(OMINOUS INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
OPTIMUS: We were once a peaceful race
of intelligent, mechanical beings.
But then came the war
between the Autobots, who fought for freedom
and the Decepticons, who dreamt of tyranny.
Overmatched and outnumbered,
our defeat was all but certain.
But in the war's final days,
one Autobot ship escaped the battle.
It was carrying a secret cargo,
which would have changed our planet's fate.
A desperate mission.
Our final hope.
A hope that vanished.
MAN 1: One up there. One over there.
And one more down there.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER RADIO)
(HIGH-PITCHED RADIO SIGNAL)
What you got?
MAN 2: Impact detected.
We have impact confirmed.
Contact at 2250 GMT.
Get me SecDef on the phone right away.
MAN 1: Mr. McNamara, the President is expecting you.
KENNEDY: Get Bobby in here.
ROBERT: Mr. President, designation, top secret.
We believe a UFO has crashed into the Moon.
MAN 2: We think the Russians are onto it as well.
Well, then you tell NASA to move heaven and earth.
We need to get to the moon.
ROBERT: We're going to attempt a manned mission.
NASA said it would take five years.
You get there before the Russians.
KENNEDY: I believe that this nation should commit itself
to achieving the goal
before this decade is out
of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to the Earth.
NASA TECHNICIAN: Ignition sequence start.
Five, four, three, two, one.
All engines running.
Liftoff. We have a liftoff.
Thirty-two minutes past the hour. Liftoff on Apollo 11.
Neil Armstrong reporting Apollo 11 on proper heading.
Apollo 11 is on the way, riding that
pillar of flame
from the Saturn V out there, 250,000 miles away,
where the moon is waiting
for man's first arrival.
Houston, you're a go for landing. Over.
BUZZ: Forty feet, down two and a half. Picking up some dust.
Thirty feet, two and a half down. Faint shadow.
Four forward. Drifting to the right a little.
Down a half.
Okay, engine stop.
Tranquility Base here.
The Eagle has landed.
TECHNICIAN: We copy you down, Eagle.
You got a bunch of guys about to turn blue.
We're breathing again.
CRONKITE: Perhaps 400 million persons
are watching this broadcast today
of the greatest event in our time and one of the great events
of all recorded history.
NEIL: I'm at the foot of the ladder.
Okay, I'm gonna step off the LEM now.
That's one small step for man,
one giant leap for mankind.
Are we good?
MAN: Unofficial time on the first step, 109...
TECHNICIAN: Apollo 11? This is Houston, over.
Eagle, we're getting a signal interference. Do you copy?
CRONKITE: We now have had confirmation
of loss of signal
from the Apollo 11.
The Apollo 11 is, at the moment, on the far side of the moon.
Neil, you are dark on the rock.
Mission is a go.
We have 21 minutes.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER RADIO)
It's some sort of giant metal face.
Control, we are inside the ship.
Way too big to check the entire ship.
Everything's dead in here, Houston.
No signs of life anywhere.
These things are massive.
We copy. You've got seven minutes on your oxygen.
We are not alone after all, are we?
No, sir. We're not alone.
MAN: Go ahead, Mr. President.
NIXON: Hello, Neil and Buzz. I'm talking to you by telephone
from the Oval Room at the White House.
And this certainly has to be the most
historic telephone call ever made.
I just can't tell you how proud we all are of you.
For every American, this has to be the proudest day of our lives.
Because of what you have done...
TECHNICIAN: We have splashdown.
NIXON: ...the heavens have become a part
of man's world.
For one priceless moment
in the whole history of man
all the people on this Earth are truly one.
One in their pride in what you have done.
It inspires us to redouble our efforts
to bring peace and tranquility to Earth.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
CARLY: My hero needs to wake up.
What is that?
This is your new lucky bunny.
It's a beautiful thought, Carly,
but I don't think it's the whole bunny that's lucky.
You see, it's just this section here.
You see, it's just the rabbit foot that's lucky.
Well, it's just a good luck charm. To help you think positive?
Come on, get up.
Hey, wear that nice tie.
You need any money for lunch?
No, I don't need any money for lunch.
I have money from yesterday's lunch.
SAM: You love it, don't you? I'm just your American boy toy.
(CHUCKLES) A lover boy toy.
You know how demoralizing it is to have saved the world twice
and still be groveling for a job?
People don't know you saved the world, Sam.
I mean, I do. I believe you.
The government knows. I mean, they could hook me up with a job
right here in D.C.
I mean, I should be working with the Autobots, otherwise it's not fair.
Come on, they paid for your college.
The President gave you a hero medal.
OBAMA: Thank you, man. Great job.
(WHISPERING) That's the coolest thing that ever happened to me.
MAN: All right, guys.
And, as I recall, that wasn't even the highlight of your day.
Mr. Ambassador, here.
WOMAN: British Embassy, you're up next.
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)
JUDY: No, you don't wear it. See, you've gotta... The box.
SAM: I couldn't, even if I wanted to.
JUDY: You're supposed to leave it in the box, right?
You keep it in this. What a gorgeous box.
Oh, yeah. My medal. You know who gave that to me?
President of the United States.
Babe, it's hard for everybody to get a job.
I don't have time. You see, my parents are gonna be here in a week
on their road trip Partybus World Tour.
If my dad gets here and I don't have a job,
he's gonna spank me. You know, it's go time for me.
All right, tonight, I'll give you a job.
Romance me with a nice dinner and maybe you can get that bonus.
CARLY: (SCREAMS) Ugh!
CARLY: Get him out of here.
BRAINS: Wait. No, no, no, no.
CARLY: Oh, he's gross!
They're stranded here. Somebody's got to watch out for them.
Yesterday, that one was in my underwear drawer.
Did research. Looking real good, too. (CHUCKLES)
Oh! No need to hit me.
You are not a normal boyfriend.
That's what you love about me.
We're not at the love word yet.
Maybe a little bit closer when you're covering your half of the rent.
WHEELIE: Frickin' shorting my circuits out here!
It's inhumane, what it is! Make us live in a box
on a balcony, right next to a beast! Like a common animal!
You and your creepy sidekick can't be in here without permission.
According to who? Miss Blondie Blonde?
Giddyup, little doggie! Ha!
(IMITATES WHIPPING NOISE)
Yo, Brains, wassup?
Shit, I seen this one. It's the one where Spock goes nuts.
You know, Sam, I don't know about moving in with this chick.
What if she dumps us like the last girl?
She was mean. Didn't like her.
Us guys got to stick together.
♪ We are family ♪
No, we are not family. You're a political refugee,
and I have finally found someone who appreciates me for me.
Well, you tell her that we're not your pets,
and we're not your toys!
All right? We're an advanced, genius alien race just looking for a home.
JUDY: Maybe it wasn't a good idea.
RON: Didn't have to stop.
Come on. What're they going to do, tow it?
JUDY: Where is he?
Oh, come on, that's funny! Ha-ha.
I missed you guys so much.
Sure, you did. What do you think?
SAM: Look at that.
You look old.
Feel like I can see the end.
I love your little tie. Hey, where's my girl?
Where's my beautiful Carly?
She's at work, Ma.
She's got a new job. You guys said you were gonna be here in a week.
The 21st, not the 11th, Dad, remember?
We just hauled ass in this thing.
We stopped for gas.
This thing. The love tub, it flies.
Oh, are we keeping you from something? Like, say, your job?
Well, it's about time. You had us worried.
I have job interviews.
You don't have to be so negative, Dad. You know, you're in D.C.
You're here with your son and your family.
I mean, it's a good time.
It sucks that you don't have a job.
Yeah, but there's good things to do here, too, right?
Right? Museums and monuments, okay?
I'll see you tonight.
I'm bagging the gift.
JUDY: Sam, I think for an interview you should wear real pants.
SAM: I think for life, you should wear real pants.
JUDY: Oh, what happened to Bumblebee?
He's off on his missions. I had to get this for backup.
RON: Your car has a job, huh?
What does it change into?
It doesn't change into anything. It's a collector's item, Ma.
I got it for a steal. It just needs some work. Trust me.
JUDY: No, I think it's darling.
It reminds me a lot of Bumblebee,
if Bumblebee were a sad piece of shit.
JUDY: Come on, we'll give you a ride!
OPTIMUS: In the years since our arrival, our new home, Earth,
has seen much change.
Energon detectors guard its cities now.
Long-range defense systems watch the skies.
So now we assist our allies in solving human conflicts,
to prevent mankind from bringing harm to itself.
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
(SHOUTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
On the ground, per favore! And stay there!
OPTIMUS: We work in secret teams
on various missions around the globe.
And all the while
we search for signs of our true enemies' return.
VOSHKOD: I am Voshkod, General Counsel
with Ukrainian Department of Energy.
My government will officially deny
that we're having this conversation.
At one of our decommissioned facilities, a discovery was made,
which I fear may be alien in nature.
The facility's name is Chernobyl.
LENNOX: Mr. Voshkod.
So, uninhabited since '86.
I hear it won't be livable again for another 20,000 years?
At least. Ukraine was the most fertile land.
It's a tragedy.
LENNOX: Gear up! We have 60 minutes on the ground.
Watch your radiation levels.
Mr. Voshkod, where's your protective gear?
Where's your protective gear?
It would not matter.
For me, it's only a matter of time.
Through the school.
Yuri will take you below. And one other thing, Colonel.
In private, there were some energy experiments.
It can wait.
LENNOX: Keep moving. Stay tight.
(BREATHING THROUGH OXYGEN MASK)
Okay, right here. I think I found it.
Optimus, we got a visual.
Looks like the object's clamped
in some kind of a metal harness.
What's this? Guys!
Why does this thing have Soviet space program markings on it?
Energon readings, sir. It's strong.
Below us. It's coming fast.
LENNOX: Get topside now! Move, move, move!
Weapons up! Heavy weapons up!
Stay behind me!
It's circling around us!
It's taking our flank!
Get the heavy weapon!
What the hell was that thing?
Why was he after this?
This is an engine part from a long lost Autobot ship.
Pleasure working with you.
JUDY: Interviews. This is so exciting.
Honey, do you want some gum?
Your breath gets really gnarly when you're nervous.
Yeah. Search is over.
I'm Mr. Whitley.
Is anybody else joining?
No? You want me to move right there?
I'll move right there.
I'd prefer not.
MATSUMOTO: Ready? Begin.
Graduated this year. Majored in geopolitics. Minor in tech studies.
Very interested in government and technology,
how that's gonna intersect and co-exist.
Shape the future.
RON: Why did we bother sending him to an Ivy college for?
Three months out of school and he can't find a job?
Martha, can I call you Martha?
No, you may not.
Okay, Jack, there's two types of people in this world.
There's thinkers, there's doers.
There's winners, there's dreamers, and there's buddies.
What about some weaknesses?
(SCOFFS) I don't...
You have a very trustworthy face.
You remind me of like an Asian Colonel Sanders.
A man I can trust.
JUDY: He's a millennial.
That means they're the, you know, like lost generation.
Why was the FBI looking for you?
Yeah, FBI. Good of you to flag that.
It was during all that alien craziness when you were 14.
I mean, they were very kind to me, found me in a jiffy.
And that's all been expunged. Obama gave me a medal, actually.
I'm just saying. It's always good to have a medal guy
in the office, with a medal.
In this office, we're mostly Republicans, so...
I'm not feeling too good.
Why don't you get a little dipping tray and dip the dog in Pepto?
That's a solution.
Pow. I got another one. We got to go.
Got myself a Mr. Sam Witwicky, recent college graduate.
Previous experience, next to zero,
yet he has a recommend letter from our board?
WTF to that.
Do I know somebody on your board?
Here's the deal.
You know who we are. Accuretta Systems,
global leader in telecom, aerospace,
17 billion in profit last year.
We contract for DARPA, NASA, JPL, you name it.
You perform here, doors open for you anywhere.
First job out of college is critical, kid.
You either take a step down the correct career path
or you fall into a life-sucking abyss.
So it all depends on how you respond to my next two words.
You catch me off guard.
I don't know where to begin.
I'm an open book. Ask me any question you like.
So you're a go-getter, ramrod...
...take-charge kind of guy?
I'm a killer. A stone-cold killer.
So, take-charge guy?
Take-charge, Viking, barbarian, of course, that's me.
Pow! I'm here.
We are not looking for that here.
No brown-nosing. No suck up. No toolery. I...
SECRETARY: Yes, Mr. Brazos.
Why is Shontel using what appears to be a red cup
from the red floor
when we are on the yellow floor?
I'm on it.
It is a visual and, therefore, a visceral betrayal.
Such a dumbass.
It's total anarchy around here.
The e-mail I read said administrative aide?
I'm gonna go.
Do you have any idea how many Ivy League Phi Beta Kappas
would kill to...
Mister, I saved your life twice. Okay?
I can't tell you how or when or why,
but I have done shit that matters
and I'd just kind of like a job where I matter again.
So thank you, but no, thank you, okay?
You know what I think? You want the job after this job.
But, son, this is the job that's standing in your way.
And that's why you're gonna be so very, very good at it.
'Cause when I look at you, I see a younger me.
MAN: All arriving Autobots, in par,
training and debriefing in 15 minutes.
Dino, report to Bay 23.
Sideswipe, Bay 37 for weapons assessment.
MEARING: Senator, I suggest you remember that
when the NSA wants funding, they call me.
When the CIA is gonna take out a target,
they ask first for my permission.
And when the President wants to know
which members of Congress are politically vulnerable
in terms of, let's say, undiscovered criminal conduct,
I'm the number he dials.
U.S. agencies say they have been monitoring the blast.
But if, in fact, this was a covert military strike,
no nation has claimed responsibility.
CIA is up my ass
about this mystery raid in the Middle East.
So, it's time to come clean. Was your unit involved?
I'm not sure, ma'am.
All right, guys. This is how you do a Decepticon head kill shot.
As Director of National Intelligence,
I'm a really big fan of intelligent answers.
I can't really tell you definitively.
These Autobots are like teenage kids.
They like to sneak out of the house every once in a while.
Colonel Lennox, are you in command or are you not?
Yes, ma'am, I am.
Stop with the "ma'am." Enough with the "ma'am."
Do I look like a "ma'am"?
No, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. Yes.
This gun is my perfect invention, Ironhide.
Good, you're here!
Me name's Que.
I do hope you have answers for him. I've never seen him so upset.
Optimus, you remember Charlotte Mearing?
Our Director of National Intelligence?
He's in a bad mood. He's not talking to anybody today.
What is this, the silent treatment?
We've seen that and this is not that.
This is worse.
Prime! Make something of yourself!
You lied to us.
Everything humans know of our planet
we were told had all been shared.
So why was this found in human possession?
We were in the dark on this also.
It was Director Only clearance at Sector 7 until now.
Hermes. Birkin. Green ostrich!
Oh, my God.
This is a secret few men knew, and fewer still remain alive.
Allow me to please introduce to you
two of NASA's founding mission directors
and astronaut Dr. Buzz Aldrin,
one of the first two men to step foot on the moon.
Sir? Optimus Prime.
From a fellow space traveler, it's a true honor.
The honor is mine.
Our entire space race of the 1960s,
it appears, was in response to an event.
Our astronauts investigated a crashed alien ship.
No survivors onboard.
We were sworn to secrecy by our Commander in Chief.
This was a mission you will never speak of.
I understand, sir.
A total of 35 people knew the real plan at NASA.
Soviets managed to land unmanned probes.
Somehow they must have picked up that fuel rod.
We believe the Russians deduced
that the rod was a fissionable fuel assembly,
believed they had it mastered,
and tried to harness it at Chernobyl.
We landed six missions in all.
We took hundreds of photos and samples.
We locked them away forever,
and the moon program was shut down.
Well, did you search the crash vault?
The ship's name was the Ark.
I watched it escape Cybertron myself.
It was carrying an Autobot technology
which would have won us the war.
And its captain.
Who was its captain?
The great Sentinel Prime, the technology's inventor.
He was commander of the Autobots before me.
It's imperative that I find it
before the Decepticons learn of its location.
Our Autobot spacecraft has the ability to get there.
And you must pray it's in time.
(ACOUSTIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
Hi. I'm here to see Carly Spencer.
You got the job?
This is crazy.
You really got it?
See, what did I tell you? It's the bunny.
You are so welcome.
Do you like me more?
A little bit, yeah.
You said you were his assistant curator,
you didn't say the guy owns Space Mountain.
I know. Isn't it beautiful in here?
And he's the coolest guy. Ever.
Hey. A pleasure to meet you.
Pleasure meeting you. Carly's told me a lot about you.
Well, vice versa. It's a beautiful building you got.
It's like the Starship Enterprise in here.
Thank you very much. It leaks.
Before Carly came to help run the collection,
it was just a complete mess.
But now, the restorations are back on track.
We're going to Pebble Beach this year,
and we're gonna get a trophy for that stand right there.
You know why? Because this woman right here
is my secret weapon.
Mr. Gould, please, you exaggerate.
All I've done is get you organized.
You've done much more than that, my Duchess.
Nicknames, that's fun.
Yeah. The Duchess.
You know, when I stole her away from the British Embassy,
I said, "It's easy to manage a country.
"Try managing a priceless collection of art."
Take a look at this 1939 Delahaye 165 Cabriolet.
Designed by a Frenchman.
Look at the curves. Elegant, isn't it? Beautiful.
Built to evoke the body of the ideal woman.
My dad had a $10 desk and a dream,
and he built it into an empire.
SAM: (CHUCKLES) Wow.
DYLAN: We're the largest accounting firm in the U.S.
I started up the venture side after he passed. Invest in the future.
Try and bet on the winners.
See, collecting cars helps me keep my sanity.
You guys look great.
That was a great day, Mr. Gould.
I haven't seen that one.
No. Me, neither.
Jeans are tight.
Here we go. Here we go. You see that?
Judgment. Judging a man by his car?
And you're gonna wave at him while he's judging me?
CARLY: What's with you? He's my boss.
This job pays for our food, our rent.
No, I totally understand. I'm totally fine. I get it. I'm well fed.
And guess what? I'm not your boy toy anymore.
I got my big boy pants on. You see them?
In the car. Thank you, Duchess.
Oh, my God. Are you threatened by him?
Threatened? What am I threatened by?
His money? His power? His good looks?
None of the above. Check!
God! Your temper tantrums are so sexy.
Get in the car, please.
Sam, he's hardly the first man to ever smile at me.
I think I can handle it.
Hold on, hold on.
It's the smiling back part that gets me. Okay?
No more smiles. Never again. I promise.
That works for me.
Easy! Easy! You're not gonna get it started that way.
Well, I was just getting it ready.
I'm about 32% done with my restoration.
Some chrome work, put a spoiler on the back. Done deal.
You know, Carly's been telling me
you've been struggling job-wise.
Just so you know,
I'm on the board for Accuretta Systems, and I put in a call for you.
Let's keep it between us, okay? She's so proud of you.
You're a lucky man.
OPTIMUS: Xanthium approaching Tranquility Base.
MAN: You're a go for landing.
Ratchet, let's roll.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER RADIO)
OPTIMUS: We're entering the Ark.
His levels are faint.
He locked himself away to guard the pillars.
You're coming home, old friend.
MEGATRON: All hail Megatron.
My master! Yes, my master! Yes!
Don't be greedy, my fragile ones.
My poor master.
How it pains me to see you so wounded, so weak.
Spare me, you gaseous sycophant!
You know what you are told, which is nothing.
Soundwave reporting, Lord Megatron.
And what news from your little assassin?
Autobots have taken the bait!
They've discovered the Ark and returned with its cargo.
You did me great honor tracking that ship to the moon.
Your human collaborators have served their purpose, Soundwave.
It's time to eliminate loose ends.
SOUNDWAVE: Laserbeak, kill them all.
LASERBEAK: With pleasure.
Is your daddy home?
"Then Madeline said..."
MOM: Get out of the house!
What are you doing in my house?
LASERBEAK: Just visiting.
(ACOUSTIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
What is this hoochie-mama outfit?
No, this is the aerospace division! We do not allow that here!
New guy! You see that? That's a Latin meltdown, okay?
You ever show up in my office with a hoochie-mama outfit, you're fired.
You got that?
Okay, you're gonna be on this cart
for two-and-a-half years, okay?
I want you to live it, love it and name it.
There's no ladder climbing in my office. I run a tight ship. Okay?
I found that paper I was telling you about.
What are we looking at?
You do that to me again, and I'll kick your ass!
How are you?
I had a meeting downtown. Was it okay for me to stop by?
I don't know. My 500-page employee conduct manual
isn't exactly a page turner.
This is great.
Yeah, Autobots are off saving the world,
and I have organized four binders.
I'm living the dream. Come on.
Listen. Saturday. Dylan's throwing a party at his house.
It's a work thing, but he's invited you, too.
Oh, did he?
I want you to come and laugh at my bad jokes.
It would really mean a lot to me, okay?
I'd love to go. How'd you get over here?
You don't have a car.
Yes, I do.
What, did you win it in a raffle?
He gave me one.
He gave you a car?
Yeah, I think it was a work perk.
Huh. A work perk.
What kind of car did he give you?
A Mercedes SLS AMG.
Really throaty engine.
WOMAN: Mercedes-Benz SLS
combines breathtaking performance...
You drove this here? (SIGHS)
That's a $200,000 car.
(WHISPERING) I know.
You know how long it would take me to afford a car like this?
A long time?
Yeah, like 53 years.
He said it was for both of us.
Then what we should do is, we should sell it and buy a house.
You're frustrated, I know.
I've been there.
It's called paying your dues. Good things will happen.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I need some lunch time filing done, stat.
Who would like to score some Bruce Brazos points?
Bruce, you found your guy.
The man who makes this company run.
Now, who have we here?
Is it a sister, Facebook friend, Twitter tweeter?
Carly, this is Bruce. Bruce.
I'm his girlfriend. A pleasure to meet you. Sam was right.
You really do have a smashing head of hair.
Well, thank you.
Sam, I got to run.
Here, your present.
Your favorite color.
Nice to meet you, Mr. Brazos.
See you, boys.
(ELEVATOR MUSIC PLAYING)
I'm still stewing about that binder incident, Jerry.
May I finish my Shuhua milk, Donny?
I don't care about your exotic milk. I care about respect!
I know who you are!
I'm talking to you!
Excuse me. Thank you.
Slow down, tiger.
You showed up in the background of six different photos,
two continents, with aliens.
That was you in Egypt, huh, right? Because you know the aliens.
Give me my jacket!
I'm Wang. Deep Wang. Deep Wang.
You're not getting it. Deep Throat.
Watergate? I'm talking code to you... Shh!
They watch and listen.
I can't go to the government, but you can!
Because shit's going down, son! It is Code Pink, as in Floyd!
Dark Side! Why do you think no one's been up there since 1972?
I know you're speaking English,
it's just a very strange English.
That's why I'm not...
Don't. I'm gonna hit you.
I'm gonna hit you right back, son.
It's my manifesto.
They're whacking us out,
everyone who knows what's on the dark...
Your alien friends are in danger,
you know, the good ones. It's up to you.
JERRY: Calm down.
What are you looking at?
Are you up in my shit? Who are you working for?
Staredown, you and me.
Guess I won.
The Russian space program.
Space program ends.
Dark side... Dark side of the moon.
Look what I found outside the bathroom. Is it yours?
Deal with this.
I did everything you want!
I really think we should talk, 'cause some of the stuff...
Whoa! Knock first!
Can't you see I'm busy?
Who are you? Who are you?
You straddled me in the stall.
That's happened to me once in this life. I wouldn't forget it.
From the bathroom stall. You took your package out.
You took your package out.
Whoa! We are not boyfriends, okay?
One phone call from me and I'll have you fired.
Oh, yes, I will, Gaylord!
Are you okay?
Should I come back? When should I come back?
Come back when you learn some manners!
I don't know him! I would never say anything!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Okay, okay! I sabotaged the mapping satellite,
just like I promised,
I can put a blind spot in the program as a bonus.
What more do you want from me?
Jerry, you are my favorite.
I'll do whatever you want me to do.
I know, but my superiors need me to...
Please, you don't have to...
What did you say to Witwicky?
Who wants some chicken dinner now, bitch?
'Cause somebody messed with the wrong Wang today!
Come on! You want some of me?
I don't need any more didactic lectures from Chuck.
(CAR ALARM SOUNDING)
BRUCE: Get legal.
Come on, people. Yes, a workmate died,
but looking out the window is not going to bring him back.
The man was depressed.
Don't take a picture!
You can keep watching him, but he's not getting up.
You all read "Humpty Dumpty." Okay?
I'm spearheading the press. You clean up.
Wang is everywhere. He is in the bistro.
He's in the bamboo. He's on the balustrade.
You see the sidewalk down there? Man!
Box up his personals. Get his name off his parking space.
MAN: Hey, when did we get a new copier?
Listen, I'm not gonna say anything about what I saw.
Who you share a toilet stall with is totally your business.
This is exceedingly Japanese.
(COPIER BEEPING THE TRANSFORMERS THEME)
They never make it easy, do they?
CARLY: What is with you?
SAM: This is the real deal, Carly, okay?
I need you to stay composed. It's real life. I'll explain it to you later.
We've got an emergency. You gotta get Colonel Lennox out here.
I'm reporting a Decepticon. The Decepticons are back.
You gotta open that gate right now.
Easy, sir. This is Health and Human Services.
Right. Packing M4s?
What are you protecting, colostomy bags?
Bedpans? Throat lozenges?
Where'd you get that hat from, nursing school?
So, you're nurses and foot-powder protectors? Fantastic.
I don't think we're in the right place.
We are in the right place.
We're in the right place and I'm gonna talk to Optimus right now.
You're gonna get Optimus out here.
Sir, you got the wrong building.
I don't know what you're talking about.
What part of "Decepticons are back" do you not understand?
Yo! You being a smartass?
Do not hit my car! It's a collector's item!
I wouldn't do that.
CARLY: You're crazy!
(ALARM BEEPING) We got an Energon reading!
We've got aliens in the vehicle!
You move, you're dead! Out! Out!
Got aliens in the vehicle!
Freeze! Get out!
Are you kidding me?
CARLY: Sam, they've got guns!
GUARD: I got him. Go!
Bee! Is Bee in there?
(GROANS) Okay, all right!
This how you treat Autobots? We're on the same team.
Yeah, enjoy your next job at 7-Eleven, dickhead.
How's your car now?
That's my car.
Come on. Sam.
What is your deal, huh?
I know your black ops stuff is important to you.
I'm not trying to diminish it or guilt-trip you or anything,
I just never see you anymore.
You can't come to the garage and just hang out one night?
Sam. That makes me feel bad.
I hope you feel bad. You should feel bad.
Look at the jalopy I'm driving now. I feel bad every single day.
GUARD: Yo, let's go, both of you. Lennox wants to see you.
What, we not good enough for you anymore?
I'm sorry, babe. They were very rude, all right?
And you're fixing my car. You don't think so?
SAM: Raise your hand if you had a flying psycho-ninja copier
trying to kill you today!
Those are my brass knuckles.
That's my anklet. Do I have to take that off, too?
And my toe rings?
MAN: (ON PA) All NEST officials clear the floor.
We have 10 minutes until attempted contact.
MEARING: We've taken possession of the five devices
that were hidden in the ship with Sentinel Prime.
They're some kind of prototype Autobot technology.
They say Sentinel was the Einstein of his civilization,
so we're gonna keep these locked up
until we know what we're dealing with.
Right now, no one gets access. No one.
This Wang guy recognized me. He told me to warn you.
He was talking about the dark side of the moon,
then they killed him.
Wait a minute.
He mentioned the moon?
Yeah, dark side of the moon.
But why would Decepticons want to kill humans?
I thought their war was with the Autobots.
And that is when he made his first quick-look science report.
That's what we want...
Who's the chick? Okay.
Excuse me! Colonel Lennox?
Director Mearing, this is Sam Witwicky...
I know his name, Colonel. I wanna know who gave him clearance?
Who gave me clearance? How about Optimus Prime,
when he touched down in suburbia looking for my house?
This is the National Intelligence Director.
In case you...
Disrespecting a federal officer? Huh.
Maybe that'll get you somewhere. Who's she?
She's my girlfriend.
What is this, like, a date?
She knows all about the Autobots, okay? She knows Bumblebee.
And she comes from a military family. I can vouch for her.
Hey, I have an idea. How about we get back to the important topics,
like the fact that I almost had
my face cut off by a Decepticon?
As a taxpayer, I'd like to lodge a complaint,
as a matter of fact.
Okay, listen, all right?
One of the software engineers at Sam's office was murdered today.
He was involved in NASA's lunar mapping probe.
Here's the thing, Colonel Lennox.
We cannot entrust national security to teenagers
unless I missed a policy paper.
Are we doing that now? No. Good.
I don't care who you are.
If you breathe a word of what you see in here,
you will do time for treason.
Do you understand me?
I'll take my orders from the Autobots. I know them. I don't know you.
LENNOX: Sentinel Prime.
These things run on Energon, and he's out of it. He's in a
sort of a sleep mode.
OPTIMUS: Let us begin.
That's the great Matrix of Leadership.
He holds the only thing in the universe
that can repower a Transformer's spark.
This is incredible.
we bid you return.
Hold your fire!
It is I, Optimus Prime!
It is all right. You are safe.
There is nothing to fear.
We are here.
You are home, Sentinel.
The war... The war!
OPTIMUS: The war was lost.
Cybertron is now but a barren wasteland.
We have taken refuge here, on planet Earth.
Its human race is our ally.
My ship. We came under fire.
The pillars. Where are the pillars?
You saved five of them, including the control pillar.
We once had hundreds!
MEARING: Excuse me, gentlemen.
May I ask, what is this technology you're looking for?
SENTINEL: It is the ability to reshape the universe.
Together the pillars form a space bridge.
I designed, and I alone, can control it.
It defies your laws of physics
to transport matter through time and space.
You're talking about a teleportation device, aren't you?
Yes, for resources, for refugees.
Refugees, or troops of soldiers, weapons, maybe bombs!
A means of an instant strike! That's its military function, isn't it?
It is our technology and it must be returned.
Yes. If humans say so.
You can't just bring weapons of mass destruction into our atmosphere!
You kind of have to clear customs first!
A little formality called paperwork
kind of separates us from the animals.
I will overlook your condescending tone
if you heed the gravity of mine.
The Decepticons must never know the space bridge is here.
For in their hands,
it would mean the end of your world.
"Total Nightmare" file.
So, the investigation is open. We've sent agents to your office.
And, for the time being, we're gonna send you home with Autobot protection.
Who do I need to speak to
to get you guys to understand that I can help, that I can contribute?
Hey, we can all help. Want to tell you what I know?
I could tell you about the solar system,
all the fun planets to hang out in.
Get off my desk, please.
You pulling out guns? I can't help you out now. She angry.
Oh, my God.
What do you envision for me? I go home now?
I go back to work? I make copies? I mean...
This is a unit for veteran intelligence officers
and Special Forces,
not for boys who once owned special cars.
That's a bit harsh, isn't it, ma'am?
Don't call me ma'am. I'm not a ma'am.
Well, you're a woman, aren't you?
So, are those yours?
I only ask 'cause I also have a medal, from the President.
Yeah. Great. So, it's not that complicated, right?
No one gets to work with the Autobots unless I approve it.
You're breaking my chain of command.
Come on, let's go. You've done what you came for.
With all due respect, young man, I appreciate what you did.
But you're not a soldier.
You're a messenger. You've always been a messenger.
He's a hero.
Bee, you take the freight elevator. I'll see you up there.
This blows. That lady officially kicked us out.
Yeah. Witness Protection Program sucks.
Yeah, but we're a whole lot safer
with big yellow and his cannons.
That dog can't protect crap.
(CANNONS POWERING UP)
You miss hanging out?
Yeah, me, too.
That woman, she called me a messenger.
Can you believe that? After everything I've done, I'm a messenger.
I believe it. I tell you, Sammy, we feel the same way.
The disrespect on this rock is criminal.
We should do something about it.
Bee, I need to know why they're killing humans.
I say we call in the expert.
O'REILLY: My next guest is a former
American intelligence operative
who has dared to speak out
regarding our alleged military alliance with what many describe
as a group of extraterrestrial mercenaries.
He is the author of the bestselling book, Code-Name Hero.
Former special agent, Seymour Simmons.
Bill. Big fan. Great to be here.
Now, Agent Simmons, you would have us believe
that it is in our best interest
to formally take sides in this so-called alien civil war?
Well, the other side wanted to spank us for breakfast,
so I wouldn't exactly call it a toss-up.
These Decepticons are lethal.
But polls show half the world would feel safer
with the Autobots completely gone.
Get them out of here! We don't need them here!
I feel safer when I sleep with a hand grenade.
Doesn't mean I'm always right.
Now, agent, here at The Factor we have obtained documents
that show you were fired...
Chaz, I'm doing an interview.
Sorry, Mr. Simmons.
Budget cuts. Chaz, out.
Your psych evaluation reports
"severe delusional tendencies."
This is ambush journalism.
You want the truth about the alien alliance?
Buy my book! Buy my book, before it's too late, people!
You want a piece of me, Bill?
You want to get naked? I'm ready!
Interview is over! You, out of my house.
You're sounding like a pinhead, agent.
And I've got a suggestion for you.
It's over. Understand?
You have obviously upset Mr. Simmons!
You have 23 seconds to leave the property.
I have called the police!
You are peasant people throwing rocks at a giant!
What's up next? What have we got?
Book signing, Midtown, noon.
Then we pitch your reality show to the Discovery Channel.
And I have this Witwicky who keeps calling me.
Five times today.
Kid? What does he want?
I called you because the Decepticons are back.
I want to know why, and I need your help.
Well, that's good for business.
What if I told you I know a 50-year-old alien secret
that nobody ever told you.
Do not tempt my addiction. I have gone through withdrawal, kid.
Dutch, is this line secure?
Don't take the risk. I'm rich, why should I?
Do not relapse. I won't.
Do not let the demons win.
What kind of secret?
Apollo. Moon. Aliens. Cover-up.
Future tech. Assassinations. That kind of stuff.
Tell Megatron, "Let's tango."
(ENGINE STARTING UP)
So majestic and peaceful, this planet.
Unlike the final days of Cybertron.
I've wondered what might have been
if you had fought the final battle, instead of me.
Never mourn the past, young warrior.
Thanks to you, our race survives.
You were our leader, Sentinel.
It is your right to lead us again.
In a world I do not know,
I am no longer your teacher, Optimus. You are mine.
You've got to break this case down.
What we have here is an astronaut epidemic.
MIA. Dead. Died in a car accident. Killed. DOA. Car death.
It's like these guys can't drive.
They can fly into outer space, but they can't drive a car.
Procured your information, Witwicky.
Thank you, Bruce.
let me see one right now. One time.
Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter.
It says NASA launched it in 2009.
See, forensics show Wang may have messed with the code,
preventing it from mapping the far side of the moon,
which is also the dark side.
They infiltrate us, intimidate us,
coerce us to do their dirty work.
And once they're done,
(IMITATES GUN FIRING)
a double-tap to the cerebellum.
So humans are working for the Decepticons.
I don't think this is about the Decepticons
looking for something on the moon.
I think it's about something they wanted to hide.
Come to Daddy.
Come on, throw down.
BUMBLEBEE: Did you eat a lot of paint chips when you were a kid?
He's a freak.
Sir! We are having a pretty high-level alien intel confab here
that I don't think you're cleared for, errand boy.
Yeah, you're right.
It's a bitching robot.
SAM: I think it's time to go, Bruce.
Thank you so much for this. And...
Got to go, Bruce.
I'm smoking over here. Downloading missing Russian cosmonauts.
Turns out the Soviets canceled a manned mission to the moon.
The moon, in 1972.
And two of their cosmonauts went into hiding in America.
And I just found them alive.
SIMMONS: You're a genius, Brains.
BRAINS: Oh, that was smooth, Bumblebee.
Missed it by that much.
Would somebody care to tell me what the hell's going on?
Who are you?
Who are you?
Who am I? Who is that? Dutch! Frisk her!
Don't touch me.
I'm not gonna touch her.
I was working. I'm sorry about this.
Great. We're homeless.
She lives here? Wow.
You had your chance to frisk her.
I have a girlfriend.
Really? What's her name?
We're supposed to be at Dylan's party, remember?
I do remember, but these are my friends.
They need me. I have to be here right now.
So, what, the Autobots and the military,
they can't handle this on their own?
You know what I liked about your war stories, Sam?
It's that they were stories, they were in the past.
SAM: Look, I know you're thinking about your brother, okay?
And you're thinking about your family. And it's not that situation.
Why not? Why isn't it, Sam?
You think we'd rather have his medals, or we'd rather have him?
I hear you. I get it. Where are you taking my bunny? Stop!
Just stop for a second.
You think I could sleep last night?
And then it hit me. No, Sam wants to be in danger.
He doesn't know who he is without it.
I just want to matter.
You matter to me.
I know you're worried. I know you're worried.
But I promise you, I can handle this.
Can you? You can promise it?
Sam, I don't want to lose you, and I know where this leads.
I'm not ready for this.
Are you coming with me?
Here's your foot.
The warrior's path is a solitary one.
How the hell did she afford that car?
I used to hate them. Now, it's...
SIMMONS: Going to a gig on the hunt for two Russian cosmonauts.
Nothing like driving in a Maybach, huh?
Germans know how to make cars, let me tell you.
My Dutchman, former NSA cybersleuth extraordinaire,
tracked them down here.
So, these cosmonauts went into hiding. Why?
Bingo. I got a match.
You're a German Shepherd, Dutch.
SIMMONS: The thing about Russians is, they never like to talk.
It's gonna take a little of the "international language."
That means "good-bye."
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
Dutch, give me something tough.
We do speak English.
Dutch, you suck.
It's a Cyrillic alphabet.
It's like all the buttons you never push on a calculator!
DUTCH: I don't suck.
Agent Seymour Simmons, Sector Eight, formerly Seven.
We know who you are, cosmonautchiks.
You were supposed to travel to the dark side of the moon,
then it all got shut down.
The question is, why?
"Can my child smoke in here?"
(WOMEN SHOUTING IN RUSSIAN)
Okay, all right. Okay.
Go ahead, shoot me.
I'm willing to die for my country. Are you?
(WOMAN SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
(SHOUTING IN RUSSIAN)
You are beautiful. Has anyone ever told you you're beautiful?
She's a beautiful woman.
Dutch! Back in the cage.
Dutch! Hold, Dutch, hold!
Control your boy, please. Control your boy.
I'm so sorry. That is the old me.
Okay, let's everybody just calm down!
Let's lower the heat, lower the guns.
Let's relax. World War II is over.
DIMITRI: You are about to see one of the biggest Soviet secrets.
America first to send man to the moon.
But USSR first to send camera.
In 1959, our Luna 3
take picture of the dark, the shadow side.
But in 1963, Luna 4 sees...
Around the ship. Hundreds of them.
Yeah, show picture.
With some drag marks.
SAM: I've seen these. These aren't rocks, these are pillars.
Alien pillars for a space bridge.
We know about them because the Autobots have five of these.
The Decepticons must have raided
the ship before Apollo 11 ever got there,
took the pillars, and hid them.
It doesn't make sense.
The Decepticons have the ship. They have all those pillars.
Why would they leave Sentinel
when he's the only one who can use them?
He's the one thing they still need.
We've got to meet up with Sentinel,
rendezvous with him and keep him safe.
Mearing, I just picked up Sentinel.
Optimus is 10 minutes behind.
We're coming to NEST now.
Mr. Witwicky, I thought I made it clear to you
that I did not want you calling this phone.
Listen, the whole thing has been a setup since the beginning.
The Decepticons wanted Optimus to find Sentinel
because only Optimus could revive him.
But we have the space bridge.
Mearing, you have five pillars.
I just learned that they have hundreds.
You're doing exactly what they wanted you to do.
What do you need me to say to you?
The Decepticons are coming for Sentinel Prime!
We're going to NEST.
MAN: (ON PA) We have an Energon alert.
Energon readings detected on the D.C. parkway.
Currently tracking three black Suburbans.
SAM: Bee, you got to get Sentinel out of here! You got to guard him!
Oh, mein Gott! I'm fired!
Watch out! Watch out! Watch out!
Shoot him! Shoot him! Shoot him, Bee!
Bee, you've got to move faster! Faster, Bee! Go!
All right, back to NEST!
Dino, I got him!
Is there a problem?
A little Mexican standoff we got here.
And we'll let you escape with your dignity.
SIDESWIPE: Ironhide, watch out!
Get inside! Let's go!
Move! Keep moving!
Go, go, go!
We got Decepticons everywhere.
I've got my whole team deployed looking for them. Ironhide!
Protect Sentinel! Get him locked up inside!
Consider it done!
Hey, you've got to guard him, 'cause he's the key to the whole thing.
Indeed, I am. What you must realize, my Autobot brothers,
is we were never going to win the war.
For the sake of our planet's survival, a deal had to be made
What have you done?
I hereby discharge you from duty.
Rally all NEST forces back to the base! Come on!
Get a medic down here!
We don't have enough men! Do not engage Sentinel!
MEARING: Just go to the back gate.
Watch left! Watch left!
MEARING: Let's go! Follow me!
Director, don't go there!
What is going on?
What do you think you are doing?
I am a Prime!
I do not take orders from you.
Director Mearing, come on.
We can't fight him. Let's go. We have to go.
Now return what belongs to me!
Oh, my God!
You guys okay?
Is everybody out?
Everybody, stay calm. You're gonna be fine.
Yeah, take a look, Optimus! This is all on you!
Sentinel hit the vault! Took the pillars.
Come on, let's go. All right, notify the 101st Airborne!
We need to hunt this thing down!
RON: Hot from our little campfire.
S'mores. Isn't that great?
We're really living off the land.
SAM: Mom, Dad, have you guys seen Carly come home yet?
Excuse me. Can you knock, please? This is our bedroom.
Why wouldn't she be at home?
We had a fight and we might have broken up,
or be on a break. I don't really know.
Look, I can't talk about it right now.
I can't go into details, Mom. I have to find her.
Sit down. We're having a family meeting. Family meeting!
You may not know this,
but your father and I were not always this perfectly happy.
You know, there was a time in our marriage
when I thought this was not gonna work out.
Can we please not?
She's damaging him.
You break up with one world-class hottie...
No. Stop. Stop, okay? She dumped me,
I moved on to something better.
That's it. I'm a happier person.
The second beautiful girl, and you lose her.
Why don't you help me?
They had an argument.
SAM: One fight.
You're not gonna get a third one,
I mean, unless you have like a big...
What the... Ma!
Maybe you just don't know what you're doing.
I don't want to talk about this anymore.
You need the book.
Tell him about the book.
You're always wrong. Get used to it.
Okay. You've gotta read this. She Comes First.
There's some killer shit in here.
That's it, I'm going.
Sit down, sit down! Back me up!
Happy wife, happy life.
Unhappy wife, stone-cold misery for the rest of your...
All I'm saying is, do you love this girl?
She's the one.
Then you gotta go get her.
I mean, your dad and I, when we had troubles,
he moved heaven and earth to find me.
Say what you said. Say it.
RON: "I will follow you to the end of time."
Does that suck or what?
It's like a bad sci-fi film.
No. It is so sweet.
I want you to get out of the city. You get as far away from here as you can.
I love you.
My master! Such a brilliant scheme!
So when Sentinel left Cybertron, it was to defect?
He was meant to rendezvous with me here on Earth
before fate waylaid us both.
The only way to revive him,
we needed Prime and his Matrix.
STARSCREAM: Excellent strategy.
So he is now your partner, master?
He is my greatest triumph.
Stop! No! No, Sentinel!
Here we are.
Fight us now.
Watch out! Move it! Move it!
Why, Sentinel, why?
For Cybertron! For our home!
What war destroyed, we can rebuild!
But only if we join with the Decepticons.
No, it's not the only way. This is our home! We must defend the humans!
So lost you are, Optimus.
On Cybertron, we were gods.
And here, they call us machines.
Let the humans serve us, or perish.
You're lucky I didn't kill you. In time you'll see.
It's not over.
DYLAN: Now, if I were him, I wouldn't let you out of my sight for one second.
It's funny. I was just thinking on the way over here,
I could really use some advice from Dylan, and there he is.
Can I speak to you, Carly?
Welcome. Please, sit down.
Have a drink.
You know what, I don't need a drink. Or a car, or a job.
I just need to speak to my girlfriend alone.
Is that okay with you, Mr. Inappropriate?
CARLY: What's going on?
SAM: I'll tell you outside.
I really think I can help you, Sam.
I remember a talk I had with my dad once about tough choices.
Yeah, now's not the time. We'll set something up, though.
Of course, it was way back, when my dad's firm was in charge
of budget review and accounting for NASA.
You see, the thing that he taught me was,
when it's not your war, you join the side that's going to win.
Too direct? Or is it just me?
Certainly not you, sir.
SOUNDWAVE: You're mine!
Sam, I can't get out!
SAM: Someone get help!
Good night, Mr. Dylan.
CARLY: Get me out of here!
SAM: Help! Get help!
He's young. He will learn. Good night.
Get me out!
It was a fun night.
You really think you're the first man ever
asked to join the noble alien cause?
Who are you?
Do you know why we've not been back to the moon since 1972?
Because these two,
they came to my dad and they told him
to do some creative accounting.
Make it way too expensive to ever go back. So, he and the others
shut down the American and Russian space programs.
And they've been our clients ever since.
You helped them kill people?
You think they'd give you a choice?
Besides, it's not like I personally participated.
I am a liaison. I liaise.
It's hostile takeover time, Sam.
Let her go!
DYLAN: I've had my eye on you for years, Sam.
You're the one spy I've never been able to provide
as someone close to the Autobots.
Sam! Don't do what he wants!
Yes, he will.
They all do.
They will slaughter her, you understand me?
In the time it takes you to blink,
they'll do it to her and they'll do it to me.
So you show a little respect
when someone offers you a job!
You are to track down Optimus Prime,
because you're the one human he trusts,
and you will ask one question.
How does he intend to fight back?
Strategies, tactics, everything!
Has a nasty little bite, doesn't it? It's very high-tech.
It lets us see what you see, hear what you hear
and it taps your nervous system.
So, if you so much as try and signal...
I don't know what to tell you, Sam.
Relationships have consequences.
I am here because of my father.
She is here because of you.
Stop, stop! Stop! Stop!
Soundwave, would you please?
Sam, do your job.
She'll be safe. I give you my word.
I'll kill you. You have my word.
MORSHOWER: Combatant Commands are now at DEFCON 1.
Approximately 200 Decepticons are now in hiding.
Energon detectors have been triggered
as far away as South America and China.
The U.N. just received an encrypted audio file.
They say it's from the leader of the Autobots.
SENTINEL: Defenders of Earth.
We have come for your natural resources
to rebuild our damaged planet.
When we have transported all we need,
we will leave your world in peace.
For such peace to exist,
you must immediately exile the Autobot rebels you have harbored.
Renounce the rebels.
We await your reply.
MEARING: We'll debrief you in transit.
Yeah, I really don't see how I can be of any help.
I mean, you guys seem pretty busy.
We could just do this another time, I think.
(GASPING IN PAIN)
I have underestimated you at every turn.
You warned us that they were using humans.
And you knew that Sentinel was the key.
Who am I? Hey, you're the expert.
I'm just a walking security risk.
(GASPING IN PAIN)
Are you all right?
No, you're not. You're sweating.
I'm fine. I'm fine.
I'm sweating because I'm nervous.
I'm nervous because you got me in here with this information.
Okay, I'm a Twitter junkie. I blog everything.
I can't keep a secret to save my life.
You wouldn't dare.
That's the truth. I'm telling you.
Director, the Pentagon's calling in 15.
What are you doing?
Nothing. What are you doing?
Get away from me.
It's been a remarkable series of events today at the Capitol.
Just moments ago, legislation was passed
to exile the Autobots
from American shores.
The U.S. military alliance with them
is officially over.
In the words of the House Majority Leader,
the sponsor of today's resolution,
"We cannot in good conscience..."
What? They can't do this.
You gotta tell them. They can't do that.
Okay. It's official. It's a go, people.
These are our allies. The Autobots fought for us. They fought with us.
And where are we now?
Facing an enemy invasion
with an enemy that has the means to deploy countless more.
If there is any more you know,
anything at all about the enemy's intentions,
now is the time to tell.
Autobots have no way of leaving this planet.
And that is where you're wrong.
Its name is the Xanthium.
It brought the second wave of Autobots
and it's been under NASA's care and study ever since.
We linked it with a decommissioned shuttle
to maintain military control until they're gone.
Gonna be 10,000 pounds of torque
on that itsy-bitsy bolt, not 19!
You're gonna risk the lives of all me mates! I'll ball you!
These guys are the Wreckers. They take care of the Xanthium.
We don't let them off the base much, 'cause they're assholes.
You gotta pull that, ya nancy wanker!
It's time to kill him!
I'm just trying to help, you know. Just doing my job.
Just calm down. Leave him alone. This is a human being.
ROADBUSTER: You are ridiculous!
SAM: Is that you?
What up, man?
What are you doing here? (ELECTRONIC WHIRRING)
I retired from the Air Force.
Can you let my hand go?
What the hell was that?
Now I just consult to run interference for them.
ROADBUSTER: Well, you're not helping!
No more combat and aliens shooting at my ass. I got a dream job.
Time to get off this planet.
Kicking the Autobots out. Can you believe this is happening?
Where do you think it's taking them?
Any planet but here.
I wanna talk to whoever's in charge here!
Well, well, well. Charlotte Mearing.
Agent Simmons. Former Agent Simmons.
So I see you survived Washington.
Washington, Egypt, heartbreak. I survive. I will survive.
They're bringing everybody in, kid.
Putting all the intel on the table.
And if you think deporting nine Autobots is gonna solve a damn thing...
It's out of my hands.
Moving up in the world, huh?
Your booty looks excellent.
If you ever say a word to anyone
about what happened that night in Quantico,
I'll cut your heart out.
You already did.
WHEELIE: Sammy, listen to me. Don't let them exile us.
Don't let them take us, Sam.
It's a Decepticon trap.
(SOLEMN INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
LEADFOOT: Check the nitrogen levels. We're booking out of here.
What your leaders say is true. This was all my fault.
I told them whom to trust. I was so wrong.
That doesn't make it your fault.
It just makes you human for a change.
You may lose your faith in us,
but never in yourselves.
(GROANING IN PAIN)
I need to know how you're gonna fight back.
I know this is strategy, I know you're coming back
with reinforcements, something. I know there's a plan.
You can tell me. No other human will ever know.
There is no plan.
If we just do what they want, how are we gonna live with ourselves?
You are my friend, Sam.
You always will be.
But your leaders have spoken.
the fight will be your own.
OPTIMUS: Make it short.
We're loading up.
LEADFOOT: All right, hustle up! We're launching at dawn.
We're gonna do whatever we can. Make it like it was.
You will always be my friend, Sam.
I gotta be going on.
Years from now, they're gonna ask us,
"Where were you when they took over the planet?"
We're gonna say,
"We just stood by and watched."
DYLAN: You should really look at this as a partnership.
You have to stand on the side of progress
if you wanna be a part of history.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER RADIO)
Seven, six, five,
four, three, two,
TECHNICIAN: (ON RADIO) Go ahead and throttle up.
You wanted an answer. You got one.
I always get what I want, Sam. We just needed to be sure.
Sure of what?
That they would go without a fight.
MAN: Say again.
WOMAN: Tracking an incoming object.
We all work for the Decepticons now.
I need your help to track a phone call. There's a man on this phone.
He's the head of their human operations and he has Carly hostage.
I want you to sit down. Don't move.
I'm watching him drive up right now.
The call was placed en route.
I'm hacking into the phone's camera now.
There, that's it. That's a live stream from the camera.
Someplace... Hold on. I can triangulate this.
Okay, it's Chicago cell sites. There, I've got it.
Trump Tower, Chicago. Lower penthouse.
She's done nothing but try to help me,
and I can be there in 15 hours.
EPPS: You're not going alone.
I still got my NEST friends out there.
I'll round them up, we'll find your girlfriend,
we're gonna bring this guy in.
Why are you helping me?
'Cause that asshole killed my friends, too.
They said they were here for our resources, to rebuild their planet.
Yes, but really one resource in particular.
One unique to our planet.
You're very smart.
You see, they can't rebuild without a slave labor force.
How many rocks up there in the universe offer six billion workers?
What are you talking about? We can't transport people.
They're not shipping people. They're shipping their planet here.
CARLY: Oh, my God.
What's Sentinel doing here?
Watch. They're spreading hundreds of pillars around the globe right now.
In just a few hours, they're gonna launch them into orbit
and bring Cybertron into our atmosphere.
The red one there controls the rest.
He triggers that, it starts the whole thing.
Be gone, insect operative. Your work is done.
Your Excellency. He's such a dick.
You want this to happen?
I want to survive. I want 40 more years.
You think I asked for this? I inherited a client.
Yeah, and when Cybertron's here and we're all their slaves,
I guess they'll still need a human leader.
Don't jinx me. You want to survive, you listen to me.
It is time for the slaves of Earth to recognize their masters.
Seal off the city.
(CHANT MUSIC CONTINUES)
Get the dogs outta here now! Get them in the back!
I guess they didn't tell you about this part, did they?
You think I'm at every meeting? (BREATHING HEAVILY)
Look, I'm safe.
They said I was safe.
EPPS: We had a signal earlier.
It's not working.
NEWSCASTER: (ON RADIO) This is a national emergency broadcast.
(SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE)
Chicago has suffered a massive attack.
MAN: Wrong way!
Get out of here! Go back!
There is a ring of alien ships around Chicago.
Our high-range bombers were just knocked out of the sky.
They can't get through enemy air defenses over the city.
Our satellites have been jammed.
We have no way to monitor the enemy's movement.
Our old NEST teams are on stand-down
holding at Grissom Air Force Base.
We're about 10 minutes from the battle zone.
We have Special Forces trying to gain access to the city,
and infantry is staging at the perimeter.
Excuse me, excuse me, it just doesn't make sense!
Can't we get any eyes in there at all?
They keep shooting down our drones.
They want us blind.
But we do have a couple of mini-drones we're gonna try.
Well, whoever's manning these UAV drones,
can we try to redirect them toward Trump Tower?
The kid, Witwickety, was on his way to Chicago.
Said some point-man human op is there for the Decepticons!
Listen, if I know anything, I know this,
that kid is an alien-bad-news magnet.
We came here to find her in the middle of all that?
Are we really going out there, Epps?
I'm not going in there.
No one's going in.
With or without you, I'll find her.
You're gonna get yourself killed, Sam. Is that what you want?
Is that what you want?
You came all the way out here to get yourself killed? Huh?
Listen to what I'm saying.
She's here because of me. Do you understand?
Listen, if you go in this building,
that's if she's even still alive,
there's no way you're gonna be able to reach her!
What do you suggest I do?
I'm sorry, but it's over.
We will kill them all.
LEADFOOT: Wreckers, kill him!
This is going to hurt!
Your leaders will now understand.
Decepticons will never leave your planet alone.
And we needed them to believe we had gone.
For today, in the name of freedom,
we take the battle to them!
I saw your ship blow up!
We were never in the ship! We designed the damn thing, didn't we?
We were hidden in the first booster rocket to separate.
Splashed down back in the Atlantic, just as planned.
We ain't going nowhere.
Yeah, no one's exiling us.
The Autobots are staying right here.
We're gonna help you win this war.
They're surrounding the city to make a fortress
so that no one can see what they're up to inside.
Our only chance is the element of surprise.
I think I know where to look!
Mini-drone is on approach to Trump Tower.
You're telling me Sam's headed into that?
Probably never got close.
So, you can fly this thing, right?
What is that... What is that? What is that? So-so?
So you so-so can fly this. That feels terrible.
We're right behind you.
All right, we're going in!
The city is secure.
The humans cannot stop us.
As the afternoon falls,
the rest of the pillars will reach their launch position.
This is the victory I promised you so many years ago,
where we rebuild Cybertron together!
I have deigned to work with you
that our planet may survive!
I will never work for you!
You would be wise to remember the difference.
DYLAN: I'm so sick of this. I'm just sick of waiting.
Where is she?
Where is she?
You've got some balls.
No! No, no!
Autobots! They're alive!
Decepticons, defend the pillar!
MEGATRON: Raise the bridges! Find them!
You found me.
I'd follow you anywhere.
Form a perimeter! Let's go, let's go!
Well, you're crazy.
What is that? Is that us?
EPPS: This thing's a military UAV.
Stone, check and see if it's still working.
STONE: Yeah, it's still got power.
Flight Control, do you copy?
Can... Can you rotate? Can you do something?
I think we got something.
Epps! We got Epps!
EPPS: Come on, work! Work!
All right, turn the volume up on that!
Can you rotate or something?
Yes, yes! Okay, okay, okay. They can see us.
Chicago is ground zero, do you understand?
Can you hear us? You understand?
Please listen. Sentinel Prime is here
and he has the pillars to his space bridge.
They're on top of a building on Chicago River.
It's owned by Hotchkiss Gould Investments.
Now, the pillar that controls everything is in the southeast cupola.
You've got to destroy the pillar.
You have to shoot down the pillar
or they're going to transport Cybertron here, do you understand?
Do you understand?
Give me a GPS on the building and on that drone! Let's go!
Mensurate those coordinates. Shorten the kill chain.
LENNOX: Guys on the tarmac, five minutes.
The southeast cupola.
We need to move before the fighters spot us.
Wait here until we scout a route ahead.
Ratchet, cover high.
Hey, think we could use that rocket to shoot down the pillar?
We're eight blocks away. We got to get closer to take a shot.
Not closer. Higher. We need a clear line of sight.
And it's across the river. Gonna have a hell of a time trying to sneak up.
We only got one shot.
One shot's all we need.
We got to be able to see around that building from the ground.
Get NSA to send service specs for any cameras in that area.
Maybe some are working.
Traffic lights. ATMs. Anything.
LENNOX: Listen up. You want to hit back?
We're gonna have to wingsuit in.
It's the only way to get close.
I can't promise anyone a ride home, but if you're with me,
the world needs you now.
I'll find my own ride home, sir.
requesting diversionary action to the south of the city.
We're coming north and low. You guys drive them to the east.
Autobot victory! Autobot victory!
EDDIE: That is one scary-ass Decepticon!
They got my trailer. I need that flight tech.
Shockwave can't hunt all of us at once. Wreckers,
we need a diversion.
Let's get some!
You got that right.
Listen, we're gonna circle around to that glass building.
And we'll get high enough to make the rocket shot
while you guys draw his fire.
Wait a minute!
I'm not letting you go out there
without my urban combat prototypes.
We got to go, Que!
They're great inventions for kicking ass!
What are these?
Those are boom-sticks. Armed in 30 seconds.
Grapple gloves, for climbing.
EPPS: Go, go! Move your ass! Move, move!
Move, move! Go, go, go!
Ow, ow, ow!
Let's go! Run!
Hey, hey, hey. Where you going?
No, no, no!
Where you going?
Stop, stop, stop! Don't leave!
You never leave a 'bot behind! Shockwave's coming!
EPPS: Go for the stairs!
Epps, this way!
MAN 1: (ON RADIO) Breaking right.
MAN 2: Bead. Rolling in.
We got another one coming around.
Coming around on the left side,
coming around on the right side.
We're going to use Willis Tower for cover!
Once we make altitude, we jump!
A lot of airplanes out here!
Contact off the nose.
Mayday! I don't think he's gonna make it.
Mayday, mayday! Six-one going down.
Heads up! Heads up!
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
MAN 1: Tally on the left.
MAN 2: Got him.
Time on target: 20 seconds.
Here we go! Here we go!
Keep it tight!
All right, focus, focus, focus.
Threat above tower, six o'clock!
Look out! Breaking right! Breaking right!
MAN 1: Watch out, watch out!
MAN 2: Holy shit!
Look out, look out, look out!
Get them out, get them out, get them out!
Everybody out, out, out!
Jump, jump, jump!
Get out, get out!
PILOT: Now. Get them out now! Get them out now!
SOLDIER: Get separation. Track away, track away!
Hard left! Hard left!
Six hundred feet.
Check your six! Check your six!
He's on our ass! Watch out, watch out!
SOLDIER: Sharp right!
Building dead ahead!
Thread the needle!
Come on, we're high enough!
This is a mother getting up here!
Get your fat ass over here!
Set up the rocket!
29 Bot-busters, 20 piercing D-Bot.
There, the building with the dome.
For our brothers, let's make this trip worth it.
They're shooting at the building!
This is not a good idea.
This is not a good idea.
This building is unstable.
Listen, stop for a second.
If we don't do what we came to do, it doesn't matter, we all die.
Right? That's your target. Come on, man!
I don't even care if the building collapses.
I'm having a heart attack anyway.
The building is going over!
Keep your hands up!
It's okay! It stopped!
SOLDIER 1: Incoming, incoming!
SOLDIER 2: Everybody hide!
Shoot the glass! Jump out the window!
We're gonna die!
Sam, I can't stop!
Shoot the glass!
No, no, no!
Is everybody okay?
SAM: You okay?
What the hell was that?
Driller-bot is thirsty.
This evil thing's looking at me!
It's even got an uglier Decepticon with it!
We have to evac!
(HIGH PITCHED DRILLING)
Sergeant Epps, the stairs are blocked!
Okay. How do we get out of here? Hey! Come on!
Oh, Lord Jesus, let me just get out of this alive.
Move! We got to move!
Why do the Decepticons always get the good shit?
We're about to be eaten, people!
We're gonna die!
Give me your hand!
I'm swinging that way!
Oh, my God!
I'm dropping you on the fire escape!
We gotta move!
I'm coming for you!
(HEROIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
Decepticons around the world,
launch the pillars.
WHEELIE: We are so lost!
BRAINS: Always left out.
It's time to lay down the law.
About to bring some hurt now.
It's starting! You see it?
Where are Sam and Carly?
We'll go this way.
I give you one thing to do,
one thing to do, and you drop the ball on that?
I ain't signed up for all this!
Got aliens blasting at me, running around, chasing me!
I'm ducking through churches and buildings and all that kind of crap!
This is bullshit! I ain't signed up for this, Epps.
I'm trying to keep it together.
What a treat! You and me, alone!
Come on, come on! Run!
Okay. He's after me, not you.
You can't hide, boy!
I just love it when your little insect feet try to run!
I thought you were working for us, boy?
(YELLING IN PAIN)
(CAR ALARM BEEPING)
Target the Decepticon!
Please, you've got to save Sam!
You've got to save him!
What the hell is he doing?
This better work.
I can't see! I can't see!
It's on my hand! Grab the knife! Knife!
Knife, knife, knife, knife, knife!
The bomb's gonna blow! The bomb's gonna...
You human scum!
We got 20 seconds on that bomb!
You see that bomb?
Cut it, cut it, cut it!
I got it!
How long do we have?
I'm gonna kick you!
Cut, cut, cut!
I'm gonna kill...
Well, he's dead.
Hey, Bee's going to run with the rest of the Autobots
and meet us at the edge of the river.
WHEELIE: It sucked me in! There was nothing I could do!
This is a total cluster...
We got to get across the river.
You see that? She said the control pillar
was in that first cupola.
Let's go! Move! Let's move!
MAN: (ON RADIO) Tomahawks are inbound.
ETA: 20 minutes.
I'm in the traffic cameras.
Four Autobots are captured.
Oh, my God. We're helpless.
Whatever's set to happen, with those pulses getting faster,
it's gonna happen soon.
No sign of Optimus.
How do we get these bridges down?
Spread out. Check in there.
Epps, I've been looking for your ass. How you doing?
Retirement is wack. Even worse,
we can't get across the river to that building,
and the Autobots are upstairs, surrounded.
Just pan the camera around, all right?
All right. Pan... Pan right. That's you.
Try getting into the bridge control room.
MEARING: What are they doing? They're just standing there.
Hang on. Dutch, see if you can hack into the bridge.
Sir, SEALs are here.
It's a good day, boys! What do you got?
Got a 10-man SEAL unit, sir, tasked with vectoring Tomahawks.
You're my prisoners!
Take it easy. We surrender.
Get off me.
Get off me!
LENNOX: All right, you're gonna need your 40 Mike-Mikes and frags.
Go full auto.
The vibrations jack up their circuits. Snipers, shoot for the eyes.
All right, your target is up on top of that building, that cupola.
How doomed you are, Autobots.
You simply fail to understand
that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.
Activating the bridge.
They happy about something.
We're in the heart of their ship.
Let's give 'em a little ride.
We gonna screw this ship up.
DUTCH: It's a 128K binary encryption code.
But not for me. I'm in. Bridge down.
The bridge is coming down! Someone's watching over us!
Come on! Let's go!
"Pleasure working with you, Seymour."
I believe you're supposed to say.
Good job, Dutch.
Get off me!
Hurry! They're triggering the pillars!
Prisoners? You're keeping prisoners?
You need to teach them about respect.
This was all business, but now it's personal, do you understand me?
I understand. No prisoners, only trophies.
Bee, I think they're going to kill us.
You, your time is up.
Wait, wait, wait!
We surrendered! We're your prisoners.
Can't we talk this out?
We're all a bunch of good chaps! I mean you no... Ugh!
Why did you...
Good-bye, my old friend.
You're mine now.
Get off me!
I got to help him.
What are you doing?
I got to help him.
Sam, you can't help him.
We... We gave 'em a hell of a run.
(DESCENDING OBJECT WHISTLING)
We did it, Brains! We did it!
Rip this ship apart!
(HEROIC MUSIC PLAYING)
We had a nice run, Brains, you and me.
Yeah, we gonna die.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Okay, baby! You all come with us!
Go! You guys, follow that ground team! Go!
Move, move, move!
Epps, third floor! We're going to 45!
All right. Two snipers, right here!
All right, dock up!
We jump in three minutes!
Set up shop right here.
(SHOCKWAVE SHOUTING ORDERS)
We got five targets and Shockwave right below us.
Stand by to jump!
All right, let's go! Get ready, get ready.
Snipers, take out their eyes.
All right, demo team, let's crank steel.
Don't fire till I tell you!
Good job, kid!
(ROARS IN PAIN)
We got him!
He's on the run!
Mortar that bridge!
It's our world now!
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.