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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Lovewrecked

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NOBODY EVER, EVER COULD TELL HER

WHAT IT'S LIKE TO FALL IN LOVE

TIRED OF SEARCHIN', SHE WANTS TO BE PERFECT

NOTHIN'S EVER GOOD ENOUGH

WELL, I WATCH, I WAIT

CATCH HER EYE AND LOOK AWAY

NOBODY EVER, EVER COULD TELL HER

BUT I TRIED

SHE KEEPS ME HANGIN' ON THE LINE

WAITIN' ON A SIGN

EVERY SINGLE NIGHT'S THE SAME

HANGIN' BY THE PHONE

WAITIN' ALL ALONE

EVERYBODY KNOWS HER NAME

( cheering )

Girl: I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!!

I LOVE HIM!

Man: JENNY, SLOW DOWN. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE AN ANEURYSM.

WHAT'S A GIRL TO DO

IN A PERFECT WORLD, I'D BE PERFECT, TOO

OH, MY GOD! YOU'RE THE BEST FRIEND EVER.

THIS IS THE BIRTHDAY OF MY LIFE!

YEAH, WELL, ANYTHING FOR A FRIEND.

HI, GUYS.

EWW! MAKE IT GO AWAY.

FIGURES YOU TWO WOULD BE IN THE CHEAP SEATS, RYAN.

THESE SEATS ARE AMAZING.

YEAH, WELL, I'M DOWN WHERE JASON CAN SWEAT ALL OVER ME.

PEACE OUT, LADIES.

EVERY SINGLE NIGHT

IT'S THE SAME

SHE'S A PERFECT GIRL

Jenny: JASON! WHOO!

IS IT JUST ME, OR IS IT HOT IN HERE?

DON'T DO IT. DON'T YOU DO IT!

YOU DID IT.

YEAH!!

( slow piano intro )

OH, MY GOD! THIS IS MY FAVORITE SONG!

I LOVE YOU!

Jenny: JASON! JASON!

YOU SAY

YOU LIKE TO SLEEP ALONE AND I SAY

I MISS THE WAY YOU BREATHE

YOU SAY

I'M GOING!

YEAH!

JENNY!

A LITTLE TO THE LEFT.

JASON!

HEY, WATCH IT, WATCH IT, DUDE!

♪ ...I CAN'T LEAVE BEHIND

DO YOU FEEL SOMETHIN' ♪

HURRY UP!

FASTER!

PULLING YOU BACK IN? ♪

DO YOU SEE SOMETHIN' ♪

YOU WANNA SEE AGAIN? ♪

I CAN BE THE ONE

I CAN MAKE IT UP TO YOU

TAKE ME BACK

I'M THE LONELY BOY WHO

LOVES YOU

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

( Jenny screams )

COME ON NOW

COME ON, DO YOU FEEL SOMETHING

PULLING YOU BACK IN? ♪

DO YOU SEE SOMETHING

YOU WANNA SEE AGAIN? ♪

I CAN BE THE ONE

I CAN MAKE IT UP TO YOU

TAKE ME BACK

I'M THE LONELY BOY WHO LOVES YOU

JASON, I LOVE YOU!

( audience cheering )

THANK YOU, BOSTON.

Deejay: GOOD MORNING, BEANTOWN.

JASON MASTERS KICKED OFF HIS WORLD TOUR

TO A SELLOUT CROWD LAST NIGHT.

ONE LUCKY FAN MADE IT ONSTAGE,

AND GOT HER OWN PERSONAL SOUVENIR--

THE SHIRT OFF HIS BACK.

Jenny: MOM, YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS.

I WAS PICKED UP BY THE CROWD,

AND I WAS PASSED HAND-OVER-HAND TO JASON,

AND JUST AS I WAS ABOUT TO REACH HIM,

WHO DO I GET KNOCKED DOWN BY?

ALEXIS?

STORY OF MY LIFE.

MOM, DO YOU REALIZE THAT I WASTED ALL OF HIGH SCHOOL

JUST WAITING FOR SOMEBODY TO SWEEP ME OFF MY FEET?

AND NOW TIME'S RUN OUT.

ALL I'VE GOT TO SHOW FOR IT IS A BORING DIPLOMA.

SOMETIMES LOVE JUST SNEAKS UP ON YOU.

FOUR YEARS IN HIGH SCHOOL WITH NO BOYFRIEND? THAT'S SAD.

WHAT ABOUT RYAN?

HE'S MY BEST FRIEND.

THAT'D BE LIKE KISSING MY LITTLE BROTHER.

I NEED A MAN--SOMEONE TOUGH AND RUGGED AND SMOLDERING.

JUST BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR, HONEY.

YOU MIGHT JUST GET IT.

( moans )

YOU AND RYAN ARE GONNA HAVE AN AMAZING TIME.

WORKING ALL SUMMER IN A CARIBBEAN RESORT.

THE TEMPERATURE IN INDONESIA IS 95.

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE MOM ON A REAL VACATION,

LIKE, MAYBE, A COUNTRY WITH INDOOR PLUMBING?

WE GET TO BE IN NATURE'S BELLY.

NO CARS, NO PHONES, NO WORLDWIDE WEB.

JUST THE TWO OF US

YEAH...AND NUDE BEACHES.

( both growl )

I'LL NEVER GET THAT IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD.

DON'T EVEN TRY, SWEETHEART.

OH! OH, I'VE CUT MYSELF. OH, THAT'S BAD.

HERE, DAD.

I'M FEELIN' WEAK; I MIGHT PASS OUT.

IF I DON'T MAKE IT, REMEMBER I LOVE YOU BOTH.

I WANT YOU TO DONATE MY ORGANS TO THE PEOPLE WHO...

OH, THAT'S MUCH BETTER.

THAT'S GOOD, 'CAUSE I COULDN'T DECIDE FOR A MINUTE

WHO I WANTED TO DONATE MY ORGANS TO.

I PROBABLY SHOULD KEEP 'EM.

WELL, YOU ARE GONNA MAKE ONE HELL OF A DOCTOR.

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE BILL YET.

I'M GONNA MISS YOU, BABY.

HAVE WE GOT THE COOLEST DAUGHTER OR WHAT?

WORD, DARLING.

MM, YOU GUYS ARE SO WEIRD.

HELLO!

RYAN!

HEY!

YOU READY?

I WAS BORN READY.

OH, YOU'RE GONNA MISS MY HOME COOKING

IN ST. LUCIA THIS SUMMER.

Jenny: I REALLY DOUBT IT.

SIR, I, UH...

I HOPE YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY WITH THE SITUATION

IN ST. LUCIA THIS SUMMER.

SITUATION?

THE, UM, THE LIVING SITUATION... WITH JENNY AND ME.

OH, YOU MEAN, THE TWO OF YOU BEIN' ROOMIES.

COME ON, RYAN, YOU'RE THE LAST GUY IN THE WORLD

I'M WORRIED ABOUT.

THE DEAD LAST GUY.

I'D BE MORE WORRIED ABOUT THAT RAT-FACED KID LENNY...

THE GUY WITH THE LAZY EYE AND THE BOILS ON HIS CHIN.

BUT I'LL BE SERIOUS WITH YOU.

I AM DOWN WITH IT. IT IS TIGHT, MAN.

TOTALLY COOL.

YOU HAVE A KICK-ASS TIME.

NOW GIVE ME FIVE.

AND UP HIGH. MOTOWN BOUNCE.

SLIP AND SLIDE, BACK SIDE.

KEEP ON TRUCKIN', MY MAN.

WELCOME TO SUN VILLAGE BEACH RESORT.

THANK YOU.

OH!

NOT BAD.

HEY.

WOW!

PRETTY RAD, HUH?

THIS IS SO COOL.

OH, MY GOD, I'M SORRY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I DIDN'T KNOW THE HOTEL TOOK FOOD STAMPS.

WE'RE HERE ON THE SCHOOL SUMMER JOB PROGRAM.

YOU FOUND OUT THIS WAS JASON'S FAVORITE RESORT, DIDN'T YOU?

WHO DOESN'T KNOW?

IF HE SHOWS UP, STAY OUTTA MY WAY.

HE'S MINE.

UP YOUR MEDS, ALEXIS.

WHATEVER. JUST STAY OUTTA MY WAY.

YOU BEEN PUMPING UP, RYAN?

I LIKE IT.

THANKS.

MY DAD BOUGHT A BOWFLEX.

WHAT?

THIS WILL BE YOUR HOME FOR THE NEXT THREE MONTHS.

THIS IS THE FINEST RESORT IN THE CARIBBEAN.

NOW, I EXPECT YOU TO PROTECT THE IMAGE

OF THE SUN VILLAGE BEACH RESORT

AT COFRESI BEACH WITH YOUR LIVES IF NECESSARY.

( chuckles )

DID I MAKE A JOKE?

EH...

YOU LAUGH.

I DIDN'T MAKE A JOKE.

NO, I JUST REMEMBERED A JOKE.

THAT I TOLD HIM ON THE PLANE.

TWO PRIESTS AND A RABBI... IN A BOAT.

THERE'LL BE NO DRINKING AND NO DRUGS.

THERE'LL BE NO CANOODLING WITH GUESTS,

AND NO HANKY-PANKY.

THIS IS THE WALL OF JERICHO.

OH, WELL, WE'RE NOT TOGETHER.

YEAH, THERE WILL BE NO HANKY-PANKY HERE.

I WANT NO TROUBLE.

¿COMPRENDE?

Both: COMPRENDE.

YOUR ASSIGNMENTS ARE ON THE BOARD.

YOU WILL WORK AS A LIFEGUARD.

AND YOU WILL WORK AS A FLOATER.

A FLOATER?

YOU'LL FLOAT FROM ONE TASK TO THE NEXT.

YOU WILL FILL IN WHERE NEEDED.

THESE ARE YOUR EMPLOYEE HANDBOOKS.

I EXPECT YOU TO STUDY IT, KNOW IT, LIVE IT.

¿COMPRENDE?

YES, MR. HERNANDEZ.

I MEAN, COMPRENDE.

HERE'S YOUR MAMA-WANNA, MA'AM.

THANKS.

HEY, RYAN, I'M DIGGIN' THIS OLDER WOMAN THING.

SEE, SOME GUYS WOULDN'T EVEN ROLL LIKE THAT.

MY DEAL IS IF SHE SLIDES A ROLEX MY WAY,

I'LL BE THE BABY.

I'LL BE THE BIGGEST BABY YOU KNOW.

'CAUSE I DON'T CARE, MAN. OH-LA, OH-LA!

MAN, CHECK THE HONEY WITH THE MONEY.

HEY, THAT GIRL'S GONNA BE IN THE HOT TUB

WITHIN TWO TO THREE.

WATCH AND LEARN, HOMES, WATCH AND LEARN. HA HA!

Kid: I GOT IT.

Chase: HEY. HEY, GIRL, YOU FINE.

Girl: THANK YOU.

I'M THE BIKINI INSPECTOR AROUND HERE.

GOTTA CHECK IF YOU UP TO CODE, YOU UNDERSTAND?

I AIN'T MAD AT YA.

THAT'S A'IGHT 'CAUSE YOU'RE STILL FINE. STILL FINE.

SMOOTH, CHASE.

HEY, MAN, YOU CAN'T FAULT A BROTHER FOR TRYIN'.

THAT'S ALL I'M SAYIN'.

Boy: HELP!

HELP!

HELP!

I'LL GO CALL IN THE CODE.

MM. DO THAT.

HEY, BABY! DID I ROCK YOUR WORLD?

NEVER MIND.

MOMMY!

YEAH, YOU BETTER RUN!

JENNY, A REMINDER.

HOTEL POLICY STRICTLY PROHIBITS THE KILLING OF GUESTS.

I DIDN'T GET THE MEMO.

THE LITTLE DEVIANT CONNED ME GOOD.

OOH, THE PUDGE WHO CRIED WOLF.

RIGHT. AND I GOT DROOLED ON, TOO.

EW! AND MY MOUTH TASTES LIKE CAP'N CRUNCH.

YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH IMPULSE CONTROL, DO YOU?

WHAT'S THAT?

THOUGHT SO.

SO WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' TONIGHT?

GARGLING CLOROX.

Boy: I KISSED A HOTTIE!

THEN KILLING MYSELF.

OKAY. BUT BEFORE THAT?

I DON'T KNOW. WHY? YOU WANNA HANG OUT?

UM, WELL, YEAH. I MEAN, IF YOU WANT TO.

RYAN, PLEASE ASSERT YOURSELF.

OKAY, WELL, IF YOU WANT TO, AND ONLY IF YOU WANT TO,

WE COULD DO SOMETHING.

BUT ONLY IF YOU WANT TO, BECAUSE I WANT WHAT YOU WANT.

ALL RIGHT, WELL, IT'S A START.

Boy: YO, YO, YO.

CANNONBALL! OH...AH!

HEY, HEY, CAN I GET SOME HELP OVER HERE?

COMING.

LET ME SEE HIM. OKAY.

YOU'LL LIVE...UNFORTUNATELY.

( groaning )

AND THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR KISSING HOTTIES.

YO, YOU BEEN HOLDIN' OUT ON ME. WHO IS THAT?

JENNY TAYLOR. SHE'S TOO YOUNG FOR YOU.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!

( singing in Spanish )

( singing continues )

IT'S NOT FAIR.

WHAT?

LOOK AT THEM.

CLOSEST THING I'VE HAD TO A DATE IS A FAT KID WITH BREASTS.

GUYS ASK YOU OUT.

YEAH, BUT I'M A WOMAN, RYAN.

YOU WANT THE RIGHT GUY TO ASK YOU OUT.

I'M OKAY, RIGHT? NOTHING'S WRONG WITH ME?

YOU'RE PERFECT.

THANKS.

WELL, YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO SEEMS TO THINK SO.

JENNY?

YEAH.

WHAT? IS THERE SOMETHING ON MY FACE?

NO, NO. IT'S JUST, UM...

Jenny: PUT ME...PUT ME DOWN.

WEIRD.

YEAH, I COULD GET USED TO THIS.

WATER LOOKS SO GREAT. YOU WANNA RACE?

LET'S DO IT!

WHOO!

OH, COME ON.

IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?

HEY!

THIS MAY NEVER START

WE COULD FALL APART

AND I'D BE YOUR MEMORY

LOST YOUR SENSE OF FEAR

FEELINGS INSINCERE

CAN I BE YOUR MEMORY? ♪

SO GET BACK, BACK, BACK TO WHERE WE LAST... ♪

HEY, CHECK OUT THAT SWIMSUIT.

( laughing )

WHO IS THE GROSSEST PERSON WE KNOW?

OH, NO CONTEST. CHESTER ARBITER.

EW! I REMEMBER CHESTER ARBITER.

THIRD GRADE?

YEAH.

HE USED TO STICK HIS FINGER UP HIS NOSE AND WIGGLE HIS EYE.

YEAH.

YEAH, WE GOT A WINNER.

YOU HAD A CRUSH ON HIM.

WITH THE EYE WIGGLER?

OH, ABSOLUTELY.

UH-HUH. YOU BET!

NO!

I HAVE TO GO.

WHERE?

SHOPPING.

WANT ME TO COME? I THOUGHT MAYBE--

FOR BRAS.

Milo: ...EXPLICITLY STATES ROOM-TEMPERATURE EVIAN,

AND RED SOUR SKITTLES ONLY.

WE'RE NOT DOING THAT KIND OF PRESS ANYMORE.

GET CLAY AIKEN FOR THE COVER. THAT HILLBILLY WILL DO ANYTHING.

Milo: JUST THROW OUT THE GREEN ONES.

THEY MAKE HIM NERVOUS.

EXCUSE ME.

WELCOME BACK TO THE SUN VILLAGE BEACH RESORT

AT COFRESI BEACH, MR. MASTERS.

YOU...LOOK AMAZING, AS ALWAYS.

YOU ARE OUR FAVORITE GUEST.

I BELIEVE THIS IS YOUR 15th VISIT--

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. WE'VE HEARD IT ALL BEFORE.

"WE HOPE YOUR STAY WILL BE A RESTFUL ONE,"

AND ALL THAT CRAP.

SAVE IT FOR SOMEONE WHO CARES, LOVE.

PRESIDENTIAL SUITE.

HELLO, JENNY.

( mockingly sweet voice ) HELLO.

THE GREAT THING ABOUT BEING HEAD LIFEGUARD

IS I CAN SEE THE FUTURE.

REALLY? WHAT'S IN MINE?

YOU'RE TAKING MY SHIFT TOMORROW MORNING.

WHAT?! WHEN DO YOU WORK?

WHEN I WANT TO.

ALEXIS!

( blows whistle )

THAT'S IMMEDIATE SUPERVISOR ALEXIS. T.T.F.N.

HOW'S THE NEW BOSS?

CRUELLA? WHAT'S THE PENALTY FOR SECOND-DEGREE MURDER?

NOW THAT YOU'VE TOLD ME, IT'S FIRST DEGREE.

OH, RIGHT. SO WHAT'S UP?

PROMISE YOU WON'T MAKE A SCENE.

PLEASE.

AS WE SPEAK, JASON MASTERS IS CHECKING IN.

JASON'S HERE? HE'S HERE?!

YEAH, HE'S HERE ON A LAYOVER.

OH, MY GOD! HE'S HERE RIGHT NOW!

JASON MASTERS IS HERE!

DON'T TELL ALEXIS.

TWO DAYS OF R & R HERE,

AND I'LL SCHEDULE YOUR TEETH WHITENING

FOR AFTER LUNCH, OKAY, LOVE?

I NEED HIM FOR FIVE MINUTES.

NO.

OKAY, DON'T DO THIS TO ME.

YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM.

I AM CRAMPING, I AM CRANKY.

PLEASE HOLD. PEOPLE MAGAZINE.

HOUSTON ASTRODOME.

Both: WHAT?

TODD, I'VE MISSED YOU.

NO, I SAID RED SKITTLES.

Belinda: BECAUSE JASON IS NEEDY, THAT'S WHY.

WHOA!

ARE YOU OKAY?

I'M FINE.

OH, MY GOD.

YOU SURE?

NEVER BETTER.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

JENNY.

MY FIRST CRUSH WAS NAMED JENNY.

Hernandez: JUAN CARLOS, JUAN MARCOS,

PEPE, FRONT!

I'LL SHOW YOU TO YOUR VILLA.

BE CAREFUL, BEAUTIFUL.

HE'S A GOD.

SHORT GOD.

Hernandez: ...YOUR FAVORITE VILLA

HERE AT THE SUN VILLAGE BEACH RESORT

AT THE COFRESI BEACH.

I HAVE PERSONALLY MADE SURE

THAT EVERYTHING IS JUST THE WAY YOU LIKE IT.

YOU MEAN LIKE WITHOUT YOU HERE?

THE LABEL. JASON'S ASTROLOGER.

OH, THANK GOD.

SO THE MOON AND JUPITER ARE ALIGNED.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

YO, JASON.

WHICH ONE OF US IS HOTTER?

YOU'RE A SUNSET, YOU'RE A RAINBOW.

HOW CAN I CHOOSE BETWEEN THAT?

DON'T PUSH ME!

DON'T PUSH ME...

( both girls scream )

DIESEL SENT THIS OVER. ISN'T IT FIERCE?

IT'S LIKE, "COME HERE BUT GO AWAY.

BIG STRONG MAN, HOLD ME."

SEXY, BUT NOT YET.

BELINDA, HE JUST GOT OFF HIS LEAR JET AFTER SIX HOURS.

DO THAT LATER.

HEY, SHE'S NOT A PIZZA. DON'T ORDER HER, OKAY?

THANK YOU.

( cell phones ringing )

CHEERS.

YO.

BONJOUR.

( groans loudly )

OH, DIOS MIO.

I THINK JASON AND I HAD A CONNECTION.

NOT THIS AGAIN.

I DON'T BELIEVE IN COINCIDENCES.

ALMOST MEETING HIM AT THE CONCERT IN BOSTON

AND THEN MEETING HIM IN THE LOBBY?

WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

A ROCK STAR STAYING AT A RESORT.

IT IS SHOCKING, I TELL YOU.

STOP IT. I THINK IF HE MET ME, I MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE.

AND WHEN YOU HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY, YOU TAKE IT.

YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A LITTLE KID.

ARE YOU CALLING ME IMMATURE?

SHOE, FOOT, FITS. YEAH, I AM.

LOOK, I DON'T WANNA BE 90 AND DEAD

THINKING THAT I MIGHT HAVE HAD A SHOT.

DO YOU EVEN THINK WHEN YOU'RE DEAD?

I DON'T WANNA SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE

WONDERING "WHAT IF."

WELL, YOU BETTER MOVE FAST.

WHAT?

HE'S LEAVING TOMORROW.

I TOLD YOU, HE'S ONLY HERE ON A LAYOVER. HE'S GOT A CONCERT IN D.C.

SO THAT ONLY LEAVES TONIGHT.

TONIGHT HE'S GOING ON THE SUNSET PIRATE CRUISE,

SO FORGET IT.

PIRATE CRUISE.

ALL RIGHT, JASON,

WHO'S THE LUCKY GIRL YOU'RE INTO TONIGHT?

FOUND OUT IF SHE HAS ANYTHING OUT OF WHACK.

HELLO, DARLING.

HELLO.

TELL ME, EVERY SPENT ANY TIME IN A NUT HOUSE?

NEVER BEEN.

( groans )

( grunting )

TWO WORDS FOR YOU: MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION.

HM?

STOP EATING.

WE'RE HEADED FOR A TROPICAL DEPRESSION.

PLOT THE NEW HEADING.

YES, SIR.

( thunder crashes )

JASON!

( groaning )

DEVILED EGG?

( retching )

( vomiting )

ARE YOU OKAY?

OH, I SEE YOU HAD THE CARIBBEAN STEW FOR DINNER.

HOW'S THAT?

PERFECT.

( passengers screaming )

MAN OVERBOARD! MAN OVERBOARD!

HELP!

( Jason coughing )

( Jenny shrieking )

Jenny: GRAB THE RAFT QUICK.

HELP! HELP!

HEY! HELP!

COME BACK!

HELP!

WHAT HAPPENED?

YOU FELL OVERBOARD.

OH, THIS IS BAD.

Woman: I DON'T SEE HIM. WHERE IS HE?

Milo: I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM EITHER.

I MEAN, HE CAN'T BE TOO FAR. HE MIGHT BE RIGHT DOWN HERE.

MR. MASTERS IS NOT ON BOARD.

WHAT?

WE'RE MISSING A LIFE RAFT, TOO.

DON'T MUCK ABOUT. GO OUT AND FIND HIM!

IN THIS WEATHER WITH 150-MILE-AN-HOUR WINDS?! NO.

WE CALLED THE COAST GUARD.

( stammering )

( thunder crashes )

I'M TOAST.

JASON.

AH! WHY'D YOU HIT ME?

I HEARD AN IRREGULAR HEARTBEAT.

WHO ARE YOU?

JENNY TAYLOR. WE MET IN THE LOBBY.

I FELL, AND THEN YOU SAID, "BE CAREFUL, BEAUTIFUL."

RIGHT.

I DON'T SEE THE BOAT. DO YOU SEE THE BOAT?

I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK YOU. THE SONG "LOVE IS A VEIL..."

IS THAT ABOUT AVRIL?

WHAT? NO, NO.

HAVE YOU SEEN A PLANE, ANYTHING?

I MADE A BET WITH MY FRIEND WENDY.

SHE SWORE UP AND DOWN THAT SONG WAS ABOUT AVRIL,

AND I'M HEARING FROM THE HORSE'S MOUTH

THAT IT WASN'T.

THAT'S WORTH A FREE DINNER AT CLAIM JUMPER.

CAN WE SAVE THE TEEN PEOPLE INTERVIEW TILL LATER?

IT'S SO COOL THAT WE'RE HANGING OUT RIGHT NOW.

WE'RE IN A RAFT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN.

DO YOU SEE THE PROBLEM?

IT'S AMAZING.

GUESS NOT.

EVEN AFTER PUKING, FALLING OVERBOARD

AND SPENDING THE NIGHT IN A RAFT

AND ALMOST DYING IN A STORM, YOU STILL LOOK REALLY GOOD.

AH! OH!

OH, GOD!

WHAT?

THERE'S A SHARK OUT THERE.

WHERE'D HE GO? WHERE'D HE GO?

WHERE'D HE GO? HE'S UNDER THE BOAT.

AH! NOT GOOD. NOT GOOD.

( screaming )

( dolphin chittering )

I KNEW IT WAS A DOLPHIN.

( chuckles quietly )

( alarm buzzing )

( Jason Masters' song blaring loudly from radio )

JENNY, CAN YOU TURN IT OFF?

JENNY, PLEASE.

PLEASE JUST SHUT IT OFF.

LOOK!

PADDLE.

IS IT TRUE THAT YOU'RE DATING HILARY DUFF?

WHAT? NO.

GOOD, 'CAUSE I DON'T THINK SHE'S RIGHT FOR YOU.

WOULD YOU PICK UP THE PADDLE?

AH!

WOULD YOU JUST...

Jason: THIS IS GROSS.

AH! OW! MY ANKLE!

ARE YOU OKAY?

( groaning )

OKAY, HOLD ON. WAIT.

WAIT, LET ME SEE.

IT'S A GREAT DAY.

IT'S OKAY. LET ME SEE. I KNOW WHAT TO DO.

( shrieking )

YEP, JUDGING FROM THE GIRLISH PITCH OF YOUR SCREAM,

YOU MAY HAVE BROKEN IT.

HMM.

YET YOU REMAIN ALL MAN TO ME.

HOW AM I GONNA GET UP THE BEACH?

OKAY, LOOK...

I'LL GO GET SOME HELP, AND YOU JUST WAIT HERE.

OF COURSE, THAT'S SILLY BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GO ANYWHERE.

( giggles )

YOU JUST SIT TIGHT.

WRITE A SONG.

WHERE DO YOU GO? ♪

WHERE DO YOU HIDE? ♪

WHERE DO YOU DISAPPEAR? ♪

WHERE DO YOU GO? ♪

HELLO!

WHERE DO YOU HIDE? ♪

A MILLION MILES AWAY FROM HERE

I CAN'T FIGHT THIS VELOCITY

THERE'S SOMETHING OUT THERE I CAN'T SEE

THE STATE I'M IN IS THE WAY I FEEL

OH, MY GOD!

HOLD ON, HOLD ON

HOLD ON TO ME

SO IS HELP COMIN'?

UH, NO. NO, I DON'T THINK SO.

WHY NOT?

( clears throat )

WELL, CUSTOMARILY, WHEN YOU GET HELP,

IT, UH, REQUIRES, WELL...

FINDING ANOTHER PERSON.

AND WHY DIDN'T YOU FIND ANYONE?

TWO OPTIONS:

OPTION NUMBER ONE:

EVERYONE ELSE ON THE PLANET

HAS BEEN KILLED BY AN ALIEN DEATH RAY...

...WHICH ISN'T LIKELY.

AND OPTION TWO?

THE STORM MUST'VE SENT US HUNDRED OF MILES AWAY.

WE'RE MAROONED.

WHAT, LIKE THE COLOR?

HAVE YOU SEEN JENNY?

NO, MAN. WHY?

SHE DIDN'T COME HOME LAST NIGHT.

CHECK THE BEACH?

SO YOU WEREN'T WITH HER?

NO, BUT I DID SEE HER SNEAKIN' ON TO THE PIRATE CRUISE

IN A WAITRESS UNIFORM LOOKIN' MIGHTY SLIM SHADY.

Man: THE MUSIC WORLD IS AWAITING WORD ON THE WHEREABOUTS

OF POP ICON JASON MASTERS.

THE TRIPLE-PLATINUM SELLING RECORDING ARTIST

WAS LOST AT SEA LAST NIGHT, AND THERE ARE REPORTS

THAT A MYSTERY WOMAN WAS LOST WITH HIM.

DID YOU ACTUALLY SEE JASON FALL OVERBOARD?

NO, I BELIEVE THAT HAPPENED BELOW DECK.

SIR, CAN YOU GIVE US AN UPDATE ON THE SEARCH FOR JASON MASTERS?

WELL, THE TIDES ARE A POWERFUL FORCE.

WE'RE COVERING A 500-MILE AREA

WITH EVERY ASSET AVAILABLE TO US.

Woman: COULD THEY HAVE SURVIVED?

IF THEY USED THE LIFE RAFT, IT INCREASES THEIR CHANCES.

Woman: CAN YOU CONFIRM

THAT THE MISSING WOMAN IS JENNY TAYLOR?

THE MANIFEST SAYS

THAT JENNY TAYLOR IS UNACCOUNTED FOR.

MY GOD!

MY JASON LOST AT SEA! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!

JENNY.

I SAY WE GET BACK IN THE RAFT.

HOW DO WE NAVIGATE?

NO, WE'RE GONNA SEND UP A FLARE AND GET SOME HELP.

HERE, LET ME DO THAT.

NO, I GOT IT.

NO, NO, REALLY.

SERIOUSLY, JASON, SIT.

YOUR FOOT--I GOT IT.

( air escaping noisily )

SMOOTH.

FACTORY DEFECT?

WELL, I AM WRITING A NASTY LETTER TO THE MANUFACTURER.

Woman: CAN YOU CONFIRM

THAT THE MISSING WOMAN WITH JASON IS LINDSAY LOHAN?

THAT IS RIDICULOUS. NO MORE COMMENTS!

IS THIS A COVER-UP FOR A SECRET MARRIAGE?

YOU'RE FIRING ME FOR LOSING HIM? WHY IS IT MY FAULT?

YES, I'M THE ROAD MANAGER, BUT WHERE DOES IT SAY

I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS WELL-BEING?

IT'S IN MY CONTRACT?

WHERE DOES IT SAY THAT?

HELLO.

YOU CAN'T SACK ME.

CAN YOU PLEASE HOLD?

LOOK, PLEASE.

HELLO? HELLO? HELLO?

BOLLOCKS!

YEAH, I'VE GOT YOUR WIFE ON LINE ONE

AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND ON LINE TWO.

DID THEY BOTH JUST HEAR THAT?

OOPS. MY BAD.

HELLO, DARLING.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

HOW'S THE DOG?

PASS NEGATIVE. I'M HEADING WEST TO CHECK THAT AREA.

Man: YOU'VE REACHED THE TAYLORS.

JENNY'S IN THE CARIBBEAN,

BEN AND BREE ARE IN THE JUNGLES OF INDONESIA...

POSSIBLY NAKED.

LEAVE A MESSAGE.

( machine beeps )

Jenny: OKAY.

WE'VE GOT A JASON MASTERS KEYCHAIN,

A PAPER CLIP, A ROOM KEY TO THE BEVERLY WILSHIRE,

1,000 PESOS, A FIRST-AID KIT FROM THE RAFT,

SOME WET MATCHES AND ADVIL.

THAT'S IT?

OH, AND THREE SUGAR-FREE CERTS.

WE'RE DOOMED.

NO, WE'RE NOT.

WE'RE GONNA LIVE OFF THE LAND...

LIKE THE CASTAWAYS WE ARE.

HOW?

( grunting )

MAYBE IT'S A BAD ONE.

( grunting )

THEN WHAT'S FOR LUNCH?

THERE'S A REASON FOR THIS SITUATION

IT'S AMAZING THE SHOCKING REVELATION

LOVE IS CRAZY

IT'S GOT ME UPSIDE DOWN

GOT ME UPSIDE DOWN

WHEN LIFE HITS YOU AND LOVE GETS YOU

YOU JUST GOTTA GO WITH THE FLOW

( screams )

EVERYTHING IS ALMOST PERFECT HERE

THE REASON IS COMING CRYSTAL CLEAR

I THINK I REALLY DIG THIS ATMOSPHERE

IT'S ALMOST PERFECT HERE

POOR JASON, LOST AT SEA.

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW JASON. I'VE KNOWN JENNY FOREVER.

WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT HER?

DO YOU HAVE A LITTLE THING FOR TAYLOR?

NO. IT'S JUST THAT--

YOU DO.

IS SHE AS DULL A KISSER AS I THOUGHT?

YOU CAN TELL ME. NO FUN, RIGHT?

I WOULDN'T KNOW.

ARE YOU A VIRGO?

HE'S KIND OF A CUTE ONE.

I CAN'T TAKE IT. WE'RE GONNA STARVE TO DEATH.

JUST HOLD ON.

YOU'RE JASON MASTERS, FOR GOD'S SAKES.

THE WHOLE WORLD IS LOOKING FOR YOU.

WE'LL BE FOUND IN NO TIME.

HOW'D YOU GET SO HANDY WITH THE MEDICAL TAPE?

I'M GONNA BE PRE-MED IN THE FALL.

OH, I KNEW YOU WERE A SMART GIRL.

YEAH, BUT DON'T TELL ANYONE.

APPARENTLY, GUYS DON'T LIKE GIRLS WITH BRAINS.

I HAVE MET SOME OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN THE WORLD.

BUT IF THEY'RE BRAIN DEAD, I MOVE ON.

I MEAN, WHAT'S THE POINT OF HAVING BEAUTY

IF YOU DON'T HAVE BRAINS, HUH?

MY GIRL'S GOTTA BE SMART.

YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU LOOK A LITTLE FLUSHED.

OH, YEAH. NO. I'M FINE.

OKAY, WELL...I'M GONNA GO. I'LL BE BACK.

( giggles )

WELL, WHAT CAN I DO?

JUST REST THAT ANKLE.

( giggles )

AND DO YOUR HAIR LIKE THIS.

PERFECT.

IT'S ALMOST PERFECT HERE

Man: ANYTHING?

NOTHING, SIR.

BEATING SUN, NO FOOD, NO WATER.

NO CHANCE.

SCRAMBLED.

FRIED, POACHED.

( yelling )

JENNY.

JENNY!

HOW DO I GET BACK TO THAT BEACH?

I'M GONNA DIE, I'M GONNA DIE.

JASON!

JASON, WE'RE SAVED!

YOU CAME BACK!

YOU WERE GONE SO LONG,

I THOUGHT SOMETHING HAPPENED TO YOU.

I COULDN'T IMAGINE GOING THROUGH THIS WITHOUT YOU.

JASON--

I NEED YOU.

YOU NEED ME?

OF COURSE.

DON'T WORRY.

WE'LL GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER.

SHE LIKES THE BOYS IN THE BAND

I'M MOVING FAST AS I CAN

SLIDIN' OVER IN HER DIRECTION

PAUSE TO CHECK ON MY REFLECTION

SHE'S WEARING ALL THE RIGHT CLOTHES

A JAM IS PLAYIN' ON THE STEREO

HOW'S YOUR ANKLE?

OH, THIS ADVIL'S A LIFESAVER.

CAN'T FEEL A THING.

HOW'D YOU DO THAT?

OH, WHAT, THE FIRE?

JUST A LITTLE THING CALLED PHYSICS.

YOU CREATE KINETIC ENERGY BETWEEN TWO SURFACES.

AND VOILA! FIRE.

WHERE'D YOU LEARN THAT?

GIRL SCOUTS. OYSTERS?

SWEET. WHERE'D YOU GET THESE?

THE OCEAN, OF COURSE.

( giggles )

( sighs contentedly )

OH, I WAS STARVIN'.

WELL, NOT WITH JENNY TAYLOR ON THE CASE.

OH, I HOPE YOU LIKE MANGOS.

( grunts ) YOU'RE A LIFESAVER.

( eating noisily )

( slurping )

Ryan: HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO WORK WITH JENNY MISSING?

YOU STILL HAVE A JOB TO DO. GO FLOAT.

YOU GOT ME GOIN' ♪

LIKE I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOIN' ♪

YOU SAY THE LIFE I LEAD IS LEADIN' ME TO RUIN

BUT I THINK IT'S ALL RIGHT

I THINK WE LOST SIGHT

DON'T EVEN KNOW IN WHICH DIRECTION I AM MOVIN' ♪

ROUND AND ROUND AND ROUND I GO

ROUND AND ROUND, HIGH AND LOW

SHAKE IT UP, SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE

SHAKE IT UP, SHAKE IT UP

TILL YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

YOU GOTTA SHAKE IT UP

SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE IT UP, SHAKE IT UP

SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE IT UP

HANDSTAND.

( growls )

IN THE WATER!

( seal barking )

Trainer: SUCH AN IDIOT.

ONCE YOU WERE SOMEONE, SOMEONE

A-MAKIN' YOUR WAY THROUGH THAT STAGE

WHEN YOU HUNGERED FOR SOME KIND OF SUBSTANCE

BUT YOU JUST AREN'T BLUFFIN' UNDERAGE

HEY

YOU KNEW YOU'D BE... ♪

BANANA?

YOU ROCK.

I WAS JUST THINKING THAT YOUR LIFE IS SUCH A WHIRLWIND--

THE CONCERTS AND SHOOTING ON LOCATION.

HOW CAN YOU STAND BEING ALONE WITH JUST ME?

IT'S NOT SO BAD.

IT'S ACTUALLY THE FIRST TIME IN TWO YEARS

I'VE BEEN ABLE TO THINK.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT?

STUFF.

THINGS...

OTHER STUFF...YA KNOW.

THE WHOLE DEAL.

HMM. SO YOUR GIRLFRIEND MUST BE GOING NUTS RIGHT NOW.

SHE'S NOT 'CAUSE I'M IN BETWEEN.

YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.

NO, IT'S LIKE YOU SAID, YOU KNOW.

IT GETS SO BUSY.

WHAT ABOUT YOU THOUGH?

WHAT ABOUT ME?

YOUR BOYFRIEND--HE MUST BE GOIN' OUT OF HIS MIND.

OH, I'M NOT WITH ANYONE. I'M FREE AS A BIRD.

COME ON.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAVEN'T HOOKED UP WITH SOMEONE.

I MEAN, A GUY WOULD BE NUTS TO GIVE UP A GIRL LIKE YOU.

WELL, IF YOU'RE TRYIN' TO MAKE ME BLUSH, THEN...

YOU'VE SUCCEEDED.

YOU ARE AN AMAZING GIRL.

IT SUCKS TO BE MAROONED, BUT IF I HAD TO BE MAROONED,

I'M GLAD IT'S WITH YOU.

( laughs, then snorts )

PRETEND THAT YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT.

YOU GOT IT.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

( groans sleepily )

TONIGHT, ON INN NEWS,

ARE WE SPENDING TOO MUCH MONEY RESCUING FAT CAT STARS?

YOU'LL DECIDE. LET'S TAKE IT AGAIN.

STILL NO WORD FROM JASON MASTERS

OR HIS FEMALE COMPANION JENNY TAYLOR.

WAS IT LOVE GONE BAD ON THE HIGH SEAS--

A JILTED LOVER SENDING HIM TO THE BRINY DEEP?

ONLY TIME WILL TELL.

YES, I'VE JUST CONFIRMED THAT JASON WAS WEARING

GIORDANO SLACKS AND SANDALS BY VILLA LOBOS.

THIRSTY?

OH, YEAH.

YOU LOOK...

ARE YOU WEARING LIPSTICK?

OH, I FOUND SOME BERRIES THAT HAD A GREAT COLOR.

YOU LIKE?

YOUR HAIR.

GENETICS.

YOU ARE THE PRETTIEST GIRL ON THE ISLAND.

WELL, I'M THE ONLY GIRL ON THE ISLAND.

YOU'RE SO OPTIMISTIC. I LOVE THAT ABOUT YOU.

WELL, THAT'S WHAT MAKES ME ME.

YOU SAVED MY LIFE, JENNY.

I WON'T FORGET THAT.

OH...YOU WOULD'VE DONE THE SAME FOR ME.

( men whistling and whooping )

WHAT WAS THAT?

WHAT WAS WHAT?

( whistling )

THAT.

A TROPICAL BIRD. A TWIN-BREASTED FARTHING.

( whooping )

AHH!

YOU OKAY?

OH! YES, I JUST REMEMBERED

I LEFT MY GAS ON AT THE APARTMENT.

IT'S GONNA COST ME A FORTUNE. KIWI?

THANKS.

( groaning sensually )

$25,000?

ANACONDA RECORDS HAS DECLINED TO PICK UP THE TAB

SINCE MR. MASTERS ISN'T RESIDING HERE.

AND YOU AND YOUR POSSE

HAVE CONTINUED TO GET THE MASSAGE,

THE ROOM SERVICE, THE DINNER,

THE SCUBA LESSONS!

I CAN'T PAY THIS.

REALLY?

LISTEN, WE'RE IN A STATE OF GRIEVING.

SAVE IT FOR SOMEONE WHO CARES.

( toilet flushing )

DAMN, MILO.

CAN YOU AT LEAST LIGHT A MATCH?

THIS IS INHUMANE.

YOU'VE GOT TO GET US BACK THE VILLA.

MY SCIATICA IS KILLING ME. I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AND TAKE THE BED.

I DON'T THINK SO.

UH, STOP ME.

ALL RIGHT.

MILO!

OW!

Man: MILO, ARE YOU THERE?

YOU LOST JASON MASTERS.

I DIDN'T LOSE HIM. HE BLOODY VANISHED.

FIND HIM.

( line disconnects )

THAT'S MY SUGAR!

Man: AND NOW, THE NEWS.

JASON MASTERS IS STILL LOST AT SEA.

HE WAS ABOUT TO COME OUT WITH HIS OWN LINE OF COLOGNE

CALLED MASTERS SMELL,

WHICH WAS TO FEATURE PART OF HIS OWN DNA.

ALAS, HIS DNA MAY BE SEEN NO MORE.

Jenny: EXCUSE ME.

IS THIS ENOUGH?

NO.

CAN I HAVE SOME CREDIT, PLEASE?

CREDIT?

NO.

NO.

I'VE MISSED YOU.

( shower running )

JENNY! OH, MY GOD!

OH, MY GOD!

RYAN?

YOU'RE ALIVE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONE.

RYAN!

ARE YOU OKAY?

RYAN! YOU'RE HUGGING ME; I'M NAKED.

OH, SORRY.

OKAY, YOU'RE LOOKING AT ME AND I'M NAKED,

WHICH ISN'T AS BAD AS YOU HUGGING ME NAKED,

BUT STILL, IT'S REALLY BAD.

TOWEL! TOWEL!

TOWEL.

WHAT SMELLS?

BRENT HAS ME FEEDING SEA LIONS OVER AT OCEAN WORLD.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA

WHAT I'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH?

OH, YOU MISS ME? THAT'S SWEET.

JENNY, WHAT HAPPENED?

IT'S KINDA COMPLICATED.

COMPLICATED? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

IT'S EASIER IF I SHOW YOU.

OVER THERE.

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

IT JUST SORT OF HAPPENED.

ISN'T THIS LIKE KIDNAPPING OR SOMETHING?

NO. IT'S ONLY KIDNAPPING

WHEN YOU KNOW THAT YOU'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED.

YOU DO KNOW HOW NUTS YOU SOUND?

RYAN, I THINK HE'S ACTUALLY FALLING FOR ME.

YEAH, WELL, PLAN ON A LOT OF COMPETITION.

NO. HE LIKES THAT I'M SMART, AND IF THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN,

WE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER.

IT'S COSMIC.

( grunts )

LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU GET BACK FROM JUPITER.

RYAN, I NEED YOUR HELP.

NO, WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS GET A GRIP.

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT--

IMPULSE CONTROL.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW WONDERFUL HE IS.

WHAT'S SO INCREDIBLE ABOUT HIM?

LOOK, I SPENT ALL OF HIGH SCHOOL SEQUESTERED IN THE LIBRARY

JUST WISHING THAT SOMEBODY WOULD WANT ME,

AND SUDDENLY, JASON MASTERS ACTUALLY LIKES ME--

BORING, PLAIN, BOOKISH JENNY TAYLOR

FROM THE SUBURBS OF MASSACHUSETTS.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING THAT GIRL

FROM MASSACHUSETTS, JENNY.

NOTHING AT ALL.

LOOK, JUST HELP ME, PLEASE.

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BREAK INTO A ROCK STAR'S HOTEL ROOM

LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE?

THIS ISN'T ABOUT CHASING A ROCK STAR.

I WOULDN'T CARE IF HE WAS A CAB DRIVER.

DO YOU KNOW WHY?

WHY?

BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE NEVER FIND THEIR SOUL MATE,

AND WHETHER HE'S FAMOUS OR NOT,

I THINK THAT WE MAY HAVE SOMETHING REALLY SPECIAL.

( grunting )

AH! OW!

DAMN IT!

ALL RIGHT.

THANK YOU.

SHOPPING?

YEAH, I JUST NEEDED TO PICK UP A FEW THINGS.

MMM, FOR YOU?

SENSITIVE SKIN. HEH HEH.

WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?

WHAT? NOTHING. JUST SHOPPIN'.

( gasps )

OH, MY--

LET GO OF ME!

WHAT IS JASON MASTERS DOING HERE?

HE'S, UH, WELL, SHIPWRECKED.

SHIPWRECKED?

WELL, HE THINKS HE'S SHIPWRECKED.

Alexis: WAIT A MINUTE. HE THINKS HE'S STRANDED...

THREE MILES FROM A LUXURY RESORT,

AND SHE DIDN'T TELL HIM?

WOW! IT SOUNDS A LOT WORSE WHEN YOU SAY IT.

LOOK, YOU CAN'T TELL ANYBODY ABOUT THIS, OKAY?

MOI? SPILL THE BEANS?

NOT A CHANCE.

HEY, WE RAN OUT OF ADVIL,

BUT THIS BANANA WILL TAKE THAT ACHE AWAY.

WHO KNEW BANANAS WERE PAINKILLERS?

THE JUNGLE IS FILLED WITH MEDICINAL WONDERS.

YOU ROCK ME, BABY.

YOU ROCK ME AROUND THE WORLD TWICE.

"PURGATORY LOVE" FROM YOUR "RESPECT THE DEAD" CD.

YEAH. IT WAS A BIG HIT FOR ME.

TRIPLE PLATINUM.

OH!

HELP!!

OH, MY GOD!

HELP!

HELP ME!

OH!

( French accent ) THANK GOD I MADE IT.

I MUST HAVE BEEN OUT THERE FOR DAYS.

OH, YOU NEED HELP? ARE YOU OKAY?

WHO ARE YOU?

MY NAME IS ALEXIS MICHELLE.

I WAS HERE FOR THE HAWAIIAN TROPIC SWIMSUIT COMPETITION.

I WAS A WINNER, OF COURSE.

SOME OF THE GIRLS AND I CHARTERED A BOAT TO CELEBRATE,

AND THERE WAS THIS HORRIBLE STORM,

AND I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO SURVIVED.

WE WERE IN THE SAME STORM.

WHAT ISLAND IS THIS?

I HATE TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT WE DON'T KNOW.

THIS ISLAND'S COMPLETELY DESERTED.

OH!

ARE YOU OKAY?

IT'S JUST THE...HUNGER.

LET ME GET YOU SOMETHING. HERE.

OH, ONE MINUTE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

( normal voice ) COME ON.

DO YOU ACTUALLY THINK THAT YOU'RE IN HIS LEAGUE?

NOT A CHANCE.

RIGHT IDEA, WRONG GIRL. I'M TAKING HIM AWAY.

YOU'RE TOO LATE. HE'S ALREADY FALLEN FOR MOI.

LOOK OUT, TAYLOR.

I TEACH THIS STUFF AT THE LEARNING ANNEX.

MADEMOISELLE.

MERCI. YOU ARE A PRINCE.

MORE?

OUI.

OUI?

OUI.

HEY, JENNY.

OF COURSE.

AREN'T YOU SOME SORT OF A...SINGER?

GUESS YOU COULD SAY THAT.

I ADORE MUSIC.

I CAN TELL.

( Alexis giggling )

I'M FLOATING YOU TO THE SPA AND HERE'S YOUR NEXT ASSIGNMENT.

BUT I'VE NEVER GIVEN A PROFESSIONAL MASSAGE BEFORE.

IT'S EASY. JUST RUB-A-DEE-DUB.

MRS. VENABLE IS WAITING.

HEY, GOOD-LOOKIN'. WHAT'S COOKIN'?

PARDON ME FOR ONE SECOND.

HURRY BACK.

EXCUSE ME. THAT LADY IN THERE HAS ELEPHANTITUS.

NO, SHE'S FROM THE MID-WEST.

OH, YOU ARE A SICK, EVIL LITTLE MAN.

Sí. AND YOU'RE A FLOATER.

GO FLOAT!

( whimpers )

ACTUALLY, I'M FROM THE BIG APPLE.

I LIKE IT DEEP.

YES, MA'AM.

WE'LL WORK ALL THOSE KINKS OUT.

( moans )

SO YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND?

WORKIN' ON IT.

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WORK TOO HARD WITH HANDS LIKE THAT.

I GOT...OH, OH, UNDER MY LEFT SHOULDER BLADE, DARLING.

( squishing )

VERY NICE.

OH, OH.

( moans )

( squishing )

UM...

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

MY WATCH.

FEELS LIKE A ROLEX.

DO YOU MIND IF I JUST--

GO, GO AHEAD.

YOU ARE GOOD.

YOU ARE VERY, VERY GOOD.

Alexis: MAY I GIVE YOU A MASSAGE?

Ryan: OKAY.

Alexis: IS THAT GOOD?

DON'T BE AFRAID TO GO A LITTLE DEEPER, TOO.

OH!

( groans )

LISTEN, HERNANDEZ...

I KNOW I WAS OUT OF LINE WHEN WE FIRST MET.

I'M AN ARROGANT, PUSHY BASTARD, AND I'M VERY SORRY.

THAT'S SO SWEET...

AND I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY A HUNDRED TIMES OVER.

NOW PACK UP! YOU'RE MOVING AGAIN.

HA HA! YEAH!

YEAH!

( playing air guitar )

I NEVER GOT OUT OF THE HOTEL WHEN I PLAYED FRANCE.

WHAT IS IT LIKE?

YEAH.

WHAT IS FRANCE LIKE?

OH, IT'S VERY BEAUTIFUL.

I DID A LOT OF MODELING THERE.

TO FRANCE.

TO FRANCE.

YOU KNOW, JENNY,

YOU COULD DO SOME MODELING, TOO.

PARASITES ARE PROBABLY EATING HER GUMS AWAY.

GROSS.

POOR DEAR.

DO YOU KNOW THE HISTORY OF THE FRENCH KISS?

NO, BUT HISTORY FASCINATES ME.

( crying )

OH, THAT'S RANK.

ROSIE, QUIT THAT CRYING.

IT'S NOT ROSIE, IT'S GIL.

HE MISSES HIS CAT.

( fart noise )

( fart noise )

( Alexis clears her throat )

( louder fart noise )

( fart noises )

UM...HEH HEH.

PAPAYA MUST NOT AGREE WITH YOU.

( fart noise )

( noises continue )

( fart )

( fart )

Jenny: THE SONG ISN'T AS EFFECTIVE

AS "INSIDE OUTSIDE."

IT'S LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO GET TO THE MEANING OF LIFE

AND THE UNIVERSE.

MY MUSIC IS COMMONLY MISINTERPRETED AS EXISTENTIAL,

BUT IT'S MORE OF A STEADY REFLECTION

ON THE HUMAN DETERIORATION...

Jenny: EXCUSE ME.

WE'RE HAVING A PERSONAL CONVERSATION.

OH. SORRY. DIDN'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT.

ANYWAY...YOU WERE SAYING.

OH, UM...YEAH, I WAS DISCOVERED AT A MALL

IN FRONT OF A CINNA-BUN,

AND THIS RECORD PROMOTER WAS THERE WITH HIS KID AND...

YOU GOT A...

DID YOU SEE THAT?

I KNOW.

NOT A VERY CLEAN GIRL.

NO?

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE HAS SET UP CAMP IN HER HAIR?

LICE, COCKROACHES, SMALL RODENTS.

THAT GIRL NEEDS A DATE WITH THE ORKIN MAN.

DON'T WORRY, SWEETHEART. WE'LL SHAVE ALL THAT OFF.

IT'LL GROW BACK.

SO...TELL ME.

WHAT INSPIRES YOU WHEN YOU WRITE A SONG?

I'M A GIRL ON THE VERGE OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN

I'M ALL MESSED UP, BABY

BECAUSE OF YOU, I CAN'T SLEEP

I'M IN TOO DEEP

I'M A GIRL ON THE VERGE OF A MAJOR MELTDOWN

I MAY BE ALL FREAKED OUT AND CONFUSED

BUT I STILL WOULDN'T WANNA BE YOU

I'M A GIRL ON THE VERGE OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN

A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN

WAIT. STOP! THIS IS CRAZY.

WE ARE GROWN GIRLS.

WE SHOULDN'T BE AT EACH OTHER'S THROATS OVER A GUY.

SO IN THE SPIRIT OF SISTERHOOD, TRUCE.

I'M A GIRL ON THE VERGE OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN

BUT I'M NOT A DANCER.

LOOK, ONE OF THE DANCERS WAS STUNG BY A JELLYFISH.

YOU WILL REPLACE HIM. JUST FOLLOW ALONG.

WHEN DO I START?

YOU'RE LATE.

WHAT?!

( Latin dance music plays )

HEY, WE NEED TO TALK.

YEAH, THIS IS REALLY AWKWARD.

THE TWO OF YOU FIGHTING LIKE WILDCATS FOR MY ATTENTION.

I'D HATE IT IF IT WASN'T SO COOL.

RIGHT. OKAY. LISTEN.

BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW IT'S YOU, JENNY.

IT'S YOU I WANT.

I MEAN, ALEXIS HAS IT GOIN' ON. DON'T GET ME WRONG.

BUT YOU'RE THE ONE I WANT.

YOU REALLY LIKE ME?

I DO, JENNY.

MUCHO.

BUT I WANNA LET ALEXIS DOWN EASY,

SO HOW AM I GONNA TELL HER?

OH, LET ME.

YOU ARE VICIOUS.

I LOVE IT.

( both laughing )

( growls )

JASON, YOU KNOW WHAT WE COULD USE?

WHAT?

A PRIVATE CONCERT.

THAT'S A GREAT IDEA, ALEXIS.

THANK YOU, JENNY.

YEAH, YOU SHOULD PERFORM TO US OUT THERE,

AND WE'LL WATCH.

RIGHT NOW?

YES, RIGHT NOW.

ALL RIGHT.

WHAT TO SING...

I'M NOT USED TO THIS, BUT, UH...

I THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME

YOUR FACE IS ETCHED INTO MY MIND

I CAN'T BREATHE WITHOUT US

SHARING AIR

IMPOSSIBLE IT SEEMS TO BE

THAT YOU COULD TAME A GUY LIKE ME

FEEL I'M NOT MYSELF

BUT I DON'T CARE

I BEEN WAITING HERE FOR HOURS

JUST YOU ON MY MIND

NEVER LOSING HOPE

UH!

QUICKLY LOSING TIME

ALWAYS WONDERIN' ♪

CAN SHE BE SLIPPIN' THROUGH MY HANDS

I'VE EXAMINED IFS AND ANDS

AND I FIND I'M GOIN' CRAZY

Jason: YOU LIKE THAT, HUH?

HE IS THE BEST.

THERE'S SOME MORE TO IT, TOO, BUT...

WE'LL DO THAT LATER.

YOU'RE A MESS, HOME BOY. LOOK AROUND.

SWEATIN' SOMEONE, HUH?

WELL, TALK TO DJ CHOCOLATE LOVE,

'CAUSE I KNOW WHAT THE LADIES CRAVE.

THERE'S THIS GIRL AND SHE'S, LIKE, MY BEST FRIEND.

I DON'T KNOW.

UH-HUH. I KNOW THIS ONE.

LET THE WOMAN KNOW YOU IN CHARGE, MAN.

SHE'LL LAUGH AT ME.

LET HER MOCK YOU, MAN. YOU DON'T CARE.

LOOK AT ME.

I AIN'T ALL THAT, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I GOT, BABY?

CONFIDENCE.

CONFIDENCE-- IT'S THE ULTIMATE APHRODISIAC.

I THOUGHT POWER WAS THE ULTIMATE APHRODISIAC.

I AIN'T GOT ANY OF THAT, SO IT'S CONFIDENCE.

I DON'T CARE IF I GET SLAPPED UPSIDE THE HEAD

NINE TIMES OUTTA TEN.

NUMBER TEN FINALLY COMES THROUGH,

THEN IT'S WORTH THE PAIN.

OKAY, SO, TELL, YOU THE MAN OR WHAT?

YEAH, CHASE, I'M THE MAN. YEAH.

YOU THE MAN, HUH? REPEAT AFTER ME:

YOU THE MAN.

YOU THE MAN.

NOT YOU. I.

I'M THE MAN.

SAY IT AGAIN.

I'M THE MAN!

GO GET IT, DAWG.

I'M THE MAN.

MAMA-WANNA, PLEASE.

HEY, YOU GOT A BODY LIKE A LITTLE BABY COW, GIRL.

MY BAD.

MY BAD.

THAT STINGS A LITTLE THOUGH. DAMN!

I'M CRUISIN' DOWN MY OWN STREET

AND MY HOOPTIE SAYS TO ME

YOU'D BETTER HANG ON TO YOUR BENCH SEAT

I'M GONNA TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE NOW

DON'T YOU KNOW WHEN IT COMES

( horn honks )

HEY.

HEY, BABY.

WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?

ARE YOU GOING TO A COSTUME PARTY?

DON'T BE HATIN' ON MY NEW CLOTHES.

OH, WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

CARIBBEAN SUNSET.

MY NEW AFTERSHAVE. YOU LIKE IT?

REMINDS ME OF WINDEX.

( laughs )

( giggles ) OH, I GET IT.

GET WHAT?

YOU'RE DOING SOMEBODY.

NO.

YEAH!

MORTY PURVIS, THAT KID FROM EIGHTH GRADE.

THE ONE WHO USED TO WEAR REALLY WEIRD CLOTHES

AND HORRIBLE COLOGNE.

YOU CAPTURED HIM TO A "T."

PRETTY GOOD, HUH?

YEAH, BUT RYAN, COME HERE.

THINGS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ISLAND

ARE OUT OF CONTROL.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

TELL HIM THE TRUTH.

NO, I CAN'T.

HE TOLD ME THAT I'M THE ONE.

DID HE?

YES! GOD!

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE?

KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.

WHAT?! AREN'T YOU PSYCHED FOR ME?

YEAH, JENNY.

I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU.

LOOK, I'VE GOTTA GO.

HEY, WHERE YOU GOING?

I GOTTA GO RETURN THIS NECKLACE TO CHASE.

( car starts )

BYE.

WELL, I'LL COMB MY HAIR LIKE ELVIS

AND GRAB AN OLD GRETSCH '59

AND YOU'D HARDLY RECOGNIZE ME

IF YOU SAW ME FROM BEHIND

AND I LET YOU KNOW... ♪

JENNY, WE'RE GREAT TOGETHER.

WE'VE ALWAYS BEEN GREAT TOGETHER.

I CAN'T GET YOU OUT OF MY MIND.

BUT WE'RE FRIENDS.

I FULLY EXPECT YOU TO BLOW ME OFF.

I CAN'T HOLD A CANDLE TO A POP STAR.

I'M OUTTA HERE.

HOLD ON. TALK TO ME.

RYAN, WAIT.

I'M GOING HOME. HAVE A GOOD SUMMER.

LOOK OVER THERE. WHO'S THAT?

AT 0600 HOURS EASTERN TIME,

THE LIFE RAFT USED BY JASON MASTERS WAS RECOVERED

DEFLATED, BURNED AND BATTERED.

IT IS THE COAST GUARD'S POSITION THAT WITHOUT THIS LIFE RAFT,

THE SURVIVAL OF JASON MASTERS AND JENNY TAYLOR

IS HIGHLY UNLIKELY.

AT 0900 HOURS,

THE ORDER WAS GIVEN TO SUSPEND THE SEARCH.

( reporters clamoring )

MEANWHILE, AROUND THE WORLD,

FANS PRAYED DILIGENTLY

THAT THE POPULAR SINGING SENSATION WILL BE FOUND ALIVE.

WE'LL KEEP YOU UPDATED AS NEW DEVELOPMENTS ARISE

IN THE SEARCH FOR JASON MASTERS.

I WAS MISS CALIFORNIA TWO YEARS RUNNING.

NOBODY CUT THE MUSTARD THE SECOND YEAR,

SO THEY EXTENDED ME.

THERE SHE IS. HELLO, GORGEOUS.

HI.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

JASON, I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

WHAT'S UP?

I HAVE ADORED YOU FROM THE FIRST MOMENT I SAW YOU ON MTV.

I WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU.

BUT IT'S RIDICULOUS BECAUSE I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU.

BUT I THOUGHT THAT IF WE HAD SOME TIME

TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER, YOU'D SEE HOW GREAT I WAS.

THAT'S CRAZY, RIGHT?

YOU DON'T DESERVE WHAT I DID TO YOU.

WHAT'D YOU DO TO ME?

SHE'S GOT JUNGLE FEVER, JASON.

SHE'S LOST HER MIND.

CAN IT, ALEXIS.

OH!

LOOK, I KNOW THAT AFTER I TELL YOU THIS,

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE ME TERMINATED, BUT WHATEVER.

I DON'T CARE. I JUST NEED THIS TO END.

JENNY, STOP IT NOW.

I HAVE TO TELL HIM.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?

WE'RE STILL ON ST. LUCIA.

OH, HEY!

HELP!

HELP!

Jenny: WE'RE NOT MAROONED.

WHAT?

I THOUGHT WE WERE,

BUT WHEN I FOUND OUT WE WEREN'T,

I DIDN'T TELL YOU.

THE RESORT IS THROUGH THAT JUNGLE.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW SORRY YOU'RE GONNA BE.

YEAH!

WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT? YOU'RE PART OF THIS.

MOI?

HELP!

HELP, HELP!

WHEN MY LAWYERS GET THROUGH WITH YOU TWO,

THERE'S GONNA BE NOTHING LEFT BUT A SMOKING CINDER.

JASON!

THANKS, MAN.

WAIT!

Jason: NO, NO, NO.

NO.

SHE'S CRAZY.

I'M JUST AS SCARED AND CONFUSED AS YOU ARE.

YOU DROPPED SOMETHING.

WHAT?

YOUR ACCENT.

GO, GO!

HEY, AREN'T YOU JASON MASTERS?

YEAH, THAT'S ME.

LET'S GO.

Girl: OH, MY GOD!

Jason: AU REVOIR!

YOU RUINED EVERYTHING.

I HAD HIM IN THE PALM OF MY HAND,

AND YOU BLEW IT!

LATCH ON TO LOVE, BABE

WHEN I NEED MY SPACE

I'VE BEEN FEELIN' BLUE

WELL, HOW 'BOUT YOU

( thunder crashing )

MAYBE SOMEDAY SOON

YOU'LL BE FLYIN' TOO

OOH

Man: I'LL PICK YOU UP AT LOGAN. WHAT TIME, SON?

MY FLIGHT GETS IN AT 10:00.

WHAT HAPPENED?

IT'S A LONG STORY. I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I GET HOME.

SEE ME FALL

SEE ME RISE

GRAB ONE LAST LOOK AND WAVE GOOD-BYE

YOU TRY AND TRY TO HOLD ON

Man: IT'S ALL CLEAR. YOU CAN GET OUT NOW.

News reporter: BREAKING NEWS FROM STORM WATCH CENTRAL.

HURRICANE SANDY HAS SUDDENLY SHIFTED COURSE

AND IS HEADED FOR THE RESORT ISLAND OF ST. LUCIA.

IT HAS LEFT A TRAIL OF DESTRUCTION AND DEVASTATION

ACROSS THE CARIBBEAN.

FORCED EVACUATION HAS BEEN ORDERED

BY THE LOCAL AUTHORITIES.

Hernandez: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?

EVERYONE, ATTENTION.

WE'RE GONNA GET POUNDED; 100-MILE-AN-HOUR WINDS.

THEY CLOSED THE AIRPORT.

WE HAVE TO DOUBLE UP THE PEOPLE IN THE ROOMS.

HEY, RYAN, WHAT'S UP? YOU KNOW THE HURRICANE COMIN'.

WHERE'S IT MAKING LANDFALL?

ON THE NORTH SIDE OF THE ISLAND.

WHAT'S WRONG?

RYAN! RYAN, WHERE YOU GOIN'?

YOU KNOW IT'S A HURRICANE OUT THERE.

YOU MIGHT GET CAUGHT UP IN IT, RYAN.

THAT'S ONE CRAZY WHITE BOY.

( shrieks )

YOU LITTLE WIENER! I'LL GET YOU!

I GOT YOUR LICENSE PLATE NUMBER, BUDDY, YEAH.

I GOT IT. UGH!

JENNY!

WHERE ARE YOU?

JENNY! JENNY!!

RYAN?

( screams ) OH, MY GOD!

( honks horn )

( continues honking )

RYAN!

JENNY!

JENNY, I'M COMING.

RYAN!

JENNY.

IT'S STUCK.

HOLD ON TO ME. I GOT YOU.

COME ON.

WHERE ARE WE?

COME ON.

ARE YOU OKAY?

YEAH. I'LL BE FINE.

WE'RE SAFE NOW.

I'M GONNA MAKE A FIRE.

I CAN SEE, SEE YOU THERE

YOU SAVED MY LIFE.

I DID, DIDN'T I?

WIND AND SUNLIGHT IN YOUR HAIR

I CAN SEE YOU

I CAN SEE YOU THERE

YOUR OLIVE SKIN

YOUR SECRET SMILE

BETRAYED AGAIN

A SECRET ISLAND IN YOUR MIND

LOST FOREVER

LOST FOR ALL TIME

WHO IS TO SAY

( grunts )

WHO IS TO KNOW

COME ON, THERE'S GOTTA BE SOMETHING

AT TOWER RECORDS FOR ME.

I COULD BE A CASHIER. YEAH?

MILO?

IS IT YOU?

YEAH.

YOU'RE ALIVE.

YOU'RE ALIVE!

HEY, THAT'S COOL.

THAT'S COOL.

ENOUGH.

SORRY.

WHAT HAPPENED?

YOU GOT THE WHOLE WORLD GOIN' APE OVER THIS.

IT'S BEEN A BLOODY FREAK SHOW. WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?

I WAS BLOWIN' CHUNKS OVER THE SIDE AND FELL IN,

AND THIS CHICK SAVES ME,

AND WE THINK WE'RE MAROONED ON AN ISLAND,

ONLY WE'RE STILL IN ST. LUCIA.

YOU WERE ON ST. LUCIA THE WHOLE TIME?

YEAH AND SHE DOESN'T TELL ME, OKAY? I'M AN IDIOT.

WHO ELSE KNOWS?

THAT I'M AN IDIOT?

WHO ELSE KNOWS ABOUT YOUR SHIPWRECK?

ONLY THE PEOPLE THAT PICKED ME UP.

THEY CAN BE PAID OFF.

DON'T WORRY.

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO DO.

ARE YOU OKAY?

YEAH. I JUST NEED TO SHOWER AND CRASH.

IF IT'S NOT COMPLETELY SOLD OUT, HE'S NOT GONNA DO IT.

MILO, THAT'S HER.

YOU SURE?

RIGHT THERE. THE BLONDE.

JENNY, SWEETHEART.

JASON WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A WORD WITH YOU.

EXCUSE ME. WHO ARE YOU?

OH, HERE, LOVE. HAVE SOME FREE TICKETS.

RIGHT THIS WAY.

WAIT. RYAN?

PLEASE, JASON'S RIGHT THROUGH THIS DOOR.

REALLY, REALLY WANTS TO SEE YOU.

HEY, HOLD ON!

ISN'T SHE A BABE?

OKAY, I'M REALLY CONFUSED.

LOOK, JENNY,

DESPITE YOUR LIES, DEPRAVITY AND DECEPTION,

I STILL MEANT WHAT I SAID ON THE BEACH.

ABOUT DESTROYING ME?

( nervous chuckle )

NO, NO. ABOUT LIKING YOU.

HE CAN'T STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU.

OH, MY GOD, JASON.

YOU WERE RIGHT. SHE IS ADORABLE.

THANKS. OKAY, I' M JUST GONNA GET RYAN...

JENNY, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A LITTLE PRESS CONFERENCE

TO FILL IN JASON'S ADORING FANS ABOUT THE LAST FEW DAYS,

AND WE NEED YOU TO SAY A FEW LITTLE WORDS, TOO, LOVE.

A PRESS CONFERENCE?

YEAH.

TAKE A FEW PICTURES.

GET ME NATASHA.

TELL HER WE HAVE A HAIR EMERGENCY.

OKAY, WELL, RYAN'S JUST OUTSIDE.

HE'LL KEEP.

I'M FROM US WEEKLY.

IS THERE ANY CHANCE I CAN GET AN EXCLUSIVE WITH JASON?

WHOA, WHOA!

WHAT'S GOING ON?

RYAN.

GIL, GET HIM OUT.

NO, WAIT.

LET HIM STAY.

LOOK, TO YOU, JENNY MAY JUST BE

SOME CRAZY FAN FROM MASSACHUSETTS.

I MEAN, I KNOW SHE CAN BE A LITTLE IMPULSIVE

AND GET CARRIED AWAY SOMETIMES.

BUT SHE'S THE MOST AMAZING GIRL YOU WILL EVER MEET.

AND YOU ARE LUCKY TO HAVE HER CARE SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.

JENNY...I LOVE YOU.

IS THIS YOUR BOYFRIEND?

LOSE THE GEEK.

LET'S GO.

NO!

RYAN!

HE'LL BE FINE, LOVE. THEY WON'T HURT HIM.

STOP IT!

JENNY! JENNY!

I REALLY NEED YOU TO HELP ME OUT ON THIS, JENNY.

OKAY, BUT--

THIS'LL ALL GO AWAY IF WE JUST...PLAY IT RIGHT.

WELCOME TO THE SUN VILLAGE BEACH RESORT AT--

JASON MASTERS IS BACK!

( cheering )

PRESIDENTIAL VILLA...NOW.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, JASON MASTERS!

WHOO!

( reporters clamoring )

YOU.

JAY BIGSBY, ROLLING STONE.

CAN YOU TELL US WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

THAT'S THE MILLION-DOLLAR QUESTION, ISN'T IT?

Reporter: DON'T LEAVE US IN THE DARK, JASON.

I WAS ON A CRUISE SHIP WITH SOME FRIENDS.

AND A YOUNG LADY FELL OVERBOARD AND NATURALLY,

I DOVE IN TO SAVE HER.

( reporters exclaiming )

MANAGED TO STEER THE TINY RAFT TO A DESERTED ISLAND...

WHERE I HAD TO CATCH FISH WITH MY BARE HANDS.

AND WHERE DID YOU LEARN ALL THAT?

BOY SCOUTS.

I BUILT A SHIP OUT OF PALM TREES,

SAILED BACK TO ST. LUCIA,

NAVIGATING BY THE STARS, OF COURSE.

IT WAS WITH THE SUPPORT OF ONE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN

THAT GAVE ME THE WILL TO CARRY ON.

Alexis: JASON MASTERS!

SO...TELL US HOW YOU MADE IT.

REGALE US WITH YOUR NAVY SEAL-LIKE SURVIVAL SKILLS.

Woman: WHO ARE YOU? WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

JASON, WHO IS THIS WOMAN?

( stammering )

Woman: WHAT ABOUT JENNY TAYLOR?

WHO IS THE WOMAN? ONE MORE QUESTION HERE.

AND THAT ONE WOMAN IS ALEXIS MANETTI!

WHO'S THAT?!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

SAVING BOTH OF US.

AND I KNOW THEY WOULDN'T WANT ME TO SPILL THE BEANS,

BUT WHAT THE HECK? I'M GONNA DO IT ANYWAY!

MAY I PRESENT TO ALL OF YOU THE FUTURE

MRS. JASON MASTERS, ALEXIS MANETTI!

JENNY, ALL THE REPORTS HAVE YOU ON THE ISLAND WITH JASON.

WELL, THAT WAS JUST A PUBLICITY COVER-UP FOR THE REAL AFFAIR.

( giggles )

I DON'T KNOW.

I GUESS THEY WANTED A REALLY PRETTY GIRL.

Man: TELL US, JENNY.

SO YOU'RE NOT WITH JASON?

NO.

MY BOYFRIEND IS RYAN HOWELL,

AND HE'S STANDING RIGHT BACK THERE.

NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

Alexis: ... AND I'LL LOVE HIM FOREVER.

TRY TO FIND A MEANING

KNOWING THAT I JUST LEFT IT ALL BEHIND

HI.

HI.

SO, UM...

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' TONIGHT?

HUH?

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' TONIGHT?

I WAS JUST THINKING WE COULD HANG OUT.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO IF YOU DON'T WANT TO.

YOU KNOW, WE COULD DO SOMETHING.

BUT IF YOU CAN'T--

JENNY, PLEASE. ASSERT YOURSELF.

I LOVE YOU.

HOW WAS THAT?

IT'S A START.

Jenny: SO WHY NOW? WHY NOT TWO YEARS AGO?

WELL, I FINALLY TOOK THE ADVICE FROM A GOOD FRIEND.

I DON'T WANNA BE 90 AND DEAD, THINKING I SHOULD'VE TRIED.

REALLY? SOUNDS KINDA LAME. I MEAN...

CAN YOU THINK WHEN YOU'RE DEAD?

I'D LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS SONG TO MY NEW WIFE ALEXIS...

( clears throat) ...MASTERS.

I THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME

YOUR FACE IS ETCHED INTO MY MIND

I CAN'T BREATHE WITHOUT US SHARING AIR

IMPOSSIBLE IT SEEMS TO BE

THAT YOU COULD TAME A GUY LIKE ME

FEEL I'M NOT MYSELF, BUT I DON'T CARE

NO, I DON'T CARE

I'VE BEEN WAITING HERE FOR HOURS

JUST YOU ON MY MIND

NEVER LOSING HOPE

QUICKLY LOSING TIME

ALWAYS WONDERIN' ♪

CAN SHE BE SLIPPIN' THROUGH MY HANDS? ♪

I'VE EXAMINED IFS AND ANDS

AND I FIND I'M GOIN' CRAZY, CRAZY

YEAH

OH

I'M GOIN' CRA-A-AZY

CRA-A-AZY

I CAN'T, I CAN'T GET YOU OFF MY MIND

YEAH!

WE LOVE YOU!

THANK YOU.

OH, THAT'S MY GIRL.

GOOD NIGHT, WINNIPEG.

♪ ♪

The Description of Lovewrecked