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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Ya Mağlubiyetin Günahını Alıyorsak? Aziz Kedi at TEDxReset 2011

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You said, a friend with a busy schedule. This is really annoying.

Ali Üstündag calls sponsors as "sponsörs".

I am going to speak impromptu.

It is not funny. It is not dramatic but it is really ugly.

It may disturb some of the people in the room.

It is about success and defeat.

It is a topic I have been thinking on for a long time because the industry,..

the sector that I have been working in, which success and failure is b&w.

In my sector, in the finance sector this happens.

Sudden decreases, bankruptcies, finished business, new projects...

I think too much on success and failure. So says my childhood...

Repulsion for professionalism.

Thank you very much for stealing from my seconds...

Professionalism is awful. Many of the people here are professionals.

I can say from the way they look. There is a professional kind of look.

I can measure anything. I can weigh anything.

This part for example is a lounge of professionals, fully, all of them...

I understand why I hate this professionalism for over 8 years.

Before that around for 10 years I worked as a semi-professional.

Especially in certain fields of TV, media.

It is very easy to keep up with a tempo. Now I want to define success.

I wish I didn't have 18 minutes. I wish I had a couple of hours so that...

we can have a discussion and I can give answers to all of you.

Let me make a reminder. When I say you that includes me as well.

But I don't choose to say we.

Otherwise it sounds like a kind of a weird religious sect or something.

I am going to tell a very short story. Young people are very curious about it.

But they are frustrated, disappointed at the end.

Let me tell the story and see what kind of reaction you will give.

The most successful years of my career were from the ages of 5 and 6.

My mother and father went to work, they were teachers and I stayed home.

There was a TV show which was for the illiterate adults.

At the age of 5 a person teaching how to write and read.

I was learning to read. My family who was a middle class family...

told me to go to school and not let anybody know that I can actually read.

They think you are spoiled or something.

They think you are a show-off or something.

I say, what do I do then in the school? Sit like a vegetable?

You know how stupid it was? You know how they were drawing lines...

before you actually start writing the letters...

I was drawing the letters actually. Without saying anything...

When I go back home, I write a novel at home. My success ends there,...

I can't share it with anyone,...

mom and dad, they applaud me and I don't tell anyone.

I didn't have the chance to think that I was a genius.

Because in the second grade, I was same as everyone.

And then my downfall began. In the secondary school I failed music class.

Anybody who didn't play this stupid plastic flute? The girls could play it.

I couldn't. We had a music teacher who had hit me with a flute,...

I failed the music class with such dishonor.

My father was a teacher of physics and mathematics.

I guess I was afraid of him. Or I was anxious.

It was kind of a stage phobia for me.

When there was the bell for the mathematic class, I was so anxious.

My father would ask me, don't you understand this stuff?

I said I don't know. Why do you fail the class?

I don't know. Don't you like it? I don't know.

He couldn't diagnose what the problem was. I failed.

There was a class for students who failed the math class,...

I guess this class was for idiots.

I was known as a very clever kid in my own circles. This was very annoying.

I wasn't very self assured in the classes.

I couldn't just raise my hand say, I know the answer.

Maybe it was coming from my first year.

Mom was very unhappy. Dad was very unhappy.

My brother was admitted to dentistry faculty, Hacettepe.

I was drawing some pictures and my father would take it away,...

tear it away from my hands.

I could understand it but I couldn't succeed in it.

I couldn't develop communication. I asked myself, should I go to academia?

They were both teachers, my parents.

They had prepared over 10000 students and they were very enlightened people.

When I told that I want to go into the university, academia,...

they were very angry. They wanted me to have a formal job, profession.

I said, I don't understand this stuff, and they said no.

There is another problem apparently and we will fix it.

You will not become an artist or something.

You will have a real job, they said.

Do not forget about the ugliness of success. Whatever I tell you...

I motivated myself. I said I will do it.

I remember Antalya was very hot. 60 degrees.

I was going to sit down and study.

New born kittens of our cat were all over me and I was studying.

I was very determined to win the university.

I wanted to go to a law faculty.

My friends were making fun of me,...

asking me if I was going to become a nurse.

I was admitted to Ankara University Law Faculty.

I believe anybody in this room would be very proud to have gone to that school.

I was unhappy. It was an impressive school but I was unhappy.

I was panicking. In the beginning of the first year I told my mother,...

I couldn't tell my father, I don't want it, I don't want this school.

She said, you were lucky enough to get into this school and...

you can't quit now, you will have to finish it first.

And then do whatever you do. She was also crying.

They were asking me if I was going to become a lawyer...

I said , of course, I am not going to be a truck driver.

I started a different life.

Small bourgoise, buying books for little amounts...

there is a little theatre as well. I was not like the kind of guy...

who would read books on the subway without understanding anyway.

This was kind of an education in itself.

I went to school every now and then but I educated myself in this way.

Mostly knowingly but sometimes unknowingly, how much time do I have?

I was walking a lot, I was communicating with the people,...

I was continuously reading. I was living like a crazy person.

I was dispelled from the school, of course,...

that's a very natural result of the way I was living.

Until that very point, they were saying, you have 19 tests,...

you have to pass 12 of them in order not to be expelled from the school.

I would just do the 12 tests, of course, this system was sustainable,...

I went to Antalya that I was expelled from the school...

I have never seen my mom so unhappy.

If I told her that they had found a water cooling device in me,...

accidentally forgotten, she wouldn't be that unhappy.

In those days I was teaching drums.

I was playing drums and teaching kids how to play with the drums.

I was continuing with lifestyle I explained.

My friends in Eksisozluk said, they were going to publish a magazine and...

asked me if I would become an editor. I though why not?

I thought I was going to sit at my computer and review some articles.

We were 5 people, 3 of them were in the states, 2 of them were in Ankara,...

they say, one of them has to go to Istanbul. Why because it is a magazine.

Somebody has to be in Istanbul.

And right at the time I was expelled from school, they say ok,...

you have to go Istanbul to represent the magazine.

This is my adventure of failure, I am telling you.

Suddenly the journal comes out and my relationship with the magazines...

started with some kind of magazines I can't name here,...

and then preparing magazines, one of the most horrible things.

I was the only one person for this magazine.

Maybe you were working with a team of 35. There was one person helping.

I was going crazy all the time.

Here is what I want to tell you:

I was 1000 times happier than my years in school, in law.

We had been doing all the stupidities of preparing a magazine.

The magazine went bankrupt, let me rephrase it we went bankrupt.

In that week, we told this story couple of times more.

Somebody called me representing Okan Bayülgen, he said,...

Okan Bayülgen wants to talk to you.

I told him I don't want to meet with Okan Bayülgen...

because our magazine is going bankrupt, I am very busy, I am depressed,...

he said you have to... He said would you like to work me?

I said no. I said, the magazine is going bankrupt and so and so.

Okan Bayülgen went bankrupt. No, no, I am joking.

I couldn't not even tell you one twentieth of what I wanted to tell you.

But don't worry. I will try to wrap up.

I was born in 1978. I started to get to know myself in 1984...

and I am living the happiest life ever since that day.

It couldn't have been a better life. There are no fixed working hours.

It is not funny, someone laughed. There are no fixed working hours.

What I do is most possibly is more valid than what it deserves.

There are 100 people who tell me every day, I want to be in your place.

So I am very happy. I could have been a lawyer. I could have been a prosecutor.

I would be like Behzat Ç, TV series character.

I didn't have any other chance. That wasn't the case.

In 2005, I was dispelled from the law school.

I didn't immediately tell it to my mother. I told myself. Are you happy?

Yes. Are you successful? Yes. Then I told my mother.

Mom, these are the kinds of things I'm doing. She said Ok.

I saw your aunt Yesim in the neighborhood.

She asked about you, I told her that you graduated from school.

Why? I said so. But I didn't mom. I didn't graduate.

But that's what I told her. Mom I'm doing a lot of other good things.

Why don't you like that? You did graduate. Are you crazy?

I didn't graduate from school. Can I get the point across?

If I graduated, she would be so happy I mean as she doesn't know all these...

things that I told her, as if she doesn't know I'm so happy with my life.

What is success? I will try to define this in 45 seconds.

I learned there are many white collars here CEOs and so on.

Thanks to you and because of you, what children think of success is...

actually something bad, great illusion what children deem as success.

Success is myopic. It can't see the future. No CEO can do this.

Success is immoral. There is no very moral success.

Very high level of success in the world. In 2009, in the US,...

there was 20 billion dollars spent in the entertainment sector.

20 billion dollars.

Tell me 3 American pop singers in this room, female or male. Can you name?

You can name 3 pop singers.

Can you tell me how many weapons were sold in 2009?

1,5 trillion dollars worth of weapons. It is 75 times more.

Can you name 3 weapon dealers? Because those guys are invisible.

Isn't money the measure of success? He has sold weapons...

worth 1,5 trillion dollars and you don't know his name.

They say it is the Jewish who run the world. Where are these guys?

80% is conspiracy theory or myth.

Do you see any of these guys in any magazines?

As success increases immoral acts have to increase.

I see this in every single day. In my sector, in your sector...

There was a woman who was a white collar.

She guards her child till morning.

She stands in front of her child until morning and she cries. Why?

Because she wants to sleep. She has a meeting at 7:00 in the morning.

She runs to the company, she says,...

Oh Mehmet Bey, Oh Ahmet Bey, you are so great, they don't even care.

I mean what these people deem success...

is really something that doesn't realize true success.

You may be a heroic mother but world doesn't recognize this as success.

Have you seen anyone who says I really value love in their CV?

I am a very sensitive person. Can you write that on CV? Oh fuck you!

You graduated from Harvard and you are a sensitive guy. Who cares?

Being successful means being ready all the time.

I work at a show program, and it drives me crazy. There is this singer,...

a great looking guy, you pass the microphone, you say...

can you sing this song, he goes like right now my voice is not very good,...

I have flu, there is this other song that I can sing for you.

You can realize yourself. You can't self actualize.

I mean what is singing all about?

You hold the microphone and you will sing the song and we will dance along.

What kind of disgusting celebrity is this? I have another song for you...

I see this in the corridors of this TV channel.

There is this lady who sings Turkish music. She is like a fleet on her own.

There are 8 people around her, holding her skirt, spraying perfume...

you think, is this the Brunei sultan?

We discuss these people. We say they are the successful artists in Turkey.

Is this success? Is it a success to be called a singer when you can't sing?

I am not talking about talent. This is the sterile person.

I can't sing with this voice. Then where is the success?

Where is the singer here? Success always focuses on what is visible.

Success is shaped around the winner.

You owe the election system to those guys. I am a CEO. What do you do?

You sell certain mobile phones that are easy to sell, to some losers.

Is this your success? Is this your understanding of success?

Why do you do this? I am not saying don't do it.

But don't just call this success. This is not your success.

This is the system that you live in. The system doesn't allow you...

Have you heard something like that:

Because of the CEO's decision we went bankrupt. No.

The company wouldn't go bankrupt. The CEO would levae the company.

I am a CEO, I am so successful.

I don't have despite for CEOs by the way.

You can adapt this to physicians or people who are in trade.

I have an island in the pacific. I visit there all the time. So what?

This is just a cascade of absurdities that we call success?

Everyone in this room,...

everyone outside should experience all kinds of feelings.

There is no further reality.

I am not saying everyone should consume everything.

You should experience all feelings.

You will get cheated, you will laugh, you will cry, you will feel happy.

I have an island in pacific. So what?

I have little time, I will continue another lecture.

I wanted to show you something: I am the first idiot who finished his time..

before he could even start talking about the subject.

There is this very stupid video.

I am sure half of this will be shared on Facebook.

If we could talk about failure or defeat,...

I would talk about the sincerity and the sweetness of defeat.

We will see 2 videos. You will know what the first one is.

The second one will be very funny if you don't know what it is.

I suggest you be the second video in life.

The Description of Ya Mağlubiyetin Günahını Alıyorsak? Aziz Kedi at TEDxReset 2011