(crowing) (roaring)
- Welcome to Good Mythical More!
- Random disturbing fact!
- All right, we're gonna drink some boxed wine,
but first, let's get disturbed.
- The coating on jelly beans is derived from
the secretions of the female lac bug.
- The female lac bug?
- L-A-C, lac bug.
- Oh man, we've been eating bugs on beans this whole time?
(laughing)
- You don't even like jelly beans.
- This is why!
I knew it!
- You sensed it!
I mean, how many lac bugs you gotta get
to get that many secretions? - I sensed it!
- I mean, jelly beans...
I woulda thought there were more jelly beans
in the world than lac bugs.
- Okay, so--
- Maybe one lac bug secretion
can be spread across a dozen beans.
- Let's find out what boxed wine is the best boxed wine
by drinking all of the boxed wines.
- Do you want to save the onion wine 'til the end,
because I feel like that's gonna ruin
our ability to taste. - That's a good point.
Yeah. - Taste.
- Let's save it 'til the end, and then forget
that we were gonna taste it. - We've got white wine
with red onion,
and red wine with white onion.
I'm gonna move these out of my area.
- Wanna just put that there so we won't forget about it?
- I won't forget about it, 'cause I can only smell it.
- Now, 'cause you've got a box there.
You can take that box and then I'll give you the wine,
we'll pop it open,
and then we'll put our glasses underneath.
- A golden box for boxed wines!
- Yeah, and just a reminder.
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- 80's movies are all the movies I haven't seen.
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And, matter of fact, it's sitting right over there.
It's bigger than that when you get closer to it.
Includes never-before-seen photos
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- Also, Mythical Society members, all degrees
can see a bonus round of the main episode that we just shot.
- When we're doing stuff like
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sometimes, we'll shoot bonus rounds,
and that's for any degree in the Mythical Society.
- Things got a little bit weird,
we discovered some facts about soap.
- Wine Cube...
- I've seen this on the shelves.
- It looks tasteful.
Oh, there it goes.
- Just like milking a cow.
(pouring)
- So, there's a stigma associated with box wine,
correct me if I'm wrong,
but the advantage of it is that--
- It's in a box.
- It stays-- - It stays good.
- It stays good, as opposed to opening a bottle,
and then you gotta, like, have a special
plug to put in the bottom
if you're not gonna drink the whole thing.
- It stays fresh, but also it's more wine, (laughs)
I mean, it's just simple math.
Or it's simple, is that geometry?
There's more volume in a cube
than there is in a bottle.
- Yeah, and it's sitting in your...
I did the swirl and the sniff,
didn't learn much, but I hope I looked good doing it.
- Smells like it might be from a box.
(lips smacking)
(slurping)
- Having not had any of the other ones yet,
I'd say that's good.
It's a little light.
- It's a pinot.
- I like a...
- It's not very full-bodied.
That's okay, we're not gonna hold it against it.
- I like a more full-bodied wine.
- Okay.
- So, we'll come back to that one,
but ooh, let's go to the,
the Black Box. - Sauvignon blanc.
- Four bottles of award-winning wine
in one elegant box.
- Hand me your glasses, which are shaped
a little bit differently.
Do you know the difference between these two wine glasses?
- One's taller.
- That's right.
(pouring)
(coughing)
Now, that's like a cow peeing.
It's different.
- Yeah, that's exactly what it sounds like.
(pouring)
- Cow pissing on a flat rock, that was a...
- It's a euphemism for when it's raining hard.
- Yeah, yeah, training like a cow
pissing on a flat rock, that's something
we say back home.
- I'm not into this, I'm not into the blanc, man.
(slurping)
(lips smacking)
- Grass, notes of grass.
And vinegar. (laughs)
That's not a good sign.
(coughing)
- I mean, it's,
and after you drink even that weak red wine.
- That's actually not that bad,
I'm just not-- - It's not that it's bad.
- I'm not a big fan of the whites.
- It's not as intriguing as the black box
made me think it was.
- Yeah, what could be in there?
I don't know.
- I mean--
- It was the only thing left after the plane crashed.
- (laughs) It's really tough to combine.
- We found a black,
did you find the black box?
Yes, I drank all of it.
(laughing)
- It's tough to compare, you know,
all these different types of wine.
You know, the genres.
(pouring)
What is, this spigot is fun.
I do like that. - First of all,
all three wines left, oh, there's more,
the next three wines, including the one from before,
so, these three wines are all white.
So, this is a pinot grigio.
I like the grigio better than the blanc.
- Let's compare this to the Black Box.
- Pretty tart.
- It's floral, it's got some fun,
it's got some fun up top.
Looks like I'm running through a field of flowers.
- I actually think that this
is the best quality wine so far.
That's just my personal,
if I'm just going off of--
- I like this.
I would say it's both refreshing and balanced.
I'd say it has flavors of fresh tropical fruit,
little bright citrus, maybe,
actually, there's a crisp pear shine to it.
(laughing)
- Where you reading that?
- I'm just getting it from my palate.
Now, Franzia.
This is the wine box daddy that--
- This is the one you make fun of when people have it.
- I like how it fits in the fridge though,
'cause you wanna put these in the fridge.
- It fits right next to the cereal, actually.
- It goes taller versus wider. - You know what I'm saying?
- Put it in your cereal, give it a shot.
You gotta turn this-- - It also works differently.
(pouring)
- It's got a more variable nozzle.
They give it a nice little trickle.
Gimme a little trickle.
(trickling)
Bring it down.
Oh, yeah, see?
You like that knob better? - You just want a little,
you want a little drip?
I really do, look at that.
- You like it better than the push button?
- Just get a wine drip party going.
- So, and then it's less likely
that your uncle Bob's gonna come over
and accidentally poke it.
You know, you don't wanna start accidentally,
all the other ones, you can accidentally poke.
I think this one's cheaper.
Is this one cheaper?
- Yes.
- The cheapest of our whites. - Yes.
- It's not giving me much.
The Franzia, I mean, you gave me a lot.
But, I'll tell you man.
That crisp pear.
- That's nice. - I've kinda lost track
of where I was.
- The Bota Box is the one that we've liked the most.
So, the Bota Box beats the Franzia,
and I think it beats the Black Box as well.
- We forgot all about Wine Cube though.
- I'm just comparing the whites.
And then we'll come back to the Wine Cube with the--
- Okay, and now a cabernet, this is--
- So, for the white wines,
let's declare our winner.
- We're saying the best white wine
that we've tasted today was the Bota Box.
- Bota Box, and you know what?
There's a picture of a kayak and a bicycle
on the side of it.
You know, it's like,
there's nothing like drinking a bunch
of white wine and getting in a kayak on a river.
That doesn't sound like a good idea.
- Okay, so now we're moving onto Barefoot.
Heard of that.
Is that by Chris Barefoot and family?
- I think this is a North Carolina wine.
Am I wrong?
Is it a South Carolina wine?
- Yeah, Modesto, California,
right there on the box. - Yeah, right there.
(laughing)
- By way of North Carolina.
- I think I get it confused
just because of the tar heel logo.
Oh, and got a nice push button there.
And then, we also have the-- - I don't know.
The push button makes kind of a weird stream happen.
Can I have your glass?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- How did you end up with,
you should have two more glasses.
- I got it right here.
(pouring)
All right, so I'm going back to the,
the Wine Cube is here.
Okay, I'm keeping this straight.
All right, so.
Doesn't smell great.
(lips smacking)
- I like a cabernet,
but I don't know if that's better than the Wine Cube.
It's a totally different wine, of course.
- It's got like a very, it's got,
(wine swooshing in mouth)
like, it's got a overwhelmingly alcohol taste.
- Yeah, so alcohol-y.
- I mean, do you experience the positive burst of--
- [Both] Raspberry and blackberry jam?
- Yeah.
- I don't.
'Cause if I'm looking, if I'm going back
to the Wine Cube,
pinot.
(lips smacking)
- Oh, gosh.
Remind me to never go to a wine tasting with you.
(laughing)
- One year, for Christy's birthday,
we went on this, like, wine tasting excursion,
you remember that?
It was like-- - Did you go, where'd you go?
- You were there.
- That was a good night. (laughs)
- It was like Malibu Farms or something,
they had like a, it was like a outdoor venue
and they had like-- - Oh, yeah.
What's that place that--
- [Producer] Malibu Safari.
I've been there for my birthday too.
- Malibu Safari?
I didn't see any animals, I think they did
have a giraffe or something.
- [Producer] Well, that's an animal, yeah.
They have a bunch of animals there.
- I didn't see it though.
- [Producer] Oh yeah, they have many.
- I came for the wine, not the giraffe.
- That was fun.
- Let's try...
Didn't sound like you had a good time.
- That day, I remember.
- 'Cause we had somebody with us--
- Hold on, so this is another red.
- This is the final one.
So, the winner of the white.
(pouring)
We're gonna taste the red.
This is a red blend.
- I like a blend.
- And again, this one says aromas of spice
and blackberry jam flavors. - I don't like to hear that
before I drink it.
- Okay!
(laughing)
- Oh, man.
- I like it. - That's, again.
That's better than both of the other reds.
- I like this one, yeah.
Why do you like it?
- 'Cause it's very balanced.
Because it feels like--
- Balanced between?
- It's, you know, it's a little bit light,
but a little bit heavy.
Just like me.
(wine swooshing in mouth)
(lips smacking) - I like it.
- Yeah, this is my fave too, man.
- So, Bota Box really came through.
I mean, how does our taste compare
to, like, what people say about these things?
Is, like Bota Box like--
- [Stevie] The Bota Box wines are the most expensive wines.
- Oh, they are?
Okay, well that's-- - Okay, well,
we've got great taste.
- I mean, they're $17 or $18.
For the red, it's $19.
- That's a good wine.
- I feel like, hey, we picked the most expensive wine.
I feel validated.
(hands slapping)
That was close.
To my face. - Hey, you know what?
And we can show up at wine tastings, dressed just like this,
it'd be like, kinda French, kinda science-y?
- Yeah, yeah.
- They must know things.
They bring the box wine?
- They're very descriptive,
but then I read the box afterward,
and it seems like that's all they were doing.
(laughing)
- Yeah.
- So, let's bring in the orange,
I mean the onion wine.
And you know what?
We lost, but screw it, it's here.
This is the Red Vine wine.
Let's try this first,
and then I know that's gonna be horrible,
so we'll end with that.
- There's a lot of wine here.
- Red Vine wine, Rhett.
Red Vine wine, Rhett.
Red Vine wine, Rhett.
- Onion wine, Wink.
(laughing)
- Oh, that's a strong-smelling,
how long was this Red Vine in here?
A whole month?
- Well, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna make a straw out of this.
- That's crazy.
This is like something the vape companies
would do if they started making wine.
You know, trying to get the kids to drink it.
It'd be wrong.
But it's very
Red Vine forward. - The Red Vine
really permeated the entire thing.
Permeated. (laughing)
- (clears throat) Permeated?
Now, I'm a little afraid of this.
And I'm really afraid of the rosé.
Oh, gosh. - I don't think it's rosé,
I think it's just white wine with red onions in it.
- Oh, is that was it is?
That's how you make rosé?
- Yep.
(laughing)
All right.
- Oh, gosh, are we going for, I,
let's choose which one we're gonna drink.
- This one!
We got it in our hands. (glasses clink)
It tastes way better than it smells.
Because onions taste good.
- It doesn't taste bad at all.
- It's kinda like--
- I'm sure my breath is gonna be
speaking volumes.
- It's the kinda thing that you--
- But yeah, it's kinda-- - You'd like hear about,
was popular in some like, weird little crevice
somewhere in eastern Kentucky.
- It pairs well with--
- Get that onion wine!
- It pairs well with a Manwich.
(laughing)
- I like it.
Let's go for the red with the white onion.
- I don't want to.
My stomach's burning.
(glasses clink)
My head's kinda floating.
(lips smacking)
You like it?
- That's better!
- It's better than this, yeah.
It's more subtle. - Because it's subtle.
Oh, it's subtle, yet still onion-y.
- Pairs well with Manwich.
(laughing)
- That's good!
That's really, that's better than Bota Box. (laughs)
- (laughs) It ain't that good,
but it's not as horrible as you might think.
(upbeat music)
- All right, we learned something today.
- Wine.
- Bota Box makes great wine, and
onions only make it better.
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