(whimsical piano music)
- Hi, my name's Calvin.
Last week, my teacher Miss Glenda Hurst
told us the secret to eternal life.
She told us that if we wanna live forever
we have to take care of Mother Earth.
Even though Miss Glenda Hurst says
that we can water the plants in class,
she only lets Nicole Pitman do it
and I don't know maybe it's just me
but I don't really think Nicole Pitman
knows what she's doing when she's watering the plants.
So to get on Miss Glenda Hurst's good side
I stole all the plants from our classroom, see?
According to the Internet, the special ingredient
to make these guys grow is love.
Nicole Pitman doesn't know how to love.
So, to express my love and appreciation,
I thought I'd thought I'd write them a little something.
Dear plants, I love you more than the heroic
eagle loves the story of this great land
that we call America which is the home
of the free and land of the brave and that is a lie.
I hope all the love I'm giving the plants works
because if it doesn't work I'm gonna
have to resort to plan B.
Plan B is making my own fertilizer.
(whimsical violin music)