Hello everybody. My name is Markiplier and welcome to jurassic world evolution
We're gonna play this and we're gonna get some dinos and they're probably gonna kill everybody on the island [hair quiff]
And then Jeff Go- Jeff Goldblum is gonna talk. IAN: My name is Dr. Ian Malcolm. You may have heard of me. MARK: Uh-huh
I: Well correction, you should have heard of me. Especially now that you're here. M: Ego, much?
I: So, before you are the islands that you need to manage.
M: Mmm. I: If you can.
I: The five deaths
I: Jeez, if only-
I: If only there had been five. M: What kind of name for island is five deaths?
C: I'm Cabot Finch. M: Hi.
C: Public relations and crisis management, and I'm here to help you.
C: You'll start by building a Hammond creation lab.
M: We're good. Okay. What's a Hammond creation lab?
C: We've already started on an enclosure for you.
M: Uh huh. C: You should just attach it to the side, but watch out for dinosaurs! Hah! Just kidding...
M: *nervous laughter*
M: My whole family was murdered by dinosaurs! Ooh, something tells me I probably shouldn't blast it right in the middle of the fence there
But you know what? I like living on the edge. Let's do (it) right... there
C: Let's focus on what you're here to do. M: Uh huh.
C: Which is create dinosaur facilities on the islands we call the five deaths.
*weird Mark noise* lol im dyingXD
C: Actually, Las Cinco Muertes, because Spanish is the lingo of choice around here.
M: Of course it is. Alright.
C: You'll need to connect it to the pre-existing network of paths and the power grid
M: Okay, oh
M: Okay, all right, I di-I did it!
C: Now comes the real test: incubating a dinosaur. M: Oh boy!
C: You'll start with a struthiomimus. M: I know what that is. (suuuuuure)
C: Go to the creation lab and pick a hatchery Bay. M: uh huh. C: There's enough genome data for your first viable dinosaur.
M: Do I have to sit on it myself? Oh boy, I like him.
M: Oh, yeah, that's a good struthiomimus.
I'm gonna call you Screwthee or Mimo. I'm gonna call you Mimu. They're gonna be Mimu. All right, modified genome?
Can I do that? Can I do that? Can I just start picking random pieces in and out of this? Attack? Why?
Why do you? Uhuh! Why do we need attack and defense stats? That's what I'm kind of curious about. All right, whatever uhh..
You know, it's probably fine.
Apply gene. Okay. Viability is low. I like low via- null gene?
Let's put bat DNA in here that's probably pretty good. Lifespan goes up. That's nice. I always like a long life.
Yeah, okay, let's do that. Yeah, let's um, let's do that. Yeah, I like that. A nice whatever the-wait what is-
Ohhh. *excited gasp*
Oh, That's what that is. Okay, apply and then I didn't apply the bat, let's apply the bat. Okay, that's probably good.
Just mix and match. It's like a potluck dinner, but with genes- okay, incubate. Alright, I got warm but-
I: The machinations of the ambitious, undoing extinction. Playing with nature's laws.
What can possibly go wrong?
C: Come on doctor. You know, we've learned so much and invested even more in our Jurassic operation since the last time!
I: Yes, Mr. Finch.
I: Yes, the- the last time there's always the last time and a next
M: Okay, you're being real pessimistic about that, Jeff Goldblum.
Why are you doing that? Okay ready for release? Oh. Go! Be free!
Have fun! Woo!!
M: Mimu! Wow...*inaudible* I: It begins. The most precious moment. A result of
I: incalculable actions and reactions
I: trials and errors
I: Genetic mutations- M: Uh huh? I: Unknowable combinations
I: Chaos, all leading to a living, breathing,
thinking being. M: Wow. I: An entity distinct and unique and now we,
I: you, just...
I: manufacture them.
I: So, well done. I guess.
M: Thank you. I'm proud of what I've done. Jesus, Jeff Goldblum (is) so mad.
Why is he so mad? Just cuz a few thousand people died. The Dinos. Is that really- is that really that bad?
Probably. All right. Anyway, okay Mimu, let me get a good look at you. Oh, you're so cute
Okay, where- what? Where are you going? All right Mimu, you're doing great
I'd like Jeff Goldblum, like pessimistically nagging me for every little mistake that I do. What kind of stats have you got? great stats.
Drinking so nicely
Okay. Alright. Good-goodbye. I guess. Did I do good?
Did-did I- did I do good? What is this?
M: Are you just leaving me on my own now? C: The hammer foundation has three main areas of interest:
C: entertainment, and *confused Mark*
C: science. M: Why did you say it like that? I: l already nudge the heads of each division to reach out to you personally
I: They'll offer opportunities and incentives for you to be part of their team
I: Choose one of their contracts.
I: It'll help you develop your facility. M: Why did you say security like *uptight* security?
Hmm. Something tells me security is probably the most important, but I-
I, as a youtuber, I am all about that entertainment. Oh, hell yeah.
IS: Hey, I'm Isaac. M: Hey. IS: I've been hearing good things about you. M: *laughs* IS: I'm in charge of
IS: the entertainment division here. What good is the world's greatest show if no one sees it? Don't answer. That's rhetorical and
IS: painfully obvious.
IS: What I'm saying is that we need people in our parks.
IS: Fill up our facilities with warm bodies. Numbers bring revenue, excitement, and opportunities.
M: Warm juicy bodies. Mmm
filled to the brim with meat
Delicious bodies. Oh
M: Oh, we're gonna fill this park-huh? C: Contracts can be requested on the division heads inside the control room.
C: Complete these to increase your reputation and gain additional revenue to keep expanding your park. M: Ah,
Okay. All right, then. I'll do exactly that. I'll do exactly what you're saying
Actually, I didn't hear a word what you're saying. It all went straight over my head. I was just thinking about those
Expedition Center, let's try...
M:Yeah. C: So, one more thing. Your reputation. Your "rep" quote unquote
C: Keep an eye on it, okay?
C: If you have a solid reputation with a division, you're more likely to benefit from them. Financially, I mean.
C: But, like life, it's a balancing act
C: Each division is vying for your attention. And if they don't get it, they tend to take it personally. M: Wow, okay
All right. This is a business. I don't take anything personally in the business. It's all about the finances and the numbers
That's all we got to worry about. If we don't have the finances and the numbers, nothing's gonna work out for any of us.
C: The entertainment division is taking notice of your success. M: Oh.
C: As your reputation increases with them, so too does the opportunity to tackle more challenging missions. M: Let's do this. How??
How do I do oh
IS: Hey, It's Isaac. M: Hey!
IS: I got some cool stuff you need to be a part of, so I'm putting it out there.
IS: Come on and help the winning team. Mine. M: Oh my god.
I- I will. I absolutely will. I want to be part of a winn- I'm a winner!
I've always told myself. I'm a winner. My mom always always have told me that I, I am a straight-up winner
All right. Okay. There we go. I'm staring at like how do I do this? Start. I'm ready.
M: Oh, come on now, you know you wanna give me that money. That's where people come in. IS: All right, look. I am all about the show, M: Me, too.
IS: and with these dinosaurs, we have one unlike any other on the planet! M: Wow..
IS: Theme parks rely on drawing people in, and what is more attractive than new dinosaurs? Well, me
IS: Of course *Isaac chuckles* (i dont like him)
IS: Yeah, no, what I'm saying is let's get some fresh dinos in the hopper.
M: Dinos in the hopper, like a paintball gun, we're gonna shoot dinos at people? Because that sounds
fucking awesome. I would love to do that. Can we get a giant Dino gun?
That just like really- their mouths open to scoop up as many warm bodies as possible. Oh, yeah
M: I think we're all- C: The fossil center lets you extract DNA from fossils and amber in order to create new
C: dinosaur genomes. M: Wow. C: Exciting! M: Yeah, that actually is exciting.
Viewable genomes allow you to create dinosaurs at the hand creation lab expedition. Sometimes bring back extra fine. Zeca meat sold for cash
I like cash. I like cash, um view fossils
Got Struthio. Should we actually make the Struthio better? Oooh.
I think that's what we need, too. Let's extract that bad boy. Oh, yeah.
What about this one? Probably? Yeah, I mean shouldn't we extract all these? I mean selling them would be great
But I'm gonna entertain people, I want to get all of these. I want to get them in a big box
We're gonna create like an MMA cage
We're gonna put all the dinos in there and they're just gonna Duke it out as hard as they can
M: What? C: An expedition Center will allow you to send dig teams around the world in search of dino fossils. M: I-I've already got it.
C: DNA can be extracted from these fossils which our scientists can then turn into living breathing
C: Dinosaurs and that's our true lifeblood
M: Okay, thank you. I was already in the middle of that. I was doing just fine. We're gonna get the carnivorous
C: Good! Your first expedition team is out. M: Thank you. C: They'll bring back what they find to the fossil center for extraction
M: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for noticing how hard I work. (mark are you kidding)(scroll through the comments once in a while)
M: So we've almost got the genome that we need- C: Your job is simple, really.
C: Create dinosaurs which attract visitors to your facilities brings in capital, money, huh, which means you can do more research
M: Money, huh!! C: to create better facilities and create more dinosours and there you go!
C: Circle of life, development and resources, nature and commerce. See, simple.
M: MONEY, HUUUUUU
M: You gotta get your moNEY, get the caPTIAL so you can make the money, wink-wink, warm bodies
HHH?! I get it. I understand we're on the same page. Okay, so I didn't get enough I got to get one more
But when my expedition comes back, then I'm gonna be able to do what we need to do. But let's see what we got here
C: The research center lets you improve your park in various, exciting ways. New buildings, upgrades, and more await.
M: Okay, that's all you're gonna say about it? Okay, all right, whatever. Like I give a shit about upgrades, all right
How does this help me entertaining?
Give me an upgrade that allows a t-rex to try to juggle with its tiny arms, because that sounds hilarious.
I want to see a T-Rex trying its best like,
"I can't do it" then it has to lean all the way down to pick it up when it drops some that sounds hilarious.
That'll help it juggle. Helliya intuitive learning that seems obvious. Did they come back yet? They got to be close, right?
Dude shut your hole
Wow, that's very high-quality. Oh, we're gonna extract that DNA we're gonna get ourselves a t-rex
Let's see, we need small power station, okay
I'm Owen great Ohioans my friends
I've seen things I'd rather not talk about but it hasn't dampened my commitment to the dinosaurs the Raptors more generally and me and blue
Specifically we have a special relationship. Like what I have is clear less complicated
Anyway, nice to meet you
Who the fuck are you power is something we simply cannot ignore when it comes to our operations now power we
We we don't have any power
Who the fuck was that? Who was that? That wasn't Chris?
Really? Well, they got Jeff Goldblum two voices, but they didn't get Chris
Horrible that felt wrong I feel dirky no, no no, so I've already heard that
Putting a t-rex in the same enclosure as my other dinosaur is a bad idea, right? Okay. All right
However, I know that's a bad idea
Mm-hmm. Okay, we don't have any gene. They're treating these creatures like grist for the mill or cropping them up as curiosities. I
Don't know what grist is but you know
That's all right. Robust digestion really gonna need a robust
statistic when you uh
Meet up with me Moo there a all right. This seems pretty good. I don't think we have any more that we could do
So we've applied that. All right now, let's
incubate this bad boy right up
My Park that's why I need to build observation decks, that's what I need
All right. I need to send people on an expedition. All right. Oh, yeah
We're gonna need more Sarah to Saurus DNA. Hmm for those warm
And you'll learn once he's learning to juggle. Then he'll have an ambition for us. He'll get a taste for learning
No, he's not done yet. Ah
Well, I'm an impatient son of a bitch you need to hurry up with what you're doing okay genetic research but
Let's try medical treatment. What do we got hook worm parasite. Oh, no, they can get it. No
Hmm, they can get sick. Well, I don't want my guy to get sick. I want him to be healthy
Percent healthy unstoppable even that's like my ideal for my dinosaurs. I want them to be completely
Boy oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy
There you go. Why are they looking down? They should be looking up
Yeah. Yeah, no hookworms for you
Very scary, I like your horn
Do that by making sure their needs
More demands and less understanding. Oh
Yeah, there we go. Oh, he's on to something Oh Nemo, maybe run
Oh boy, maybe maybe 100 well now
We reach the inevitable
life baguettes death
But here's the question. You gotta ask yourself was this avoidable?
of course not
Death it's always coming. But could you have delayed it?
That's maybe another story. Ah
Could I have delayed it? Mmm? Probably not. The only thing I know is how to accelerate the process
All right. Now I just need to send some humans in to go collect the corpse. Oh, it's gone. Alright, never mind then well
This guy, I don't know. It is named Jerry. Jerry is fed
Jerry has been fed. And you know, we're all happier for it. Like what come back Jerry Jerry
Welcome to the islands. So here's our basic conundrum. We want to keep our animals under control while simultaneously
Encouraging instinctive behaviors because these animals have potential as combatants
Everyone's fear object myself included is to have these animals running free and loose in the park
But we can't exploit them globally without taking some chances
like I like the
Combatant thing you were saying there. That sounds real cool. How do I make him fight?
Because that that sounds real cool. All right
constructing power of fast food
I've already got one but we're too got one here the park this little enclosure this very fast food
It's running as fast as it can like for its life
But it's just not fast enough is what you're saying. Okay, so I got to get faster food
I want a nice restaurant overlooking the the death of the zone here
I think this is like this is this is gonna be
Gettin C shelter period why do we need that? Nothing's gonna go wrong gift shop fad all fast food
Oh, it's too big build it in
Some C an issue with uh anything that's heavy. Oh, here's a door right here, okay
Well, let's just let's just plop Ruth at yep. Oh, yeah that looks
Don't see an issue. Well, I don't think unless you guys see an issue which I don't think any at all
Well, that's I already knew about
Dead dinosaurs should be removed with a transport team to prevent disease. Oh, well, I guess there's no corpse cuz it was eaten
So, oh well. All right. Let's get power
let's get power going from here to
That's looking good. Now now we're gonna have some power. Why is there no power. Oh, do I need a substitution?
Okay, instead of a wait. No, let's let's how do I how do I bowl Dario bulldoze that let's get rid of that
Let's put a substitution. That's not a substitution
Oh snap that bad boy right in there, they're really they really know what they're doing here. Alright, so we got to build a road
Let's see if we build a road from here Oh
Bill cost obstructed. Well, we're just gonna have to get it out of the way now, aren't we?
Okay, we don't need demolish gate one. Yeah
Yeah, there we go, okay, this is probably fine, alright we'll put this right Oh
A nice curve to it. That's what that's what we all really like now people can eat and see look
He's friendly he's coming all he's so curious easily watch this
Mmm, this looks fun
Buddy hum hum diddly dum dee humble dum dee dee
Dinosaur threat, he's threatened who's threatening my dinosaur. Oh, come on now. Oh, he's running. He's scared Oh,
No, come back Oh someone pushed him out of his hole. I can't believe this I can't oh
He's so scared. Somebody go up and give him a bag all huh
Hum diddly dum dee dum diddly doo see look you just try to understand
If you just try to understand them
They're not so bad. We're not so different after all
Entertainment objective look at that
Are you going look see he's just he's hot he's looking for some shade
What a beautiful beautiful creature. Hey, look at that
Research item from research center. Oh, I am making money. I
Am making a profit. Oh
Hell yeah. Oh, yeah, I gotta go. I got a research something control room research
Building that one got it. People want to get clothes. I mean their clothes are gonna get real bloody
So, you know they want to they want to definitely have that. Where are you gone?
You little scamp. Come Dooley. Ho ho Lee hyung. Are you going for a jog? Yeah exercise is very important
See look at that. They're going to the fast-food restaurant. They're totally fine Oh,
What's wrong? What's wrong buddy? You lonely you do. You want a friend? Oh I can get you a friend
I'll get you a friend, don't you worry, I'll I'll get you a friend. I know it's real
Keep it up champ slugger. Oh, man, you are really really
Really doing great. Oh boy
All right, he's already going friends already on the way see he's not causing nobody no trouble see that's the thing
This guy's causing nobody. No trouble
He's full as the thing. So he's not, you know, he's not he's very comfortable. Look how comfortable he is. Look at that comfort
That's so nice. Ah
Let's see. We got more fossils. Yes, we do. Let's go research those. Um,
Well, we already got them. I mean I might as well I'm gonna be making money hand over fist anyway. Ooh silver
Alright sure fine by me. Let's go send another expedition
Anybody else? Let's see. Oh hang hang go Saurus. Alright, sure. I don't know what that means
But let's go off to the hanging along until our friend is ready. Oh, it's gonna be a while
Okay, so we need to research something
Daily to do blue, dude
Intensive repair. Okay, that's probably pretty good. I should probably get like them a forest camo so that they can't be seen
When they're like in the trees cuz I maybe he's good enough cuz I don't know where he is. I mean, he's probably fine but
Yeah, that's probably fine. Okay, so he's off doing his own thing. He's having fun over there. I
Will get Oh see no danger, no danger no more. I don't know where he went. But no, where is he?
Oh, come on now Oh over there. Okay. Now he's having a good time. Okay. All right
So we need to build
Hell yeah, people are always gonna be wanting to buy clothes once they're uh,
you know after they piss their pants from the dinosaurs not that there's any actual danger, but you know people probably
Probably be a little surprised at least it's like a jump scare that eats you, you know
really like the original jump scare was when a tiger would just
Rawr from out of the out of the out of the forest like you you would be like, oh that was whoa
You got me and then he gets you you know about that was really the original jump scare
And I think people forget that hell. Yeah research. Did we get more fossils?
Nice, I don't know if your Wang is I don't know what that is, but I like it shewag
ciona debt, no dinosaur DNA
Rhenium, whatever that is. All right, we're good. It's time for friend
Look at you
You are gonna get along so well, I can't even imagine I can't even imagine it
I'm out of money that's impossible
That's impossible. That's absolutely unpossible. If you think I'm out of money, you're just out of your mind, so don't even try that
Alone or in a group, you just don't want to run into them. Oh, he's curious. Don't fuck
Her what are you doing? No, come on, man. He's just oh
Bad bad Sarah Michael Sarah
That's bad. That's real bad. You're bad
uh-oh alone or in a group
That's no crunching the guests, that's a bad that's bad
That's real bad. Are you gonna behave yourself? You're gonna be you take a drink you think about what you've done?
That's enough crunching for one day. Okay, and shockingly no one is stopping
Hmm no one seems to be upset about this
Well, this is whatever your name was JJ
What have we talked about crunching the guests? Ah
Can't believe man more paper
I guess what I'm doing is working people want that real exciting experience people
I just want to like really sink their teeth into this they want to like latch on none none
They wanted to feel they want to feel they want to feel something real people will pay for those experiences. So
Yeah, it was pretty good. All right
operations ranger station
Resupply feeders. Okay, they need to resupply the feeders. Okay, that's probably important
Pretty good. How is that not connected by itself? You'd think that would be connected by itself. All right. There we go
This is our new director of operations hello
I'm dr. Dua. I run the science division of our operation
Okay, you're going to need to build your reputation in the science division not easy with me around but you'll manage
That means managing our dinosaur population and seeing that they are flourishing
No, I'm okay. All right. No, I'm good. Thank you no need for that. I'm already well taken care of we've got
So much cool stuff happening here, and we do not need anything from you. I am out of money
What did I need to build a viewing gallery where even is a viewing gallery you ink it
Ah, I can build it. I can still build it. Oh, they're gonna get such a good view. Oh
That's so good all view away
We'll see see look Michael Cera is still in here. Can I name them? Can I do that? Alright, you're Michael
My looks like you've run out of power Sarah
I don't know if I spelled that right look more power stations or
Increase your outlet Oh increase so I can just like overload this thing. Can I just like blast it up?
Like really just slam it out there. Can I just like oh
Can I just like tell him to go harder? Well, I can't build one. So what do you expect me to do?
How about a power upgrade? I don't know. I don't have enough money
Huh? Where's my missions? Which where's where's my missions? I thought I was I had a million dollar contract
I'm making super money
But what the hell I mean these guys they expect so much out of me, but I can only do so much
Okay, we're gonna get an observation deck
Is what we aim to give our guests make them appreciate the little things
Yeah, and the big things with the teeth and glassy eyes that could swallow them whole
Yeah, appreciate those things preach them preach those things. We're gonna preach him hard. Oh, they are preaching
Oh, you better believe that here in this place
We preach everything that we got one thing has no power, but that's okay. It's only the ranger station
We didn't need that anyway. All right, so we need
Construct live bait feeder. Whoo. I like live bait. How do I how do I do that?
Then the guests is it in the guest section
I'm guessing it just like picks a guest up by crane and just drops them right in is that what it is live bait? Oh
Just too expensive. Why is everything in this game? So expensive?
Man maybe there's another dinosaur park that wants to buy Michael Cera good Dynes already has often just he's like wow
combat infamy Oh
Can I actually make fighting bits? Can I actually honestly make fighting pits for my dinosaurs? Oh
Yes. Oh, yes, so I'm making a profit. I guess I just got to wait till I get a hundred
There we go contract, oh request a new contract give me a new contract entertain
Okay, can I have a hundred thousand what is the contract
build connect and power a hotel Oh
Smart. Oh no. No Michael, Michael
What the hell we're gonna get a hotel eventually once we get this live bait feeder. We are going to be so
So good. We still making money
Guest injury lawsuits. Oh, that's not so bad
Well, we can we can manage with that. Oh, no. I know we can't manage with that
Something seems something about my business model doesn't seem right
Hmm. Maybe you guys a lot of look behind you you ever thought about turning around you ever thought about
I'm sorry. This is this is shouldn't Oh, your Park is bankrupt
You will need to raise castle with what you have sell unnecessary buildings fossils dinosaurs. Oh, I can sell a dinosaur
How do I do that?
How do I sell a dino?
How do I sell a dino?
Can I sell a dino?
You're you were Jeremy. You're Jeremy. How do I sell to Jeremy?
Oh No gerrae god damn it Jeremy
All right, these guys they were they were behaving well
And and I I think like it's I think it's videogames violent video games are really influencing these dinosaurs
They're really causing them to come like out of control. They like you play one violent video game and the next thing you know
Eating up people crunching a left and right crunch crunch crunch can't do it. Yeah, I can't sell one eye
Is impossible to sell hmm well, oh
The ranger station. How do we sell that?
Wait, what if I just click the demolish button? Oh
There we go. Oh wait. We're still not enough dead. Hmm. All right. Well, the one thing we don't need is power
Well, maybe we do we need to power that
I've gotta bolt. Someone's gonna come up to to a micheal cera over here with a bulldozer and just be like
Taking you down no, don't worry. Oh, well the roads if I sell the roads we don't need roads
I should have realized I'm so smart. All right, we got this. No roads, no roads. It's more natural this way
Anyway, we're building trees too. So that's just like double extra plus
All right. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, nope. Nope, none of this none of this
Oh, yeah, Wow, let's get that money back. I know this none of this none of this no more clothes
We don't need clothes and we've got money. We've got money. All right, so we just need to power a hotel
Let's demolish this let's demolish this most most of this. Let's demolish this and let's build a hotel
That seems pretty good to me live bait feeder, right? This is the only exhibit that we really need right there
that's real nice and then
We're gonna build a hotel
Oh, there we go. Oh that's looking pretty
Hahahaha million dollars. Yeah million dollars
Maximum happiness and our guest numbers are up as a result. That's what makes the entertainment division the envy of the rest
My god, you are so right. No scientific research improves
Of course, I'd never tell this to Isaac directly. I was going to add
Nope. No, no too late
This maximum happiness people are so so happy
People are so unbelievably happy. No. Wait. What are goat goat goat goat
Alright Jeremy you can crush the goat if you want I guess
The goat Jeremy come on now
Jack look behind you, maybe 200. No, but I was looking at the hotel
No, I had a suite with a veal reserved now. Can I get my deposit back?
Are they gonna fight? Oh, this is their meeting for the first time. It's a beautiful thing. They're meeting
Their meeting their meeting for the first time
Wait, Jeremy. No
Michael Sarah wants to say hi three words
Contract you yes
Contract me. No. All right, I'm good
Give me a million dollars or give me nothing because I don't even want to be bothered with that. Oh, man. All right
Yeah, we're doing so fresh and fun
Better myself. I probably could have but I'm not saying as I said
Yeah, nice job. Thank you
Thank you so much
All right, so we need to make this this place popping
You need to make this place popping. We need a gift shop. Whoo three stars
Have fun on that one that there's a lot of fun. We're gonna get this gift shop going. We got this
All right, we're gonna have a restaurant right by the live bait feeder. So it's like Michael Cera geremy have like a choice
All right. Let's see obstructed by nothing now right this good. Oh, yeah
this is how we're gonna make our money back anyway, so and then
Let's put a closed shop back up
We got rid of it for a little bit, but it is coming back by popular demand and we are good to go
Oh hell yeah. All right. We're making a profit
We're actually making up. No, we're not. Okay. Never mind. We're we we are not I thought we were
But we're not so you kind lied to me
Just saying this you kind of lied to me and that's really rude. I don't like that but whatever
Oh look, they went back in the end. Oh, that's where else
Wait, I want to see if Jeremy goes back in there and then I'm gonna see if I can build a fence get in come
On Jeremy, come on. Oh it was that Michael. Is that Jeremy? Oh, come on. Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh, no, okay
We'll just do a fence we don't need to get in there anyway, ah
problem solved now the Dinos have a steady food supply and
They're back in the enclosure, which I think now that I look back on it
This is horrible this horrible I shouldn't be having to open this something so funny
This is something so funny like I know it's horrible, but just where they go
What does this say about me as a person what is this
All right, we're running out of money ah, but I just solved the problem guys come on
You're acting like I'm the bad guy here. Do we got to get rid of our hotel? Oh
Man, but okay. Oh
Man, all right. We're getting real hotel. We need the money. We need the money and I know I'm about that money
We need an expedition place. That's
Expedition Center, that's really where the money was right? No, it was the fossil son knows the expedition and the fossil center
Right. Okay, breaking out. What the hell Michael Sarah you. Okay. Oh, no, Michael. Oh, he's fine
Michael be careful be careful. I wouldn't want anything to happen. Oh, oh, oh, oh, they're very huddled
No, oh there's just trampling, um
Maybe you guys should turn around
something Bad's happening here the guys have you uh
Have you noticed the UM? Oh, well, I guess
He's gonna poop on him. All right. Well, is this how the movie?
These guys are having a great time
These guys are having the time
We got a gift shop. We got us fast food and we got a clothes
we got everything we need I'd
Be bankrupt by now
I don't know why I'm not I have no idea why I'm not I'm trying to think of how to
Do screw this up more and I can't think of anything. Wait. Hang on
Maybe I can give me oh wait. There's only two. Where'd the rest of them?
I was gonna give them a way out but uh, apparently they're all gone
So look eventually at some point at some point the lawsuits are gonna end and I'm gonna start making money again
Want another concert act. Give me give me give
Give to me I'm bringing this contract to you while it's still hot
Well, I can't exactly make an herbivore right now anyway
I don't know how to sell a dinosaur. That's the problem. I want to sell this dinosaur. I
Want to sell but I how do I sell a dinosaur? How do I sell I have to Google?
There's a other guru this oh, I got a tranq him
This is garbage
I won't stand through this if
I thought this was America
He the goat
Sorry, I thought this was America, I thought that we could
Buy and sell dinosaur whenever we want. I thought this was America. I
Am I am I'm outraged
Can't believe this I can't I can't drink it cuz I don't have this Center to drink I
So I can't exactly sell it so
Alright, oh my god, is there a possibility of making money
Lawsuits are going down
there's every possibility I could bring this back give me 30 minutes and we're gonna we're gonna be
Oh, there's two guys. Look, let me see
I can't well I can't break the fence cuz I can't build another fence, but they seem to be well hidden
I don't think these guys know they're there so
Michael Sarah and Jeremy are doing real good. If only I could move the live bait feeder in there, but
Alas, its yeah not no restart restart
You want me to restart this?
But but I've made so much progress
While you want, are you all
Really? Oh, yeah, how bankrupt do I need to be to lose?
Like honestly, how bankrupt would I need to be? Is there is there a lose scenario in this game?
There's no loss scenario in this game. I can't believe that
How is there no lost scenario?
Alright, okay. Alright. Let's restart Island art. Let's do this
Would dick around more but I ran out of things to dick around with my next thing
My next thing I'm gonna do is I'm gonna build a fighting pit. I want a fighting pit her
Oh, they're gonna talk to me again. Oh my god, don't shut up. Oh my god. Oh,
God, shut up
Shut up shut
Up. Oh my god. I have to do the tutorial again. This is worse than waiting. Oh my god. I want to die
I want to die. I wanna die. I wanna die. I wanna die. Just kill me. I want to die
Alright we got this. Okay. Boom boom baby start with a struthiomimus. No, I won't remember
Wait, it remembers my genome progress
Remember remembers it remembers my genome progress
Remembers it remembers bird
We're back in business, baby
We're back in business
Oh, let's bill - we got to get to we got to get to you know
We got to get to is it still bird DNA still birds still birds? I bet it's still bird. It's still birds
All right, we got this bird's all the way baby. Bring out the birds. Oh, we got this. Oh hell. Yeah, that one's going. Oh,
Yeah release it release it to the world
release it release
Yeah, Jeremy's back
Jeremy's back baby. Oh hell. Yeah. Michael cera is on the way. Jeremy is back. Oh, yeah
Alright, so what I got what up, my problem was I wasn't doing it as intelligently as I could now
I've got a second chance. Alright, this is not so bad. Not so bad
Alright Jeremy you're gonna be named. Oh four and a touch stars as well. Jeremy's at. All right, let's go
Send people on
Can't be wait. No, I have to incubate it
well you it says I have to incubate a struthiomimus it says I have to
You guys side it says I have to I have to do this with you - we're gonna have lizard
Intensive repair, it'll be able to be eaten over and over and over again
It says I have to so I'm gonna do it go be free
For a little bit be free be free
run run while you can
Precious sweet life. Oh boy. I'm gonna name you your meme
Ooh, this is me moves back baby me moves back me wants a fresh drink of water. Don't you mean?
Okay, but we're going back to Isaac baby because Isaac knows what's up. Dad dinosaur. Oh no, what happened?
Crunch crunch Oh, Jeremy never changed Jeremy never changed. All right Research Center. Hi
That's a 40 million that's 3 million that's for 3 million and you know, who's about to be born. Whoo, yes
It's a free million. No, wait, no
Yes, I am all about the show oh
There we go, we've got our dinos oh
We do we do strive by making sure their needs
Just with more demands and less understanding
You are right you are right my friend those guests are so demanding Oh Dody Beto
Whatever. No one wants to hear it loser. Anyway, yeah, okay. Alright, let's put this down
I guess people can be a little bit. Well fed. Everyone's got to be well-fed here the dinos everything we are Oh,
Well tonight wait, what about that contract that I just accepted? Wait, no, but my contract I just know I had a
But you but you said you'd I was gonna get a million
You should you should but you said I was but that's not who you said. I was supposed to get the the the this deal
Did I get a million from that or any clothes shop and a viewing gallery? Alright, we need the viewing gallery
That's what I originally that's what I originally wanted
I want I want to put the the viewing gallery right here
And then the live feeder is going to be like, alright, actually no
We'll have the viewing gallery over here. And then the live feeder will be right in the way
I want to see him like run for it. I'll be great. Alright, so we got that that's being built
We're gonna build a closed shop. And then these guests are gonna be safe and happy whatever
That's raining sell umbrellas. I gotta sell umbrellas charge $20 for the non, Briella
The little things like this little goat
we're gonna have a live bait feeder right on top of this hill it's gonna be like
It's gonna be like feeding hell or maybe like right here. Oh, we can't they we really want to see that goat. They're
Right there. Oh, yeah, they are
That couldn't be better that couldn't be better. Oh, yeah there. Oh, they're so happy. Well, they're so happy. Oh, they're so happy
I'm happy they're happy. We're all happy. We're so happy. Alright, go again
Million dollars a million a million
Look at a bulb. I guess. We're so happy
We're doing great Oh
Triceratops, that sounds like a friend of the
Jeremy and Michael Cera, are you just waiting for a live bait feeder? Can I just
Do every few minutes discarding any leftovers must be restocked periodically by Ranger teams
Different dinosaurs require different diets make sure to place the correct type of feeder in an enclosure
Haha, I mean you're made of red meat or what
What does that mean - that live bait feeder, you know, it's gonna pop out
Wait, did one pop out already
When did one pop out did you guys see that get eaten a bit you did a bit?
You do Wow, look at the Dino is so scary. Oh, that's a nice detail with the way the Sun reflects off of that
Oh, that's such a nice detail actually play the game not like seven years old
Well, just you wait because I'm only building up to the point where I can ruin absolutely everything
It's it's a it's a comin don't you worry? Let me see if I can get that hotel contract
No, I'm not gonna do that, please. Oh shit. Alright, well, that's I tried and tried and it didn't work
Hey see you sooner. That's not important. That's probably important you waiting. He's waiting. Isn't he? He's so smart
It's that bird DNA that I put inside of him Oh
Alright we got silver cell that let's see more DNA and oh good DNA. Alright, we're gonna get that and then we need another expedition
Partially depleted does that mean that we can go again and it's okay
Mean if it's partially depleted that means it can still go but I don't know if it's gonna be like a reduced deficiency or anything
Like that. Are you still come on? There we go
Alright enclosures one item available
electrified lights deal
Sounds pretty wait. What? Oh, I need more power. That's right. I do need more power. Okay
Do I need to just build another small power station?
500 days five hundo hundies. Are you kidding me and squat? Oh
Wow, okay, once that's done we should be plenty of power and a plenty of moolah but a lot less
Excitement, you know what? I mean? Because I'm really really really like I'm really pulling for some excitement here. We're not getting it because
Parkes is doing okay, but it's not doing like great
It could be better. It could always be better upgrade the first power station. Well, that sounds impossible
I only have outage protection and I don't even know what the baseline outage protection could be
What is the outage possibility for this? I don't even know but it's not expensive. So I'll get out of protection sure, whatever uh-uh
Let's do the power upgrade fossils
That's pretty good, but we already have a lot of that DNA
let's sell this one and
Extract from this one cuz higher-quality anyway, okay now that this is here. What can I do?
Oh, I can sell my dinos now, but I don't want to sell my dinos. I'm guessing I should just get more
Right just incubate more dinos these are great
Can these can Triceratops what what would happen right what would happen?
what happened if I put a
Another dude, you think they'd be okay? Cuz this one's tiny. It's a tiny little baby
It ain't gonna and I'm gonna do nothing. But if I want to start a fighting pit, he's gonna have camo
He's gonna have camo because he you don't even gonna see him tooth hardness. Oh, oh, he's gonna have some hard
Teeth Oh more attack on him. Oh, we're gonna have a fighting pit baby. Skin toughness. Oh, oh, yeah
oh wait, this one gives more defense though, but less viability I
Like intensive repair, I like that or let's see if this one's gonna work
I don't know if it's gonna work, but we're gonna try our best
I'm gonna try our best we're gonna get two of these bad boys going in here. Just in case. Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah, Jeremy Michael Sarah. You're about to meet your match
Oh, you're gonna see this strongly suggest you consider taking this contract. Okay. All right. Thank you
I don't know why but thank you
I think I'm already doing that aren't I what they already doing that so that's it's gonna be free money anyway
All right. Let me see if I can get another contract
Okay, ooh taking a picture from a feeder that might be cool so how do I do that
And why is this not pumping out more?
Failed to incubate I
Was gonna be easy
We'll try again I want two of them but this cost a lot of money
There's a lot of money that you're just pumping out on me
Didn't I see something about like a picture being taken or something like that?
Or was it the Ranger team that needed that I think it was the Ranger team?
Uh-oh, I do have enough money for that. Okay, cuz I'm making so much
Risks for now, you've done the first
That is a job. Well done. Thank you
I've got a new assignment that I think is perfect for your skill set right give it a once-over man
Let me know if you're interested million
As you can imagine the animals and the various facilities are constantly probing for weaknesses in our security systems
They're smarter and more devious than people give them credit for
But I refuse to underestimate their capabilities
That's why I'm always testing and evaluating our security protocols and barriers
This is where you come in. I'm gonna give this guy Lambert his due
He actually sees these animals as both opportunity and threat. Yeah
yeah, that seems about right considering that they uh
They're about to fight again. Need you to extract enough DNA from fossils to incubate and hatch a dinosaur. All right, you know what?
I'm not gonna waste any more money. I'm gonna send I'm gonna send this guy out there. I'm gonna shave before I do that
we're gonna do like
The that we're gonna call this one. How do I name it? Can I not insane? Okay, here we go my career
All right the calm before the wool
The calm before I have no more characters
Okay. All right. Here we go. All right. Let's do this release this Dino. All right you go
Get them you go get them you go. You show em. What for? Oh, you're big. Oh, yeah
You're big you got big head. You got big horns. You got big face. They don't know. See you there
No, see you face. You ain't know. Oh, yeah, you ain't no one to mess with. Oh, you ain't no one to mess with
Oh, you ain't no one to mess with? Oh
Fuck you Triceratops
Oh, yeah, oh you shut up fake Chris Pratt. Oh, we're gonna call you I'm gonna call you Terry Terry Terry brews
I'ma call you your name is Terry brews
Nothing how he has a fight between Michael Cera and Terry brew
Hell yeah, yeah, oh yeah, oh fight fight baby fight
Fight everyone's looking at the fight. Oh, yeah. You're gonna run away little baby. Are you good?
Are you getting your ass handed to you? Oh, you're getting your ass handed to you. Oh, you're doing your ass destroy
It's a new king of the jungle here. Oh, yeah, you might want to back down. Yeah Oh Terry bruised ain't looking for no mercy
To set them right I believe in what we're doing and I believe these dinosaurs. No. Oh no teri, Bruce
- Bruce strike a decisive blow
Take care of dinosaurs Oh the health is a vital importance. Oh
Hey, stop fighting. Hey, stop fighting
Hey, stop fighting look they can't cooperate
Look, there's peace in the jungle after all look. I think they're falling in love. Oh, I think they're about to fight again
No, no dairy bruised. Oh
Dairy bruised no, no, Terry bruised. No, no, Terry bruised Oh
Terry bruised. Oh
He fought a good fight he fought a good fight Terry
Will always remember you Terry. Well, everyone's getting a good show they did their best but
in the end
Only one can win
Okay, let's make another dinosaur. All right, let's do let's do more of these big boys
We're just gonna make it like big boy land. This is just gonna be a big boy land
Do I have enough money for that? I barely do. Let's make it big boy land
Do I have any more genomes that I can put in here? No?
No again yet. I need it if I pretend to be able to do dad
Still birdbrain still birdbrain very birdbrain. Okay incubate
And that's all we're gonna do for now. All right now
He will become Terry pues
Dyon o7, that is the funniest thing. Next you are they?
Creation laboratory before releasing and housing it in an enclosure
You'll also want to make sure we've got an AC you presence on this island. Mm-hmm
Okay, so you want me to make you want me to make one of these and then release it?
Is that what you're saying now be very careful about what you're saying because I will do that man. They're gonna eat for days
died in a fight with Mike
Look at that text died in a fight with Mike
Okay, Terry bruised. Oh, whoa. Whoa. Whoa, whoa whoa, whoa
Jeremy Jeremy gone now add tasks
What tranquilize Jeremy ooh?
Why no, I don't need that. No, we don't need that
Where's the UH where's the picture thing wasn't there like a picture thing. Wasn't that like a thing?
that's something that I needed to do photograph a
How do we how do we do that?
Ranger team add tasks. How do we how do we photograph something wasn't there a photograph? I'm gonna make a new enclosure
I will make a nude enclosure, but I want to know how to photograph cuz that was definitely a thing
Well, you know
what I'm gonna do is I'm going to incubate one of these here because that's
170 and if it works, then I'm gonna make a million. That's a pretty good return on my investment
Even if it eats it picture is Ranger team. That's what I thought. So, how did they
Get out the way get out of my way
Get one get out of the way. Oh god. Get out of the way
There's an emergency
Room I did not know this was possible Oh
Okay, we're gonna whoa back up Oh what? What's it? This is scary
What did I do? What dinosaurs your guests want to get up close and personal with?
The thing is they can't
Construct facilities to increase visibility and keep visitors the right side of the safety glass
okay, I don't know I
Don't know what help. Oh my god. Run ranger team drive go resupply good
You're gonna okay. We're gonna I'm gonna take a picture of this don't come on. Oh,
Please get this goat and not me. I love the music going on. All right goat. Oh, you're gonna you're gonna get eaten
You get to go not me not me. Not me goat. Here we go Oh
Pretty cool. All right, here we go. All right, we're gonna get that picture. Not me not me
Don't did there's a goat let's go right over there. Pretty cool, huh?
We should probably get out of here. Oh, okay our bread nope. Nope. No problem
Oh, yeah, we got I think that might be Michael Cera. Oh, yeah. Yeah and chomp. Oh
That's pretty good. I really hope that gate wasn't left open. All right
Dead, is that good? Is that good? No dice
Well, all right, I guess we should get out of here then huh Oh Rome miss me. All right, here we go
This is my new favorite thing about this is my new favorite thing
I had no idea that this was a part of the game. I had no idea. This is so fun
oh, wait, are they gonna I
Should probably wait and see if they okay. We're good. We're good. We're good. Okay
I wish it was a horn on this thing the good thing. There's a handbrake
All right, all right, here we go here we go, all right, good luck
Edmontosaurus. All right, Eddie go get him go get her buddy go get and no one can stop you all you look so stupid
You are the dumbest looking thing I've ever seen oh my god go get him you got him Herbert
All right, go get him buddy
This next bit is gonna sound a little crazy because frankly it is
But we are gonna encourage one of the dinosaurs to breach our containment grid
Will then react and see if our procedures and personnel are up to the challenge?
So at this point, I'd like to take back everything I just said about this yes. Yes. I love this man
This man is a great man. This man is great man. This man is a great great man. Smart man to a great man
Smart man smartest great man that ever smarted he is a smart man and his grave man was like a great man
He is a great man. He is a smart man and he's a great man. He's a great smart, man
I like this man. This man is real smart and great
Not that one should be your first port of call to bring down a rampaging dinosaurs not Eddie I didn't care about Eddie
Eddie Eddie, what are you doing? Are you mad because I called you stupid looking. Well. I don't take it back
I don't take it back at all. I don't take it back none. Okay, we have our runner time to tag him a bag
Understand the need to keep our security as sharp as possible. This is not the way I would go about doing it
Probably not my railings going we keep you safe doctor. I'm happy to discuss it at a later time
Right. Now we have our hands full. What are you doing? What are you doing? Eddie, Eddie? What are you doing?
What are you gonna do Eddie?
Wolf blum from blur
Morph oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh
God, alright, let's uh, let's uh, let's um pilot the helicopter. There we go. Good all the way
Alright, I'm slightly - oh my god. I'm slightly drunk
Slightly drunk. Here we go. Let's get him. Oh, yeah. Oh my god. Here we go. Alright
Deadshot Oh Gabe Oh
Headshot indeed. Oh my god. I'm so good at this. Oh
You suck ass. I am so good. There was a zoom didn't even need it
Ah, I do a 360 way out do a 360. Wait. Okay. Here we go
Here we go, I need to call in the offshore trans
Yeah, all right coming in for a landing
Coming. Oh, no Hannah comment comment comment in for
Coming in for coming in for a landing
Calling for a landing
movie to be
Coming in for a hello boy
Comment. Hey, let's see if I can dartie. Let's see if I can dart against
Coming in for a landing
And I guess we're done sure at that does yeah good enough, okay. We need to pick him up that what we need to do
Can we sell them then
Can we sell how do we sell them know? How do we sell no, come on, how do we sell? Oh
And for teddy sell him off site how do we sell him mmm so just throw him in the ocean
Sell him oh, I want to sell him so badly. Well if he goes back in here, he's it's good
All right, well we're putting it back in there and
He's going back in the back
And he's going back in the pen and he's going back in the pen. Oh, look at that. Oh, that's so nice
That's so nice. Oh
Don't sell Eddie. It's either sell Eddie or Eddie gets eaten Eddie gets ate
And I'm pretty sure Eddie would rather be sold and live in some millionaires backyard than be eaten
I'm just saying Wow. Look at that
Good thing our ratings back up. That was that was real fun. Now, it's good. That was good good stuff there
I have another this guy. Well, let's just make it interesting for him. Let's just make it interesting for Eddie
Like now there's three threats instead of just do two is bad and guaranteed death. But three that just makes it interesting brah
Alright, what are your name? What's your name, buddy? What's your name? What's what's your name, buddy?
Hon. Okay your hon, but you're you know, you're the third so your hon trio. I'm gonna call you hon, Trio
Okay, so we got hon, Trio
Good job everybody
Y'all feel good about that one
Screwin square look the thing is we're still learning where our boundaries are when it comes to keeping these animals under control
God knows they're working out ways to exploit our weaknesses. Yes. We'll find out who gets to the limits of our abilities first
Exploitation versus security, let's pretend that he's panicking violence, but he's panicking
Just poor Eddie looks like Eddie might actually be able to survive because he's running away as fast as he can
Think he's faster. So technically speaking. Maybe it'll be you know, okay
Maybe it'll not be so bad. I think Eddie's hungry. We got to get another bait feeder
But this one I think he's an herbivore. So let's build herbivore feeder over ha
Maybe I should like divide it
That might be smart. I'll build another observation. Let me build another observation thing and then I'll build a
Feeder right in front of it that
Sounds pretty good poor Eddie poor poor, Eddie
I mean, I don't think Eddie's gonna survive very long, but you know, I made probably a good idea
Oh my god, oh boy Oh, finally oh
Gosh, okay. Oh
Yeah, it's a boy Eddie. That's a boy. His health is still going down probably because he's always food is down. Okay, Eddie you are
You're a trooper. You're a trooper Eddie. How about I make another friend for you Eddie. Would you like that?
I bet you'd like that. I need to get power to this bad boy. Oh man, Eddie, you know what? I'm proud of you
I'm really proud of you. You've shown us all
That life has more meaning than Joe
This is uh, this is a bit awkward. There. He is. Okay. Eddie's doing better. Look at Eddie. Look at Eddie
Look at Eddie. Look at Eddie. Let's build another Eddie. Let's build let's build more at ease
Well, but maybe if I make it more aggressive
Maybe if I make it more aggressive and we could really get something going here. Okay?
We're gonna have three Eddie's let's actually a modify the genome because now it's not a waste of money. Let's give them more defense
Let's do the defense and let's do
Whatever. This is cardio strength
Sure. All right. Okay, you know they got no defense. This guy's gonna die
But it'll be it'll be interesting to see anyway and two of those guys good. Oh, man, we just missed out on aggressive Joe
Maybe we should cancel the no cancel. Oh good it failed, you know
Let's let's get that let's let's get
Let's get let's just remove Eddie. Thank you. Can you remove Eddie? Can you get Eddie? Uh
Can you get daddy out of there Eddie? Uh Eddie's dedi Eddie is varied, Eddie and Eddie
Eddie has seen better days is just what I'm trying to say there Eddie is
Yeah, electrified fences. That sounds pretty good. I think these guys are not only learning but they're getting more aggressive as Demi, okay?
Oh, no, it's so sad. Oh, no eyes his mouth thing, you know, but oh, it's so sad
Oh, it's so sad. Oh, that's so sad
Okay, bye, oh boy, oh, that's so sad, oh boy, I think we need more more
Live bait feeder. Let's put this bad boy, right?
Too close to dinosaur. Yeah, you know probably
Put that right there. Oh boy
It's not funny it's not funny. Well, you know, it's even more funny here comes here comes Eddie with two DS not Eddie. Here's AD
skip that because we're you are not gonna last long so
let's just uh, this is um,
Her toasted hurry up, please you you really need it skedaddle
You are you you're wasting precious moments of your life right here right now. Add double D you are. Oh here comes that
In Canada, I'll let you guess where the t-rex thinks. These are delicious
Okay, I'm sorry just caught me off guard
Every time they say something every time they say something it pertains to how I'm screwing everything up it pertains
Exactly to how I'm ruining. These are these dinosaurs lives in horrible ways. Okay storm defense
We've got that Andy e double D. Oh no. Oh
Feel bad. Okay, we're gonna get
Remove it remove double double D did not last long did not lessen
the only reason now that I'm thinking that Eddy lasted so long is because the game wanted Eddie to escape and
Yeah, that didn't go over well it let's extract and extract okay and let's build a hotel
Hell, yeah, let's do it
Alright, where can we build it? I don't know. Why is it obstructed? What's obstructing it?
Is it the water can I terraform that there was a terraform? Oh, there was a terraforming thing
Well, that's now that's in the water that did that doesn't help me. Let's little flattened. Oh
Smooth that down a bit
That's better now. It should work now. We're gonna get a hotel
People are definitely one. I'm gonna want to stay here for a long
Long time. Yeah, just a happy little accident
dinosaur escaping happy little accident
Alright. Hey, we got it. No, it's only viewable now. We need more
We need more. Alright, so we got that
Guests are gonna be happy. We're making moolah. We're making so much money go. We're making so much money. Oh look at us
Look at us all
Right. We need a picture of a dinosaur eating from a feeder. So let's get the Jeep crew out there again
Whoa, okay ramp wasn't there before. Excuse me
Excuse me. Okay. I'm pumping out goats, like it's my job
I don't know how many more goats I can get out here. Someone need a damn goat
How many goats can I get out of here how many goddamn goats do you need?
Dude, oh, yeah, he's locked on target. Yeah
No, no. No, you don't need you. Don't need me. Come on. What are you thinking you want to go?
I'm sorry. Okay, Wow. All right Wow. Rude Oh Oh get it go get it go you getting to go. You're gonna go
Hang on I need a picture of it
If I can chase down a goat, oh, I can't it won't let me run over a goat it
Keeps slowing down right in the middle of it. Uh-huh. I need a picture eat a damn goat there goes. No Oh hate it. Oh
Yes. Oh, it's going for it. He's going for it
Yes. Ah, that's good one nice
Even when that means they want to kill
Okay, all right, thank you fake Chris Pratt, thank you so much get all the way
The dinosaurs somewhere. I don't know I
Shouldn't have terraformed here. Whoa
Oh boy, excuse me. Pardon me. Pardon me. No one's diving out of the way, which they should be
Yeah, I got it. Cool. All right
We got our hotel up and run hotel - does it remember the little the loss of hotel one?
What does this mean building? Can I upgrade the knot the gate? Can I upgrade the fences upgrade mode?
Replace on can I replace?
Whoa, okay. Well, that's expensive. Oh my god, that is expensive - close - dinosaur
Oh not enough power
Anyway, well I did something so I feel good about that, but I didn't do a lot of something our view fossils
Let's extract you. Let's suck you out of there. That's what I did
How do I research the gyro platform I want to do that what do I need unlock conditions not met
Oh, I need to get the entertainment up
Well, how do I get I can't be entertainment up until I get the right things
Well, you want me to make another dinosaur pen do I really have to do that?
All right, I guess I have to do that then it's making me so how do I do that, huh?
I don't exactly have a lot of space here. Oh, I guess I got spaced out here
This job ain't easy
But then it's not supposed to be we are reshaping the world one exhibit feeding time show at a time
This genome thing was solid. Oh
Thanks, man, that makes me feel so good
Thank you. We're gonna make big changes here. We're gonna we're going to terraform this whole area
We're gonna turn it into the next area that we're gonna have let's smooth it out smooth
Nice and smooth. Okay. Let's get rid of the trees
Eco-terrorists here. They it's gonna be the this is gonna be the herbivore area. There's gonna be the the baby dinosaur land
You know how it is
okay, we're gonna once I once I define the lake the actual like fence line, then I'm gonna come in and then I'm gonna actually
Make it prettier. I'm gonna make it nicer. I am I am going to do that
I'm a nice guy who likes nice things and this nice guy is gonna make it real nice
No, we're gonna delete this
And we're gonna we're gonna take advantage of a bit more land here
We're gonna because I don't need to do all of that just yet
we can have these blood and up against each other a
Little bit which might be a bad idea considering that these dinosaurs probably don't want to do that
But you know it is what it whoa. Oh
The bird. Oh, no, the bird all the birds those poor family. No. Wish we bought a map
Yes, that's what's gonna be okay, oh
Why not? Why?
This opportunity pass you by what what what what what what kind of ominous bullshit was there
What the hell don't don't let this opportunity to pass me by why what what the hell?
That was creepy, okay. All right. Well then all right now we're gonna build a fence line and
It's going to be
Cool where where's like the UH
Was like that defining part of the fence. Where do I?
wait, should I built a fence first and then built does research center that feels like it may have been a little bit of a
Better choice, or maybe I gotta wait until it's done. Yeah, either way. I know it's gonna be
Okay, it's done now. So oh the fence there it is. Okay. This is the fence line cool. All right, so the fence
We're gonna start with like an electric food too expensive. We're gonna start with in the light steel fence. These are nice creatures there
There's nothing to worry about how do you curve something by the way?
Cuz if I want to do a nice curve like that, how do I curve it? How do I space?
Oh wait, it says it says right on the instructions, oops, I'm dumb. Okay. Alright, that's fine, though
I can't see where it is. But I'm assuming that it's all Gucci. Yeah, it's Gucci. There we go
We would want just a straight normal boring fence. I
Mean me but whatever
Oops, whew I missed my target. Okay, let's hang on get rid of that
Yeah, it's good enough that's probably that is adding is that enclosed that doesn't not that does not look enclosed
Okay, let's get rid of the trees here so I can actually see what's going on. You're gonna go there
There we go. Okay. Now we got oh, that's a nice space. That's nice space. Okay, so we're gonna have a nice little pond
At the bottom and we're gonna actually make a divot first. We're gonna lower this
It's gonna be a nice pond at the base of this hill
like if I could build a waterfall in this I would you know, I would
Okay, that's as low as it can go apparently and add water
Oh, it just split. Oh it
Well, it kind of there goes my plan, huh? Well there there there
There's my plans is kind of out the window because you were too much of an asshole that consider my feelings
Or whatever that looks good. I guess it looks good. Whatever
Okay, let's add some shrubbery along the banks there along the banks there. Oh, yeah, this is good stuff good
It's looking a little sparse up here. Let's let's uh, let's fill that in. Yeah, that looks good there
And we got a lonely tree over here
Nothing to worry about alright
Then we're gonna make two observation centers one here on the left and then one
here on the right see how I do it's
Beautiful. Oh, yeah. There we go now
We're in business. Oh
I love that curved. I love that curved. I love that curved
Okay, this is looking wonderful. Does looking wonderful. All we got to do is incubate some nice
Eddies do we actually want Eddie's doing is is any what we want is that he actually what we want
I have no idea of Eddie's actually what we want. Oh, this is not connected to that. Oh, that's why it's problem
Oh, we're right. We're out of power. Okay
Disease I just put down power, how am I disease? Oh wait. No, it's because there's no power. Oh
Wait, we're out of power. Oh, well shit God
Just let me click what I want a classic dinosaur on your hands. It's time to treat it or what comes next
That's gonna be on your hands as well
Hmm. It's going to be on my hands. You talking about the poop. Are you talking about the poop that's gonna happen
Okay, who's got a disease you you hey Jeremy. What is it from all those humans you were crunching? Listen, Jeremy
Listen you piece of shit. Listen, I've had it up to here. Well, okay. All right. Oh,
Shut up not talking to you you go away. I've gotta I don't want to talk. I've got a sick Dino
I've got millions
Opportunity for you to consider it will allow us to work together to create life
Pure life if you've been listening to dr. Malcolm, then you know how important this is to us and to me
Well, you know I was originally upset but then you waved a million dollars in front of my face and you know
You know that will get my attention
Ah, hell yeah. Yeah. All right. Anyway, how do we do this? Do we gotta go get an expedition? Do we got a tranq him?
Opportunity, let's get started. All right. Well, I'm gonna get in there. I'm gonna get in the car. I'm a good car
We gotta sit down on her end
That was the traffic was actually pretty good driving mechanics for a game. That's pretty funny. All right
All right, where is it Jeremy
Jeremy where'd you go Jeremy
Jeremy I don't know which one's Jeremy I almost put some people the know which one's cheaper. Give me say you Jeremy, okay
Oh, that's Jeremy Medicaid him. Oh
You mean you Juke me oh, here we go. All right, we're going for it
You can't run from me. You can't run Jeremy
All right, get ready Oh Oh the target
Now oh my god, okay
Whoa, whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa Wow
Oh my oh my Oh
Welp I guess we're done controlling that woman. Okay, so no power here
We need to put in the upgrade module we have that we need to put an improved outage protection
by and then output protection or in
Producing yeah, you guys understood both saying right? Yeah. I can name the hotel are on call this one. Um
Sanic Dino fucking look out
That's good, okay, so that's the seek scenic Dino fucking look out. All right, so we need I think they said
Triceratops, right. That's what we need cuz I can get Triceratops. Yeah looks pretty good. I'm pretty sure that's that's gonna be fine
Have I gave this guy modified genome, right? Yayi? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I did. Okay
Let's get two of those bad boys going one of them probably gonna fail
Come up, that could be interesting
One thing we like here it's money I always like to money
I want to get another expedition Center or I want to figure out a way to upgrade this so that I can have more expeditions
Maybe I'll research something along those lines
Hey get the smart people all in a room and let's actually try to do something with our lives
Okay, so we need to get more
We need to get more bullshit going before we're actually able to do anything
Well success rate. Oh that did that's really good. Yeah, I've been having some bad successes lately
So if I can get more, that'd be I'll be really worth it. All these dinos keep dying on me
Alright, where's the Triceratops? There he is
Let's go to hell Creek. I like the sound of help Creek really matches up with the kind of hell that we're in right now
Terry bruises back baby. Terry bruised died a horrible death chicken. Did you hear that? Terry bruised jerrybreeze?
Chica, what do you think? Wait? Chica come up. What do you think? Wow?
Wow, it's a Dido. Whoa
Terry bruise is back with a vengeance baby. Oh, yeah, Terry bloom
Honestly what you've been up to with great interest and I'm a little disappointed
That doctor do what came to you for this assignment instead of bringing me into the loop that she should have done who the hell
Are you discuss this with her later? Whoo-hoo the hacking hell. Are you who are you?
He's gonna eat Terry bruised is gonna get his oh, he's gonna get his munch on. Oh hell. Yeah Oh Terry bruised
Oh, fuck. Yeah Oh, who are you named? Who you gonna be? I'm gonna call u s-- Pingleton
Yeah, you look like ass Pingleton. Alright, alright, so this is uh, this is
Shingleton move move. I didn't put a gate in um, whoops. Let me put a gate
Yep, okay. All right. That's good. All right, let's go
Mom well, you want to eat you want a mount?
You want to go crouch?
You are don't crouch the plants. Hey, buddy
Well, what was a zoom in rather? Give me a look. Give me a look go. Yeah, that's a good look
Oh, yeah, that's good. Oh, yeah, that's good. All right fine
I'll have them waiting in there for my opportunity to strike whenever they get hung go. They're gonna have to go over there
They're gonna have to do that because if they ain't hung go
Kill him I can get more dinos in here. Let's get the little guys cuz I wait no, we got more fossils
Let's make sure that we get the fossils first
Oh hell yeah, look at this very high-quality bullshit going on here. Oh
Well, yeah, okay, that's cool that was a good expedition we're gonna build one of you
You're going in there. I'm gonna build one of you
You the dumb doofy looking one you go in there. Alright, so we got those guys
And are you Oh weird like, oh the car already go back
Mmm, all right, the car already went back
But I'm not gonna drive it over again until I get more in there and then I know that I'm gonna need them
Okay, maybe I should get more of those things
maybe I should get more of those
I mean more is good. Right? More is definitely gonna be good. There's no way that having more of these things is in any way bad
Right. Hey Oh, go go go Oh
Little guy *chuckles* Oh
There's Meemoo. All right, cool
Oh, it's eating. Oh, no, go go go go go go. We got to go take it take it take it take it. Boom
Oh man, I always make myself look good if there's one thing that I do it's look good at literally all times. All right. Ah
Dad, okay. Let's make another one of these things. Let's make another big goofy, dude. All right, that one's gonna be ad with 1d
Whoa, that is gross
Whoo, we can make a hang. Yeah. Oh go go me move go mo mo
This one will be mom Oh, that was me move. This one's mo mo. This is mo mo everybody
Say hi to mo. Mo. Mo moment was a real charmer. Okay, that's mama. That's me, Moo. No, that's that's teri bruise
That's me move. That's mo. Mo one will be mu
One only Mamu mo. Mo me me my mo
Mumbly and then me incubate we're almost to the Triceratops DNA. We just need one last expedition with it to be able to go
Oh, yeah, release it. Oh, this one's Ed! Edie the loner always by yourself no friends anywhere
Oh you big dumb doofy. Looking Dino. Oh, look at this stupid ass face, huh? It's dumbass Dino the survived herd. Oh
I've heard that there's horrible monsters here
Oh, I hope I hope not Oh God, where are my friends? Where's double D. And this one's just had
Its add. Oh boy
Yes sightsee more commonly known as Aslam Huerta a
Newly developed island the name roughly translated that I do mean roughly the island
of the Dead mmm fitting
humorous even humorous even humorous Oh
Humorous. All right. Should we go should we go to the new island?
You guys think we should go to the new island? Yeah, you guys think we should go to death Island. Oh
Yeah, no preach for mark because I'm a big bully
I feel unprepared
And restores as they can cause terrible devastation to your island operations
Any damage this storm is caused you should use a ranger team to get the park operational again
Oh and don't forget to close any emergency shelters when it's safe to do so
There's been quite the storm and it seems that bad weather is often a precursor to bad behavior
From the dinosaurs if you believe that everything is connected the so called butterfly effect
And I do believe it. By the way, then one small change is all it takes to create a series of toppling dominoes
Leading to rampaging dinosaurs
Don't make a butterfly net big enough to stop him, okay?
Thank you. Jeff goldblum. Thank you for that. All right, we're gonna get a ranger team. I guess looks expensive
You should get that fixed
Soon. All right, okay
Do I shoot darts at the building? All right, you bugged it fixed here weak. All right that ought to do it
Okay, let me fix that AC unit. All right got that one. This tower looks in need of repair boink. Oh, it's unpowered
Oh, that's the only problem with it. Okay, well
Let's technically got a substation. We just need to repair the substation
Okay, I did I miss something because I have no idea how to repair a substation. Hmm
Maybe I got a Oh, maybe I got drive this too because this wasn't dis repaired. It was whose is not powered
So maybe I go to the Oh
Why couldn't I go forward there well that made no sense, okay, whatever repair that repair in progress
Okay, we got that. All right, I still think my old dart method should have been the one that was actually gonna get it. Oh
That ain't good
Okay, that's good
Okay all done oh
Good job. Well done. I'll leave them there. They can make their way back home
So we got all that repair and then we need to close shelter clothes all shelter
Recent handling of anomalous events as if like it wasn't what was it? Not good
Did we not do good did would did we do it badly? So what we're gonna do is
We need to get some dinos going. Do I still have all of my do I still have all my yeah, I do
All right, we're gonna make one and just truth the Moto X truth II me omus
Only we're gonna just have like out the wazoo of how many screw me. Oh those those we have we're gonna have so
Stream you memos. Okay. We also need to get the actual
expedition Center going we need an expedition soon to
Have all this wait, where's the edge of our okay, we don't want to build too far over there. Let's make let's
intelligently think about where we want all of our stuff and I am intelligently thinking that wow this Islands
Whoa, this Islands bit. Oh my god. This is oh my god. Oh my god
okay, this Islands huge so I don't want to build over there because I'm obviously gonna expand over there I think here is
Probably my best bet for keeping things relatively in line with one another
Okay, and but do ski the fossil centre to be able to produce those. We need to build a road to get over there
Probably let's build a nice
Yeah. Oh that looks nice. Oh, no one can tell me that don't look nice because that looks nice
Other nice. Okay. We've got a fossil centre curvy boy
Okay, good. We got that fossil centers going up. Let's go ahead and extend out those boodoo shion's
Nice new fossils discovered Helen. Yeah, go for that. Alright, go get get out of here. Just get out here
Just get out of here release the Dinos. Yes me Moo and Mama are back back in business. Shut up
All right release the other one and skip it as well because I just I can't be bothered. You're me Moo. Okay, that's me, Moo
Yeah, the ones mom Oh, are we releasing the other one is is happening. Oh, oh
Hey Momo, I'm stuck on you. I guess we literally can't do anything until you're done doing your freakin stupid bullshit
All right, Momo. You freaking drama queen. All right. There's Momo. Let's get two more going and
Flump. Oh here
All right, that's gonna be mu MO and mumbly what we need. What we need is a burger stall and that's what we need
That seems like ideal priority. It's my minor curvy boy. Oh release the Dyna. I just don't care
Okay, release the Dinos. Okay, those are getting released. I'll name them when they're done
We're running low on money but not that low
Research center okay there
And then a road and then we are good on the operations bullshit
The stuff that nobody cares about we are good to go on that one. All right, cool. Look at him run
We need to get them food
Ground herbivore. That sounds pretty good. All right
Oh those were expensive why so expensive?
Maybe because you're supposed to only need one and I accidentally bought like ten billion of them under construction power consumption
We need more power. Okay, so we're gonna need to get a more powerful power. I have no money. I have no money
I don't have more money. Hello
Okay, cool, thank you. Oh
Man, it's not even 2:00 yet. I'm not broke
Look at revenue is a little downed admittedly, but you know, it's it's fine
I'm gonna drive this Ranger team into the enclosure and you're gonna see I'm gonna get money by the way
Babe, babe, babe
No, it's not an emergency. But I feel like rushing. Anyway, we're oh he was on the other side
All right, get ready to get your picture to can here we go
Picture taken BAM. Gotcha
You guys gonna eat can I get one of you eating that'd be cool that'd be profitable. All right fine. What are you losers?
Whatever get out of here. Okay, that was a little bit of money, but not even remotely worth it
Let's make two more of these bad boys spend our money
Don none of these should fail they better not fail if they fail to be real pissed
You got to shut up I already know what I'm doing damn baby, okay easy peasy easy money
Thank you, alright shut up, okay. Wait, oh wait I got I got a name these guys. Okay your your amumu
This one's moo moo. We got me moo moo moo moo
Where's the other one there? You're okay. You're gonna be
Moo me you're gonna be Moo me your moo me your mo moo. This is mo moo everybody
Say Adam Oh, Moo, and this you are
Your army me. Okay, so we got moo moo mo. Mo. Mo moo moo me me me and me, Moo
There's gonna be a quiz on this you bet you got this better get this, right?
You got to memorize this me Moo mee mee, mo moo moo moo moo moo and mo mo
I don't like how they're all targeter each other. That's a
But alas, oh wait this requires. This hasn't been powered this whole time. Well, that's why people couldn't even see that
We need power. Anyway, maybe that wasn't the power area, but it just didn't have enough power for it because I have no money
That's right. I was trying to get money for them. Then I was going on building other stuff. Why was I doing that?
Oh and there's no power. There you whelp. I
Seemed to be in a bit of a conundrum here. I can't get power shut
the fast food down
I'm sorry. We got it. We got to turn it off to --safe there enough power so we can get nope
We can't get an expedition which is the only thing that needs mother that we need for money. So let's turn off the writ
Let's get the fast food God people are gonna be real pissed if they were doing that food here. Alright, so we got that
Give me power. Why do I not have power? Okay, this doesn't need to be powered right now. There's nothing to see over there
So we're gonna deactivate that everybody. Hold on. This is all worth it
We definitely don't need to power this thing get that get that shit gone. Alright now we can cook it
Now we can go
Put Veloso Roop ders on the opposite side of the
Me mu and Momo's and Momo's and mee mo mo Mo's
That we need so that they can just see him for across this fence and just be like, oh my god
There's food over there. There's so much food. It's just this endless endless food. So we're gonna get a new contract we need
Me is it me are you going to give me money? Cuz that's all I really care about money
We're just kind of stuck for a bit because I just kept it kept spending too much money. I just need more power
That's all I need. I just need wait. It says unused power 11 Oh probably cuz I shut those down wait
Why did I need power in the first place?
We wouldn't I need power for again. I don't need power. I've got power I
Think what about my other Island? Can I just go to the other Island? Is that something I can do?
No, I don't think that I don't think you can do that. It's like playing a theme-park game
You got only one Park at a time, right?
Blue blue. Oh well, hello. Are you all right there?
Hello, how are you?
No dice. Oh
No matter what. I think I just I can't figure it out. There's no dinos in this picture. Well, that's a good pick
Oh, that's a good pick. Give me my money. Give me money
$24 perfect. I'm gonna get there eventually Oh lunch, please munch munch. I need the munch
Yes, lunch munch crunch and munch crunch it
This is bullshit, I deserve more money than this all my expeditions back
Okay, good. Alright, we need to send people off to
More velociraptor and then we need to research the velociraptor. Well, yeah this no
No, oh we got some amber. Oh, yeah a gift shop
You know, that's what people want. They're right by the emergency shelters. So no one needs to be worried when they're in the shelter
They can still get their shop on I kind of spent too much money on the operation
So I'm gonna go and I'm gonna demolish this guy get the money back. We don't need that let the mother humper burn
What we do need is more dinos
That's what I know for a fact. So let's incubate some more of these guys and
We'll be real good cuz I don't think those guys are gonna be like any sort of a threat to me, right? Okay
alright, I'm gonna
Release those and we're gonna name them if I can get to him
Okay, alright sure whatever you say man we need mommy mommy, okay, mommy. Okay you
This is Steve. Okay, so we got moo moo. Mommy me Moo me me mow
Mow Moo me and Steve. Okay, everybody got those remember there's gonna be a test
You better be brushed up on what you got going on here. So we need
To research these. Oh, yes, so
Oh hell yeah my guys
I'm so proud of you
Okay, but what we need to do is we need to eventually I don't know how much we're gonna get out of this one
We may be able to try to make a velociraptor, but it's probably gonna end up in failure if we don't get it, right?
Wanna risk it if we're not gonna get it up to the air, but you never know with anything that we got going on
So that's not actually the t-rex, by the way, for those of you who are thinking those deer eggs less time
Stupid wrong. I think this is the t-rex. It's a doll
Don't know. That's the t-rex
Look there we don't want a picture of that. I want a picture of that. Hang on everybody all the way
Here we go. Here we go. All right zoom and uh,
Yes, No, are you are you fucking kidding me okay, here we go
Look at the money
That's some good money. Oh, yeah
Give me that money. It's the same picture over and over again. Okay, cool
All right. That's all I needed now, they're back and that's good. We need more of a Lucy roopd and
Let's fossil them up
Okay, extract and it's shitty quality. Let's just sell that one and soon as we get those done
We should be able to do that. We can build another power station now, which is good. I'm gonna do that
We got that we got good power over there. We got good power over here
We can start unlocking this stuff or you can activate that as soon as well
We're not gonna have power for it, but we can activate it so that we will have power eventually
We have those dinos over there the ratings not the best in the world one else. Could we make we need clothes?
Okay. All right. Got it. Okay, as soon as you're done and more velociraptor
Go go. There we go. Okay
Well, we didn't even get to go to the bathroom. So how much does it cost to make a Veloso room?
Are you dicking me? That's more than a sirota tops
In what world and what in what cocks smacking world and
What in what world is that right in? What are you?
Who even are you who do you think you are?
600,000 good god Oh
Lou alright, whatever I'm gonna make this guy I'm gonna make this guy we're gonna make two of these guys
I don't have enough money for it. I don't have the money how the hell am I gonna get more money?
More money, I've got money guys. I've got no money. I've got no money
I'm so poor if this egg fails to incubate, I'm
Just sunk. I'm sunk. I can't there's no way just I won't be able to do nothing
I'll be I'll be washed up. I guess I could make a you an
Or I could look up the ankles
I should've but I guess I should have been doing I should have been doing my
Contracts that would that would have been a smart thing to do Wow. Why haven't I been doing that? What about my missions?
Where are my missions? Whoa, all right. I don't know, you know, this is a bunch of baloney
Can I I can't even get another contract cuz I haven't been doing what I was supposed to be doing. I'm so stupid
I'm just some dumb. Why am I making one of these when I should have been making a one of the whole Wang's and
I could have gotten I could have gotten the money
But I didn't I've got Draco Rex here
You are gonna be much smaller than I thought you'd be you are fucking tiny
You're smaller than the me mousse in what
what why were you so expensive you're