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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: #Momsplaining with Kristen Bell: Vagina Myths with Andy Lassner

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Oh, hi there.

I'm Kristen Bell, and I have a vagina.

Chances are, if you're watching this, you or someone

you know does too.

The vagina is a powerful machine.

It's also quite mysterious.

Today, I'm going to go deep into the vagina

and learn more about it.

And just as an FYI, I'm going to say vagina about 100 more

times in this episode.

So you're welcome.

Sit back, relax while we discover

and uncover vagina myths.

Vagina.

(SINGING) To all you moms out there doing it right.

I am here with this amazing OB/GYN Dr. Sheri Ross,

and this is Victoria, who is a first-time mom.

Victoria, how pregnant are you?

I am two weeks away from giving birth.

Whoa!

38 weeks.

How do you feel?

Large.

Yeah.

Large.

Don't you look adorably cute.

Thank you.

All right, well, we'll be standing by.

Obviously, I'm here to assist.

I'm here.

I have my gloves.

Oh, good.

Perfect.

I've got my gloves too.

I wanted to help gather some information,

so I invited my very good friend and Ellen Show executive

producer Andy Lassner.

Hi.

Hi!

We had so much fun last time when we were hanging out

on Momsplaining.

Uh-huh.

Breathe, breathe, breathe.

You're doing great.

[BLEEP]

You did things to my area.

Yeah.

Andy, you do not have a vagina that I know of, correct?

I do not have a vagina.

OK, but I bet you're interested in vaginas.

Yeah.

Did you know what--

What is happening?

The clitoris has--

Stop.

Twice-- the clitoris.

Is a clitoris or clitoris?

Tomato, tomato.

Your choice.

Which do you prefer, Andy?

Just let me know which one you prefer.

Why is this happening?

However you want to say it.

No, but if--

Clitoris, go ahead.

Clitoris, yes!

That the clitoris has twice as many nerve endings

as the penis?

No, I know it's sensitive.

Yeah, all right, here's some myths we'd like you to bust.

Let's hear it.

You can't get pregnant on your period.

You can get pregnant.

Bingo.

Also, I'll bust a myth that's not even on here.

You can get pregnant in a hot tub

because that's where we conceived our second child--

in a hot tub in Hawaii at our friend's house.

Fun fact, both of our kids were conceived at friends' houses.

Do you know where you conceived?

Probably at my house.

Very boring.

Do you know where you conceived your kids?

Encino, California.

Oh, all right.

In the home, I believe.

Great.

A bedroom.

Probably, yeah.

Probably, but maybe not.

Could have been the family room.

Whoa, Andy, it's a family show for [BLEEP] sake.

Myth number two, bigger is better?

Bigger is not better, most women would say.

Thank you.

I'm OK.

I was so nervous for that answer.

The average penis is 5.7 inches, and in girth-- thickness--

thickness.

Pay attention.

It's 4--

She said girth, it's funny.

Well, that's--

Go ahead. it's what?

4.8 centimeters.

There is treatment remedies if you have a partner that

has a large penis.

I brought along some dilators that a lot of women

don't know about it.

And you're stretching out your--

The entrance, the entrance to the vagina.

[LAUGHTER]

I can't.

I'm sorry, Doctor.

Well, this is-- but this is really important.

I'm in hell right now.

This is--

No, this is Earth.

This is something you gotta deal with.

I know, but you could have found someone

who doesn't have the maturity level of an 8-year-old, maybe.

Can diet affect your vagina?

The foods you want to get that help your vagina smell

and taste good are going to be pineapple--

Write this down, write this down.

Stop.

Kiwi, blueberries, melon, lemon, cucumbers--

Just a fruit salad.

Greens-- well, certain kinds.

No bananas in this.

No bananas.

The bad, garlic, onions, brussel sprouts,

broccoli, cauliflower--

Oh, no.

Is the vagina self-cleaning?

Well, it sort of is.

I like to think about the vagina and vulva like your oven

at home, which is self-cleaning.

Me too.

But you still have to clean the stovetop, the exterior.

We hydrate, we clean it, we moisturize.

I didn't know we should hydrate it.

Did you know we were supposed to be hydrating?

No idea.

I'm learning a lot.

Yeah.

Let me just tell you that.

Our vulva will be much happier and less prone to dryness

and itchy and irritation.

Happy vulvas.

Can you lose a tampon up there?

Oh God.

That's my nightmare.

I like to think of it like a sock.

It has an end point--

It's a sock, it's an oven.

What else?

The vagina is not a storage unit.

I've been trying to tell you that.

Well, how else am I going to move my drugs?

Is it unsafe to have sex during pregnancy because it

feels like there's not--

does it feel like you have a lot of space down there right now?

Not anymore.

The lower the baby goes, I'm like,

what's it going to hit if we have sex?

Well, you know, it's completely safe

because it's wrapped in a beautiful sack.

But women, unfortunately, don't feel

that sexy during pregnancy.

My husband told me it felt like he was cheating on me.

He loved it.

He said your back is so broad.

And orgasms can help bring on contractions.

And you can do it with or without your partner.

All right.

Now we're talking.

You do uterus.

All right, well thank you so much for talking with us today.

Andy, I feel like we learned a lot here,

and I feel like we gotta spread the word.

We gotta tell the world about this stuff, so come on.

Where?

Where are we going?

All right, excuse me, excuse me.

What's your name?

Rebecca.

Hi, Rebecca.

I'm Kristen.

Would you play a game with us?

Yeah, of course.

Stand right here.

I'm Andy.

True or false, orgasms--

(YELLING) orgasms can relieve menstrual cramps.

[SQUEAKING]

Rebecca.

I'm gonna say true.

[DING]

Bingo, it's true.

They can relieve menstrual cramps.

And also, never turn down an orgasm.

My grandma never did.

She has 12 kids.

No way.

Yeah.

What do Kegel exercises do?

Make the vagina stronger.

Follow up to that, am I doing Kegels right now?

You might be because we can't tell.

That's right.

You got it right, Tyler.

I got the first part right.

Yeah, you did, Andy.

Geez.

The average length of a vagina is three to four inches.

How does it accommodate something bigger?

When you get aroused the canal stretches.

That's exactly right.

When aroused, the vagina can double in size.

Guess it's more of a grower than a shower.

The vagina has over 1,000 nicknames.

Name three.

Does vajayjay count?

100%

That's what it's called in my household.

[BLEEP]

Stop!

Stop!

Yes!

Your mother is right there.

I'm going to give you a prize.

You did well, I think.

I'm gonna give you a prize.

You did really well.

Thank you.

This is a pineapple--

Oh my God.

Obviously-- you'll thank me later.

There's a reason for this.

Explain why.

Dr. Sheri taught me.

It helps--

[LAUGHTER]

It's-- good.

It helps with.

You dug this hole.

Get yourself out of it.

Is flavor involved?

You know what I found out this morning from a doctor--

get out of here.

From the doctor, we're supposed to treat our vaginas

like our faces.

We're supposed to wash them gently and then moisturize

them, which I never knew.

But only on the outside.

Take that home--

Not inside.

Yeah, I got it.

Explain that.

Did you know it was self-cleaning on the inside?

All right, thank you so much for playing with us today.

Well, I didn't.

Congrats, Andy.

You are basically a vagina expert now.

And I would like to give you a prize.

So what did we learn today.

We learned that we--

That vaginas are awesome.

Yes.

You look great.

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