Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Breath of the Wild: Some Fitness Talk - PART 78 - Game Grumps

Arin: Hey I'm Grump!

Dan: I'm Not So Grump!

Both: And we're the Game Grumps!

Arin: Hi, welcome to Game Grumps.

Dan: Arin just started this session by saying "I have swollen lymph nodes" and then just started Game Grumps

And I'm like "I have so many questions!"

Arin: I don't know what lymph nodes are, first of all.

Dan: They're the nodes that hide under your lymphs.

Arin: What are lymphs?

Dan: They're the place where your nodes are!

Arin: This really cleared up a lot for me!

Both: *laughing*

Arin: How does he not see me?

Dan: I don't know.

Arin: These guys are dumbasses.

Dan: Yeah.

Arin: So I'm here storming Hyrule Castle

Arin: Hoping for a delicious meal - Wow, okay!

Dan: You just got a delicious meal of fucking, flaming torch sword to the face.

Arin: Ha ha!

Dan: Damn!

Arin: You motherfucka! I got a steared- seared prime steak because I lit that bitch on fire!

Dan: Ew, you'd eat fucking moblin meat?

Arin: Yeah, why not?

Arin: What's wrong with moblin meat?

Arin: I think it was just sittin' around.

Dan: Like if it was -

Dan: You just had it on his person.

Arin: Well I think this was... because this is like the dinning room.

Dan: Right

Arin: So I think it was just sittin' around some king,

Probably just left it out in the open.

Dan: I'm sure that turkey's still good.

Arin: Yeah.

Dan: Being there since the castle fell.

Arin: The "Question Mark Turkey".

Dan: Yeah.

The "Raw Turkey".

*Arin laughing*

Dan: Mhmm!

Arin: Yum yum! Dan: What is this,

Dan: A hundred years old? Excellent!

Arin: I've never gotten a Razor Shroom in this playthrough, are you kidding me?

Arin: Woah dude, watch out, he's gonna get me! (Sarcastically)

Arin: Ohhhhh!

Arin: Watch out dude, he's really gonna get me! (Sarcastically)

Dan: Actually they do have a uh.. Arin: Ohhh!

*Dan laughing*

Dan: You had to talk shit. Arin: He got me.

Dan: You had to talk shit, didn't you?

Arin: Well, it saved right before I went in there, probably.

Dan: *sighing* Oh boy.

Arin: Uhhh.

Arin: I just wanted a - I just wanted a delicious snack from the room, but -

Dan: Yeah.

Arin: - these guys.

Dan: You did it.

Arin: I didn't know I had to pay a fucking toll.

Dan: Unless your plan was to get a fucking raw, hundred year old turkey and then be murdered,

Dan: I wouldn't say things went according to it.

Arin: What if that was my plan?

Dan: Well then, you nailed it.

Arin: Everything was great! Dan: You crushed it.

Arin: I got a big smile on my face because everything went exactly how I wanted it to go.

Dan: *makes a weird sound* Arin: Look, it even saved my progress from killing that guy.

Arin: And I got a Big Hearty Truffle out of it.

Soooo. Dan: It's the same Big Hearty Truffle you got before.

Arin: I don't think that's accurate. Dan: *laughs*

Arin: Ah!

Arin: Aww, did he fall over?

Dan: Mmmm. Your Steel Lizal Bow is damaged.

Arin: Yeah, well, that's his problem.

Dan: I used to have two little anole lizards when I was a kid

And they were named Lizzy and Lizel.

And they fucked, once. Arin: As pets?!

Dan: Yeah, they were awesome.

Dan: I - not all of us grew up in Florida where those things just stick on your door. *laughs*

Arin: They sure do.

Dan: Aw, man, I had never seen one - um - before, until I saw one like at a pet store in the mall

and I was like *whispers* "Oh my God, I love them.

They're like little mini Godzillas."

Arin: Yeah.

They are. And they do the little *wohm* with their throat.

Dan: Yes! And it gets all red and puffy. Arin: Yeah.

Dan: To attract a mate.

That's what Lizel used to do. He'd be like *makes throaty noises*

Arin: *laughs* And Lizzy would be like "Oh, fuck yeah." *laughs*

Arin: God, look at that fucking plumage.

Dan: And I'm like, you guys -

You're both in a fu- you're the only living things in a little plastic cage that's the size of my foot.

Arin: Yeah, but you know what -

Dan: You don't need the courtship.

Arin: No, but, you know, it's like - if you're like, married and you're just sittin' around - Dan: *laughs*

Arin: Sometimes it's like: "Hey, you wanna..." and it's like "Hehe, yeah, I'mma do a little dance for ya."

Dan: Yeah, mix a little romance in there.

Arin: *makes trumpet noises*

And then you're like - Dan: Nothing wrong with that.

Arin: shit, baby. Like, you gotta get the gears turnin'.

You gotta get the pumps cleaned. Dan: Primed.

Yeah. Arin: You gotta get the gears turnin'.

Dan: Yeah, that's exactly right.

I was watching an interview with Geddy Lee, lead singer of Rush,

and he was saying - he's been married to his wife for, I think, fourty years now.

Arin: And did he?

Dan: What?

Arin: Did he Geddy Lee?

Dan: I don't even know what that means.

But fine, we'll move on. Arin: *laughs*

And they asked him like, how are you, like, what's it like to be in a relationship that long?

And he was like

"My wife and I - I'm always very careful, even after all this time to treat and think of my wife as a girlfriend.

Instead of as a wife."

Um, and he was like, that's very important so you don't take them for granted, you know?

Wow.

Damn.

Arin: I mean, I just - I just treat my wife like a person.

Dan: Also that.

Arin: Cause I respect people.

Dan: Yeah, alright, don't - don't take the high road where the road was already high.

Both: *laugh*

Arin: Well, I'm just sayin', I don't have to, like, well, you know, it's like fuckin' -

Dan: No, that wasn't directed at you, I was just like, thinking like it's kinda -

It was a cool way to look at it.

Speaking as someone who's never been in a relationship that's been longer than like, three years?

Like, the idea that um - someone would, uh, be in one for fourty - Arin: Wanna hang out with you?

Dan: Ouch!

Arin: No! I'm not -

Dan: Oh, God, Arin. Arin: No, I didn't mean it -

Dan: Oh! The -

Arin: That wasn't a slight, that was a - Dan: The straighted

edge of your truth sword Arin: *laughs*

Dan: is hurting my soul hard.

Arin: I was just saying, like, you know, I can't imagine somebody wanting to hang out with me

for fucking fourteen years, but lo and behold, somebody did.

Dan: Yeah.

Arin: So that's pretty cool.

Dan: And you got me, too!

I mean, we're only like six or seven years deep but I'd go another seven.

Arin: Yeah, but I don't live with you.

Dan: Yeah, I mean, it only feels like - Arin: I don't come home everyday

and be like: "What's uuuup?"

Dan: You do sometimes. Sometimes you show up at my house and you're like: "What's uuup?"

And I'm like... I don't love you.

*laughs*

Arin: *whispers* "How could you say that? Dan: *laughs*

Dan: Sorry.

You promised you'd never say it in front of the lovelies.

Arin: You're being a real meanie right now. Dan: (laughing) I'm sorry.

Arin: I don't want to bring our bedroom courting - Danny: *laughs*

Arin: into the *laughs*

fucking

*both laugh*

Arin: You're really embarrassing me right now. Dan: Oh, man. Sorry.

Yeah, our nonexistent bedroom troubles *laugh*

Arin: Look at all this shit, dude!

Oh my God, Royal Guard's Shield!

Dan: You'd think they would've bothered to plunder this place in a hundred years.

Arin: Naw man, who's gonna plunder it, the fucking Moblins? They don't know shit.

Dan: Yeah, that's what I mean.

Arin: They just stand around and don't eat the food that's right in front of them.

Dan: Yeah, I know.

It's like they took the place over and they were like

"Leave the weapons and the food."

We'll just kinda wander around for a while.

Arin: We'll just use the cool air, I guess. Dan: Yeah.

And make sure that this place falls into a state of disrepair.

Arin: Yup, doing a great job at it!

Arin: I'm looking around and this disrepair is getting on.

Dan: What are the little floaty red things?

Arin: Evil.

Dan: Yeah, is that just what it is?

Arin: I think it's just concentrated evil.

Dan: Yeah. Those little evil chunks.

Arin: Just sort of having it's way with the place.

Dan: Just evil flakes, floating in the air. By the way -

Arin: Just imagine the scenario if there weren't evil hanging around everywhere.

Dan: not a good breakfast cereal, evil flakes.

Arin: Aaah! Dan: Kellogg's, that was a misstep for them.

Arin: If you put a little sugar on it -

Dan: Well.

Then it's not so evil, is it?

Arin: No. Then it's tasty.

Dan: Yeah.

Arin: Tasterific.

Dan: It's like fucking Grape-Nuts.

Arin: Mmmm.

Dan: You put sugar on those jams and you're like oooh, now it's like sugarcoated pebbles that are breaking

my teeth.

Arin: I love Grape-Nuts.

Hey, you gotta let them soak in the milk for a little bit Dan: You sure do. Arin: so they're not so hard and hard.

Dan: Grape-Nuts are incredible, dude.

Their soaking potential -

Like, you can put three Grape-Nuts - which are each the size of, you know

Uh - just - just - what are they the size of?

Just the smallest pebble in the ocean.

Um, you can put three at the bottom of your bowl

and then pour in a gallon of milk

and just wait two seconds and it's like *slurping sound*

And then you just have three spongey ass Grape-Nuts Arin: *laughs*

Dan: at the bottom of your bowl.

Arin: Three spongey ass Grape-Nuts.

I'll eat them all! Dan: Yeah.

Arin: I'll eat - dude, have you ever fucking -

Okay, so I'm like, I'm doing the calorie counting thing right now.

Dan: Okay.

Arin: Cause I'm like fuck it, why not try some other stuff? Dan: Sure.

Arin: Um.

And it's fine, whatever. But uh,

I'm like, what foods can I eat, but like in regulation - I'm like, what about cereal?

So I'm fucking - I pour myself a bowl of cereal without looking at the -

Well, I did, I looked at the calories - Dan: *laughs*

Arin: And it's like - Dan: I counted, I counted them.

Arin: And it's like a 120 or something, and I'm like

that's nothing! Dan: Is that - okay.

Arin: So I pour myself a bowl, I ate it

and then I looked at it again

and the serving size is like a fourth of a cup. Dan: *laughs*

Arin: So the cereal that I had ended up being like fucking 500 calories or something like that.

Dan: Is that a lot?

Arin: Yeah, well, the daily recommendation is 2000.

Dan: Okay.

Arin: And my TDE is about 2200.

Dan: What does that mean?

Arin: It means how much you burn during the day just by existing.

Dan: Okay.

Arin: Because I'm a bit fat man, 6'2" - Dan: *laughs*

Arin: I weigh 220 pounds.

Dan: Okay.

Arin: So, uh -

I require a lot of calories to operate on the levels that I operate on.

Dan: Right.

Arin: I walk around, I carry around this big lump of coal in my body.

Dan: I eat a lot.

I burn a lot of calories eating *laughs*

Arin: Dude.

Dan: What?

Arin: You know what I fucking learned the other day? Dan: What?

Arin: Alright.

This is gonna blow your fucking mind.

Dan: I'm ready, I've got my helmet on.

Arin: This is gonna rock your dick off, dude.

Dan: Hold on, let me lay some fucking paper towels down on the couch (laughing)

Arin: Hold on, hold on.

I'm serious though.

Dan: for when my brains are -

Arin: This is gonna - this is gonna

like, make your dick shatter in two.

Dan: Oh, well.

Let me layer uh, some extra paper towels, then. /s

Arin: This is gonna flatten your skull so that your brain is on a one dimensional plane.

Dan: Oh my God, I'll go two ply. /s

Arin: Where do you think - Dan: Uhu.

Arin: when you lose weight,

where do you think it goes?

Dan: Into heaven?

Arin: But seriously though.

Dan: When you lose weight?

Arin: Where does it go?

Dan: I thought it just - ...I don't know.

Arin: Did I ju - Fucking Siri.

It's - Oh. Dan: *laughs*

Arin: Oh, it's because I said 'seriously'.

Dan: Oh! *laughs*

Arin: Okay. Dan: Is Siri sticky, is that why you threw her down?

Arin: What?

Dan: Is that why you threw Siri down, cause -

Arin: No, because I said 'seriously'.

Dan: Ooooh.

Arin: and then she thought I was talking to her.

Dan: No, but you threw the phone down after you picked it up, like in a very like ugh kind of way.

Arin: No, because I didn't want to deal with her.

Dan: Oh, okay.

Arin: I don't want to deal with her fucking bullshit. Dan: I thought it was sticky, cause when I walked in to the Grump room today,

you were like, "Dude, everything is sticky, man." Arin: *laughs*

Dan: "And I don't know why."

Dan: I was like, I don't know either Arin, I haven't been here in days!

Arin: Pretty sure it had to do with the half opened can of Monster that like was dripping -

And it wasn't mine, by the way, I know that's the -

Dan: The first thing that people are gonna say. Arin: Yeah.

Arin: Okay, okay, okay, back to the topic at hand. Dan: Okay.

Arin: Where do you think

uh

it goes?

Dan: I don't know, I never really thought about it, I just thought it's - it just kinda vaporizes.

Arin: Okay, but, wh - but if you had to guess?

Dan: If I had to guess? Arin: Yeah.

Dan: I don't know, my guess is it will probably make me sound stupid.

Arin: No.

Dan: Wouldn't it just be converted into energy?

Arin: Well - because nobody gets it right. Dan: Okay.

Arin: Because it's so weird.

Dan: Where does it go?

Arin: Guess!

Dan: You poop it out?

Arin: No.

Dan: Do you...poop it in?

*both laugh*

Arin: And you were afraid of sounding stupid! Dan: *laughs*

Yeah, tell me.

Arin: You breathe it out.

Dan: No shit! Arin: Yeah!

Dan: You breathe out fat? Arin: Yes!

Isn't that nuts?

*panting sounds by Dan*

Arin: Exactly - well, so, if you do that, you're just hyperventilating.

Dan: Damnit.

Arin: So, what cardio does, whenever somebody says like, you know

if you're working out to lose weight, do something that makes you breathe heavy. Dan: Okay.

Arin: Because your body needs the oxygen, right.

Dan: Mhm.

Arin: So, if you're just breathing like that, it's like your body's not using that.

You'll end up giving yourself a headache. Dan: Right.

Arin: But if you're breathing heavy because your body needs more oxygen, then it'll use that oxygen and you won't get a headache

from breathing heavy.

Dan: Get out of here.

Arin: See what I'm saying?

Um. But anyway. Yeah!

So fat is like a really simple chemical compound.

It's like carbon and hydrogen or some shit,

and then when oxygen is introduced to it, it gets converted into,

uh,

carbondioxide and water.

Dan: Wow.

Arin: Yeah! Like fucking, like straight up chemistry.

Dan: I - wha - I'm sure that's why sex burns so many calories, too

cause you're doing all that heavy breathing. Arin: Yeah.

Dan: Woah.

Arin: Isn't that nuts? Dan: Yeah.

Next time I'm with a girl

and she's breathing heavily on my person, I'm gonna be like: "Yeah,

breathe your fat unto me."

Arin: But so, okay, so -

Dan: This took a weird turn. Arin: Where the fuck am I going?

Okay, so.

It's actually 85% br - uh - air

and or carbondioxide

and then 15% water, and nobody knows what water that is. If it's sweat, if it's pee, whatever, they haven't figured that out yet.

Arin: But - Dan: Woah. Arin: So if you lost ten pounds

8.5 pounds of that

is just fucking - you breathed it out.

Dan: What - uhm - Arin: Isn't that nuts? Dan: Where did you learn this?

Arin: Uh, it was a TED talk.

Dan: No shit! Arin: Yeah.

Dan: Wow. Arin: The science of losing weight.

Isn't that nuts? Dan: That is superfascinating and weird. Arin: It's so cool!

It - it - it - so that's why when you like wake up in the morning, you're like "Oh shit, I lost like fucking

2 pounds in my sleep." Dan: Mhm.

Arin: Cause you're just breathing for 8 hours.

Dan: So I'm - I'mma - Arin: *mutters* Wow, what the fuck am I doing, man?

Dan: That's an excellent question.

You are really retracing your steps here.

Um. Maybe through that opening?

Arin: Yeah. I think I'm gonna try that.

Dan: Um.

Yeah, like - and I'm pretty much skinny to the point where it'll be dangerous for me to lose any more weight.

So maybe I just need to stop breathing! Arin: Yeah, you should - yeah.

Dan: Maybe that's the healthiest choice. Arin: Put a kibosh on that shit. Dan: Yeah.

Arin: Cause...Lord knows we don't need breathing. /s

Dan: Here I go.

*Dan inhales*

Arin: Thank God.

Dan (while holding breath): Oh, I can actually feel myself getting fatter.

Arin: Yeah, man. It's uh - it's heavy shit.

Dan: Are you - oh, boy. You're close to Ganon.

Arin: I'm close to Ganon, dude. Dan: Oh my God,

so exciting. Arin: Calamity is almost right around the corner.

*both chuckle*

Dan: That's what my horoscope said today!

*Arin laughs*

Arin: Uh, you're a pisces and it says "good luck and fortune will bestow upon you."

Dan: "Calamity is right around the corner!"

Arin: I'm a capricorn and it says "Death and forever sadness will always be there for you in a pinch."

*Dan laughs*

Arin: Ow! A pinch!

Dan: Leonardo DaPinchi! *Arin laughs* Dan: Our pet hermit crab.

I fucking love that shit. I still think about that every now and then and giggle.

Arin: Leonardo Da Pinchi. Dan: Yeah!

*Dan giggles* Arin: It's something I said and I forgot.

Dan: Yeah, I believe so, actually. Arin: Hahaha, goddamnit.

Arin: Why don't I have a fucking handle on the funny shit that I say?

Dan: Why - why - Arin: Everything I remember is like, man, I wasn't funny that day.

And then you bring up something and you're like "Man, I remember this one time you were funny."

*Dan laughs*

Arin: And I'm like, why don't I remember that?!

Dan: I remember hundreds of thousands of times you were funny.

Arin: Like, name one?!

Dan: Game...Grumps. *Arin laughs*

*Arin makes buzzer sound*

Dan: Oh, boy.

Arin: Game Grumps is not funny, Dan. Dan: Uh-oh, uh-oh.

Arin: There's nothing funny about Game Grumps (laughing).

Dan: Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, look out. Oooh, I'm scared.

Arin: Aaaah!

Arin: There it goes. Dan: Oooooh.

Arin: Oooooh. Dan: That was just in time.

Arin: That sucked for you.

Dan: Whew!

Arin: Dan, Game Grumps is no joke, okay! Dan: Okay.

Arin: It's not just a thing you can make jokes about.

You can giggle over.

Dan: Oh, there's the eye.

Arin: It's the eye of Saruman.

Dan: Sauron, but it's okay.

Arin: I've - I've - *laughs*

Dan: There actually is another character named Saruman -

Arin: George Clinton?

Dan: in, in the Lord of the Rings, so.

Arin: Is there somebody named George Clinton?

Dan: Uh, no - Arin: Did we talk about this? Dan: - he was in Parliament Funkadelic.

Arin: Okay, yeah, we talked about him. Dan: Yeah, you might be thinking of George Clinton.

Arin: Have we talked about uh - Randall Wilson?

Dan: Who's that? Arin: Exactly, who is that?

Dan: Next time on Game Grumps. Arin: Just a name I made up.

Dan: Oh, boy.

Arin: Look at how close to Calamity Ganon I am! Dan: Oh my God! That's exciting!

Arin: I'm about to get zapped!

Dan: Yeah.

Dan: You're about to - *Arin yelling*

Arin: Here we go. Dan: Look how close to Ganon I'm about to die.

Arin: Oooooh, no, more zappies! Dan: No, drop down the thing! Oh, you'll never make it.

Arin: Ooooooooh! Dan: What a terrible idea.

Bye! Arin: Drop down what thing?

Arin: Aaaaah!

*Dan laughing* There's lasers coming at me from every which way!

Dan: There - holy shit.

Arin: Oooh. Dan: Okay.

Arin: Next time, we're gonna walk up down the scary corridor. Dan: Oh my Lord.

*tv zap*

Arin: He's my Lord too, Dan.

Or she.

Dan: Good.

*both chuckle*