(dramatic music) (breathing deeply)
- Bad book reviews and the trolls that post them.
Stay tuned!
(dramatic music)
Hey, I'm Dale L. Roberts, best-selling author
as well as a self publishing advocate that wants
to show you how to publish books that sell.
If you want that too, make sure you hit the subscribe
and turn the bell notifications on
so you don't miss a single one of these videos.
Today, ha ha, is going to be one big
old steamy Amazon dumpster fire and I want you
to stick around, but before we do get into things,
I want to give a very special thanks
to exclusive sponsors here at the channel, Kotobee.
I'm gonna give you some more details about Kotobee,
but if you want to get a little bit more details ahead
of time, head on over to dalelinks.com/kotobee.
That's K-O-T-O-B-E-E.
There are a few things in this business
that really, authors get hung up on,
especially self-published authors
and it's typically keywords,
marketing and promotion, and reviews.
And it's that latter point that I want
to kind of hang our hat on today because when people
do get those reviews, sometimes they feel,
ah man, they feel on top of the world.
They get the five-star review,
they get the four-star review and then,
what the heck is this?
A frigging one-star review.
What is this?
And of course, they're feeling defeated and,
you know, if you're the type of person that you really,
you put your value into what other people think
about your book, you start to kind of just wonder,
when you start to see those one stars or those two stars,
like is this all worth it and I gotta tell you
that sometimes, even the best of the best
get trolled by some Amazon reviewer.
I'm not just talking about low reviews
because you had a couple spelling errors
or someone who has a differing point of view.
I'm talking about people that are out and out
just big (donkey braying).
So I went ahead, I got ahold of my assistant Ava Fails,
and I said, "Ava, I need you to do me a favor.
"I want you to pull me in the cream of the crop,
"the people that are starting the dumpster fires
"over on Amazon's platform and are clearly
"not really utilizing the review platform
"for what it's supposed to be used for and that's for good."
Before we do jump into those things,
I want to, of course, tell you exactly what I'm looking for.
So I want to see verified purchase reviews,
meaning that they bought it on the Amazon platform.
Verified purchase just indicates that they,
at least, bought it on Amazon.
If it is an unverified purchase,
meaning that if there's no proof that they've bought
it whatsoever, that means that someone can just go in,
willy-nilly, drop a review in there.
So it's gotta make you kind of question some
of these ones that have the unverified purchases.
And, of course, let's look at the different types
of products, be it paperback, hardcover, Kindle eBook.
I didn't find any audiobook ones, but either way,
let's go ahead and jump into this one here
with "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand.
The review was done by JD, which,
this is a verified purchase review of a paperback
and his title is "Not good."
"Bought this for my father because he heard
"of it on South Park episode.
"Apparently Officer Barbrady hated it.
"My father hated it, too."
10 people found this helpful.
10 people found this helpful.
Yup, and if you look at the customer avatar
for this particular review,
you'll see he's a NWO fan,
which means that he's a wrestling fan of some sort.
Stupid mark.
Next one's "Milk And Honey" by Rupi Kaur.
Now, this review's done by CrueltyFree, all one word.
It is a verified purchase review of the Kindle edition.
And you'll notice that the avatar
for this one is a smiley face.
Obviously it's cruelty free so why
wouldn't it have a smiley face?
And it actually says for the title,
"Ghastly, whining and sobbing.
"I've read maudlin poetry before and heard
"a million women complain about being a woman,
"but this one takes the cake.
"It's corny, sappy, and makes me ask the question
"why don't you drink your milk and close your legs, honey?"
Yeah.
Three people found this helpful.
(lively music) Yeah.
But if you scroll down,
sometimes there's comments right below these reviews,
and this is actually where you
can pull out the popcorn and just watch, watch it go.
And Debster actually responded,
"You might try this book of poetry
"with poems on philosophy, nature, childhood and love.
"I invite you to take a gander at the synopsis."
Insert the super URL.
Use a clean link!
Use a clean link!
Breathe, Dale, breathe, breathe.
"Becoming" by Michelle Obama is the next one here
and the reviewer is Sunflower.
And this is a hard copy and it is a verified purchase.
The title is "Not worth it."
"Had to buy as a gift for someone else.
"Wouldn't purchase otherwise."
No period, no punctuation.
How about purchasing a period and letting
the person you bought it for leave the review
instead of you doing it?
81 people found this helpful, 81.
Meglet says this: "Would you find this review helpful
"if it was by anyone else, about anything else?
"What makes it not worth it?
"Not worth giving as a gift to your friend?
"Who forced you to give this particular book?
"There is rampant abuse of the reviews and ratings system."
(applauding) Yes.
Now this is exactly why I'm doing this video
is to show the fact that there's people that
are clearly abusing the review system and Amazon
just turns a blind eye to this.
Next one is "To Kill A Mockingbird," by Harper Lee.
Now, this one is a classic.
I think I actually read this one in school
or maybe it was something I was supposed to read
and I never did.
Either way, I did see the movie as a kid.
Mitch K bought the paperback version of this
and his title is (mimics snoring)
"Most boring book in the world.
"Read it if you don't enjoy life."
No one found this helpful.
What, I mean gosh, I mean between the fact that he
didn't capitalize the first part of his sentence
and he didn't even put any punctuation.
Oh man, I would think that this would have thousands
and thousands of up votes say it's helpful.
It's not.
Next one's "Rich Dad Poor Dad" by Robert Kiyosaki,
and Joe Greene purchased the paperback version of this.
And he started out with the title,
oh my gosh, we know what we're getting into
when he said "A toddler could write this."
"The principles are solid, but the writing comes across
"as a special needs doorknob trying
"to mimic the English language.
"There's also the fact that the rich dad
"in the book is a completely fictional character,
"despite scam artists Kiyosaki,
"still claiming that the person was real.
"There are dozens of better book options today."
Three people found this helpful.
(screaming)
Next up is "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone"
by JK Rowling.
Jean Brickner actually purchased this through
the Kindle edition and starts it out with the title of
"It's witchcraft."
And she just simply says, "It's witchcraft."
Six people found this helpful.
Yeah, Bernie xyzzy says inside the comments,
"It's okay to make a funny in your review,
"but you have 500 words and should complete the review.
"Your review does make it look that you do not
"have a classical education."
(modem buzzing)
Classical, what?
Classical education like classical music?
(groaning)
I appreciate and I applaud you for really standing up
for this book, but you may want
to reassess your classical education.
Hey, I have a few more reviews that I'm gonna share
with you and these ones, I've saved the best for last.
In fact one, where Ellen DeGeneres actually got involved.
This one's actually gonna blow you away.
I wanted to bring back to light, of course,
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That's K-O-T-O-B-E-E.
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Next one up is going to be
"Where Is My Baby's Belly Button," by Karen Katz.
Now, I was fairly excited when I discovered
the author of this particular review was PacMan.
I'm a huge fan of Pac-Man.
Actually, I grew up playing Pac-Man on the Atari and heck,
I've even had the high score down the road at 16-bit Arcade.
You know, Pac-Man, but let's not be confused.
It is an unverified review and it is a board book.
Now, a board book is a children's book.
It's essentially made of thick board.
These are still very highly in demand.
PacMan starts it out with, "Do not buy this book.
"You can see the ending right on the cover.
"This book is completely misleading.
"The entire plot revolves around
"finding babies belly button.
"The title makes this much clear from the beginning.
"However, there is no mystery, there is no twist.
"Baby's belly button is right where
"it's supposed to be, on baby stomach.
"Right where it clearly shows you it is
"on the cover of the book.
"This plot is a complete mess as a result
"of its reliance on the mystery
"of where the belly button is.
"Everything falls apart the second you realize
"that the belly button was in plain sight all along.
"There's no conflict, there's no character development,
"and there is scarcely any plot.
"Whoever wrote this book must have a serious error
"in judgment because you would have to be an infant
"to not immediately understand where baby's belly button is.
"This is one of the worst pieces of literature
"I have ever read."
1044 people found this helpful.
Yeah, not verified.
Now, if you go into the comments,
this is where the dumpster fire is just absolutely ablaze.
And I came to find out over 50 comments.
Like, it literally just maxed out the number
that it would say inside comments, 50 plus comments.
I came to find out that, actually,
this particular review was showcased
on "The Ellen Show" with Ellen DeGeneres.
So yeah, Ellen went ahead and showcased a troll's review,
someone trolling someone's property
and so this just further shows the abuse
of the Amazon review system.
And, I actually scrolled in and I discovered
that PacMan actually had responded and said,
"Wow, I literally came back to check my review
"for the first time seven years later and saw this.
"Thanks for telling me.
"I'm so psyched I got featured on Ellen."
So you posted a trolling review at the expense
of the author, and now,
you're happy that you've been made famous.
You know, kudos to you PacMan.
(applauding)
Next one is "Othello" by Shakespeare.
Now, of course, if you don't know
who William Shakespeare is,
I really don't know what to do here for you.
But with this one, this is by Amazon customer.
Now, everybody else went through the trouble
of actually naming themselves on their profile,
but this one, no.
Show your face, coward.
It is the Kindle edition.
It is a verified purchase.
And they say, "Me doth not thinkift
"I understandth this tale."
"Shakespeare was a real cool person for his time.
"Unfortunately, his plays are not a real cool thing
"to read for my time.
"It is English and I speak English.
"I just don't happen to speak old English,
"which is really ironic because I
"am old and speaking English.
"If you read slowly and put your thinking cap on,
"you will get the gist of what the story is about.
"Or, you can just purchase Cliff Notes, etc.
"This story is exciting and full of action, I think."
14 people found this helpful,
and if you actually scroll down into the comments,
you will find the snarky commentary ensues
and it's an all-out fistfight.
I'm out.
And last up as "Ulysses" by James Joyce, of course.
This classic right here's another one
I believe I read in school.
And this review is actually a verified purchase review
for the Kindle edition by B Ikan,
and starts it out with, "This is a tough book to read
"unless you understand several languages and are on LSD.
"I may have 30 or 40 more years to live,
"so maybe I'll get through it."
17 people found this helpful.
Now, if you actually scroll on down into the comments,
you'll see more snarkiness ensues.
It seems like the crowd that was over
on William Shakespeare's work came
on over to James Joyce's work,
and there's a repeated name in this one, Donald P Reed.
Shut up, Donald.
Believe it or not,
there are so many other bad book reviews out there.
I've covered it before.
In this very next video,
you actually go down, click on it,
have a few laughs with me and enjoy on it.
And remember, don't take yourself so seriously.
Every now and then, you will get a one-star review
and is Amazon on top of it?
Maybe not, but they're definitely trying
to make it better in due time.
In the meantime, I'll see ya in the next video.
