I'm through with studying for this test 'cause I'm never gonna ace it.
It's like 4 am, and I'm gonna have to face it.
Med school isn't quite as easy as I want it to be.
(Tell me what you want.)
I want my life to be like an episode of Scrubs
But I'm not funny or cool enough.
And I can barely take a patient history.
(Tell me what you need.)
I need a - a giant brain that's got no limit
That retains all the facts that I cram in it.
Like what arteries are anastomosing in my knees.
(The geniculars)
I wanna know the etiology of all diseases.
Like why do you get sick when you eat moldy cheeses?
And how come Taco Bell makes my gut feel so gassy?
(Raffinose, in the beans)
I'm gonna trade my books for patients and pay
I'd even give up caffeine and holidays.
'Cause we all just want to be big MDs
But we don't want to study immunology.
The girls come nerdy and the books ain't cheap
We'll drink a lot of coffee 'cause we just don't sleep
And we'll hang out in the study rooms
Where we can't shake this feeling of impending doom
As we count down the days to our next exam
We'll need at least a week if we want to cram.
And well, hey, hey, I wanna be an M.D.
Hey, hey, I wanna be an M.D.
I want to be like House, but not quite a jerk.
I want to have a real life outside of work.
And I'll befriend the drug reps so I can eat my meals for free.
(I'll have some Tums, with calcium.)
I'm gonna dress your wounds with the greatest ointments.
And I might be late to all of my appointments.
So I'll hire a staff that loves to do my work for me.
(So how you gonna do it?)
I'm gonna trade my loans for patients and pay
I'd even give up caffeine and holidays.
'Cause we all just want to be big M.D.s
Where a lot of what I know I learned from TV
The girls come nerdy and the drugs ain't cheap
We'll drink a lot of Red Bull 'cause we just don't sleep
And we'll hang out in the study rooms
Where we can't shake this feeling of impending doom
As we count down the minutes to our next exam.
By now it might be too late to start to cram.
And we'll hide out in the on-call rooms
With my Stedman's Dictionary and my Netter's, too.
From mucus to vomitus, from blood to bile
Everybody's got a resident on speed dial
And well, hey, hey, I wanna be an M.D.
You know I just can't wait to take another test.
With so much excitement there's no time to rest.
I'm gonna study every fact I've learned all night long
So when I get pimped I don't get 'em wrong.
'Cause we all just want to be big M.D.s
Well, at least we'll graduate before the Ph.D.s.
The girls come nerdy and the drugs ain't cheap
We'll drink a lot of coffee 'cause we just don't sleep
And we'll hang out in the study rooms
Where we can't shake this feeling of impending doom
As we receive the scores from our last exam
I'm reminded once again of how not smart I am.
And we'll hide out in the on-call rooms
With my Taber's Dictionary and my First Aid, too.
I'd better study like it's going out of style
'Cause it looks like I'm gonna be here for a while.
And well, hey, hey, I wanna be an M.D.
Hey, hey, I wanna be an M.D.
[credit music]
