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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Who or Whom? | Learn English Grammar with Friends

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today we're bringing you a classic scene

from friends featuring Ross and Rachel

when they announced that they're having

a baby the topic of conversation shifts

to who came on to whom if you don't know

what this means stick around and watch

this hilarious lesson if you're new here

you will first watch each clip with

subtitles in English then we will teach

you all the most important vocabulary

pronunciation and cultural context

before moving on to the next clip

finally you will test everything you

learned by watching all the clips

without subtitles and answering some

quiz questions well it happened about 6

weeks ago and I had just got home from

work and Ross was already there I guess

he'd been hanging out with joking you're

welcome buddy

yeah thanks and so I had a lot of work

to do in Ross nice guy that he is

offered to help me out and then we had a

little wine we got to talking and next

thing you know out of nowhere Ross comes

on to me that's a little misleading what

is the lie you just told that you came

on to me that's the one that's what you

know what it's not important what's

important is that is that we're having a

baby

is that doesn't matter who came on to

who whom that's right you know you kiss

me first

what what you were begging me to kiss

you you you you sending me signals all

over the place I was sending you signals

oh please okay anyone in this room think

that I would actually send Ross begging

signals please show of hands what people

believe what matters is what happened

okay well so these signals Ross

explaining this to me cuz maybe I need

to be more careful I mean am i sending

you these signals right now you know

what Rachel just just drop it no please

show me how I begged you I can show you

I have it on videotape

it's an expression well it happened

about six weeks ago and I had just

gotten home from work and Ross was

already there I guess he'd been hanging

out with Joey

notice here the use of the past perfect

we use it to describe an action before

another action in the past we usually

use this tense together with a sentence

in the simple past example when we got

to the station our train had already

left this sentence explains an action

before another action in the past if we

used only the simple past we'd say

something like when we got to the

station our train left but in doing so

we would be explaining an action of

following another action instead in the

first example when they got to the

station the train was not there anymore

it had left in the second example they

arrived to the station and the train was

there but left in that moment or shortly

after it left let's look at some other

examples notice the past simple in

orange and the present perfect

ingredient I was tired when I got home

because I had worked all afternoon the

storm damaged the house where she had

lived for all her life I had already

finished the project when she offered to

help can you think of another example

practice your English by writing it in

the comments below she uses and so to

connect this sentence the previous one

as she tells the story but more commonly

this word is an informal alternative to

therefore Phoebe what are you doing here

well I heard you're having a problem

with one of the boys in your class and

so I thought I would just come down here

and sit you both down have a little talk

and make it all okay and then we have a

little wine we got to talking and next

thing you know out of nowhere Ross to me

Rachel says they got to talking this is

like saying we started talking next

thing you know is an expression that we

frequently use to describe an event or

action that happened suddenly

and as a result of another action

move in you start fighting over stupid

game rooms next thing you know you break

up baby are you serious yeah I was just

him there he came and he introduced

himself and the next thing I know would

make out you know then she says that out

of nowhere Ross came on to her out of

nowhere means suddenly unexpectedly

example it started to rain out of

nowhere this whole scene revolves around

the question of who came on to whom to

come on to someone it means to make

sexual advances on another person

there's an anthropologist at school who

totally came on to me during the

interdepartmental potluck dinner as this

is repeated so much in the scene pay

attention to the pronunciation that you

came on to me notice that it kind of

seems to all blend together this is

because of connected speech we reduce

the function words on to and me and

emphasize the content word came so

instead of you came on to me we get you

come on to me so oftentimes you don't

not understand natives because we speak

so fast but rather because you are not

accustomed to connected speech pay

attention to this throughout the scene

and do you want to learn to understand

and master native connected speech

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learn more and sign up that's a little

misleading

what is the lie you just told if

something is misleading it causes

someone to believe something that is not

true in fact Tobias had even produced a

videotape but its brief success was due

to its misleading name once this was

discovered all the ten of the videos

were returned problem

the online description was completely

misleading they said eight slots plus

removable ID to any rational person that

would mean a room for nine cards but

they don't tell you the removable ID

takes up one slot then oh it's important

is that is that we're having a baby is

that doesn't matter who came on to who

whom that's right

hello it's funny that Joey of all people

would point out incorrect grammar he's

right the correct use of whom is a bit

of a mystery to most native speakers who

is used as a subject and whom as an

object to understand this think how we

say he and sometimes him but we never

mix them you say I told him but not I

told he when who is in object position

it should actually be whom in reality

it's not so uncommon to use who as an

object so not saying it as whom is not

actually a serious mistake here are some

examples of whom with whom are you going

to the party who are you going to the

party with the person to whom we spoke

was very helpful the person who he spoke

to was very helpful both of these

sentences could be said with who and few

native speakers would say it's

grammatically incorrect although it's

useful to understand the rule saying

whom can seem awkward and unnatural

unless you're in a very formal situation

or writing an academic essay 99% of the

time who should be your first choice

here's a brilliant scene from the TV

series The Office instead of the

question of when to use who or whom this

is about when to use whoever versus

whomever these words follow the same

grammatical rule we explained for

who and whom just so you know when this

character says to whomever he's using

the word correctly then out of all the

funny points that different workers make

she's the only one who's actually right

about how to use whomever what I really

want honestly Michael is for you to know

it so that you can communicate it to the

people here to your clients to whomever

okay what it's whoever not whomever

that's whomever no whomever is never

actually right not sometimes it's right

Michael is right it's a made-up word

used to trick student jump actually

whomever is the formal version of the

word obviously it's a real word but I

don't know when to use it correctly not

a native speaker I know what's right but

I'm not gonna say because you're all

jerks who didn't come see my band last

night

do you really know which one is correct

I don't know its whom when it's the

object of the Sanderson who when is the

subject that sounds right it sounds

right but is this anyone use it as an

option as an object I use me as an

object you know you kiss me first

what do we begging me to kiss you to beg

it means to ask something in an anxious

or urgent way because you want it very

much example the kids begged their mom

to buy them some candy Howard please I'm

begging you

Roger our group historian as Sheldon

never begged before three times he

begged the Fox Network not to cancel

Firefly back the TNT network to cancel

Babylon 5

and when he got food poisoning at the

Rose Bowl parade he begged a deity he

doesn't believe in to end his life

quickly you-you-you sending me signals

all over the place I was sending you

signals please okay anyone in this room

think that I would actually send Ross

begging signals please show of hands a

signal is a gesture action or sound that

is used convey information or

instructions in this case

Ross is saying that Rachel was doing

things to tell him in an indirect way

that she wanted to have sex with him

example she signaled to her dog to sit

and wait this is an alternative way to

call people to raise their hands to vote

or decide about something example show

of hands who wants pizza and who wants

Chinese you know what Rachel just just

drop it we say drop the subject or

simply drop it so that someone stops

talking about something that annoys you

or upsets you okay look can we just drop

this I'm not gonna smoke again that's

right

because I forbid you to smoke again you

forbid me mm-hmm you know I've flown a

long way to see my loving wife is she

here by the way hey there so every week

we help learners like do you understand

fast speaking natives without getting

lost without missing the jokes and

without subtitles just like she well we

said that thanks to our Channel when he

travels

people are really blown away by how

great his English is and you can improve

your English a lot too all you have to

do is hit that subscribe button and the

bell down below so you don't miss any of

our new lessons no please show me how I

begged you I can't show you I have it on

videotape it's an expression what he

means here is something that as an

English Learner you probably know very

well expressions or idioms in English do

not always have a literal meaning he's

hoping here that they will believe that

to have it on videotape is some kind of

expression that means something else and

not what the phrase actually means it's

not uncommon to hear this as a humorous

excuse people try to make when they say

something they wish they hadn't

at this point of course Rachael gets

really upset a Ross for videotaping her

Ross however has a reason and

explanation for this which you'll see

later Rachel is not something I planned

okay look here's what happened and Joey

you can back me up on this

all right about about a month and a half

ago remember I came to you with a

problem a personal thing what personal

thing about about sex that I hadn't had

sex in months yeah I know you're talking

about

[Applause]

[Music]

hey I have a date tonight it has to go

well okay I'm scared for my health

okay oh oh I got something okay it's

this story that I came up with very

romantic I swear any woman that hears it

they're like putty really well they tell

it to me years ago when I was

backpacking across Western Europe you

were backpacking across Western Europe

have a nice six more months for us I'm

sorry please please you were in Western

Europe and okay look here's what

happened and Joey you can back me up on

this all right about about a month and a

half ago remember I came to you with the

problem he has Joey to back him up here

because he thinks Joey can support what

he's about to say and let the guys know

that he's in fact telling the truth when

you need support from another person you

usually tell them to back you up it's

not just me I mean the scientists and

the tour guides never sit together it's

like that everywhere Joey okay mom back

me up here will you work the the waiters

eat with the waiters right and the chefs

eat with the other chefs right I eat by

myself in the alley because everybody

hates me then the way Ross says he came

to joy with a problem he means that he

turned to joy for help by the way did

you notice how Ross pronounced the word

can here neeta's rarely fully pronounced

can in normal speech rather it reduces

to kin and joy you can back me up on

this and joy you can back me up on this

check out these other examples from TV

series living in a van for six years

they can wait a little longer don't can

I get you anything you can go I'll get

the information no I have a date tonight

it has to go well okay I'm scared for my

health

okay

oh I got something this is what we say

when an idea has just come to us I have

to finish this lesson then I highly

recommend you check out this playlist

featuring all of our lessons with Rachel

and Ross from friends okay it's a story

that I came up with very romantic I

swear any woman that hears if they're

like putty to come up with something

means to invent something or think of

something such as an idea or plan he

said Joey you stink at lyin what am i

God don't worry we'll come up with a

good lie I'll help you practice putty is

a soft malleable substance that is used

for various purposes in construction

however if we say someone is like putty

it means that they are easily influenced

or manipulated much like putty is easily

molded in one's hands so basically what

Joey means here is that after women hear

this story

he becomes irresistible to them and they

will do whatever he wants

years ago when I was backpacking across

Western Europe you were backpacking

across Western Europe a backpack is a

large bag used to carry things on your

back as a verb to backpack means to

travel while carrying your clothes and

other things that you need in a backpack

example we backpacked around Thailand

notice the preposition this verb takes

Joey says a cross but you can also say

through or around Europe although Joey

has found that this made of story can be

useful for seducing women Ross doesn't

have much success with it you know a few

years ago actually I was backpacking

across Western Europe really mm-hmm wait

it gets better

yeah I was in Barcelona I studied for a

year in Barcelona

[Music]

anyway um so I was um I was hiking I

love hiking

that's great

I was hiking along the foothills of

mount tibidabo I think it stupid dog

okay do you want to tell the story show

me how you did it no I don't know one

who how long since you seen a girl naked

I was backpacking across Western Europe

I'm not feeling it try this do what I do

when I'm preparing for an audition okay

I'll set you up with my video camera and

you can record yourself and and see what

you're doing wrong I'll try that all

right now you're all set up you're good

to go just hit record all right good

luck

hello Oh Ross but thank god you're here

you have to help me were you just

talking to yourself that's less

embarrassing yes yes I was so when she

came in I got distracted and totally

forgot about the camera it kept rolling

and recorded everything I wanted to see

it what clearly you don't want people to

see this tape now I don't want people to

see this tape either but you so badly

don't want people to see it that it

makes I want to see it do you see are we

watching the tape or not I don't want

people to see it for your sake oh I

don't believe you I think you don't want

them to see you begging me Rachel please

Oh a little preview

fine but I want the record to show that

I tried to take the high road because in

about five minutes I'm gonna be saying

so when she came in I got distracted and

totally forgot about the camera it kept

rolling and recorded everything when you

say that a camera is rolling you mean

that it's recording

keep it rolling as a common alternative

way you can say it keep recording now I

don't want people to see this tape

either but you so badly don't want

people to see it that it makes I want to

see it do you see do you see means do

you understand this is funny because she

is using this rather poetically as she

said the literal meaning of see a couple

times before and badly usually

collocates with want to add emphasis to

that verb although badly is the correct

form of this word when used in this way

as an adverb many people tend to use the

adjective form bad compare I want to go

back home so badly with God if you want

a baby so bad just go steal it I don't

want people to see it for your sake when

you do something for someone's sake you

do it in order to benefit help or bring

an advantage to someone Roz is saying

that he doesn't want to show the guys

the tape to keep her from showing she's

actually wrong in this example they were

very unhappily married but kept up

appearances for the sake of their

children sometimes we say for the sake

of God or for God's sake as an

exclamation joy for God's sake go to

work

fine but I want the record to show that

I tried to take the high road it caused

in about five minutes I'm gonna be

saying if someone takes the high road

they choose the course of action which

is the most moral or acceptable and

which is least likely to harm or upset

other people okay but imagine I mean we

should before you cross him you know

what I'll only look better if I take the

high road you know help out backstage

let him have his moment

so we we both wanted to interesting move

anyway probably worked out for the best

oh yeah sure

train about 10 seconds you're gonna see

him kiss me and in about five seconds

you're gonna see why Rasta Knight ever

tell you about the time that I went

backpacking through Western Europe

okay ready to see some beggin you came

on to Ross what well I'm so happy what

are you talking about you used the

Europe story

that's the magic story you use when you

want to have sex story how do you know

about that story I heard it from my

friend Irene who heard it from some guy

some guy

she told me that his name was Ken Adams

you

well it happened about six weeks ago and

I had just gotten home from work and

Ross was already there I guess he'd been

hanging out with Joey you're welcome

buddy

yeah thanks and so I had a lot of work

to do and Ross nice guy that he is

offered to help me out and then we had a

little wine we got to talking and next

thing you know out of nowhere Ross comes

on to me that's a little misleading

what is the lie you just told that you

came on to me that's the one that's what

you know what it's not important oh it's

important is that that we're having a

baby is that doesn't matter who came on

to who boom that's right you know you

kiss me first what what you were begging

me to kiss you you you you sending me

signals all over the place I was sending

you signals please okay anyone in this

room think that I would actually send

Ross begging signals please show of

hands yeah it doesn't matter it doesn't

matter what people believe what matters

is what happened okay well so these

signals Ross explain this to me cuz

maybe I need to be more careful I mean

am i sending you these signals right now

you know what Rachel just just drop

[Music]

no please show me how I begged you I can

show you I have it on videotape

it's an expression rachel is not

something I planned okay look here's

what happened and Joey you can back me

up on this all right about about a month

and a half ago remember I came to you

with a problem a personal thing what

personal thing

about about sex that I hadn't had sex in

months

yeah I know what you're talking about

[Applause]

[Music]

Hey I have a date tonight it has to go

well okay I'm scared for my health

okay oh I got something okay it's this

story that I came up with very romantic

I swear any woman that hears it they're

like putty really well they tell it to

me years ago when I was backpacking

across Western Europe you were

backpacking across Western Europe have a

nice six more months for us I'm sorry

please please you were in Western Europe

and so when she came in I got distracted

and totally forgot about the camera

it kept rolling and recorded everything

I wanted to see it what clearly you

don't want people to see this tape now I

don't want people to see this tape

either but you so badly don't want

people to see it that it makes me I want

to see it do you see are we watching the

tape or not I don't want people to see

it for your sake oh I don't believe you

I think you don't want them to see you

begging me Rachel please a little

preview

fine but I want the record to show that

I tried to take the high road because in

about five minutes I'm gonna be saying

so we we both wanted to interesting

anyway probably worked out for the best

yeah sure

train about ten seconds you're gonna see

him kiss me and in about five seconds

you're gonna see why roster day ever

tell you about the time that I went

backpacking through Western Europe

okay ready to see some beggin oh you

came on the Ross

what well I'm so happy what are you

talking about you use the Europe story

that's the magic story you use when you

want to have sex how do you know about

that story I heard it from my friend

Irene who heard it from some guy some

guy

she told me that his name was Ken Adams

right I hope you have an awesome time

today learned a ton and now that you

know the difference between who and whom

maybe you want to check out some of our

other lessons teaching you about English

grammar now it's time to go beyond the

classroom and live your English oh yeah

The Description of Who or Whom? | Learn English Grammar with Friends