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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: The Search For Bob

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MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode

of Critical Role or I guess whenever this night came out,

this night's episode of Critical Role.

(laughter)

Where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors

sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

(cheering)

Specifically tonight, we're doing one of our Kickstarter

one-shots that was unlocked that was a continuation

of our Search for Grog one-shot.

We got to the point of the adventure in which

Grog was saved.

TRAVIS: Found me!

MATT: The spirit was returned to the body,

but they still are amongst the chaos of Pandemonium.

So as part of this unlock within the stretch goals

of the Kickstarter campaign, we now get to do

the other half of this storyline

that we didn't expect to do, which is awesome.

For tonight, if you haven't noticed,

we're all dressed very comfy.

We have decided, as of recent conversations,

to go ahead to have a classic night

where we all dress up like we used to have

our Sunday morning brunch games and be in pajamas

and have mimosas and snacks.

MARISHA: Cheers to Sunday brunch.

MATT: Cheers, indeed.

SAM: This may come out on a Sunday. We don't know.

MATT: Could be, could be. There you go.

LAURA and MATT: Love you guys.

TRAVIS: Not wearing anything under this table.

LAURA, LIAM, and MATT: Eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes.

MATT: Take a nice battle cam view of our fantastic

spread of snacks here that Ashley and Laura

and other folks all put together for this.

SAM: Healthy, too. (laughter)

LIAM: Give me that cheese.

ASHLEY: Get in it. It's good.

MATT: But yes, so prepare

yourself for some light snacking as we go through

because this is also our call back to

the olden days at our newer table.

LAURA: Chomp chomp chomp chomp.

MATT: That being the case, let's go ahead

and jump into today-- tonight's episode,

whenever this is happening-- this episode of Critical Role.

OFF-SCREEN: (sings Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song")

Last we left off,

the party known as Vox Machina,

upon saving Exandria by and large from the incursion

of Vecna, Thar Amphala,

and the Shadowfell-based minions of his

that had brought him to ascend as a god,

you sealed him away and, however, in the process,

closed the chapter on your friend, Vax'ildan.

Upon returning home to Whitestone, Grog pulled a card

from the Deck of Many Things, pulled the worst card

from the deck, and had his soul jettisoned off

into a random plane.

TRAVIS: That's a matter of opinion.

MATT: Yeah, his body left lifeless.

The last game you had discovered his soulless body,

took it to Vasselheim and asked the council there

for some help in trying to ascertain

the location of his spirit, wherever it may be.

Discovering that it was in the Plane of Pandemonium,

the windswept realm of madness,

you gathered yourself a couple of allies

in Sir Bertrand Bell, a seasoned adventurer

who had volunteered his services as a guide

who had been to Pandemonium before supposedly,

but had never been to Pandemonium and Lieve'tel--

LIAM: A real nice lady. MATT: A really nice lady

of the Raven Queen, who as part of paying penance

for the loss of Vax'ildan had offered herself

to volunteer to aid them on this mission.

You guys rounded up the last bit of things

you needed, said goodbye to a few friends about the city

and then made your journey to Pandemonium.

Immediately blasted by the incredible winds

and the lightless expanse that was around you

in the interior, you shouted commands as you made your way

across the dangerous landscape,

ran into a strange individual who seemed to be of Gith

lineage who couldn't remember their name and asked some

curious questions before vanishing

into the dust storm around you.

You continued on forward after having visions

of where this stone, this ruby-like gem

that contained Grog's soul, was embedded

at the top of this spire that existed

somewhere on this plane.

You made your way to Howler's Crag, the base of this

mountain tower. You battled howlers that had stalked

and hunted you on your way there.

You made your way through the tunnels and caves

that wound up the interior of this giant structure.

A bunch of bugbears came out of nowhere

and tore off Percy's arm. It's crazy.

SAM: It was crazy. LAURA: It was your other one, darling.

TALIESIN: Oh, that's right.

MATT: Then regenerated. There's now a third Percy arm

that's just disembodied and flapping around.

Awkward. Very D&D.

You then also stealthily bypassed

a distracted demon entity known as a balor

that seemed to be in the process of

painting bloody pictures on a wall.

You carefully pushed by the tight space,

many of you burned heavily, escaping the other side

and climbing to the top of the tower where, awaiting you,

guarding this gem as part of the enchantment

or just the general proximity of Pandemonium

or a combination of the two, a corrupted empyrean,

an entity of celestial origin, a half-child of the gods,

screaming mad into the winds above, bound somehow

to this tower, its history lost and its mind

every bit as scattered. You climbed the outside

of this tower, did battle with it.

It smashed and angrily dashed each of you

nearly from the tower multiple times, sending Bertrand Bell,

clinging to life. Did actually smash and kill Lieve'tel,

who now lies lifeless.

In the midst of this intense throw down,

Trinket, gritting his bare teeth

with the unconscious, soulless body of Grog

affixed to his back by chains,

climbed the edge of the mountain, rushed toward the stone

and upon meeting Grog's body to the stone,

Grog was brought back to consciousness,

the spirit instilling him with that angry barbarian

power from within and through some absurd fucking luck

rolled two natural 20s in a row and dealt the final blow

to the creature, axe sinking into its corrupted

celestial body, tearing it asunder

and that was where we ended.

SAM: Because of parking restrictions.

MATT: Because of parking restrictions. That is correct.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: We don't want to get locked in. We got to go.

MATT: Yep!

LIAM: The real world creeps in sometimes. MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Sometimes. So.

We begin.

You, Vox Machina and allies,

dead and alive.

LIAM: Well, you know, take a penny, leave a penny.

MATT: Yeah there. (laughs)

You are stranded within the Plane of Pandemonium,

your premium spell components apparently stolen,

leaving you adrift in a lightless realm of madness.

The ruined body of the massive corrupt celestial being

lies crumbling atop the spire of Howler's Crag,

the wind whipping around the remnants of the battlefield.

Dust and rocks sting your flesh as you stand

looking out into the darkness around you here atop the peak.

Grog stands enlarged and breathing heavily,

his eyes filled with the rage and joy,

clutching his axe atop the body of the empyrean,

its blackened flesh slowly burning away into ash.

The rest of you stand around the broken rock, battered

lifeless body of Lieve'tel also broken among the ruin.

Vox Machina, what would you like to do?

ASHLEY: Well, what do you have to say for yourself?

TRAVIS: (excited breathing) Did you see that shit?!

ASHLEY: Yeah, that was amazing!

TRAVIS: By the way quick point, safety tip,

I think the Deck of Many Things

may be dangerous.

SAM: No. TALIESIN and ASHLEY: Really?

LAURA: Do you know where you are right now?

Do you know where we are right now?

TRAVIS: In a castle.

LAURA: No. We're literally not anywhere near it.

We're on top. It's very windy.

TRAVIS: Mm-hmm, yeah, terrible weather we're having.

LAURA: (sighs) SAM: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Perhaps some shelter and perhaps a moment

to take care of this problem?

MATT: Could you roll a death saving throw for me?

TRAVIS: Yeah for the-- SAM: Death saving throw?

MATT: For Bertrand Bell, who's still unconscious.

SAM: Is he dead?

LIAM: He's making death saves.

LAURA: And she's dead dead.

TRAVIS: Success. LIAM: Dead dead.

MARISHA: I drop my form, my pit fiend form.

That's what I was, right? What was I?

MATT: You were a goristro. MARISHA: A goristro.

Foom!

LAURA: Oh, hi.

MARISHA: That went great! SAM: We have Grog

back, but our two new friends are fallen

and one seems to be--

her head is just crushed beyond repair.

MATT: Roll again. TRAVIS: Oh, second death

saving throw. That's a one.

MATT: That's two failures.

LIAM: Every six seconds.

SAM: Triage, triage to someone.

Pikey! Pike! Heal him!

MATT: Those are you first two fails?

TRAVIS: Two fails, one success. MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: What do you mean new friends? Who are these fuckers?

MARISHA: I Healing Word Bertrand.

MATT: Okay, go ahead and roll for it.

LAURA: Scanlan, can you make the mansion?

SAM: Sure, but I hardly think that will--

MARISHA: Six.

TRAVIS: Six points?

MARISHA: No wait, six plus I get to add something, right?

MATT: Add your wisdom modifier.

MARISHA: Oh, okay, 14.

TRAVIS: 14, may I take-- MARISHA: No, 12, 12, 12.

TRAVIS: May I take 12 points of healing?

MATT: You can take 12 points of healing for Bertrand.

You are now conscious again.

SAM: What do you mean? LIAM: I want my Player's Handbook!

SAM: Oh sure. LIAM: Give it to me!

SAM: But you're dead. LIAM: But I am a D&D player.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: I've heard Scrappy Doo in every D&D game.

SAM: Oh Mr. Bell! Mr. Bell is alive and awake.

TRAVIS: Oh, did we kill it?

We killed it, right? LAURA: We killed it.

ASHLEY: We did. It's dead. TRAVIS: I hurt so much.

I hurt so much.

SAM: You were very brave. You actually were very brave.

TRAVIS: (as Bertrand) Thank you.

Oh my god, who is that?

(as Grog) Who is that small fighter?

(as Bertrand) You are so handsome and huge.

(as Grog) My god, you are so old. Look at his hair.

Who is this fucking twerp?

SAM: I think he can answer for himself.

(laughter)

(as Bertrand) It is a pleasure, a pleasure to meet you.

You are the one that we were clearly coming to rescue.

He's enormous. ASHLEY: Yeah, he's big.

TRAVIS: He's really large. Oh hmm, is the danger passed?

TALIESIN: Well! LAURA: Mostly.

TRAVIS: Somewhat. SAM: We're still in a

realm of constant evil and surrounded by demons.

ASHLEY: Still in Pandemonium, yes.

TRAVIS: (as Grog) What? Where? What do you mean, "demons?"

What did you say? Andemonium?

TALIESIN: This is what you did to us.

LAURA: This is what you did to us.

TRAVIS: What do you mean, "did to us?"

I pulled the card. I wake up and you guys took me somewhere

while I was asleep. ASHLEY: You came here,

you fell asleep, you wouldn't wake up,

and then we had to come here and we had to get you.

LAURA: After you promised not to draw any cards.

TRAVIS: Hold on just a second. Now Pike,

clearly I'm a sleepwalker,

but I don't think I could walk here in my sleep.

MARISHA: Well, technically your soul

got like ripped from your body and attached here.

TRAVIS: How?

LAURA: Trinket had to carry your lifeless form all the way.

MATT: (grunts) Trinket comes up and head butts you.

TRAVIS: Hi buddy. MATT: (growls)

TRAVIS: Is it my birthday? Is this like a surprise party?

MARISHA: No, I was actually hoping that Pandemonium

would be much cuter because I initially thought

pandas because Panda-monium,

but it's, um.

TALIESIN: I'm irritated that I can see

where you're going with that. TRAVIS: You all look a little

worse for the wear.

SAM: I think-- guys, I think that Grog is mentally incapable

of understanding what just happened.

TRAVIS: (as Bertrand) I was wondering

if that's normal for him.

He seems like a real idiot.

SAM: Maybe it's better if we just don't try.

Let's just move on. TALIESIN: We'll attempt it

once we're somewhere where we have props.

SAM: That's right. MATT: Perception check, Percival.

TALIESIN: Yes!

Oh, that's so sad to look at after-- SAM: Perhaps we could

illustrate it for him with shadow puppets.

TALIESIN: 13.

TRAVIS: (as Grog) I would like that very much.

MATT: Within the short radius of light that you do have,

you just see sand and wind. You are standing still

upon the peak of Howler's Crag, which--

TALIESIN: I'm feeling a bit exposed, to be honest.

SAM: All right. TALIESIN: Can we get--

SAM: Should I put up the mansion

or should we try to get out of here?

LAURA: We have to drag this dead form

all the way? ASHLEY: I'll get her.

I'm going to over and try to pick her up.

MARISHA: Careful, her head might collapse if you move it.

SAM: Yeah, it's barely together. MARISHA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Maybe you should like tape it, wrap it.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I can try to--

TRAVIS: What's her head look like?

TALIESIN: Put her in the Bag of Colding, for god's sakes.

SAM: At least her head.

LIAM: I like that, without dice rolls,

a bugbear's ripped off

Percy's arm and we grew a little tiny sea anemone hand.

TALIESIN: That was a lot of spells.

LAURA: And that was not his head.

SAM: All right, I will cast

the Magnificent Mansion so that we can get some peace.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

SAM: ♪ Waaaa! ♪

MATT: The glowing purple doorway opens up.

You can see it flickering a bit

just from the brief moment of distant interference

from having to reach across the planes to open this doorway.

But it opens up plainly without issue.

SAM: All right, everyone get in.

LAURA: I'll hold her head together.

TALIESIN: Let's get all of her in here,

see if we can do something about this.

TRAVIS: Did you guys do that to her?

LAURA: No, you did this to her, Grog.

ASHLEY: You did it. TALIESIN: You were responsible for this.

TRAVIS: I feel like I'm missing something. Let's go inside.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: I want to keep holding her head,

but I also really want

to get some cheese off that plate

so I'm just going to set it down.

ASHLEY: I got her. LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: I'm going to try casting Revivify.

I don't know if it's going to work.

SAM: Has it been more than a minute?

MATT: It's been far more than a minute.

ASHLEY: Oh shit, that's a minute, isn't it?

MATT: And you do not have any components on you.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay, okay.

SAM: Because we were robbed. LAURA: What do we do?

ASHLEY: I was just trying to see if maybe you forgot.

TRAVIS: We were robbed?

SAM: We were also robbed, Grog. MATT: Respect.

SAM: This fellow named Bob--

at least that's what we think his name was.

He met us, he talked to us for a while,

and then when we looked down at our pockets,

all of our money and possessions were gone for most of us.

TRAVIS: I'm asleep for one day and you take me to some

random ass place and get robbed. What has become of you--

SAM: I don't even know, Grog. Maybe you should check your

body. He could have robbed things off of your body.

TRAVIS: Can I check my person and my Bag of Holding

and all my bits. Like, are my balls there?

(laughter)

SAM: We'll edit out to shorten it.

MATT: Thank you. Don't. It's part of the genuine experience.

TRAVIS: Yeah. What's the rush?

MATT: Your Bag of Holding is missing.

(gasps)

SAM: You were robbed. ASHLEY: There was so much

in that bag. LAURA: The whole bag?!

TRAVIS: It's like our identities,

all these years in one bag.

LAURA: I'm a very perceptive person.

I can't believe he robbed all of us and I didn't notice.

MARISHA: There was some

little bits of Dork the Ox in that bag.

TRAVIS: No, those are gone by now.

MARISHA: Oh. TRAVIS: Yeah.

But there was lots of fancy robes and expensive wines.

TALIESIN and MARISHA: Still smells like him.

TRAVIS: Flatware and really-- LAURA: Dried poo.

Some dried poo. SAM: Grog, this is

actually a good thing because you know what this means?

You know what this gives us an opportunity to do?

TRAVIS: Not really.

SAM: Revenge. TRAVIS: (gasps)

SAM: We're going to find this Bob, get back our belongings,

and make him pay for desecrating your sort of dead body

and stealing from us.

We are Vox fucking Machina.

He can't steal from us.

We're the fucking police and army--

MARISHA: I mean, technically, he did steal from us.

TRAVIS: I was almost outraged. I was like this close.

SAM: I know. It's been a long day.

TRAVIS: Deliver me next time, will you?

Don't just tease a man. SAM: I'll try.

TRAVIS: Okay.

TALIESIN: Let's perhaps do something.

MARISHA: How do we track him down?

We should sleep and then track him down.

TRAVIS: Yeah we can track, but we've tracked harder people.

What did this person look like?

SAM: I don't really remember.

MARISHA: He was a gith. TRAVIS: He was what?

LAURA: Oh, you know, I remember. You remember that skull

that you and Percy fought over?

TRAVIS: I don't know if it's fought, more like I--

TALIESIN: We don't talk about that skull.

We're hoping it's just going to vanish from his memory.

LAURA: I feel like he was one of those things.

TRAVIS: A skull?

TALIESIN: We're all technically a skull, dear.

LAURA: No, no, like-- SAM: He had skin and hair.

TRAVIS: That sounds like nobody you want to mess with.

LAURA: It was this ancient weird-looking skull, remember?

Never mind. TALIESIN: I'll also add.

This person has all of our things. Find Objects,

some basic scrying should be able to-- we know everything.

LAURA: I have Locate Object. I can do that.

SAM: First, should we deal with the Lieve'tel woman?

TALIESIN: Yes. ASHLEY: What about Spare the Dying?

SAM: What's that do?

ASHLEY: I don't think I need any components for that.

SAM: What does that do?

MATT: That's revolting.

LAURA: Ew, gross! Don't waste the meat like that!

SAM: That's part of her brain.

LAURA: You have to eat it! LIAM: Of course I'm going to eat it.

LAURA: Gross. LIAM: Put my face back on!

LAURA: Liam O'Brien, don't be nasty.

TRAVIS: There's going to be a break out tomorrow.

Just up here in this.

LAURA: Yeah. [inaudbile] UCB!

TRAVIS: What happened to that part of your forehead?

SAM: Pike, what does that do, what does that do?

ASHLEY: Spare the Dying, you just touch someone

and it instantly brings them back.

But I don't know

if he's still alive. LAURA: I feel like it's only

if somebody's unconscious.

ASHLEY: It's only unconscious.

You know even though I'm level 20, I really can't remember

somehow anything. TALIESIN: Just because recently

I've been reading up on how clerics function.

I've been reading a fascinating book about the art of--

SAM: Clericcing? TALIESIN: Clerical work.

TRAVIS: Can I go over and loot? TALIESIN: I believe that there's

in fact a 5th-level spell, but unfortunately

we would need some components for it to function.

It's very difficult to bring

somebody back from the dead without components.

ASHLEY: Yes, we need components. LAURA: Did he take all

of our components, or just the fancy ones?

MATT: All the fancy ones.

TALIESIN: Oh, so we might have-- LAURA: Unfancy ones.

MATT: You have the basic components, but anything that has

a monetary cost in the name-- TALIESIN: A monetary cost in the name.

MATT: Yes. TALIESIN: Bugger.

TRAVIS: Can I go over and look at the body of Lieve'tel?

What do I see? MATT: Okay.

If you'd like to describe what Grog sees

when Grog walks over to look upon the body of Lieve'tel.

LIAM: I don't know; she's dead.

TRAVIS: Yeah, but I've never seen her before.

LIAM: I don't remember what happened to her before.

Oh, what she looks like. MATT: Yes.

LIAM: Well, she's a striking, beautiful, dark-haired woman.

TALIESIN: She strikes everyone.

LIAM: She's got a plume of black feathers and a robe,

a black robe and silver stars and her head is cleft.

TRAVIS: Cleft?

LIAM: Split.

TRAVIS: Oh, oh.

ASHLEY: It's split open.

LIAM: One of the eyes is hanging from a little string.

TRAVIS: Are those her noodles coming out of there?

LAURA: Mm-hmm. TALIESIN: Well, I hope so.

SAM: What components do you need, Pikey Poo?

ASHLEY: Diamonds.

SAM: How many and how much of value?

TALIESIN and ASHLEY: 500.

TALIESIN: If I recall. ASHLEY: Yes, I think

that's absolutely correct.

SAM: I might be able to get that for you.

TALIESIN: We would also have to put her head back together,

if I recall, at least try and put it back together.

LAURA: Well, it's pretty close together.

She might come back a little different.

TALIESIN: Unless there's a spell I don't know about.

MATT: Well, no, as long as you have all the pieces

and hold them together, it should be okay.

SAM: You know what? You know what we should do?

We should all go outside and just look on the floor

to make sure none of the pieces fell out.

TALIESIN: I swear, by the way, if you bust out an jigsaw

puzzle right now I'm going to be

the happiest man in the world.

With just Lieve's face.

LAURA: Did Bob steal my wedding ring?

MATT: Uh...

no.

That would have been too on point.

SAM: Oh boy, this is where we find out Percy got you

a cubic zirconium ring.

TALIESIN: I made it myself.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Oh shit. SAM: Why isn't it working?

TALIESIN: Well, I'm going to be outside in Pandemonium.

Excuse me.

LAURA: It might be worth far more than 500 gold,

but it's something.

SAM: Is it a diamond? LAURA: It is a diamond.

SAM: What cut?

LAURA: It's a princess cut. I don't fucking know.

SAM: That's a little tacky.

TALIESIN: We can use it to help stick everything together,

then, if it's a little tacky, can't we?

ASHLEY: I'll go double check to see if there's

any head bits outside. SAM: Sure sure.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I'll join Pike to make sure nothing bad happens.

SAM: Can we only talk to Matt when he's just taken a bite?

MATT: Yes, please, this is why I don't eat during the game.

TRAVIS: I will also join Pike because I missed her so much.

ASHLEY: Oh Grog. TRAVIS: Yeah, buddy.

ASHLEY: That's my best buddy! TRAVIS: I know! Give me a hug!

MATT: So I'm going to have Pike and Keyleth either

each individually make investigation checks

or one of you make it with advantage. Your call.

AMRISHA: How's your investigation?

How's your Pikey Pike investigatey-gatey.

SAM: Just do it. Just do it. LAURA: Just both of you do it.

ASHLEY: It's only one. MARISHA: One for, okay okay.

We'll each roll. We'll each roll.

ASHLEY: We'll each roll? Okay.

MARISHA: Do we do the searching for a contact thing?

That's okay. 14.

ASHLEY: 18.

MATT: 18, okay.

You find a couple of errant scraps of Lieve'tel

to complete the puzzle.

SAM: Great.

LAURA: Oh cool.

MARISHA: Oh look, I also found a fossil, that's awesome.

ASHLEY: Cool.

TRAVIS: Are you going to put stuff back in

that doesn't belong?

MATT: She didn't quite come back right.

TRAVIS: Thank you for saving my life. What the fuck?!

LIAM: New powers. SAM: There's an arrowhead.

TALIESIN: I believe you're supposed to leave those

when you find them right. You're not actually

supposed to take them. That's fine.

MARISHA: Oh, don't tell anybody.

TALIESIN: No, if we all took one,

they would all be gone very quickly.

LIAM: Yeah, guys, take your time so I can eat

all of these cinnamon rolls.

ASHLEY: I think we got all the bits.

SAM: Shove them in there. What would you like

to use? Your wedding ring or a bit of magic?

TALIESIN: Just an excuse to throw a party & get another one.

LAURA: You know, everyone wasn't at the first one.

TALIESIN: I think this is a wonderful idea.

LAURA: Would that be allowed?

MATT: Using your wedding ring as a component?

Yeah, it would.

SAM: Wow, that's love.

ASHLEY: Okay.

Let me do my thing and then--

Okay, I'll put that down.

I'm going to mush all her face back together.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Maybe an extra bit in there.

MATT: An extra bit? TRAVIS: Of what?

ASHLEY: I don't know, but just

on the outside so she can pull it out

if she wanted. MARISHA: Give her the fossil piece.

Maybe it will make a cool cyborg.

LIAM: You guys are all literally the worst

and I love you so much.

MARISHA: She could-- It'd be like a battle scar.

ASHLEY: A battle scar. It could also be like a hair clip.

LIAM: Wear it like a unicorn horn.

MATT: You're not there. Shh!

MARISHA: I think if you make it like a plate,

like a scar plate, uh-huh.

ASHLEY: Okay, so I'm going to try to make it like a plate.

MARISHA: That's rad.

ASHLEY: Put everything together

real nice. MARISHA: I think she'll appreciate

us making these body modifications

for her. ASHLEY: I think she'll really

like it. MARISHA: Yeah, I think so, too.

ASHLEY: It's like she has like a souvenir from Pandemonium.

MARISHA: Exactly!

Who wouldn't want to remember this incredible time?

TALIESIN: I'm going to sit over by the fire and ignore this.

MATT: I'm just envisioning a Subway sandwich artist

and there's too much stuff in the sandwich

and they're trying to hold it closed.

(laughter) LIAM: Roll it up in the paper.

TALIESIN: Thanks for saying artist.

That makes me feel better. That was a call back.

ASHLEY: All right. TRAVIS: It'll fit. It'll fit.

ASHLEY: Wait, I was casting--

SAM and TALIESIN: It's level five.

MATT: Is it Raise Dead? ASHLEY and TALIESIN: Raise Dead.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: All right. You're all here

within Scanlan's Magnificent Mansion. You watch as

Pike scrawls out the familiar arcane-- or this would be

divine circle in this space, drawing the lines.

You've gone through this process a number of times

with your friends. A little less familiar this time,

but nevertheless an individual who has made

quite a sacrifice and put some of your heart and energy

into bringing back from the realm where her

god holds supreme, that transition.

Upon reaching out to tug against the spirit

of one who worships the Raven Queen,

let's go ahead and complete a resurrection ritual.

Who would like to apply first to this?

LIAM: Give me your heartfelt feelings after six hours.

SAM: I will contribute to this ritual.

MATT: Yes, you will.

SAM: I will excuse myself and then come back

holding a small lump of poo.

TALIESIN: It's nice of you to excuse yourself.

LIAM: Speckled. (laughter)

TRAVIS: How long were you gone? MATT: Oh god!

You fucking asshole!

SAM: I was gone for almost 15 minutes.

I like to do some reading.

TRAVIS: So you said, "I'll go first,"

and then left for 15 minutes?

(laughter)

SAM: After some grunting. It's hard to go on command.

ASHLEY: What did you read?

SAM: I read-- I don't-- maybe I read a love letter

I had written to you from before.

LAURA: Oh, nothing makes you poo faster.

SAM: Just to proofread it and make sure.

TRAVIS: Keep those in the bathroom.

SAM: I will take my little poop and I will

just smear a little bit right across her--

LAURA: Oh fucking gross.

SAM: Her forehead and sort of bless the ritual

inspire the ritual somehow, I don't know,

by composing a limerick to her.

MATT: All right.

SAM: Oh our handsome dummy Mr. Bell

and our creepy new friend Lieve'tel

to welcome them to the group I shall give them both my poop

to honor them with my mark and my smell.

ASHLEY: Oh wow.

SAM: And I hope that does something.

MATT: Roll a persuasion check with disadvantage.

SAM: Disadvantage?

MATT: Because you just put poop on her head!

SAM: Okay.

MATT: But you're still really good with persuasion.

SAM: I rolled a two, so that's 20.

(laughter)

MATT: That reduces the DC.

MARISHA: What?!

SAM: According to CritRoleStats,

I've got a persuasion of plus 18.

LAURA: Well, I have a stealth of 17, so that makes sense.

MATT: Yep.

All right and as you

smear the trail across the forehead

in a very like Simba fashion.

SAM and TALIESIN: Simba.

TRAVIS: It is time.

MATT: You sense the

soul of Lieve'tel,

who still resides being dragged across the various realms,

tugged a little closer to where the body was,

as if out of mere anger

at what you've done to her corpse.

All right. Anybody else would like to--?

TRAVIS: Who's up for Le'veon Bell?

LAURA: I'll step forward. Oh god,

I don't have anything to offer. ASHLEY: Oh Lieve'tel.

TRAVIS: Lieve'tel?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LIAM: Raven Queen listened to all that

and was like, "That tracks."

SAM: Anyone want to help our friend?

LAURA: Yeah yeah yeah, just trying to think

of what to give for it.

MARISHA: Do we have to physically give something?

LAURA: I mean, I already gave a fucking wedding ring

so it kind of-- ASHLEY: Yeah, you already

gave her your wedding ring.

SAM: Have some magic or something?

ASHLEY: I mean, we did give her that cool fossil.

MARISHA: We did.

MATT: Doesn't have to be an object. It can be words,

it can be an object, it can be an offering.

It could be anything of what you think would be

a way to call a spirit back from the dead.

LAURA: Okay, all right I'll step forward.

All right.

Well, you came here for us

and we just lost

someone we loved very much and you

were saying you were going to be with us

because of that and now you're gone as well

and I think that's pretty shitty,

hence the poop.

So I'd appreciate if you came back

and proved to us

that the Raven Queen doesn't suck complete balls.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: Maybe give us something to believe in.

That's all.

MARISHA: That was a--

ASHLEY: Amen.

MATT: Okay.

There's already been a persuasion roll,

so I'll allow a second one which will be a much higher DC.

LAURA: Oh fuck.

MATT: I should have sung a song or some shit. I don't know.

Or done a like acrobatics move or something.

MATT: I'll tell you what. You can take a persuasion

with disadvantage or an intimidation with a single roll.

LAURA: No, I'll take the persuasion. MATT: Okay.

LAURA: (sings) LIAM: Guys, this is beautiful.

SAM: Yeah it is.

LAURA: Ooh, oh no!

Persuasion 13.

MATT: 13?

I don't know, something about the not heartened

attempt at reaching out to someone you really

have no care, who for just reminds you of a sad part in your

life didn't seem to really give

a heavier tether to the realm.

LAURA: Somebody do something really good

because I didn't feel anything.

SAM: Grog? MARISHA: I'm afraid

I'd pretty much have the same mood.

LAURA: You have something, Grog? TRAVIS: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Put that down. ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: Does anyone else want to go?

SAM: No, but this person was vital in saving your life.

LAURA: Yes, yes.

TRAVIS: No, I realize.

SAM: She gave her life for yours, so make it count.

TRAVIS: Okay (clears throat).

Hello, my name is Grog Strongjaw.

We have not had the ability to meet.

I appreciate the meat that is coming out of your dome.

However, since we have not had

the pleasure of acquainting--

SAM: Yes!

ASHLEY: That's so good! That's a good one.

TRAVIS: I hope that you will consider coming back to life

so that I may thank you properly for protecting my friends.

That being said, (yelling) get your fucking ass up

because no one dies around Vox Machina!

We've had too many deaths already and I swear I will

beat you all over this room until you die a second time.

MATT: Roll an intimidation check

using your strength modifier.

LAURA: Woo.

LIAM: Whatever happens here, it will be interesting.

TRAVIS: Natural 20. (cheering)

LAURA: You fucking dick!

SAM and MARISHA: Three in a row.

LAURA: You-- SAM: Wow.

TRAVIS: Sometimes your character and you are one.

(laughter)

LAURA: You fucking-- are you serious?!

TRAVIS: It takes a certain level of legendary hero

to threaten a spirit to return to the body.

We shall see if it is enough.

The natural 20 that reduces it further

so we're looking at-- eight--

TRAVIS: We've done all we can.

LAURA: Oh no, what is it? MATT: DC was four,

rolled a five.

'Cause it reduced it to an eight to a six

and because you rolled a natural 20 it brought it to a four.

SAM: Whoa.

LAURA: But wait eight to a six, but I failed.

MATT: Yeah, no you failed but he rolled a natural 20

so I doubled it down for the hell of it.

So with a

momentary, not terribly tense pause,

(laughs)

you hear the (inhale) breath come back into Lieve'tel's body

TRAVIS: Hey hey! Hoo hoo!

SAM: You did it, Grog. TRAVIS: We did it!

LAURA: What does she look like?

Is it healed or is it just--?

MATT: It is healed. The fossil is still partially lodged

in the skull. The headache is atrocious,

as is the smell, Lieve'tel, but life has brought itself

to you once more. Your time is not done.

Apparently there is more

the Raven Queen has in store for you.

LIAM: I have not pierced the veil

in 107 years.

You are an interesting bunch. (sniffs) Is that fecal matter?

SAM: No, no, it's life.

Welcome back. ASHLEY: Yes, welcome back.

TRAVIS: Hi, my name is Grog.

I wanted to thank you in person for coming to rescue me

and for protecting my friends. ASHLEY: Yes.

LIAM: Very much worth the trouble, young man.

TRAVIS: Oh!

LIAM: I think I need a moment or two. Is there a bathroom

and where are we? SAM: Well, you're in

a mansion in the middle of Pandemonium.

LAURA: A magnificent mansion. SAM: It's my place.

MARISHA: There's a cheese platter.

SAM: There are refreshments. ASHLEY: Chicken.

SAM: No chicken anymore. LAURA: He doesn't eat

chicken anymore.

SAM: I'm a vegan. ASHLEY: Oh, I forgot about that.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we all fuck up. LAURA: It's all beans

and lentils and shit. SAM: It's all right.

They make it seem like it's meat.

ASHLEY: It tastes like chicken. SAM: Yeah.

TALIESIN: It really doesn't.

SAM: Anyway, there's some lovely facilities

and you can even use a room here.

LIAM: I'm just going to, you know--

SAM: Freshen up? LIAM: Yes.

ASHLEY: That was a-- LIAM: Do I have a mark here?

SAM: From the battle, from the battle.

ASHLEY: It's actually-- MARISHA: Super cool.

ASHLEY: Yeah, it was a fossil that she found outside.

TRAVIS: I don't know you from beforehand,

but I think you're rather striking.

LIAM: Well, that is true.

I'll be back. We'll get to know each other better.

Which way to the-- LAURA: Were you hitting

on that elf? SAM: You know, the mansion

changes shape a lot, but I think third door on your left.

LIAM: You're sure? I have been in places like this before.

SAM: No, I'm quite certain. You know what, I'll have

one of my servants accompany you. (claps)

Ladies.

MATT: About a half dozen spectral female servants

come rushing over with nice dresses,

coming over and guide your arms and shoulders

gently in the direction of the water closet to freshen up.

LIAM: Excellent. I'll be back, everyone.

LAURA: Take your time.

Get that shit off your head.

TRAVIS: Yo, nicely done. ASHLEY: You, too!

You just really just inspired her to come back.

TRAVIS: Is that what I did? ASHLEY: Yes, you did.

TRAVIS: I was actually quite angry at the end there,

but I don't need any more heartache.

ASHLEY: Sometimes you just need a good pep talk

if you're dead. TRAVIS: Yeah, I guess

that's what I did, didn't I?

ASHLEY: I think you did. TRAVIS: Thanks, man!

ASHLEY: Yeah, you did a good job.

TALIESIN: There are some side effects, I should mention.

TRAVIS: What do you mean? SAM: Of what?

TALIESIN: Well, this is not a perfect spell.

It does have some issues.

TRAVIS: Issues? TALIESIN: Well, I didn't know

it was going to work so I didn't mention anything.

MATT: You both have gone through this process previously.

It takes a few days for you to recover from the effects of

being pulled back from beyond the veil.

TRAVIS: What do you mean?

MATT: From a mechanical standpoint, Lieve'tel

is at minus four to all attack rolls,

saving throws, and ability checks

and the net penalty is reduced by one after every long rest.

LAURA: If we sleep, she'll do better.

MATT: Yeah, she'll be minus three.

LAURA: Yeah! TALIESIN: You can also,

I believe, and correct me if I'm wrong,

burn a Greater Restoration

and knock that down one more, I believe, in a pinch.

MATT: I will double check that.

TRAVIS: Well, that is amazing.

Now, may I ask you all now that we're all safe and sound

and enjoying these shitty salads,

so you fought your way to the top of a castle?

TALIESIN: We did. TRAVIS: Right.

Did you, like, decimate everything on your way through?

TALIESIN: Well!

SAM: Time was of the essence, Grog,

so we actually skipped a lot of the fighting.

We did fight some wolves?

MARISHA: Yeah, big hella hound things.

TRAVIS: Hella hounds?

MARISHA: Yeah, holla hounds. TRAVIS: Hella.

SAM: And we passed by a monster or two.

MARISHA: We successfully sneaked past a big demon guy

doing wall art. TRAVIS: What? Sneak?

MARISHA: Yeah. TRAVIS: You mean like he's still--?

MARISHA: Yeah!

SAM: Yes. Do we have to go back through this

labyrinth of horrors to get down or-- TALIESIN: We have actually

discussed how we're getting home, but we didn't--

LAURA: Go over the side maybe.

TALIESIN: I think he's speaking--

you're speaking of the entire--

SAM: No no, I was speaking specifically about

we're on top of something that we need to get off of.

TALIESIN: Well, if I recall quite a bit of it fell

so I think we're much closer to the ground at this point.

MATT: No, like ten feet

of some walls fell. TALIESIN: Well, that's a bit.

LAURA: We do have an endless rope.

SAM: Mm-hmm. LAURA: Perhaps on me.

TRAVIS: Did you want to go back down?

SAM: Oh, probably in the Bag of Holding.

LAURA: In the Bag of Holding. MATT: Yeah...

MARISHA: I could turn us into clouds

and we could just float down.

SAM: That always works. TALIESIN: It does always work.

TRAVIS: Is it a problem it's real windy outside?

TALIESIN: It's extremely windy.

LAURA: Can we control our clouds?

MATT: Make an intelligence check.

TALIESIN: Yay. TRAVIS: Do you want help with that?

TALIESIN: With disadvantage. MARISHA: Can I use wisdom?

I'm not wise about the weather?

No?

Oh, just straight intelligence, right?

MATT: Yeah. MARISHA: 19.

MATT: 19. That'd be a bad idea. (laughs)

MARISHA: It would be a bad idea.

MATT: You guys would be kites in a wind storm.

ASHLEY: We can always just climb down.

LAURA and SAM: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: Are you sure you don't want to go back down

by the big nasty now that you got your--?

TALIESIN: I don't think it quite--

I think we want to get our stuff back and get out.

TRAVIS: Oh okay.

LAURA: Here's the thing, we don't have any powerful spells

because we don't have any components.

TRAVIS: No problem, I've never had those.

LAURA: Yes, but other people do.

TRAVIS: Oh right yep, you do.

MARISHA: Could I Animal Shapes us into things that fly,

would that be a bad idea?

MATT: I mean, it will be difficult.

MARISHA: So still flying, just flying is a bad idea?

LAURA: Flying-- I didn't want to bust out my broom up here.

MATT: It's possible.

It's just going to be difficult,

like the wind is pretty intense around here

and it feels like it's near

perpetual hurricane without the moisture.

TRAVIS: Do we know how long of a fall it is from the top

to the ground because I could always just like,

"Wee!" (splat) eat it a little bit and I catch everybody.

TALIESIN: Oh, we'd have to resurrect you again.

That would be such fun. TRAVIS: I could take it.

MARISHA: If it's a thousand feet, it's a bad idea.

TRAVIS: Is it a thousand feet?

MARISHA: It-- probably.

TRAVIS: Jeez.

MATT: It's been quite a climb up here.

You don't have a good scope, necessarily,

because you guys spent a lot of it climbing

in the interior of the tower, but you've been traveling

upwards over an hour, like two plus hours

to get up through to the top of the tower.

LIAM: Should we assume that any spell that takes

any material components is busted right now?

MATT: No, you can cast any spell that has

material components that don't cost money.

Or have a money cost involved.

LIAM: While they're having this discussion,

Lieve'tel is casting Regenerate on her forehead

to return it to is pristine condition,

and Thaumaturgy to clean the gnome shit off her face.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Thaumaturgy doesn't clean shit.

LIAM: People have--

LAURA: Prestidigitation. Thaumaturgy makes

your eyes change color. LIAM: Then I'll use water then.

MATT: Yeah, water, water

actually does that job as well.

SAM: And napkins.

MARISHA: We should Heroes' Feast before we got to sleep,

because we forgot that. MATT: You hear a (popping)

as the fossil

just ejects itself from--

TALIESIN: Heroes' Feast costs components.

MARISHA: Oh the bowls.

Fuck. Never mind. TALIESIN: He took it all.

ASHLEY: Oh we can't do Heroes'-- Fuck.

TRAVIS: I've got an idea. So look, we've got to go down

through the castle thing, right?

LAURA: Possibly. TRAVIS: It's like

somewhere down there, what if we're like, "Yoo-hoo,"

and we call it up and it comes out, we run down?

MARISHA: The painting demon thing? TRAVIS: Whatever's down there.

SAM: We could, but first--is there any sort of magicking

we can do to find the location of Bob?

LAURA: Yes, I can cast Locate Object.

SAM: Without material components?

and also does that have a range, a distance range?

LAURA: Yes, a thousand feet. TALIESIN: Scrying, though.

SAM: Hmm, yeah, that's not that much.

MARISHA: I could scry. LAURA: Yes, scry.

TRAVIS: (high-pitched voice) I could scry.

MARISHA: Give me PHB, PHB.

LAURA: PHB. Fudge pop.

TRAVIS: PCP.

MARISHA: (incredulous noise)

TALIESIN: 10-4.

MARISHA: Let me see how to scry because I'm assuming

my scrying eye got stolen?

MATT: No, you still have your objects.

MARISHA: Oh, I still have my scrying eye?

MATT: Whatever you have on you that

wasn't in the Bag of Holding you still have,

unless it's a material component

that costs money.

He didn't rob you of everything you have.

LAURA: How did he do that?

He must be really good. SAM: It must be magic.

LAURA: It must be magic. MATT: It's strange,

because you watched him the entire time.

You saw where he stood like ten feet from you.

LAURA: That's right. MATT: He never came close to you.

SAM: Maybe he had invisible servants or something.

Or maybe there was like a (gasps). I've heard about

some magic where powerful practitioners can stop time.

He could have stopped time for us briefly,

robbed us all, and then come back.

TALIESIN: That seems far fetched.

LAURA: I've never heard of anything like that.

That's crazy.

SAM: I can talk to crazy people.

MARISHA: I could scry because I have a--

SAM: What'd you say? MARISHA: I could scry.

LAURA: Then do it. MARISHA: Okay.

MARISHA: I scry. MATT: Okay.

As Lieve'tel has finished washing her face

and absolving her skull of the errant matter that

you've jammed into it during the resurrection process, you

lay out the scrying ritual, focusing on and looking for--

LAURA: The tuning--

MARISHA: The tuning fork for the plane or--?

SAM: The Bag of Holding.

MARISHA: Or the Bag of Holding, right?

Is that pretty--? MATT: It's going to be

a person or an object or a place.

So it could be the guy,

it could be an object he's carrying.

It could be any of that stuff. It's up to you.

MARISHA: I'll do the guy.

In case, you know-- The guy. Bob.

MATT: Okay, all right.

ASHLEY: We're searching for Bob.

SAM: Yeah, it's the Search for Bob.

It's the title of the show.

MATT: Your spell DC is--?

SAM: He already fenced all the stuff.

TALIESIN: I don't remember how any of this works.

MARISHA: 20.

MATT: Okay.

As your vision begins to emerge and push itself

into the wind storm, you feel yourself being drawn

through this intense battering buffet of wind

from every direction. (whooshing)

And you continue to be drawn through

in this arc. You sense a direction

from where you're standing. It's pulled through,

pulled through.

MARISHA: It's Key West. Sorry, keep going. Sorry.

MATT: Eventually as it begins to arc downward

through the storm coming closer and closer,

it flashes forward and you see dark shapes.

They look like structures, partial structures,

parts of what was once a structure that sits low

upon the ground beneath the intensity of the storm

where there's still wind and sand and dust blowing through,

but it's not as dangerous as it is up top this tower

where you are.

Closer to where

when you first arrived.

There amongst the ruins, you can see there are

partially collapsed walls and a marbled floor

that is partially broken apart and gaps lie

where it seems to have sustained either serious damage

or eroded over time, the material itself

dark like a jet black metal.

Amongst these ruins, you see load-bearing pillars

that no longer maintain an upper floor,

seemingly blown away, one pillar toppled.

You see tucked along the remnants of these walls a desk

and some shelves and a bed, and there you see,

going through a bag of equipment and cataloging

all manner of things that you guys once had on your person--

Bob.

MARISHA: Fucking Bob.

With a tiny lantern and a quill just going through

with a pair of glasses on his snubbed Githzerai nose

and sets them one by one as he's taking notes.

You pull back.

MARISHA: Fucking Bob.

LAURA: It was him? MARISHA: He's squatting

in some ruins cataloging all of our stuff,

which makes me think that time is of the essence

because maybe he's going to pawn them or something.

LAURA: How do you pawn that here?

MARISHA: I don't know. I mean, there's people like Bob,

so why couldn't there be more people like Bob?

ASHLEY: What if he's just like Little Mermaid?

SAM: Oh, yeah.

ASHLEY: Like he just keeps everything.

SAM: Because he wants to be closer to humanity or something.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: He has a nice little desk and a reading area.

It actually looked very cozy.

LAURA: What if he doesn't know what

any of it is actually for?

SAM: Let's not worry too much about

Bob's backstory right now.

Your scrying eye, while powerful and amazing,

can't really pinpoint a location, can it?

MARISHA: Um, y-yeah.

MATT: I'll say you got a general direction

from where you are.

MARISHA: It's down the mountain back where we came,

hang to the left a little bit.

TALIESIN: Your other left.

MARISHA: You're right.

I was looking at the other left and then like

a collapsed building. SAM: Okay, so we can find

it just from your-- MARISHA: Yes, I think so.

LIAM: What are we discussing? How to get home?

LAURA: Well, sort of, yes. ASHLEY: Oh!

TALIESIN: Yes, actually, technically, I think so.

ASHLEY: You didn't--?

LIAM: Hmm?

SAM: Your fossil head is gone.

LAURA: To be fair, Pike, I probably wouldn't want

a fossil in my forehead either.

ASHLEY: Well, yeah. LIAM: I didn't live

to be 350 years old without learning a trick or two.

TRAVIS: You're 350 years old?

TALIESIN: She just said she didn't live to be 350--

LIAM: Don't you think I wear it well?

TRAVIS: Well, yeah. LIAM: Mr. Bell does,

don't you, Mr. Bell? TRAVIS: Yes, it looks

marvelous on you. God, I forgot I was even here.

(laughter)

Apparently, I have an accent all of a sudden.

SAM: We were talking about going to get Bob,

the fellow that we all met and who robbed from us.

Did he rob from you as well?

LIAM: Yes, he took something of great value.

He took a pinky bone of a man who died a long time ago.

SAM: Well, then perhaps you would have a motivation

for finding him as well.

MARISHA: Who's the man?

LIAM: His name was Purvan.

(snickering)

MARISHA: We know Purvan. LAURA: That was funny.

LIAM: Is it?

MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: Are you trying a find a person, a place?

SAM: We've sort of located him through Keyleth's impressive

and powerful magic. Why? Do you have a trick

up your sleeve that can help?

LIAM: Perhaps if you describe it to me I can find the place.

I can Find the Path, yes.

MARISHA: It's down the mountain towards the way we came,

hang a little bit to the left

and then you'll find some buildings--

TALIESIN: I think what she means is, what did it look like?

LIAM: Yes, what it did look like?

MARISHA: Building ruins. LAURA: With a desk

and a lantern you said. MARISHA: Uh huh, and he was

cataloging things. LIAM: And the area around it?

MARISHA: The abyssal plains. LAURA: Ruins. There was ruins.

I think it was probably windy.

MARISHA: Very, very windy. It was actually less windy,

because it was set down a little bit.

MATT: You describe the details--

MARISHA: Yeah, it's what he said.

MATT: There's rocky protrusions in the ground around it.

You can see part of a secondary floor

that still manages to linger in place

and just bundles of things kept to the side.

Boxes, chests, things that this individual Bob

seems to be keeping all his things in.

LIAM: Yeah, this spell--

MARISHA: That wafer cracker?

SAM: It doesn't work?

LIAM: I don't think I have the--no, he

buggered off with things I need.

SAM: Well, if there's something that we need,

a particular component, I can help us with that.

LAURA: How? TALIESIN: How?

SAM: I can make things with my mind.

ASHLEY: You can? LAURA: Are they worth money?

TALIESIN: Are they things that actually work?

SAM: It's called The Secret. If you think about something--

(laughter)

-you just envision it.

TALIESIN: Oh boy, oh boy.

SAM: I can only do it once

and I don't want to waste it on an egg.

LAURA: We're going to sleep, right?

I mean, we're going to sleep before we find Bob.

SAM: I could sleep, but I could use this and then sleep.

TALIESIN: Oh that's a very good idea.

MARISHA: Is it like real though, or is it like

your counterfeit furniture that you hawked?

SAM: It would be real. I think, yes.

Yes, it would be real, but I can make us a component

if you need it or I could just--

LAURA: So you could just make us a tuning fork

and we could go home? SAM: True.

TRAVIS: (as Grog) We need our stuff.

SAM: And we need revenge.

LAURA: I understand, and honestly, I don't mind

staying here. As soon as we go home,

we have to deal with the real world.

TRAVIS: (as Bell) Actually, this is a really lovely place.

What establishment are we in?

SAM: This is my home. This is my magnificent mansion.

TRAVIS: Quite rich, I must say.

SAM: I got it when the market was bottomed out

and, you know, it was a good sound investment.

TRAVIS: Low interest rate?

SAM: Yeah, I locked in 2.7. TRAVIS: Adjustable or fixed?

SAM: Fixed, bitch.

TRAVIS: Well, I am quite impressed.

Can we just stay here for--?

LIAM: You would never find a deal like that in Vasselheim.

SAM: Well, it's gentrified.

TALIESIN: What components would you need for this

particulate locate spell?

LIAM: I used this to find your friend, but-- because

he was in a location you were searching for,

but I need something from where this Bob is,

which we don't have and I don't think you can make.

TALIESIN: Oh. LAURA: Hmm.

MARISHA: I mean, if there's something

to get us down the mountain faster.

TRAVIS: (as Grog) I mean, is that really

what the big problem is? How we get down?

TALIESIN: That's the first problem.

TRAVIS: Yeah, so do that. SAM: Just go down?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: Through the building or off the side?

TRAVIS: Yep, sometimes the simplest answer is

the shortest point between two ideas.

SAM: That's actually pretty good. (laughs)

TALIESIN: Almost sensible, but at the same time,

we don't have a lot. If we have some spells that we need

and you could do this before you go to sleep

we should know precisely what spells we need

to find our way. We have a general direction

at this point, so we could just try and home in

Locate Object on occasion when we see something

on the distance, but it is difficult to see in that terrain.

I can get down the side of the tower.

I don't know about everybody else though.

MATT: I will say so you're aware, Lieve'tel.

LIAM: Yes? MATT: The spell you're trying

requires an object from the location you wish to find,

but you need to have it in your hand, right?

LIAM: Which is what I'm saying. It wouldn't work,

because I don't have anything.

LAURA: I have an idea.

Why don't you turn us all into something very small?

Percival, you put us in your pocket

and you walk on down the tower?

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

Oh shit.

TALIESIN: I'm attempting to discover

whether or not that would work.

I'm pretty sure it would.

TRAVIS: Yo, Vex, up top. Smash hands.

TALIESIN: I get about an hour out of the boots, right?

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Oh, your Spider Climbing Boots?

TRAVIS: What if we were all, like, lady bugs?

LAURA: You could run. TALIESIN: Mice will do.

TRAVIS: I don't like mice.

ASHLEY: Well, we'll be a little stronger.

LAURA: You could be a weasel, maybe.

ASHLEY: Then we wouldn't blow away, just in case.

LAURA: Yeah, ladybugs. They could blow away

and no one would notice.

ASHLEY: Then, if he put us in his pocket,

we could smash.

MATT: There's no limitation to it,

as long as you have the boots on, as long as you want to,

climb along surfaces. There's no limitation to the time.

TALIESIN: Okay, oh.

LIAM: The boots are endless, aren't they?

TALIESIN: I couldn't remember.

I thought they had an activation--

MATT: No, that's Boots of Haste.

Yours do not.

TALIESIN: All right. It's been a while.

MATT: It's all good.

LAURA: Let's sleep and do that

and then head down. MARISHA: I don't have to have anything

fancy for Animal Shapes?

LIAM: That's just druid shit, yo.

MARISHA: That's awesome. I could just do that.

TALIESIN: How long does Animal Shapes last?

MARISHA: Up to 24 hours. TALIESIN: So if you do it now?

MARISHA: It's concentration.

LAURA: We should sleep. TALIESIN: We could do it now, sleep,

and then I could just grab everybody else,

get us downstairs. LAURA: I mean, that's lovely.

MARISHA: Do we want to use Scanlan's fancy spell

to make a chalice so we can have a Heroes' Feast?

LAURA: Oh, that's also a very good idea.

SAM: We could do that. LAURA: Yeah, let's do that.

TRAVIS: Let's commit and do it.

SAM: Chalice? TRAVIS: Yep.

MARISHA: Cool, we have a plan.

ASHLEY: We also could have done that for a diamond

so she didn't have to use her wedding ring.

LAURA: Motherfucker. SAM: I was ready to.

I was ready to. LAURA: No, but it's fine.

We couldn't use my ring to make a chalice,

so there you go. SAM: There you go.

ASHLEY: That's true.

SAM: All right, we're going to do some Heroes' Feasting.

MARISHA: Yeah. Plus, you get to renew your vows!

ASHLEY: That's true. MARISHA: Can I make the cake?

TALIESIN: Maybe. LAURA: Of course.

I was thinking the Slayer's Cake. MARISHA: Slayer's Cake! Yeah!

MATT: You're trying to attempt to create--

SAM: Let me look. What is this spell?

Wrong spell, go back, come on.

With the old-- TALIESIN: Okay.

SAM: With the old Wish spell. TALIESIN: How's this Wish spell work?

MATT: You can create an object-- SAM: I can make one object

up to 25,000 gold pieces in value

that isn't magic.

MATT: Correct. SAM: A chalice qualifies, right?

MATT: Correct. The gem encrusted-- well,

it's a bowl, technically--

worth at least a thousand gold pieces.

You can definitely do that.

SAM: I will wish for a chalice

worth 24,999 gold pieces.

MATT: All right, how would you like to wish for this?

SAM: How would I like to wish for this?

MATT: Yes. SAM: Oh boy.

I will sing a song.

I will sing--

fuck.

(like Cher) ♪ If you believe in life after gnome

(echoing) ♪ after gnome, after gnome

I can see something so pure and clean

I really can't help but drink out of it oh

ASHLEY: Keep going.

SAM: ♪ If you believe in life after gnome

(echoing) ♪ After gnome, after gnome

That's it.

MATT: Okay, as you visualize in your mind,

the 24,999 gold piece bowl,

the 24,999 gold piece bowl,

you guys watch, apparating within Scanlan's hand,

this bowl of solid platinum that is encrusted

with diamonds, like jam-packed. We're talking

like the gaudiest of rhinestone iPad or iPhone covers,

just bejeweled all over.

It's grotesque.

SAM: With a little clockwork piece where if you--

(click) it can extend to have a little stem to it.

MATT: There you go, yeah, yeah.

LAURA: Pop me off one of those jewels, Scanlan.

LIAM: Like a collapsing retractable cup?

SAM: Yeah, it's like a bowl, but then you can

make it into a wine glass and then inside

are all our faces etched.

TALIESIN: You got it on Sky Mall.

It's a bowl you got on Sky Mall. SAM: Yeah.

LIAM: Can't we just wish for boxed wine?

LAURA: Seriously.

Give me one of those jewels. Pop it out.

SAM: Then it would only be worth 24,989.

Sure.

Here you go. Stick it in Lieve'tel's head.

All right, let's drink.

MATT: All right, so are you guys taking a night's rest?

MARISHA: Heroes' Feast and then night's rest.

MATT: Okay, so who's casting Heroes' Feast?

ASHLEY: I'll cast it.

MATT: The feast is summoned, a beautiful spread

of divinely crafted and conjured food,

much like the spread upon this table,

crackers and cinnamon rolls and cheeses and grapes

and meats. It's delightful.

TRAVIS: Give me a grape. SAM: I want that meat.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm. MATT: As part of that,

everyone becomes cured of all diseases and poisons.

LAURA: Yay. MARISHA: Woo.

MATT: You're immune to poison and being frightened.

You make all wisdom saving throws with advantage

and, Pike, go ahead and roll 2d10 for everyone

to increase their maximum hit points.

TRAVIS: Oh shit. LAURA: Immune to poison and fear?

MATT: Correct.

SAM: Just wisdom saving throws. LAURA: No, all saving throws.

MATT: No, wisdom saving throws. LAURA: And death saves.

LIAM: Death saves, too. MATT: And death saves. Wait.

ASHLEY: 12.

TRAVIS: What is it?

LAURA: And we get hit points?

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

MATT: No, no death saves, just wisdom saves.

LAURA: Oh really? MATT: Yep.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: Beacon of Hope.

We're confusing the chalice with Beacon of Hope.

MATT: Correct. LAURA: Damn it. Okay, sorry about that.

MATT: It's okay.

LIAM: Give me that cracker!

LAURA: And we add how much to our

hit points total? ASHLEY: Ten total.

MATT: So ten hit points

added to everyone's maximum hit point total

for the next 24 hours. LAURA: Woo!

SAM: Let's all sleep.

LAURA: Wait, are we turning into animals before

we go to sleep so that we Keyleth saves a spell?

MARISHA: No, it's a concentration spell.

TALIESIN: Then no, nevermind. MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: Pike?

ASHLEY: Yes.

SAM: What-- (clears throat) what room will

you be sleeping in t-tonight? In yours?

ASHLEY: Well, I was thinking so, but--

SAM: Okay, cool. I'll just have them run up

some cold water for you.

ASHLEY: Thank you. You're sleeping in your room, right?

SAM: Yeah, my double wide, yeah.

ASHLEY: Your double wide?

Mine's only a twin.

SAM: Everyone has a twin bed except for me, yes.

ASHLEY: Oh, you have the double wide?

SAM: The double wide in the shape of the heart, yes.

ASHLEY: I didn't realize it was in the shape of a heart.

SAM: It is. Yes, it is.

ASHLEY: Do you sleep like this or

do you sleep in the middle of it?

SAM: I sleep whatever way suits me that night.

ASHLEY: All over it? SAM: All over.

Sometimes just near it. Sometimes I stand

in the middle of the bed and just hop up and down a bunch.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Can and I come in and just hop on it for a while?

SAM: You want to come in with me?

ASHLEY: Yeah. SAM: All right, yes.

It's a little tricky because it is a water bed.

ASHLEY: Oh. SAM: It doesn't--doesn't

have a lot of bounce to it, but if you time

the waves, it'll fling you up.

TRAVIS: Sprain your ankle.

ASHLEY: I'll give it a try.

SAM: Yeah. We'll have a jumping on the bed party.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Are you jumping on the bed? SAM: Uh huh.

TALIESIN: Question, did you take your armor off

before getting on the water bed and jump on the bed?

SAM: Oh no.

TALIESIN: I feel as if that's relevant.

ASHLEY: I did.

TALIESIN: Oh, dammit.

MATT: Everyone's gotten comfortable.

LAURA: Come along, Mr. Bell. You're with me.

Let me teach you the wisdom of the ages.

SAM: Oh, Jesus.

TRAVIS: Is that in reference to some sort of meditation--?

LIAM: I pull him by the beard to my room.

(laughter)

LAURA: Some people get frisky when they get brought

back to life, you know. It happens. LIAM: Stiffness.

TRAVIS: Minus three to all checks.

(laughter)

MATT: (southern accent) This is a house of sin.

(laughter)

Oh my.

(laughter)

MATT: All right, so as all of you retire to your evening,

you guys have a water bed bouncing party.

ASHLEY: It's pretty cute.

MATT: Yeah. (laughter)

LAURA: You can say it. I rang his bell. It happened.

MATT: There you go. LAURA: Ooh.

SAM: Nice. I like it.

TALIESIN: I'm just going to say the kids are gone.

Just putting it out there.

MARISHA: I slowly back out of the room

when Vex makes eye contact with me.

(laughter)

Sorry, I'm a slow eater. I'm going to go.

MATT: And Grog? TRAVIS: What?

MATT: You just sleep on the floor like a dog?

TRAVIS: Fuck yeah. Where else would I be, man? Yeah.

LAURA: Your little sand training pit?

Don't you love it down there?

TRAVIS: Oh yeah! There's a sand pit!

I go find my favorite spot and

I spin twice in a circle and then get--

ASHLEY: Aww. (laughter)

TRAVIS: That's comfy.

ASHLEY: Buddies.

Oh, it's so good to be back.

MATT: All right, night's rest comes to you all.

You awaken the next morning, fully healed,

your spells restored,

still under the effects of the Heroes' Feast.

The day is yours. You all gather in the main central

foyer chamber of the Magnificent Mansion,

some well-rested, some not as much.

You're now reduced to a minus three penalty to attacks,

saving throws, and ability checks.

Anything else you guys would like to do before you

continue with your journey?

SAM: Just real quick, we're going to do the mouse thing?

TALIESIN: I'm going to get us off this tower.

LAURA: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. SAM: All right.

TALIESIN: Then we'll-- LAURA: I'm going

to cast Pass Without a Trace on you, dear,

before we go. Just right before.

TALIESIN: Right. LAURA: Will that stick

if I cast Pass Without a Trace and then turn into a mouse?

MATT: Yeah, you're still concentrating on the spell.

LAURA: Okay.

(clears throat)

TALIESIN: I'm going to peek out the door

to see what it looks like out there.

MARISHA: Before we go to--

Okay, it's a long journey down.

You're going to be pretty much by yourself.

Don't fuck this up, okay?

TALIESIN: The worst thing I can do is just drop everybody

off the side and you'll just turn into humans

once you hit the ground and will just be in slight pain.

MARISHA: Well, all those hit points will carry over

and I imagine the hit points of a mouse

are about the same amount as the hit points of a goldfish

so I don't want to potentially fuck that up.

TALIESIN: Perhaps a bag of sparrows or some such.

MARISHA: I'm going to...

It takes a lot, but just let me--here.

And I meditate and I'm going to cast my 9th-level spell

and give Percy Foresight.

MATT: Oh shit. SAM: Wow.

MARISHA: Which just lasts for eight hours.

TALIESIN: Oh, oh oh, brain freeze. Oh god, oh god.

LAURA: What did you just do to him?

TALIESIN: I don't know.

MARISHA: You might feel a little adrenaline rush,

little light headed. You can't be surprised,

you have an advantage on all attack rolls, ability checks,

saving throws, and other creatures have disadvantage

on attack rolls against you.

TALIESIN: What? MATT: For the next 8 hours.

LAURA: Whoa, that's amazing. MATT: As Keyleth pulls her

fingers away, you look towards her

and, every moment, you're seeing two moments at once.

You're seeing the moment you're in and a moment

six seconds ahead of you.

TALIESIN: I know everything! (laughter)

MATT: It's a dual reality and, at first, it's really

frightening and it takes a moment for you to focus.

TALIESIN: I don't even know

how to process what you just did to me,

but I'll figure it out. MARISHA: You tap into,

like, plant magic and there might be multiple timelines.

TALIESIN: I'm going to tap into the Player's Handbook

is what I'm going to tap into.

This will be mine for a minute.

ASHLEY: I'm going to throw something

at the back of his head real quick.

MATT: All right, roll an attack at disadvantage.

ASHLEY: Oh, okay.

TRAVIS: Oh, Pike.

MATT: Add your strength modifier.

ASHLEY: Yep. Uh, six.

MATT: Six. What do you throw at him?

ASHLEY: A vase.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I have intercept anyway so, yeah-- I can, yeah.

MATT: You throw the vase

and he catches it in his hand.

ASHLEY: Dang it, you see everything.

He knew it was coming.

TRAVIS: Are we attacking Percy now?

ASHLEY: No, I was just seeing if his Foresight was working.

TRAVIS: Fore--?

TALIESIN: Brilliant.

LAURA: --sight, darling. Foresight.

MARISHA: It gave him--

just enhanced his mind's eye.

Sorry, did that hurt?

TALIESIN: No, it was-- I'm literally letting you do this

because I know it's happening two seconds early.

Just making that point.

TRAVIS: Let's go! TALIESIN: Right.

LAURA: Wait, sorry, hold on, you've got a thing.

Lieve'tel casts Death Ward on Vex.

LAURA: What was it?

LIAM: Just a bit of lint.

Perfect now.

LIAM: You're Death Warded!

MATT: Death Warded, do it.

TALIESIN: All right.

LAURA: Death Ward.

TRAVIS: So what are we getting transformed into?

SAM: We're going to do mice.

TALIESIN: Or small sparrows,

so that you can't technically fall.

TRAVIS: Oh oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, birdies.

TALIESIN: Some tiny birdies.

You'll get flung around a bit,

but at least you can dive down at a speed.

MARISHA: Are we all fine with being birds

shoved in your pocket?

TRAVIS: Raise your hand

if you're fine with being a bird.

LIAM: (coos)

TALIESIN: I mean, just on principle.

MARISHA: Okay.

How does Sir Bertrand Bell feel?

TRAVIS: (as Bell) Aye!

MARISHA: I turn us all into Birds Machina.

MATT: Except for Percy.

MARISHA: Except for Percy, right.

LAURA: Oh wait, I cast Pass Without a Trace.

MATT: Okay, you cast Pass Without a Trace.

Concentrating. You finish the spell.

All of you revert into birds.

Still inside the mansion, correct?

You all flutter around

and land across Percy's shoulders.

He's got a little small gathering of sparrows.

MARISHA: They've all got a little bit different flavors.

Scanlan and Pike are love birds.

LAURA: I got a little turquoise feather.

MARISHA: Yeah, you're like the little indigo buntings.

MATT: You can't talk. You're a bird.

I'm a cardinal.

You're a black canary. MATT: Percy, what are you doing?

TALIESIN: I'm putting on my mask--

MARISHA: Grog's a pigeon.

TALIESIN: -- so I can see and not have things blind.

I'm opening the door to look out.

MATT: Okay, you open the door.

(wind whistling)

Wind still blasting by. TALIESIN: Everything look reasonable?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TALIESIN: With advantage.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Oh that's nice, 23.

MATT: Well, actually it would be a single roll.

TALIESIN: No, advantage.

MATT: Disadvantage because there's no light.

You're looking into pure darkness.

TALIESIN: Oh, it's pure darkness? MATT: Yes.

LAURA: Shit.

SAM: One more roll.

TALIESIN: 14.

MATT: 14. From what you can ascertain

with the little bit of light

that's coming out of the mansion door and in front of you,

you can still see the front of the tower.

It looks the same,

but it is pitch black beyond.

It is a lightless void space,

from what you can ascertain.

You and your arm filled with birds.

TALIESIN: They're all in the pockets.

MATT: So you've jammed a bunch of birds in your pockets

and you're standing there looking out into darkness.

TALIESIN: I am going to just make a bloody break

for the side of the wall.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: You can't see anything?

TALIESIN: Pretty much not.

LAURA: Do you have fire?

Do you have anything to set on fire? TALIESIN: I do, actually.

What did I used to do for this?

I have a thing. LAURA: You have, like, a lantern.

Don't you have a lantern with a--

MARISHA: Like a directional--

LAURA: Yeah, a directional lantern.

TALIESIN: I do.

LIAM: It is literally (pigeon cooing).

MATT: It's literally birds are in your pocket.

TALIESIN: I know, I do have a lantern.

So I'm definitely trying to get it--

MATT: You bring out the lantern and you go bolting.

As soon as you exit,

your feet hit the stone floor at the top of the tower,

you rush towards the edge where the wall

that seemed to encompass the peak of the tower

had crumbled forward.

You step down, your feet touching the stones

as you head-- TALIESIN: Full speed.

MATT: Full sprint.

TALIESIN: I'm going to try and give myself

a little bit of unanticipated movement

in an attempt to just be difficult to hit.

MATT: Right. The Foresight's going to help you on this

because you are running through.

It's disadvantage on the stealth check

but you have advantage because of Foresight

so it's a straight roll. Roll a stealth check.

LAURA: Plus ten.

TALIESIN: That's...

35.

MATT: Okay.

Very quietly, you go running down the side.

Your mask is pushed up into your face as both

the blasting of the wind and the force

in which you are piercing down the side vertically

of Howler's Crag.

You're having to bring one hand up

to hold the straps in place

so it doesn't end up being carried off.

You can see the portions of your mask

where the eyes are guarded by glass.

The glass begins to (cracking)

and crack from the sheer force

of sand and dust that's hitting it,

but it's keeping it. It's keeping.

You're rushing down.

Make a perception check with advantage.

TALIESIN: Natural 20.

So that's...

29.

MATT: You come to a portion of the shelf

where the rocks are very loose.

You're running down

and right as you're about to leap forward

to place your foot at a place

where the rock would not be able to sustain your weight

and send you tumbling over the edge,

you just dart to the left,

and manage to catch a part of natural--

sorry, of carved stone

that is jutting out from that side

from some sort of structure

that either has been absorbed by this tower

or once existed there long before.

Instead, you use that to kick off

and continue piercing downward.

You're now about a third down the side of the mountain,

hearing all these birds inside your pockets.

You guys are all being crushed and knocked around

and it's not a pleasant experience.

TRAVIS: (hooting) MARISHA: (bird call)

TALIESIN: Stop trying to help.

MARISHA: Look, Dagon has made some weird fucking noises.

TALIESIN: Has anything--

have I gotten a vibe of anything around?

MATT: You do because as you're looking down

on one of the little--

there's a little outcropping

and you can see two howlers

that are currently curled up, one of them getting up

and looking out and sniffing on the wind.

TALIESIN: I'm going to go away from that, then.

MATT: Yep, you rolled high enough stealth

because you're maintaining your stealth.

They don't seem to notice you as you pass by.

TALIESIN: I'm going to keep trying--

I'm going to try and, not necessarily--

now that I've got a movement going,

I'm going to try and be more cautious

rather than fast at this point. I'm going to keep a good

speed, but I'm starting to, like, trade.

MATT: Okay.

You make your way down two-thirds of the mountain side.

Make another perception check, please.

TALIESIN: Not quite as well as last time,

but that's okay. That's...

28.

MATT: 28.

As you go rushing down, you leap off one ledge

and right as your feet leave

or are about to leave the edge

of this cliff face,

you look and see what is an opening.

There is a drop that goes into a chamber inside.

You don't see what's in the chamber.

It's just pitch black from your vantage point.

You only have a directional light.

You manage to pull back,

not quite peeling the last bit of

the ball of your foot off of the stone

and pull yourself back in, righting it,

curving around the edge,

manage to avoid plummeting into whatever chamber was below.

TRAVIS: Go in.

MATT: Fucking Foresight.

You dart around and continue piercing down towards the base

until, eventually, the fairly vertical decline

begins to level off into a gradual leveling

until eventually-- MARISHA: I can actually

use this spell. It's nice.

MATT: Until eventually, you reach solid flat ground.

You can see the various piercing bits of punched rock

that are jutting out of the nearby elements

of the crag and the cliffs that surround it.

TALIESIN: Is there cover anywhere around here?

MATT: There is cover, yeah.

TALIESIN: I'm going to run towards cover.

MATT: Okay. You dart over towards cover.

TALIESIN: I'm letting everyone know we're clear.

MATT: Okay, you all get jostled inside the pockets.

TALIESIN: We're moving birds from my pocket

and placing them on the--

behind whatever stone we're covering.

MATT: Okay, which bird do you put there first?

TALIESIN: Keyleth.

MATT: Okay, you set Keyleth there. You set her down.

The wind (whoosh) and just takes you.

You're a tiny bird in a huge wind.

TALIESIN: I attempt catch her.

MATT: Attempt to catch her? TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Go ahead and make a dexterity check with advantage.

LAURA: Oh god.

TALIESIN: That was terrible, wow.

Nine. LAURA: Oh!

MATT: You set Keyleth down and go back to your pocket.

She just goes (wind whistling).

You try and reach out and just nothing

and her bird form, flapping wings out of control,

just vanishes into the shadow.

MARISHA: What should I do?

LAURA and ASHLEY: Drop it.

MARISHA: Well--

MATT: You're being carried away and buffeted.

MARISHA: If I drop it, it drops all of us.

TRAVIS: Drop the shit. Look, he's rolling dice!

MARISHA: I drop it.

MATT: Okay, you drop the form,

then plummet about ten feet hitting the ground

and take five points of bludgeoning damage

as you fall, bouncing a bit on the rock.

Percy.

TALIESIN: My coat is ruined, isn't it?

MATT: Your coat is torn asunder

as the rest of Vox Machina

just Alien burst out of the front of the chest,

thrusting you back against the stone

that you're hiding from.

SAM: (yelling) TALIESIN: (shushing)

LAURA: I was in his pants pocket,

just putting that out there.

MATT: The pants are kind of ruined, too.

LIAM: Canon!

MATT: You can still wear them,

the waist band is maintained,

but you have a giant split along the front.

SAM: You're wearing Hulk pants now?

MATT: Yes.

We have Hulk pants Percy with his--

three-armed, Hulk pants Percy with his--

LIAM: First, it was the butt flap.

Now, it is the front flap.

TRAVIS: Can't keep those pants on.

TALIESIN: No pants Percy, goddamn it.

MATT: Eventually, Keyleth walks back,

a little battered from the storm.

TALIESIN: Sorry.

MARISHA: I'm good.

Just took the air out of me a little bit.

TALIESIN: No, it's all right.

MARISHA: I think you should lead.

SAM: Are we closer, Keyleth? Are we close?

MARISHA: Yeah, it's this way...?

MATT: Make a perception check

based on the direction of Howler's Crag

and where you were.

MARISHA: Oh! Fuck, my perception was great.

25.

MATT: 25.

MARISHA: No wait, 23.

MATT: Based on where Howler's Crag is,

based on the direction where you've now exited

and Percival, keeping very much in line

where you placed or told him since you exited down,

and you made your path pretty well,

you have a very strong idea

of the direction you're supposed to be traveling to,

at least get in the ballpark of where your destination.

LAURA: Keyleth? MARISHA: Yeah?

LAURA: Can you put up that windshield one more time?

MARISHA: Oh yeah! TALIESIN: Thank you!

MATT: With that, the windshield back up.

You guys have filtered in.

You, for the first time, are really--

you got a little bit up there

in the tower as well.

Wind, sand, whatever. That's weird.

TRAVIS: That makes it a lot better. Man!

You picked a weird vacation spot.

MARISHA: I really need those sock puppets.

TALIESIN: It really will help.

LIAM: I'm going to pull out the Rod of Alertness

and walk towards the front next to Keyleth

and lead the way.

TALIESIN: Thank you. MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: (as Bertrand) I feel like I have a good idea

of where we're heading.

LAURA: Lead the way, Bertrand.

TRAVIS: No, no, I'm a team player.

It's time for you to lead, Leyleth.

MARISHA: Wow.

You know what? He believes in me as a leader, though.

I'll take that.

Yeah.

TRAVIS: I'm in a good mood this morning.

LAURA: [inaudible]

TRAVIS: Yes!

LIAM: I'm still going to look for danger.

MATT: Hmm?

LIAM: Still going to look for danger as we move forward.

MATT: Sure, you got it.

LIAM: With Guidance.

Go ahead and make your perception check.

LIAM: Which is at advantage because of the rod with Guidance

with my negative three.

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: That was a 19 minus three.

Gets me down to 16.

Yeah, 16.

MATT: 16, okay.

Do you guys have a light source currently

or are you still going

with Percy's lantern? LIAM: Sorry, 26.

MATT: Okay. Do you guys have another light source

or are you just still going off of the lantern of Percy's?

LIAM: Well, is it safe to, do you think?

TALIESIN: Probably not.

LAURA: I mean, that's what we did before, right?

MATT: No, you had Pike's finger on Light last time.

ASHLEY: Yes, we did.

MATT: Your call if you want to keep it.

TALIESIN: I'll keep using this

for as long as we've got it, then.

It's easy to douse and bring back up

and it's a bit in containment.

MATT: Looking ahead, there's nothing immediately

that sets off your interior alarms.

Make a survival check if you don't mind, Keyleth.

MARISHA: Don't fuck me, Gil.

TALIESIN: (high-pitched) Ah!

MARISHA: 28.

MATT: Okay, great.

So a few things.

In keeping with the dust and the sand that pushes through

and blasting you,

you concentrate on your memory of the Scrying spell

and the essence of your consciousness

being pulled through and remembering that feeling

and seeing the little bits of shadows,

of masses that seemed to appear

and pass you throughout the storm,

you begin to recognize some of these shapes

and know that you're on the right path.

The first hour of traveling does go through,

relatively uneventful.

You do, however, Lieve'tel and Vex,

you will notice this as well

because of your passive perception being so high.

You swear that you both feel

like a rhythmic distant rumble,

like a (rumbling).

LAURA: Do you feel that?

LIAM: Yes.

LAURA: Does it feel like the earth is shaking or something?

LIAM: Does it feel like it's coming toward us?

MATT: It's hard to tell.

It's very faint.

LAURA: I put my ear to the ground.

MATT: Okay, make a perception check.

LAURA: 28.

MATT: 28.

It's definitely moving,

but you don't know if it's coming near

or far from you.

It just is present.

TALIESIN: Near!

Far!

LAURA: There's something potentially underground.

It's moving around.

It's something living.

SAM: Well, let us know if it gets closer.

MATT: Okay, so you continue to listen

or do you keep moving?

LAURA: Every 30 feet, I'll just give a little listen.

MARISHA: Do we all have Pass Without a Trace on us?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Pass Without a Trace lasts for?

LAURA: An hour. MATT: An hour.

So you have to recast it if you want to.

LAURA: I can do that. I'll recast it. Sure, why not?

MATT: Everyone make a stealth check for me, please.

Two for you.

TRAVIS: (as Grog) Got it.

(as Bertrand) You've got it.

ASHLEY: Piece of shit!

LAURA: Wait no, I've got to have my math wrong here.

TRAVIS: Bertrand rolled an 11--

MATT: Plus ten for Pass Without a Trace?

TRAVIS: 21 and Grog rolled a 31.

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: Wow. So I rolled a two,

but with all of everything,

it brought me to 18.

SAM: Wow! LAURA: Nice.

40.

TRAVIS: Four zero?

LIAM: 22.

MARISHA: 24.

TALIESIN: 32.

SAM: Natural 20, 33.

TALIESIN: Woo! ASHLEY: Dang.

MATT: Continuing to move--

continuing to move along,

it doesn't seem to be getting any further from you,

which means either it's keeping in pace with you

or it's just omnipresent.

You're unable to really make it out.

LAURA: But it feels like it's moving?

MATT: I would say because of how high you rolled,

I would say it does feel like it's moving, yes.

LAURA: Hmm, weird, this is weird.

I don't like it.

TALIESIN: If it doesn't seem like it's getting any closer,

but it doesn't seem like it's getting any further,

but it sounds like it's moving,

it means that we're probably being tracked.

TRAVIS: (as Grog) It's probably an oasis.

LAURA: Or maybe it's just hanging out next to us.

TRAVIS: I've heard about these.

TALIESIN: What is an oasis, Grog?

TRAVIS: You look in the distance

and there's a beer garden

and the closer you get,

the beer turns to water

and everybody cries.

TALIESIN: A beer or a beard?

TRAVIS: A beer garden. What did you think I said?

TALIESIN: Beer garden? TRAVIS: Yeah.

You've never heard of a beer garden before?

ASHLEY: You get close and everybody cries?

TRAVIS: Yeah, it's very sad.

ASHLEY: Oh, it's sad?

TRAVIS: Yeah, because you're like: "Beer! Ale!

"I'm so parched. It's the desert."

Then you get there and it's just fucking water.

MARISHA: That's not an oasis. That's a mirage.

That's what you're thinking of.

TRAVIS: Don't confuse yourself, love,

these things are very complicated.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: As you're having this conversation,

I need everyone to make a wisdom saving throw.

(groaning)

MARISHA: With advantage!

SAM: Oh, Pandemonium.

TALIESIN: Ew.

Even with advantage--

Without advantage, it would've been awful.

SAM: 16 for me.

MATT: Saving throw, yes.

16. Percival?

TALIESIN: 11.

MATT: Keyleth? MARISHA: 32.

MATT: Lieve'tel?

LIAM: 16.

LAURA: 18.

ASHLEY: 22.

TRAVIS: Bertrand rolled...

a nine

and Grog rolled a 15.

MATT: All right.

SAM: Did Bertrand just die?

MATT: The maddening winds,

the maddening winds of Pandemonium

continue to buffet you from all sides

as you progress towards your destination.

All of you manage to keep it at bay

except for once again,

Bertrand Bell takes a point of exhaustion.

TRAVIS: (as Bertrand) Not a problem.

MATT: Adding it to the points you already had, I believe.

No, you did lose one from the night of long rest,

so you just gain it back.

LIAM: Almost a full night. Thank you.

TALIESIN: Ah!

LAURA: Ah-ha.

TALIESIN: (sarcastic laughter) SAM: Yeah!

TRAVIS: One point. SAM: Fucking!

TRAVIS: So one point.

SAM: Because you be fucking.

MATT: Keyleth, could you make another survival check

for me, please?

MARISHA: Oh boy. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

TALIESIN: Oh!

MARISHA: 27.

MATT: 27. Great. MARISHA: 15 plus 12.

MATT: That's wonderful. All right.

Partway into your second hour

of heading towards your destination,

Keyleth leading you forward,

you guys begin to see on the outskirts with a bit of light

that Percival is pushing forward with his directed lantern.

You see branches

and eventually as you stop and pull forward,

there is a massive tree

here in the middle of Pandemonium's ground.

MARISHA: Did I see that when I Scryed?

MATT: No. MARISHA: Oh, okay.

MATT: At least,

the shape moved by too fast. LAURA: Hey, there's a tree.

MARISHA: There is.

LAURA: We can Travel Via Plants or something.

MARISHA: Not between planes.

LAURA: Shit, never mind.

MARISHA: But if we find another tree,

we can get back to this one.

TALIESIN: We sure that's a tree?

MARISHA: I don't know.

TRAVIS: (as Grog) What do you mean?

TALIESIN: Why would there be a tree in Pandemonium?

LAURA: Huh, wait, no, that's stupid.

TALIESIN: What?

LAURA: I was just wondering if this was where

we fought the wolfy things

because trees grow from shit now--

TRAVIS: (as Bertrand) I'm quite familiar with

the foliage here in Pandemonium.

I can tell you it is just a tree, nothing more.

LAURA: What does the tree look like?

MATT: It appears to be slightly patinaed,

as it was made from iron

and then, over time,

had gained a teal type of

slow growth over it.

It looks solid and unearthly.

It is very