All right put you around put your name in there. What are we doing?
So we're doing dating simulators, but hold on oh, but what are we playing?
It's a it's a this is a dating simulator in Viking time. Oh
Vikings they had a date, too, I guess it seemed like there was a lot of rape
Is that thorny or tea horny like Todd horny?
Like Thor, but horny. He's thorny, thorny. Yeah, I like Todd horny
You know what women love more than anything else. Swords. No not swords and not penis either. A sense of humor
Oh, they do right yeah, and Vikings are known for their great sense of humor and the rape
Look, see look
Hold on a minute
So hold on she said move and lose your head moving you lose your head, so she's upset all right. Yeah, yeah
Hit her across the face you just called her a bitch. You don't like this sort of man. Wait hold on a second
Well I had one choice, all right. She's questioning your ability to pleasure a Viking woman, Adam
What are you just clicking. If you have one choice, I'm gonna click the one choice
I know, but we gotta read the dialogue to find out you're doing it right. It doesn't matter
It does matter. There are two choices
It doesn't matter. Okay, which choice you want me to pick. Well you can't stop on the one that's one choice and say that
Do choice option right before it? Okay? I think father knocked me out last thing. I remember is talking about okay good
Something hit me in the back of the head when I came to again
It's hidden the stables underneath piles of hay it was already over when I woke up
I've been burying the dead. Her pussy gonna smell like a corpse that it already does. It already does.
You're not doing the one thing you should be doing which is trying to get laid in the Viking
She said walk around
While you're doing that. Yeah, she said walking around turns her on. Now you're out in the wilderness. Oh, Oh
It's a steer
What? A steer
What? A steer
He's smiling isn't it
No you can not. Can I date this thing?
I know you're trying. The answer is no
You single have I told you about my father
Yeah, why would you want to date that Vikings daughter if you could just fuck this elk?
Exactly. I don't know I didn't pay the extra five dollars for the sexy patreon version for you to be looking at elk.
That's right. Elyse spent money on this
Save that receipt. Okay, I did help. There we go
What she spent linen wrong
That's how it's spelled back then oh you're right. That's the old English spelling
Father got chests in the forest maybe you get those chests in the forest you'll get some chest in the forest
Like pube? I like how she keeps calling me big guy. Yeah. Do you think you could call me big guy from now on? No
Oh look at this. That's extending the map when I do that oh, yeah. It's either small or big small. Yes, so walk around like this
Check her out as she walks away
Hell yeah, we don't really I need to have sex with her. What why not you are too far away
Ah, there's a chest. We got one
To your left. There's one to your left, ah that's a rock.
You can see it on the map. You look for a blue circle. Extend map. I mean why are you looking at the map so small there?
Just play the game like this
The way the game was meant to be played
To your right there's a blue circle. Did you okay. Good call Bruce?
We don't even watch the animation. The sex animation. No-no you just see the triangle Doing this the whole time
Look at him climb this money. She is going to be really impressed with you
Look at this virgin, climbing his mountain
Can't even find the fuck chests
Don't jump, you'll kill yourself. There can't be fall damage
There's no way there's fall damage in this game. No damage only pleasure. Found it yes
All right, let's get back to her this one's pretty heavy
They've hurting my back. And we're gonna get a way heavier chest in just a second you know
What I'm saying is this How to Train Your Dragon in 3d. No, it's a Viking dating sim. That's what that was
Do you think there is a How to Train your Dragon porno, How to Train Your Dragon in Double D?
I'm sure there is. Well the good thing about that is they didn't need to have to change the Dragons name from toothless
Not so reserved another man. Oh, she promised a reward here we go
That's all you do yeah, it's dating in Viking times
wow, that's a nice mattress. Is that memory foam?
We're gonna fuck, I take it?
Good boy. None of that weak shit. Do not compromise her integrity. Okay. Don't fuck me like a blacksmith career. I never would
Boom. She slammed us.
Oh, woh. I did not expect this
What is she doing, holding her butthole open?
This isn't a dating sim. Yeah, you guys haven't even been on a date yet
He just went out and found three boxes that he came back you see he just he said you're so wet slut is there no audio for this
It's all the way up
I mean, that's about right
Her saying nothing I mean she daughters
Worried she's gonna set her hair on fire
She's a rapper it comes inside of my womb. I like haha literal she is. Oh we're done
I can find more chest or whatever I still expect you to be useful. What the fuck bitch. I you shut up
That's beside the point. I, just go asleep
What she said can I go to sleep without you groping me? I said on my honor
So somebody came and stole the stuff you delivered
Oh no, Ah fuck
Shit, so all of our stuff is gone?
That doesn't sound like a Viking at all. He dropped a few things, and by we you mean me right.
Before you were like, I shall find the chests m'lady
And I shall bring them back to you henceforth and she's like we've been robbed
And he is like, ug
There it is I found it the thief came stole all their stuff and dropped his sword right outside the house. Come on
How hard is this?
It's not hard. It's just stupid oh
There obviously it's behind the rock that one is probably by the docks. Oh there it is, right there on the beach
Yeah, what a shitty thief seriously. So he dropped two shields and a sword
And he took three empty boxes. It's just running circles. Alright Alvilda I got all your shit again alright cold
Let's go to bed, so just to be clear. They were robbed mm
Huh and then so then but the thief like some sort of cartoon character dropped a bunch of things as he ran away
Look at romantic it is. His body is not that great his dick always points north. Whoa you switch. I'm ready for my blow job
Should I give it a kiss? What a stupid question
That's not a kiss!
She dislocated her jaw like an alien
We can't show any of this. This is how the Vikings were invaded, busy getting BJs
Aren't you the Chief's daughters, is that all you can do shouldn't the chief have taught you anything?
Your father gives better blow jobs than this
Grab her head. No let her do it
Ah no. There we go
You've got to respect her, this is the Chief's daughter
Does she have, dandruff? l if I was just gonna say you pull your hand out
it's covered in lice that doesn't matter because if your crabs hopped off of you
Yeah, she's got crabs in her eyebrows now
This is a good date. We are in love. We are in love
Look at her face. Alvida said everything was fine. It was not fine. Oh select animation
What does that mean?
Oh you oh, you get to move on to bigger and better things now there you go
No, I don't want to outside. Thank you. Let's just keep it this view just keep it there. Yeah, it's like
He's like. I wonder what Alvidas up to. Oh, hello
She's staring. Oh fuuuuck
F-F-F-Father says don't fuck me because of my impediment
*SLAP* shut up
Alright she's gonna wring it all
Cumming cumming cumming cumming cumming
And we're back. What else did you lose?
Alright, looks like you enjoyed that one. Yeah
Meh, i've had better. Oh hell yes
OH Hell Yeah
That was very nice of you. I have to search seven bushes for berries or mushrooms all right well get your hand in her.
Pretty soon we're gonna get a bush of our own. You know what I'm saying. You already did
Was Geena Davis in that?
Right there, a berry bush. You walked right over it
Chill out. Jesus
Look Adam, Bruce has a lot riding on riding her
We gotta find out what the next position is
There's mushrooms everywhere, but no berry bushes ain't it always the way
#Vikinglife. Oh yeah I was gonna say, I hate Viking time
You're looking for tip and bush
Like this chicken got sex on the brain. She was doing sexual innuendo, and I'm just too dumb to figure it out
She's like look for the mushroom tip and the bush
And you're like, alright I'm gonna go out into the forest
She's unbuttoning her top. What where's he going?
Oh, no, I lost my sword and shield. I'll find it for you. I'll get them what you to fill me with cum, okay?
I'll leave Oh
Hands! Why do you have pirate sleeves? We have a riff shirt on?
Why do you even have a shirt on?
So this is this is a dating simulator, huh?
This is something John found. Yeah this isn't mine
This is this is John Smith's. We gonna blame John for this one. I just paid the extra five bucks so you could fucker with the mouse
Is that an option? Yeah, I wasn't doing that. Before it was like so there the space model is that you just watch the animation
But you're living it buddy. Ow
Go back to her see if you see if you made good on those berries. I think you may of
I think you did I think you got seven out of seven. Let me ask my new elk friend? Oh there elk. You come in her?
We got them I got all seven berry bushes here you go, all right, hey shall we eat all right
Reward first maybe you can maybe you can eat her. Oh wow that'd be cool. What a great reward just rubbing my slit
Oh, did you play with your ass?
My slit. Did you play with your ass?
No, oh here, we go. Better start practicing slut
Do you want to? Be a gentlemen
Oh, yeah, you got reverse valkyrie
First person to come loses. She's turning it into a game. Shut up you bitch. Tracy, I wanna just fuck me. That's it. We're making love
Ah man. Mommy. Daddy
When two people love each other what happens
Hold on, I have a game actually, that spells it out pretty well
There's a third person
Look at your eyes. Help me. Help me
That's a good view
Alright. Nice work
I found a reddit post for this yeah with suggestions for one-handed play
This is important as erotic games are for jacking it primarily
And that's hard to do with both hands were tied up in control
And you really shouldn't go from digs back to mouse or keyboard is. That's just unsanitary
I was worried that he was a savage. She spelled God's wrong. Yeah. Oh good
Can you click or no all right? That's it? He's making love to her what else do you want? I guess I could do that oh?
Woh. There we go
Come on Adam look at him. I like that he shaved his head too
Back to dancing all right time to sleep now good night. What a life they lead
This is what you would do in Viking times. You just fuck and eat and sleep, and then fuck and eat and sleep. Elina and I mmm woh
The plot thickens just like my semen come see this uh-oh something's happening is it a dragon Oh?
Who's the beauty over there?
All right, this is the endgame content we paid for she's gonna have the exact same model
As this girl just with different hair no she's got a different face.
Oh hey, see a different face. Wow she's beautiful
And she's stammering too - oh yes. I am thorny. How many boxes do I need to bang you?
You're cute when you're wound up
That's not condescending
Ah she loves it. She's into that. Of course she is. She loves it
Oh, play it cool
We're just friends
Come on Avilda. You know you're my first love
What do we need to grab to bang her? Hey? What do I need to grab to bang her? Huh?
Did you get a mission or no. No just keep clicking?
Yeah, Yeah. got it
Hot springs all right see you there. I should go talk to Hilde. Where'd she go?
We got to catch her. I got like this narrative
There she goes. Do I have to beat her there?
I love the hot springs and the mechanical bull
I caught her. That was not fucking hard. How did she think that was gonna play out. She think she fucking Usain Bolt?
She's pulling her panties off while she's running
I'm sorry. You won't believe this. I found and island full of women that can't talk all they wanna
Do is fuck and stammer they get fucked so hard it broke their speech?
You stinking the hot spring
Man, you need a fucking bath. Stinky pussy. Yeah, you're dick is out
She doesn't realize I think I may get hot dogs for lunch oh
My gosh shut up. Do you want to have sex or not?
I gotta be honest Elide, I'm not used to this much talking
Takes your sister a long time to talk this good takes her a minute to get one word out
Yeah, Avilda already gave me. They're leaving Wow well
I guess that's kind of like sex the water touched her vagina and touched your penis
That's like getting laid. all right, look hold on you got to get this
This we got to knock this out before we end this gameplay. Your sister's a real prude
Yeah, I took my dick out got hardened everything oh
Yeah, only if we have more fun. Only if we have more fun!
Yeah, you keep at it keep it away in
That's not what I. Adam blew it
In the hot tub yeah, no he didn't blow it that's the problem. We did support your patreon. Yeah, we already paired you money
Damn it. For your smut. cancel. I can't jerk off to the text your hands are so gross
That's cause he's been fucking. You talking to Adam?
Hilde, she won't bang me bang me, your sister is kind of a dumb bitch. Any rewards
Like, get any rewards. I'm ready for rewards. Damn it
We're getting cock blocked by patreon curse you Odin. Oh he's calling you. He's calling right now. Hey Chris
He just hung up on me
Okay, so Chris we need to know the work
How do you get that secret blackjack guide that that like gets you get you wins every time?