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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Real Time with Bill Maher 503

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♪ ♪

- Right here, with me.

[cheers and applause]

Thank you very much.

Okay.

[indistinct]

I know, I know.

It's exciting.

Thank you. I appreciate it.

Thank you very much.

Thank you. I-I...[laughs]

I don't know why you're happy tonight, but I--

you are, that's good.

I know, you're proud to be an American

because it's been five days without a massacre.

How about that, ladies and gentlemen?

How about a hand for ourselves?

Oh, what a shitty week, right?

Poor El Paso and Dayton,

still reeling from two disasters--

a mass shooting and a Trump visit.

Just... [laughter]

[applause]

Every--yeah.

Every city in the coun--

everyone is asking the same questions.

Why? Why? Why?

Why does his hair look like that?

What the fuck?

[laughter]

Well, the president is off for a well,

well-earned two-week vacation,

which will be different from working how?

They want you to know president will be available at all times

if there's an emergency that needs to be made worse.

He is completely good on that.

[stammers] Well, we know...

[cheers and applause]

Well, we know now this pattern that we have always seen

whenever there's a tragedy.

It's all about how he's feeling, right?

It's like, "Is he okay?"

This week, after the massacres,

he attacked the media, Obama,

Google, Sherrod Brown, the mayor of Dayton,

Beto, California, Sleepy Joe.

He's the only president

who thinks "consoler-in-chief" means you console him.

[laughter]

[applause]

And also, he's a whiny little bitch.

[cheers and applause]

[chuckles]

But seriously, Mr. President,

don't console us.

Really. We don't--I know.

Well-inten--don't console us.

And mostly, stay out of hospitals.

We--right?

I mean, we have seen what he does in these situations.

Like, you know, he threw paper towels to hurricane victims.

What does he do in a hospital? Throw Tylenol?

I mean, these poor people.

Imagine waking up from surgery and...

[laughter]

Standing over you is this grinning, gaseous blob

and his scowling trophy wife.

People are like, "Shit, I must've died and went to hell."

[cheers and applause]

[chuckles] Please.

They're like, "I'm in the hospital.

I've had enough orange Jell-O."

[laughter]

[laughs]

But of course you can't tell him he's unpopular.

His new press spokesman drank the Kool-Aid.

He said, "Oh, yeah, Trump went to the hospital."

They said they treated him like a rock star.

Yeah, R. Kelly.

[laughter]

None--none of the eight patients

in the El Paso Hospital would agree to meet with Trump.

Isn't that something? They were...

[cheers and applause]

They were all asked, "Would you like to meet the President?"

And they all said, "El Paso."

[laughter]

Here's a sobering statistic.

Gun violence has paralyzed

535 people in this country this year.

They're called the United States Congress.

[laughter, scattered ohs]

[cheers and applause]

Come on, stay with me.

A little faster than that.

No, Americans have made it clear.

They will endure school shootings,

they will endure church shootings,

but they draw the line at their shopping trips to Walmart.

That is too far. [laughter]

So... [laughs]

Well, the shooter in El Paso did it because

all the things that Trump says all the time,

he took to be true, like Mexico is invading.

It's that kind of shit.

He took all that to be true, but in his manifesto,

he wanted everybody to know

that he wasn't getting this from Donald Trump.

No, no, no.

He was getting it from Lou Dobbs--same as Trump.

[laughter]

But... [laughs]

But what he did do, this guy, this shooter,

he wanted you to know-- nothing to do with Trump.

Although in the manifesto,

Trump does get a "story by" credit.

[laughter]

[cheers and applause] But...

it's scary the way some of this stuff

is going so mainstream.

Tucker Carlson of Fox News says,

"White nationalism is a hoax."

You gotta love Republicans. Global warming is a hoax.

Russia--that was a hoax. White nationalism is a hoax.

Hillary Clinton runs a pedophile ring

out of a pizza parlor-- completely true.

[laughter]

That one we know is true. [laughs]

And Tucker's evidence that white nationalism is a hoax?

He says it's because he never met one.

Oh, come on, Tucker. Yes, you have.

[laughter, applause]

Okay, we got a great show.

We have Anthony Scaramucci,

Catherine Rampell, and Tom Nichols.

And here a little later we'll be speaking

with NBC and MSNBC's chief foreign correspondent,

Richard Engel is backstage.

But first up, he is the former Democratic governor of Virginia

and author of "The New York Times'" best-selling book,

"Beyond Charlottesville: Taking a Stand Against

White Nationalism," Terry McAuliffe.

Terry McAuliffe.

How are you, Governor? Good to see you.

How are you? - Great.

- All right.

So you're very apropos for this week.

You're talking about--

Charlottesville was almost exactly two years ago.

Is that right? August-- - Two years ago, Monday.

- Right. Okay.

So what happened in Charlottesville was--

they were out loud and proud.

They came out of the shadows.

- You bet-- came out from under the rocks.

- No mask. [laughs] - Right.

- No masks, right?

These were office park Nazis.

- Yeah.

- Okay, some of them got in trouble for that.

- Yep.

- Now it seems they've gone back underground.

Which is better, to have them out in the open,

or in the shadows?

- Out in the open, get them exposed.

Friday night, if you remember, they came out on the grounds

of the University of Virginia. - Right.

- Hundreds with their torches,

marching onto the campus screaming,

"Jews, you will not replace us. Blood and soil,"

a lot of which you heard 1933, 1934, Nazi Germany.

And then Saturday, a thousand neo-Nazis,

white supremacists, their swastikas,

Adolf Hitler ideology,

and just the most vile things I've ever heard in my life.

- So if Trump is a white nationalist

as a lot of people are saying,

and he has a 42% approval rating,

what does that say to you?

- It's not a good place for our country to be in.

I mean, I wrote this book.

I called them out that... [cheers and applause]

I called them out that day.

He came out as a full-fledged racist

and white nationalist during Charlottesville.

I talked to him that day.

I told the president what was happening.

I begged him to come out.

This was his opportunity to heal the nation.

He didn't.

He came out and said there were good people on both sides.

Bill, there were not good people on the neo-Nazi

and white supremist side.

[cheers and applause]

- I think we can all agree on that.

[laughter] - Sure.

Except for Trump. I mean, he refused to do it.

- Yeah. Okay, so,

do you think this next election

is going to be on the up and up?

- Oh, I'm very concerned.

Russia is gonna be as active as they've ever been,

you know, bills introduced in Congress,

Mitch McConnell won't bring them up.

I'm very concerned.

I mean, I can tell you in Virginia, when I was governor,

I had to replace all the machines

because I remember when I first voted

when I went to Richmond, moved down as governor,

I remember I kept voting in the senate race,

kept voting for the Democrat,

Republican name kept coming up-- three times that happened.

- What do you mean, "kept coming up"?

- So I--you know, we had the touch screens.

I was voting for Mark Warner, our senator,

and Ed Gillespie's name would light up.

Happened to me three times.

Finally the fourth time,

Mark's name, and I quickly hit vote, and I got out of there.

You know, all the cameras are looking at me like,

"This guy doesn't know how to vote."

[laughing] I mean, what's going on?

So then I had an investigation done,

and listen to this.

I brought in some technology experts.

They were able to hack into our machines

from off site in about five or six minutes,

- Yeah. - And within four minutes,

they were able to change a vote.

I decertified all the machines.

Now in Virginia, we have paper ballots.

[cheers and applause]

It's happening.

- Yeah.

So how do you handicap this race so far?

I mean, obviously, the Democratic party,

which you've been a part of and influential in

for a very long time... - Yep.

- They're having a fight as parties do

between the left and the center. - Yeah.

- What is going to carry the day in this elec--

- First of all, I'm confident we're gonna beat Trump.

I mean, I remember that we lost three--

- Well, don't say that.

- No, but I'm confident--

- Yeah, we were confident last time.

It's not a good thing to say. - Well, not as confident,

but listen. - Mm.

- Three states we lost-- - I'm not confident

we're gonna beat Trump, so you better fucking...

- Well... - Be not confident.

Sorry, but... - I'm a glass-overflowing guy.

But we lost three states by 77,000--

- Well, tell that to President Glass.

- 92 million people did not vote.

- Okay. - You gotta get them out.

We gotta fire them up. We gotta win those---

- Well, then don't tell them it's gonna go good.

- All right, we gotta do it. [laughter]

But on the Democratic-- - But okay, so,

what do you think, centrists, or the f--

are you for Medicare for all?

Are you for expanding Obamacare?

- And I hate these labels.

As governor, you know I under-- - Well, that's a policy.

- Got things done. Created record jobs.

- That's policy. Medicare for all or Obamacare?

- Obamacare. - Okay.

- Fix what we have. Take it to the next level.

- Right. [cheers and applause]

- Don't scare people with socialism.

- No, but the idea you're attacking Joe Biden

for President Obama's policies,

who was one of our most popular presidents--

doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

That is a dumb strategy. - So are you for Biden?

Is that who your m-- your person that--

- Listen, I love them all.

I've known the vice president the longest.

I think he's got a great message.

I think he has the best chance of beating Trump.

- But I mean, this week, he said a couple of things...

- Yeah. - That...

[laughter] - Yeah.

- I mean, you know he doesn't mean it.

- Yeah. - You know,

he said something about

poor kids are just as smart as white kids.

- Yeah. - And then he said,

"We believe in facts, not truth."

- Truth, yeah.

[laughter] - No, truth over facts.

- [laughs]

- There's going to be some senior moments.

- Yes. - With Joe Biden, right?

Don't we just have to get used to that,

that there is go-- I--do you think--

now and people are gonna try to link that to, like,

can he actually do the job?

I don't think there is a realistic link there.

I don't think he's about to push the button,

or he thinks he's moving the remote,

and he blows up Russia.

[stammers] I don't. I don't.

- Right, and he a guy who's lied--

just certified--

10,000 times since he's been in office,

you're gonna talk to me about Joe Biden?

You got Trump out there every single day

and he can't tell the truth? I mean, come on.

- But I'm just saying.

- I'll take that mantle any day of the week.

- We need to just... [cheers and applause]

- Right? We're with that?

They're with us here. - Yes, of course.

[both laugh]

If they're not with you here, you're in trouble, governor.

- I love this crowd here. - Of course you do.

But I'm just saying.

We need to get used to the fact

that if he's the nominee,

there's going to be some senior moments,

and we can't lose our shit every time there's one.

- I agree, yeah. - Okay, great.

[laughter] - I'm with you.

It was a two-hour speech, I guess,

in Iowa the other day,

and he made one or two small mista--but lis--

the bigger issue, we're running against Trump.

I mean, people gotta keep their eye on the ball.

The one thing in these debates though, Bill, I gotta tell you.

You know, I hate the back and forth, the negativity.

We need some joyful warriors out there,

but we gotta start talking about issues

that the public cares about--

lower prescription drug cost.

I haven't heard K12. I haven't heard infrastructure.

I haven't heard cyber security.

I haven't heard workforce training.

People at home want us to talk to them about the issues...

- You're so right. Yeah.

- So... [applause]

And, you know,

we haven't seen much of Obama,

which I think is good.

We're--'cause, you know, that's our big secret weapon,

I think, at the end of the race.

People don't really pay attention

until after Halloween of next year.

- Yeah, yeah. - So--okay.

- And let's throw Michelle in there too.

- Yeah, and Michelle. Yes, that's--absolutely.

[cheers and applause] Maybe more.

Maybe moreso.

The other big weapon we used to have

is your boy, Bill Clinton.

- Yeah. - But he can't do it now

because we forgave him for 20 years,

and then--I never saw this-- we un-forgave him.

It was like, "You're forgiven-- oh, no, we forgot.

We hate you again." What--

- [laughs] - What...[laughs]

- He's looking pretty smart now

on the assault weapon ban he did in 1994.

- Right, exactly, yeah. - How about that?

- So... [cheers and applause]

- And now it's coming back. It's back in vogue.

I mean, you looked at mass shootings

when that passed in 1994,

and then Bush let it expire,

mass shootings went back up again.

You know, there were some good things.

I mean, this gun control, it is out of control.

- So how are the Clintons doing?

You're close with them. Are they doing okay?

- Yeah, sure, I mean, they're--

they both have had spectacular lives.

I mean, he was a great president,

left with the highest approval rate of any two-term president.

- You know, neither one of them ever did this show.

- Well, that was a mistake. - Exactly.

Thank you. Governor.

Governor Terry McAuliffe.

That's all I wanted to hear.

All right, tell them to come now.

All right, let's meet our panel.

Thank you.

♪ ♪

Exactly. That was a mistake.

I always said that. Okay, here they are.

He's a "USA Today" contributor

and author of "The Death of Expertise:

The Campaign against Established Knowledge and Why It Matters."

Tom Nichols. Tom, great to have you here...

[cheers and applause] For the first time.

She's an op-ed columnist for "The Washington Post"

and CNN political commentator, Catherine Rampell,

our returning champion.

And he's the former White House communications director

under President Trump and author of,

"Trump: The Blue-Collar President,"

the happy warrior, Anthony Scaramucci.

The Mooch. How are you?

Okay. [crowd chatters]

They're saying, "mooch."

- They're saying mooch. I could never hear a boo, Bill.

- Okay, so another grim week.

If you watch this show to catch up on the news,

I'll just tell you the brief.

20-year-old white male in El Paso

who, as I said in the monologue,

was taking his cues from Trump,

bought his gun legally,

and a 24-year-old white male again in Dayton--

this guy had left-wing stuff...

[scoffs] that we found.

Um...

this is a little more crazy, this guy.

He had kill lists and rape lists

and this is, like, the mental part of it.

That's what I'm saying. I think gun laws, we can--

I think we a--let's just say from the outside.

Do we all agree?

Background checks-- I mean, that's, like,

91% of the country is for that.

Let's not argue or talk about the things

everybody's saying all week--

we all agree on that--

block gun sales to mentally-disturbed people,

right, manditate three-day waiting period.

Okay, so we're all on the-- the country's on this.

- Red flag laws. - Red flag la--okay.

[cheers and applause]

I think if you passed all that,

it would be, like, when they

stopped us from smoking wherever we wanted to

and then crippled the tobacco companies.

It would make smoking go down,

but people still smoke

and die of lung cancer.

My question--let's go deeper.

Why are we so mentally unwell in this country?

Trump is mentally unwell but he's not wrong when he says--

- You know what? I'm sorry.

If--first of all, Republicans love to talk about

how they really think the real problem is mental illness.

I am all for greater treatment of mental illness,

but if Republicans actually gave a damn

about treating mental illness,

they wouldn't have spent the last ten years

trying to repeal Obamacare. - Yes.

That's not the question I'm asking.

[laughs]

- Mental--

- I'm asking why are so many Americans

so unhappy? [overlapping chatter]

Why is there so much frothing hate and frustration out there?

- Opioid addiction,

family dysfunction... - But that's a symptom.

Why, why do we--what makes someone take opioids?

- We're asking the wrong question because...

- [laughs] - We need to think about

why is this society producing so many angry, young male losers...

- That's my question, yes. - Who are trying to kill people

because you're right.

I mean, get rid of the guns, that'll cut down the body count.

But some of these guys have done things like

plow cars into piles of people.

McVeigh used a truck bomb.

There's something else going on in the culture

where we're producing these kind of angry,

alienated losers that wanna do a lot of violence

in their own society... - But--

- And the Democrats go down the road of gun control,

the Republicans go down the road of mental health,

and nobody wants to talk about the larger cultural problem

that's been going on for about 30 years.

- There are mentally-unwell people in Denmark.

There are mentally-unwell people in Australia.

We don't arm them.

[cheers and applause] - Of co--I said--

yes, but I'm sorry, no.

That's not--I don't think Denmark is like America.

I don't think there are that many unhappy, frustrated people.

It's because Denmark takes care of people,

and this is a winner and loser country.

- That's what it is. - You're either a winner,

and if you're not a winner, you're a loser.

We couldn't give a fuck what happens to you,

and people say, "You know what?

You leave me with nothing. I'll leave you nothing."

- I am all for expanding the social safety net.

Look, we agree on that. - It's--

- I just don't think that that's gonna be the cure-all

for dealing with violence. - Neither one is cure-all.

- A guy in Japan just burned down a building

with an anime factory with 33 people in it.

China has knife attacks.

Canada, Australia, and Norway have had mass shooters.

There's something going on-- we're in heated agreement.

We all agree. - [laughs]

- Do what we have to do about the guns.

That's fine, but in the meantime,

you're creating homicidal young men,

and we haven't really thought about why we're doing that.

- The Ohio guy killed his sister.

I don't think bump stocks, whatever they are,

is gonna solve that.

- But the larger problem

is economic rent attribution, right?

Basically, profits in the society

when they go 50/50 between capital and labor,

we, in general, have a very happy period in this society.

- Right.

- If you look at capital and labor attribution right now,

Bill, it's 60/40.

In the United Kingdom, it's 56/44,

and they're voting for a Brexit.

And so what ends up happening is,

you get the combination of

family dysfunction, personal unhappiness,

lack of opportunity, economic desperation,

and access to weaponry,

and that's a very toxic mix for sure.

- And let's bring the pres-- - Well--

- Yeah--okay, all right. - I mean,

it's--it's--look. - I know.

- If you're gonna go on and on about

the division between capital and labor,

I agree.

These are things we should address.

Then maybe we shouldn't have had a tax cut

that transferred $2 trillion... - You're right.

- You know, to corporations and the wealthy.

- You're talking about more--

you're talking about more of a social safety net,

and that's not the answer because you need to put people

and their lives in a position of self-determination.

Just giving people stuff is not gonna--

- By taking away their health care?

- These aren't-- these aren't poor people.

These are narcissistic young men

with a serious sense of grievance and injury

that is completely unrelated to reality.

I mean, these are guys--

whether it's the Dayton shooter, the Dallas shooter,

I mean, these are guys that have a particular personality profile

and it's not economic anxiety. That's not what's doing it.

- As long as we're talking about mental health,

I must say about Trump.

Now we did an editorial here a little while ago

that said the narcissism.

I know everybody talks about it,

but they talk about it like it's a quirk,

and what I was saying was, it's not a quirk.

Malignant narcissist personality disorder,

it's a real thing.

If he was a schizophrenic or bipolar,

we would take it much more seriously.

[cheers and applause] He...

And unfortunately,

it makes him a great politician

because he can do what politicians--

what they need to do--

talk out of two sides of his mouth.

[laughter] Let me--

I think we can bring-- this is what he said this week.

"I think we can bring up big background checks

like we've never had before."

- [scoffs] - Next day.

"The NRA's very strong views

will be represented and respected in Congress."

Like they're not.

Last year when there was the shooting,

he said--remember this?

They had that big conclave.

He said, "I like taking the guns early.

Take the guns first. Go through due process second."

And the way the right wing just pretends he never said it--

because the expectations for this mental patient

are so low.

Joe Biden says one little thing,

and it's like, "Oh, my God. Biden's senile."

And this guy-- I saw him on the lawn today--

frothing and spitting and sweating

and, like, pacing like a caged animal and lying

and going off his head on a million different things,

and that's okay because the bar is nowhere for him.

This is one of our big disadvantages.

[cheers and applause] - Can I say something?

- What about--what about-- - Defend your friend.

[laughter] - Well, I--I--

well, I try to-- - I mean that in a nice way,

Mr. President. - By the way. By the way.

I do try to defend him, but there's certain things

that he's done that are actually indefensible

and you've seen me and we've talked about it.

I can't defend-- - Oh, I know.

- And I've been very-- very outspoken about

certain things that he's doing,

but here's the one thing I would say to him.

I would really caution him because

he is going to break that rock.

If you hit the rock 50 times,

it may not break on the 49th time,

but the 50th time when it breaks, Bill,

he's gonna shatter the support that he thinks he has

because it's a little bit like McCarthyism

in the following respect.

It burnt out in a supernova.

And once it burnt out, everybody woke up and said,

"Oh, jeez, I didn't really like Joe McCarthy."

And so what I'm astonished by

is the lack of courage of Republican elected leaders

not to pick up the phone... [cheers and applause]

And call him out or call him out on TV or say,

"Hey, you know, we like a lot of your policies.

"We like a lot of direction.

I'm not in love with the trade situation,"

which I know we're gonna talk about,

"but what are you doing, because what you're doing

"is you're making it almost impossible

for us to defend and/or advocate for you."

- I think it's beyond that they need to pick up the phone

and tell him to stop saying the stupid, racist shit,

it's that they need to distance themselves from him,

and so do you, frankly, I mean...

- Well-- - Like...

[cheers and applause]

[stammers] If you object...

[both stammering]

- I'm an Amer-- I love my country.

- You can love your country and hate the racism

in our--in our White House.

- And I spoke out against the racism,

but I'm also a loyal friend.

I'm gonna pick up the phone and talk to him,

and I'm gonna tell him the truth,

or I'm gonna say it on television.

- But you act like this is a one-off slip of the tongue.

This is his whole career. - I didn't say that it was--

I don't walk away from people,

particularly people that are

doing the toughest job in the world, okay?

Every single person in this room is an American.

We are united.

We have to figure it out together.

If he is going to fail, beat him at the ballot box,

but in the meantime, over the next 15 months,

let's talk to him and say,

"Hey, why don't you knock off some of this nonsense?"

- But you can't talk to him because he's got that

narcissistic thing I'm talking about.

[overlapping chatter]

- The rock will break.

- And when do we-- and when do we stop

treating him like he's a misbehaving 7th grader

who needs some kind of parental supervision?

He's the President of the United States.

He has the most powerful job in the world,

and he wanted that job.

And now he says, "Feel bad for me

because it's really hard."

If you didn't want the job, you shouldn't have run for it.

- It's a disease in his... - Yeah, and...[stammers]

I'm sorry.

I can't get over the racism stuff.

It's not like this is a one-off thing.

It wasn't just Charlottesville.

It wasn't, you know, "Go back to where you came from."

- But I did hear him condemn that, and--

- Yeah, but this is-- this goes back to the '70s.

This goes back to, like,

when the Nixon administration thought Trump was too racist.

Like, do you know how hard-- how racist you have to be

for the Nixon administration to think you're too racist?

[laughter] - You know what? He...

[stammers]

- I think it's-- I think it's unfair--

- He sued me in 2013.

That was because I was making fun of his racism, okay?

- I think you called him an orange, by the way.

- I'm not picking on you.

I'm picking on someone else. - I know--racism bad, you good.

[laughter] - I think it's unfair--

it's unfair to say, "Walk away from your friend."

On the other hand, you can't say,

"Look, I just don't support this president anymore,

and I can't be associated with this."

Friendship is one thing, but as a political--

- Can I just demonstrate--

- And I've said this on TV. I'll say it again here.

There's many people that have been inside the administration

that have supported the president,

cabinet officials, former cabinet officials,

former military, that are ready to do that if he keeps it up.

And I've said that very publicly.

- One more little thing to demon--

- On the flip side, you don't just

walk away from your friends.

The guy's got the toughest job in the world.

Let's play it straight-- - I don't know if the way--

I don't know if the way he does it

is the toughest job in the world.

He comes down to the office at 11:00, okay?

- [laughs] - You don't think

it's the toughest job in the world though?

- The way he does it, I don't think it's tough.

- This is a pretty tough job right here.

- He doesn't read, Anthony. - I gotta be honest with you.

- If you don't read, come on. [cheers and applause]

But he doesn't read.

- The toughest-- the toughest--

- It's not like he's like, "Toughest job.

"Give me those briefing books.

"I gotta lock myself in the residence for four hours

and study this shit."

That's not how he does the job.

- Toughest job in the world

are the people who have to brief him.

That's the toughest job in the world.

- Or defend some of the nonsense.

That's a tough job too, but-- but listen, listen.

I--I'm with you on a lot of that stuff.

I've been very honest about it. - All right, let's stop arguing.

But I just... [laughter]

I just--just one more little thing to show--

but I'm talking about the insanity that we just accept--

this is him talking about

creating the jobs with the arms deal

that we're selling to Saudi Arabia, okay?

March 20th, 2018.

"We're talking about over 40,000 jobs."

October 17th.

"It's 500,000 jobs."

[laughter] I'm quoting here.

October 19th, two days later.

"600,000 jobs."

June 23rd, 2019.

"It's a million jobs and probably more."

Okay, either he's lying,

or he has no sense of reality.

- Can't it be both?

- There's gotta be grounds for something.

So ICE raided a food processing plant

in Mississippi yesterday, right?

700 people--the workers.

This is what I don't get about his supporters,

the blue-collar people you talk about.

They never get the bait and switch.

All the workers were arrested.

Nobody from management.

Isn't this a two-way street?

If you're hiring illegals...

[cheers and applause]

- Well, a bit--

I mean, if he went after management,

he'd have to go after himself.

- Right. Mar-a-Lago. - That's the problem.

Or today, my newspaper, "The Washington Post,"

had a story about how Trump is still employing

undocumented workers on construction crews

at his golf courses and at his wineries.

So, you know, it would be--

he's in a tough position here.

Is he gonna arrest himself? [laughter]

- This is the great con that they've pulled

on working people for so long,

thinking that their way to the American dream

is being blocked by immigrants

and single moms on food stamps

instead of Jared Kushner and the Koch brothers.

You know, where'd all the money go?

Not to these immigrants,

who were working at the fucking chicken factory.

- Can we talk about the raid for one second?

The thing that distresses me

is the harshness of it,

and it's almost like-- - ICE, you mean?

- Yeah, it's almost like a martial act, okay?

- Horrible. - And so,

at the end of the day... - It's just disgusting.

- I don't care who you are, but if you have children,

or you have family members,

you have to just think about what they just did, okay?

So I find it reprehensible.

I have no problem speaking out against it.

- Right.

- But we have a very big problem, Bill,

is that both sides are not

willing to solve the immigration problem.

- Oh, don't "both sides" this. - They're locked--

- Don't "both sides" this! [crowd murmurs]

- Wait, he's talking about the bigger problem of immigration.

- Of course I am. - So, wait--

- I'm talking about the bigger problem.

She wants to have a fight,

and I'm ready for the fight if you want to have it,

but I'm just letting you know

that the Congress is not moving,

the President is not moving,

and we're stuck here now--

- But there have been many bills.

- There was a deal. There was a deal last year.

- There was a deal, and then they ran out

and said, "shithole countries" on the guy.

He was ready to sign the deal. - No, that is false.

- The problem with this conversation--

- He said, "Not unless you cut legal immigration in half."

- The problem with this conversation

is we're pretending that the president understands policy,

and he doesn't. - Right.

- He doesn't understand a thing about this.

This is theater. - All right.

Let me just go on--

- Whether he understands policy or not,

what happened at this ICE situation is disgusting.

- Yes, yes, okay. - It's disgusting.

- I agree, but-- - We can talk about policy

whether he understands it...

- I wanna mention something that's going on

in the big presidential race.

Elizabeth Warren is now in second place.

[cheers and applause] She's surging.

I mean,

I love Bernie, but Warren is the new Sanders.

That's just what the polls say,

and we have to concentrate on beating Trump. Okay.

- Be a 40-state landslide by President Trump

if she gets the nomination.

- Okay, well, maybe so. - 40-state landslide.

- But for right now,

I'm just gonna say she's got a plan for that.

- You may even vote for Trump. - She--I'm doing a bit.

Shut up. - I'm sorry.

- [laughs]

So yes, she has-- everything with Elizabeth

is always she got a plan for that.

In fact, that's her swag. Oh, there it is.

Everything is, you know,

"Warren has a plan for that."

You know, I say to people, everything?

Yes. I was surprised.

I thought it was just health care and education.

No, she has a plan for everything.

For example, if you get stood up at a restaurant,

she has a plan for that.

[laughter]

Pretend you're a food critic.

That's... [laughter]

She--I didn't realize she had a plan,

like, for everything. [cheers and applause]

She has a plan.

Put Visine in one eye.

Your boss will think you have pink eye

and give you the day off. [laughter]

This woman, I'm telling you, is fantastic.

- I wish you didn't say that in front of my kids.

- [laughs]

If you can't afford a plane ticket for your child,

she has a plan.

Tell the stewardess he's your companion midget.

[laughter, applause]

If you accidentally pee your pants--

Oh, my God. She got a plan for that?

Yes.

Say someone spilled their glass on your crotch...

[laughing] And they were drinking piss.

[laughter]

If you fart on an elevator, she has a plan.

Turn to the closest person and say, "Excuse you."

[laughter]

If you have a ghost in your house

and you want them to leave--

Wow, that is really a plan for everything.

She has plan.

Try talking to the ghost about Bitcoin.

[laughter]

And if there's a zombie outbreak in L.A.

and you don't want to be eaten,

she's got a plan.

Cover yourself in gluten.

Okay, he is the NBC News'

chief foreign correspondent and host of MSNBC's

"On Assignment with Richard Engel."

Please welcome-- Richard Engel is over here.

♪ ♪

Richard.

Always good to see you safe. - Good to see you.

- Knowing what a dangerous job you have.

Where have you been lately

that you're so thankful you're back from?

Iran?

- I've spent a lot of time in the Persian Gulf.

Actually, you were talking about climate.

I just got back from Iceland. - Oy.

- And I was standing on a glacier,

and it was melting beneath my feet.

- Yeah.

- And I was watching the water just drain into the--

into the land.

- I know someone who just went to Alaska and said,

"We wanted to fly over the glaciers."

And they said, "It's too hot." - Yeah.

- So one glacier there in Iceland is dead.

It's gone.

And I spoke to the leading

environmental scientist in the country.

He said all of them are gonna go.

He said even if we did all the things

that are proposed right now,

the inertia of what we've done so far

is already too much that the glaciers there are all gonna go.

- Have a great weekend, everybody.

[laughter] - Yeah, so...

- That's--yeah. Well, no.

We have to talk about that stuff.

But let's talk about where you have been.

- I was at a white supremacist neo-Nazi rally.

Wanna hear another piece of good news?

- Yeah.

- Related to the conversation earlier.

- Covering it, I assume.

- Yes, yes, yes. [laughter]

No, I had a small booth there. I was selling T-shirts.

So I was at a neo-Nazi rally. - Right.

- In Germany, of all places, and...

- Oh, I thought they couldn't have them in Germany.

- No, they can,

but you're not allowed to display a swastika

or you can't do the open-handed salute.

- Wow.

- So all these people-- this was a really ugly crowd.

They had the swastika tattoos, but they covered them,

or they take a magic marker and they fill it in

so it doesn't look like a swastika.

And they do a closed-hand salute instead.

So the interesting thing related to this conversation is,

as I walked in,

and all the other people walked in,

they were handed a red baseball cap.

- Ah, yeah. - And I spoke to the...

- The international symbol now. - The director.

And it said "ma-ga" on it.

- Of course. - Not MAG--not the US.

"Make Germany Hate Again."

- Wow.

- And this was just, you know, recently.

- Well, a lot of Europe has changed.

I know that's something you also cover.

We were talking about immigration a minute ago.

I mean, even Hillary Clinton said,

"Europe has to get a handle on its immigration."

I mean, many people who are not conservative people

have made the same point, that the reason why

so many of these nationalist parties are rising in Europe

is because the citizenry doesn't think that

the liberals can protect them

from the kind of immigration that would inundate them.

- Well, there is this-- this theory.

It's actually a theory that unites all of these shooters

that are across the U.S. that are opening fire,

and the right-wing movements in Europe.

And they call it "the great replacement."

There've been articles written about it in a lot of newspapers.

And it's a conspiracy theory that says that

there is a plot by industrialists,

Jews, and others,

to take all of the people from the Muslim world

from the non-white world,

and send them up to Europe and the United States

in order to destroy the existing system.

And this concept has been written about

in the manifestos that have been published,

and it is the same kind of thing

that we heard at this neo-Nazi rally,

and it's the same kind of thing you hear

in a lot of mainstream right-wing politicians.

So it's about anti-immigration, and then you take it

a little bit further and you say,

"Ah, it's not just about

"uncontrolled migration or immigration.

"It's a plot to destroy civilization as we know it,

"and therefore, we need to fight back

and open fire in shopping malls and schools and things..."

- Well, I--there have been some, I thought,

positive things I've read in the news lately

about the Arab world.

Three countries in the-- North Africa--

Algeria, Tunisia, Morocco-- banned face veils,

which six European countries have done.

[cheers and applause]

66% of 18 to 24 Arabs say,

"Religion plays too big a role in the Middle East."

Wow. That's what I've been saying.

- [laughs] - 79% say,

"The Arab world needs to reform its religion,"

and last week in Saudi Arabia, they changed the law.

A woman does not need a guardian to leave the house.

[cheers and applause]

[chuckles]

I must say the fact that that gets applause is

the very definition of the soft bigotry of low expectations.

[laughter]

- What I'm watching more closely

in the Middle East at the moment is--

I think there's a real possibility

that there could be some sort of low-level conflict with Iran.

And while there's some social changes going on

in the Arab world because

there's more authoritarian regimes, frankly, returning,

there are also-- there is this danger

that the situation in the Persian Gulf,

which is already dangerous--

one could say we're already in a very low-level conflict--

could escalate a couple of notches--

because Iran feels it has been forced into a corner.

The sanctions on it are...

- People are starving, yeah. - People are--people are--

are struggling to survive.

There's shortages of medicines, and--

- What do they have to lose?

- That's exactly what it comes to.

There are people-- there are hard-liners

who want this conflict outside of Iran,

and there are some even in Iran,

particularly in Revolutionary Guard who say,

"We're dead anyway.

"If we do nothing,

"the sanctions will kill us.

So we may as well try to--"

They don't want a war necessarily,

but they want something that will change the dynamic.

And they look at history, they look at Saddam Hussein,

Saddam Hussein's Iraq, and they saw what happened to--

and Iran fought a war,

a very bloody war with Iraq. - Of course, yeah.

- So they know what a tough enemy Iraq was,

and then they saw what a decade of sanctions

on Saddam Hussein's Iraq did.

By the time the U.S. invaded, the army didn't work.

The soldiers-- the weapons didn't work.

Nothing--the country folded in 21 days.

So they think, "If we do nothing, we're dead anyway.

Look at what happened to Saddam."

- And now Iran has Iraq.

So let's talk China.

You brought it up.

Trump says, "Trade wars are good and easy to win."

Spoken like a true barfly.

[laughter]

I think if Democrats could stop talking about...

[laughs] you know, 1994,

they could make a real great campaign point out of this

because trade wars are not good for anybody.

They're not helping the farmers.

They're not helping consumers. It's a tax.

I think--

Morgan Stanley says--

well, first of all, they make the point that

recession's usually brought on by a tax,

a tax raise, and that's exactly what

tariffs are.

They said, "We would see the global economy

entering recession in three quarters."

Perfect timing, I say.

I mean, I've been rooting for a recession,

and Sean Hannity says I'm evil for that,

and I'm bringing it on-- Sean, if you're watching,

I'm not a genie. I can't make it happen.

I'm just wishing it.

If it happens, it'll be because of your lord and savior,

Donald J. Trump.

[cheers and applause]

- [stammers] The problem is,

is that when you go to war,

as Richard knows 'cause he's been in wartime situations,

you need preparation and planning.

And so what happened with this trade war

is we dropped a bomb in the situation

without full coordination with our allies--

the Europeans, as an example.

We could've teamed up with the Europeans.

It would've been 46% of the economic output of the world,

650 million people, and then we could've collectively bargained

with the Chinese, and then, Bill,

rather than doing these unpredictable tariff roulette,

we could've said to everybody,

"Okay, here's what we're gonna do.

"2% tariffs a quarter

"until we get up to where the Chinese are taxing our goods

going into their country."

And it would've given everybody in the United States,

business leaders large and small,

the opportunity to adjust to the tariffs.

I think even--

- Did you ever say anything like that to Trump?

- 100%. - Would he understand it?

- 100%. I wrote an op-ed about it in the "FT" last year.

- But that would be reading. - There's actually--

- Did you ever say it to him? - Of course.

- You did? You actually said it to him?

And what was his--did he look like he was absorbing that?

[laughter] Seriously.

- Well, this is one of the problems.

He wants to do it his way.

He took a machine gun known as his Twitter account

and shot in a 360 degree circle, and then dropped the gun.

- I don't think China is really--

really upset about what's going on right now.

I don't think they're sweating it.

They're very happy with us tearing ourselves apart.

- By the way, Anthony's idea is not unique to you.

In fact, Barack Obama tried it.

It was called The Trans-Pacific Partnership.

It wasn't teaming up with the Europeans.

It was teaming up with our Pacific Rim allies.

- TPP. - TPP.

And among Trump's first orders of business,

was to pull us out of it. - Yes.

To be fair, Bernie Sanders also against it.

- And most of the Democrats. - Secretary Clinton went

against it later in her campaign.

- I mean, this was an attempt to

kind of put a wall, excuse the term,

around China taking over the world because kinda--

you know this better than anybody--

China is kinda taking over the world.

I cannot pick up the paper one week without reading about them

in some country, African countries,

South American countries... - You know about the--

- Building ports, the electrical grid...

- The Belt and Road initiative. - The roads, yes.

- Most people in America don't know what it is.

It's called the Belt and Road initiative.

It has a terrible name. It's hard to remember.

It's a boring name. - The old town road initiative.

Yes.

- They are building infrastructure

all around the world.

They are constructing a new Silk Road

in order to establish a new, modern trade route

that leads back to Beijing, and it is happening now.

- This moment, I don't believe that the President understands

what a tariff is... [laughter]

And that's part of the problem. [cheers and applause]

This is what happens when every policy

is merely an attempt to kind of push a button

to get a narcissistic jolt from the base.

And so, that's why he's-- - Or undo Obama, you know?

I feel like undoing the Iran deal

is the same thing as undoing Obamacare.

Let's just blow it up. We know it was bad

'cause Obama did it. - And TPP.

- And then there are farmers out there saying,

"Well, he must know what he's doing."

I guess they're just gonna have to keep

touching this hot sto-- I'm not wishing for a recession.

- Neither am I. - But if the farmers wanna...

- Well, you should wish for a recession,

'cause that will definitely get him unelected.

- Okay, but, Bill, you don't really want a recession.

- I really do. - You're gonna knock--

- We have survived many recessions.

We can't survive another Donald Trump term.

- You're gonna knock lower-income people out of work.

[cheers and applause] You really don't want it.

- I do. - Beat him at the ballot box

and in the intellectual marketplace of ideas.

You don't wanna knock those people out of work.

But to Tom's point, the tariff...

- I don't want to.

- He--I think what he's saying is,

short-term pain might be better than the long-term

destruction of the constitution.

- Thank you very much.

- A tariff is a regressive tax.

Lower middle-income people pay it.

- Yes. - Small business people pay it.

The Chinese are not paying the tariff, so--

- Right. - Yes.

We have four studies to prove this.

- I wish he would stop saying that.

You know, I have a cousin in the auto glass business,

$10,000 bill last month

if he raises the tariffs again September 1st,

he's gonna take his business out of business.

He's not even gonna be able to afford the tariff

that he is paying. - The other issue is,

it's not even clear what the Chinese have to do at this point

to appease Trump.

Trump does not know what he wants.

We have legitimate grievances against China,

but those are not the things that he's picking on them for.

So how do you negotiate across the table with someone

who can't even define what victory is?

I mean, how do you even know what concessions to make?

- You call "Fox & Friends" and tell them to do it.

[laughter]

[cheers and applause]

- He had a deal on the table that he thought he gather--

honestly, he had a deal in April.

They thought they were very close to the deal,

and the Chinese pulled back on a few things.

They have a culture of re-trading situations,

but then we let the thing get out of control because

what do you know about wars? They're not easy to win.

And without-- a lack of preparation,

a lack of planning,

you get the doctrine of unintended consequences,

what we have right now. - Okay, so--

- Which is now a currency war, by the way.

- I saw a report you did last night on Brian Williams.

- No, you didn't. Brian Williams?

- Yeah, he showed your report. - Oh, okay, fine.

I thought--it was on "Nightly News" originally.

- Okay, well, I can't--you know,

when times are this tough, I can only--

- You're still working at l-- you're watching at night.

- I could only take my news from Brian Williams.

- [laughs] - I swear to God.

He's the only one I can hear at this point when it's this bad.

- Got it. - So, okay

So they showed your report about how--

this is really interesting--

how Russia is exploiting our racial problems.

Russia has historians too,

and they understand that the original sin of this country

and the still-bleeding wound is racism.

And so the report was about how they made--

you know, you've seen these viral videos

of everyday racism--

a white lady photographing black people just doing nothing,

but she's freaking out about it.

It was Russia who made those go viral.

They know this is the way to get us to hate each other.

- So exploiting an adversary or an enemy's divisions,

internal divisions, is a classic strategy, right?

Divide and conquer.

You wanna focus on your enemy's weaknesses

and put pressure on them.

And in the era of social media, that's really easy.

So there are these videos-- legitimate videos--

- Yes. They're real videos.

- A woman comes outside, a white woman,

and she's furious because there's a taco truck

parked in front of her house.

And somebody films her saying, "I'm gonna call ICE,"

on the people who operate the taco trucks,

and everyone gets hysterical.

"Look at this racist white woman attacking two people who just--

or a few people selling tacos," right?

So these videos get posted. Everybody shares them.

But there are actual algorithms to make a video go viral.

They don't happen-- it doesn't happen by accident.

- And that's Russia. - Somebody has to push it.

- Right.

- And this study that I focused on last night

said that in a variety of these videos,

dozens of these videos, which people have all seen,

it was Russia pushing them,

promoting them-- Russian bots

to make them pop up into your Twitter account.

- This is called Soviet line. - This is an old Soviet trick.

- This is the soviet line, and it's--

and it's terrifying because

Soviet propaganda was really ham-fisted and stupid

and not that effective.

They've taken the Soviet line that America--

I spent a lot of time in the Soviet Union

at the beginning of my career,

and if you talk to ordinary Soviet citizens,

they say, "America's on the verge of a race war."

Every minute.

But that was the Soviet government pushing that.

Now you have the Soviet line

pumped on steroids... - Yes.

- Through social media and it's aimed not just at us,

it's aimed at the Russians as well to say, you know,

"Look at this--this utopia we've created here

"of white Christians.

Don't be like the Americans."

I mean, this is an attack on all fronts,

and we're just not doing anything about it.

- How do you stop it? Is there a way to stop it?

- I think you have to educate people.

You have to educate people

how to interact with the media.

I think you have to work at trying to reduce

some of the rage in our society. You were talking earlier.

Why is our society so angry?

Why do people drive on the streets

with their white knuckles and they're so mad all the time?

And I think it's because we're not taking care of each other,

and we're not taking care of ourselves.

- I agree with you.

- We're not taking care of our medical care.

We're-- - Look at our policy.

We have no industrial policy, no infrastructure policy,

no education policy.

The Chinese were talking about they have 25 and 50-year plans.

- [laughing] I thought he was gonna fix everything.

"I'm the--I'm the one who can fix it all."

- You know that nobody-- - "I alone can fix it."

- Nobody can fix everything. - It hasn't--okay.

- But, you know, John Kennedy had a ten-year plan

to get to the moon. That seemed to work out.

We don't have plans anymore. - Yeah, but the actual policies

that he is pursuing are exacerbating

all of those inequalities.

- There's that little thing, yeah.

- You know, taking away healthcare,

giving more tax cuts to the rich, none of that is--

- And we're spending a lot of time

listening to rage entrepreneurs,

and the president is the first among them,

of people who just tell us all day long

that we ought to be mad at each other about everything,

that everybody's screwing us over,

and that comes right from the top.

The president is the master of that message.

- This is an angry country right now.

- That's what I'm saying. - I come back--

you know, since I am a foreign correspondent,

I come back episodically, I notice it.

You can feel it. It's an angry place right now.

- All right. - And it's not--

- On that happy note, thank you, panel.

It was very enlightening, but it's time for "New Rules."

Let's have some laughs. [cheers and applause]

Laughs, laughs, laughs. Ooh, hello.

You feel that too, right? Okay, good.

[upbeat rock music]

Okay, new rule: the best way to prevent shark attacks

is by not going in the ocean.

The ocean's their turf.

You'll never be attacked by a shark on land.

Sharks don't come onto land,

because they're afraid they'll get shot.

[laughter and applause]

New rule: the Louisiana woman who was arrested last week

with $6,000 hidden in her vagina [clears throat]

and also a gram of meth in her vagina,

has to do whatever she damn well wants.

[laughter]

She had a vagina full of drugs and money.

What was in her butt, rainbows?

[laughter and applause]

New rule: Someone has to tell me

how I've never seen a "Fast and Furious" movie,

but they still make me bored.

[laughter]

Show me something I don't see every day,

like a really expensive sports car,

but the driver has hair.

[laughter and applause]

New rule: Don't make the catchphrase for your movie,

"For anyone who has ever wanted to dream,"

because that's an awfully low bar.

It's not even for dreamers.

It's for people who have considered dreaming.

You might as well make it,

"For anyone who goes to a movie for the air conditioning."

[laughter and applause]

New rule: Trump has to stop whining

that Fox News isn't loyal enough to him.

[scoffs] If they were any more loyal,

it'd be called "Fox & Friends with Benefits."

[laughter and applause]

He's like that guy in porn who keeps saying,

"suck that dick," while she's sucking that dick.

[laughter and applause]

- Oh, boy.

- I hear.

And finally, new rule: if the Democrats

are going to continue to debate stuff

that happened in the 1970s,

they have to dress in '70s clothing.

[laughter and applause]

If we're going to talk about busing, do it right,

even though nobody under 55 knows what you're talking about.

You may as we be debating denture cream.

But why bring it up at all?

Does anyone really think today's helicopter parents

would be into busing little Harper...

[laughter]

90 minutes away to the poor side of town?

But this is the new trick in Democratic politics.

Dig up something your opponent said decades ago

that looks bad by today's standards

and pretend that that's a mic drop evidence

of your awesome moral superiority.

Kirsten Gillibrand tried to pull

some of that woke, liberal time machine bullshit on Biden,

calling out something he wrote 38 years ago

about women working outside the home.

For more details, visit the National Archives.

[laughter]

It's on microfiche.

[laughter and applause]

Liberals are funny.

They believe in evolution except when it comes to people.

Kamala Harris was our attorney general

here in California in 2010,

and I contributed to her campaign,

and I was disappointed when she opposed

legalizing marijuana.

Well, now she's for it. That's all that matters.

We-- [applause]

We don't need to beat her up about 2010.

That's called learning.

We used to want that in a leader.

Obama was against gay marriage when he became president,

as was most of the country, but then...

- I've been going through an evolution on this issue.

- And do you recall who got him to evolve?

Biden.

[laughter and applause]

Humans evolve.

You could be against gender-inclusive bathrooms,

and then one day change your mind

because you have to take a wicked piss.

[laughter]

People need to stop pretending

that if they were alive back when

they wouldn't have been the same asshole as everyone else.

Yes, you would.

I know your parents told you you're exceptional,

but not to the point of seeing the future.

You would have driven without seatbelts

and drank when you were pregnant

and hit your kids and hit your neighbor's kids.

They did that shit.

Yeah, it took-- remember when they--

Because woke sight is not 20/20,

and you don't have ESPCP:

extrasensory politically correct perception.

[laughter and applause]

If you were around in the 1980s,

you would have worn those horrible colors

and the big shoulder pads.

You just would have. You're not Nostradamus.

And if you were around in the 1780s,

and you were rich and white,

you likely would have had slaves.

The first abolition society in America

was founded in 1775,

and it had 24 members.

24 people in the whole country thought slavery was wrong

the year before we declared independence.

Stop being surprised we used to be dumber than we are now.

The humans of tomorrow will be horrified by us.

They won't believe we used to sexualize people during sex.

[laughter]

Millennials seem to think they came along

right as society met perfection.

[laughter]

Do you really think future generations

will look at what you're doing,

the man buns and the-- [laughter]

the giant, stupid ear-stretching earrings and say,

"That was the moment civilization peaked.

We can add nothing more."

[laughter]

No.

[cheers and applause]

You're not morally better than your grandparents.

You just came later.

You're just the next upgrade.

You're the iPhone 11.

[laughter]

Yeah, it's funny, nobody has trouble

grasping technological evolution.

Nobody writing a love note with a quill ever said,

"Why can't I send a dick pic?"

[laughter]

Nobody in 1975 asked, "Why isn't my TV flat?"

"Why is my 8-track not satellite radio?"

Nobody speaking into that Kleenex box

that we had at first was mad at it

because it wasn't a smartphone yet.

Things get obsolete because we grow and improve,

including us.

Can we please stop pointing out people

breaking rules that didn't exist yet

and just grandfather in the shit

you would have done if you were alive then?

- Mm-hmm. - I--

[cheers and applause]

I'm sorry Joe Biden had to get along with segregationists,

but when he first entered politics,

he had to get along with Aaron Burr.

[laughter]

All right, that's our show.

I'll be at the Smart Financial Centre

in Sugar Land, Texas, September 21st,

at the Civic Center Music Hall in Oklahoma City

September 22nd,

and at Madison Square Garden

in New York City November 9th.

I want to thank my guests, Tom Nichols,

Catherine Rampell, Anthony Scaramucci,

Richard Engel and Terry McAuliffe.

Stay tuned for "Overtime" on YouTube.

Thank you. Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

[dynamic rock music]

♪ ♪

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The Description of Real Time with Bill Maher 503