Practice English Speaking&Listening with: For a Relaxing Time, Make It... Non-Alcoholic Alcohol? | DESUS & MERO | SHOWTIME

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Recently, New York has been covered

in ads for an unusual product.

NARRATOR: Looking for the real deal in alcohol-free liquor

flavored drinks?

What?

Excuse me, what?

Isn't that just soda?

NARRATOR: ArKay beverages serves up non-alcoholic whiskey,

vodka, rum, brandy, and more.

Be the life of the party with great tasting, non--

No, you will not be in the life of the party

if you roll up with this.

Actually, you will, because you walk in with this,

and they'll be like, yo, turn that flame up.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah.

So who fuck with Jesus?

Jesus Christ!

Jesus Christ!

Do some bottle tricks and shit.

Jesus Christ!

Every drink is a Shirley Temple.

Yo, bro, Jessica's here.

I'm going to go be her platonic friend.

Yeah!

NARRATOR: Zero alcohol, zero sugar, zero hangover, and--

Zero fun.

At all.

NARRATOR: But it's notorious--

Dog-- you're a piece of shit if you drink gin.

If you drink alcohol-free gin?

That just means, like, the court is watching you.

Yo. Facts.

- That's-- no other reason. - Facts.

You're like, fuck it, I'm gonna get these kids back,

one way or another.

Shit.

Yo.

NARRATOR: ArKay is a player on the international beverage

scene, and with it comes competition.

There are haters out there for--

You mean people that drink this shit?

And they're like, I hate this shit?

NARRATOR: Party it up with the best

in alternative adult beverages.

Alternative adult beverages?

Is that a genre?

Like, what the fuck?

Top off my drink.

I'm going to blow in my breathalyzer to start my car.

If you have a breathalyzer attached

to your ignition, dog--

Yeah, it's not about drinking that doesn't have alcohol.

It's about, like, rehab.

You know what I'm saying?

Like-- we want you to do better.

So cheers.

Yo, let a cop pull you over to see a glass with ice

in your center console.

I'll tell you right now, NYPD is beating the shit out of you.

They're like, yo, you're not even drunk?

Asshole!

Whoa, whoa, whao.

Are you bumping that new flame?

Oh. Oh.

In that case, oh, let him go. Let him go.

Let him go.

He's a good Christian man.

Is that a kazoo, nigga?

What the fuck was that?

I would say you need to stop drinking when you

have a personal breathalyzer.

Yo!

I'm gonna see if my car starts.

[BEEPING]

[ENGINE STARTING]

It's like, [BEEPING SOUND] You're.

A. Herb.

Yo.

And there you have it.

Here's like, ah, ah, ah-- my ankle bracelet didn't go off.

Wow.

Of course you have some.

Let's go.

- Let me try the rum. - Yeah.

Give me the run.

Because we have some real rum here.

You know what I'm saying?

Real rum.

So come here.

I'm searching for some real rum.

Nah.

Even--

Something to get me fucked up.

Real rum.

Oh!

Hey.

Hey, pour, up, pour up--

OK.

My guy.

You have to--

The fuck is it, an Impossible Burger?

Like, you gotta activate the shit?

Oh, no, yo, seriously.

Yeah, no, shake before drinking.

Some of the ingredients have different densities.

Yo, this-- I'm not even gonna read the rest

of this fucking label, dog.

I don't think rum is supposed to bubble

like Arizona iced tea.

All right.

All right, fuck it.

ArKay.

And then they got the wild safety

thing so you can't overpour.

Yo, wow, look at--

Where's John Taffer]?

Shut it down!

Shut it down.

This shit got a weak prostate.

Look at this shit, bro.

Oh, there we go. - There you go.

There you go. All right.

All right. Easy.

Don't kill me.

I don't want to alcohol poison you.

What would the flame think?

Salud.

Salud to fucking boredom.

Oh-- Oh, my god.

You know what it tastes like?

When you-- you know how you have coffee--

Oh, god.

Ugh.

Oh, god.

Yo.

No.

Yo, this shit tastes like--

What's that-- what's that cinnamon gum?

Big Red.

It tastes like Big Red. - Ugh.

Yeah, please.

No, it doesn't.

No one ever likes Big Red.

That's just the gum you give out to people who ask you for gum.

In school, yeah.

Oh, this is made in Fort Lauderdale, dog.

Yo, get this shit out of here, bro.

It does not taste like rum at all.

Yo.

It's very watery, too.

It's like--

What is this, Prohibition?

I gotta make this shit in my tub?

Like-- [SINGING]

- I don't like to drink drinks I have to activate.

You know what I'm saying?

Yo, look at-- naw, bro.

Come on, man.

Look at that frothy head on that bottle of rum.

Don't make this into a GIF, y'all.

[LAUGHTER]

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