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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Client-Hell

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[regal music]

- Savannah, this food looks delicious.

- Thank you. I like nice food.

- Now do y'all see how well your sister's done?

all: Yeah. - I think she did a good job.

- Did you go to the funeral home to pick up the flowers?

- Chase, way to be rude. - These are beautiful.

- Savannah, this is--

- This is how you put together a dinner party.

- Exactly. - Thank you.

- Is there gonna be any chicken wings around here?

- No, Grayson, there's not gonna chicken wings.

- Savannah has invited us over to her first dinner party

at her new house and we are so excited.

- And I've been waiting a lifetime for my children

to serve me... for a change.

Savannah, this is good.

- I throw on a great dinner party.

- I'm not gonna lie, it looks like a restaurant.

- It does. - Thank you.

- She did a wonderful job.

It always feels good when your parents tell you

that they're extremely proud of you.

- How does that feel like?

- Savannah, you did do a good job.

- Well, I can tell 'cause you haven't stopped eating.

- But I would do this so much better.

- Chase, why do you say... - I would do so much--

- Things like that? - Because I know I can.

Y'all come over to my place, I'll cook dinner,

and it'll be amazing. - So I say we turn it

into a little competition. - Why do you always wanna

pit your kids against each other?

That's so unhealthy. - You've done it our whole life.

- If I win... you have to pay my grocery bill

for a month. - I'll pay your grocery bill.

- Well, no, actually, no.

I'll pay your grocery bill for the month if you win,

but if I win... you'll just have to pay

for my housekeeper for the month

'cause I would much rather have my house clean

than have food.

- You raised some dumb kids. - Me, too.

[bright classical music]

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

- I just love this store.

- Well, honey, I understand that you love this store,

but what are you looking for?

- Well, I just need a house full of furniture.

- That all sounds good, but have you come up

with a plan to pay for it? - I will eventually,

but I just need to get furniture first

and then I'll work towards paying you back.

- Am I Visa? - Well...yeah.

- We ain't working that way. - [sighs] Whatever.

I have a problem. - What is it?

- I have my project for my music business class

and I'm supposed to have an artist to manage,

but, of course, the person that I had dropped out.

My dream is to develop and manage artists

in the music industry, so right now I'm taking

a concert and booking promotion class

where my assignment is to find an artist,

sign them, and book them a show.

I had an artist lined up, but, of course,

they dropped out at the very last minute--

- So you didn't have a backup already lined up?

Darn.

- I have a solution to your problem.

I'll be your talent.

- [nervously laughs]

- People are not reliable and dependable.

Family is supposed to be where you start first.

Do you understand that? - Yes.

- And guess what? I always show up.

- [sighs]

- I mean, you know, I was number eight on iTunes.

- Yeah, not number one, though.

- No, but I was also on the "Billboard" charts.

I had a freaking hit with Sara Evans.

I mean, what better way to learn to manage talent

than with one of the biggest artists in Nashville?

So what are you gonna do?

- Well, Daddy, I guess I'm gonna have to manage you.

- You gonna have to manage me

or, "Dad, could I--" - Daddy, could I please

manage you? I don't wanna deal with Daddy,

but at this point, I don't have much of a choice.

- [blows raspberries] - Yeah, I know.

- I just need a little bit of graveling.

Just a little. - What--What do you need?

- I need you to say, "Dad,

"I'm caught between hell and a fencepost,

I need you to bail me out once again."

- Daddy, I'm caught between hell and fencepost,

I need you to bail me out again?

- Okay.

[regal music]

♪ ♪

- 7-Up Pound Cake?

I can't remember if that's good or not.

[door closes]

Daddy? - No, Mama.

What are you doing? - I'm just looking

at your recipes for my dinner party, Mama.

Is the 7-Up pound cake good?

Or would you rather have lemon meringue pie?

- I'd probably do pie? - You want a roll?

You want a honey drizzled croissant

I'll make a mean croissant. I don't know how to right now,

but I'll find a way. - Okay, I think you need

to keep it as simple as possible.

- Y'all want Rice Krispie Treats?

- Well, that's simple, but--

- Mama, you know I don't cook a lot.

- You are taking on a huge endeavor.

- And I'm gonna win. - You need to understand

a dinner party has many moving parts.

- What do you mean? - You can't cook all this stuff

and have one thing going and then you haven't even started

one thing 'cause you tend to get sidetracked very easily.

- Aww, look at that.

- That's what I'm saying. You have to stay on task.

- Are you saying that I'm slow?

- Challenged sometimes.

I feel like Chase is setting himself up for failure.

You need to keep your recipes simple, easy,

something that you know.

- I have faith that my son can do anything

he sets his mind to.

Once he finds his mind.

- Why don't you do something like...

a turkey and some sides?

A turkey's easy. - A turkey's a good idea.

- So, bake a turkey in the oven--

- Ooh, no. Mm.

I'm gonna deep fry it.

- Uh, you and fire and oil do not mix.

- I got a deep fryer at home. I make tater tots all the time.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hi, how are you? - Hi, how are you?

- I'm good. - Good. Good.

I'll go ahead and get you started out with some tap water

while you wait. - Thank you.

- Absolutely.

- Part of my written report is a contract

that I had to draw up and have my artist sign,

but I've been sitting here at this restaurant

for over a half an hour now

and my dad still hasn't shown up.

- Famous people... - Hmm.

♪ ♪

- Hey. - You're 30 minutes late.

- I had to get up this morning, had my juice, I did my Pilates.

You don't understand what it's like to have

all the things going on in your life like what I have.

- Hmm. Since you're late,

let's just get right down to business.

First, we do have the contract that you're gonna have to sign.

- Well, before we sign a contract

I need to give you my rider.

- An artist rider? - The rider tells you

everything that I want and that I have to have

in order for me to perform.

- "The Artist Formerly Known as Todd Chrisley."

- Hey. - You want me to

not look you directly in the eyes.

- And you're doing that.

- You want a limo to and from all events?

- Mm-hmm. - Wow...

"Artist's snacks must have prior approval,

"but not limited to orange M&Ms with peanut"...

- 'Cause I like-- - "And may only be handled

with white linen gloves."

- Yes I'm gonna be a little over the top,

but if she wants to be in the music industry,

she wants to manage people,

I'm trying to help her understand

that contrary to most people's beliefs,

there's bigger bitches in this world than Todd.

- Show me.

- You need to be able to say you have represented

top-tier talent. - Are you serious?

- I'm 100% serious. I mean, have you not...

checked out who I am?

- Oh, trust me, I've done my research.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Okay, let's see what we need to get.

[cart clangs] God, Parker!

- [laughs] Watch where you're walking.

- Bitch, you ran over me.

I got Parker to help me throw this dinner party

so I can win this bet.

- You two together,

it pretty much always equals a disaster.

- No, it does not.

We're gonna get a turkey. - Mm-hmm.

- Do you know how to deep fry a turkey?

[together] No. - I've never done it.

- I'll do it. - All right, you got that.

How about this, Parker's Famous Collard Greens?

Pick out a couple turkey necks,

plop 'em in the pot, some chicken broth,

throw a little lemon zest on there.

Ooh, all right, my mouth's already watering.

- Oh! Oh, turkey's right here. Without hormones.

Hormones are good, though. - What?

"Frozen, young turkey." - With...

- Giblets--Oh, yeah. - What the hell's a giblet?

- It's like the innards.

- The "innards"? - Yeah.

- You just made that word up. - The entrails. No, I did not.

- What is a "giblet" anyways?

Do you know? - Is that like a guy turkey?

Or a girl turkey? Like-- - I don't know, Savannah.

- I think it is.

- Ooh, wait, no, this one still has the neck on it.

See that?

- Is there any giblets? - No giblets.

- All right.

Parker, what is a "lemon zest" anyway?

- You grate it. - You think so?

- I know so.

- Ah, man, we should get Brussels sprouts.

I bet you won't take a bit outta that.

- I'm gonna eat a bite of it, not the whole thing.

- No, a big bite. [crunches]

I'm good.

- [exhales] Hold on. - It's not good, is it?

- Ugh. [mumbles] I hate my life.

Why do you make me do this [bleep]?

- [laughs] - [spits]

[regal music]

♪ ♪

- This is a venue I've looked at for you.

This is what we're working on.

♪ ♪

[twangy rock music]

♪ ♪

- For me to perform in here? - Yes.

We're gonna make sure all the tables are cleared out,

you'll be up on stage doing your thing.

It can be a great turn out. - Hmm. Okay.

Have you already booked this?

- Yeah, we're working on it. Yes.

- Savannah needs to step her game up.

Of course I'm going to perform for her,

but I would've thought that since she lived

in the same home with me her entire life

she would know what my expectations are.

- Yeah, unrealistic. - Oh, please.

You need to check my rider.

- Oh, no, I know what's in it and what you have in it

is completely outrageous and not gonna fly.

- Okay, well, this doesn't work for me

and you need to raise the bar for something

that is more in line with who I am.

- The one thing that my dad doesn't understand

is that I do have a few tricks under my sleeve

and I'm gonna show him that he's messed with

the wrong person.

- This is for up-and-coming talent,

I'm not up-and-coming talent.

I've already arrived.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I'm actually impressed you have aprons.

- Of course, Parker.

You think I'm gonna get my clothes dirty?

- [laughs] Knowing you.

- We've got all the ingredients lined up and we're ready to go

and honestly I'm excited 'cause I think

I've got a pretty good chance at winning this.

- Oh, okay, go ahead.

- Oh, my God. - What we need to do is--

See this neck? You gotta trim this thing off.

- What?! - Give it to me.

♪ ♪

[grunts] - Oh, my God, dude.

Parker, that is disgusting.

- I feel like freaking Martha Stewart right now.

- Oh, my God... - You gotta stick your hand...

- That looks so gross. - Inside there.

- I'm not putting my hand inside that.

- Bub, you have to.

Get up in there.

- [groans]

- Get all the crevices.

- [gags]

Oh, yeah. - We still need to trim that.

Look at this flap. - Ew.

- Dude, look at this flap. - I get my Uggs dirty

and I'm gonna be pissed. - Then you gotta trim the ass.

- Are you kidding me? [laughs]

God-- - You just got it all wet again!

- God. - We gotta start all over again?

[cell phone rings]

- Hello? - Hey, what y'all doing?

- I'm cooking for you. - I'm gonna tell you right now,

you better hope this food don't make me sick.

Okay? - Where are you?

- I'm about an hour away. - [exhales sharply]

- All right.

We still have so much to do

I need Parker to put some pep in his step

and help me finish this up.

- Dumb and dumber.

- What next? Uh, the pie.

- None of us know how to cook a pie.

Why don't you pull your mom's recipe up?

- That's not plagiarism, is it?

- No, it's not at all.

- "Separate the egg yolks."

Oh, God. - Okay, 2 tablespoons

of all purpose flour, 2 tablespoons of butter,

and then 4 egg yolks beaten.

[thuds] Oh, my--

[both laugh] - Oh, my God, dude.

You had one job. - Oh, I had one job?

You set it on the edge. - I'm getting stressed out.

We were doing so good and then we just hit that.

Oh, God! - What?

- It's all over my shoes!

- [laughs] - Are you joking?

- Hey, do you have a vacuum? - No!

.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God. - Things happen in the kitchen

and its not the end of the world.

You're literally being a drama queen.

All right? You need to calm down.

[mixer whirring] Okay, there we go.

Team work. [laughs]

- All right, open the oven.

- Just put 'em under.

- All right, we're good.

We're ready to go and honestly,

Savannah's about to be buying me groceries

for the next month. - Whatever you say.

- We did a great job. - It looks great. Yeah.

- All right, I'm gonna light the candles.

- All right. [lighter flickering]

- This is quite the presentation.

[lighter flickers] - I know.

[doorbell rings]

- Hello! - Come on in.

- Oh, my God let me see this.

- Hey. - Wow.

- I like your place. - Hey.

- Some tea for you. - Parker's gonna be

your butler tonight. - Savannah.

- Everyone's name tag. Find your name at the table.

- Oh, man, that's good.

- Your seat's over here. - I have to say, Chase,

I am surprised at how... nice everything looks.

- For Chase to tell me that he can throw a dinner party

as good as his sister... it has me a little concerned.

- To my knowledge, Chase has never prepared a meal period.

- Not even a Pop-Tart.

- We'll serve you guys, all right?

- Tonight for dinner we have delicious fried turkey.

There you go. Mashed potatoes,

Parker's famous collard greens. - Grayson, I expect you to eat

all of your collards, okay? - Okay, Dad.

[laughter]

- Look how good this looks.

- Heavenly Father, thank You so much for bringing

us together on this amazing day

with the Chrisley family. Woot woot.

- [laughs] - Amen.

all: Amen.

- You got a butler that can pray too.

We're in good shape. - And cook collard greens.

- [exhales sharply]

- Let's see.

- Do you have salt? - Oh, yes, sir.

[laughter]

- So we're gonna have some iodized salt.

- What do you use? - We have shakers that we have--

- I do, too, but I couldn't figure out

how to get it in here.

- I don't think y'all had to worry about that at my house.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- I-I'm pleasantly surprised.

- This is good.

- I think it's pretty great.

- [exhales slowly]

- And finally, for dessert,

we have lemon meringue pie.

- Hmm. - That's my favorite.

- I had a whole dessert tower.

- Whoa. both: Oh, my God.

- The meringue looks great.

- Oh, gosh, that looks good.

- Thank you. - Wow, thank you.

- Mmm mm.

- Mom, you've said that about everything.

- Yeah.

- The crust is good. You nailed the crust.

- The crust is amazing.

- I don't think there's any question that I've won this.

- We'll see about that. - You're right. We will.

Okay, who yo--Daddy...

- So it's left up to me? - Yeah.

[dramatic music]

- You know that your sister is borderline perfection?

Right? - Mm-hmm.

- But today I'm actually going to...

[laughs] Vote for you...

- Whoo hoo!

- Because... - That's a Dub!

- At the end of the day-- - They're voting for you

out of pitty. - Excuse me. Excuse me.

- That's a W and you're taking a L.

- You had a beautiful table, but no one would've ever

expected this from Chase.

This right here is, like, a major accomplishment for him.

- Yeah. - You know,

I got the lemon meringue pie.

I win.

You lose. - Okay.

- Well, I would like to thank all of y'all for coming

and, Savannah, safe travels home.

- Oh, I will. - I'll send you my bill.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Savannah, I am impressed.

I mean, you've got my limo. - I have.

You gave me a rider, and as your manager,

it was my job to follow through with it all.

- Job well done. - Thank you, Todd.

- Thank you.

- My dad's been very difficult to manage,

but I found him a venue that's very fitting

to who he is and this is gonna be my revenge.

This is me bringing his ego from all the way up here

back down to normal level.

- It has never been down to normal level.

- So tell me about where I'm gonna be performing.

- I mean, it's a very nice place.

Everyone there, you know, they fall within

the same demographic as you

and they are dying to see you. - Okay.

- You think there'll be some fan girls there?

- Oh, yeah. - He loves a fan girl.

- I love a fan girl or a fan guy.

- Well, you're about to find out

because we've arrived.

[overlapping chatter]

[dramatic music]

- All right, I-29.

- I-29?

- B-5. - B-5.

- [snoring]

- What the hell is this?

My own daughter, Savannah, she got me.

I'm gonna be the headlining act at the closure of "Cocoon."

- Go ahead, Britney.

- Hi, everyone, I hope you're doing well

and having a great night.

I just wanted to introduce Todd Chrisley

'cause he's gonna play some awesome music for you tonight.

[applause] So I hope you enjoy.

- There's really no introduction needed...

- Okay. - Savannah.

So, you know, I have a song called "Infinite Love"

with Sara Evans

and Sara's not here tonight, so do we have someone

in the group that can maybe do her part?

- MK! - What's your name?

- MK. - Well, I need to get MK up here

to sing with me. - Come on.

[cheers and applause]

- We got this Mary Kay.

["Infinite Love" playing]

♪ ♪

I knew the moment you walked in the room

♪ ♪

I'd never have this with anybody else but you

Savannah thinks that this has been the worst night of my life.

It hasn't. I can perform anywhere.

In the shower, in the car,

I mean, in the streets.

I knew I was gonna nail this.

both: ♪ Infinite love

- At the end of the day I am very proud of my dad

and his performance and I am very disappointed

in how difficult he's been, but his talent

I'm very proud of.

Just, in the future,

we may have to change little things if we ever

did business together again.

- Come on. both: ♪ Infinite love

[cheers and applause]

- You did great. - Oh...

- Thank you all very much. Y'all have a wonderful evening.

[cheers and applause]

.

- Hey. - Oh, my gosh.

- Go away. Why do you do this?

Every night it's the same pattern.

- Hey, y'all. - Why are you here doing laundry?

You have your own home. - Because, Daddy,

you have two washers and two dryers

so I can just get it all going at the same time

and just get it done faster.

- Get your [bleep] all going in your own

one washer and one dryer. - I don't have time to waste.

- We don't have laundry detergent to waste

or power. - [whispers] Oh, my gosh.

- Savannah, did I give you enough material for your class?

- Oh, you gave me plenty.

I mean, you gave me enough for my project

and then you also gave me enough for a case study

on very difficult artists.

- I have to tell you... - But--

- You got one over on him.

Not many people can say they did that.

- How did they like me at the assisted living?

Was everyone happy? - Oh, yes, they were.

They will actually like for you to do a little mini-tour

there and, you know, go from room to room.

- Okay, well, and you're gonna get me out of that

because I'm not gonna do that.

- All right, well, you know what?

I just heard the washer ding,

so I need to go put my stuff in the dryer.

So I gotta go. Bye, Todd.

- You with her.

- Hey, what did I do to you?

- Go to your bed. - You need to let it go.

- Well, on that note, I'm going to bed.

How does it feel to be schooled by a 19 year old?

- Yeah, well, how does it feel to be sleeping with...

The Artist Formerly Known as Todd Chrisley?

- Okay, good night.

The Description of Client-Hell