroom,

neckties, food issues,

foot disorders, having it all?"

-Okay, yes, in the past, we have advised each other.

-For instance, Jack taught me

not to wear tan slacks with a tan turtleneck.

I thought it looked nice, but he rightly pointed out

that it made me look like a giant condom.

-And Lemon is the only one of my subordinates

who's not afraid to warn me when I'm being too authoritative

or handsome.

-Or when you have eye boogers.

-"Have you spent time with each other's families?

Have you attended special events together,

such as class reunions, birthday or holiday celebrations,

weddings, or extended car trips?

Are you each others' emergency contacts?

Do you ever drink together at work,

perhaps while summarizing what you've learned

over the day or week?

Have you shared intimate details

of your fears, hopes, and dreams,

both personal and professional?

Is this the longest and, perhaps,

most meaningful relationship in your life?

Do you often find yourselves thinking the same thing

and then saying it at the exact same time?"

-I'm sorry, Jack. -I apologize, Lemon.

I never should've tried

to blackmail you. I'll sign the papers.

-And I shouldn't have threatened your show.

I'll leave that to the parental decency groups.

And I'll back off on the budget

and the bat mitzvahs.

[ Sultry jazz plays ] -Okay.

Now, we're gonna do word association.

Foreplay.

-We're done, Weinerslav. -Bleh.

-Try to walk like a woman, Lemon.

-Your fly's open, Jack.

The Description of Liz and Jack Agree to Divorce - 30 Rock