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Breath of the Wild!

This most ambitious of Zelda games pits Link

against perhaps the most difficult challenge a young man can face:

feeding himself.

Up until this point, Link has been surviving on Lon Lon Milk, potions, and Grandmas soup,

which means his bowel movements must be pretty wack.

Link can cook now!

And not only CAN he cook, he SHOULD cook, because these recipes replenish the hearts

needed to survive in post-apocalyptic Hyrule.

But looking at some of these recipes and ingredients, it makes me wonder... is Link a good cook?

Are you seriously telling me this hot mash of mushrooms and fruit is going to completely

heal his wounds?

Survival is all about using the items you have at your disposal, but the food Link can

cook and the ways Link can cook it make me pretty skeptical about how beneficial they'd be.

And when Im skeptical, I research.

Today, I will be cooking every single recipe from Breath of the Wild, and reranking their

heart bonuses based on how yummy they are.

*80s music plays*

Yummy!

I don't think I've used the word yummy since I was six.

As always, we start with the parameters.

If you were to choose every distinct iteration of food you can cook in Breath of the Wild,

there would be HUNDREDS of recipes for me to cook.

Not only is that unfeasible for me to do in a timely manner, it is unfeasible for me to

eat in a timely manner without sending me straight to the hospital.

So we're trimming!

Were cutting all the variations that modify your stats.

No normal steamed fish vs. mighty steamed fish.

No matter which type of fish I put in a dish, Im not gonna get any more ripped.

I'm just gonna have a different fish in me.

Were also cutting the dishes likeBaked Applewhich are just an ingredient coming

in contact with a fire.

You dont have to be good at cooking to do this, you just have to be good at arson.

We're also gonna cut our inedible foods.

I don't think I'm gonna have to seek out creating dubious food.

That's just gonna happen naturally.

Im also cutting the gourmet and prime versions of recipes.

Judging by the pictures, it's just more meat as opposed to better mean.

Also, Polygon won't expense Wagyu beef for me, so...

WHATEVER.

And speaking of quality over quantity, we're also cutting the copious versions of recipes.

The single ingredient recipes are also out of here unless they are actively transformational

like an omelet or honey candy.

But most of these recipes are just putting an ingredient over heat.

Ooh, look at Gordon Ramsay over here, making WARM MILK.

And finally, we are cutting all of the recipes that include monster parts, because we all know the true monster

is man.

And cannibalism is frowned upon in New York.

Now that weve narrowed it down to 78 recipes, lets talk ingredients.

Some of these recipes need specific ingredients, others are more vague,

like asking forany fruit.”

Which, can I just say, is not how cooking works.

Obviously, theres room for creative substitution, but when I can make the same fruitcake whether

I use an apple or a durian, a fruit that smells like turpentine and wet garbage, that feels

like a weird loophole to me.

And it's a loophole I'm going to exploit the hell out of.

Link doesnt have the luxury of getting a wide variety of ingredients, so I too will

use the fewest number of ingredients possible.

Obviously, some of them have very standard analogs in the real world, but others are a bit weirder.

As far as the cooking goes, we're going to be keeping it as true to Breath of the Wild as possible.

We will not add any ingredients not listed in the recipe.

That includes salt and pepper!

*realizing that he will have to eat 78 unseasoned meals*

That's gonna suck.

But I'll be a little bit lenient with myself.

I will add a neutral oil or water to recipes that might require it, because I'm going to

be cooking in a wok or pan for most of these recipes, and if I don't put a fat in there,

everything is gonna burn.

And thats it.

78 Recipes.

33 Ingredients.

Now all we need... is a kitchen.

And luckily, our sister site Eater was willing to lend me theirs for a whole day because

they have obviously not seen how these Unraveleds go.

Of course, they wouldn't let me in without a chaperone so we have Eater's very own Zelda

expert, Adam Moussa joining us.

Do you know what you've signed up for?

- Ah, I don't know, let's cook some food!

We'll be fine.

- Good, I'm psyched.

You can see there is quite a lot of food here today, but we do have 78 recipes to get through.

And we will be cutting down on food waste by cooking them all as if they're like tasting menu.

- Just little tiny portions.

- Mmhmm, yup, also, we are two mortal men, and eating 78 full meals would kill us.

- Oh my god.

- What are we making first?

- Let's cut open a pumpkin.

- Oh my god, yes!

In Zelda it's called a Fortified Pumpkin.

And this definitely is a huge-ass fortified gourd.

And I think that makes sense for us.

Also if I can't be accurate, I sure as hell am gonna be extra.

And with our mission statement set, we got started on the prep work for the whole day,

planning out our meals, discussing what could be pre-cooked and combined later, and striving

to fix any inaccuracies in the recipes by making them as extra as possible.

We also planned out our ranking scale.

We will assume that 10 hearts is a full recovery.

A dish that is amazing will receive a 10.

A dish that is terrible and closer to dubious food will receive a 1.

In the rare case that a dish is transcendent, we will reward it with hearts beyond the scale.

And unfortunately...

- There... there could be some food today... that will harm us.

And in that case, that's a negative.

We chopped up the calabaza gourd and roasted it so it could be easily incorporated into

other recipes.

And though we promised to make most things in the wok, we did decide to roast a few things

like the gourd and the chicken, because link doesn't have to worry about things like food poisoning.

- That's a Zelda game I want to play, where you can get food poisoning.

You can get salmonella.

Would it be cheating if we finish these in the oven?

- No.

After deciding that our health was slightly more important than being absolutely true

to the game, we got the chicken baked, the mushrooms sautéed, carrots roasted and chopped.

You know, cooking.

- That's cooking, baby!

We got the steaks fried.

Got the windows open because the oil got a little smokey, but you know, that's totally

normal, we're all professionals here.

- Hey David Chang, do you want me on your next cooking show?

*pan sizzling*

Turn away.

No one needs to see this.

If people expected me to come in here with, like, perfect cooking skills, that's not true

to Zelda!

What I'm saying is I'm roleplaying right now.

- You're roleplaying a dude who was asleep for 100 years.

- Yeah.

- Again, I feel very free that we're not trying to make it good, just cooked.

Our failures fully justified, we finally started preparing the first dishes, which were the

four rice balls and five different curry rices.

These just used our standard rice that we prepared on the back stove, combined with

one or two of the other prepared ingredients.

None of these had salt.

- We starting with the curry rices?

Or the, uh...

- I'm gonna start with a ball.

- Alright.

- I'm gonna go with the mushroom first.

- I'm gonna go with the carrot.

- Hmm.

Unseasoned rice in an onigiri sort of ball is...

bad.

- Yes.

- I suspect yours is slightly better than mine 'cause of the flavor of the mushroom

whereas this is just... carrot.

- I'm gonna put this at a solid three.

Hmm.

Okay, the meat flavor is good... is more there.

- Same here, the salmon really, really lifts this one up.

Could use salt.

- We'll be saying that a lot today.

I would say that that's a four in hearts for me.

- I would put mine, well I'm gonna put the first one at a two, put this one at a three.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

*worried laughter* - That's just a... that's just a mush.

- That's some spicy mush!

The chicken is really lifting this one up so I can't imagine how you're doing.

- Now I'm gonna put this on dubious food scale, I think.

I think this is gonna be a solid one heart.

Why'd I have another bite of this?

- This one?

It's a two.

- I'm gonna say this is a two.

Hmm, is it better than... maybe I ranked 'em too high.

Those rice balls.

Maybe I have already screwed up my ranking scale.

- Very good sweetness from the pumpkin.

- Unseasoned meat.

Poorly seasoned rice.

That's a one and a half.

- What is next on the list?

The first tasting done, we realized we had spent over an hour on nine of the 78 recipes

we needed to get through.

- We are looking for speed over quality.

So we kicked up the speed and decided to get all of the risottos and the steamed AND salt-grilled

recipes done.

I watched a video online about how to fillet a porgy and then I proceeded to do a spectacular job.

- Holy shit he made it look so much easier than it is.

Please don't do a close up of this.

Pat: You're actually doing really well!

- This is looking great.

- Hm...

I mean... compared to what, Patrick?

Compared to what am I doing this well?

The porgy prepped and everyone fully supportive of my great work, we started our steamed recipes,

which call for the main ingredient plus any herb, vegetable, or flower.

So we just used carrots.

While those steamed, Adam began working on the risotto.

We cheated by using pre-cooked rice because we didn't have the time.

- This isn't even cheating, it's just doing it wrong.

- It's just doing it completely incorrectly, yes.

Finally we could use salt.

The salt-grilled recipes are just adding salt to whatever main ingredient.

We had some extra time while waiting for the food to steam, so we prepped the basic

"cream of blank" soup stock.

- So I'm just gonna put some carrots into some milk with some salt, and I'm gonna keep

it on low over here, does that sound good?

- That sounds terrible.

But not everything sounded terrible.

We got to use a lot of goat butter in the risotto, and all of the salt-grilled food

literally sounded good.

*pan sizzling*

- Hoo!

The meat was browning nicely, the risotto was looking creamy, and the beautiful aromas

were almost enough to keep my mind off the fact that we still had 60 recipes to finish

in roughly six hours.

- Doing this in this kitchen feels like a sin to me.

Our second session of recipes were done, with the steamed recipes looking... not great.

But the salt-grilled ones looked very nice.

So I basked in it.

- We really relished the first taste test.

Now?

This is business.

- Steamed raspberries.

- Just hot raspberries.

It's not bad.

- Yeah.

- Seven hearts.

Ready?

One, two, three, pull!

- Ooh, this is, this is incredibly tough.

- Not bad!

- Seven hearts.

- This is the grayest looking meat I've ever seen in my life.

*muffled* oh my god.

*sirens blaring outside*

- *laughing, mouth full* oh god.

It's like almost to beef jerky in its texture.

- Oh my god, it's so dry.

- Half a heart.

NO!

*Adam laughs*

Ohhohoho no...

- Steamed porgy!

*exasperated laugh*

- It looks so bad...

It looks so bad!

Ohhhhhhh no.

It's tender.

That's something I can say for it.

I mean...

- It's better than the steak.

- It's better than the steak!

One heart!

- I'm coming back in for a little bit more!

- NO.

Risotto time.

Uh, let's start with the standard, the mushroom.

- Ooh!

- Mmmm!

- That's good!

- Adam!

- Butter and salt.

- Holy shit!

That might be a transcendent experience.

And maybe it's just 'cause I went SO LOW two minutes before this point.

But I'm gonna give it, I'm gonna give it three hearts above.

- Wow!

I did add some salt to the carrots 'cause I could.

- Also good!

- Still not terrible.

- Nine.

This'll be a nine.

- Crab.

- The salt and the butter, man.

- They do it.

Stick this down at a six.

- Salmon.

That's good!

That's a good dish!

- That's really good, that's a 10.

Still think that one, because of the experience of coming into something so good is plus three,

but that one's 10.

I'm gonna start with the greens, which is carrots.

Not terrible.

- Got some nice char on there.

- I'd say a six?

- Yeah.

A tough as hell mushroom.

- But the salt puts it above the steamed.

So whatever I gave the steamed mushroom, I give it one more heart than that.

- Crab.

- Crab.

- It's great.

It works.

- Mmhmm.

Eight.

The salmon now.

Not the worst salmon I've had.

- I've literally eaten worse salmon at restaurants, so.

- Eight?

- Yeah.

- I'm taking this chunk with the big piece of fat on there.

- Ooh good choice.

*not bad*

*not bad*

- I cooked it too long, but at least I cooked

it over a thing that isn't steam.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, I'd say it's like an eight.

- Yeah!

- Our camera operators went out to grab lunch, but we have the full bounty of food right here.

This is our cream soups that we created using the basic carrot stock.

Okay, bottoms up.

- Yeah, cheers.

- Mmm.

- Um, chunky.

- Chunky.

I'm just gonna have, I'm gonna try the next one.

MMM.

Oh the crab... does not mix well with the carrot.

What about the chicken?

- Milky!

*Pat laughs offscreen* - Good yeah, it's... we're just drinking milk

with carrots in it.

Let me try the pumpkin, let's see if it's any different.

Nope!

It's the same.

Can we just give a, a one for the whole group.

- Yup yup yup.

- It's stuffed, uh, pumpkin, but we don't have the time to roast a full pumpkin and

stuff it with meat.

- No.

- So instead we took our roasted pumpkin and we just put some chicken in there.

- Just right in there.

- Three hearts.

- God I miss salt.

- I'll try the herb.

- And I'll try the crab.

- Yeah, that's... that's a carrot and curry spice.

- *quietly* fuck - And let me try the mushroom for you.

- Oh my god!

*gasp* No hearts!

*laughing and coughing*

fuck!

- There are quite a few things that are just "glazed something."

And I know normally what you would do is you'd put it into a pan and then you make it a glaze.

You'd, like, cook it in that.

But we don't have the time for that.

So we're just gonna dip the thing into honey...

And see what happens.

- That works.

- That's the last of the steak that is cooked and we don't have time right now, so...

That's a sweet meat!

It's a sweet meat that we've got right there.

It's fine.

Um.

Five hearts.

- Glazed mushroom.

- Glazed mushroom.

- That's a... that's a sweet mushroom.

- The style points are off the charts!

- *quietly* that's a sweet mushroom.

- That's good!

That's six hearts!

- Okay, well I'm giving the mushroom four hearts.

Alright, do you want to bring the whole porgy back here and I'll scrape a little bit off?

- Mmm, you know if this was something other than a steamed porgy, that would have been

a really lovely shot right there.

If you say more than three hearts I'm firing you.

- I just taste, like, honey...

OH there's the fish.

*Brian, Pat and Clayton crack up*

- Okay.

Two hearts.

Two hearts, two hearts.

- Dunkaroo right here.

Ten hearts!

- Yeah, that's full recovery.

- Good to have a good thing for a change.

Riding that high, we embarked on the next set of recipes.

We had 37 done, 41 left to go.

This session required a lot of milk, as we were making the roux for the stews and the

batter for the crepes.

Unfortunately, the crepes did not call for any butter.

- The browning is minimum, but I'll tell you, from touching it?

It's hard.

It's been cooked.

Also unfortunately, we didnt have time to let the different ingredients hang out

in the roux for stews, so we had to add the final ingredients to what was essentially

a cream sauce.

- *gasping laughter* Look at this *gasp* cream carrot... *laughing*

- I'm not even gonna plate the mussels.

You ready to do this?

- Let's do this!

I bet a lot of chefs would say, "Hey, you know what could have made this better, if

you made the roux and then let the ingredients be in it to infuse the flavor."

- Yeah, that does...

- And that's why most chefs are wrong.

Pumpkin first. Pumpkin stew.

- Okay. Let me try this with you.

- Mmmmmmm...

- That's a fibrous pumpkin.

- That, you know... it doesn't taste like stew.

It tastes okay, though.

- If it had some salt in it, again...

- Yeah.

As it stands, three.

Now, you, um, you see this obvious meat stew.

- There is.. this is a very meaty stew.

- Mmhmm, yeah.

Now that is milk and meat.

Together at last.

- Yeah I'm gonna eat the long boy.

Oh, it's still crunchy.

Drip.

Alright.

*laughing* It's very drippy.

It's fine!

- It's fine!

It's carrots and milk...

- It's milk and butter and flour and carrot!

- Now this looks like it could be clam chowder.

- Can we get in close enough on the...

- Granted it is... this is mussels instead of clams but whatever.

- That's not bad!

- That's not bad!

- That's pretty fucking good!

- Two.

Two.

Five!

- Wow, no, those mussels are really... they work well!

- We've got three crepes here.

One that is plain.

One that is wildberry.

And one that is honey.

Hmmmmmmmmm now that does just taste like undercooked dough.

- Let me get in on this honey one.

Does the raspberry improve it?

- Yeah, mostly just 'cause there's raspberry.

It doesn't make the crepe any more palatable, though.

- Oh!

We got some strong honey.

- I was really looking forward to this.

I was, like, this sounds like it could be a good crepe.

So I'm kind of disappointed.

This a four, I'll give this a five.

- Five for the honey as well.

What are we cooking now?

- *sigh* Something good I hope.

NOPE!

It's wheat bread time.

Which only has two ingredients: wheat and salt.

The lack of yeast means that there is absolutely no way we could make something that looks

like the video game picture, but that gave us more freedom to make something a bit quicker.

Like fried bread.

So we threw that in a pan and got to work on the pie crusts.

We have to make quite a few pies in a wok, which, again, makes it impossible to create

something that looks like the video game pictures, but Adams trust in the hand pie tradition

gave me hope.

We chilled the dough, rolled it out, and stuffed them with the fillings before popping them

back in the fridge to chill before frying.

We also prepped the honey candy by heating it up, popping it in a pan, and cooling it

in the freezer so we could eventually pull it.

And then it was time for every omelet.

The beauty of these recipes is that they basically have all of the parts of a normal omelet,

which gave us hope that these would turn out alright.

Because even I cant screw up a fried egg over rice.

- I'll tell you what, Adam, we've made something that looks actually kind of okay.

- I'm very proud of us.

- Well let's taste 'em.

Okay? I don't want to get ahead of ourselves.

- Yeah I don't want to jump the gun.

Okay, where are we gonna go?

- Let's start first with perhaps the most beautiful thing we've done.

Pat: Oh daddy...

- We're gonna have to throw this away 'cause Pat said "Oh daddy" in an audible space.

That's good!

- That's really fucking good!

That's a 10!

- That's a 10!

Now, this is just a plain old omelet.

Solid eight.

- This has salt, butter, and some mushrooms.

*big ol' bite*

- MMM! *happy stomp* I do NOT regret taking

that big of a bite!

AH!

That's a plus three!

So this one could have had greens in it but we just went with carrots.

Mmm, no, the carrots are hard.

- And they don't really have any flavor.

- Mmhmm.

Five.

Shall we break into this really *laugh* good bread that we made?

- I feel like I'm holding a Ritz cracker right now.

- Maybe it's the fact that most of these meals haven't had salt,

but this is fucking good.

- This is great!

- This is really good.

- It's just fried bread.

- Patrick, have a piece.

Pat: That's good!

- It's good!

Clayton.

Clayton: Oh damn!

- This is good!

This might be the best thing we've made.

Pat: Can I have more?

- This is the only thing we've finished so far.

- Plus five.

- Yeah.

- That's... that's the best thing we've made.

This is a crab omelet over rice.

I think the big takeaway is that breakfast food rules.

I want to put this also in the pluses.

- I wouldn't do that.

I wish we had more bread.

- I wish that, too.

I'm gonna say this is a solid 10, though.

So we still have about 26 recipes to get through.

It's 4:30 and we have to be out of here by 6:00.

We left some of the hardest recipes for last.

We're gonna take some liberties.

*Pat laughs* - Okay!

Sadly, those liberties were not taken with the Creamy Heart Soup, which is just a hydromelon,

a voltfruit, a radish, and some milk all blended together.

Delicious.

But the hand pies were chilled enough and ready to be deep fried.

The first ones came out great!

The later ones started to fall apart a little bit, but hey, they were cooked, and we had no time.

We also got cooking on the spicy dishes, which were just habaneros or Goron spice over the

other food we prepared.

- So we're in crunch mode.

We managed to make 11 different things in the past 20 minutes or so.

Uh, that being said, not all of them are great.

- Our pie dough sort of fell apart while we were frying it.

- Mmhmm.

- Theoretically we would have liked to have baked it, but, you know, time.

Raspberry hand pie.

- Okay.

That's good.

That's really not bad!

- Tastes like pie.

Very flaky.

- Yeah, very good.

Nine!

- Think you're being really generous there, but...

- Yeah well I have to be, okay?

- Fine, fine fine fine.

This is literally just pie dough, pumpkin, and sugar.

- Not what I would expect from a pumpkin pie, but not unpleasant.

- I mean, it has no spice.

- Yeah.

Seven?

Eight?

- Seven works for me.

- Okay.

So this one didn't have so much fun in the fryer.

- Yeah, it sort of split apart midway through.

- I just got dough there.

- I got some apple.

- Four.

- Theres a chunk of apple here if you want?

- No.

- Savory!

Over here is the fish pie.

Tastes like burning.

- Yeah.

*Pat laughs*

- I don't hate this.

I'm gonna give this a seven.

- Okay.

- I would eat more of this if I were hungry.

- Alright, I get it.

- This is the meat pie.

That's not bad.

- It works, it's the meat.

- It's the meat, the meat is well made in that one.

Solid eight!

- Yeah.

- And then finally, we were asked to make an egg tart, and as you can see, it didn't

go so hot when you try to make an egg tart in a wok.

I'm gonna say, without trying it, a negative one heart.

- Yeah.

- Which of these terrible concoctions do you want to eat first?

- I think I'll save the soup for last.

- Hmm!

I inhaled some!

*Adam, Pat, and Clayton laugh*

- Let's go with the spicy seafood.

- I'm gonna give this a two.

- I'm gonna give this a six.

- Really!?

- Yeah!

- Before my mouth, like, totally succumbs to the burning.

Mmm!

That's good!

That's good steak, good peppers!

That's a nine from me, baby.

- So this is just honey that's been heated for a while and becomes harder.

It's hard to break apart, and also we couldn't pull it because we don't have enough time.

It's honey.

- It's honey.

- So I can't say it's bad.

But I also don't think I would sit out in the countryside cooking honey.

- If I want something sweet, it's one ingredient.

- That's... okay.

Alright.

- You know what, I'm coming back for more.

- Five!

- Yeah.

- Well now we get to perhaps my favorite meal of the whole day.

And it's got a watermelon, a radish, a dragon fruit, and milk.

So.

Shall we?

- Cheers.

I don't hate it.

I really don't.

- I just wish it was something else.

- It's chunky.

- Okay, on the second sip, I'm coming around to it.

If I had four ingredients, out in the survival, I would not put a watermelon, a dragon fruit,

milk, and a radish into the same thing.

- Yeah, well I would eat them separately, because this is less than the sum of its parts.

- Yeah.

10 out of 10.

With about an hour left on the clockthings got hectic.

Eggs were flying, rice was frying, and I had the unenviable task of deciding how to make

an egg pudding without having the time to steam, chill and make caramel for that pudding.

So...

I just cracked an egg into a pan and put sugar into it.

Pilafs, check!

Fried bananas, check!

Every version of two ingredients haphazardly thrown together into one dish, double check!

There was no more talking.

There was only cooking.

Until we had to make the cakes.

We decided to make pancakes, because, again, we had to do these in pans.

But the fruitcakeoh, the fruitcake posed a challenge.

So we chose to cook that one last while we got ready to eat everything.

- Oh!

That looks like a beef patty.

*everyone laughing*

It looks so... *breaking down*

- We just cooked a fruitcake that looks like it'd be served at McDonalds.

Let's start with the meunières.

So there's seafood, salmon, and porgy.

The seafood meunière, which is just crab in there, it's just one step short of a crab cake.

So I would say, I don't know, like a seven.

- Yeah, I'll put the... the...

- Porgy?

- Porgy!

At a... at a six.

- We're so tired.

Worse than the crab, I'll give this a four, but it's still pretty good.

- Yeah, I can really taste the flour.

It's seafood, it's rice, there's some salt on it.

- Hmm, you can tell that we cooked this first, it is ICE COLD.

- Five!

- Okay!

- I like these mussels.

- Spicy meat and seafood fry.

Get into it.

- How are the peps?

- Not badOooh!

HooHOO!

- Ooh!

- Four.

- Yeah.

- This is the seafood paella.

- Oh yeah, it looks just like paella does.

Look, this is one of three things that have five different ingredients in it in all of

Breath of the Wild.

But none of them are necessarily what makes a paella, namely saffron.

- Well yeah, there's no saffron in Breath of the Wild.

That's not bad!

- Not paella, but not bad.

- I'm gonna give it a seven.

- This is the meat and seafood fry.

- Yeah yeah yeah.

- It's the same thing as this without spicy.

So we've already had the good version of it.

EH!

- Wow, that is somehow even colder than anything else we've eaten so far.

- Two.

- Fair.

Pat: You guys feeling pretty full?

- We've had seven dishes really quickly.

- I'm feeling upset that I've eaten like 70 dishes so far.

- We've only got 10 left, and one of them is this, and we can look forward to...

- STOP POINTING TO IT.

- Beef rice bowl!

This is good.

Nine.

- If it was hot it would have been a 10.

- Yup.

- This is the poultry pilaf.

- Okay...

It's warmer than that so I like it more.

- Yeah, same.

- That's a 10.

- That's good.

- Next up! - *under his breath* oh fuck.

- This is the curry pilaf.

- It's like crispy rice.

I think I fried the rice a little too hard.

- But it's good!

- That's a nine for me.

This is egg pudding, what's in this?

- Well that's milk and sugar and eggs, and we didn't have the ability to do a real egg pudding,

so I kind of just made sweet scrambled eggs.

Oh... oh no.

It's so much a food I expect to be one way, and it is SO not that way!

- On first bite, it like coats your mouth in these tiny curds, and it's just very unpleasant.

Negative... six?

- *laughing* This will hurt you so much.

Let's have something that's slightly better, namely mushrooms and apples.

*everyone laughing*

- What the f...

- This is our hot fruit and mushroom mix.

I can, I can take one for the team and just have this.

- We both gotta suffer.

- Those do not blend together.

- That's very... two distinct flavors.

- They are... at war in my mouth.

- Better than the egg pudding.

- Oh for sure, still a negative one.

- Thank you, something that's good, this is fried bananas.

Mmm!

If they were still warm, that would be unbelievably good.

That's a plus four.

I'm realizing now that all of the things that Link should be eating are gonna, like, kill

him, and they're just carbs, and, like, this is a bad thing.

But!

Plus four.

No doubt.

Hot buttered apple.

Not bad!

Uhhhhhhhhh, nine.

- Oh, alright!

I was gonna go down to like five but sure.

- I was imagining it still warm.

- Okay!

Seven.

- I just am so full.

Just go ahead and break that in half for me.

- Could have used more sugar but... fine.

- Yeah.

Eight.

- Yeah.

- Oh my lord.

- Alright, come on.

Two more.

- Mmhmm.

Worse than that.

Still a six.

- I'm, I'm sorry, I feel like this, this fruitcake is, like, staring into my soul.

I...

It looks too much like me.

Pat: What the fuck did you do?

- Exactly what it told us to do, Patrick!

Uh, it looks like a slice of brain.

I will put it out there.

Here's the thing, we don't have to worry about it being raw because there's no eggs in it.

The last one.

We can do it.

- Please don't ever ask me to do this again.

- Okay!

- You know?

It could have been worse.

It could have been a lot worse.

I don't want to swallow it, but...

- Yeah, it could have been way worse.

My big thing: keep your fruits out of my cakes, I just want a super sweet cake.

I was never gonna like this.

But I'm not gonna give it a negative.

I am gonna give it one heart.

It's dubious at best.

- I haven't swallowed mine, but...

That's bad.

- It bad.

- That's bad cake!

- Adam, now that we have eaten 78 of Link's very own recipes, how do we feel?

- *sigh* I feel like I can't distinguish tastes anymore.

I feel like my taste buds have just been shot to hell.

Um.

I do have a newfound understanding and appreciation for Link in Breath of the Wild, cooking all

of this on the fly.

- Yeah, this was a real challenge.

I'd say what I learned here is that Link is definitely a better cook than I originally

gave him credit for.

Uh, some of these were actually very tasty.

That being said...

Stick to what you know, Link.

Don't try to make fruitcakes.

Don't try to make egg puddings out in the wild.

I think you've got your fried egg and rice.

That's delicious!

Stick with it!

- You've got a wok, you've got a flame, why are you steaming things?

Don't steam things!

Do one thing well!

That's all you need to do.

- Never change.

Stick to what you know.

- Never try and improve.

- Don't try to get better in life.

Those are the things I learned today.

And I think the big thing is that it could have been worse.

- It really could have been worse.

- Not the worst salmon I've had.

- It's not the worst thing!

- Not the worst!

- Could have been worse.

- It could have been worse.

- Could have been worse.

- It could have been a lot worse.

- Yeah, it could have been way worse.

Could have been worse!

- It must be so nice to have a cooking show where, like,

all of the ingredients are prepped for you.

- And somebody's cleaning up after you.

- And someone's cleaning up after you!

And the recipe you're cooking is a good one!

Pat: And not 70.

- And also not 78.

That must be nice.

The Description of We made all 78 Breath of the Wild recipes in one day | Unraveled