My name is Michelle
I met Robert about 4 years ago. He came and spoke where I worked.
and, um, I was, um, what he spoke on that day was just about headaches.
and it worked on some people that were my co-workers
but one interesting aspect was, this one girl had a headache
and so he was tapping on it and, all of a sudden, she started crying.
(recording interrupted) so we were
I was asking him some more questions about that and he was saying
Sometimes when you have a headache
it's not about the headache, it's
there's something else going on.
That's just the physical aspect of maybe what, you know, what
She didn't want to talk about whatever it was. (recording interrupted)
...went to a weekend seminar
and that's when we addressed the coca cola issue. My addiction with coca cola.
Um. I was drinking 2 litres, at least, 2 litres a day
Um. I haven't ha... I drink, matter of fact,
I don't even remember the last time I had some.
Like, if I go to the movies I might have a drink or two of it
It doesn't even appeal to me at all any more.
and that happened pretty quick.
and so we dealt with that and
I was, and I started thinking, you know,
I had something happen to me when I was very young, very young, about 7
and very traumatic, a very traumatic thing.
and, I had been to, matter of fact, I had kind of repressed it,
until I turned, I was in my 30's
and all these memories of this started flooding back.
So the first thing you do, you go to your doctor.
OK. You need to go to a psychiatrist, or psychologist for this
So I go. 'Alright. Tell me your story.'
I barely get it out
'OK. We need to put you on some meds, right now.'
So, they write the meds out and, um, they give me the meds.
I come back a little bit, now, you know, 'How are you feeling?'
Pretty doped up, really, but, you know, 'How's the other part?'
Well, I was so doped up, you really didn't, I didn't deal with that emotion.
and, so when I went to the seminar with Robert, um,
I brought this up to him and I, I couldn't really tell the story
I mean, I reached a point where I couldn't go through with it and
and then I could tell a little bit more of the story
because when you tell it, even though I was 7 at the time
when you start telling the story you become 7 again.
It all comes back.
(recording interrupted) My younger sister was murdered
um, and I saw this
I was 7, she was 5.
We were alone at the house. Alcoholic father.
Mother, um, just kind of, she was abused. They had left.
and, someone broke into the house, basically. We were under the bed
My sister had to go to the rest room
I begged her not to go but she went to the restroom
and she was coming out. This man was coming in.
I was under the bed. Um.
I heard, you know, thumping noises which were,
apparently, him throwing her against the wall.
You know, whatever, and, he was doing. He dragged her into the bedroom.
I'm still under the bed. Um. and what I see
and now I can, now I can almost put myself, I'd see it but I'm not there any more.
and what I see is his black boot on her throat, pressing down
and, she, he kills her, basically.
and, I just stay under the bed.
Talk about some guilt! (she laughs)
You know, cause I was thinking like an adult,
I thought 'Why didn't I get up, grab a lamp and just bang him over the head with it?"
Well, because I was 7 years old.
You know, and, um, when my parents came back, or my step-father,
and I told them, they said, and I knew who it was.
I said, 'I know who it is'. I said, 'It's your son'.
I told my step-father. 'It was your son. It was Eric. It was him.'
and they're like, 'No, honey, it wasn't, because you were with us.'
We thought both of you girls were with us but we didn't realise that, you know,
that we'd left Melissa behind until later and
and you were with us. You didn't see anything like that.
You know. So the police come and 'zilch' I say nothing
because, you know, you wanna please M.. you wanna please Mom.
You don't wanna... So I didn't say a word
I guess I repressed with for years and years
and still believed what they told me: Some stranger came into the house,
He was later caught cause he killed another little girl,
so, you know, eventually he was caught
but I, um, started having these flashbacks of this and they were a lot to deal with
and so Robert and I talked about them
and I got where I could tell the story, and, um,
got off the anti-depressants, um, and I was on 6 at one point.
They had me on 6 anti-depressants between Xanax and all kinds of things.
I got off of all of those.
I can now tell the story, which, believe me,
a few years ago I couldn't have got through.
Just the thought of it would have just, you know, I would have broken down.
I confronted my mother on it. Big step there.
Um. I even went into, um,
I was in a psychiatric ward even, for a while,
and, um, met an FBI agent there and
he actually did some research for me and found out some information
where this guy was. He's in prison and he'll be there the rest of his life.
Which gave me a lot of peace of mind also.
and, um, but what I would find is, when I would start feeling those feelings
I'd remember the tapping
and I would just tap on that feeling.
and tap on the sadness and sometimes you don't know what you're tapping on.
You just, ok, this is sadness, sadness, sadness, sadness
during this time, too, I was going through,
married to an alcoholic (she laughs) husband
and, um, not an abusive one at all. Um, drank at home
which I wish we would have went out and drank
but he was one of those bingers that starts at home and stays at home.
I was going through all that. Started tapping on that
and pretty soon, removed myself from that situation
Um, filed for divorce, um, we became divorced.
but, an interesting thing is, the day I went to court
um, I hadn't seen him and I was going to court that day
and I went and saw Robert for a private session because I just knew,
I didn't know what was going to happen, when I saw him in court,
how I was gonna react.
and I get into the courthouse. It's completely full,
except for maybe a spot about this big. So, I sit down.
and I look up and he walks in.
Only place to sit, right smack next to me.
I am tapping like crazy, you know.
and he sits down and he's, like, "You seem different."
and I said, "Really? You know", I said, "well, you know,
I've just accepted some facts about myself and my choices and all this."
and he goes "you didn't go into, like, a psychiatrist or something?"
I said, "No, just been tapping." (she laughs)
and he's like "Okay."
and I managed to just stay really calm and collected.
He tried to talk to me afterwards, you know, and I was like, you know, I really have nothing....
There was a time when I could be pulled back into that.
You know, oh well, you know, let me explain this to you
and I thought 'Why? Why explain it?'
and it just has made me so much stronger in my convictions.
and, um, so now actually, we're friends, um, he sobered up, and
we became friends. I've even tapped on him.
He had some knee problems and I actually tapped on him for his kne problems.
and I tap all the time. I did it today, matter of a fact,
A headache. A girl at work had a headache. Tapped on it. It was gone.
You know, and, um, so I use it for that, um
and so then I thought, I had gained, probably 100 pounds,
during my marr.. at least a 100 pounds, during my marriage.
and I thought, you know, if it's working on my job,
it's working on my, you know, everything I'm doing,
why not go ahead and try the weight loss. So I went to the seminar
and, um, I started tapping when I was hungry.
I would tap in my really hungry... After I would tap for about 5 minutes,
if I was hungry I would eat. But I would find I would stop when I was full.
I thought, okay, it`s working on this. How about exercise?
I hate to exercise. What if I start tapping on that?
So I started to say, and I would tap like, you know, I always say the desire, you know,
The desire to run, exercise. The desire to exercise.
Pretty soon I noticed, I'd come home from work & I thought, I feel like going and walking.
So, I'd put on my stuff and go walking.
Now I'm up to running. I run about 5 miles, 3 or 4 times a week.
and I tap.
The whole time, sometimes. Sometimes I don't wanna do it so bad.
and I just start tapping and by the time I get home, before I know it,
I've changed clothes and I'm out on the track.
I sill have.... I've lost 95 pounds
I still have 15 more to go. (applause)
it's taken about 18 months
but, you know, that's okay. That`s okay. It doesn't matter.
Um, I tap on, I tap at the casinos and I win. (she laughs)
In Santa Fe, a couple of years ago with my cousin, this is kinda funny
all the way to Santa Fe (she taps on herself) She goes "What are you doing?"
I said, I'm tapping because I wanna win, you know,
"You're an idiot." No, you know, I'm gonna win.
So we get there and I walk in, win 1,500 bucks.
So we get back to the room and she's, like, tap on me, tap on me, please.
I'm like, "No, you, like, you blew it. You know." You lost your chance on that one
I ended up winning 900 more on there.
I know. It was amazing. No, I don't go all the time because I don't wanna push it, but
you know, when I do go I visualize a lot of it.
subtitles: Antoinette Iacobucci