Since this is my first Trek, Actually video to focus specifically on Captain James T.
Kirk, I thought it might be fun to teach my wife Captain Kirk’s favorite card game – fizzbin!
Of course, it won’t really be fizzbin, technically, because I don’t have the same cards they
use on Beta Antares IV.
But we can still play it even though all we have is a standard 52-card deck of playing
Look at that!
You’ve got half a fizzbin already.
I’m in trouble!
Anyway, when it came time to choose the subject of this video, I decided it would be fun to
explore one of the most misunderstood aspects of Captain Kirk’s character.
I suppose the best way to begin that exploration is simply to ask the question:
Is Captain Kirk Actually a Womanizer?
This is one of those things that many people just kinda take for granted.
Captain Kirk is a notorious skirt-chaser.
He’s jumping into bed with another alien babe every other episode or something.
“Kirk is a womanizer” has become one of those aspects of Star Trek that are familiar
even to people who aren’t really fans of the show.
It’s referenced by comedians, it shows up in parodies of the show, it’s cited to contrast
Captain Kirk with Captain Picard, who is far less promiscuous, especially when it comes
to members of his own crew.
Or so it is said.
I can’t exempt myself from this phenomenon.
My first exposure to Star Trek was the movies, which I discovered as a child in the 1980s.
From there I latched on to Star Trek: The Next Generation once it started.
I didn’t really start to watch and pay attention to The Original Series until I was a teenager,
and by then the notion that Captain Kirk was the Galaxy’s Most Legendary Lothario was
something I had accepted as just another part of Star Trek.
Pick a number between one and five.
Which one do you want?
Anyway, the more I watched The Original Series, the more I started to notice something.
Kirk’s actual portrayal on the show didn’t really match his reputation.
For example, Kirk was supposedly a cowboy, a loose cannon, a shoot first and ask questions
later kinda guy.
But on the show he’s pretty by-the-book most of the time.
True, there are several episodes where he takes it upon himself to initiate sweeping
changes to the societies of planets they visit, but the writers were making this stuff up
as they went along and didn’t really build out Starfleet as an institution during The
Original Series, so the responsibilities and limitations of starship captains weren’t
Kirk’s crew on the Enterprise rarely object to the actions he takes, however drastic and
unilateral they are.
Even Spock seems to regard Kirk not as a maverick who plays by his own rules, but as a model
Now that I’ve been a Star Trek fan for over thirty years and seen every episode of The
Original Series at least two or three times, and seen a few of my favorites more times
than I can even remember, I can say with confidence that the same is true of Kirk’s reputation
as a womanizer.
It just doesn’t match up with his portrayal on the show.
And it is after sunset, which means that is very good news for you, my dear.
Say, I was thinking.
We’ve got a pretty good game going here.
Would you want to make it more interesting?
Let’s say, loser does the dishes?
It’s a bet.
Heh heh heh.
Don’t misunderstand – I’m not saying Kirk was celibate.
Far from it.
In fact, if you look at Kirk’s entry at Memory Alpha, the Star Trek wiki, you’ll
see the authors have helpfully listed all of Kirk’s love interests from The Original
Series and the movies.
There are quite a few names on that list – twenty-four, to be exact.
At first glance that seems to reinforce the image of Kirk as a philanderer.
But on closer inspection, it turns out that almost all of the women listed in Kirk’s
wiki entry under the “Romance” sub-heading are people he was in serious, committed relationships
The first four are ex-girlfriends with whom Kirk has been broken up for years by the time
we meet him, and one of them – Carol Marcus – we don’t even find out about until many
years later, in the film Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.
The fifth person on the list, Helen Noel, is someone Kirk flirted with at a party but
it apparently went no further than that.
The tenth person on the list, Lenore Karidian, is someone Kirk kisses and seems to be developing
deeper feelings for, but she turns out to be a murderer before anything else can happen
Next is Edith Keeler in “The City on the Edge of Forever,” who is usually regarded
as one of the great loves of Kirk’s life, a woman he comes to care about so deeply that
he very nearly sacrifices the future of the galaxy to save her.
Despite the intensity of his feelings for her, their interactions with each other are
I’m pretty sure they never get around to having sex before poor Edith gets pancaked
by that truck.
The next person on the list who we can definitely say Kirk slept with is number eighteen, Miramanee
from “The Paradise Syndrome,” whom Kirk marries while suffering from amnesia.
Miramanee becomes pregnant with Kirk’s child and dies soon after.
The rest of the list consists of people Kirk either tried and failed to seduce while he
was in some kind of altered state, or who tried to seduce Kirk while they were not what
they appeared to be, or who Kirk flirted with for some strategic purpose but probably didn’t
actually sleep with.
Oh, and Antonia, a woman Kirk lived with at some point, probably between the events of
Star Trek: The Motion Picture and Star Trek II.
We catch a glimpse of her when Picard finds Kirk in the Nexus in Star Trek: Generations.
See how I’ve got a red jack, a black nine, and a red three?
That’s called prelude to a fizzbin.
And since we’re playing during a month that has thirty days, all I need is a spade above
a four or a diamond below a ten and I win.
Well, don’t look at me like that – I don’t make the rules!
Other than the ex-girlfriends, Miramanee, and Antonia the only person on the list we
can confidently conclude Kirk slept with is Deela here.
She’s number nineteen on the Memory Alpha list, and she appears in an episode from Star
Trek’s third season titled “Wink of an Eye.”
The Enterprise responds to a distress call from the planet Scalos.
But when Kirk leads a landing party down to the surface, they find it totally uninhabited
– no animals, no plants, no people – though Spock does find some evidence that people
were there recently.
The landing party’s red shirt disappears right in front of McCoy, so they decide maybe
it’s a good idea to return to the ship.
But once everyone is back on board the Enterprise, they start experiencing random malfunctions.
And then there’s this weird air conditioner looking thing that’s been tied into the
And there’s this high pitched buzzing noise that keeps recurring.
Kirk learns what’s going on after he has a sip of coffee on the bridge and everyone
else starts moving really slow.
That’s when Deela shows up.
She’s like, “Hi, I’m the Queen of Scalos.
The reason everyone else seems to be moving slow now is because I spiked your coffee so
that you’d become hyper-accelerated like us Scalosians.”
Deela tells Kirk there is a scientific explanation for how and why the Scalosians all exist in
a much faster time frame relative to everyone else, but she doesn’t waste time sharing
that explanation in detail because it’s not really important to the story, and this
is Star Trek, not Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Kirk heads back down to the environmental control room.
When he gets there he runs in to Compton, the red shirt who disappeared from the landing
It turns out Compton was hyper-accelerated, too, and now he’s 100% Team Scalos.
Kirk’s like, “Oh yeah, that’s nice – Kick!
There are some more Scalosians there and they grab Kirk.
Then Compton does a last-minute babyface turn and tries to help Kirk, but one of the Scalosians
fights Compton off, scratching him in the process.
That’s too bad for Compton, because it turns out that if you get scratched while you’re
hyper-accelerated, you start to age at much faster rate.
That’s why in a few moments Compton is lying dead on the floor looking like Willem Dafoe
in old age make-up.
The Scalosian in charge down here is this guy, Rael, and he – hang on, he looks familiar.
Where have I seen him before?
Captain Kirk, watch yourself!
This dude resurrected his dead girlfriend’s head in a cake pan.
Don’t turn your back on him, Jim.
And kind of a sicko.
Anyway, it turns out there are only five Scalosians left on the whole planet, and the same natural
disaster that cause them all to become hyper-accelerated also rendered the men sterile.
As a result, the two remaining Scalosian women must mate with outsiders in order for their
species to survive.
The Scalosians plan to convert the Enterprise into a big freezer to preserve the rest of
the crew in suspended animation and thaw them out as they need them.
But for starters, Deela has chosen Kirk to be her baby daddy.
And that brings us to the scene that is the whole reason why I’m even telling you about
It’s not even a scene, really, it’s a single shot.
But that one shot is pregnant with meaning.
Just like Deela is hoping Kirk’s shot will get her pregn– is that too crass?
Deela and Kirk go to Kirk’s cabin.
They seem to be getting along pretty well with each other.
We cut to another scene, then cut back to find Kirk on the edge of his bed, pulling
his boots on.
And that is the closest we get to Captain Kirk having sex with someone in all of the
TV and film adventures of the original Star Trek characters: the naughty suggestion of
recently completed coitus represented by Captain Kirk putting his shoes back on.
Granted, one big reason for that is that Star Trek was originally produced and aired in
the 1960s, when censors were very careful not to allow offensive material to be broadcast.
They kept the airwaves clean back then, reserved them for wholesome, family friendly programming,
like George Wallace defending segregation on Meet the Press, not restrained depictions
of adults engaging in consensual, mutually enjoyable sexual relationships – filth like
that might be a bad influence on the kids!
Whatever factors outside of the production of the show may have contributed, the fact
remains that Captain Kirk, as he is actually presented on Star Trek, is far from the relentless
horn dog he is reputed to be.
He seems to have quite a few ex-girlfriends (almost as many as MacGyver), but all the
exes we’re introduced to are women with whom he’s had serious, committed relationships.
Is it accurate to call someone promiscuous because they’ve had a half dozen or so serious
If we must sort Kirk into a category according to his sexual history, I think it’s much
more accurate to call him a serial monogamist.
He’s had quite a few partners, but there’s no evidence that he frequently engages in
He’s not BoJack Horseman.
He’s more like Mr. Peanut Butter.
Aside from the limitations imposed by network censors, and Kirk’s own apparent preference
for relationships rather than no-strings-attached hook-ups, the best evidence we have that Kirk
doesn’t sleep around is that we know he has a much more important priority in his
life, something a more active and adventurous sex life would only distract him from.
I’m talking about his professed first, last, and only love: his starship.
In “The Corbomite Maneuver,” Kirk and McCoy are briefly interrupted by the arrival
of Yeoman Janice Rand, who delivers the Captain some food.
Kirk reacts to her presence with annoyance, and when McCoy asks him about it he explains,
“I’ve already got a female to worry about.
Her name is the Enterprise.”
In “The Naked Time” we get another glimpse at the depth of Kirk’s commitment to his
And it seems like it might not be the healthiest relationship he’s ever had.
Under the influence of a mysterious infection that errodes inhibition, Kirk says to Spock,
I give, she takes.
She won’t permit me my life.
I’ve got to live hers.”
As he exits that scene he pauses to whisper to the Enterprise, “Never lose you . . . never.”
So maybe it’s not so much that Kirk isn’t interested in gettin’ down with the ladies
more often than he does, he just doesn’t feel free to do that because as a captain
his first duty is to the ship.
He does indicate a strong attraction to Yeoman Rand on more than one occasion – when a
transporter accident splits him into two people in the episode “The Enemy Within,” his
evil half goes straight for her.
And we catch him leering like a creep at Rand and one or two other women throughout the
But the fact remains, Kirk controls whatever lustful impulses he may feel, he appears to
prefer to have sex with women he’s in relationships with, or at least seriously interested in,
and when we see him kissing or flirting with women he’s just met it’s almost always
because one of them is in some kind of altered state or attempting some kind of strategic
Even Kirk’s implied roll in the hay with Deela turns out to be part of a ploy to thwart
the Scalosians and save the Enterprise.
Before we wrap this up, I do feel that it’s only fair to note that so far I’ve been
talking only about the original Classic Trek version of Captain Kirk.
In 2009 another Captain Kirk was introduced into the Star Trek canon, and his sex life
appears to be quite different than that of his counterpart.
The James T. Kirk of the Kelvin Timeline who we see depicted in the films Star Trek, Star
Trek Into Darkness, and Star Trek Beyond is much closer to the swingin’ bachelor type
the original Kirk is often described as being.
Unlike the Kirk of the prime timeline, who has apparently been single-mindedly focused
on his career in Starfleet since he was a teenager, Kelvin Timeline Kirk grows into
a rebellious, unfocused young man.
He’s just as smart and cunning as his prime timeline counterpart, but far less serious
and goal oriented.
He only attends Starfleet Academy after Captain Pike dares him to do it, and while he’s
there he seems a lot more interested in, ahem, extracurricular activities than Prime Kirk,
whom his old friend Gary Mitchell describes as “a stack of books with legs.”
Kelvin Kirk’s tendency to engage in casual sex continues after he becomes Captain of
the Enterprise, at least for a time.
In Star Trek Into Darkness he spends the night with two sexy cat ladies.
It’s also mentioned that at some point he had a relationship with Christine Chapel,
who has since transferred to an assignment on the outer frontier.
Kirk doesn’t seem to remember her.
By the time we see him again in Star Trek Beyond he doesn’t seem to be gettin’ nearly
so busy, but that might be because the Enterprise has been on deep space assignment for three
years and this Kirk now takes his responsibilities as Captain as seriously as Prime Kirk and
considers people under his command to be off-limits for sexual relations.
Kelvinverse Spock, on the other hand . . .
That’s what happens when you think with your . . . human half.
Really, the answer to the question “Is Captain Kirk actually a womanizer?”
depends on which Captain Kirk you’re referring to.
If you’re talking about Kirk Prime the answer is no, he isn’t.
If you’re talking about Kelvin Kirk the answer is yes, he is, for awhile, anyway.
And by the way, that’s perfectly fine.
Kirk’s promiscuity, or assumed promiscuity, is usually brought up to put him down or make
fun of him, but there’s nothing wrong with being promiscuous in and of itself.
So long as he acts with the full knowledge and consent of his partners, and within the
bounds of ethics expected of a person in his position, I say let Kirk, or anyone else for
that matter, have sex with whoever he wants, as often as he wants.
I almost forgot to tell you how “Wink of an Eye” ends!
So, Kirk double-crosses Deela in the transporter room and grabs her stun weapon thingy, then
meets up with Spock, who has figured out how to reverse the hyper-acceleration process
and intentionally accelerated himself in order to help Kirk.
They destroy the Scalosian air conditioner, and Kirk beams the Scalosians back down to
their planet and takes the antidote to return to normal speed, while Spock remains hyper-accelerated
for a few minutes minutes so he can repair the ship.
And then they just leave!
They abandon the Scalosians to either die out or try their deep freeze scam on some
other unsuspecting ship that passes by – we don’t know what happens because they’re
never heard from again.
This isn’t the only time Kirk drops a group of defeated villains on a planet and flies
away instead of either helping them or turning them over to the authorities to answer for
I can think of at least one other time Kirk did this, and it came back to bite him in
the ass in a big way.
But that’s a subject for another video.
As far as this video goes, I have to conclude that Captain Kirk – Prime timeline Captain
Kirk, anyway – is not the womanizer he is reputed to be.
Quite the contrary – he seems motivated by his duty to his ship and crew, not his
And when he does get involved with people romantically, he’s not interested in one-night-stands
but in committed relationships based on mutual understanding and respect.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think our game is just about over.
That’s . . . you’ve got a royal fizzbin.
You beat me!
How the hell is this even – Right.
Now I get to suffer the punishment I myself prescribed, while you stand aside and drink
in the irony like an Ancient Greek god looking down from Olympus.
Did this blow up in my face or . . . what?
You mean, we’ll both do the dishes?
Above all else, a god needs compassion.
You know, you’re quite a dish your own self . . .