My two children can play quite nicely, or at other times, it's World War Three. If they
both want the same car, or both want the same thing they're playing with, then it can end
Sometimes, when I'm naughty, I'll sometimes
nick my brother's teddies and throw them down the stairs.
Well, I think my son misbehaves, I think it's just an attention thing to be perfectly honest.
Misbehaviour in children is normal. They're having fun, they're learning about their world,
they're experiencing life. We label it as misbehaving because we've decided that this
is how we are supposed to behave in society.
A very important one for parents to remember
is just the age and stage of development of their child. You have to ask yourself, is
it reasonable what I'm asking them to do? Are they actually capable of that behaviour
at this age?
Sometimes children, who are feeling bad or
sad, show you by their behaviour how they're feeling. They don't necessarily have the language
to put it into words and say, you know, I felt really sad when my friend pushed me.
So they just misbehave and expect you to guess.
I don't back down. When I say 'no' that means
'no'. And I think that's really important and even if they pester you that you keep
to your decision and then that starts a good relationship with your children. You can talk
things through with your child, then.
Talking to them first. If they don't listen,
send them upstairs. Give them ten minutes and shout them down again and see if they listen.
I use tactics, such as time out, things like
that, or positive praise: you know, you've been so good for not fighting today.
Are you rewarding the child when your child is being good? You have to catch your child
Parents fall into the trap sometimes of just
not noticing when children behave well. If they're sitting quietly reading or cooperating
nicely with their brother, you just don't think to say anything. You go off and make
a cup of tea or something. But then, the minute children misbehave, of course, you come in,
give them loads of attention, but the message to children is: oh, I get loads of attention
if I misbehave.
If you want your children to respect you,
it's important that you give them respect. The days have gone when we just expected children
to do what they're told, or be seen and not heard. You know, we don't have that kind of
society anymore. We don't have that kind of parenting anymore. And you need to listen
carefully to your child, show them that you care about what they think, and then they'll
act like that back to you, but it's giving respect to get respect.