Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Stories of Transformation - Lori

Difficulty: 0

so i have in my family the BRCA gene i had an aggressive form of breast cancer triple negative

but when i first found it it was stage zero so i thought i was healthy i took vitamins i

never didn't need sugar and i really hadn't i really wasn't concerned i did the chemotherapy

it went away then it came back the next year and i was shocked because i was taking vitamins you know

just doing all these healthy people things that you know eating kale like crazy and i

never expected i was shocked when it came back so but the doctors were you know they

they said you had triple negative cancer it's very aggressive um you know we have to do

we did two the two other chemotherapies that were available radiation they set me up for a year

of treatment which i started uh that was december um 2017. in february 2018 my

son was killed at college and it was the week after i had told him that i had the cancer

so i

was in bad shape but i

have a big family i have other children my daughter some stepchildren and i i wasn't i

didn't want to give up i needed to be there for them and that my family had just been through

such torture i was finished my second round of chemotherapy and then in june

i was on a break before the radiation my very good friend called me and said i want you to

put i just sent you something turn it on right now and listen to it and it was one of dr joe's

um it was some kind of presentation i don't know if it was a youtube but it was the

his big initial one when he tells the story about his car accident truck biking accident

so it resonated with me and i started the meditations

um i really wasn't even thinking about going to a workshop or anything like that then

but um i just you know and i just enjoyed it so much i i wanted to go and be in a workshop and

i also started worrying that i was my cancer would come back

i ended up during this time i did my radiation which finished in december 2018 and i um

got into the i finally i tried to start getting in workshops but i was never

hitting the button fast enough i got into niagara falls september 2019. in the interim

many things in my life changed for the better you know this is more like the manifesting of things i

am in a wonderful relationship i met the love of my life my daughter was you know started following

her journey because everybody in my family was really just frozen after what happened with my son

then i just started worrying worrying worrying that this when when is the day that the cancer

is going to come back so when i went to the workshop i applied for the healing

and i um all during the week i didn't i just didn't think they would pick me

because ever there were so many people there and everybody wanted the healing

during the week i was just struggling so hard when you get there and see how the meditations

and the like the breath when he had you know like his daughter-in-law on stage and showing

what they're really doing i just thought i am not anywhere near as deep into this as i need to be to

heal myself i have to figure this out i have to figure this out and all week long everyone in my

group was just telling me lori you have to open your heart you have to open your heart and i was

the same you know thinking mechanically you know about it how how do i do this and my heart was so

frozen i mean even at home i could never feel in the blessing of the energy centers nothing i felt

nothing in that whole area it was just cold frozen solid i could not break into it so

i'm thinking you know trying to come up with these elevated emotions to feel and

i just could not feel them i couldn't come up with anything that would make me feel that way

and i just struggled with it so much and then the last morning our walking meditation before

the healing i was you know just feeling it and we were in niagara falls by the river and just

the walking and i finally was feeling like i can do this i'm gonna get there i'm gonna get there

so the next morning he gave a speech on the stage and i started panicking you know well she gave me

the coin and i started panicking thinking how am i going to open my heart i only have a couple more

hours and i can't waste this opportunity to heal myself you know what am i going to do and then he

was on the stage giving a speech about the when he talks about if when you're whole you just want to

give to others you don't want anything else and he started saying to us you have got to figure

out what do you want what do you want what is it that you want and i probably didn't even put it

all together until now why he was saying that but i just said to myself i want i don't want anything

i want my son back that i want my son back i want to be his mom again i want another chance

this is my desire my heart's desire and i said you know this is not an elevated emotion but this is

what i'm going to think about because it's it's what i want i don't know what else to do so when

i went into the heaven room and i just started thinking about my son and i could feel you know

i guess angst but just i was picturing being with my

being with him again and what that would feel like you know and that it's just what

he's saying what would that feel like in the like the that was the joy that i would have if i could

spend time with him again even though it was never going to happen was just the

it was you know a dream come true you know it and i just it was you know i was crying but but

feeling it i laid down and he started the meditations and i felt instantly and i had never

felt this before the freight train of electricity it started in my feet and my hands and i thought

oh my gosh i'm freezing to death in here you know and and then i was like is this am i freezing am i

freezing out and then it just started crawling up my legs up my arms and i said i think this

is something else it started shooting up the sides of my neck like hot but icy and electric

and then it spun around my head and i just was saying please get to my heart break my

heart open whatever this is just please get to my heart get to my heart and it finally went through

my whole body and then it just started like it like a formula one race circling around like this

on top of all of the other electricity i felt like i could light up new york city it was so strong

and i was just i couldn't open my eyes i felt my arms just kind of went up like this at one point

and my mouth got kind of contorted i just was frozen paralyzed but not no pain i knew it was

great i knew i was getting the biological upgrade on steroids i mean it was so unbelievably powerful

that you can't even describe the level of how powerful it was and i just was laying there

saying i hope everybody around me is getting this i'm just thinking i hope they're all getting this

i mean i imagine everybody was sizzling you know and i just kind of opened my eyes to look and i

said this is so much i don't even need this much i want i hope everybody is just getting this well

the meditations stopped and i could hear everybody moving but i just was i couldn't move still and i

heard he was talking on stage saying kind of his goodbye speech and everything and then

i just didn't know what to do with my i just couldn't even talk to tell somebody that i

i can't talk and i can't move and then after a while they grounded me back out so i could sit up

you know but this time people were leaving and going to the airport i had to leave and

go i had an appointment at md anderson for my pet scans and things the next morning

which um i went to and my doctor is the head of the breast cancer oncology department there

and he we did pet scan nothing they ended up biopsying three places during the week

but i wasn't even worried about it they all came back negative nothing dead cells

nothing and i just came back last month i had another checkup after a year and

he said that i don't even have anything to check on you he said you are just i don't even have a

test to give you i could but we don't need to as far as i can see and he said honestly

two years ago i would have i would have never expected to see you here you had you know this

gene in your family my mom died from cancer from the brachio gene my aunt has it and

he just was he's like whatever you're doing you're great you have nothing to worry about right now

and i think you're fine so so my i think my theme for this would be opening your heart because i

know so many people that i talk to it's just you can't get in touch with what is what is needed and

it's it's really like it's just exactly that figuring out what you really really

want and maybe it's you know not one of your manifestations of the house you're dreaming

of or the life that you're dreaming of or whatever just that one thing that you know if that happened

you would be so filled and with joy just imagining it and that just breaks your heart

wide open and it connects it just connects immediately and i started doing it here

again i you know thinking let me try if i think about being with my son again if i'm

and i connect right away every time and and i just i tell people the story because i'm just

so they don't think they have to figure out this you know amazing

i don't know glorious thing you know because i i wouldn't i mean it's glorious the thought

of it even though it's never going to happen and that's just what it is

that you just have to pinpoint that thing so you're in the right spot

to connect and you connect so quickly and then that's where the miracles start

The Description of Stories of Transformation - Lori