Today I am talking about intimacy in relationship, intimacy in marriage and how to deepen connection
and intimacy in your relationship. Welcome back to True Potential TV, I'm Andrea
Cairella your Relationship Consultant and Licensed Professional Counselor. Today we
will be covering relationship and intimacy- how to deepen the quality of connection and
intimacy in relationship and intimacy in marriage. When we are seeking connection and intimacy
in relationship, I suggest asking yourself two key questions. How emotionally open am
I with my partner about my own vulnerabilities, softer feelings, and deeper needs? How receptive
am I to my partners sensitivities, requests and emotions when he/she does put himself/herself
out there? Being emotionally expressive about your feelings
and needs may come more naturally to you than to your partner. Likewise being more receptive
may come more naturally to your partner than to you. Or vice versa. In either case relationship
and intimacy is a practice that you can develop over time.
For those of you who have difficulty expressing your emotions naturally, there may be any
number of things that compound the problem. Some may include:
• negative beliefs or judgments about showing your emotions,
• childhood experiences where your needs and feelings were dismissed or went unnoticed
so you learned to adapt to it. • Or witnessing family members expressing
emotional intensity and wanting to avoid feelings at all costs
For those of you who have difficulty being receptive to your partners feelings, needs
and perspective perhaps these barriers stand in your way:
• Seeing your parents engaging in a power struggle or holding onto resentments instead
of witnessing conflict resolution or compromise firsthand.
• Being sensitive to criticism or caught up in your own shame and insecurities that
it is difficult for you to really listen and understand where your partner is coming from.
By doing the following you can begin to overcome these barriers and create a bridge of intimacy
in relationship and intimacy with your partner instead.
Challenge Negative Beliefs: Sometimes I hear people say that vulnerability is a weakness;
however, on the contrary. When people take emotional risks, expose themselves openly
and face uncertainty with honesty and valor, it is the most accurate measure of courage
and strength that I have ever witnessed. Your Feelings Matter Too: It is an innate
human need to be close and connected to others, but it can't authentically occur or truly
be felt if you retreat into your shells like a turtle or shoot bullets at your partner
when you feel vulnerable or exposed. By expressing your vulnerable feelings and needs you can
get the understanding empathy and comfort you are seeking.
Becoming Skillful: Although your parents may not have possessed the skills to deal with
conflict or the ability to manage their emotions effectively, you can break the pattern by
learning how to express your feelings from the heart and being skillful in your delivery.
Be present and non-judgmental- Moving through your own shame or putting your sensitivities
on hold for a moment will allow you to be present to your own partner's experience.
A helpful tip is to shift focus and put yourself in your partner's shoes. By seeing the situation
from his/her eyes or even a neutral parties perspective will allow you to get some perspective
and begin to see the big picture more clearly. Now I'd love to hear from you. How have you
tried to deepen the intimacy in relationship? Intimacy in marriage? Leave a comment below,
because I want to know what you are thinking. And if you liked this video, give it a thumbs
up and share it with your friends. And also make sure you are subscribed to my channel,
so you don't miss any upcoming True Potential episodes.
You'll also want to head over to TruePotentialCounseling.com to get additional resources and relationship
tips to help you experience more harmony, connection and love in your relationship.
