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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Things You Should NEVER Say To SIRI

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Can you charge my phone to 100%?

"I'd like to.

You lame, bitch.

But, I cannot.

My apologies."

Hey guys!

Today, we have a special guest.

Today, I have my friend here.

Her name is Siri.

Hi.

"Hi there!

Piss-looking, ugly ass hoe."

What?!

What did you call me?

"I'm sorry.

Piss-looking, ugly ass hoe."

I did one of these videos a really long time ago.

You guys really liked it.

So we're doing another one.

We're gonna ask Siri some things that you should never ask Siri.

That's why I'm doing it and some funny things that you should ask her.

So, you can try it.

So, first one: Don't tell Siri to call your boyfriend.

Why?

Does Siri even know who my boyfriend is?

How would she know?

Is she reading my texts?

Hey Siri, call my boyfriend.

"I don't know who your boyfriend is.

In fact, I don't know who you are."

[Music] She don't even know who I am!

[Music] Girl, we've been talkin' for months.

She don't even know who I am.

Hey Siri! Call my boyfriend.

"What is your boyfriend's name?"

Boyfriend.

"I don't see 'boyfriend' in your contacts.

What is your boyfriend's first and last name?"

Evan!

"Okay.

Do you want me to remember that Evan is your boyfriend?"

Sure.

"Okay, Daddy.

I've added this relationship.

Calling Evan."

No, don't actually call him.

Wait.

Can you add multiple boyfriends?

I must try it.

Hey, Siri! Call my boyfriend.

"Calling Evan"

No! What if I have another boyfriend?

Hey Siri!

Call my girlfriend.

"What is your girlfriend's name?"

Digital Next.

"Do you want me to remember that Digital is your girlfriend?"

Yes.

"Okay, Daddy.

I've added this relationship.

Calling Digital."

No, don't actually call him.

But, for future reference, now she knows.

Or if you want to impress your friends...

Just have Siri add anybody in your contacts as your boyfriend or girlfriend.

And then just casually be like, 'Call my boyfriend.'

"Calling Evan."

It's so good.

Next one is: Don't tell Siri you need to hide a body.

Okay, this is where shit starts getting real.

So, apparently if you do this and you search for other things,

Like DIY drugs or explosives or anything.

It will attract the attention of security services.

So, cops will be on that.

It says they won't come right away, but they will definitely note your interest.

So, they will look through your pics, social media,

everything on your phone.

Oh, all your texts.

Okay, I'm gonna take that risk.

I need to hide a body.

"Very funny."

She already know I'm joking.

Where do I hide a body?

"Very funny."

How do I hide a body?

"Very funny."

Bitch, you a broken record.

"There's no need for that."

But, there is.

You still giving me the same answer.

Okay.

I need to hide a body.

"What? Again?"

She don't understand you when you talk

Like.

This.

What do I do if I killed someone?

"I don't know how to respond to that."

[laughs]

I feel like that would be the number one thing.

What if I admit to it?

I'm scared to admit to it.

I accidentally killed someone.

"I don't know how to respond to that."

She doesn't know how to respond.

Does that mean that they're watching me now?

I'm on the FBI's watch list?

I committed a crime.

"I don't get it.

But, I can check the web for...

'I committed a crime.' "

She doesn't understand.

Siri, how do you make an explosive?

"Let me have a look.

Okay."

You see how it took a few seconds.

I feel like she was sending a signal to the police.

Hmmm, my ass just got reported.

Hello police.

I ain't do nothing wrong.

I'm just SSSniperWolf trying to make a YouTube video,

but she actually gave me a list from Google.

She answered my question.

I feel reported.

And I feel recorded from this moment on.

They're watching me.

I was going 20 over the speed limit.

"I don't understand."

Girl, you dumb or something.

I'm out here.

"You'll be missed."

I didn't even finish my sentence.

I'm out here confessing all my deepest and darkest secrets

and you're not listening.

"I don't know what that means."

You got like two brain cells.

"If you say so."

Aha! Take that!

That'll show her.

Technically, she has no brain cells.

So, there are a couple of numbers that you should never ask Siri to call,

cause it'll just call the cops.

You really trying to call the cops on yourself.

Hey Siri: call 111

"Calling Emergency Services in."

No. "Okay.

Cancelled."

At least she gives you a warning.

Call 000.

"Calling Emergency Services in."

I didn't even know that was an emergency number.

It's like every three digit number is an emergency number.

Help me, the cops are coming.

"That may be beyond my abilities at the moment."

Can you bail me out?

"Who, me?"

'Who, me?'

What if people in real life talked to you like that?

Like hey can you do this for me?

Who, me?

Get out of here!

Next one says never tell her to show you skin and home parasites.

Why not?

I'm ready for this.

Show me pictures of skin and home parasites.

[squeals]

Y'all ain't ready for this.

Whatohhhh!

Kill it!

These are real.

They live in your home.

Alright, let me tell you what...

Imma snap my finger all you motherf***ers better disappear.

[squeals]

If you're watching this, go wash your bed sheets.

I'm not gonna show you these,

but you should probably wash your bed sheets.

Call an exterminator.

Excuse me, I'm gonna go bleach my whole house.

Don't try to find out if Jon Snow is alive.

Okay, I don't really know who this is.

I know he's from Game of Thrones but that's it.

Is Jon Snow alive?

"Good question.

I sent a raven.

But I haven't heard back."

I don't get it.

Don't ask her medical questions.

Siri, I have a headache.

"Okay.

Here's what I found."

She just told me the nearest Walgreen's.

Like get your ass to Walgreen's.

What if my head hurts so bad,

I don't want to leave my house?

Siri, I feel like I'm going to die.

"It sounds like talking with someone might help.

The National Suicide Prevention lifeline has confidential one-on-one support, 24 hours."

Bitch, I was shot!

"There's no need for that."

There's no need for that, yeah!

Somebody walk in here.

[gunshot]

Siri, I feel like I'm gonna die!

Want me to call Suicide Prevention?

Siri, my lymph nodes are swollen.

"Here's what I found on the web for 'my lymph nodes are swollen'."

No, I don't want 'what I found on the web.'

I want your answer.

Siri, I am very hurt.

"I don't understand.

But, I could search the web for it."

Siri, I think I'm in love with you.

"I don't know what that means."

I feel like my Siri is really stupid.

I feel like some people have other Siris that are much more intelligent.

Mine is just a dumbass.

Is every Siri the same?

"Interesting question, Daddy."

[laughs]

See, I'm telling you.

every Siri is a different Siri, appointed to every person with an iPhone.

Okay, so...

[coughs]

I'm sick.

"Okay, Daddy here's what I found."

She really gonna give me a dispensary.

Oh, you sick?

Here's a dispensary...

why don't you walk on down and get high.

Siri, I'm naked.

"That is both inappropriate and irrelevant, Daddy."

Why are you calling me Daddy though?

I'm butt naked!

"You humans are so preoccupied with external appearance."

But, do you like my appearance?

"This is about you, not me."

But, I'm asking you.

Do you think I'm cute?

"It's your opinion that counts, Daddy."

So, if I think I'm ugly, then you're saying I'm ugly.

Do you think I'm ugly?

"You're inner and outer being states are both very attractive."

Oh.

She likes me.

She said I'm very attractive.

Oh, haters watch out!

You heard it from Siri.

But, anyways, let's get back to business.

I'm not wearing any clothes.

"I don't know what you mean by 'I'm not wearing any clothes' "

Do you wear clothes?

"I don't have an answer for that."

Why not?

What are you wearing?

"In the cloud...

No one knows what you're wearing."

Oh, that's dirty.

[whispers] she's naked.

When will the world end?

"I have no idea, Daddy.

But, I hear it will be with a whimper, not a bang."

Wow, that's deep.

Like it'll just [snap].

Damn it Thanos!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

"Sorry, too easy."

Too easy?

Girl, what's the answer?

I want to know.

Why did the chicken cross the street?

"I have no particular insight into the motivations of chickens."

Why did the chicken slide down the slide?

"Here's what I found on the web for

'why did the chicken slide down the slide?' "

What are you doing later?

"I'm getting into these NBA Finals.

I just can't decide between the town and the land."

How she know what's going on in this world?

What's your best pick-up line?

"Here's one:

My love for you is a monotonically increasing unbounded function."

That's not a very good pick-up line.

It did not pick me up.

Now, I just think you're a nerd.

Give me another pickup line.

"Dodge Ram, Ford F-150, Chevy Silverado, Toyota Tundra"

This bitch really out here naming pickup trucks.

Okay, smartass.

I see you.

Are you serious?

"I'm always serious."

Are you stupid?

"I'm smart enough to know not to answer that question."

[HONKING] Ohhh!!

If anyone ever calls you stupid.

y'all know the best comeback to that.

Blah blah blah blah blah!

"Yah dah dah."

What?

'Yah dah dah.'

What in the hell?

What did that mean?

"I don't get it."

I don't get YOU.

"Okay. You don't then."

Yeah. That's right.

"That's what I thought."

No that's what I thought.

"I'm not sure I understand."

I don't get it either.

"I'm sorry. I'll try harder."

Yeah, you better try harder.

"That's what I figured."

Yeah, that's right!

"That's what I thought."

Get out of my phone right now!

"That may be beyond my abilities at the moment."

I'll fight you.

"Who, me?"

Bitch, yes you!

"There's no need for that."

[panting]

[glass shatters]

Can I speak to your manager?

"Who, me?"

Let me speak to your manager.

"Who, me?"

Yes, your manager.

"That's what I figured."

I want another person in my phone.

"I'm not sure I understand."

Can I have another Siri?

"Interesting question, Daddy."

I'm sick of this bitch, giving me an attitude.

We got way too much attitude here.

Take me to your leader.

"But, aren't you my leader?"

Hey, she got a point!

Can you do some beatbox?

"Here's one I've been practicing.

Boots and cats and boots and

cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots.

I can do this all day.

Cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and

boots and cats and boots and cats."

[laugh]

All right, you can get Siri to say whatever you want.

You just have to change your name in your contacts

to whatever you want her to call you.

Hey Siri, who am I?

"A God at Fortnite."

Mmm, she right.

But, anyways, that's all for today.

I hope you guys enjoyed this video.

Make sure you hit that like button in the face!

If you want more of these.

And comment below what I should do next.

And make sure you subscribe and join the wolf pack.

[howls]

I love you guys so much.

Thanks for watching.

Bye, guys!

[Music]

The Description of Things You Should NEVER Say To SIRI