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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: YouTube: The Movie

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GameMediEvil

(In a depressed voice) This all begins back in 2005.

A guy at the zoo, the guy that played Shaggy from the Scooby-Doo movie (T_T), and Mr. PoKemOn

all worked at PayPal.

After realizing how much of a piece of (NFKRZ) the company was, they went ahead and founded YouTube™.

They had to test to make sure the site worked so they went ahead and got the guy at the zoo to talk about being at the zoo.

oh my god i love that

(Pyro) Using my own personal time machine (prize from Durv's giveaway) I constructed, thanks to watching Rick and Morty, (not musical.ly)

I can travel back into the past to see YouTubesite in... 2005.

as you can see YouTube2005 was the premiere for online content, so not much has changed since then (sarcastically)

2006 rolled in.

YouTubeannounced that over 65,000 new videos were being uploaded daily bringing in over a hundred million views daily to the site.

At the time, YouTube™'s headquarters were set up in the most premiere location of Silicon Valley.

(In his most serious tone) Above a pizza shop.

Now keep in mind, this is the Dark Age where making money from your videos was a foreign concept.

In 2006, I wasn't even legally allowed to own a YouTubeaccount [totally legit] :((((

At that time I was probably outside enjoying a carefree life.. (before Jake Paul was even relevant)

and... trying to scam a kid for his Blue-Eyes White Dragon (how is one even playing yu-gi-oh anymore?)

You see YouTube had the URL

but another website

UTUBE.com (the obvious scam version) had a much similar name. And of course like any sane (totally) mega corporation, they took him to court (wow that's just it...)

It was going to be the case of the century (it was?) YouTube versus UTube. The stakes were high. Millions are on the table (wow..)

(Phoenix wright defending YouTube™)

They lost..

Oh, maybe next time, maybe next time

Since then UTUBE has become UTUBE online (wow such an original name) taking a quick look at their site

You can clearly see why YouTube Intimidated them so much.

How can you know what welder to buy without watching a review video first? (You don't)

(Atomic Garbage) we are gonna talk about this Harbor Freight welder coming up in this video. Drop that intro (real toy channel youtuber)

[le dubstep intro]

October 2006, Google is on the hunt. It gets the scent of new prey. They offer the three musketeers $1.65B (more than pyro' content level LoL)

they graciously accept, offering their souls to the Dark Lord (Machinima) and even making a little video showing how happy they are.

(Shaggy): Hey Youtube, this is Chad Stibb with the co-founders of the site, and we just want to say thank you

today we have some exciting news for you

we've... been acquired by Google

(Mr. Pokemon): Ah thanks, thanks to everyone at you guys

that um

have been "contributing" youtube the community;

umm,

we would- we wouldn't be anywhere close to where we are

without the help of dis community. Thanks a lot.

You can definitely tell that these individuals have millions in their bank account

This man looks like he's deciding whether to purchase the cameraman's entire family

and this man's look like he's done it.

hey could you subscribe to me on youtube? pyrocyincal dot youtube dot com. tha-thanks guys tha-

In November 2006 the acquisition was complete.

Google officially owned Youtube.

One of the first things they did was reduce the length of videos uploaded to 10 minutes.

As most of the videos that went past that point were reuploads of TV shows.

It's nice to see that never came back to bite them in the a$$, right? (Sounds of laughter from Pyro).

Also, Thailand blocked access to the site.

2007. Now this is when stuff gets interesting.

Youtube launches their partner program

Now suckers like you and me can upload content onto Youtube and actually get paid for it!

This brought new people to the site knowing

they could just upload the most obscure (NFKRZ) and still get paid for it.

Some asian language or something. I wonder if there's captions for THAT.

without this program pretty much 99% of all the creators you watch enjoy on this site wouldn't be here and

You wouldn't hear my dumbass voice either

This is also when YouTube introduced its Content ID system

Probably in an attempt to control of the reuploads of Family Guy funny moments YouTube are getting trials of a bot that would detect

Videos it thought infringed copyright

"But Pyro, isn't the Content ID system the second worst invention created by mankind, only beaten by the Resident Evil 4 chainsaw controller? "

you're absolutely right. the Content ID system is

TRASHHHH

That's kinda some gleasy things are wuinkly guys

I honestly think Capcom ditched all the shipments in Spain so the rest of the world wouldn't find them

I'm sure that for every one video that is fairly content IDed there's about

450 trillion that are unfairly claimed now

Although this system sucks monkey nuts I can empathize with why YouTube had to implement this system.

Viacom among other companies filed a bunch of lawsuits against YouTube saying they did too little to prevent copyright infringement, demanding...

one meeelion dollars

So YouTube was given a catch-22 they're to ignore these demands and get sued by an even larger company,

or they had to implement this whack Content ID system bringing misery to millions

But at least the site stays open I mean things got better right they bought managed channels in later

So they weren't scanned by this repulsive bot and they have more freedom on the site, right

surely it can't get any worse than it already is

but don't worry guys. There is some good news

Thailand allowed its people back on the site again YouTube is growing now the second most visited website in the world

garnering over 15 billion visitors each month but

YouTube was still RatchetTube the layout was serviceable at best and watching a video on the site boosted sales of glasses by 87%.

it actually got so bad that the consistent eye squinting from watching low-quality videos on YouTube was

Directly linked to higher accidents across the world Asia was the biggest casualty of this event mostly due to their

um. Small feet?

And in October 2007 China took the initiative and blocked access to the site

同学们,朋友们

你是们

2008 rolls around and Google's like

"No, no we can't be having people buying glasses before they buy our Google glass."

so they went ahead and slightly changed the resolution.

oh u see that, dats not gud enuf 4 u?

oh hir guys 720p u greedy basterd

Everything seemed to be going well for YouTube

But big brother saw YouTube's growth

And it wasn't happy-

Turkey blocked YouTube entirely

The government were horrified that people had different opinions online

United Kingdom was also Disgusted that people had different opinions online

It seemed that the entire world was staring down at YouTube

It only had one decision

*Silent Drum-roll*

to redirect every YouTube video to Rick Astley

*EAR EXPLODING, AND SOMETHING ELSE*

YouTube was awarded the George Foster Peabody Award for dealing with the situation in such a mature and humane manner

Described as something that both embodies and promotes democracy

Yeah

I'm not kidding that is an actual quote and also something of note

YouTube is now generating 200 million dollars of revenue a year

That's the equivalent to one Darth Vader skin in Battlefront 2 [the EA reboot one]

also in September of that same year the Daily Telegraph said

YouTube had some of the worst comment exchanges on the Internet

I don't know why they'd say that honestly as we all know YouTube comments are the most

advanced lingual exchanges on the face of the earth

Also China reopened access to YouTube

yyaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy

Clearly they realized what kind of content they were missing out on

2009

1080p video quality is introduced meaning you can watch your favorite videos in slightly better quality

Also 3d videos were introduced. Yeah. They really. They really turned out to be a massive success

Also, you could now watch YouTube on the TV and show everyone the content you enjoyed

WHAT IS THAT?

Now deep in a lab an unknown location

scientists were uploading multiple versions of the same song onto YouTube and

Discovered how effective it was on wiping out all human life

But of course if you don't think your video is fairly claimed you could easily dispute it

Buuuuuuuuuuut

9 times out of 10 the claimant would just say no, making your entire venture pointless

I mean you could go ahead and appeal it again all that requires is your:

Legal name, your postcode, your street address all of that is forwarded to the claim and keep in mind

And if they say no again, which they're probably going to your video will be taken down and you'll receive a strike

2010

2010 YouTube wanted to finally change their layout

we really felt like we neede-

???????????????

So in May, they went ahead and changed the look of the site

also YouTube for mobile was launched allowing you to watch your

Favorite creators on the go on top of that you could now rent films straight from YouTube something which I'm sure

had a massive

Success the report shown that nearly 1/3 of all content on YouTube was uploaded without permission of the copyright holders

Yeah, I'm pretty sure a Viacom did that study?

and they're mad at him i think [vigorous chair shake]

YouTube in retaliation to this claim did the most sensible thing they could.

Content IDed the other two-thirds of content.

YouTube also now hosted the ability to upload videos of

unlimited length, which as you could probably tell was a

massive success

It was leaked in December that YouTube had joined the prism program a mass surveillance system created by the NSA

Jesus Christ, it's Jason Bourne, so be wary when you next go browsing, but don't worry the incognito tab gives you full an anime

2011 or as it's known in history the Dark Age Google Plus is directly integrated into YouTube in an attempt to

Streamline the site the results were less than desirable

HOW DID THEY MAKE IT WORSE I THOUT THERES NOTHING WORSE THAN THE GOOGLE COMMENT SECTION

Not making a Mars Bars video Man: Hey, uh, Google. Please stop,

please just f***ing stop.

NO ONE HUGE IN THE REAL NAME I SAW HITLER I SAW JESUS CHRIST

I saw I saw Obama I

UNLESS I WAS REALLY OBAMA

(Pyro) fortunately the Bob army was at hand to fire off Google+.

But Google+ wasn't finished and two years later. It'd be back with a vengeance

2012. YouTube filed a bunch of cease and desist letters against video conversion websites

But don't worry, because no you can watch YouTube on the Wii.

ear rape

Also Kony 2012 was a thing you you guys remember that I think it was I think it was a big thing back in 2012

Did they ever catch him?

No. Uh...

Maybe-Maybe next year. KONY 2017.

2013 live-streaming was made public as long as you had at least a thousand subscribers

UGH UGH SHOES

The limit was reduced to a hundred and then removed entirely so anyone

Anywhere could stream their content to the world video responses were also removed from the site

Remember the plague of the replay girls each with the IQ and appearance of a goblin shark

showing their pretty little rack to get clicks from horny roblox players

They're flippin' everywhere. even on this video because it's about reply girls that will be about five

Down here to the left of me you look down the related videos

They'll probably be some reply girls there, but sexual appeal aside the replay girls bought real discussion to every single video they reply to

So uh yeah

But something much darker has arrived

Google+ is back and with a vengeance now forcing users to have a Google+ account just to comment on videos the results were

Eat a cantaloupe clean your toilet play tetherball with a small Portuguese child as long as you're not joining Google+

You're enjoying the benefits of not Google+

It's that easy it actually reached the point that the man in the zoo one of the founders of YouTube

Came back just to express his distress why the *snort* do I need a Google+ account

Just to comment on a video, and yes, he did actually say that the video with the announcement didn't fare too. Well either

But then again, when is a public service announcement from YouTube ever done well? think about it.

YouTube Heroes?

great junk buddy! NICE KNEESLAPPER!

Google+ was essentially Facebook if Facebook was made from an alien visiting earth

And the only experience they've had with Facebook is watching an 89 year old pensioner use it if that wasn't bad enough

Nintendo went on this massive dumbass copyright spray (thnak you lawyers that aren't catching up with the technology!)

claiming pretty much every single video that

Featured their games or characters and to this day. They're still

Punishing people for giving pretty much free promotion to their games Nintendo your game is a legendary

but your PR f*snort*ing sucks mother

donkey dick

uncle dreaming piece of

anal washing fuck face head ass mother *

2014 Susan Wojcicki becomes the CEO of YouTube

oh no

Fun fact only 2% of all humans on earth can pronounce her name properly the surname is allegedly polish

But to me it sounds like a crappy name. You'd give your mage OC in Skyrim

also

60 frame a second videos were introduced this sparked a grand discussion on how many frames a second the eye can see

The correct answer is at least seven at least seven

at the time President Obama had a meeting with

Leading YouTube creators, but PewDiePie wasn't there so who cares do you care I don- I don't okay?

also, Turkey blocked YouTube for a second time after an alleged

high-level intelligence leak.

(Turkish)

hip hip hooray

2015 YouTube adopted a new logo

Removing the broadcast yourself motto another app was released YouTube kids

It was designed to help filter out possibly harmful content to children youtubers were

Hand-picked for this program, and while initially having noble goals it has been overthrown by more

undesirable elements elements

I'll probably talk about in another video in lighter news

YouTube launched YouTube gaming and proceeded to get roasted into oblivion by twitch I couldn't really tell you which platform is better

Seeming my internet is about as consistent as PLAYER UNKNOWN'S BATTLEGROUNDS' framerate.

my game won an award

potato!

even though it was a voting system

which doesn't make it fair it's just a popularity contest and my game's pretty damn popular

POTATO

And the finale of YouTube's new announcements for that year YouTube red

hOW'S IT GOING BROS it's POOOODEPA

As long as you live anywhere within this massive catalog of countries you'll have access to it a subscription service

Where you pay a monthly fee to remove

advertisements download videos for offline viewing and free access to YouTube red shows the premiere of YouTube

Entertainment look I know YouTube red isn't the best nearly everything it offers can be accessed by the means

But seriously to the people that actually use YouTube red. Thank you because when a YouTube red user watches your content

You'll get a small amount of profit instead of ad revenue, which is a lot more consistent

Considering all the people using adblock to bypass ads at this point YouTube red is pretty much a straight-up

Altruistic act so thanks to all the homies for taking advantage of it to help creators like us gosh bless

2016 and you know what I kind of forgot what happened in

2016 I'm sure the YouTube rewind

2016 will help me

DAMN DANIEL

YouTube's

2017 or as the history books will remember it

Judgment Day the day the human race was nearly destroyed by the weapons they built to protect themselves

advertisers found their content being played on a bunch of despicable

Hateful content, so they pulled the ads and apparently there weren't enough to go around and everyone's earnings began to tank

Unless you were Google preferred if you were Google preferred you were probably a

Ok in an attempt to get advertisers back on sides YouTube brought in by far the worst feature on the entire site

restricted ads at this point

It wouldn't surprise me if restricted ads had a spot on this year's YouTube rewind this icon

basically means you'll make around one sixth of what you could have potentially make.

"But pyro what videos get restricted ads?" I

Don't know to be honest

f*snort**snort* all of them? to be fair though the appealing process has gotten better

But still I don't think my anxiety has reached a higher point than when I'm filling out my tags on a video

And then I hit publish and see that nasty-ass icon

But I can kind of empathize with YouTube here much like the introduction of the Content ID system if f*snort*king sucks

But what was the alternative?

I mean YouTube really isn't that profitable for Google so YouTube had two options with its creators

They could kneecap their content creators it hurts a lot

No one likes to be kneecapped

but at least you get to see another day or they could come to you in a year's time when all the

Advertisers have dried up and left and put you out your misery

But that aside YouTube definitely needs better people skills how did YouTube even respond to this whole fiasco?

Anyway, they gave Susan Wojcicki a YouTube channel.

CEOTube: hi everyone. I wanted to explain today

Why I'm starting a YouTube channel

get dunked ooooooooooooooon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I genuinely feel for the poor schmuck on Twitter having to type out the same copy/paste response to each individual person

It's key to build a bridge between the content creators and the hosts of the website

And it seems YouTube's are getting closer to the skull. I mean they're here and

That's where they're gonna go

I think this ad pocalypse is really taking the wind out of a lot of people's sales and although it is getting better

I'm sure any creator will appreciate the support you throw their way even if it's just a few kind words all right

I know this was meant to be a mini YouTube retrospective, and I've totally lost focus

But I just hope there's one thing you can take away from this video

vid.me's better! woooooooooooooo

Also I'm selling Pyro merch support the fam by now, don't don't buy it

The Memes. Show me.

The Description of YouTube: The Movie