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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: If Guys Told the Truth: Office Friends

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[opening theme song playing]

I hate how Shelby always runs her mouth about the management

Fuck! Her mouth's small as shit

Her head probably fucking terrible.

[soft music playing]

-[sighs] Shelly... she's so annoying. -Yeah.

You know, this is a really nice place. Do you come here often?

I literally banged every waitress in here.

First off, my second home.

I can't wait to bend her over that fucking toilet seat.

I been here a few times...

their bathrooms could be a little cleaner though.

[chuckles]

Are you , are you... You all right? Are you okay?

[coughs]

-You all right? -I'm great.

-I'm good, thanks. -Sure?

Yeah.

You are such a gentleman, Eric.

Gentleman?

If I had you home, your eyes would be popping out of your face.

My dick is a lot bigger than that baby ass carrot.

Wow! Nobody has ever said anything like that to me before.

I'm deeply touched.

I'm so comfortable with you.

Shit!! I left my keys at the office.

The building is closed for tonight.

Umm...

Take the bait, take the bait, take the bait, take the bait, take the bait, take the bait.

Well... you can crash at my place.

We can get you some clothes on the way in.

-Is that okay? -You sure?

I mean... I don't want you to feel uncomfortable.

Yes! Yes! Whoo! Yay! Boy!

It's fine silly.

It will be good. I promise.

That pussy's mine!

[up beat music playing]

[hip-hop beats playing]

[classical music playing]

Yo! Did you see that picture Ki just put on the gram?

Bro, I'm looking at it right now. She hot, bro.

-Nigga! -Facts.

[sighs]

Yo, on some random shit. You ever had sex in the park, yo?

I did, but it was really on some young bull shit.

-Really on some young bull shit. -Yeah, nah yeah. Me too. Yeah.

Speaking of some young bull shit, right?

You ever got chase out a chick crib or what ever and had to jump out the window?

Crazy you said that because I did!

-Never again, bro. -Ankle, all the way.

One time when I did, the girl's dad almost grab me and I just made it out.

-What? -Right as I was about to jump out, he tried to snatch me.

-Tha'ts crazy. -You guys... you guys want something to drink?

Yeah, yeah, let me get one. Let me get one.

Le't do it, bro.

-This nigga is fucking lying. -He has to be lying.

-Yo, I'm going to make some shit up, -Right.

and see what he say. We gone see what he say

-Alright, bro. -You bet.

Yo, remember that one night I ate that random girls ass bro?

I was fucking caked.

I did the same thing. I was loving every minute of it.

-I had hella shit chips on my mouth like... -Yes, dude!

But get it, last time though, last time I did it,

I was all in this girl for like ten minutes, right?

But here the thing, she had a stomach virus, right?

So, she number three all in my face, bro. It was crazy

-That was... it was... -C'mon. C'mon.

Man, get that shit out of here, cuzz!

-C'mon, bro. You nasty as hell. -C'mon, get the fuck outta here!

Yo, you was drinking off my drink earlier, cuzz.

-You guys were just talking about it. -Get outta here.

-I don't fuck with him. -And that fucking shirt, corny as shit.

Dog, I shared my fucking cool-aid with you earlier, dude.

You was all up in my cup. You're not my friend anymore.

-Not allowed to joke around? -Hey, yo. Get the fuck out, cuzz.

[classical music playing]

Babe!

You know what time it is?

Oh, really?

[laughs]

[shushing and fats]

-Fart touch. -Oh!

[hip-hop beats playing]

[grooving music playing]

Girl, what are you doing? You still not ready yet?

Yeah, I'm getting ready but you wearing that?

-This... is Michael Kors! -Oh...

I paid 30 dollars for this.

-And it looks good. -It does look good

Your lips look popping too.

Yes, they are popping. Muah!

But your ass needs to get a little bit fuller there.

What is wrong with my butt?

You know what I do need to get in the gym you making me feel all self-conscious

about my kangaroo pouch.

But it's all good. All this thickness.

It's all good.

You know, the key to uh...

wet great lips, you gotta wet the tip...

go around the counter clockwise in a circle.

-It would make them look so good -Girl, you're totally right.

What you talking about?

You should let me do your makeup.

You should let me finish it.

-For lips like that? -You should get. For lips like this

-Well. -You ready?

Come here. Hold your head still.

You can never have too much shit on your lips.

I mean, stick on your lips.

Look like this. How it taste?

It tastes a little different.

Looking good? [giggles]

Hold on, let me do a little bit more.

You don't think that too much?

Nope, I'm making it full.

Hmm... lipstick.

Now get your clothes on and lets go!

The fuck.

[hip-hop beats playing]

Niggas, don't never have no food in this house.

Niggas ain't never got no bitches in this house.

Niggas don't never have no bitches.

What you doing?

Man, I'm about to cook something.

What? Uh... wheat pida?

I had to cook something up from scratch.

Two tits and a ass to crack.

Now, add some nutmeg and couple devil eggs...

and a cup of man butter on her back.

-Bro! -Bro!

-Bro! -Bro!

-We got it. -We got it.

[both] We got it.

[hip-hop music playing]

Dooley Pap

Cooking all across the world...

all the earth delicacies.

Baking powder, man! Jerk chicken!

From mars.

Call me Mr. International Expand the globe

I bath in Africa Tan in Rome

Go all the way to Spain just to change my clothes

Eat a Japanese dish with my Tokyo rose

She likey , she likey Kawasaki bikey

She say that's the way Americans ride

Told her she can test drive me Try me all up in her psyche

You can tell by the glare in her eyes

She say, she gotta twin I say, I got a friend

And if he can't dig it then I can play him

We can play house I make ya say ouch

Her and friend bless me with show like Amen

No assuring but I'm praying for priest

Call me wonder boy Gave you my tenacious D

Laters, ya sauce can mix with mine

And will make a good goulash baby! ♪

Let's cook something up from scratch

Two tits and a ass to crack

Now add some nutmeg and a couple devil eggs

And cup of man butter on ya back. Now mix it up

Mix it up Stir it real good mama

Mix it up Chef it real good mama

Mix it up Serve it real good mama

Mix it up Bet it feel good, real good

Pap Fuego lay low

Two ducks I chop the macaroni Up they top me when I say so

My hood block got spaghetti straps

I got the prego

Chicks is my craft Not the mayo

Lots of pesos Lop in bank rolls

I play Charles and Charles like Scott Baio

She say my cooking is dynamite

And y'all killas like Pedro

Tenderizing ten of the chicks they simmering

I'm emerald, we're minerals

I'm all in there lips They all in the mix

Preheat 'em, sauce'em up

Serve 'em up Then I call it a dish

Rachael Ray got 'em all in the kitchen

Chicken get puck, get stuck in dip in my big pan

I tell 'em don't be foolish lady

We about to make a good goulash, baby! ♪

Let's cook something up from scratch

Two tits and a ass to crack

Now add some nutmeg and a couple devil eggs

And a cup of man butter on your back

Now mix it up

Mix it up Stir it real good mama

Mix it up Chef it real good mama

Mix it up Serve it real good mama

Mix it up Bet it feel good, feel good

Get down move yo ass in the kitchen

Sixty minutes for this meal to get finish

Let me give you satisfaction in an instinct

Come on down, let's dirty up some dishes, mama

Get down Let's dirty up some dishes, mama

Get down Let's dirty up some dishes, mama

Come on down, let's dirty up some dishes, mama

Let me give you satisfaction in an instinct

Play baker man When it's time too

Sit right in her middle like fondue

On the cutting board she say I slice it the best

I never deliver a bar I'm a iron chef

These are the haters trying But I ain't impressed

Ain't nothing to crack her When my mind is fresh

What you want to display Make big move a lot, lately

Me and you could make a good goulash baby! ♪

Let's cook something up from scratch

Two tits and a ass to crack

Now add some nutmeg And a couple devil eggs

And a cup of man butter on her back

Now mix it up

Mix it up Stir it real good mama

Mix it up Chef it real good mama

Mix it up Serve it real good mama

Mix it up Bet it feel good, feel good

Real good

Nah...

[sighs]

[hip-hop music playing]

The Description of If Guys Told the Truth: Office Friends