Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Uthodurn | Critical Role | Campaign 2, Episode 73 - Live From Indianapolis!

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[cheering]

BRIAN: What's up, motherfuckers?!

[cheering]

BRIAN: In celebration of my favorite television show

sadly coming to an end [laughter]

my costume this year is a joke

for exactly 23% of our audience.

[cheering]

Here's some of the names that were thrown around

backstage just now: Janky Alexander,

[laughter]

Kat Von D Minus. [laughter]

The cool thing about this outfit is

every tattoo leads to a different clue

about why my parents didn't love me as a child.

[laughter] AUDIENCE MEMBER: We love you, Brian!

BRIAN: I love you too, goddamn it.

[cheering]

I look like if Jared Leto's Joker

auditioned for John Wick (laughs).

I feel like...

All right, all right.

Welcome to Critical Role Live at Gen Con.

[cheering]

I had this wig made from Laura's discarded hair.

Just kidding, every week before the show

I clip a little bit of it off and put it in a Ziploc.

Hey, at intermission, if you didn't already,

say hi to Tal and everybody in our crew

that's working at the merch booth.

They will have stuff for sale still

during intermission.

Before we bring out the cast, we like to ask a few things

of everybody that's in attendance at the live show

so you can have the best experience

and so the folks at home watching

can have the best experience.

We are live broadcasting this and it will available on

everywhere that our shit ends up available, so

outside of the occasional picture or two,

there's no reason to have your phone up

filming what's happening because we have

much better cameras than your phone.

And God forbid you're one of those people

that goes to a concert or something and films with an iPad!

[laughter]

[booing]

Get your fucking iPads out of here, man.

If I see it, it's over.

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Fuck him up, Brian!

BRIAN: I will fuck him up, dude. Look at this shit.

[cheering]

Take anybody right now. [laughter]

Also, there's going to be a lot of super fun stuff

that happens tonight.

Something that isn't fun is when people shout suggestions,

rules, jokes they think are funny

at the players while we're playing.

It's not very fun and most of the jokes are pretty bad.

Take it from someone who knows.

Be respectful of the people around you

and of the folks at home and to not distract them

because, let's be honest,

they all have very short attention spans.

[laughter]

Let's see, anything else?

Someone wanted me to shout them out, but I'm not going to.

Yeah, we are going to have an intermission

and you can use the restroom then

because, as you guys remember, in this theater,

the seats are creaky as fuck!

So try to minimize your getting up

and sitting down if you can because it's like

someone's stabbing a frog, like every third thing.

It's like the craziest thing.

Last but not least, don't forget to love each other.

Respect-- [cheering]

Respect everybody around you.

If someone has too much to drink,

you know, just knock them out, let them sleep it off

until the show's over.

Just be respectful to everybody around you and

I know it's dark and if you're getting up

and moving around and stuff, also think about

all of our friends that are in cosplay with

expensive and delicate items,

unlike the fucking outfit I'm wearing right now.

Without further ado,

[cheering]

I would like to introduce the cast of Critical Role.

Travis Willingham.

[cheering] ♪ Role, Critical, Critical

Role, Critical, Critical

Role, Critical, Critical

Role, Critical, Critical

Role, Critical

BRIAN: Marisha Ray! ♪ Role, Critical, Critical

Role, Critical, Critical

Role, Critical

The adventure begins

BRIAN: Liam O'BrienThey were always beside you

Your nerdy best friends

And the DM to guide you

And they rise from the flames for the battles ahead

Villains beware 'cause you're

♪ 'Bout to be deadBRIAN: Taliesin Jaffe!

(dramatic music) [Cheering]

They got magic and flair

They got falchions and cunning

They don't see over there

BRIAN: Laura Bailey! ♪ There's a monster incoming

Inspiration is waiting

Rise up, don't think twice

Put your fate in your hands

Take a chance, roll the dice

Roll the dice

Critical

BRIAN: Sam Riegel! ♪ Role, Critical, Role

Can you answer the call? ♪

Dig in deep in your soul

As the legend unfolds

Now it's your turn, your turn, your turn

To roll

[cheering]

BRIAN: The only person who can save us all,

Matthew Mercer!

[cheering]

Role, Critical, Critical

Role, Critical, Critical

Role, Critical, Critical

Role, Critical, Critical

Role, Critical, Critical

Role, Critical, Critical

Role, Critical, Critical

[cheering]

[laughter]

MATT: So... [cheering]

So as you can tell, we all agreed to one, singular theme.

[laughter]

SAM: What happened, guys?

I thought, I thought you guys said to just be fabulous and,

and expressive and,

I think I read the wrong email.

[laughter]

MATT: No, Sam, I think we all read the wrong email.

I think you got it very right.

[laughter]

MATT: Welcome, everyone, to Critical Role.

[cheering]

[cheering]

[cheering]

[cheering]

[cheering]

[cheering]

MATT: Where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors

sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

TRAVIS: We play Dungeons & Dragons! [cheering]

MATT: (laughs) This is so insane. (laughs)

What's great, too, is with the lights on us,

all we see is darkness and so it's very Eldritch horror.

It's just a wall of voices. TALIESIN: Just the two lights.

MATT: And the two beaming lights of-- it's amazing.

So welcome, welcome to us live here in Indianapolis.

Gen Con. Thank you all so much for coming.

Super excited tonight.

We have some quick announcements to get through,

so bear with us.

First and foremost (laughs),

our sponsor for the evening

and have been our sponsor and friend

for the entirety of Campaign Two, D&D Beyond!

TRAVIS: D&D Beyond! [cheering]

MATT: Sam?

SAM: Guys, the election for D&D Beyond president

closes tonight at intermission,

so head on over to D&D Beyond to cast your vote

for me before it's too late.

Get special rewards just for voting.

You can also vote here at the theater.

I think there's kiosks set up or you can go to

D&DBeyond.link/CRelection.

I will pay anyone who votes for me in this theater $50.

[laughter and cheering]

If I win.

And to celebrate the end of the election,

I thought I'd just do a throwback and sing

that classic song that we all love

[cheering] for you guys.

He had the perfect warlock

[cheering]

MARISHA: Oh, I'm so sorry!

[cheering]

SAM: ♪ His falchion and supplies

But he decided to mess with Uk'otoa

And consumed too many eyes

He can click open the website

He heard about on Critical Role

But he won't find any stats at all

And he's even weaker than before

[laughter]

F-J-O-R-D

Fjord, the feeble orc

F-J-O-R-D

Once a warlock, now a dork

He's got no magic, he's got no sword

And he lost that Southern drawl

F-J-O-R-D, F-J-O-R-D

Travis: ♪ Doodoo doodoo doodoo

Fjord, the feeble orc

[laughter and applause]

MATT: Thank you, Sam.

SAM: Sure.

MATT: So D&D Beyond is an online app

where you can make and build all your D&D characters.

(laughs) They're awesome sponsors.

We should let you know about what they do.

Thank you, and thank you, Sam.

All right.

Also, quick thanks to our friends at The Rook and the Raven,

who you've heard us mention before on the show.

[cheering]

Who provided some great giveaways

for a lot of the folks here in attendance.

Thanks to them for all their continued support.

They're amazing.

If you have a chance, check out their stuff

online or possibly here at the con.

Next up, on Monday, August 5th,

Between the Sheets will make its triumphant return

to our channel here at Critical Role's Twitch.

[cheering]

7PM Pacific.

We welcome the wonderful musician, writer,

and just all around badass Amanda Palmer.

[cheering and applause]

One of my favorite creatives for well over a decade

and it's just a dream to have even had her

be involved and this in an incredible interview,

so don't miss it.

It will be on VOD immediately for Twitch channel subscribers

and will be available on YouTube the following Wednesday.

So keep an eye out for it.

For those who haven't seen,

Taliesin's Call of Cthulhu one-shot.

[cheering]

The Shadow of the Crystal Palace in which,

I mean, you did an amazing job.

TALIESIN: Thank you. MATT: (laughs)

Featuring Marisha Ray, Erika Ishii,

who's out there in the audience somewhere,

Liam O'Brien, Phil LaMarr, wonderful, loving friend,

Travis Willingham here, Ashly Burch,

also from which you got to see here last year.

[cheering]

It's on our YouTube and Twitch channel,

so if you haven't had a chance,

check it out after this show and possibly after the con,

go do so, because it's pretty badass.

Also, just a reminder,

there is no Wyrmwood giveaway tonight.

We are just here to enjoy the experience

of our friends of the internet and here in person, so.

[cheering]

So that being the case.

Let's go ahead and jump in to tonight's episode of

Critical Role. [cheering]

(water bubbling)

(thunder)

(explosion)

Role, Critical, Critical

Role, Critical, Critical

Role, Critical, Critical

Role, Critical, Critical

Role, Critical, Critical

Roll the dice, roll the dice

The adventure begins

They were always beside you

Your nerdy best friends

And the DM to guide you

And they rise from the flames for the battles ahead

Villains beware 'cause you're 'bout to be dead

(dramatic music)

They got magic and flair

They got falchions and cunning

They don't see over there

There's a monster incoming

Inspiration is waiting, rise up, don't think twice

Put your fate in your hands

Take a chance, roll the dice

Role, Critical, Critical

Role, Critical, Critical

Role, Critical, Critical

Role, Critical

Can you answer the call? ♪

Dig in deep in your soul

As the legends unfold

Now it's your turn, your turn, your turn

To roll

(flames burning)

(dragon roaring)

[cheering]

[cheering]

[cheering]

MATT: So that one of the most chills-inducing

experiences of my life (laughs).

TRAVIS: Shit. LAURA: Wow.

TALIESIN: And that was the last thing he ever heard.

MATT: I know.

All right, so.

[laughter]

Last we left off, the Mighty Nein,

after sending some friends and family to safety

in Nicodranas, made their way to the Greying Wildlands

in search of answers regarding both

the fractured halves of this blade

that had been gathered across their adventures

and possibly these visions that had come

through the Wildmother to Caduceus Clay.

Upon seeking another remnant of the Raven Queen's

historical pact with the Wildmother,

you made your way towards Kravaraad, the volcanic mountain,

to Cinderrest Sanctum, or as you know it,

as the Burning Lodge, amongst the Clay family,

to meet the Dust family.

While you were here, you learned a bit

of the history of this blade, and the individual,

Dulgrim Smeltborne, who apparently

still resides in the city of Uthodurn.

As you spent the evening there,

visions came to Fjord of his,

I don't know what you would call it.

Faithful?

Not at all.

A dark entity known as Uk'otoa,

in which you had fallen into a pact with long ago--

[laughter] That's awesome.

[cheering]

Who is very unhappy

that you had absconded with the third and final

means of unsealing his current fate,

and showed that the power you had been granted

can indeed be taken away.

You, however, in the face of this challenge,

placed your own blade into your chest,

played essentially chicken with this entity,

and when it wasn't going your way,

threw your pact blade into

the actual molten center of the Cinderrest Sanctum.

[cheering]

Seemingly now absolved of your pact,

powerless compared to your previous travels,

you came forward with your friends

about your current predicament.

As you gathered various items of support,

you all sought for more answers,

seeking this Dulgrim, possible elements

of the refined residuum that may be connected

to Caduceus Clay's vision,

and leaving the mountain into the freshly snow-set

mountainsides of the Flotket Alps,

began traveling southwest, towards the city of Uthodurn.

So Mighty Nein,

how would you like to progress?

SAM: Uh...

[laughter]

LAURA: Are we outside of the entrance already?

Is it like, we're in the snow?

MATT: You guys were just stepping out

and where there's the fresh snowfall,

the storm that came last night, seemed to have past.

Still gray sky, but there's a fresh snowfall

that has come across the Alps.

LAURA: All right, how do we get there?

SAM: Yes, did anyone ask for directions

before we left the Kiln?

MARISHA: Well, we have a map. TALIESIN: We do have a map.

SAM: Oh, we have a map? MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: Great, let's just follow it and go tell Laura Dern.

MARISHA: Yeah. [laughter]

TALIESIN: I suppose we'll check to make sure

we're taking the safest path, too,

if there's anything we should be looking out for.

MATT: Okay. LAURA: There's a path

marked on the map?

MATT: There isn't so much a path marked,

but there are positions across it.

LAURA: It looks fairly obvious looking at that

where we should go for sure.

TRAVIS: We are here.

We're going there.

Mountains.

MARISHA: So there's only two mountains in the way.

That's nothing-- look at all these mountains.

SAM: Can we go between the mountains?

TRAVIS: It specifically says do not go

between the mountains.

SAM: That accent is super weird.

TRAVIS: What are you talking about? [laughter]

SAM: You talk funny.

LIAM: Do the mountains block the direct route

if we were to set out on foot?

MATT: If you want to go ahead and take a look

to the direction you're currently--

LAURA: I'm just going to run back inside really fast, okay?

I'll be right back.

And I'm going to go ask for directions.

[laughter]

MARISHA: I'm going to follow Jester. TALIESIN: Yeah.

MARISHA: I'm going to follow Jester.

LAURA: Yeah, if you could just write them down

because I'm kind of bad at remembering things.

TALIESIN: Anything we may run into

if there's anything particularly dangerous.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: All right, so you rush back in.

You go ahead and see Jeramess Dust is currently sitting down

and looks like enjoying some sort of a morning coffee.

Some sort of hot beverage, blowing it off,

and as you approach from the entryway tunnels

that lead you deep into the sanctum

and she looks up and goes, "Oh, hello, again."

LAURA: It was a really, we were there and back,

or, how do we get there?

MATT: "You go southwest.

"Eventually look for

"a series of small towers and--"

LAURA: Just southwest?

MATT: "Yeah."

[laughter]

LAURA: Is there a path or a road or how do you--

MATT: "There is when there isn't fresh snowfall

"because that covers the path, but."

LAURA: That makes sense.

Okay. MATT: "Put it this way.

"When you look out and you go straight

"to where the southwest is,

"the first mountain you see in your way,

"go around the left side.

"The next mountain you see, go around the right side."

LAURA: That's perfect, that's all we need.

MATT: "Past there, you might find it.

"Just keep your eyes peeled."

MARISHA: What kind of fiends or beasts might we encounter?

Anything that you know of?

MATT: "There's all sorts of creatures that call the Alps home.

"There's wolves, winter wolves, dire wolves--"

MARISHA: Lots of wolves.

MATT: "There's the orcs of Boroftkrah

"and the various other wandering Rime Plains orcs

"that come up here for hunting

"because of the better game up here in the mountains."

MARISHA: Do they hunt the wolves?

MATT: "Probably and wargs, too, they bring down

"from the path south of here.

"Also, there's all sorts of things

"that may be wandering from the Crystalsands and--

"just try your best to not be seen."

LAURA: Oh, hm, okay, we're pretty stealthy.

MATT: "Good, good, you might survive."

MARISHA: What do these towers look like?

We know it's an elven city, are they?

MATT: "It's elf and dwarf, actually."

MARISHA: Oh, sorry, sorry.

MATT: "It's all right, but you see,

"around the base of the mountain,

"there's a cluster of them about maybe

"half a mile across and you'll see a

"big, old roof in the center.

"That's probably where you're going.

LAURA: Caleb!

Where is southwest?

LIAM: It's that way.

LAURA: Then that's where we're going.

[laughter]

MARISHA: So we're going to get to the first mountain

and we're going to take a right.

LAURA: No, a left. LIAM: I thought it was a--

MARISHA: Shit!

[laughter]

Okay, we're going to get to the first mountain,

we're going to take a left,

and then we're going to get to the second mountain

and then we're going to take a right.

LIAM: Right, so we go lefty-loosey, then righty-tighty,

and then we are there. TALIESIN: Right.

TRAVIS: And then towers.

SAM: Easiest adventure we've ever gone on.

TRAVIS: No problem. SAM: Let's go!

MATT: All right. LAURA: Stealthily!

MATT: All right, first and foremost,

I need a marching order from you guys.

TRAVIS: I'm in the back.

[laughter]

MATT: All right, we got Fjord in the back.

LAURA: Actually, Fjord, maybe in the middle,

because if something comes up from behind us.

LIAM: As the former weakest person in this group--

[laughter]

SAM: Caleb, Caleb, you're very strong!

LIAM: I also used to think the rear was the ideal position,

but maybe second to last or possibly third to last

or maybe all of us around you in a protective ring.

[laughter]

MARISHA: You have your shield, right?

TRAVIS: I do, I have a shield, yes, and--

MARISHA: Have you ever fought with a shield before?

TRAVIS: No. MARISHA: All right.

TALIESIN: You need to make a Caleb-Fjord hot pocket.

It's not quite a sandwich, it's like a--

MARISHA: Maybe we should double layer it,

you know, like a, yeah, okay.

LIAM: What are we talking about?

TALIESIN: I'll take front then.

LAURA: I'll take back. TALIESIN: All right.

LAURA: There you go.

MATT: All right, so we have Caduceus up front.

SAM: I'll go in the front with Ducey.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: I'll be behind Nott.

MATT: Where are you, Beauregard?

MARISHA: Behind Nott.

MATT: Behind them? MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: We have at the front,

we have Caduceus and Nott up front,

behind them, we have Beauregard,

in the center, we have Fjord, and then behind them

we have Caleb and Jester.

LAURA: Sounds perfect.

TRAVIS: ♪ Hot Pocket

[laughter]

MATT: I don't think we can clear that.

LIAM: I think that's Goth Pocket.

TALIESIN: Goth Pocket. TRAVIS: Goth Pocket, yes.

MATT: All righty, so-- SAM: We're a Lock Pocket?

(Marisha laughs) SAM: Nope.

MATT: Who is guiding the direction of this?

You're at the front?

SAM: I guess I am?

MATT: Who's taking point in guiding the group

is what I'm asking. SAM: Yeah, Caduceus and I.

TALIESIN: Yeah. MATT: All right.

Either one of you make a nature check with advantage

or both of you take one separately.

TRAVIS: First roll, come on!

TALIESIN: You with nature check, advantage,

because my nature's terrible. LAURA: We should be stealthy.

We were warned not to be so--

SAM: With advantage?

Thank god, that's cocked.

Ooh, shitty, shitty, shitty bang-bang.

[laughter]

11.

MATT: 11, all righty, all righty.

TALIESIN: That was, yeah, you don't even want to know.

I just took a fun roll, no.

MARISHA: What?

TRAVIS: We're fucked.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Nott continues to guide you guys

around the same lake that you had previously traversed,

keeping an eye on the sky above.

Beau, go ahead and make a perception check

just to keep looking above in the vicinity around you.

MARISHA: Okay, yeah.

14. MATT: 14, good, all right.

Continuing forward, the wind isn't terribly strong,

but it does pick up in gusts here and there and

(whooshes) blows past a moment.

Kind of swelling on occasion.

The ice and snow-capped trees eventually consume the horizon

as you lower down from the base of the mountain

into the central forest heading across

towards the one mountain to the southwest

that Caleb had pointed out.

Right as you begin to lose vision,

you begin to see clusters moving briefly.

Beauregard keeping a close eye out

and Caduceus also keenly aware that

what looks almost like slow avalanches

and sections moving separately,

you just barely squint your eyes

and you can see instead they are small clusters

of wild white bison moving across the exterior

of the distant mountain,

causing this optical illusion effect.

But you keep close to yourselves for warmth

and dive under the canopy of the forest, continuing onward.

The first hour

seems to go by fine.

A couple more hours, you guys eventually make it

towards the base of the first mountain,

at least you begin to see the treeline break apart,

you can see where it begins to ascend up the side

of that rocky cliff.

MARISHA: We forgot to ask how long of a journey this was.

SAM: They told us it was like a day, day-and-a-half.

MARISHA: Oh. SAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: All right, so are you guys continuing

to move stealthily by the way?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: That does slow your travel.

So it might take a little longer

than a day-and-a-half stealthily.

LAURA: I think stealthy is better, though, right?

TRAVIS: We're leaving tracks behind us, yes?

Quite a few?

LAURA: No, I'm behind us.

I'm using my tail to brush them as we walk.

[laughter]

MATT: Roll a stealth check to see how well you're doing.

TALIESIN: I believe in you.

LAURA: Which one?

TALIESIN: Yeah. SAM: (like Jester) The cute one.

LAURA: Stealth, 17.

MATT: Okay, you think you're doing an all right job

covering some of the tracks.

Doesn't look like nobody walked through.

Now it just looks like one weird, drunk worm

has been pushing its way through the snow.

[laughter]

LAURA: Hey, man, a worm is better than a group of people.

MATT: Could be helpful, we'll see.

TRAVIS: Fuck that.

(laughter)

MATT: Continuing onward, for the next few hours,

you guys are turning right or left

against the first mountain you come across?

TALIESIN: Left.

MATT: All right, look at that.

You got a memory, that's good.

Curving around the base.

Are you staying within the treeline

or are you coasting up on the side of the mountain?

MARISHA: Let me scout it real quick, how about that?

SAM: Oh, yeah, sure.

MARISHA: I'll go up the mountain a little bit

and see if I can scale a tree, get a viewpoint.

MATT: Sure, all right, go ahead and make an athletics check.

MARISHA: Wait, you don't still have your bird, right?

Is your cat a bird or is your cat a cat?

LIAM: It's always a cat.

MARISHA: But, okay, you know what I mean.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it changes sometimes.

Where's the octopus? LIAM: There is a--

who said that?

[laughter]

MARISHA: He lost his powers, he's not deaf.

LIAM: There is a cat shaped like a cat

sitting next to you on the ground now, so,

that's what you got.

MARISHA: All right. I scale the tree.

MATT: Athletics or acrobats, your choice,

since the trees here are pretty close together.

MARISHA: Acrobatics. MATT: Go for it.

TRAVIS: Wow, that was a cool roll.

Yo!

MARISHA: 27. SAM: Whoa.

[cheering]

MATT: Yeah, like an Olympic gymnast,

leaping from tree branch to tree branch,

you watch as Beau quickly ascends to the top of the tree.

As you poke out past the canopy and look ahead, you can see

along the mountainside, there are clusters of trees.

This one mountain isn't too much of a spire-like.

It tends to break off towards the top

and there's a bit of a roundedness to its edge there.

There looks to be some sort of a watchtower

built on the top of it.

You're not sure of the quality or if it's manned or not,

but that's towards the peak of the mountain.

MARISHA: Can I tell what it's made out of?

Is it like a wooden? MATT: At this distance?

MARISHA: Wooden watchtower?

MATT: Make a perception check to see

if you can make out any details,

because it's quite a ways away from you.

It's probably like-- (Travis groans)

MARISHA: Natural one!

MATT: As you're picking upward,

one of the frost zephyr birds flies by

and poops right in your eye

[laughter] and you're like (groans)

and your eyes just have a hard time focusing

once you wipe it free and, unfortunately, at this point,

everything just looks like it's covered in snow

and you're stinging really bad.

MARISHA: Fucking birds.

I'm glad Thaddeus is gone. [laughter]

MATT: You swear you heard it (hooting).

[laughter]

LIAM: All birds are assholes.

MATT: As a bird owner, kind of.

I love them, they're assholes.

MARISHA: All right, I can see the--

oh, I go back down to the group.

I don't know if that's, do I need to?

MATT: After a natural one, go ahead and roll

another acrobatics check.

With disadvantage.

[laughter]

TRAVIS: You got shit in your eye.

LIAM: Caleb has been watching through Frumpkin

all this time as well. MARISHA: Shit in my eye

doesn't affect my dope abs, though.

[laughter]

TRAVIS: Hey! MARISHA: It's still good.

19. MATT: Yeah, see,

it doesn't affect you at all.

You were fine. MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: Almost without having to use your vision

and as much as it's stinging and blinking,

you manage to leap down without issue,

making your way to the base.

Beau comes down with this streak of white

on one side of the face. SAM: Oh, what happened?

MARISHA: So there's a tower up ahead

and I think, like a fucked up mountain.

Probably the mountain we're going.

Looks like a watchtower.

Jester?

LAURA: Hmm?

MARISHA: Or Caduceus, do either one of you have a wet wipe?

[laughter]

LAURA: I use the bottom of my sleeve.

MARISHA: Thank you. LAURA: You're welcome.

MARISHA: It looks like some sort of watchtower.

I don't know, I was just trying to get a--

SAM: Is that the tower that we are looking for?

MARISHA: Nah.

LIAM: So we stick to the trees then.

SAM: Okay. MATT: All right.

You head to the left,

continue around the base of the mountain.

Are you guys going stealthily?

LAURA: Mm-hm. SAM: Sure.

MATT: Everyone make a stealth check, please.

TRAVIS: You moved up and down that mountain incredibly well.

How long does it take to learn to do that?

[laughter]

SAM: Fjord, if you want, Fjord,

I could teach you how to use a crossbow.

My five-year-old can do it.

[laughter]

[cheering]

TRAVIS: That would be lovely, thank you.

MARISHA: I gotcha, Captain, I got your back.

I just, you know, I just.

MATT: Stealth checks around the table.

SAM: 27. MATT: 27, Jester?

LAURA: Seven. MATT: Seven.

TALIESIN: 12. MATT: 12.

TRAVIS: 13. MARISHA: 21.

LIAM: Also seven. SAM: Ooh.

TALIESIN: We don't have Pass Without a Trace, so.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: I did okay. SAM: It's on.

LAURA: Yeah, I didn't cast it.

TRAVIS: No, no, it's not on, no, no.

MATT: All right, so.

As you guys dive into the treeline,

making your way around the edge of the mountain,

you get probably around three-quarters of the path

before you begin to head back in that straight line

through the mountain range that leads you

in the direction you were told there would be.

As you're moving forward, Caduceus,

you can see

a couple of prints in the snow directly ahead.

Small, clustered, forward, quadrupedal.

TALIESIN: How close are we to the prints?

MATT: You see them about 30 feet ahead of you

and to the right.

TALIESIN: I'm going to take a long look around.

I'm going to stop everybody and take a long look around

to see if there's anything waiting to pounce.

MATT: Make a perception check. TALIESIN: All right.

These I'm good at.

Ah, that's better, 22.

MATT: Glancing a little ways ahead,

you can see two wolves,

white-gray fur.

Relatively large comparison to a regular wolf.

Not massive, but maybe, I'd say,

nine or so feet from snout to rear.

SAM: That's big.

MATT: There's two of them in a pair,

just making their way through carefully,

through the center of the forest.

They don't seem to notice your presence yet.

They're about a hundred feet ahead of you.

TALIESIN: They're going to the right?

They're heading their own direction?

MATT: They were. TALIESIN: Oh no.

Have they noticed us?

MATT: One of them seems to be going (sniffs)

and glances over in your direction.

TALIESIN: Then I'm going to say,

in the manner that one can talk to wolves:

I really don't recommend this.

I know this looks easy, but this is going to end so badly.

[laughter]

MATT: You watch as it stops and then gets low.

It seems to, as it gets low,

vanish beneath one of the little snowbanks

and you lose sight of where it may be.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: The other one follows suit,

curving around

in a pincer formation to the left.

Then also dips down below one of the nearby forest banks

where the small hill rises up

and you don't see it emerge from the other side of the hill.

You've now lost sight of both of the wolves.

TALIESIN: There's at least two wolves currently circling us

and they're going to make an attempt to eat us,

at least two, possibly more.

I guess get ready, kids.

TRAVIS: Are you sure that's not just behavior

that lets us pass?

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

MARISHA: Should we run?

Is running a good idea?

TALIESIN: I think flank and prepare.

MARISHA: Okay.

TALIESIN: Let's make a circle.

LAURA: Circle up around Fjord.

SAM: And Caleb. [laughter]

LIAM: These are regular-sized wolves.

I think I will be on the outside, it is all right.

TALIESIN: They're about nine-- they're pretty big.

LIAM: They are big ones?

TALIESIN: They're pretty big. MARISHA: They're nine feet long.

TALIESIN: Bigger than you.

LAURA: Get in the middle, Caleb.

[laughter]

LIAM: I have thought better of it.

I will go in the middle.

[laughter]

I cast Mage Armor.

TALIESIN: I'll say,

yeah, Fjord, you don't have to stay in the middle

if you don't want to, if you want to test out how you feel.

TRAVIS: Mm, okay. LAURA: Don't do it, don't.

[laughter]

MATT: So Fjord, you're staying in the center?

TRAVIS: Yeah, sure. MATT: All right.

You guys encircle Fjord and begin--

LAURA: And Caleb, and Caleb, too, now.

MATT: Caleb as well in the center? All right.

SAM: Ladies and Caduceus surround.

[laughter]

[cheering]

Squad!

In formation, go! LAURA: I'm going to prepare

Spirit Guardians the minute I see any movement.

MATT: Okay.

You begin casting Spirit Guardians

LAURA: To release as soon as we see anything.

MATT: Okay, as you guys continue stepping forward,

Caduceus, out of the corner of your eye,

you look across one of the banks.

For a split second, you look over,

you begin to feel this slight rumble in the ground.

(rumbling) You look up

in the direction of the first snow bank

and you see the bristled fur of the large wolf

there as it pulls back, snarling.

TALIESIN: I cast Blindness. (growling)

MATT: You cast Blindness? TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: All right, so you release Blindness.

You see it leap, too, as he casts the spell.

You look over.

What's the DC on that?

TALIESIN: Constitution 17.

MATT: Constitution 17, natural 19.

TALIESIN: Motherfucker. [gasping]

MATT: Unfortunately, it leaps in the air.

The spell has no effect and there is a spray of white snow

as emerging from the ground beneath it (booming)

you see a flash of blue and white.

You see numerous, spiny legs emerge

from the snow and earth beneath

as a large, serpentine, almost centipede-like creature

bursts from beneath the ice and snow

and devours the wolf whole in one bite.

[yelling]

SAM: We're winning! [laughter]

LAURA: I turn around and look back at our tracks.

Oh, shit. [laughter]

MATT: It turns back towards you,

these large, insectoid eyes,

at its current length standing about 10 feet above,

its large maw glistening, clacking

as its mandibles pull back in,

its numerous arms and legs clicking around its body.

It spins around to look at you with these large antenna.

(gurgling)

Everyone roll initiative.

(yelling)

TRAVIS: Oh fuck!

MARISHA: Oh, Captain, my Captain.

TRAVIS: Fuck!

SAM: Oh, I don't have my helmet-- LAURA: Wait, but I cast

Spiritual Guardians. SAM: This combat

is powered by Dwarven Forge.

They've just launched Plaguestone,

a new line of Pathfinder 2 sets.

Go check it out now, Dwarven Forge.

Oh my god (laughs). [laughter]

Whoa, cool camera angle!

[laughter]

TALIESIN: Does Jester get a Spirit Guardian cast pre-roll?

MATT: Yes, you do, as a reaction, you do.

TALIESIN: Bless you.

SAM: Oh, nice.

MATT: All right, I'm going to get over here

to some proper battle music, thank you.

LAURA: Why does it keep doing this?

MATT: There is one wolf, who is hiding behind here.

You can just hear it react and then

on this end, you see where the creature had just

risen past here and devoured the wolf.

TRAVIS: Fuck that thing! MATT: In one leap.

TRAVIS: I want the wolf instead. [laughter]

MATT: All righty, so.

Initiatives, 25 to 20.

SAM: 23!

MATT: 23, we have Nott.

MATT: 20

to 15? LAURA: 19.

TRAVIS: 17. MARISHA: 15.

MATT: All right, so we have 19 for Jester.

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: 17 for Beauregard. TRAVIS: 17 for Fjord.

MATT: Sorry, for Fjord. MARISHA: 15 for Beau.

MATT: All right, 15 to 10?

TALIESIN: 13. LIAM: 12.

MATT: All right, and we have--

TRAVIS: We're just getting right into this shit.

[cheering]

SAM: I'm just looking at the map.

LAURA: Stop it! [laughter]

SAM: Just looking at the map! [laughter]

LAURA: Oh, it's really hard.

MATT: No, no, no!

Twitch TOS, Sam, come on.

LAURA: It hurt my finger.

LIAM: ♪ Copa Cabana! ♪

TALIESIN: Oh, boy. MATT: All right.

Nott, you're up first.

SAM: Okay, I'm going to run full speed about 30 feet,

flanking all of us, you pick a direction.

MATT: Like around this way? SAM: Yeah, perfect.

MATT: All right, so five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35.

SAM: Sure, and then the last five feet, I'm going to like,

like a hockey stop, like sort of a deep slide,

so I want the snow to cover me

and I'm going to bonus action hide under it.

MATT: I will say because you're small enough

and there is enough snow from the storm last night,

I'll allow it, go ahead and roll a stealth check.

[cheering]

SAM: 28! [cheering]

MATT: A unique element of this.

As you run through the snow, because of your ring,

I'll say the snow is not quite as difficult to get through

as you thought it would be, which is nice.

So you get your full movement. SAM: Nice.

MATT: What was your stealth check again, it was--

SAM: 28, stealth.

MATT: You just skid and (poofs)

vanish into the snowbank.

SAM: And cock my pistolera

and I fire, hoping that I'm hidden.

MATT: All righty, go for it.

SAM: Do I get advantage, no?

MATT: Go ahead and I'll say yes, you do.

SAM: Yeah.

Okay, 24 to hit.

MATT: That definitely hits, roll damage.

[cheering]

SAM: Oh, doctor! [laughter]

I'll use Fury of the Small, 40 points of damage!

[cheering]

TRAVIS: Oh, shit! MATT: Rogues, man.

All righty.

As it turns, it watches and tracks you

as you spin into the snow and vanish,

it begins to look around and its weird,

insect-like face going (clicking),

right in one of its eyes (whooshes),

the splash of blue gore out of one side of its face

as it rears back (gurgling).

That's your turn, I believe, right?

SAM: Oh, yes. MATT: All right.

The ground begins to shake once more, this time heavier.

And larger. TRAVIS: No.

MATT: (whooshing) You all turn around

and, behind you, right in front of Caleb and Jester,

the ground explodes and one of the nearby rocks

gets pushed off to the side

as you realize the one that you noticed

may have been the child. (gasping)

If I can figure out where I dropped the thing.

Of course.

SAM: Bring out the monster! MATT: There it is.

TALIESIN: Jesus Christ. MARISHA: (groans)

LAURA: No! [cheering]

MATT: As it does, oh god, as it does so, the rock tips over,

rolls off, and actually knocks this tree

onto the side there.

TALIESIN: Good save, good save.

MATT: So this entity, now standing tall

at about 15 or so feet, its body much larger,

the armor thicker, its eyes much more angry,

spins around, shifts towards

Jester, Beauregard, and Caleb,

and it's going to make a bite attack against--

LAURA: Wouldn't it get, wait, doesn't it get attacked

by my Spiritual Guardian? MATT: It does, actually.

Go ahead, and what's the wisdom save on that?

LAURA: Wisdom save 17.

MATT: 17.

Natural two, no, it does not save,

go ahead and roll damage. [cheering]

TRAVIS: Come on, hamster unicorns!

LAURA: Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Oh, wait, that's four of them, hold on, I only get three.

Seven plus eight is 15.

MATT: 15 points of damage against it, nice.

So as it emerges, suddenly (whooshes),

it's splashed and assaulted by a cloud of

angry little temporal unicorns,

begin spearing it with their tiny horns.

As it looks back to you (gurgling)

and it's going to attack you.

LAURA: How does it-- MATT: You were the first to hurt.

LAURA: How do they know it's from me?

MATT: You're just too adorable. LAURA: (groans)

You seem to be the source of where they're swirling.

MARISHA: Sentinel attack.

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah! MATT: Yeah.

Go for it. TRAVIS: Get that shit.

SAM: Guys, we're getting good at this.

[laughter]

I don't think anyone's going to die this session.

MARISHA: 14. [laughter]

Tell me I hit it, 14.

MATT: 14 does not hit.

You swing with your staff and as you hit its armor,

as much as the insectoid carapace on the bottom

looks like it's a little fleshy,

it's harder than you thought

and it just bounces off with no impact.

As it bites down toward Jester, with a

22 to hit.

LAURA: Oh, that hits.

MATT: I think that hits your armor class, yeah.

All right, so you, as it bites into you,

you take--

I've got to get all the d10s here.

[gasping]

TALIESIN: Don't want to look. MARISHA: 10s, 10s across the board.

MATT: All right.

Ooh. SAM: 6d10s?

MATT: Okay, that's not good.

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Lord have Mercer!

MATT: You take 43 points of piercing damage.

[gasping]

Plus-- SAM: Plus?!

MATT: Nine points of fire damage.

As cold as it looks on the exterior,

there is a burning heat from inside its mouth and body

and immediately, just having its open mouth clamp onto you,

it's singeing you by proximity.

You are also grappled.

MARISHA: What?!

MATT: While you're grappled, you are restrained.

You guys watch as Jester is bit by it

and it lifts its head up and Jester is now,

her legs peeking and kicking out of its mouth

like Audrey at the end of "Little Shop of Horrors."

[laughter]

It rears up and her feet are about 10 feet above you.

That ends its turn, Jester, your turn.

LAURA: (muffled) Help me!

MATT: I also need you to make a constitution

saving throw for concentration, please.

MARISHA: Save the unicorns.

SAM: Save the world.

LAURA: Why, it's so weird!

Oh, my dice are just so crazy.

12 plus constitution?

MATT: Yes. LAURA: 14.

MATT: 14, unfortunately, the unicorns fade.

The damage was too much and as you struggle

and squeeze around in the mouth of this giant creature,

you lose the spell, however, it is your turn.

What would you like to do?

Right now it is just near darkness

as the top half of your body is in the process

of being chewed by this creature.

LAURA: Um, I'm going to, oh jeebies, wait.

Can I cast anything? MATT: Yeah.

You're just restrained. LAURA: Okay, okay, okay, okay.

I'm going to cast Inflict Wounds

from inside of it. MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to cast it at 4th-level.

[cheering]

MATT: Okay.

Because you are restrained, the attack is a disadvantage,

however, you are inside its mouth,

I'll just say roll, a straight roll,

I won't give you disadvantage because it's hard to

really miss it, you're just trying to

pierce its armor right now.

LAURA: Okay, hold on, let me cast this.

Okay.

SAM: This is fun.

LAURA: This is so much fun, you guys!

Okay, okay.

Vomit. SAM: Big dice, big dice.

LAURA: Plus-- 19.

MATT: 19 hits. [cheering]

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Go ahead and roll damage on that.

LAURA: 6d10.

MATT: Fjord, you're on deck.

[cheering]

SAM: How many? LAURA: 6d10.

MATT: 6d10 necrotic damage. LAURA: Yeah.

Okay. TALIESIN: You need more or you good?

LAURA: I can't believe I need extra dice, hold on.

How many is that, one, two, three, four, five.

18 plus nine is 27 plus five is,

plus nine is 41 plus one more.

One, 42.

MATT: 42 points of necrotic damage.

[cheering]

You feel the muscles constrict and pull and it,

it hurts, but you know,

you enjoy the fact that it's hurting so badly as well.

The rest of you watch as you freak out

watching Jester get brought up

and lifted off the ground, legs kicking,

its throat suddenly goes dark.

You watch as veins across its body

pulse black down the sides of its throat

and it begins to thrash around in pain

as the flesh around the area

where Jester is currently being latched in with its jaw,

it seems to be rotting before your eyes.

Is that the end of your turn?

LAURA: I guess so, yeah.

As a bonus action, I'm going to kick my legs really hard.

MATT: All right, you do so.

Fjord, you're up, Beau, you're on deck.

LAURA: I'm going to do some synchronized swimming moves.

[laughter]

MATT: (laughs) Perfect.

TRAVIS: Jester is still in its mouth?

MATT: Yes, just grappled and held up in its jaw.

TRAVIS: Fuck!

I will use my 30 feet of movement

to move out towards the sides.

Since we're all in a nice little group

here right in the middle and as I run by,

I will take a swipe with my Dagger of Denial.

[cheering] MATT: (chuckles)

Go for it, that would put you,

nah, you're not quite flanking with it,

so you just do a regular attack roll.

TRAVIS: I'm going to do a swipe as I run by and try and--

MATT: Go for it, go for it.

SAM: The dagger is trolling him (laughs).

TRAVIS: That is a 22 to hit.

MATT: That hits, wow. [applause]

Nice roll.

TRAVIS: Yeah, don't get too excited, 1d4.

[laughter]

Hey, six! [cheering]

MATT: Six points of piercing damage to the creature,

as you rush by with your dagger (whooshes),

like Naruto stab across the side.

[laughter]

TRAVIS: Coming, Jester, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

MATT: Awesome.

You also-- LAURA: Somebody get me out of there

before-- MATT: Take

15 points of fire damage. [gasping]

As you strike across it and open a wound,

the heat that emanates from its body is so strong

that it scalds the side of your face

and Jester, as a reminder, too, when you did attack it,

you also did take 13 points of fire damage.

I needed to remember that.

From the heat inside of its body,

it is like a burning furnace on the inside of this large,

blue centipede-like creature. MARISHA: Your face.

Oh no.

LAURA: I'm super close. MARISHA: Okay, okay.

SAM: I take back what I said before.

[laughter]

Someone's going to die.

LAURA: Ah, man, are you going to kill me

at the very beginning of the show?

What am I going to do?

MATT: Oh, I'm sorry.

Beau, you're up.

MATT: All right, I am going to turn around

and I'm going to kick off of the tree behind me

and parkour off and I'm going to use that

and do a big swinging Iron Man, Superman punch

to its lobster fucking face.

MATT: You go for it.

Go ahead and make an acrobatics check for me.

MARISHA: Copy.

Yeah, 21.

MATT: 21.

You run, jump, and run up the side of the tree,

vertically leaping off, and as you spin in the air,

come down for the strike,

I'll give you advantage on the attack

because of that acrobatics check.

[cheering]

MARISHA: Okay!

Thank God, because one's a natural one.

The other is a 17 plus 10, so 27.

MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

MARISHA: 10 damage.

MATT: 10 damage, all right. MARISHA: Stunning Strike.

MATT: Stunning Strike.

15.

What's your DC? MARISHA: 15?

MATT: It succeeds, sorry. MARISHA: Fucking ballsacks.

MATT: The first strike, as you slam down,

it takes it, but it seems to shrug it off,

no effect beyond the damage it sustained.

MARISHA: Second attack, I'm going to,

as I'm using my momentum to swing down,

I'm going to come around with a knee to the face

or abdomen or I don't know, whatever.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: 19.

MATT: 19 hits. MARISHA: 11 damage.

MATT: 11 points of damage.

MARISHA: Stunning Strike!

MATT: Stunning Strike again.

Natural 18. I'm sorry.

It's rolling really well.

MARISHA: Okay.

Flurry of Blows.

Pop-pop! MATT: Go for it.

So you leap up, the first hit, you grab on

and mount yourself onto the back of its head

and just start pummeling it from above, go for it.

MARISHA: First attack.

MATT: Currently now affixed to its body there.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm, 28.

MATT: 28 hits.

MARISHA: And nine damage. MATT: All righty.

Nine.

AUDIENCE: Nein!

[laughter]

MARISHA: Jester's looking bad.

First, I hit with a Flurry of Blows, Extract Aspects.

MATT: Okay. MARISHA: Order of operations.

I'm trying to keep them all in my head.

MATT: All right, you understand this creature

is immune to cold and fire damage.

[gasping]

SAM: That seems contradictory. [laughter]

MATT: Welcome to D&D.

MARISHA: That's it?

MATT: Yes, and as this information comes to you,

you're like, huh, how is it immune to fire damage?

You look at your fists

and they're scalding from the impact.

You take, from the first hit, nine points of fire damage.

MARISHA: Nine!

MATT: The second hit you inflicted

another nine points of fire damage.

SAM and AUDIENCE: Nein!

MATT: The third hit, another nine points of fire damage.

AUDIENCE: Nein!

MATT: Go ahead and roll your fourth and final attack.

MARISHA: All right, yes.

TRAVIS: That's a lot of damage just from punching it.

MARISHA: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

LIAM: Das tut mir leid.

MARISHA: Okay.

Oh, 15. MATT: 15 does not hit.

MARISHA: Okay, no Stunning Strike. MATT: Do you wish to remain

on the back of the creature?

[laughter]

You're currently riding on its head,

clutching the back of its spine.

MARISHA: How close is Jester from the--

MATT: She's about five feet from you.

MARISHA: I'll stay on the back.

MATT: Okay. [cheering]

That finishes Beau's go, now it's the wolf's turn.

The wolf is going to run the fuck away.

[laughter]

It is out.

LAURA: We should maybe follow suit.

SAM: Smartest creature in the campaign.

MATT: Mother nature, for some reason,

has a good instinct for these things.

Speaking of which, Caduceus, you're up.

TALIESIN: Motherfudger.

Okay, there's not a lot I can do to help here.

You look like you just, you just got kind of,

yeah, I don't want you to drop too low, too fast,

so I'm going to do a Healing Word

at-- let me pick a level.

It won't be a ton, but it'll help at 3rd-level.

MATT: All right, so 3d4 plus--

TALIESIN: 3d4 plus five. MATT: Plus five.

Go ahead and roll that. TALIESIN: Not the best,

but it'll help. MATT: As Caduceus reaches up and

shouts out a magical word of encouragement and healing

towards Jester in the creature's mouth.

TALIESIN: Oh, that's so terrible.

11 points of, 11 points up. LAURA: Tight.

TALIESIN: Taking it and my bonus actions

just suck in this, don't they?

MATT: But Healing Word is a bonus action,

so you have your action. LAURA: Back to double digits,

that's good. MATT: You have your action still.

TALIESIN: Oh, that was my bonus action?

MATT: Healing Word is bonus, yeah. TALIESIN: Is bonus,

but for action-wise, though, I can't cast a spell.

MATT: You can cast a cantrip.

TALIESIN: I can cast a cantrip, okay, that'll do.

That's right, I'm learning how this works.

It's only been so long.

I'm going to,

no, that doesn't work, I'm going to cast,

I suppose Sacred Flame because that's what I got right now.

MATT: All right, is that a dexterity-saving throw?

TALIESIN: Sacred Flame is a dex saving throw.

MATT: All right, that is going to be a 10.

I believe that's a failure.

TALIESIN: That is a failure. MATT: Go ahead and roll damage.

[cheering]

LAURA: That's good, so that's radiant damage, right?

That's not-- TALIESIN: That's radiant.

LAURA: Okay, that's good, that's good, that's good.

TALIESIN: That's not bad.

14 points of radiant damage.

MATT: Nice.

(whooshes) The fire burns across it.

You're starting to see now,

it's looking like it's taking some damage.

It's still strong, still standing without issue,

but you can see there's some wear and tear.

The one that Nott shot earlier

also is seeing some wear and tear.

TALIESIN: Yeah, and I'm just going to hold my,

I'm going to just try and stay in between the two.

MATT: Okay, so you're staying put?

TALIESIN: Yeah, sure. MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Also, Matt, do I have time for Beau to be like:

Avoid fire and ice (groans).

George R.R. Martin-- MARISHA: Beau just shouting

at the top of it, swinging, "No fire and ice!"

MARISHA: Yeah!

SAM: It was a great book!

[laughter]

MATT: You got it, all right, Caleb.

LIAM: Caleb, he had an idea,

but he just starts rapidly

going through the spells he knows.

This, no, this, no, this, no, this, no!

He sees his dear little blue friend looking rough

and pulls out a cocoon and casts Polymorph

and turns her into a mammoth.

[cheering]

LAURA: (laughs)

LIAM: Sending you the stats!

And I'm backing the hell away from this monstrosity.

This way. MATT: All right.

I didn't bring my mammoth mini

because I wasn't expecting that.

We'll just use the wolf for it

and consider it a bit larger.

You watch as the jaws suddenly distend

and snap, almost, as Jester's body begins to swell

and grow brown fur, the armor seems to protrude

and expand until it becomes this extremely

deep-brown, furry, just a hunk of flesh and muscle

before it spits her out instinctually.

[cheering]

Knocking this tree over into the other one.

LAURA: Yeah!

MATT: Which it does not make its dexterity-saving throw,

so it takes an additional three points of bludgeoning damage

from the tree slamming into it.

The tree tumbles over there onto the ground.

All right, you're a mammoth now.

LIAM: Caleb will move his full movement, 30 feet this way,

going: Schnell, schnell, schnell, schnell.

MATT: This way?

LIAM: Diagonally this way, DM.

MATT: All right, as you rush back, the creature,

now having its jaws freed,

is going to make an attack of opportunity against you.

LIAM: Ja.

MATT: That is going to be a 15 to hit.

LIAM: Shield.

MATT: Shield, all righty. [cheering]

You guys watch as after Jester is expelled from its mouth,

the creature turns around and (growling)

lunges like a snake, snapping towards Caleb

as he runs and (whooshes) throws up his shield.

Its jaws snap out to consume him and (whooshes)

get reflected from the arcane shield,

bouncing backward, its head withdraws back,

and it gets its bearings

after its head took the impact.

LIAM: Scheiße (groans).

MATT: That gets you about there.

All right, that finishes your turn, Caleb.

It is now the younger one's turn.

Younger one. TRAVIS: Fuck you.

MATT: It's going to go ahead and--

Let's see here, yeah.

It's going to spin around to this direction.

It's going to go ahead and

bite down towards you, Nott. (Sam yells)

Because you were the one that

shot the hell out of it last turn.

SAM: (yells) MATT: That is going to be

a 21 to hit? SAM: Hits!

MATT: All right.

It bites down towards you,

its fangs and jaws sinking into you.

All right, that's a really good roll.

10, nine, and a four.

That is 27 points of piercing damage.

Plus eight points of fire damage as its jaws bite into you.

It begins to drag you back a bit.

You can feel the inner heat from its mouth and throat

burning, singeing the back of your body as you pull free.

It does not have you grappled.

SAM: Uncanny dodge.

MATT: All right, so you take half the damage then.

[cheering]

That ends its turn.

Nott, your go.

SAM: Am I in its jaws?

MATT: No, it has not grappled you.

SAM: Oh, thank goodness.

If I run, it will kill me.

So I don't want to do that.

Oh, man, this is a predicament.

(Travis laughs)

Shit, shit, shit!

I will run--

nope, I'm just going to sit right in front of it,

plop down in the snow, and just go, ping!

MATT: All right, go ahead and roll for an attack, then.

SAM: Shit, that's not good either,

because I won't get a sneak attack, it's not worth it!

MATT: What are you doing? SAM: Fuck, shitballs!

I'm going to run! MATT: Okay.

SAM: I got to run. MATT: All right.

You go ahead and start running which direction?

LAURA: Run at a zig zag.

SAM: Yeah, serpentine, serpentine!

MATT: Zigging around here!

All right. (Laura laughs)

Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35.

That gets you about there.

As you rush past it,

it does get an attack of opportunity on you.

It attempts to bite out once again.

LAURA: At disadvantage because of the zig zag!

MATT: No. [laughter]

That is a 24 to hit.

23, 23. SAM: Hits!

MATT: I'm rolling really well tonight.

TALIESIN: Stop it! MATT: No, it's fun for me.

[laughter]

All right.

18 plus four, 22 points of piercing damage.

SAM: Damn. LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: Plus 10 points of fire damage.

SAM: Damn!

MATT: So 32 points of damage to you.

SAM: Damn!

I'll use my bonus action to somehow, like,

jump into the tree and hide!

Maybe? [laughter]

MATT: Make an acrobatics check for me.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: With disadvantage because you just got

the fuck bitten out of you.

SAM: Oh, not good.

13.

MATT: 13, okay, you scramble up part of the tree.

You think you may or may not be

far enough into its branches.

You're using a stealth check for your bonus action.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: Make a stealth check with disadvantage

because you've just barely scampered up.

SAM: Okay, 22. MATT: 22.

Even hurting and ow, ow, ow, rushing your way up there

and climbing up the tree and slipping in,

climbing up more, you think you're still pretty well hidden.

So I think that's your turn there.

SAM: No, I haven't done my action.

MATT: Oh, that's right, because you didn't attack it,

you didn't shoot it, so, yeah, take your action.

SAM: Now I will shoot it and hope that I'm hidden.

MATT: All right.

[cheering]

So you are currently up in the tree.

SAM: 21 to hit. MATT: That does hit.

Go ahead and roll damage.

SAM: Is it sneak attack?

MATT: Actually because you jumped up into the tree and hid,

it would be sneak attack, so go.

[cheering]

TRAVIS: Come on, come on, come on, come on.

SAM: 23!

No!

29! [cheering]

MATT: (whooshes) As the impact of the crossbow bolt

slams under its jaw, you see it cough (spluttering)

and spit up this dark, purple-black blood

that spatters and drips, and you can see

the snow that it impacts immediately

(hisses) steam and sizzle.

You now see, as they've emerged from this area,

all the snow in the vicinity is melting and hissing

as it moves through the swathe of soft powder.

Does that finish your turn?

SAM: Not dead yet? MATT: No.

SAM: Fuck, shit, fuck! MATT: (laughs)

All right.

That now brings us to the main creature's turn.

Now that there is a mammoth that it just spit out.

[cheering]

[cheering]

[cheering]

[cheering]

SAM: Colts forged!

MATT: You don't know with what you toy.

LIAM: You're going to drive him back to Uk'otoa.

SAM: and LAURA: (whispering) Uk'otoa.

MARISHA: Travis just wrote "bury Sam," I don't, oh.

MATT: All right, the creature,

it's spat out this large mammoth that is now (booming)

on the ground, pushing over a tree.

Caduceus, you watch as this mammoth

stomps the ground around you, shaking,

it almost steps onto you. TALIESIN: Oh, yeah.

[laughter]

MATT: The creature is going to go ahead and

try and swing its head up and try and shake off

what's on top of it.

That's going to be

26 to hit.

MARISHA: Me? MATT: You, Beauregard.

MARISHA: No, yeah.

Yep, it hits.

MATT: All right, so, Beauregard,

as it shakes you off, slamming its neck

up in the air, you lose your grip and (whooshes)

fling, as you do, the head spins around (whisks)

and is going to attempt to

bite you up into the air and does so.

LAURA: What?

MARISHA: Wow, that's kind of cool.

That was a dope move it just did.

Sucks that it's me. [laughter]

MATT: Take 48 points of piercing damage.

(exclamations)

SAM: 48? MATT: Yes.

Plus nine points of fire damage.

[exclamations of dismay]

LIAM: Bugs, man.

MARISHA: I go limp in its jaws.

I am unconscious.

MATT: You are unconscious.

Your unconscious body is currently grappled

in its jaws.

SAM: Oh no.

Oh No-regard.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Oh, shit.

MARISHA: Please don't kill me at a live show.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Holy shit!

MATT: And then it burrows underground.

(yelling)

TRAVIS: You!

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: Beau!

LIAM: (extended) No!

TRAVIS: Holy shit!

MATT: There is an indent where, as it

disappears beneath, the cavern underneath,

it's left there, open,

you can see the slight opening

and you can feel it rumbling in the ground,

beneath where Caduceus and the mammoth are.

But you have no visual sight of it at the moment.

Jester, your turn.

[laughter]

SAM: Wow.

LAURA: I do a (squeaks) with my trunk.

LIAM: [elephant trumpet]

LAURA: (screams)

That was good!

I can't, I can't follow it as a mammoth.

TALIESIN: Well.

How big is the hole?

How big is the hole?

MATT: The hole, I'd say a lot of it's collapsed inward,

so it's about 10 feet across. TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: So it's about an eight to 10 foot from side to side

and a lot of it is fallen in beneath it,

but there is a little bit of an opening.

LAURA: I'm going to, I'm going to turn around and look

and I'm going to spot its baby.

MATT: There's the hole that it left right there.

LAURA: I'm going to rage towards, try to charge the baby.

MATT: All right.

You rush (thumping) over Caduceus.

LAURA: How far away from it was me?

MATT: It's about 25 feet or so, I'd say.

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to walk, oh, at least 20 feet, okay,

I'm going to run forward and use a tramping charge on it.

MATT: I'm going to say-- [cheering]

This tree is toast (laughs).

As you slam towards it, Caduceus,

you almost get pushed off to the side,

having to catch yourself on the edge of the snowbank.

LAURA: It has to succeed on a strength check of 18.

MATT: Okay.

That is a, it has a good strength,

but not enough on a natural three.

It's a seven, that's a failure, I'm pretty sure.

LAURA: So it's knocked prone and I get to make a bonus

stomp action on it. SAM: Whoa.

MATT: There you go.

Roll your damage on it, the impact.

LAURA: Well, that's a 23 to hit on it.

MATT: A 23 to hit.

That does hit.

LAURA: So whoa. [laughter]

That's 4d10 bludgeoning damage.

[cheering]

And that's just my bonus action. TRAVIS: Fuck it up!

LIAM: [elephant trumpeting]

[cheering]

LAURA: That's 30 points of bludgeoning damage.

And then I'm going to gore it with my--

MATT: All right, roll damage.

LAURA: Oh, that's 28 to hit!

Oh, shit, wait, that was 4d10 plus seven.

I didn't add the seven. MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Holy fuck. (laughter)

And then the gore attack. It's cocked.

10, 15.

That's 15 plus seven, that's 20 what, 22

points of goring tusk damage.

MATT: You take eight points of fire damage.

LAURA: Fuck it, I'm a mammoth, I don't care.

[cheering]

[cheering]

MATT: And how do you want to do this?

[cheering and applause]

[cheering and applause]

LAURA: Caleb, make my noise for me.

LIAM: [elephant trumpeting] LAURA: And I'm stomping.

MATT: (laughs) LAURA: (screams)

My trunk is everywhere!

Then I run over to Caleb and I'm stomping

and like: Let me out so that I can help Beau, though.

Except I'm not saying that, I'm just thinking it.

(groaning)

MATT: Okay.

As you rush towards, screaming that,

you shove it down and as it's on the ground,

you jam your tusks into it and tear its body through.

You watch as its interior muscles tear open,

its brackish, purple blood spraying across you

and burning your face, but also spattering across the snow

and as it does, the immediate snowbank behind it

just liquefies and you can see the green grass

below the surface, where the previous storm had covered.

The creature is no more.

[cheering]

LAURA: I kind of want to be a mammoth all the time.

[laughter]

MATT: You hear [elephant trumpet].

I can't do it as well as Liam.

That finishes Jester's turn.

Fjord, you're up with Beau on deck.

TRAVIS: Yes, can I run over to the hole

where the fucking asshole went?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Do I see anything?

MATT: Make a perception check. TRAVIS: Oh, sure.

12, 13.

MATT: You see movement, as parts of the earth

are closing in, you're not sure

which is snow and which is the creature,

but you can see movement.

TRAVIS: Fuck!

I will take the Inescapable Lash whip

and I will try to whip it from the, whip it good!

[cheering]

SAM: Dun, dun, dun, dun!

MATT: All right, go ahead and make an attack.

TRAVIS: Okay.

16, oh, plus five?

That's great, that's 20.

[cheering]

MATT: You're proficient with whips?

TRAVIS: No.

I don't know why it says plus five.

It's a plus one to hit, so it's 16.

MARISHA: What's your? TRAVIS: Dink, dink.

MATT: Right, right.

SAM: This is the problem when you don't have stats.

LIAM: Yeah. [laughter]

MATT: Well, no, I mean, if you're proficient with--

LIAM: New character, who dis?

MATT: You're proficient with martial weapons, so yeah.

That plus five is your proficiency bonus.

[cheering]

That does hit, so go ahead and roll damage.

TRAVIS: Hey, 1d4 plus one!

Two plus one is three!

Four, four points of damage!

MATT: Four points of damage.

LAURA: Are you going towards it

or are you trying to bring it towards you?

TRAVIS: Four points of damage and I will use my bonus action

to grapple the target. SAM: Yes.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: With the whip or with your body?

LAURA: With the whip.

TRAVIS: With the whip, I don't know, it's what it says!

TALIESIN: Oh, yeah, it's a whip catch. MATT: Okay, so (whooshes),

you slap the whip down there, (whooshes)

wraps around what movement is there

and it begins to tug and pull. TRAVIS: Fuck.

SAM: Oh god.

MARISHA: Oh god. SAM: Yeah, yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'm holding onto that shit.

MATT: Okay.

Beau?

I need you to make a death-saving throw.

[groaning]

MARISHA: Is it this one?

Is it? TRAVIS: It is that one.

MARISHA: Successful, 12. MATT: Okay. That's one success.

It's the wolf turn.

It's even further out of sight.

[laughter]

Caduceus, it's your turn.

You see, as you recover from watching this mammoth Jester

rush through and just completely destroy

the younger creature, you spin around and see

Fjord whip and then (cracking) (groans),

start being pulled towards the opening in the ground.

What are you doing?

TALIESIN: Wow, I'm going to run right over

and look down and see if I can see what he just grabbed.

MATT: Okay.

You move over here, that's 15 feet of movement there.

Make a perception check.

TALIESIN: All right.

That's a 28.

[cheering]

MATT: You can see there is currently

a whip around its, like the very tip of its tail

and one of its back legs and it is latched.

You can just barely see the cusp of it.

It's about to completely vanish beneath the surface.

TALIESIN: I'm going to cast Blight. AUDIENCE: Yeah!

[cheering]

MATT: Okay. TALIESIN: I don't like it, no.

That says constitution 17 save.

MATT: Natural one on the save. [cheering]

Go ahead and roll damage.

TALIESIN: This is going to take a while.

Double checking what this does.

Yeah, okay, and this is necrotic energy.

MATT: It is.

TALIESIN: Okay.

Oh, that's nice.

16, that's 20.

34, 35, 37, 38.

42 points of necrotic energy.

MATT: Nice. [cheering]

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: I will say, as a reaction to the pain,

it withdraws deeper inside.

Fjord, the whip is tugging you forward.

Are you going to let go or continue to hold on?

TRAVIS: I'm holding on to my sec--

MARISHA: No, this is turning into a BMX video, don't do it!

Let go of the bike.

LAURA: No. SAM: Do it.

MATT: Fjord, what are you doing?

TRAVIS: I'm holding on. MARISHA: (groans)

I love you.

MATT: Fjord disappears into the hole

as, very much like "Tremors," you're just (whooshes)

pulled (poofs) underground.

All right.

SAM: Is it still a tunnel we can follow through or did it--

MATT: You can certainly try.

TALIESIN: Does it look like it's collapsing?

MATT: It looks like it's probably not meant to be

structurally sound, the creature definitely doesn't

leave a bunch of, you know,

it's not a spherical worm that carves through the earth,

it has a bunch of legs and burrows through

and what's behind it seems to fall in.

TALIESIN: Yeah, before it vanishes,

I'm going to use a bonus action

to cast Light on the creature

so we can maybe keep a light on it.

I don't know what else to do with it--

MATT: You can cast bonus--

TALIESIN: Oh, and it's touch. Never mind. MATT: Sorry, man.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I don't know what else other than, yeah.

I don't know what else. MATT: All right.

That's the end of your turn?

You can still move if you want.

You got 15 feet of movement. TALIESIN: I can still move and

I have to be able to see,

I have to see somebody to cast Spare the Dying, right?

Yeah. MATT: Correct.

TALIESIN: Never mind, okay.

Yeah, I'm going to circle in and just get ready

and round that hole to see if it's

going to collapse or if it's going to stay sound.

MATT: You've got it.

Caleb, you're up.

LIAM: Okay, Caleb's head is whipping back and forth

from mammoth problem to hole to mammoth to hole.

That's taken care of, drops the mammoth spell,

Polymorph is gone.

MATT: Jester suddenly is now standing over this body going.

(growling)

(laughs)

LIAM: Using movement to run to the hole,

am I able to get there with a vantage point to see

the creature in the hole?

MATT: You do not see a creature, all you see is rock

and snow falling in.

LIAM: I don't see anybody, I don't see my friends?

MATT: Actually, you do see Fjord's feet

being pulled into the rock and snow.

LIAM: The catmint bloom comes out and I reach out my hand

and a little spectral version of Frumpkin

appears right by Fjord and then (poofs),

there is a giant cat's hand which attempts to grapple Fjord.

[cheering] MATT: Okay.

All right, go ahead and roll for the attempt on that.

TRAVIS: Daisy chain!

LIAM: Okay, its strength is very high.

TALIESIN: I'm looking up options.

LIAM: That's a total of 32. [cheering]

MATT: So the hand wraps around Fjord,

the base of the legs and then (whooshes)

begins to pull him out with the whip taut.

I need you to make a strength check.

[groaning]

SAM: Oh no!

LAURA: Natural 20, natural 20, natural 20!

TRAVIS: 17. [cheering]

MATT: You feel the shoulder joints

pop, pop out a little bit,

but you maintain your hold and as you're pulled out there,

your entire body is on fire. I will say,

because this is going to, you take three points

of stretching damage. (laughter)

As your body is yanked out.

TRAVIS: It's almost like being with Avantika again.

[laughter]

MATT: Is there any additional movement on the hand?

LIAM: No, it will just pull taut

and try to keep this from moving forward.

MATT: Okay, so as it pulls--

LAURA: Pull him back! MATT: You pull Fjord back

and out of the hole-- LIAM: I am able to?

MATT: Yeah. LIAM: It can do its movement

while holding? MATT: I'll allow it

if you add some movement. LIAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If I haven't lost hold of him,

I will start to make slim even slimmer.

MATT: Okay, how far back?

LIAM: Out of the hole, if I can.

MATT: Well, how much movement does it have?

LIAM: Oh, yeah, that's probably something I should know.

[laughter]

It's 30 or 60, where is it on the spell?

SAM: For the hand, for pushing,

it's usually five feet per level.

LIAM: 60 feet.

MATT: 60 feet, so you can move back 30,

because you are dragging, so it's a half-speed.

Moving it back 30 feet,

it pulls up over the rock,

Fjord is like (groans) being stretched,

barely holding on-- LIAM: Is there a monk on a string?

MATT: As you do (crunching).

[cheering]

You watch as, against its own strength,

it's being pulled backwards, its legs are trying desperately

to burrow and dig in and find purchase against the rock

and it's just being dragged out by this giant cat hand

as Fjord is just screaming in pain.

TRAVIS: This hurts so much!

Fuck! [laughter]

MATT: Fuck it, you take another one point of damage.

TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: (laughs) From the drag.

I rolled it really well.

I rolled really poorly, so you're happy.

All right, that finishes Caleb's turn.

Nott, you're up.

SAM: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: You're still up in the tree.

SAM: I'm going to hop down.

I can see the creature, correct?

MATT: From where you are, it can glance over, yes.

There's a tree between the two of you,

but the creature's large enough

that you can see the movement around the outside.

SAM: I'll get close enough so I can see it

and I will take out a bit of fleece,

remembering the instructions of Caleb

and I will rub it together and I will cast Phantasmal Force

on the creature. MATT: Jester there.

Phantasmal Force, all right, what is the save on that?

SAM: Intelligence 15.

MATT: It actually, it rolled a 17,

but it's minus three on that, so that's a--

[cheering]

So 14, what's your spell DC?

SAM: 15. MATT: 15, it just fails.

SAM: Do I see Beau's legs dangling?

LAURA: She's fully in. MATT: Well, you can see

the feet somewhat out. SAM: Okay.

All right, I'm going to conjure an image in this beast's

mindscape. I'm going to make it think

that Beauregard has wriggled free

and is slowly running away, flipping it the bird.

I would like, I hope it takes a bite

at the fake Beau.

LAURA: And drops the actual-- SAM: And drops the real Beau.

MATT: Okay.

Well, if I recall, does it take psychic damage?

SAM: Only if it,

if the image that it perceives

is giving it damage. MATT: Gotcha.

All right, so, yeah, that is not the case.

However, it does believe.

SAM: It believes that Beau is running away from it.

MATT: Yes, it does, okay.

SAM: So will it take an attack of opportunity?

MATT: Yes, it will, and it'll open its jaws

and Beau will fall.

[cheering]

TRAVIS: Fucking slick.

MATT: So Beau's unconscious body falls limp out of its jaws.

It is a 10-foot fall, so you do take a point of damage.

SAM: Oh, shit.

MATT: So you do lose a death save.

[groaning]

MARISHA: It's okay, I'm good, I'm good!

MATT: It lashes out towards the illusion (whooshes),

moves through it, you watch as the running Beau,

suddenly the jaws snap around it

and she just continues running out of its face (poofs).

It withdraws, confused, whipping around.

SAM: Yep, that's it (laughs). MARISHA: That was amazing!

SAM: I will use my bonus action to hide

and my free action to remind everyone

that you can still vote in the election.

[laughter]

And if I am elected, you'll see

many more cool moves like that.

MATT: All righty. SAM: Bonus action hide.

MATT: Make a stealth check with disadvantage

just because the snow here is starting to melt.

Actually, where you're standing right now,

there's very little snow because of the creature,

so I won't allow it.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: From the death of where it died,

all the snow in the region has now melted,

so there'd be nowhere to hide.

SAM: I'll take it. MATT: Okay.

That finishes its turn, now it's the creature's turn.

TRAVIS: Oh god.

MATT: Angry and being pulled back

and snapping at the unconscious Beau,

the only other thing that it sees within range

within range is Caduceus.

LAURA: Didn't it see the Beau that

came out of its mouth running away?

MATT: It does, but it runs away.

SAM: I said very slowly.

[laughter]

It's just doing a fade away--

MATT: In order for it to make an attack of opportunity,

she has to move out of its melee range, so.

However, that will be a 20 to hit.

What's your armor class?

TALIESIN: 18. MATT: So that does hit.

Caduceus, you take...

Man!

Like, just so you guys are aware,

it's 6d10 damage on this.

I've been rolling so well.

This is an eight, 10, nine, 10, six, and a three.

[shouting] I've been rolling so well

on damage tonight, I am so sorry.

TALIESIN: Guys. LIAM: I was so waiting for,

"It's all ones, you guys, it's all ones."

MATT: (laughs)

All right, 32, 38, 46, plus seven.

53 points of piercing damage, Caduceus.

[groaning]

And 10 points of fire damage.

As it snaps you into its jaws, its teeth crunch around you,

you feel the armor pressure in the shield

just placed up against your torso.

Your staff almost snaps from the impact

as it draws you up into its mouth.

You are grappled and restrained.

Lifted up, your feet dangling

and just barely kicking past the unconscious body of Beau

bleeding out in the snow.

And it's grappled from the rope,

so it can't move, so it can't burrow,

so it's going to stay there. [cheering]

Jester, your turn.

LAURA: (groans)

Fuck.

I can't run up to it or else I will die if I try to do that

so I'm going to Guiding Bolt it.

MATT: Sure. LAURA: Yeah, from far away.

TALIESIN: But Beau, also-- LAURA: I'm going to, I know.

I'm going to try to take it out.

I'm going to Guiding Bolt it at level--

SAM: 20. LAURA: At level four.

Guiding Bolt it at level four.

MATT: Okay (laughs).

Go ahead and roll an attack on it.

LAURA: Beau's unconscious.

MATT: Beau is unconscious on the ground, yes.

LIAM: Two death saves.

MARISHA: Do you, you do you. SAM: (pigeon cooing)

LAURA: No!

MATT: What are you doing, Jester?

Level four Guiding Bolt or something?

LAURA: Well, if it dies then Beau will be saved, see.

MATT: That's a valid point.

TRAVIS: But it'll...

LAURA: If it bleeds, though,

then Beau will be in a lot of trouble here (screeches).

But (heavy breathing), I'm going--

MATT: Hurry up, decisions, you got six seconds.

You will have been passed-- LAURA: No, no, no!

MATT: If you don't make a choice here, waste your turn.

LAURA: No, no, okay, okay, okay, okay,

look, I'm going to run up.

And I'm going to Cure Wounds on Beau.

[cheering]

LAURA: I'm going to slide down and I'm going to hold her.

MATT: The snow itself is hard to move through in this space,

but you move across the rock and slide down the side.

Your movement gets you to right about where Beau is,

then the five feet before there.

The heat is emanating from the creature.

Beau on the ground-- LAURA: I reach down and I

put my hand on Beau's forehead

and I cast Cure Wounds at level four.

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: That's 4d8 plus five.

Okay.

14, 18, 20, plus 25 points.

[cheering]

MARISHA: Fuck.

LAURA: I'm a cleric. (laughter)

TRAVIS: With disdain. LAURA: As a bonus action,

I'm going to just be like: Man,

I think I could have killed it.

[laughter]

MATT: As you envision what it felt like

to have strong tusks.

Beauregard, you come back to consciousness.

MARISHA: Do I come back to consciousness

seeing Jester's face of regret and disdain?

(laughter)

I just say-- LAURA: I'm glad you're back

and stuff. [laughter]

MARISHA: Why aren't you, like, a wizard or a sorcerer?

LAURA: I don't know. [laughter]

LIAM: Best friends forever, K-I-D.

TRAVIS: Holy shit.

MATT: All righty, that finishes Jester's turn.

Fjord.

TRAVIS: Yes, I still have the whip

attached to its foot, right?

MATT: You do.

LAURA: Its foot.

TRAVIS: Whatever the fuck it has,

as an action, I can-- buh buh bleh, buh bleh bleh--

cause them to become restrained?

MATT: If you'd like to.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'd like to try and do that.

MATT: Okay.

So as you, you're standing there,

holding it at bay, you invoke the whip,

and it pulls you a little bit forward

and the claw a little bit slightly (whooshes) towards it.

As the whip begins to extend and wrap around it,

you see its body begin to be rope-tied

along its midsection and it's pulling against it.

You are-- [shouting]

Magically hogtying [cheering]

this creature.

SAM: Hogtie it!

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: That's your action. TRAVIS: Yeah, no, that's it.

That's the end of my turn.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: I'd love to give you a health potion or, you know,

do something else, but that's all I've got.

[laughter]

MATT: Beau, it's your turn.

MARISHA: (groans)

Okay.

MATT: Caduceus is currently up here, in its jaws.

TALIESIN: Thank you. MATT: There you go.

Just for a visual aid, you know, make it fun.

TALIESIN: No, not yet.

MARISHA: How, hmm...

LAURA: (gasps) TRAVIS: Fucking run.

LAURA: No, no, you've got the lightning gloves!

MARISHA: Hm? LAURA: You've got lightning gloves.

SAM: (pigeon coos) LAURA: I'm right next to her.

SAM: (coos) Lightning gloves.

LAURA: I say: Don't hit it, it's--

MARISHA: Mm-hm. LAURA: It makes--

MARISHA: Yeah, get to use those once a day.

This feels like a long hiking trip.

[laughter]

LAURA: We could rest after this, you know.

MARISHA: I will take out

my bo staff, though.

Do a cool little flourish.

MATT: You're still prone.

MARISHA: Stand up. MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Ooh, but do that cool Arya move where she spins

and jumps up and yeah. MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: You got it.

MARISHA: And help myself up there as a way.

MATT: So not as cool as I envisioned, sure.

MARISHA: Then pop, pop!

MATT: Go for it, two attacks on it.

MARISHA: Both natural 19s.

MATT: Nice.

Damage on the first one?

MARISHA: I rolled an eight on an eight.

13. MATT: 13 points of--

MARISHA: And another eight. [cheering]

26. MATT: Nice!

[cheering]

Great, so, whack, whack with the staff twice,

with each slam, the heat that bursts out of its body,

you take-- MARISHA: Can I run?

MATT: Nine points of fire damage. MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay, okay,

okay, please don't die. MATT: And 14 points

of fire damage. [gasping]

MARISHA: Okay. SAM: Whoa, that's dangerous.

MARISHA: Okay, okay.

SAM: That's like two, right?

MARISHA: Yep.

MATT: You still have your bonus action.

MARISHA: Uh-huh, I'm going to Step of the Wind.

(laughter)

LIAM: No, no, hit it again, hit it again.

MARISHA: No!

MARISHA: I will spend a ki point

to take the disengage action.

MATT: Pop, pop (whooshing).

(laughter)

MARISHA: I cry a little, yeah.

MATT: Just go running full speed. MARISHA: Uh-huh.

MATT: You lost half your speed getting up,

so you have 20 feet of movement left, I believe,

what's your movement speed? MARISHA: 45 feet of movement.

MATT: Yeah, I'll put you 25 feet.

You can move away from it if you want to.

Are you going full 25? MARISHA: Yes!

MATT: All right (laughs).

There you go,

just sprinting through. LAURA: I'm still on the ground.

MATT: Actually, technically, the snow,

well, no, I'd say it's melting around the creature

because of its proximity. MARISHA: I go away from

the melty bile. MATT: You got it.

MARISHA: I don't.

MATT: That finishes your turn, Beau?

MARISHA: Yeah!

MATT: Caduceus, you're up.

You are also grappled and restrained

and you're not, it's not darkness,

it bit onto your body, and one arm

and your head is sticking out one side.

One leg is inside, you're pushed up and mangled.

You can still see, but you're being flung around

as it swings you (whooshing) side to side.

What are you doing?

TALIESIN: Well, I'm torn.

[laughter]

TRAVIS: Bad use of words, that's not, no--

LIAM: Not yet, you're not.

TALIESIN: This thing was looking pretty rough a while ago,

right? MATT: You started to see it take damage.

It's starting to look rough, yeah.

TALIESIN: Starting to look rough, that's so nice.

[laughter]

I'm going to just, I'm going to trust in my friends' ability

to get shit done and I'm going to cast

what's that thing where if I hit zero I go back to one?

Where is it?

Is it-- LAURA: Death Ward?

TALIESIN: Death Ward, yeah, I'm going to do Death Ward.

MATT: Okay. TALIESIN: Where are you?

I'm going to cast Death Ward on myself.

MATT: Go for it. LIAM: Tal,

do you still have the periapt?

The Periapt of Wound Closure? TALIESIN: I do.

I don't have, yeah, I auto-stabilize,

but this way, I don't, you know, I'm conscious.

MATT: All right, you got it, so, Death Ward on yourself.

You feel the Wildmother's magic suffuse you

and safeguard you from slipping into the edge of death.

TALIESIN: Excellent and for my bonus action,

if I have one, where are we?

I can't do Healing Word on myself, can I?

No, I can't do that.

Just for fun, I'm going to turn invisible

to see what happens? [laughter]

MATT: Okay.

(poofs) The jaws are now chewing something.

(laughs)

You got it.

TALIESIN: I'm going for whatever I got, okay.

MATT: All righty, that ends Caduceus' turn.

Caleb, you're up.

LIAM: The bug is restrained, correct, from the whip?

MATT: Currently, yes.

LIAM: Yeah, okay, so the cat's claw,

Cat's Ire is going to drop Fjord, let go,

and just shred the bug.

MATT: All righty. TRAVIS: You also have advantage

because-- LIAM: Because it's restrained.

TRAVIS: Sorry, Beau.

LIAM: So Fjord, you get pushed out of the way and drop,

like (grunts