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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Dre and LaShonda Find Middle Ground | Family or Fiancé | Oprah Winfrey Network

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I love this woman.

But honestly, it seems to me as if you

want perfection right now.

And I'm not perfect.

We don't have perfection.

We've never had perfection.

With or without Brandon, we don't have perfection.

This is marriage, because you both see

an actual person with actual unresolvable problems.

And you're still scared.

Absolutely, because I don't trust him now.

OK.

If trust is a circle, she's outside of it.

WOMAN 1: Absolutely.

So now we have to understand-- you, as her partner,

has to go, what do you need?

What can he say to Brandon that will make

you restore this trust for you?

Brandon, if we get married, will not

be in attendance at my wedding.

WOMAN 2: OK.

How is somebody who does not support our relationship-- why

would they want to be there?

Why would I want someone who I know does not like me--

Did you-- did you hear what Brandon said at the end?

Does not like my family and does not

think that I'm good for him.

Why would that person need to be there?

We're not going to try to talk her out of this.

This is the scope right now.

We're getting a whole new level of understanding.

She does not feel like Brandon should be at the wedding

because she doesn't feel like he supports

a loving family system.

Would you be willing to do that? - Yes.

And I said that downstairs. - OK, great.

You don't need to say that you said it.

You just need to go, yes, I'm willing to say that.

MAN: Yes, I'm willing to do that.

Great. do you hear him saying that?

OK.

So that's something, right?

He doesn't want to do that.

I'm willing to go above and beyond for this woman.

WOMAN 2: OK.

I'm willing to change different things about myself.

I have changed different things about myself.

I just need her to reciprocate that.

WOMAN 2: Right.

And there's no I need this right now.

I hear you.

WOMAN 2: OK.

And I apologize for making you feel like I'm

not willing to reciprocate.

I'm just terrified right now, OK?

OK.

Brandon terrifies me.

What do you need from her?

I want her to understand that Rome was not built in a day.

When things aren't going her way or

if-- if something is bothering her, it's not a-- goes, poof!

He wants you to be able to deal with these feelings

that you get without withdrawing from the relationship.

Yeah.

Just be able to be willing to tolerate more uncertainty

and discomfort, right?

Which you're working on your dad.

You know that the dad is bringing a lot into this.

What if this situation wasn't all charged up

with your childhood fear of being unsafe,

which happened and was real?

But you bring it in with a man who is willing to take

an action on your behalf.

He's a good man.

He's working with you.

And then you got to be willing to take an action.

Let's do this.

I'll take this first step.

Great.

Excellent.

Your happiness is more important than whatever

comfortability that I might have right now.

And if that's what you want, then I can give it to you.

You're a work in progress, just like me.

There's going to be 4,000 things

you guys face as a couple.

Then it's going to ultimately come down

to if we're willing to take the right action,

there's a way forward.

And it starts today.

The Description of Dre and LaShonda Find Middle Ground | Family or Fiancé | Oprah Winfrey Network