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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Million Dollars, But... Raptor Legs | Rooster Teeth

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BURNIE: Hello everybody, and welcome to a very special

episode of "Million Dollars, But..."

Live! Hey everybody, how's it going?

[Cheers and applause]

BURNIE: Well joining me are Mr. Gavin Free

Mr. Blaine Gibson

Alright, well Gavin

For the first live show, why don't you start us off?

GAVIN: I would love to

Million dollars, but...

BURNIE: Lotta money

GAVIN: Once a week, you wake up and your penis is off

and, you have to find it in a pitch black room full of sausages

[Burnie laughing]

GAVIN: Basically, it'll end, when you think you've got your penis in your hand

and you'll be like: "This is it."

If it's not it...

You've got a sausage for a dick, for a- for a day. BURNIE: No!


BURNIE: Here's what I'm worried about...

I'm gonna think that in my head, it's way bigger than what it actually is

GAVIN: [Laughs] Yeah!

BURNIE: And I'm gonna come up like this:

And I'm afraid that I would have like, an eighteen inch long

kielbasa for a dick

GAVIN: I think they would run it back for you

Be like, they would show you the playback

of you... throwing your penis over your head and they'd frame by frame

like: "See there's the helmet."

BLAINE: Fucking sports center?

BURNIE: And it's like, Tyler Coe commentating

TYLER: "Oh he's approaching the penis..."

Oh! No, he went left

He's after a cocktail weiner

He seems happy

BURNIE: You could train your dog to... sniff out penis

It gently picks it up and brings it to you

GAVIN: and you've got a slobbery dick

BLAINE: That's great! Cause then he's like one of those service dogs

you could wear one of those vests and it's like

"Seeing penis" dog

GAVIN: Would you do it?

BURNIE: Yeah, I'll take the money

GAVIN: Are you kidding me?!

BURNIE: I would totally do it

GAVIN: Not doin' it, not a chance

BLAINE: I'll do it, I'll do it

BLAINE: You get a million dollars, but..

Your limbs can regenerate...

but... they fall off super easy

BURNIE: Oh my god

BLAINE: So say you go up,

"Hey! High-five man!"


Arm falls off

Say you're going for that field goal

You kick the ball extra hard,


Leg falls off

GAVIN: Can I wear like a suit of armor? Like a knight?

BLAINE: No I mean that's fine

You can walk around in a suit of armor, I think that's gonna help

GAVIN: So, how long until they're back?

BLAINE: Say like, a good hour

BLAINE: And then thirty minutes later you just have these tiny little baby limbs

With little itty bitty hands and fingers

Imagine too, you're running late for a meeting

And you just happen to bonk your head on a cabinet or something

So then you like step into the meeting

and you're just like tiny Burnie

[High pitched] "Sorry I'm late guys."

BLAINE: Would you take the money?

BURNIE: Not takin' the money

GAVIN: Yeah I'm takin' it, I'm totally taking it

BLAINE: Uh... I'm not takin' this one

BURNIE: Million Dollars, But...

for the rest of your life your adult teeth are like

that last day before you lose a baby tooth

They're all that loose in your head all the time


BURNIE: They regrow back in a couple of weeks,

But then they're immediately loose and hangin' there in your mouth again

BLAINE: Augh, so then you get into a bar fight...

and then it's just like, you're just spitting out every single tooth


GAVIN: You sneeze and kill someone!

It'd be like, it'd be like a shocker!

BLAINE: This is fine! You just get like a bad-ass grill

Start a rapper career

You're good to go!

I'm also imaging you know you're in the kitchen,

And it's like you have strings going to every cavity

GAVIN: You're like every cupboard is going

BLAINE: You slam them all...

I think I'm gonna do it.

BURNIE: How 'bout you? Million bucks.

GAVIN: I'm not doin' it.

BURNIE: I'm not doing it, you're insane dude

I don't know why you would take that

BURNIE: So! Since this is our first ever MDB live, we thought

it would be great if we could take some scenarios from the audience here at RTX Sydney

And it looks like, we have our first scenario here

MONICA: So the scenario is, Million Dollars, But...

Every day at a random moment,

You have the uncontrollable compulsion to burst into a Shakespeare style monologue

About whatever's happening

BLAINE: I'm just imagining, you're in your grocery store

And then suddenly, boom! You're in this like, weird Shakespearean outfit

And you're like: "To bag, or not to bag?"

"That is the question!"

GAVIN: Can I just armor up?

BURNIE: What is it with you and armor? You're in armor all the time!

MONICA: What is it with you and armor?!

GAVIN: Look, we've already bought the suit of armor for the other one

Let's use it again, let's get our money's worth

MONICA: Imagine you having a really emotional like, challenging conversation with

your partner, and monologuing about it like:

"Little does she know that I've slept with another person!" BURNIE: Ah, that's awesome

And it all fuckin' comes out

BLAINE: She's in the background like: "What the fuck did you just say?"

MONICA: [Laughing] Yeah, exactly!

BLAINE: "I'm sitting right here!"

I'm takin' it.

BURNIE: Yeah, I'm doin' it

BLAINE: Gavin?

GAVIN: Naw, I'm good. BURNIE: Nah

KATE: Million Dollars, But...

One day every week, your knees will bend the opposite direction

GAVIN: [Groaning] Augh!

BLAINE: That's cool as hell

You'd look like a fuckin' velociraptor

Can you imagine like the moment that the transition happens

Like you look at someone at the grocery store and then your legs bend backwards

and then you go "Bwelelelop!"

The guy's runnin' for his life!

BURNIE: Like the guy runs into another aisle

And he's goin' down the aisle and Blaine's head appears between box and he's just like

[Gasp] "Clever girl."

BLAINE: Gavin, I don't think that you can do this scenario because

think of your suit of armor

GAVIN: [Laughs] I'd just be like this!

"Ow!" [Burnie and Blaine laughing]

BLAINE: Easy money, I'm absolutely doing this one

BURNIE: Uh, yeah I think I might do it

GAVIN: I would do it, I would just play video games that day

I'd flip my legs over my shoulders and just play some Halo

TIARNA: You get a Million Dollars, But...

everytime you sneeze something in the room around you would fall over

BURNIE: Would fall over?

TIARNA: It can be breakable or non-breakable

However, if you're outside it could be a building, or a person


GAVIN: That could, that's quite a gamble!

BURNIE: They're an old lady with a walker and like you can sneeze

and she goes down like a ton of bricks, y'know?

GAVIN: What, what if you fully stifle the sneeze?

Like a... [stifled sneeze]

Would it just be like...

GAVIN: Whoo!

BURNIE: It has that wobble

I'm outside... and I get tree pollen in my nose and I'm like

"Oh I gotta sneeze."

The tree falls over and all the pollen goes "poof!"

And I'm like: "Oh shit."

"Achoo! Achoo!"

Then half the city block falls down after that

BLAINE: Takin' it?

BURNIE: That's an incredible power, I would take it

GAVIN: I'd probably take it

BLAINE: I'm not takin' it

BURNIE: Alright, well!

Thank you for joining us on this episode of "Million Dollars, But..."

We want to thank the audience at RTX Sydney for joining us for this very special MDB Live

Thank you everybody!

[Cheers and applause]

BURNIE: And don't forget, if you like this video be sure to check out all the other episodes

of MDB

And check out our card game at

Thanks everybody!

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