All long as I can remember I've been super insecure
about my teeth.
When I was a kid I had these vampire fangs.
And sometimes kids would make fun of me.
I never thought
about getting cosmetic dental work done
until I actually broke teeth.
I was 1995 and I threw myself off a balcony
at a keg party.
Landed on my face on the concrete below.
Fractured my cheek bone,
broke 7 teeth, had ten stitches
in my chin and a broken wrist.
My mom was so kind she offered to pay
for me to get them fixed
and she made me a dentist appointment.
But I missed the appointment
because I got arrested for drunk driving
and I was in jail.
(jail cell closing)
So, I called Mom from jail
and she pretty much said
"Fuck your teeth, your going to rehab!"
I had to live with that busted ass grill
for two years.
All right dude, let's go now, hurry, hurry, hurry.
In 1997 my mom took pitty on me
and gave me money to go to the dentist where I lived
in Albuquerque, with my sister.
I got crowns on I think 3 or 4 front teeth.
Those first crowns were a godsend
because I got 'em just in time to go to
Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Clown College,
without broken teeth.
But they were so yellow because they had
to match the rest of my mouth
and I was never known for good oral hygiene.
And my clown makeup was so white.
It was just super noticeable
and little kids would be like,
"What's wrong with that clowns teeth?"
And that just never felt good.
I tried to not show my teeth as much
as possible when I was a clown.
(clown horn tooting)
But, then came Jackass
and now I'm on national television
with these ugly teeth,
that I was so self conscious about.
And I had them for the movie as well.
But then I decided, in 2004, you know what, fuck it.
I can afford it
and I'm gonna get my teeth totally fixed.
So I got 'em all redone.
And man, the sight of those numbs all
in one go, whooff.
That was my first real set of fake teeth.
Which I had for the second Jackass movie.
(upbeat piano music)
And even though they looked a lot better my mouth
still smelled awful
because I never flossed.
Which is my biggest regret in life.
I had this bacteria in my mouth, which meant
that no matter how much I brushed,
it still smelled.
And one time I got in the van with the Jackass guys
and Wee Man said
"Dude Steve-O, your breath."
And then Knoxville goes
"Saying Steve-O has bad breath is
like saying Wee Man's short, it's all the time."
- It smelled like someone left a sardine can
out in the sun too long.
And because I never flossed,
in 2009 my Interdental papilla's blew out.
You know the triangle shaped part of your gum.
They fuckin disappeared.
So now I had these big holes where my
Interdental papilla's used to be.
And of course, I went racing to go get another set
of fake teeth.
Which are the teeth that I had in Jackass 3D.
So if we're keeping score I had a totally different set
of teeth for each of the 3 different Jackass movies.
And if we make a fourth
Jackass movie I'll have a different set
for that one to
because after more gum problems
I got these obnoxious fuckin things in 2014.
These ones, when I saw the first photo I thought, oh no.
I started pounding coffee
because they're so obnoxiously white.
For all the crowns I've had they've always been mounted
on my real teeth, which are the numbs.
But a few years ago, the nubs started coming out.
I've had two teeth pulled so far
because I've got bone loss.
And they tried
to give me bone grafts where they hammer my face
and that's why it got all blown
out multiple times.
I'm sure I'm gonna end up with full dentures
and who cares.
All this insecurity has done nothing
but cause me pain and suffering my whole life.
And how can a guy who's so comfortable with a beer bong
up his ass be so worried
about what people think about his teeth.
It makes no fuckin sense.
if you guys have any insecurities, man let 'em go dude,
that's my advice.
And you know what other advice I have.
Try to find something on this channel that sucks.
Because you won't and hit that like button
and get your notifications and subscribe
and all that fuckin shit YouTuber's say.
Isn't that right Wendy.
Such a good girl.
Such a good girl.
Let's go good girl.